#In which Sanjuno gets to be pretentious about how her MC hooking up with the ML is required for plot larger purposes than mere romance
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SPOILERS FOR SANJUNO’S NANO 2020 PROJECT
No Evil Abolishing Resentment System
Transmigrator!Madara meets Reincarnator!Tobirama (… 55 times in a row.)
For NaNoWriMo 2020 – How Many AUs Can I Fit In One Fic?
· 0 Tails Interlude
o Meet Sanzan-han
o Introduction to System driven Quick-Transmigration isekai plot
o “The seeds of evil are as follows, to hear of evil and take no action against it, to see evil and take no action against it, to speak of evil and take no action against it.”
o “To do nothing in the face of evil is not a neutral act.”
o “The only thing required for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing.”
· 1st World:
o Crystal Nuclei Zombie Apocalypse with Ability Users and levelling up AU
o Politician!Madara ended up being shoved into a zombie tide by people who thought he was too strong/disliked him before the apocalypse
o Scientist!Tobirama really regrets not preventing that when Zombie Emperor Madara breaks through the city walls and kills everyone in Konoha Base
o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to complete the vaccine he was working on in his first life – also keep Madara alive so he can’t become a super zombie
§ Tobirama would like to say he is surprised by Madara’s competency in zombie annihilation but he remembers how terrifying Zombie King Madara was so he really isn’t shocked that Empowered Human Madara is just as much the living embodiment of Nightmare Fuel
o Madara as evolved Zombie catnip with a mouthy pet fish
§ Madara is absolutely disgusted by the Z-poc Virus undead they are gross, rotting, and go squelchwhen he hits them.
§ Some zombie bits get stuck in Madara’s hair. He has a screaming tantrum and promptly sets the entire horde on fire.
§ Pro-tip: Career politicians should avoid indulging in a crying fit over getting their precious beautiful hair dirty during a fight if they want to be taken seriously by their military escort even if they areso hilariously OP they can indulge in whiny hysterics and not die horribly as a result
o The Zombies are Zetsu
o Oh look Madara’s blood has the key component to creating the zombie vaccine who would have thought
o There is so much angry sex for stress relief, just… so much
o
· 1 Tail Interlude
o Madara is pissed off that he accidently ended up in a relationship with Tobirama
o Madara wants a refund on this System
o Sanzan-han explains the fine print of “No Evils Abolishing Resentment System” – the Target must have resentment both towards Madara and from Madara
o Madara’s first world was intended to lock his target
o Switching targets will result in a full reset of his karma to level 1 – no cheating by using his previous incarnations accumulated points to get a head start any more
o Madara’s only other valid targets approaching Tobirama’s stats were Hashirama and Mito
o Madara could target someone else but without the heavy accumulation of karma like the Senju-Uchiha bloodfeud situation it would take thousands of lifetimes to accrue 10 tails
o Madara is so mad ^_^
· 2nd World
o Japanese Classic Fable AU
o Crane Wife!Madara being Tsundere with his husband
o Madara is accused of theft and Scholar!Tobirama is convinced to spy on his wife’s weaving
o Madara gets caught ripping out feathers to weave into silks that are sold to pay for Tobirama’s exams
o Madara flies away and is shot down by hunters
o Reborn!Tobirama who is more than a little obsessed with making sure his wife doesn’t have a reason to fly off again
o Madara doesn’t really understand why Tobirama is trying to prevent him from doing anything productive this is weird
o Zetsu is a corrupted monk trying to capture Madara for his feathers/demon core
· 3rd World
o Galactic Empire Mecha Pilots with psychic powers and enhanced bodies versus the Zerg Horde
o Arranged Marriages for the noble class occur based on genetic advantages rather than affection
o Ace Pilot/Mecha Engineer!Tobirama pays less than zero attention to his nominal spouse and heir in favour of developing weapons to fight against the Zerg
o SSS Ace Pilot!Madara resigned to being ignored by spouse, makes friends with in-laws for sheer spite
o Madara framed for sabotage – dies holding off a Zerg swarm
o Science child!Kagami killed by kidnappers
o Reborn!Tobirama pays better attention to his spouse and child while fighting to end the Zerg threat
o The Zerg are Zetsu
o Madara rolls his eyes and sets the Zerg Queen (Kaguya) on fire – Tobirama confused and aroused by his spouse
· 2 Tails Interlude
o Madara wants to know if he’s going to be required to save the world every single time he’s due to earn a new tail
o Sanzan-han: Sources say “probably”
o Madara would question the heavy-handed implication that Zetsu was just using him but he’s still super pissed off about being trapped in a cave for 50 years and then possessed by a demon goddess thing so he’s more than willing the blame Zetsu for all the horrible things that happened
· 4th World
o Japanese Mythical Creature AU
o Kitsune!Madara saves the life of War General/Prince!Tobirama from Yin poisoning
o There’s a snowstorm and Madara has to warm Tobirama up
o Madara is a Calamitous Beauty and killed by cultists who wanted his demon core
o Reborn!Tobirama is doing his best to take responsibility
o Zetsu is the cultists who poisoned Tobirama and killed Madara
o Madara is super pissed off but the shrine and the garden Tobirama builds for him are really nice so maybe he won’t claw the pasty bastard’s face off
· 5th World
o Super Heroes and Villains in a Megamind AU
o Pyromaniacal Villain!Madara “Moon Eye” is obviously an alien and the arch nemesis of the city’s most beloved Hero, Treeman
o Aquatic Hero “Flying Thunder”!Tobirama’s civilian-marine biologist ID keeps getting kidnapped
o Reborn!Tobirama needs to keep Madara sane and honestly that’s easier than it sounds because Madara gets adorably flustered when given sincere compliments and is hilariously easy to distract with questions about his obviously-also-alien pet fish
o #I accidently started dating my brother’s arch nemesis #what do I do? #waiting online for answers
o Sanzan-han is Minion and really likes the exo-suit
o Zetsu is an evil shadow organization trying to take control of the heroes for world domination reasons
o Madara has an invisible Susanoo and as ridiculous as this world can be he’s having fun in it
o “PRESENTATION!”
· 6th World
o Immortal Cultivators AU
o Borderline-demonic/Unorthodox Sect Leader!Madara is getting chased around by Righteous Sect Inner Disciple!Tobirama because Madara keeps nabbing all the good secret treasures that Tobirama needs to prevent the demon realm from breaking free and invading
o Reborn!Tobirama realizes in hindsight that Original Goods!Madara was also trying to prevent the Demon Realm invasion because the Righteous Sects didn’t listen to his initial warnings
o Tobirama eventually pins Madara down as his Dao companion to get access to the booty loot Madara has collected/protect Madara from being targeted by unscrupulous treasure hunters
o The demons/demonic spirits are Zetsu
o Madara is playing whack-a-Zetsu and doesn’t have time for Tobirama’s nonsense
· 3 Tails Interlude
o Sanzan-han praises Madara for his top-notch seduction skillz
o Madara is So Done with this stupid godsdamned fish
o Sanzan-han mentions but doesn’t explain that the accumulation of “affection points” will start having a notable effect on Tobirama soon – so gambatte, Mada-sama!
o Madara tries to ignore the constant hooking up in favour of plotting new ways to kill Zetsu – seeing as the creature is the only thing he can kill in the Other-Worlds without losing the “ExP” that will allow his return home
· 7th World
o Geode Betting Modern AU
o Carver!Madara is a picky spoiled artiste who got blamed for ruining Tobirama’s family
o Reborn-with-Treasure-Senses Appraiser!Tobirama is determined to “get revenge in advance” on Madara only to realize what a dork Madara is
o Tobirama frantically backs off on his face-slapping plot only to overcompensate his way into dating a crazy artist
o #oops
o Zetsu are the yakuza involved in rigging the Geode betting
o Madara is confused by the lack of open warfare but thinks this is a nice vacation
· 8th World
o Greek Monsters AU
o Gorgon!Madara has the strongest stone-gaze in History
o Heroic Demigod!Tobirama arrives to take off Madara’s head for prophecy reasons
o Tobirama’s Quest ends in tragedy – turns out ghosts/guardians of the Underworld don’t turn to stone so Tobirama can’t bring his little brothers out using Madara’s decapitated head
o Madara is hiding from Reborn!Tobirama because he wants to keep in head on his neck, fuckdammit and accidently interrupts the murder of Kawarama and Itama via even more accidental kidnapping
o Tobirama just wants to apologize for overreacting to a very ambiguously worded prophecy that he self-fulfilled – Tobirama is really, really very sorry, really – also wtf give him back his baby brothers
o Zetsu is the Oracle of Kaguya who killed Tobirama’s little brothers and wanted Tobirama/Madara cursed/dead
· 9th World
o Sentinels and Guides are Known AU
o SSS Guide!Madara is 100% going to cut a bitch if these special fucking snowflake godsdamned Sentinels don’t piss off and leave him alone
o 6-sense Alpha Sentinel Prime!Tobirama does not want a Guide who will only slow him down with their coddling nature
o Tobirama rejects Madara/doesn’t acknowledge their nascent connection
o Reborn!Tobirama wakes up out of a zone – wakes up after pulling the Guide he recognized far too late as his own out of the depths of the bay – and promptly terrifies his entire family by going hyper-focused and borderline feral as he takes off to hunt down his Guide
o Tobirama’s Guide – his Guide who is still alive – still alive and not drowned
o Reborn!Tobirama has some lingering trauma to work through btw
o Madara terrifies so many people when he starts inducing hallucinations as a defense mechanism
o Zetsu are dark Sentinel cult masquerading as a shady government organization
· 10th World
o Classic D&D AU
o Harpy Queen!Madara is being plotted against
o Necromancer!Tobirama regrets killing Madara and keeping his soul in a jar when he finds out the truth
o Tobirama let’s Izuna “mete justice” – protip: Uchiha Harpies are actually Furies
o Reborn!Tobirama decides he quite enjoys being Madara’s concubine
o Madara lays an egg
o The Demon Gods trying to break loose and destroy all life get kicked back into the Underworld – insert Zetsu smiting here
o Hashirama is traumatized by his little brother’s loincloth
· 4 Tails Interlude
o Madara throws an epic tantrum over the egg-laying thing
o Sanzan-han doesn’t understand his deal but obligingly flees screaming in terror anyway
· 11th World
o Imperial Court AU
o Fire Priest!Madara is given as a “bride” to Imperial Prince Tobirama to remove Tobirama from the line of succession
o Tobirama considered a “holy child” by the Fire devotees due to his red eyes
o Tobirama realizes too late that his opinion of his “wife” was manipulated so that he wouldn’t be able to gather his full strength to compete with his enemies
o Reborn!Tobirama has goals to 1. Be gay, and; 2. Commit Treason
o Zetsu as the scheming Minister who is actually the bastard child of Empress Dowager Kaguya
o Madara turns the court upside down and shakes because he’s bored and vindictive
· 12th World
o Beastmen in Space AU
o The Tribes are even more stupidly competitive than shinobi Clans but have more space (lol) to spread out so they aren’t at full war with each other
o Snow Leopard!Madara has a female beast form as most Uchiha males do – Uchiha females tend to have male Beast Forms
o Uchiha Do Not switch forms in Public/on the Battlefield and also the Uchiha don’t gender the way the other Tribes do
o White Tiger!Tobirama only discovers this after the Uchiha are destroyed by hostile invasion of Borg-type enemies
o Zetsu are the Borg knockoffs
o Reborn!Tobirama starts courting Madara because rowr and peace happens because kittens – yay!
o Madara uses his carving skills to create power stones that allow High Level Beasts to control themselves
· 13th World
o Castlevania-esque Vampire AU
o Vampires and Humans share a world but live in different realities thanks to magic sub-dimensions
o Vampire Prince!Madara is lazy and hedonistic
o Vampire Prince!Tobirama is disdainful of Madara’s magpie brain
o Zetsu is the Religious extremist Vampire cult that realizes that Madara is the key to tearing down the veil and bleeds him dry to shatter the barrier separating the worlds and free the first vampire Kaguya
o Reborn!Tobirama absolutely refuses to allow the Veil to get torn down again so he gets stupidly “devoted and jealous” over his previously despised betrothed
o Madara is rather offended that the blood drinking is sexy and also that Tobirama is a tasty snack
· 14th World
o Merfolk AU
o Devil Firefish Mer!Madara always knew that the merfolk from the deeper waters would only visit the Volcanic Reef to mate and leave, especially the sharks – but he had still wanted to hope for something more…
o Great White Mer!Tobirama only ever left the Kelp Forest to guard his more hormone driven kin when the pod headed to shallower waters to spawn and let the fry gather strength in the protection of the cove before heading back home
o Tangling with the pretty, poisonous leader of the Uchiha pod was a mistake that could be entirely blamed on his brother’s tendency to overindulge in urchin-spines and share his vices with every mer in the vicinity
o Someone (see: Zetsu) fucks up and pisses off the Ocean
o Seaquakes and the resulting tsunami’s drive all the mer to the deepest-water cities to wait out the disasters
o Madara gets eaten by a giant kraken while defending the fry – Tobirama arrives just in time to see Madara and their son get torn in half
o Reborn!Tobirama courts Madara properly and the Uchiha pod moves into the sea-caves because the coral as too fragile for Tobirama’s peace of mind
o Zetsu are creepy seaweed/anglerfish things
· 15th World
o Virtual Reality Game AU
o Code-writer!Tobirama develops Kenjutsu Mania Online in an attempt to revive his comatose little brothers
o Overworked Detective!Madara gets suckered into the VR game with his little brothers
o Crazy Person (Kaguya) traps all the players in a death game – as you do
o Tobirama gets exposed as a game designer and PK’d
o Reborn!Tobirama parties with Madara and gets married for the ExP bonus
o Zetsu are a computer virus AI like Agent Smith
o Madara uses IRL weapon skills to break the game and his character build before he smashes the Crazy Person open like an overripe melon
o All the little brothers wake up
· 5 Tails Interlude
o Sanzan-han is very proud! Mada-sama is halfway there!
o Madara is throwing a huge fit over giving birth in 2 out of 5 worlds
o But Mada-sama, the massive amount of affection points!
o Fuck your affection points!
o That’s the spirit, Mada-sama!
· 16th World
o Modern Wizards AU
o Dragon Keeper!Madara trips over poachers/dark wizards who kidnapped Ancient Runes Master!Tobirama for evil-ritual-sacrifice purposes
o They accidently end up in a Marriage Bond
o Tobirama suspects Madara of being a Dark Wizard
o Madara is framed and executed – only for the real culprit to be exposed a few months later
o The real culprit is Kaguya and Zetsu natch
o Tobirama explodes a Time Turner
o Reborn!Tobirama drags his new spouse Dark Wizard hunting
o Couple Therapy for dumb Wizards go
· 17th World
o ID Porn in a Miraculous AU
o Masked Hero Phoenix is consistently pursued and wooed by his partner in crime fighting, Dragon
o PoliSci TA!Madara has a raging brain crush on Bio-Chem Doctorate Student!Tobirama
o An ill-advised insult/rejection causes Phoenix to darken and self-destruct
o A grief-stricken Dragon “teleports” his mind back in time
o Madara is so confused by Tobirama and his new stalker tendencies
o Kaguya is RabbitMoth and Zetsu are the Akuma
· 18th World
o Really Cheap Silmarillion Knockoff AU
o Spell-Singer!Madara is driven mad by an Oath that was forced on him by a Messenger done Dark
o Kaguya as the evil god and Zetsu as her evil Messenger
o Forger!Tobirama doesn’t pay attention to extenuating circumstances until it’s too late and the bodies are buried
o The World goes to shit for 3 ages because Tobirama’s shinies are the shiniest
o Reborn!Tobirama devotes himself to fucking over Zetsu’s evil schemes and making pretty baubles for Madara
o The fact that Madara’s new hairpin can level a mountain range is incidental and has nothing to do with Tobirama’s paranoia
o An ancient mystery re. parentage is solved when Madara sings Kagami into being right on schedule – Tobirama is delighted to assist this time
· 19th World
o Steampunk AU a la FF flavour
o Enemy Nation!Madara is the Prince/General who goes crazy due to infection from alien viral lifeform
o HoL Companion!Tobirama as a Prince of the protag Nation who are prophesized to save the world from Calamity
o World goes to shit
o Zetsu is the Scourge and Kaguya is Jenova/the Accursed
o Tobirama is too impatient to wait out the “time-skip”
o Reborn!Tobirama sneaks into the enemy stronghold – finds pre-infection!Madara imprisoned with tiny clone-child Kagami and steals them both
o Cue roadtrip shenanigans as both sides try to track them down
o Madara gets to one-man-army the forces of evil – Tobirama is very impressed
· 20th World
o Demon Hunter AU
o Incubus!Madara has a “food allergy” and has been stuck at the physical age of 13 being fed energy by his family members for the last 200 years
o Functionally Ace Demon Hunter!Tobirama pegs Madara for a sex demon on sight because the lust whammy is legit the most distracting thing to ever happen to him and that incubus looks like a child ew
o Tobirama sets a trap for Madara and is mean about it because he doesn’t appreciate the second-hand bad-touch feelings – trigger warning: allusions to non-con gangbang
o Madara kills the “bait” and Tobirama bursts into the room
o Tobirama sees adult!Madara in the aftermath of the carnage and is horrified to recognize his soulmate
o Madara proceeds to vomit blood and dies at Tobirama’s feet – the allergy is no joke
o Tobirama learns about Madara’s “allergy” from revenge rampage Izuna – recognizes that Izuna is Touka’s soulmate and doesn’t fight back
o Tobirama regrets so hard he magics his soul back in time to the day he first saw Madara
o The most awkward dating adventure begins
o Zetsu are the actually evil demons who eat people for real – and not in the fun way Uchiha do
· 21st World
o Gods AU
o Ocean Kami!Tobirama realizes too late that he loved Volcano!Kami Madara and was unable to rescue him from the Underworld – that trick never works
o Reborn!Tobirama starts bringing Madara tributes, averts the Twilight of the Gods via shameless debauchery, and accidently builds a tropical island honeymoon palace to spoil Madara in
o Zetsu are the evil servants of the “god-eating Titan” Kaguya
· 6 Tails Interlude
o Lots of Madara screaming about how the Powers That Be are far too fucking obsessed with seeing Madara get railed
o Sanzan-han goes no-duh, most lifeforms devote about 99% of their spare life energy towards reproductive efforts
o Madara is very grumpy about being a SSS Class Ninja Nightmare reduced to pillow-book wish-fulfillment fantasy fodder
· 22nd World
o Noodle Dragon AU
o Dragon King of the Northern Ocean!Tobirama and Quetzalcoatl!Madara courting shenanigans
o OTL!Tobirama fucked up and led Hunters (Zetsu) to OTL!Madara’s nest and they stole his heart for black magic doomsday ritual
o Madara ended up a stone statue curled around the shattered remains of his first egg
o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to be a properly attentive mate
o Madara is resigned to laying eggs again
· 23rd World
o GoT-knockoff Medieval AU
o Madara gets burned at the stake as a witch, doesn’t die, and then gets torn apart by a terrified mob
o Northern Lord!Tobirama realizes that he done fucked up and needs Madara to beat the evil ice zombies
o Reborn!Tobirama starts wooing an extremely cranky pyro-prince while trying to give the Uchiha Crown Prince more positive PR with the peasantry to avoid another riot
o Zetsu are the Others, Kaguya as the Night Queen
· 24th World
o ‘Taur AU – Tribal Setting
o Leopard-Taur!Madara lives high up in the Mountains
o Tiger-Taur!Tobirama is poisoned and delirious during a fated encounter – he doesn’t learn what happened or who saved him until after both prides are mostly destroyed
o Reborn!Tobirama manages to avoid delirium induced amnesia and starts stalking Madara with the intent to make love not war
o Zetsu are corrupted from using radioactive/poisonous Power Stones to boost strength, Kaguya is actually parasite queen
· 25th World
o Exorcists and Ghosts AU
o Cursed Ghost!Madara lingers in the courtyard he called home while he was alive
o Kagami wanders in during the ghost hour and Madara shoves him into a cabinet to protect him
o Exorcist!Tobirama finds out that Madara was still protecting Kagami from the devil spirits – not haunting him – only after the devils grow stronger and get free after ghost!Madara is destroyed
o Reborn!Tobirama needs to figure out a way to woo his past incarnation’s very justifiably angry murdered consort before Madara denies Tobirama visitation rights
o Zetsu are devil spirits who cursed Madara to death, Kaguya wants to consume Kagami for power
· 26th World
o Midsummer Night’s Dream AU
o Fairy Prince!Tobirama gets dosed with love potion
o Meets Dark Forest King!Madara
o Falls in potion induced love – which gets Tobirama invested enough to forget his previous prejudices and fall in True Love
o Then Madara dies
o Reborn!Tobirama is now immune to Love Potions because he is in True Love with Madara – fuck you, cheating bastard traitors to the Fairy Crown
o Tobirama runs off into the Dark Forest to snag himself a Goblin King (and break Hashirama out of Love Potion induced insanity, natch)
o Zetsu as the dirtbag fiancée, Kaguya as the dark fairy trying to take over both kingdoms
· 27th World
o Naga AU
o Banded Sea Kriat!Tobirama tangles with in-heat Black Hooded Tiger Snake!Madara and doesn’t realize until later that the whole situation was a bloodmage trap
o Zetsu are the bloodmages
o Tobirama finds Madara’s still bleeding skinned body a few weeks after they tangle – manages to get Madara’s skin and their still-curing egg back from the hunting team
o Tobirama tries to save their egg and fails – it was taken from Madara too soon
o Tobirama hunts down the bloodmage and dies in killing them
o Reborn!Tobirama gives Madara proper aftercare – notes the bloody wound from the unwanted heat inducing potion – and hauls Madara back to his den for proper nesting
· 28th World
o Magical Knight AU
o Storm Knight!Tobirama damages Evil General!Madara’s control seal during the battle of the week
o Tobirama then runs into amnesiac in civilian ID Madara after the fight and goes on a date
o Tobirama still end up killing Madara when the brainwashing is reapplied – prolonged death scene reveals that Madara was mind-controlled not committing betrayal
o Reborn!Tobirama puts significantly more effort into ensuring that the control seal is completely removed from “General Indra”
o Madara helps defeat the Ancient Evil while wearing leather booty shorts
o Kaguya as Mettalia, Zetsu as the Youma
· 7 Tails Interlude
o Forget about the indignity of being Tobirama’s go-to baby incubator – Madara is absolutely flipping his shit over the booty shorts
o Sanzan-han thought they were quite flattering on you, Mada-sama!
· 29th World
o Blood Magic AU
o Demon Lord!Madara gets honeytrapped by Blood Mage!Tobirama and stabbed from behind by Hashirama
o Tobirama turns Madara’s body into a scrying gem to steal his powers and secrets
o Snooping through Madara’s memories of their courtship lets Tobirama discover that Madara’s “evil plot” was a baby Kagami now cold in his cradle
o Reborn!Tobirama is doing everything in his power to keep his family from finding out about Madara because the Senju’s whole “thing” is demon hunting and stealing their magic
o Kaguya as the creepy Ancestor of the Senju clan who started the demon killing habit, Zetsu as the twisted remains of Senju elders who cursed themselves due to magic addiction
· 30th World
o Phantom Thief AU
o Kaito!Tobirama has to watch as his dear Detective!Madara gets gunned down by the Black Organization
o Reborn!Tobirama first tries to send Madara away for his own safety – has a control freak panic attack when he can’t see Madara
o Tobirama proceeds to go full disclosure overcompensation trying to keep Madara safe
o Madara is a Sigh and steals all nine bijuu tama while Tobirama is sorting himself out
o … Tobirama would like to know when his dear Detective learned to pick locks but before that there is a very serious problem that has arisen in Tobirama’s pants that needs to be dealt with because that was the smoothest heist Tobirama has ever borne witness to holy shit
o Zetsu as the Black Organization looking for the magic gem Kaguya
· 31st World
o Transformers AU
o Decepticon!Madara is Sunspot and Autobot!Tobirama is Whitespace
o The Great War happens – Kaguya-as-Unicron wakes up and eats most of the planet and population
o “That’s no moon.”
o Whitespace yeets his spark back in time and attempts to if not stop then at least delay the start of the Great War
o Reborn!Whitespace ends up pair-bonding with Sunspot to rob the Decepticons of their Air Commander
o A 3rd faction forms separate from the High Council versus Violent Terrorist Extremists options
· 32nd World
o Beauty and the Beast meets Hanahaki Tragedy AU
o Imprisoned Guest!Tobirama heads home for The Visit and stays away too long – not longer than he promised, but Beast!Madara was days away from suffocation
o Tobirama comes back to a silent castle and finds Madara on his bed surrounded by blood and the flowers that had burst out from under his skin
o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to break the curse – Madara is just really tired and in pain
o What kind of fucking sadist curses a kid with roses growing inside their body – Madara was 13 when this shit started and his body knows it
o True Loves Kiss ensues (and also Itama and Kawarama beat the shit out of Zetsu for cursing their new brother in law)
· 33rd World
o ABO ElfQuest-ish AU
o Alpha!Tobirama thinks he was tricked into marriage hunting Omega!Madara as part of a plot against the Senju Kingdom – everyone knows that you can’t trust Dark Elves
o Tobirama finds out too late that there are evil forces on the loose that only the Uchiha are aware of – that’s why the Dark Elves are called Dark Elves, because they hunt evil in the dark
o Madara is caught and left mutilated for Tobirama to come across just as he made up his mind to treat his mate better
o Reborn!Tobirama misses his cue from the original setup – but he still finds Madara hiding in a waterfall cave because fuck no, no more fucking fucking
o Spoiler: Madara gets fucked good and hard
o Tobirama and Madara go demon hunting together
o Zetsu are the Madkin demons created by Kaguya’s twisted flesh-shaping
· 34th World
o Wonderland AU
o Evil Dictatorship ruling family Uchiha Clan are actually held captive by their Palace – it’s a seal keeping a demon asleep and powered by the Uchiha who live inside the castle – the Uchiha don’t actually do much ruling, the Council of Elders is where the majority of the corruption is
o Revolutionary!Tobirama kidnaps Crown Prince of Hearts!Madara during the siege to “free” Wonderland which lets the demon loose so Tobirama is forced to marry Madara and have kids quick due to being responsible for the plan that killed off 99% of the Uchiha
o Also people born with red eyes get married to the Uchiha in the Kingdom of Hearts – those with red eyes have hearts that cannot be fooled or controlled (meaning they’re able to see through the demon’s tricks)
o Reborn!Tobirama has just enough time to alter his plan for the attack on the Palace of Hearts – then he walks in on the turncoat guards who gave the Revolution entry to the Palace making comments about sexually assaulting Madara
o Tobirama bursts in before Madara can break their skulls and “saves” his future husband
o Most of the Uchiha survive this time – only the Elders get killed
o Tobirama marries Madara again and gets to work on revamping the bad laws
o Zetsu is the Jabberwocky
· 35th World
o Werewolf Fighting Ring AU
o Alpha Werewolf!Tobirama was unwillingly mated to Alpha Werewolf!Madara when he was caught and held prisoner by slave traffickers
o Tobirama rejects Madara once they’re free of the arena but makes sure to “payback” Madara for his “humiliation” first
o Madara had been given heat drugs the entire time and didn’t remember what Tobirama resented him for
o Madara ends up dying from mate-loss
o Tobirama is focused on bringing down the slavery ring and doesn’t know Madara died – until Hashirama sends him a letter about how his mate “didn’t make it through the birth” and asking him to get back for the funeral
o Tobirama finally slows down – reads the file on Madara he has been ignoring since he found it – and breaks
o Reborn!Tobirama is focused on treating Madara as a proper mate while also getting revenge on the Slavers
o Madara is going to rip out so many throats out over being pregnant again
o Zetsu as the warlocks running the slave rings to feed Kaguya power
· 36th World
o Star Wars AU
o By-the-Code Jedi!Tobirama tends to bisect all the “darksiders” he runs into – kills Izuna during a mission
o Madara does full dark-side rage and Empress Kaguya takes over
o Zetsu as the Darkside clone army
o Reborn!Tobirama is a lot less saber-happy and has learned that the Uchiha are not dark – more wild/grey
o Ends up Force Bonded to Madara to bring Balance
· 8 Tails Interlude
o Madara has a screaming breakdown to the tune of “why fucking Tobirama?!?!?!”
o Sanzan-han is like “He resented you the most? Duh? No Evil Abolishing Resentment System?”
o Madara tries his best to fry the stupid gods-be-damned-twice fish
· 37th World
o Sex Slave Soulmate AU
o War-Mage!Tobirama uses borderline-forbidden magic to make Kagami – shatters his soulmate link to do so, which is what makes the magic unpopular but not illegal as nobody is actually “harmed” by the spell
o Note: Kagami is now the living embodiment of the link
o Kagami finds Courtesan!Madara in a high-end brothel that is a front for nobles to buy magically bound sex-slaves – this is actually super forbidden magic, btw
o Tobirama saves Madara and the other enslaved thralls while rescuing Kagami
o Madara had enough magic to fight against the enchantment and managed to get Kagami out of the brothel – that’s how Tobirama knew where to attack
o No follow through after the rescue – Madara and the others are left under the enslavement seals
o Madara ends up assaulted/dead/silenced by the nobles who used to patronize the brothel and slave market
o Reborn!Tobirama moves faster and has already figured out how to break the enslavement curse – gets to the brothel before Madara manages to get Kagami out again
o Mexican standoff ensues – Tobirama rescues his soulmate and kid
o Madara gets freed from the curse
o Courting ensues when their soulmark repairs when they touch after the curse is broken
o Kaguya as the evil mage who was using the brothels as a power source, Zetsu as her simulacrum servants
· 38th World
o Mythos AU
o Dragon!Tobirama is married to Phoenix!Madara and resents it
o Madara has bad PR and Tobirama listens to rumours so he ignores Madara as much as he can
o Civil War erupts – Madara hides Kagami when their Palace is attacked and is a distraction
o Tobirama finds his spouse ritually violated to steal his “fire”
o Reborn!Tobirama is a much more enthusiastic spouse and realizes that Madara is a fluffy sap
o Zetsu as the invading horde of magic thieves
· 39th World
o Angels AU
o Angel!Tobirama is “tempted” by Fallen!Madara
o Tobirama kills Madara and kicks off a new War In Heaven
o Regret hits when Tobirama finds Kagami’s body after Danzo kills him… in an exact mirror of how Tobirama tricked Madara
o Reborn!Tobirama decides to “prove” that Madara is “evil” before killing him this time to keep the War from happening again
o Tobirama gets his nose rubbed in Madara’s ability to love his family
o Zetsu as actual demons who are trying to kill off both Angels and Fallen
· 40th World
o Fae Marriage Hunt AU
o Winter Fae!Tobirama was a petty bastard and resisted his betrothal to the point a Marriage Hunt was the only option
o Skinchanger!Madara wins the Hunt
o The peace between the High Court and the Wild Hunt collapses after Madara is killed during a diplomatic meeting
o Reborn!Tobirama decides to play along/use his “marriage” to make the peace permanent
o Tobirama gets his misconceptions challenged when Madara rides his cooperative “willing” bride into the ground
o Kaguya as an evil Fairy Queen with Zetsu as her Greymalkin
· 41st World
o The Mummy AU
o Archeologist!Tobirama accidently triggers mummy!Madara’s awakening and the crazy demon cultists take advantage
o Madara lets Tobirama kill him rather than let the cultists sacrifice Tobirama
o Tobirama gets an info dump on Madara’s trauma
o Reborn!Tobirama uses the evil cult to resurrect Madara properly and woos the ancient shogun like a boss
o Kaguya as even more ancient evil Mummy and Zetsu as obsessed cultists
· 42nd World
o Labyrinth AU
o Adventurer!Tobirama keeps meeting a mysterious “king” in his dreams – King of the Labyrinth!Madara keeps a veil over his head and his hands covered by extra-long fluttery sleeves
o Tobirama has to beat the Labyrinth to rescue his little brothers
o Paranoid Tobirama gets tricked into betraying Madara by goblin Zetsu – the Labyrinth collapses
o Tobirama’s little brothers are killed along with all the other kidnapped children – the energy from their deaths and the destruction of the Labyrinth is used to fuel the resurrection of a Demon God Kaguya
o Tobirama dies taking his revenge after learning the full story
o Reborn!Tobirama is much more willing to “dance” with Madara now that he knows Madara is as much or more a prisoner than the stolen children
o Madara was used as a lure – his fingers bound in wire and his eyes sewn shut – but they miscalculated because Madara was still the King and wouldn’t let anyone who can’t complete his Labyrinth reach the children
o Tobirama completes the Labyrinth… after he frees Madara
o Yay romantic dance sequences
· 43rd World
o Four Kings AU
o Byakko!Tobirama gets trapped in a blood-and-wine seal
o Suzaku!Madara runs afoul of Tobirama’s enemies, kills them all in a rage, and trips into Tobirama’s trap with him
o Violent coitus ensues
o Madara breaks the seal once the trap’s power has been exhausted and runs away
o Tobirama wakes up with a blank memory as a result of the seal
o Madara lays an egg – Kagami hatches
o Zetsu as Minions of the God-Eater Kaguya catch Madara while he’s weak and sacrifice him thinking he still contains the combined essence of Byakko and Suzaku
o Hey but actually Madara’s power was at a low ebb because he spent it all on Kagami so no resurrections for you, stupid doomsday cult
o Tobirama rescues Kagami – baby bird begs the tiger to save his mama – is too late
o Reborn!Tobirama gets to watch his past!self deflower the avatar of Suzaku and oh shit that means Kagami is my son? Tobirama is a scream
o Time to gather the Four Kings and destroy a Demon Cult! Mito is Seiryuu and Hashirama is Genbu.
· 44th World
o Warprize Ger AU
o Imperial Prince!Tobirama is given as a consort to Ger Emperor Madara as part of a Senju plot
o Tobirama is unaware that his attendants are using him to poison Madara but is super pissed at his father for giving him away as a treaty gift
o Madara dies birthing Kagami but reveals to Tobirama that he was glad to marry him – Kagami is worth it and Tobirama was the only man to ever give Madara flowers
o Kagami learns that it was a Senju plot that killed his mother and hates Tobirama for his part in it
o War erupts between the Uchiha Empire and the Senju Kingdom again and destroys both countries
o Reborn!Tobirama decides to overturn all his father’s plan and dotes on his Imperial Spouse – so manyflowers are given
o Madara is an amazing Emperor and newly crowned Emperor Hashirama is super thrilled to have such peaceful relations with his neighbour thanks to Tobirama’s beautiful love story
· 45th World
o Buddy-cop StarTrek Federation AU
o Senju-With-Tentacles, Psychic!Uchiha-With-Horns
o PHEREMONE MARKERS~!!
o Zetsu are the Borg
o Kagami is a Tube Baby
· 9 Tails Interlude
o Madara is freaking the fuck out the last set of worlds were uniquely traumatizing – especially the Labyrinth one
· 46th World
o Loveless AU
o Sacrifice!Madara has learned to fight on auto – the first Sacrifice to figure out how to do so, and he doesn’t stop fighting even when his Fighter shows up
o Fighter!Tobirama never wanted a Sacrifice because he didn’t want them to get hurt and he sees Madara acting as a Fighter so he doesn’t believe that Madara is a Sacrifice
o The name of their Bond is Devotion
o Madara gets targeted by a swarm of Dr. Kaguya’s fake-bonded Zetsu
o Tobirama finds Madara’s body in Kaguya’s lab and uncovers the Bond too late to save his Sacrifice
o Reborn!Tobirama is hyper overprotective and Madara trounces his Fighter’s ass up and down the street until he feels better about living in a reality with a world-wide virginity fetish
· 47th World
o Witch Madara and Magical Creature Tobirama
o Tobirama is cursed into a human form
o Tricked into thinking that he has to kill Madara/a Witch to get the curse broken?
o It was all a lie
o Tobirama twisting the curse to go back in time instead of dying
o Madara is too gods-be-damned-again tired for this nonsense
o
· 48th World
o Stargate AU
o Head Scientist of the Expedition Tobirama
o Leader of the surviving “Ancients” Madara
· 49th World
o Welcome to Nightvale AU
o Tobirama, the Scientist
o Madara, the Sherriff of the Secret Police
o
· 50th World
o BDSM AU
o Tobirama IDS as a Switch but he’s service oriented non-dynamic instead
o Madara thinks toys/scenes are silly – demi-romantic/grey-ace Madara rides again
o Tobirama has cultural dissonance meeting a “Dom” who likes being the one fucked
· 51st World
o TRON?
· 52nd World
o Tyrant CEO/Entertainment Circle
· 53rd World
o From another world AU
o Tobirama drops into Fantasy Land from a Modern-ish Naruto World
o Madara as the Villainous Noble who was “jealous” of Tobirama’s magic power
· 54th World
o Last Unicorn AU
o Madara is the Kirin
o Tobirama as a Wizard who likes Science more
· 55th World
o Dragon Raja AU
· 10 Tails Interlude
o Sanzan-han reveals why they were helping Madara – and fade to black
· Return to the Warring Clans Era
o Canon is About to Be Diverted
o Madara is back on the battlefield where Izuna died
o Promptly summons Sanzan-han to stop this fucking bullshit – Sanzan-han has ascended and become a massive dragon so yeah the battle is definitely over now
o Tobirama appears to be having a migraine – whoops looks like the arrival of Sanzan-han has started the data-dump of all Tobirama’s System-generated memories into canon!Tobirama
o Peace and Konoha happen
· Epilogue/Extras
o Tobirama has Suspicions regarding his shiny new memories – especially because he remembers seeing that fish. Everywhere. All the time. Stupid fish.
o Everyone is very confused by how fast Tobirama and Madara get over the war and hook up but yay peace? Also Madara and Tobirama somehow make a baby and everyone is too busy trying to figure out how that works to complain anymore.
o
·
#Sanjuno's ficwork#NEARS#No Evil Abolishing Resentment System#MadaTobi#TobiMada#Pray for me friends this is how I die#Transmigrator meets Reincarnator#In which Sanjuno gets to be pretentious about how her MC hooking up with the ML is required for plot larger purposes than mere romance#NaNoWriMo 2020
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