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#NONSTOP my dad is getting the biggest kick out of it too bc this is one of his favorite bands
marblerose-rue · 8 months
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commission for @imperfectlovesong of his fursona!! :-) this is not my beautiful house!!! this is not my beautiful wife!!!!!!!!
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isa-ghost · 6 months
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I need the headcanons, Isa. I need them like I need air. (I also have had very little time to watch QSMP overall, so all of my q!Phil info comes from you) -River
OH FUCK I WASN'T EXPECTING TO GET MULTIPLE ASKS ABOUT THEM. /POS
Here's Headcanon Set 1
NOW MORE
He's an expert at playing stupid. I don't have any actual situations from canon off the top of my head to apply this to, but his wits are sharp enough for him to pull it off when shit isn't explosively hitting the fan
He hates not being able to fly, flying is/was the main way he would de-stress. Nothing makes him feel lighter than the breeze in his feathers and a breathtaking view
This man's commitment to The Bit is so underestimated. If The Bit was a person, it'd be part of his polycule. People just overlook his ability to commit to a bit because he has to personally find the bit worth committing to
Obligatory Shiny Good Crow Brain mention. Why do you think his backpacks need sorting like once every few weeks (though he neglects them for longer than that)? And shiny is not always literal. Sometimes it means flowers or pretty types of wood or a neat mob.
Every once in a while someone can get him to laugh in a way that Almost sounds like a squawk. He doesn't know how it happens, it's like an involuntary snort laugh, but with cawing.
Unfortunately for him, playfully raising his blood pressure (stares at the kids, Tubbo, the polycule, some others) is kinda funny. It's the way he gets louder the more exasperated he gets.
He has 100% slept so hard that he snored loud enough to earn a kick in the side from Chayanne
Speaking of sleep, this idiot will pass out in that wooden chair and then wake up in the morning and bitch about his neck aching as if he isn't the reason it's aching. Tallulah especially has roasted him for this
His dedication to Chayanne and Tallulah can go unmentioned bc it's just so obvious but I need everyone to understand it's not just how he'd burn the island to ashes for them. It's also how he'd stop mid-tea party with Tallulah, Pomme & Co, dressed the whole nine yards in a tutu, tiara & obnoxious amounts of pretend jewelry to beat the ever-loving SHIT out of a threat
At first Irish Goodbyes were unintentional (which is what made them so funny) but now it's become one of the biggest bits he's committed to. This man loves embodying that gif of the dude going ✌🏻 and vanishing.
Tallulah totally told him about the Duolingo "It's Spanish or Vanish" meme. It won't leave his head now
Anytime he does the reverb voice or something he is pulling a megaphone out of his backpack and yelling into it
Because I forgot it in the first hc set and it's too funny for me not to include, I must once again tap the sign that says "Phil and Fit fuck nasty behind Fit's gym." Why do you think the shit Fit says like "big boy" gets such a reaction out of Phil? He's heard it elsewhere
He thinks he has too much self-respect to do it but if he didn't, he'd 100% be the dad to dab or whip-nae nae just to make Chayanne and Tallulah faceplant on the ground out of embarrassment
Speaking of faceplanting, Tallulah is so good at timing when she does it, it absolutely kills Phil every time. It's like one of the Top 5 ways to get him to crack up
Calling back to the Bit Commitment hc: "The 4th Wall" is a bit he made up and won't stop referencing. It's not that he's fail rping in meta, he's getting conspiracy-style existential as a joke and that's why Tallulah hates it so much
Stealing this one from my hcs about my angel OC inspired by Phil: If you put him in water, his wings will involuntarily flap like a bird in a bath. It isn't nonstop, it's like a stim he can't help doing every so often.
He loves Rose so much. She instantly makes him feel safe. He regularly has to resist the urge to passionately gush about her to people because he knows they'd be like What The Fuck Are You On About. Rose is blorbo from his brain (little does he know, she isn't entirely)
He likes to pretend he isn't, but he's sentimental as hell. Why do you think he hasn't changed the ugly dirt shack? Why do you think he has so many backpacks of stuff? He's got that crow hoarder brain but he also just attaches to things to easily. Nostalgia and love for history has him in a death grip. Little does he know, it's a trait he's kept from his past
Speaking of his past, until I get canon story explaining otherwise, in my mind he IS hardcore!Phil but the Federation wiped his memory after somehow managing to invite him to the island. The Ender King & Rose's arrivals into qsmp canon are two very different ways of attempting to trigger his memories. What he thinks are dreams are actually those forgotten memories of what he was doing before coming to the island
Okay that's long enough, look out for a third set because I got another ask waiting for more >:)
EDIT: Here's Set 3 :D
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