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houseofanticipation · 7 months

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After six months of leaving your window unlocked, someone finally took the bait.

You frequent some dark corners of the internet. When tumblr wasn't enough to get you wet anymore you turned to reddit, and when that stopped working you moved to 4chan. These days the sites you cum to don't even have names, their URLs are just strings of random letters and numbers. It was in one of these places that you saw the symbol.

The only identifying feature of the original poster was an off-putting avatar image of Sonic the Hedgehog's gaping asshole. The post was a single photo of the symbol, written in thick marker on a scrap of looseleaf paper. Below it, the text read: place this symbol in your window to let passersby know it's unlocked, and you're ready to be taken advantage of.

You came when you saw that symbol. (You had been touching yourself for hours at that point, but still, the symbol is what pushed you over the edge.) You saved a screenshot of the symbol, and in the nights that followed you touched yourself to it again and again, daring yourself to do it, imagining the things strangers could do to you in your sleep. When your better judgement finally caved to that insatiable need, you touched yourself again. You sat there for an hour, edging and watching that symbol in the window, until your mind felt slow and stupid with fantasies.

You did that a few more times in the following nights. But the after a week the fantasies alone weren't doing it for you anymore, and you were increasingly realizing something that probably should have been obvious from the beginning: most people aren't into the same disgusting shit you're into. The people in those ugly little corners of the web lived all over the world. What were the odds one of them would just walk past your first-floor apartment one day?

So you forgot about it. Mostly. You left it there, of course, but the more time went by the less you believed anything would ever come of it. You turned to other places to make you cum. Lately you've been getting off on posting pictures of yourself, letting strangers describe the ways they'd like to use and abuse you.

And then this morning you found three polaroid pictures placed neatly on your kitchen table.

All three pictures are of you, naked and asleep in bed. You started sleeping naked ages ago, at the advice of a tumblr post detailing how to be more of a slut. You're glad you did now, because the feeling you get looking at these pictures is like nothing you've ever felt before. It's electric, a vibration in your brain and the pit of your stomach that makes your legs wobble and your knees press together. The first picture is of your body, undisturbed, sleeping on your stomach with your ass in the air. The second is a view from the foot of your bed, your pussy pressed against the sheets and your legs open. The third is of your face, an unfamiliar hand brushing back your hair and an unfamiliar cock resting on your cheek.

Before you can even think you're falling to your knees, masturbating desperately and furiously to those pictures. When you cum it's labored, almost painful, your breath catching in your chest, your moans short and agonized. You manage to stand long enough to take the pictures to your bed, where you're able to scrape together the self-control to edge for about five minutes before you cum for a second time.

The one you can't tear yourself away from his that cock on your face. The knowledge that someone was that close to you without your knowing. Touching you. Pleasuring himself to you. When you cum for the third time, it's to the thought that he didn't rape you, as far as you can tell. That means he intends to come back.

That night you feel like a kid waiting for Santa Clause to come. You toss and turn, too excited to sleep, but terrified that he won't follow through with it if he can tell you're awake. You close your eyes and stay as still as possible. If you can't be asleep, the best you can do is appear asleep.

You wake to sunlight streaming through your window, a little surprised to realize you fell asleep at all. You can feel immediately that something is different; you've been violated, you can feel it in your clit and in your cunt. You hurry to the kitchen and find three new polaroids. The first is a close up of your pussy, already swollen and wet. The second is taken from the same angle, but this time there's a hand in frame, three fingers pushed inside you, stretching you out. The third sends a thrill up your spine. In this picture, a man with a Halloween mask pulled up to his forehead has his head buried between your legs. His face isn't visible from this angle, but it's clear he's eating you out. What really excites you, though, is the out-of-focus smudge in the corner of the shot: you're certain it's the edge of someone's finger. There was a second person in the room with you last night, holding the camera. You wonder if he was there the night before too. You wonder if anyone else has been in your room without you knowing.

When you've cum twice, you're able to think clearly enough to wonder how you managed to sleep through all this. This isn't a cock brushing your face; this is penetration, stretching, clitoral stimulation. That isn't the kind of stuff you sleep through, is it? You get off for a while imagining you really are just that much of a whore, that you can have three fingers inside you and barely notice a thing, but then you spot the cylinder in the corner of the third picture. It's a metal canister, like an oxygen tank, connected at the top to the kind of plastic mask designed to cover your mouth and nose. They drugged you. That's why you didn't wake up. They put you into a deeper sleep so they could do what they wanted with you. Your clit is getting sore at this point, but when you come to this realization you can't help but cum one more time.

In your dreams that night someone is holding you down, kissing you, shoving his tongue down your throat. You're afraid and excited and wet, and you want to scream for help but you can't remember how to speak. Someone is saying something, but the words don't mean anything to you, and the relentless sucking on your clit is making it hard to focus on anything else. You want to moan, to arch your back, to press your legs shut, but your body isn't your own. Maybe you cum. Maybe you don't. It's hard to tell.

You come to slowly, blearily. You become aware of your surroundings one thing at a time, and out of order; first you notice the wetness, then the soreness, then the sunlight behind your closed eyelids. You stretch and rub the sleep out of your eyes, but your hands come away with more than the usual eye grit on them. With a jolt you realize your face is painted with cum, and looking down you can tell that it isn't just your face. There's cum on your tits, on your stomach, even your thighs and feet, and a hand between your legs confirms its inside you too. Hands shaking, you scoop it off your thighs and stomach, trying to get as much as you can into your pussy, fingering it deeper and deeper. You must have really taken a pounding last night, because your pussy is sore and your groin feels bruised, but the feeling of that cum inside you is worth every ounce of pain. You put a few pillows under your ass, trying to keep your hips elevated, keep it from spilling out for as long as possible. You imagine it taking root in your womb, changing your body, making your breasts and belly swell with motherhood. You imagine men you've never seen coming into you home while you're asleep and hungrily drinking your milk, squeezing and sucking so you wake up with your nipples sore. You wish one of them was here to fuck the cum deeper inside you, but you make do with your fingers. This time when you cum it's different. It isn't like the first orgasm of the day. It feels like maybe the fifth time you've cum in the last few hours; barely pleasure at all, just spine-tingling, mind-numbing sensation. Is it possible to cum in your sleep? It feels like it shouldn't be allowed, but you're having trouble thinking straight...

You need to stop touching yourself. You're sore and trembly and weirdly exhausted for someone who just woke up, but you can't stop thinking about those strangers in your bedroom, the cocks that must have been in your cunt and your asshole and your mouth. Your clit throbs, begging your fingers for just one more release. You make a compromise with yourself. You put on some panties to keep too much cum from leaking out, and you go to the kitchen to look at the pictures. But there are no polaroids on the kitchen table. Just a cheap plastic USB drive with your name in permanent marker on the side.

It shouldn't be a surprise that they know your name. They've been in your house, they can obviously find your name on your mail or your computer or your driver's license. But seeing it there in unfamiliar handwriting, one more tiny violation of privacy, makes your clit throb again, as if to remind you of its presence.

The voice of your elementary school librarian echoes in your head as you retrieve your laptop and return to bed. It is profoundly stupid, she reminds you, to plug an unfamiliar drive into your computer. There's no telling what kind of malware it could contain, and that kind of access could allow hackers to take complete control of your computer. But you've already done the most profoundly stupid thing. You've done it repeatedly, in fact, and you're in deep enough now that there may not be any going back. The drive contains a single folder, also with your name on it. The folder is full of pictures and videos, hundreds of them, from different cameras and different perspectives, every angle you could possibly want from the events of last night. Men in rubber masks, too many to count, taking turns raping your lifeless body. Stuffing their cocks down your throat and laughing as you choke reflexively. Squeezing your tits, pinching and biting your nipples. Playing with your pussy, intermittently fucking it and trying to shove ever-larger objects inside it. There's a closeup video of your face as one of the men ejaculates onto it. Another of your pussy as a cock pulls out, allowing a fat glob of cum to collect just at the entrance of your unresponsive hole. The last file in the folder is a .txt file, containing a single line of text: a string of numbers and letters that you recognize.

Right there on the first page of your favorite site is a picture of you, asleep and drenched in cum. Below it is your home address, and a short note:

Found this tasty slut by accident at the above address, just noticed the rapeme in her window and figured I'd come back that night. Good pussy, and she must like what we did to her because she hasn't taken it down yet. Stop by if you're in town; we like a limp body, but I bet she'd put up a nice fight if you'd rather forgo sedatives. Just make sure to gag her lol. don't want the neighbors complaining and ruining our fun. and remember to leave her a souvenir! She especially likes polaroids ; )

By the time you've finished reading you're in a daze. Your eyes can't seem to focus on anything. Your mind can't form a coherent thought. Your clit is no longer asking for your attention; it now demands it. As you begin to pull the panties back down, you notice something: the light next to your laptop camera is on.

You place the laptop on the bed between your legs, and begin stuffing the panties into your cunt.

#cnc drugging #cnc free use #cnc cumdump #rapekink #r@pe fantasy #r@pe kink #cnc somno

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notaplaceofhonour · 2 months

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it’s october 7th. you hear about the attack by seeing people you followed glorifying the terrorist attack—a massacre, a pogrom—as victory & justified resistance, glorifying a terrorist group that was founded with the explicit intent to kill your entire people

you make a post in which you make it clear you support palestinians and oppose the ways israel has wronged them, explaining that the terrorist group is still not good. you know you will probably get some flacc from the pro-Hamas side, but naively underestimate how much.

you get thousands of notifications on that one post, the majority of them hateful comments.

some of the response is positive. multiple messages thank you for the post, expressing bafflement that it’s controversial.

a few Israelis are upset at the loaded language in your post, but explain their problems with it civilly. you called Israel “apartheid”. they ask you what apartheid laws Israel has. you admit you honestly don’t know.

your inbox is flooded with anonymous hate from anti-Israel leftists.

over the course of a few weeks you have received hundreds of death threats, a dozen rape threats. people accuse you of being pro-genocide. you’re a literal Nazi. you’re racist, you thirst for the blood of Palestinians. you’re brainwashed by propaganda, a shill for The Zionist Entity. a few of the hate messages are from literal Neo-Nazis; the overwhelming majority are from leftists, many of them queer.

you are considering suicide.

you see footage of the october 7th attacks. you see footage of the bombings in gaza. you see footage of a Jewish man being murdered at an anti-Israel rally.

a popular creator you follow posts in support of an antisemitic hate group that masquerades as a Jewish organization. this organization regularly posts blood libel and other antisemitic rhetoric, works with groups that are even more explicitly antisemitic, including celebrating October 7th, holocaust inversion, blood libel, “Khazar theory” and others. more than one of the orgs they work with is pro-Putin.

your former roommate liked the post.

graffiti appears on a street you frequent that says “#freepalestine” and “end settler colonialism”

the boyfriend of the friend you spent most of the summer with makes his first post about the war. it’s a reposted comic that mocks and downplays the october 7th attack.

you doubt he’ll be receptive to criticism. he’s shared leftist memes about “monied elites” pulling all the strings and evangelicals being modern day “pharisees” in the past, and getting him to understand why that was antisemitic was like herding cats. you try anyway.

another of his Jewish friends also pushes back. he smugly dismisses her, tells her she’s falling for Zionist propaganda and uses several antisemitic tropes. you go off on him. he just deletes your comment.

you give up. you’re done. you block him.

you see anti-Israel posters and billboards around town

you mention what happened with the guy you went off on to his girlfriend—the friend you’ve grown very close to, who you’ve been listening to as she unburdens her fears for the future and complains about her bf’s BS over the last year. she doesn’t respond to you.

a friend of a friend shares posts tokenizing fringe groups that spread blood libel and have collaborated with holocaust deniers. you know they don’t know what you know, so you explain what those groups are. they seem somewhat receptive, apologize, and take it down

the next day they share several more posts that dip into antisemitic tropes. you mention this to your mutual friend, that you’re worried about them being radicalized. you’re not sure how receptive they’ll be to continued criticism

you have a confrontation with the foaf. in the meantime they’ve shared even more antisemitic posts. they say they didn’t mean to cause you distress but instead of stopping they effectively block you.

the “end settler colonialism” vandalism has been counter-vandalized with the words “commie propaganda” in place of “settler colonialism”. you don’t know if this is an improvement.

a month passes. the friend whose bf you went off on still hasn’t spoken to you. you see she shared a post defending an SJP chapter that posted Nazi cartoon caricatures of Jews repurposed in “Anti-Zionist” memes. you unfriend her on all social media platforms but you can’t bring yourself to block her number.

you see a friend of someone whose couch you surfed when you were homeless harassing Jewish celebrities with “Free Palestine” comments. you block them.

you’ve lost count of how many people you’ve unfollowed or blocked, or who’ve blocked you. friends, content creators.

when a friend takes an unusually long time to respond you worry if it’s because of your posts about antisemitism.

most of the podcasts, youtube channels, and other content creators you regularly engaged with no longer feel safe. you wonder who will be next

a couple friends wish you a happy hanukkah. you don’t celebrate much aside from lighting the hanukkiah and making some latkes.

you see posts about a destroyed chabad menorah, antisemitic comments on Jewish celebrities’ Hanukkah posts.

your neighborhood is covered in pro-Palestine & anti-Israel posters. some are seemingly innocuous, some are JVP “not in our name” posters. some call for intifada. “globalize the intifada” “Zionists fuck off!” “solidarity means attack!”

a man kills himself shouting “free palestine”. you learn about his suicide by seeing posts from several popular accounts you followed glorifying it.

you follow a bunch of jewish accounts on social media and commiserate with them about everything happening

your jewish friends post screenshots of the dead man’s antisemitic, pro-Hamas views. you look at his reddit and find even more horrific shit: anti-Ukraine posts. mocking Zelensky. “elites” are “lizard people”; the only named individual he calls a lizard person is Jewish. you start to notice a pattern: a lot of the people he dislikes just so happen to be jews.

several people you know share a post glorifying this man’s suicide. most are acquaintances, one is someone incredibly important to you.

you wonder how they would respond to your suicide.

you tell the close friend that shared this post how it scares you. you show them the receipts of the man’s antisemitism. their response is a single sentence. they didn’t know about the antisemitism.

they don’t apologize.

you notice none of your irl friends, even your closest ones, interact with your posts about antisemitism. you are able to vent to a couple friends, but no one has reach out to you

you try not to read into it. you try not to take it personally.

you haven’t slept well in months. you’ve always been an insomniac but not like this. you’re not sleeping until 4am, 6am, even 9am. even when you get to bed at a decent hour and get a full night’s rest it takes you hours to get out of bed.

a few weeks go by. the friend with the single sentence response shares a post saying they’re excited and proud to join a group to help palestinians. you’re excited and proud for them.

a couple days later, they share a post about a fundraiser to help a palestinian family get out of gaza. you note to yourself this is a much more effective & less concerning form of activism than the pro-suicidal antisemite post.

your friend shares another post about the fundraiser. it’s a joint post between their group and another group.

you open the other group’s page

the page is just a wall of signs from rallies. you swipe through one after another: “from the river to the sea”, “by any means necessary”, justifying/denying the atrocities of october 7th, calling for violent revolution. anything done in the name of resistance can’t be terrorism, all Israelis are terrorists. Jews aren’t indigenous; they’re white colonizers. holocaust inversion. other vile, thinly veiled violent rhetoric

you feel sick to your stomach imagining talking to your friend about it.

you already feel like you’re burdening the few friends you can talk to about this. you already feel like you think about it too much, talk about it too much. but you can’t not think about it; it affects every aspect of your life.

you’ve filtered out relevant keywords on more than one social media site to avoid the worst of it. some still manages to leak through.

there isn’t a single friend you regularly interact with that you don’t fear the moment when they will switch from listening to your concerns to seeing you as the evil zionist or indoctrinated hasbaranik they’ve been warned about.

it’s not an irrational fear. it keeps happening. you knew it would then, and you were powerless to do anything about it before, and you continue to be as it happens again and again.

you don’t know what to do about any of it.

#idk just kinda wanted to document what this has been like all back to back #I know some of these on their own might come across as not that big of a deal but all together #they add up #tw for the all of it #cw trauma dump #antisemitism #i/p #tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation #tw death threats #tw rape threats #tw october 7th #tw terrorism

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drakulana · 6 days

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no strings attached // trafalgar law x reader

ᯓ★ summary: your situationship with law is on the rocks, what happens when you meet a stranger who looks a little too much like your captain?

ᯓ★ wc: 7.1k (i got carried away...)

ᯓ★ content: NSFW 18+, afab!reader, insecure reader, slightly obsessive law, unestablished relationship, alcohol consumption, pwp, oral (m & f recieving/giving), a little impact play, humiliation, edging, fingering, a little bondage, petnames, cheating (kinda not rlly), p in v, dubcon, safeword mention (not used), no y/n, nice little ending, lmk if i'm missing any!!

ᯓ★ a/n: i'm really excited to post this work. i've been working on it for quite some time. i hope y'all enjoy! (also bear w me, its my first time writing smut & posting it.)

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the relationship between you and law was hardly established, and on the outside looking in, it was a fairly professional one. that being said, it was obvious that he preferred your presence over anyone else’s. you would help him with the things he needed done, the things he couldn’t get around to while he was working endless hours in his office. he would let you sit in his office while he worked, a comfortable silence being shared between you two as you both did your own thing. the relationship itself was very much a professional thing at the beginning. over time though, conversations between the two of you became deeper, and became more frequent. conversations that included things you wouldn’t tell someone in just a professional setting. the sharing of personal experiences and ambitions created a warm, safe environment behind the closed doors of his office. here, the world outside the door was just a little less hard to deal with.

day by day, things between the two of you grew to be more than you had both intended. as things continued to become more intimate, it was only a matter of time before the two of you began to speak about your desires with one another. the conversation started as any other, but quickly got more heated the further it went on. question after question, both of you shared your own sexual experiences, likes, and dislikes. that night one thing led to another, and you two became intimate. sleeping with law was one of the best sexual experiences you had ever had, and the feeling was mutual, because now you were in his bed almost every other night. the relationship grew from strictly professional, to the two of you relieving each others stress at the end of the night. from the start though, it was very clear that there was nothing more than the sex, and in the morning it would go back to the normal, previously professional dynamic. both of you were content with this, and agreed it’d be better overall if this is how it stayed. no strings attached was less complicated, and safer for everyone all around. at least that’s what law was telling himself for the past few months that you two had been messing around.

a few months into your sexual endeavors, the sex became less frequent, maybe once a week on average. law was busy and more distant, and you were trying not to take it personal. you would still sit in his office with him, and do the things he couldn’t get around to. you would help him out with whatever he needed. however by the six month mark, you two hadn’t been intimate in weeks. you had tried to come on to him, to initiate it a few times, but after being turned down you decided he was gonna have to come to you. you knew deep down it wasn’t personal, you knew he was busy. you both agreed to no strings attached when this started. there was no reason to get torn up about it. tonight though, you were in your head, and feeling undesirable. the crew was going out tonight, and you decided you were going to join them this time, rather than sit in law’s office in the silence that you usually would feel comfortable in.

it wasn’t unusual for you to go out with the crew to a bar every now and then, but you hardly ever drank. tonight was different. there was tension growing in your head, and you decided having a couple drinks would aid the dull ache, and unresting thoughts. your third drink in, the muscles in your legs and shoulders had started to relax, giving way to the alcohol. a haze had glossed over your vision, and for a while you didn’t even think about how undesirable you had felt. for the most part of the night, you bonded and laughed with the crew. everyone sharing their own stories and making jokes out of their misfortune around the table while you were all growing increasingly drunk, reminded you of why you even came out tonight. excusing yourself to the bar while shachi shared with the table a story from the past that he told every time he got this drunk, you went to go get your last drink of the night, deciding this is where you cut yourself off.

it was late, probably nearing about 1 in the morning, and you were really drunk. more so than usual. usually by this time you were back at the ship sitting in laws office laughing about all the things that were said between the crew, filling him in on what he had missed. you sat yourself down at the bar and ordered yourself another drink, pushing the thoughts of law out of your mind. you knew another drink was overkill, you were already very inebriated, but you didn't let that stop you. a man around your age had settled next to you. “her next one is on me,” he announced to the bartender. the bartender nodded his head, and slid you the drink. you glanced over at the man. he was fairly attractive. he had dark hair, some facial hair, brooding gray eyes, and was notable in height. he reminded you of your dear captain. the same captain who you had been trying to keep from plaguing your thoughts all night. “thank you,” you smiled at him as you took your drink and sipped it. “what’s your name?” he asked you. you gave him your name as a conversation was struck up. you glanced back at your crew, and they were engulfed in their own conversations, laughing at one another. you turned back to the conversation. the air at the bar was different than it was at the table with your crew. it was calmer up here, although it smelled stronger of alcohol, not that you minded. you could actually hear the tunes playing over speakers, it was an old song, one that you had heard your entire life, “my parents use to play this song all the time,” you had told the man sitting across from you. he smiled at you, “bring back any good memories?” he asked. you sat and you thought for a minute. it had been a while since you thought about your childhood. the life of a pirate usually meant an estrangement from parental figures in your life. there were a few notable memories from your childhood that you could point out, like your mother’s smile. how it would curl upwards, exposing dimpled apple cheeks, or your father’s laughter. it would boom throughout any room, bouncing off windows and picture frames. a sigh left your lips, “yeah, i guess there are a few good ones.”

before you had known it, almost an hour had passed and your ‘last drink of the night,’ had turned into four more. that’s when a question you weren’t expecting fell from the man who had been keeping you company, “do you want to get out of here?” usually the answer would be a fuck no but the alcohol had gone to your head at this point. the question oddly made you think of how undesirable you had felt in the presence of your captain, the same man who had to have been your new stranger friend’s doppelganger. it wasn’t like you to take someone up on an offer like this. you were not a one stand type of gal. tonight was different though. your insecurity was a flame inside of you, and you stupidly tried to put it out with alcohol, ending in it only feeding the fire inside you. you glanced back at your crewmates once again, weighing the options in your head. “why not?” you finally answered grabbing your things and heading out the door with your new friend.

once again, you weren’t one to sleep with strangers. in fact you had thought one night stands were a thing of your past. but here you were, walking into this guys apartment for a quick fuck. you didn’t even know his name, but it was much too late to ask now. you almost felt guilty deep down inside for thinking about sleeping with another man, but there were no strings attached to you and law’s relationship. was it really wrong if there was hardly a relationship out of work and sex? you pushed away your drunken thoughts as the man led you to his bedroom. the apartment was neat, and smelled of wood and a slight cigarette smell. the smell wasn’t comforting like the pine and paper smell of law’s bed. the whole time you were with this guy, you were constantly comparing everything he did to law. he wasn’t as big as him. he wasn’t as gentle with you. his hands were rough as they roamed your body, gripping and groping in places that weren’t particularly pleasant. he didn’t satisfy your needs. the entire time, your captain couldn’t leave your mind. the stranger made you feel dirty. you didn't even finish.

⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹

back at the bar, the crew was getting ready to wrap up their night when the captain walked in. “captain! fancy seeing you here, you decide to drink with us?” shachi and penguin giggled, obviously drunkl. law looked at his crew almost annoyed, immediately noticing that you were not grouped in with them. “i thought (y/n) had come out with you tonight,” he stated, not answering the question that he was asked.

“oh, she did,” someone chimed in. law furrowed his brows, his frown deepening, “well, where is she?” he asked, the tension in his voice growing by the syllable. mumbles of i don’t know’s and i thought she went back to the ship fell from multiple mouths. until someone else spoke up, “i think i saw her leave with some guy about half an hour ago,” bepo piped up, from the middle of the table. he was the only one who seemed to make sense. law tensed at the bear’s statement. “did she now?” he rhetorically asked, but was answered by one of his crew members. “yeah! he looked an awful lot like you too… weird huh?” they giggled. law was very obviously agitated. he felt a vein start to pop in his forehead, and for a second he could’ve sworn he felt betrayed. that was before he had reminded himself that the relationship that you two had was strictly work then sex. he couldn’t feel that way towards you, there was no reason he should. he only saw you as a close friend, right? he mulled over his thoughts before grunting, “tell her to come see me whenever you find her,” and with that he walked out the bar door, returning to the polar tang where he could work in his office alone. he knew that he hadn’t had sex with you in weeks. he knew that you had previously tried to come on to him and he rejected you. what he didn’t know was that you were just going to leave the bar with a stranger.

⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹

back at the strangers apartment, you had come to terms that the sex wasn’t good. you didn’t even cum. by the time the guy was laying down in bed after discarding the condom, you had already gotten dressed and were ready to go out the door. “where are you going?” the guy asked, looking at your shape in his bedroom doorway. “i have places to be,” you muttered walking out of his apartment, and making your way towards the dock. it was now probably about half past two, maybe even three, and you were still very drunk. you doubted your crew was still at the bar. the walk back to the submarine was one filled with shame. you felt dirty, and wished that you weren’t as drunk as you were. every foot fall came with the reminder of your weight, and every other step there was a sway in your posture. the lights glared in your blurred vision, and the thought that you might not make it back without blacking out crossed your mind until you caught a glimpse of what was both your solace, and your demise. the polar tang docked at the port.

as you stepped foot on the ship, drunken guilt consumed you as you passed various crewmates turning into their chambers for the night. you were on your way to shower whenever you ran into bepo. “hey, captain wanted to see you when you have a moment,” the bear told you. on the outside, you had just nodded, but on the inside your heart dropped. you knew that law knew. law always knew. nothing could ever go under his nose like that. you decided you were going to shower before seeing your captain, to try to sober up just a little. besides, you didn’t want to see him with another man’s scent on you, and you wanted to scrub yourself clean.

you thought about the events of the night as the warm water cascaded down your body, soaking your hair. you couldn’t believe what you had done, or why you had done it. you scrubbed until you couldn’t, leaving your skin with a red hue to accompany the self loathe. stepping out of the shower, you hyped yourself up to face your captain, but you were sure you were not going to be able to look him in the face. consumed with guilt and shame, you had dressed yourself in baggy clothes, and made your way to the captain’s chamber.

knocking on the door felt like an unnecessarily hard task. an ache settled between your temples as you urged yourself to just knock. after a few minutes, you finally knocked on the door, awaiting for an answer. there was a shuffle, and then a silence. as soon as you went to turn away, you heard a muted “come in.” turning the handle, you faced reality. the room was dark, other than the small light from law’s desk that illuminated the corner of the room. the familiar comforting scent of pine and paper, with a dash of ink filled your nostrils. for a second you relaxed. that was until you met law’s eyes. he was sitting at his desk, hands folded in front of him. his eyes held a dark glint, making you shiver. you knew that he knew.

“did you have fun tonight?” he asked. his voice bounced off the metallic walls of his chamber, making you feel small. there was a tone to his voice you hadn’t ever heard before, a new bitterness. a bitterness that was aimed towards you, it mixed with something that was almost envious. was that, jealousy? not knowing how to respond, you stood there for a second and let the silence engulf the both of you. it was loud, so loud that ringing set into your ears, amplifying the ache that had started outside the door. finally you answered, “not really,” a sigh escaping your lips as you spoke. your voice came out smaller than you intended. you kicked yourself internally. you thought you sounded weak. inside, law felt his jealousy ease slightly. a small sense of pride rushed to his head at your answer, you were clearly not satisfied with what you had tried to seek out. in a sense, he almost felt as if you deserved the lack of satisfaction. he didn’t understand why you didn’t ask him first, even if he did reject you a couple times. surely, you weren’t so insecure that you wouldn’t ask once more? another silence fell over the two of you as you took your seat in front of his desk. the mountain of papers sat on either side of him as you held eye contact with his. “did you find what you were looking for?” law had asked you, getting up from his chair, making his way over to in front of you. his tall figured towered over you, his shadow casting over you from the illumination of the small desk lamp’s yellow light. you stayed silent, not wanting to answer his question. you felt embarrassed, turning your gaze away from law’s eyes and down to the floor. a heat rose in your cheeks as he stood over you. “you know, when your captain asks you a question, it’s better to answer than to ignore it,” law started, dangerously calm. he lifted your chin up to meet his gaze, “i’ll repeat myself only this once. did you find what you were looking for?”

the tone law had used with you made your head spin. it made your mouth grow dry, and caused you to stumble over your words. it reminded you that no matter what the circumstances were, he was your captain and he held every power over you. “i-um...” you tried to avert your eyes away from his but his grip on your chin never wavered. “no,” you finally were able to spit out. your voice came out small, pathetic, and it surely didn’t help that you were still drunk making them come out slightly slurred. you internally cringed at how you sounded in front of him. law crouched down to your level, now face to face with you. his stared into your eyes, hand moving to the back of your neck, not letting you look away, “and what exactly were you looking for, doll?” he asked you in a low voice. law rarely used pet names for you, every once in a while one would slip in the bedroom, but never in a conversation like this. especially not one you deemed to be a tense one. you opened your mouth, trying to form a sentence. finally, words tumbled out of your mouth, “i-i.. don’t know..” you voice shook, “i’m sorry la-” before you could finish, he cut you off. “address me in the proper manner,” he ordered. for a second you were taken aback, but you quickly fixed your mistake, “i’m sorry, captain.”

“tell me, were you so desperate that you had to go sleep with a stranger?” he lowered his mouth to your ear, tucking a stray strand of hair behind it. his voice was no more than a whisper, but it still held such a dangerous air to it, reminding you that law’s reputation was earned. you didn’t know how to respond to him, truth is you didn’t know why you did it. at the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal with the whole ‘no strings attached’ agreement. you didn’t feel desired by law, and you were getting tired of waiting. you honestly thought he wouldn’t care. however, sitting in front of law made you realize that there were indeed strings attached to this arrangement. you knew he could be possessive, and it was stupid of you to think he would be okay with such a thing. a light kiss below your ear brought you back to reality. law’s hot breath fanned your neck as he lightly nipped, causing a heat to grow in between your legs. “tell me, did he fuck you as good as i do?” a small gasp escaped your lips. “o-of course not, la-” he cut you off, wrapping his hand in your hair and giving it a light tug. “it’s captain to you. that’s the last warning,” he spit through gritted teeth in your ear. he retracted his head and looked you in the eyes, “how about you show me how sorry you are,” with that, law released your hair. for a second you were confused, that was until law was undoing his jeans and pushing you down onto your knees. his long member sprung out of his pants as he pulled them down. he held his cock with one hand, and the back of your head with the other. he held your gaze for a second, silently asking if you wanted this. after a slight nod from you, his grip on your hair tightened. your mouth fell open at the sudden tug at your roots, law took this as an invitation to enter your mouth.

law was hardly a rough lover, but you had also never pissed him off to this extent. his thrusts into your mouth were relentless, drool ran down your mouth as tears began to well in your eyes and fall down your face. it was becoming too much. you clawed and hit into law thighs, but to no avail, there was no stopping his torment on your throat. “what is it? i thought you were desperate?” he spit at you, holding your tear filled gaze, occasionally wiping a tear that ran down your face. this change in demeanor had heat pooling in between your legs, begging for some sort of friction. after what felt like years, law finally pulled out of your tortured throat. you gasped for air, holding onto his legs for support. your head spun, and for a second you could’ve sworn you started to see stars. a large tattooed hand gripped your upper arm, yanking you upwards making you stand on unsteady legs. before you could gain your composure you were bent over his desk, papers falling, and crumpling against you. you were met eye to eye with various pages out of medical journals, pages filled with your captain’s messy handwriting, and lists of numbers that you were too dazed to even comprehend. law’s left hand pushed down on your back, making you arch up into his figure. his right hand traveled down to the seam of your pants, dipping his fingers under ever so slightly. despite how roughly he handled you, he caressed your body with a gentleness no one would think was capable of him. he leaned down to meet your ear once again, moving his left hand up your back, his right inching further down past the elastic band of your pants. the wetness growing in between your legs became an ache. subconsciously, your thighs tried to squeeze together, to get some sort of friction, but law wasn’t gonna let that happen. he slotted a leg in between your two thighs to keep you from giving yourself any type of relief. you fought the urge to grind down on the thigh that he had placed in between yours. that left hand of his traveled from your back to your torso leaving electric pulses in its midst. he moved his hand up your torso, finding your breasts and taking one in his hand. his fingers rolled across the already erected bud eliciting a strangled moan from you. you jolted back into his touch. law let out a hum of approval before whispering into your ear, “did you tremble at his touch like you do for me?” he asked you. you tried to catch your breath to answer, only able to fill your lungs half way before letting out a broken, “no,” law stopped all his movements, depriving you of any pleasure he was providing. “no, what?” he asked you. “no, captain,” you answered him in another struggled breath. another hum of approval came from law. his actions continued.

law pushed his hand further down your waist band, being met with the cotton panties you had slid on after your shower. his hand slid down your ass, grasping at it before moving down to the hem of your panties. you leaned into his touch, hoping he’d give you some relief, but he didn’t. he lightly rubbed your pussy through your panties, not giving enough pressure to actually relieve the ache that was starting to grow unbearable. “captain,” you breathed out, trying to grind down onto his touch, but to avail, he would not let you. law’s hand abandoned your breast, sliding up your chest to grip your throat, “if you want something, beg for it,” he ordered you. his grip on your throat tightened just enough to make your head spin. you gasped a breath, losing balance in your legs. a pathetic whine left your throat, “please, la-,” his grip tightened on your throat causing you to correct yourself, “please, captain. please, touch me,” you choked out. it was almost humiliating how desperate you sounded. law complied with your request. his fingers pressed into your wet core through the dampened fabric, eliciting a moan. he hooked his fingers under the fabric being met with your wetness. the hand around your neck craned your head towards his so he could look you in the eyes. his piercing gold stare met your eyes, “you’re this wet, all for me?” he asked you in an almost mocking tone, “is this what you wanted to achieve? tell me, is this what you wanted, doll?” his gaze never wavered, demanding an answer. the truth was, you didn’t really know the answer. you wanted to feel desired by law, and it was clearer than ever that he definitely desired you. you didn’t know law was going to react this strenuously. you thought it was going to be an argument. in a way, this was what you wanted. you must’ve taken too long to answer, law brought your face closer to his, “answer me,” tears welled in your eyes as you nodded at your captain. he let out a huff before shoving two long fingers into your wet cunt. a moan ripped from your throat as he thrusted into your pussy. jagged breaths, and strangled sniffles wracked your body. “you crying? you wanted this,” he spit at you before letting go of your throat. his fingers pulled out of you, leaving you on edge, a whine leaving you, “tell me you want this,” he demanded you. a vigorous nod came from you, “i want this. this is what i wanted,” you slurred to him. law's hands made their way to your pants, finally pulling them down along with your panties. goosebumps rose to the surface of your skin as the cool air of the ship hit it. you heard a rustling behind you, and then felt law’s thick cock press against your hot core.

your head spun, and your hands grasped at papers. law grabbed your hands, holding them behind his back, mumbling something along the lines of, don’t go messing up all my work now, as if he wasn’t the one who pinned you to the surface. you heard a jingling of a belt, and then felt cool leather wrapping around your wrists. the action was domineering, but his movements were kept sweet. his breath fanned over your ear, making you shiver, “give me a safe word,” he told you as he fastened your arms behind your back. law paused his movements as you tried to gather your thoughts into a single cohesive word. law’s actions had your world spinning, lining your visions with stars. you finally breathed out the word. seconds later, law was back to what he was doing. you struggled from underneath him, as he gathered your wetness on his tip, spreading it over your pussy before pushing the tip in. law sucked in a deep breath, and you let out a moan. his hands pressed against the small of your back as he pushed even further into you. you both simultaneously let out a sigh. neither of you could deny the pleasure of feeling each other, being intimate with each other. it was a short moment, but a sweet reminder that no matter how rough law would get, this place was safe.

law’s hips snapped back before he bottomed out all the way to the hilt, stretching you out. your walls squeezed around him, making his grip tighten on your waist. his fingerprints were sure to leave marks by tomorrow morning. breathy moans fell from your pretty mouth, coating law’s ears with that sweet melody that he had come to love. law’s thrusts sped up, and for a moment his hand left your waist, relieving the building pressure he was putting on your hips. that was until a large tattooed hand came down with a hard smack against your ass. you let out a loud yelp. law shushed you, “you wouldn’t want anyone to hear how much of a slut you are, would you, sweetheart?” he mocked you, “keep quiet,” he ordered you. another smack came down on your other cheek. “count,” he ordered, “that was two,” another smack. stuttered whimpers left your mouth as you tried to form the word that was stuck on your tongue. law cut through your thoughts, “that was three. come on now, doll, don’t make me start over,” he taunted you, his thrusts never stopping. another smack. this time you moaned out the number, “f-four,” it came out slurred, and weak. you could hear law smile, “good girl,” he praised you. he rubbed your ass soothing the sting of his spanks. just when you thought the assault on your ass was done, another came down, this one harder. “f-fiv..” you barely could finish the word. law tutted, thrusting hard into you, stopping once he was fully sheathed inside you, “is that the best you got? can’t take it?” he taunted. his question was met with a moan in response. he leaned over your figure, pressing your stomach into the hard wood of his desk. he thrusts continued once again, his hands back to soothing the skin on your ass. another smack, “s-ix,” you choked out, as a sadistic laugh left law’s lips. law brushed your hair over your shoulder, pulling up your shirt to expose your back. as fast as the cold air hit your skin, law was pressing warm wet kisses down your back, biting at your shoulder blades. long skilled fingers, massaged the muscles on your lower back, all while maintaining the arch he had you in. it wasn’t long before law’s thrusts started to get sloppy, his hand tangling into your hair, knuckles pressing into your scalp. your moans mixed with his grunts, filling the room with sinful sounds. you were just about to reach your climax, the white hot ball that was growing within you was finally starting to unravel when law pulled out of you. a whine left your lips in protest, but law pulled you upright by your arm. he pulled you close to him, “i’m not done with you, yet,” he told you.

he lead you over to his bed, sitting you down on the plush surface of his bed. law kneeled down in front of you, pulling you to the edge of his mattress. he spread your legs, exposing your wet core to his room. law took in the sight of you from between your legs. your hair was a mess, your face was red, and your eyes were fogged over with lust. your body trembled with every breath you took. for a second, law almost felt bad for going so hard on you. that was, until he had remembered what you had done. you were his. you needed to know that, and he was going to make sure that you knew that by the end of this night. he would make sure you would have no desire to ever try to be intimate with another man other than him. law was a possessive man. he was protective over the things that he cherished. some would even go as far as to call him downright obsessive. he wasn’t spoiled, but he would see through that he would get this one thing that he wanted, and right now that one thing was you.

law held eye contact with you from between your thighs. sweet kisses were pressed into your thighs. hums of contentment left you, and those sweet kisses turned into nipping and biting at the sensitive skin. law started to suckle on the skin, leaving red and purple hickeys to mark you. he would make sure from now on to leave at least one, so others who tried knew who you belonged to. the bites soon turned back into kisses, as he made his way closer to your dripping core. law looked back up at you as he let his tongue connect with your wet slit. he moaned into you, lapping up the sweet wetness that gathered at your entrance dipping his tongue in ever so slightly. law’s tongue traveled up to your clit, flicking at it resulting in your hips jolting up. the more law ate your pussy, the more you wiggled around until law had finally had enough. law took one of his arms pinning your hips down to the bed, muttering a ‘stay still.’ you obeyed. he went back to work on you with that merciless tongue of his, suckling and licking at your clit, traveling down ever so often to just ever so briefly fuck you with his tongue. you felt fingers start to run up your thighs slowly, eliciting sweet sighs and moans from your mouth, that melody that law would never get tired of.

the tips of his fingers traced their way all the way to your dripping hole. his tattooed finger slid into you, smoothly, squelching the wetness against the knuckle, “so wet,” law whispered, more to himself than anything. he was always enamored by your pussy. he would spend hours in between your legs if he had the time. he loved touching you, working his fingers and his tongue on you, seeing what different reactions he could get out of you. where your favorite and least places to be touched were. he took pride in making you feel good. in fact, if he weren’t so mad right now, he’d probably spend all night in between your legs, but to him, you didn’t deserve that. you didn’t deserve the undying affection he wanted to give your pussy. however that thought did not stop him from sinking in a second finger, or from taking your clit in his mouth, rolling it against his tongue, spelling his name as if it were some kind of chant to claim you as his.

your chest rose and fell at a fast rate. you were practically heaving for air. law loved having this effect on you. leaving you all breathless, and undone beneath his lips. he felt your walls clench around his fingers, your moans started to get shorter, and more close together, he knew that you were about to come completely undone. law decided he’d let you get to the very edge, make you think he was going to let you cum, but you didn’t really deserve that just yet, did you? he had to make sure that you knew that he was the only one who could demand and deny something like that to you. so he stopped. he pulled his fingers out of your pussy, your juices leaving them sticky and shining. he pulled his mouth away from your clit, leaving you a writhing whimpering mess. he shoved the slick covered fingers into your mouth, muffing your protests, “you will cum when i say so, understand that?” he asked you. you nodded around his fingers, causing a small twisted smile to grace his lips for just a second

he undressed himself the rest of the way, crawling onto the bed next to you, laying on his back. he grabbed your arm, pulling you over to his lap. “ride me,” he ordered you. you breathed shakily. as you positioned yourself above his member. law held a hand on your hip, helping you guide down onto him slowly. your breath hitched as you slowly slid down onto his cock. law was big. you knew that, but he seemed to always feel a few inches bigger whenever you rode him. you slid all the way down, your pelvises kissing. a deep groan fell from law’s mouth. you could listen to him make those sounds all day, if he’d let you. you slowly started to bounce on top of him, your arms still tied tight behind your back. your thrusts were sloppy, each one making another moan fall from law’s mouth. his hands gripped at your hips, guiding your hips in a more calculated way. law was a control freak, even in bed. “c’mon, is that the best you got?” he said to you, his tone demeaning and mocking. it was hard to balance when you had nothing to hold up your body. you wanted to fall forward, against law, but he held you in place. your eyes squeezed shut as you bounced up and down, law’s hand guiding you. his grip on you was hard, guaranteed to leave bruises in the shape of his fingerprints tomorrow morning. your movements were unusually uncoordinated, and it frustrated you. a huff left your mouth, as you struggled to clean up your movements against him. law noticed this, “no need to get upset, baby. just do it right,” he taunted you. law would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying watching you struggle. getting all frustrated at not being able to preform the way you wanted. this went on for a few more minutes until law had finally decided to grant you some form of mercy.

law pulled you off of him flipping you onto your hands and knees, your face smushing down onto his pillow. you arched your back, presenting your core to him. law admired the sight in front of him. the soft yellow glow of the bedside table lamp illuminated just enough for him to see the slickness dripping from your folds. he had never seen you in such a desperately needy state. part of him was rushed with pride. he made you this way, helpless and needy, all for him. the other part of him still panged with jealousy. he even felt a small trace of betrayal in the whirlwind of emotions consuming him. he let that drive him. that's what drove him to degrade you down to nothing but a whining mess. it was strange, a woman who held herself with so much conviction, groveling beneath him. it was interesting to him, how much power he actually wielded over you in this moment. it wasn't right him feeling this way, he knew that, but he couldn't find it in him to give you any mercy. a quiet and low sadistic chuckle left his lips as he traced the shape of you. his hands leaving warm trails over your body. you relaxed for a minute before one of his fingers had dipped itself into your wetness. a quiet moan left your lips, only to be replaced with a whine as he pulled his hands away from your body.

law sat back on his heels, admiring you in this position. you truly were beautiful. even all restrained, and begging to be touched, you were beautiful. law couldn't fathom why he had even let you slip through his fingers in the first place. he never thought that you'd ever try to leave him. he understood why you did, but he never thought you'd do it. he swore he would never let you even try to leave him again. he would never give you a reason to, and if you tried he'd carve your pretty little heart out of your chest, and put it in a glass jar, just for him. he would put it on the edge of his desk, so he could watch it beat just for him. for now though, he would have to remind you that you belonged to him. tender hands undid the restraints around your wrist, rubbing at the freshly raw skin. his hands left your wrists, letting them fall to support yourself. his hands guided along every curve and divot in your body, leaving a warm sensation where his fingers trailed over your body. “so beautiful,” he whispered, more to himself, “and all mine,” he leaned down trailing kisses down your spine, and down to your ass. all the sweet, and tender touches were all halted with a harsh bite to your asscheek. a yelp left your lips, and an amused huff left laws lips as he retracted back, satisfied with the mark he had left on you. he turned you over to your back to he could gaze down into those pretty glistening eyes of yours. he leaned down, bringing you into a passionate kiss, before trailing his way down your neck and chest, leaving love bites in the midst of his teeth and tongue. “all mine,” he whispered once more, locking eyes with you, “who’s is this?” he beckoned you, almost mockingly. the word left your mouth without thought, “yours.” law was satisfied with this answer, propping himself up above you. he lined his cock up with your entrance, holding your hips up in just the right angle, before pushing back into you.

being inside you was pure ecstasy. it brought on emotions that law had never felt before. it made his head spin, and his cock twitch. you tightened around him, and he knew you couldn’t last much longer with how many times you had been denied. law felt his climax start to build, “you wanna cum?” he asked you. your arms wrapped around laws shoulders, nails digging into his shoulder blades, “yes, please captain, please,” you cried out. law’s thrusts were now sloppy, and his grip on you was tighter than it had been the entire night, “cum for me,” he breathed. the hot white fire started to finally unravel within your stomach. your slick walls tightened around him, pulling him in, milking his cock. your head spun, and stars collided with one another. both you and law's moans mixed filling the room with sinful sound. a few more strokes, and law was burying his seed deep inside you.

law collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms. his hands found their way into your hair, running his fingers through your tangled strands. your head laid on his chest, your eyes closing, welcoming the blackness of exhaustion. before you drifted off, a few words that left law speechless fell from your mouth. “i love you, law,” your voice was soft and sweet, and if it wasn’t so silent in his room, he would have missed it. he looked down at you. your eyelashes were now resting against your cheeks, and your cheeks had a rosy hue to them as your breathing leveled out. law had so many things he wanted to say to you, to confess to you. his tongue twitched to respond, but instead he pulled you tighter against him, deciding that conversation was better suited tomorrow morning when you were both well rested. for tonight though, law was going to relish in those words and let them replay in his mind, counting them like makeshift sheep as he fell asleep with you in his arms.

⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹

@drakulana 2024 // i do not give permission to copy, translate, or repost, any of my content without my consent

taglist: @shuujin , @pinksaiyans , @buttmishaaaa, @tokaio, @augustanna, @sukilovesyou, @mschoiyuki, @songinabottle , @starlightanyaaa, @elen-alambil, @theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction

#trafalgar law #law x reader #trafalgar d water law #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece fan fic #one piece fan fiction #trafalgar law smut #law smut #one piece smut #it took me two months to write this i am so proud of this piece #i hope u all enjoy it

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ot3 · 11 months

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The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere

What is it, and why you should read it.

(Art by purple)

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere is a currently updating webserial by author Lurina. It's one of my favorite things I've read in a long while and I'd like to convince you all to give it a chance.

My elevator pitch is this: A time-loop murder mystery directly inspired by Umineko, with a lot of similar vibes to the Locked Tomb Trilogy - partially due to it's meditations on grief and mortality and partially due to it's far-future magical sci-fi world where we follow a fucked up lesbian necromancer on a task she is determined to see through to the end. A deeply complex, unique, and believable world that plays hosts to one of the best interpersonal dynamics I've read.

In a future so far-flung that it is past the heat death of the universe, humanity has constructed a new society that is post-scarcity but not post-stratification. Utsushikome of Fusai is one amongst a class of prodigious young medical arcanists (essentially grad students) who are invited to visit a recently legitimized conclave of top-of-the-line researchers studying immortality. Accompanying Su is her best friend Ran, a fellow arcanist. Over the course of the novel we begin to slowly unravel exactly what ulterior motives have brought them to this conclave and how events in their childhoods and years of working toward their shared goal has warped their relationship into what we now see. This relationship is the crown jewel of Flower's narrative, and getting to peel back the layers of it as you read is a delight.

Like Umineko, Flower is a murder mystery that prevents itself with in-universe Rules that dictate the murders' parameters, meaning there's a lot to chew on for anyone who likes solving mysteries. For those that don't, like myself, Flower offers instead a richly developed world and plenty of open questions about the sociopolitical and metaphysical implications of its own worldbuilding.

Below the cut, I'll go into more detail about the series (without spoilers!) for those of you whose interest has been piqued.

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere is currently ongoing, updating every few weeks. It's several hundred thousand words, so if you're looking for something substantial to keep you entertained, you've got it. As you might expect from the length, the pacing is decently slow. I don't see this as a bad thing at all, because within this pacing Lurina dripfeeds the readers enough new and interesting information at a regular rate that it never feels like your time is being wasted. But if you can't handle slow burns, I wouldn't recommend this one for you.

If you enjoyed the Zero Escape series and liked that they stopped solving murder puzzles to infodump about fringe science, I think you'll get a lot out of Flower. Characters are frequently interrupting their life-or-death scenarios to have lofty, philosophical and political discussions. It's a ton of fun if you like reading characters argue.

'People have to sleep.' 'People have to work.' 'People have to die.' But those were just vague rules, phrasing I'd used because it had been easier in the context of that conversation. What really mattered, on the day-to-day level, was the idea that it was all for something. If someone invented a elixir that made people not to need to sleep, it would, in retrospect, recontextualize all nights everyone ever wasted sleeping as wastes of time. Not something that occurred for some inherent purpose, but whims of circumstance, a tragedy of when you happened to be born. If you accepted that all unfair things in the world could be removed, if only someone knew how - fatigue, labor, death - then to exist in the world we had now, with all its grotesque imperfections, was to know that you had been violated by fate.

Along those lines it's just got a sense of humor I really enjoy. Pretty dry and cavalier. It manages to keep the mood light without feeling like it's undermining it's own stakes. I'm particularly fond of Su's penchant for telling incredibly depressing suicide jokes that just Do Not Land.

The peer pressure cut into me like a hot knife. I hesitated a little, biting my lip. "Well, uh, okay. I'll just tell a quick one." I swallowed, my mind quickly scrambling. "Okay, so, there's a woman who runs a dispensary for second hand goods. She sees a man come in who's a regular customer. He's kind of a mess-- Has a big beard, a bad complexion. He buys a razor, and tells her he needs it to clean himself up, because he has a date." I could see that I now had Ophelia's attention and that Kam was looking pleased with herself, but Ran was watching me, too. I could see the look in her eyes. It screamed at me, with such vividity that it could be sold at an art gallery: You better not be telling a suicide joke right now, or we're going to have a talk. But it was too late. The wheels were already in motion.

As I mentioned up top, the relationship between Ran and Su is just one of my favorite interpersonal dynamics ever. Period. The author is playing some insanely complicated 5th dimensional yuri chess and I am absolutely here for it as someone who likes characters who are deeply devoted to each other in a way that is deeply deeply fraught. I cant emphasize enough how obsessed I am with what they have going on.

Additionally, as stated, the worldbuilding in Flower is top tier. The author clearly understands how every part of her world functions, which makes the moral quandaries and politics presented all the more impactful because they're very believable. It's hard to talk about Flower's world without spoiling too much of the specifics that get slowly revealed, but it doesn't fall back on any typical sci-fi standard fare and feels like a breath of fresh air amongst recycled and repetitive worldbuilding tropes.

A lot of really fun side characters. Strong voices for all of the supporting cast (♥♥Kamrusepa♥♥) and even though not every character gets their own arc, they all clearly have plenty of interiority. Once again, another thing that makes Flower feel very believable despite it's absurdities.

Autism

"Did you notice anything out of the ordinary with anyone?" She eyed him. "Anyone who seemed tense?" "Saoite, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but half of our class is so autistic that they constantly seem tense. You might as well ask me to find a specific turd in a sewer." "Just answer the question, please," she replied flatly.

Guys it's really good just trust me I don't want to spoil you for the more intricate plot beats but they're doing some crazy shit here. It's never a bad time to support an independent author's project. If you're sick of corporate mass-media and stuff needing to be marketable, getting into independent works owned and supported by individual creators is a great way to push back against that. I highly recommend it.

#media recs #the flower that bloomed nowhere

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i-drop-level-one-loot · 9 months

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Smile❤️ (Yandere X Loser!Reader)

Micky thought that he couldn't feel love.

Ever since he could remember, Micky couldn't connect with anyone on an emotional level. Even his own family members were like aliens to him, creatures that stretched their lips into strange contortions, ETs that became unreasonable when he wouldn't do the same. As a teenager many girls flirted with him in school, hell, a few guys did as well, but none of their confessions ever stirred any emotion from him, even at the height of his puberty. The smiles of the people around him never felt warm or welcoming. Just, tight. Cheeks pulled back, revealing teeth, expecting him to mirror their action, and Micky couldn't understand why.

Nothing made him smile.

College was further isolating. Group projects seemed to no longer be a thing, (at least in the classes he took) so his interactions with humans slowly became less frequent, making his classmates look more inhuman and monstrous.

Until someone in his college was doxxed for being a creep. It was interesting, watching how quickly people turned on their friend, forcing him into an outcast because someone online revealed his private post history.

An annoying young woman in his language arts class gathered people around Micky's seat to talk about what had happened. Micky wouldn't have searched up the drama on his own time, but he didn't see the point in pushing everyone away.

"This user on Xforums, anonymousXnightmare is the one who doxxed Nathan."

AnonymousXnightmare? How fucking lame.

"That's a lame username..."

"Maybe it's a kid..?"

Micky did his best to ignore them, but the username kept popping up in conversation throughout campus. It was getting a little annoying. Some people were mocking the name, while others were praising the "internet hero". It started interfering with his ability to focus in his classes.

But the gossip cooled down after a week, and life began to run as normal, until another student had their life ruined. A football player, they didn't post anything incriminating or disturbing. It was anonymousXnightmare who posted their own collected evidence. Pictures taken from afar of the player with his highschool sweetheart, as in sweetheart who was still in highschool. Recordings of the two of them. Months of stalking all compiled by the stranger.

Again, Micky was bombarded by chatter, excitable young adults losing their minds over the situation. It was... irritating.

Back in his dorm room, Micky was scrolling through Xforums, the most popular forum used by students in his university, made by students for students, searching for the loser with the lame username. Scrolling past the photos he had heard about, he found a post stating

"Dear Allen Brackens, if you cannot stop blasting your shitty music in the halls on your shitty speakers, I WILL ruin your life!"

and Micky had to lean back, to just take in what he had read. That must have been the name of the football player. What he was doing was genuinely gross, and should have been exposed by someone. But did this poster really stalk them for what looked like months just because he listened to music they didn't like?

It was so dumb.

He scrolled down farther into the mystery poster's history, to the first man they doxxed.

"Dear Nathan McAllister, we all know you're a two faced little bitch. Either stop littering the campus with your Jesus pamphlets, or else..."

Micky, for the first time in his life, was amused. The whole situation was so stupid. They really ruined their fellow students lives, just because they annoyed them?

He made an account just to follow his mystery poster, not sure yet why he was interested to see what they would post next.

Less than two days later, and Micky's phone notified him of another post.

"Dear Samantha Rudbeckia, your obnoxious laughter is driving me insane. Can't you see how annoying you are? Knock it off."

That was it?! That was enough to set you off? Laughter? Micky paused mid step, still staring down at his phone. Something felt off about his face. It hurt.

It was pretty easy to find anonymousXnightmare in his school. Micky picked up a map of the university, and mapped out the paths of the three people targeted. They ran into a lot of different students throughout their day. But they only ran into a couple of people who openly seemed to hate them, and only one of those people was a student named (Reader). (Reader), who constantly appeared as though they would collapse at any moment, the hollows under their eyes so dark they looked sickly. (Reader), who despite being borderline anemic, was very sneaky, and very good and being unnoticeable despite their extreme appearance. Unfortunately for them, they had someone watching them as closely as they watched their victims bullies. Micky watched as they stealthily snapped photos of students from around corners, how they seemed to blend into the background and nobody noticed them hiding in waiting.

Micky felt ashamed for ever thinking you were lame. You were.. cute.

The way you crouched like a bug, hunched over like a roly poly scared of being picked up. The way you bit your dry lips in anger to the point they bled.

Micky's face hurt more and more. Every time he saw (Reader) a pain he had never felt before would strain at his cheeks, and his face would feel hot all over. It wasn't until he caught a glimpse of himself in his reflection in a window that Micky realized he was smiling. He never knew that smiling hurt. But he couldn't stop it.

Pictures and videos of Samantha and her married professor were posted online, and Micky was excited to know what (Reader's) face would look like when they reaped the fruits of their labor. But when he snuck into their classroom, zooming in on their exhausted face with his phone's camera, he felt a new emotion seeing that (Reader) was just as annoyed as they always were. A hard pit fell from his ribs into his lower stomach. He was disappointed.

Why aren't you happy? You won. You should be rejoicing right now.

He felt conflicted and confused. Like an octopus was throwing a tantrum in his abdomen, squirming uncomfortably. And it ruined his day. Micky couldn't focus on any of his classes, and the rest of his day was like a foggy dream. What was it about (Reader) that attracted him to them so much?

A cute young woman with smooth black hair approached Micky, a dark blush complimenting her picture perfect face.

"Um, excuse me? Excuse me? Excuse me?"

Micky snapped out of his thoughts, turning his gaze down towards the beautiful person. Her rosey lips were slightly upturned in a posed way.

She's smiling.

Micky internally verbalized it. The same way he did whenever he saw anyone smiling. It never looked good. Smiling was so awkward, and strange. People loved seeing others smiling, and smiled when they were happy, but it always reminded Micky of how not one of them he was.

"Hi! My name is Maggie."

I don't care.

"We have econ together?"

"Okay."

Why was seeing her smile make her look fake, inhuman, alien? Just like everyone else. Then why was Micky so let down seeing (Reader's) lukewarm reaction to their victory?

"I was wondering, I mean, (laughs), a group of us are going out for drinks later, and we, I was wondering if you wanted to come with us.."

She giggled nervously, fiddling her fingers and biting her lip. The image of (Reader) practically eating their lower lip was triggered like a trap. This woman, whose name wasn't worth remembering, made Micky feel nothing. The uncanny feeling of speaking with a living mannequin or an advanced AI. Her movements weren't natural, her smile was just a contraction of muscles. Then, like an epiphany, Micky realized all at once what made (Reader) so special.

Maybe, it wasn't that everyone else was alien, but Micky. Micky was the only one who never fit in. The only one who didn't feel emotions or connect with others like everyone else could. And there was a bug walking around in human clothes, barely staying awake in class and casually ruining peoples' lives simply because they annoyed them. (Reader) wasn't a human either, just like Micky. That's why they didn't seem happy with their victory. Why would a human bring them joy?

Micky's lips pulled tight, smiling brightly at the young woman before walking away without saying a word.

You're the first person to make me feel, because you're just like me. Right, (Reader)? If no one but you can make me feel, then no one but me should be able to make you smile!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

(Reader) slouched over their laptop, their messy hair pulled back in a top bun just to keep their untrimmed bangs out of their eyes in the privacy of their dorm, eating another cup of noodle while reading all of their "fan mail". Samantha wasn't getting kicked out like they had hoped, but Professor what's-his-nuts did get canned, so hopefully when Samantha comes back to class she'll be too busy sobbing "woe is me" to find anything funny.

Ba-ding♪

A private message popped up from an account with an automated username.

(Reader) snorted so hard a noodle went up into their sinuses.

user01793664544001: I know who you are <3

"Ah-ow! God damn!"

anonymousXnightmare: Who the fuck is this?

user01793664544001: ur prince charming <3

anonymousXnightmare: Don't fuck with me

user01793664544001: come find me

"Watch me, bitch."

Looking up IP addresses is a lot easier than people make it seem. It doesn't take a genius hacker to doxx someone. Of course, (Reader) goes above and beyond, often following assholes for months to collect evidence of their douche baggery. (Reader) got an address in less time than it took to finish their noodles, and took down their hair, quickly setting out to start getting information on their newest "bully".

The address took them to another dorm across campus. How dumb are they? (Reader) faux chuckled, feeling superior to this newest dick. No one was quite as smart as them.

As they crept through the building, no one payed them any attention as they began taking notes on the residents. It had to be one of these losers.

They didn't have a chance to fight back, as they passed one of the rooms the door opened and pulled them inside faster than they had a chance to scream. The man who abducted (Reader) wrestled them to the floor, panting heavily.

(Reader) glared up at the handsome stranger, smiling down at them in a creepy way, his cheeks twitching like he had never smiled before, like his face hurt from the small action. His face was pink and he was sweating, panting with a feverish moisture glazing his eyes.

"Aren't you happy? You found me~"

"G-Get off of me, you pervert!" (Reader) attempted to kick the kidnapper off of them.

This wasn't the answer he was looking for. His smile fell briefly before bouncing back.

"You're just upset because you don't know me yet. Don't worry, it took me a while to realize you and I were the same species as well, so don't worry. I'll wait, I'll wait for you to realize you love me too..."

He rambled quickly, pressing harder against (Reader's) body. A strange noise squeaked out of his throat as he seemed startled, (Reader) feeling a bulge form against their upper thigh.

"Ah, I'll wait.. I'll wait for you to love me too.. but I need you to do something for me while I wait.."

Micky stuck his fingers in (Reader's) mouth, pulling their dry lips out till they bled across his skin.

"Smile for me..."

#yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere x darling #yandere #pathetic loser #loser reader #tw stalking #bully reader #yandere fanfiction #gender neutral reader #romance #not proofread

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tkaulitzlvr · 7 months

Text

SORRY - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: you were drinking your sorrows away after yours and tom’s breakup, receiving unwanted attention at the random club you are at, until the last person you expected to see comes to your rescue.

content: angst + smut

a/n: again pulled this out of my ass this is becoming a very common theme LOL. this isn’t what i wanted to post but it’s been a week since i last put anything out so i threw it together, def not my best work and i feel like all i write is angst to smut whoops, hope u all enjoy anyway and thank u for 500 followers!!

the alcohol soon takes over as i down another shot, the liquid burns my throat and only fuels my recklessness. not that i mind, in fact, it is exactly what i need. tonight i don’t want to feel - tired of the everlasting burden of my emotions. i want to be numb, nothing but an empty vessel, letting the alcohol lead the way opposed to my diseased mind. music blares through the speakers, probably loud enough to cause some serious damage to my eardrums. but i don’t know how long i have been at this club for, though it is long enough for my hearing to become accustomed to the thick bass pulsating through my body, no longer wincing whenever i would near the speakers.

intoxicated bodies encircle me whilst i make my way to the centre, some just like me - alone and drinking away their self pity. others dance with their friends, slurred giggles leaving their lips as they sloppily sway their hips to the music, covered in nothing besides their skimpy dresses. those that i envy don’t dance alone, but with a man beside them, hands on their body, faces inches apart. they are able to focus on the one person in front of them, tuning out the hundreds of people surrounding them. but, each person that i see all have one thing in common - they fit in. and i want that too, so bad, instead of feeling so misplaced - that feeling ripe within me, apparent ever since he left.

everyone knew about tom and i’s breakup, hell, how could they not? ‘germany’s biggest heartthrob - tokio hotel guitarist tom kaulitz, parts with model girlfriend after two years!’ - that’s a headline most reporters dream of, christmas having come early for them when the news came out. and it spread like wildfire, his fans - who were particularly notorious for not being entirely fond of tom finding a long term girlfriend - had hit the jackpot. they speculated, some saying that i cheated on him, some insistent on me being too controlling - others even going as far as to say i made him choose between me and the band. but when it came down to it, they were just rumours, plain and simple. no one is aware of the true reasoning behind it - only the two of us knew why we parted.

it was a mutual agreement, yet tom was the one that initiated it. the distance inevitably put between us as a result of him travelling on tours, from continent to continent, state to state, meant that we rarely saw each other, this putting stress on the both of us. i wanted us to work, more than anything, yet the way we drifted apart from each other made it impossible, being with him feeling like a chore as every small disagreement would blow way out of proportion, usually fixed by sex, the cycle repeating for the last few weeks of our relationship, until it reached breaking point. and i didn’t want to be used for my body, though i knew deep down tom loved me for more than that, fixing our problems with physical intimacy was only a temporary solution - leading to us parting ways.

that was one reason for our breakup, however the other was far more serious, and tom wasn’t even aware of it - but i had been speculating for a while. with his frequent travelling, i knew that i wasn’t the only girl in his life. how could i have been? he would go without seeing me for weeks, and whilst he had changed past his womanising ways, it would be stupidly naïve of me to think that he had moved on from that lifestyle completely. or perhaps my mind was tricking me, the loneliness i was often left to increasing the paranoia. though he had never explicitly given me the impression he was cheating, the thought always nagged in my mind, making the breakup slightly easier once he announced that we were no longer working. he promised that he still loved me, that maybe in the future things would work out, but i knew that was just a way to make our separation less bitter.

the constant articles, pictures, videos, and speculations of tom with other women each week lead me to the present, drinking my sorrows away a month after our breakup, wishing that i had never let him go despite agreeing that us parting ways would be the best solution. i was tired too, sick of fighting for a relationship that was no longer there. sometimes it felt utterly one sided, like i was the only one willing to try. tom refused to admit this, reminding me that "i know how much he loves me". however we just didn’t work anymore, his claims of our love like empty spews of desperation, but any words uttered from his beautiful mouth were words of truth to me, until i came to the soul-crushing realisation that he doesn’t adore me the way he did when we first met, all those years ago.

but god, every time i see pictures of him with a girl that isn't me, my heart wrenches at the sight, slowly tearing my insides apart as i recognise letting him go as my deepest regret. and the anger at not only myself, but him for leaving me eats me up, alcohol and temporary fixes being the only thing that can put my ill mind at ease.

but tonight tom isn’t on my mind. i’m desperate, longing for the touch of anyone who will give me the attention. that is why i left the house wearing nothing but a tight black dress that barely passed my mid-thighs. tom would never let me leave the house in such an outfit alone. he was always over-protective over me, loving the idea that I was his and only his. however he had left me, and i don’t care how promiscuous i appear, because admittedly, i am more needy than ever. my body running way ahead of my mind, i move sloppily to the rhythm of the music, feeling two hands grab my waist gently, pulling me into them as i turn around, seeing a tall-ish guy with fluffy blonde hair smirking down me.

he wasn’t tom. he could never be tom. nobody could. not a single person on this earth could even come close to him, could make me feel the way he did, both mentally and physically. right now it doesn’t matter, i don’t care who he is, because, on the surface, he is a male giving me attention, something which i have craved over this last month of loneliness.

"hi there." I utter drunkenly, slurring my words and backing further into him, the alcohol sinking more and more into my system as i no longer care who is dancing with me, this being the first time i have experienced physical touch since tom. and oh god how i’ve missed it. i’m a mess; a desperate, foolish fucking mess. if tom could see me right now, he wouldn’t recognise me. hell, i don't even know who i am anymore - in all honesty i had lost every part of what i thought i was the second he had walked out of the door. somehow, through the alcohol and attractive man behind me, tom is all my mind can focus on - his body the only clear image in there, beyond the fuzziness from the alcohol. i utterly despise the way he has such an effect on me, knowing that he has already gotten over our relationship despite the years we spent together, even before we had started dating, we had been close friends. using all the strength within me, i drown out every thought of him, attempting to enjoy the bitter-sweet freedom and get over him.

"what's your name beautiful?" the mysterious guy shouts over the crowd, tightening his grip on my waist.

"doesn’t matter." i reply. honestly, it didn’t - i probably won’t see this guy ever again, not after fucking him anyway. in any other circumstance, i would be scolding myself for giving myself up so easily, selling myself like some cheap slut. now though, i’m no longer myself, turning to face him, latching my arms around his neck. "what's yours?"

"alex." he responds, clearly not looking to make conversation, his dick appearing to be doing all the talking. "do you wanna get out of here?" he signals to the door, my head nodding eagerly in response, craving for any intimate moment no matter who it is with. part of me convinces myself that i am with tom, that it is him i am leaving the club with, as i would every single time. i imagine that it is him holding me with such adoration, that it is him soothing me in every way possible, yet i know that he is never coming back.

my body pushes its way through the crowd, uttering broken excuse me’s as i walk by, legs becoming weaker by the second as my vision slowly blurs. i soon pick up on the reality of the situation, disgust and shame echoing within me as i realise how fucked up my mind truly is. i am about to have sex with a guy who I have never met before - whether or not tom had broken my heart, i deserved to have morals. the rationality ticking in by the second, i roughly pull out of alex's grasp, his tall frame turning around in confusion.

"i- i have to get to my friends." i lie, totally aware that i came here alone, my words barely audible as my breathing becomes uneven.

"no, come with me, don't be like this baby." he smiles, pulling me along with him, tears soon clouding my vision as the chances of me escaping the situation seem to slip through my fingers before i can gather any sense of what is happening.

"let me go!" i muster all the courage and strength within me and yank my arm away, stumbling backwards into the cold brick wall behind me, the harshness causing me to shiver as i bite the inside of my mouth, praying for something, anything, to take me out of this situation. alex nears towards me, our faces inches apart as he towers over me, my body weak and defenceless against his.

"stop being such a bratty fucking bitch and just come with me-" he begins, grabbing ahold of my arm, only to be pushed to the floor in a matter of seconds, my head looking upwards in confusion to be met with a face i dreaded and longed to see at the same time.

"fuck off!" tom begins, squaring up to alex, who is useless against him, the height difference almost humorous. if i hadn’t been scared for my life seconds prior, i probably would’ve laughed, though the only thing i am truly able to process is the confusion that soon replaces any fear within me. "you ever go near my girl again and i'll break your fucking jaw. you understand, hm?" he shouts, alex smiling to himself and walking away, clearly not looking for a fight, though his cold glare moments ago said otherwise. his girl. i am everything but, closer to being the complete opposite, though i am too startled to consider questioning his words right now.

my body refuses to move, paralysed in utter shock, wondering whether the alcohol is causing me to hallucinate. i hadn’t seen tom since the day i moved out of his house, and now he is standing in front of me. and fuck, he looks good. it doesn’t matter that it has only been a month, somehow he seems to look much better, and undeniably different. his hair, usually a dark shade of blonde, the thick locks tied into a ponytail, adorned with whatever cap matched his outfit, is changed, almost so drastically it is hard to recognise him. instead, jet black braids rest on his shoulders, the colour mirroring his entire outfit - dark and cold. his cap is replaced with a small bandana, fitted securely around his forehead, the silver piercing on his lips now just as dark as his hair, matte black, making the soft shade of pink on his lips stand out even more.

though his new look is certainly a shock, the more daunting realisation comes merely from his presence. he is here - standing inches away from me. i am unable to gauge his next move, his expression still just as harsh as it had been once he had threatened that guy. however, any doubts i have are quickly put to bed, his tensed frame nearing mine, planting a calloused hand on my shoulder before pulling me into a tight hug, his thumb caressing my lower back whilst his other hand rests in my hair. i sob into his chest, failing pathetically to hide my emotions as i cling on to him, my small frame shaking due to the cold berlin weather and my irrational state.

"i’m so sorry." he mutters, resting his head on top of mine. i cannot respond, choking on my tears and unable to do anything but hold onto him as if he may slip away. my vision is slowly blurring, the countless drinks i had making their appearance as i realise how badly i have fucked up by coming here. beyond my intoxicated state, i realise that i don’t want to be this close to tom. i long to scream at the top of my lungs, something about how he made me feel, how fucked up he is, and how much i hate him, but right now i am too shaken to even stand up alone, so i save my breath and prepare to spew my feelings out when i have the energy.

"we need to get you home." he mutters, pulling away after a couple minutes. i stare into his eyes for the first time since we broke up, his immediately filling with hurt once he registers my damaged expression. "god, this is all my fault." he whispers under his breath, guiding me to his car, grabbing his jacket that he always kept in the back for instances like this, knowing that i get cold easily. it brings me some comfort knowing that he kept the jacket there, though it probably means nothing. he places it gently over my shivering frame before climbing into the driver’s side and beginning to drive to my apartment. the house that tom and i shared was in his name, meaning that i insisted on moving out. despite us breaking up, he helped me find a place, a decent sized two bedroom apartment in the heart of berlin. though it wasn't nearly as perfect as our home, it was something, and i am grateful for it.

i face away from him, not willing to forgive him despite my vulnerable state just moments before. no matter how much he protected me just then, i can’t place my trust in him, my heart and mind still wary, the thought of him discarding me for other girls so nonchalantly after we parted fresh in my mind.

"i missed you." he announces into the empty silence, his head turning in my direction whilst i scoff in response. "don't lie to me tom." his words bring anger coursing through my veins the second they utter from his mouth, sobriety soon taking over me as the alcohol quickly wares off. if he missed me, he wouldn't have fucked every girl he has seen this past month, he would have come back, or better yet, he wouldn’t have left me in the first place.

"i'm telling the truth." he begins, hesitantly turning his gaze to meet mine, my eyes filling with tears before i can attempt to collect my composure. "i regret leaving you. i need you to-"

"do you have any fucking idea what you did to me? i haven't been eating, sleeping, you've just seen me almost have sex with a guy i'd barely known for five minutes for gods sake!" i shout, my voice breaking as the tears cascade inevitably down my cheeks, unable to hide my vulnerability in this moment. he winces slightly at the mention of me nearly sleeping with alex, his grip on the wheel increasing whilst his jaw is clenched.

he is hurt. i have known him long enough to be able to distinguish how he is feeling without him saying a word. the pained look on his face almost pleases me, glad to see him guilty over the emotional turmoil he has caused me, because i long for him to grasp even a small segment of how i feel, and my small outburst has definitely achieved that.

"i’m sorry. i never deserved you, now even less than ever. i fucked up, badly. i have no idea how to make it up to you. help me, please schatz. i want to be better, for you." he finishes, pulling into his driveway as the dark grey gates open, revealing the house that i share so many memories in, yet it feels strangely foreign, like i don’t belong here, and i never did.

"sure doesn't seem like it." i begin. "from everything i've seen online you seem to have gotten over me pretty fast. thought you were better than meaningless sex, but i guess not. same old tom." i scoff, shaking my head in disbelief of his empty words.

"what are you talking about? i haven't had sex with anyone. not since you anyway." he fires back, staring into my eyes, and for some reason, i don't think he is lying, the amount of time spent with him across my life meaning i can read him like a book.

"whatever, i don’t have the fucking energy for this. besides, you said you were taking my home. this isn’t my house anymore, incase you fucking forgot.” i state matter-of-factly, not in the mood for continuing this conversation, or even being around him.

"you can barely walk. no way was i leaving you to go home alone. you can spend the night here." he replies assertively, stepping out of the car as i do the same, slamming the door shut in frustration.

"you don't have to protect me tom. we aren't together anymore." i respond bitterly, looking down at the ground, wishing it would swallow me up. his hand gently grazes mine, testing his limits as he attempts to take his hand in mine, to which i quickly refuse, pulling away and looking at him in confusion.

"what are you doing?" i hiss, looking upwards as he puts his hands up, surrendering.

"sorry just, please come inside, you're freezing in that tiny dress." not having the energy to argue, i reluctantly sigh, following him inside, taking in the all too familiar surroundings and immediately reminiscing on all the memories i have here, longing to go back to the time when things weren't so complicated.

"look i-" tom begins, however his words are soon shortened to a stop as i quickly cut him off, lethargic and carrying a lack of effort to argue with him, because i know that no matter how long i let him speak, the conversation will only end badly, turning even more sour than it already is right now.

"i'm tired, please can we talk about this in the morning." i sigh, my head pounding as i groan out in pain, massaging my temples slowly and closing my eyes.

"okay, you take our- my bed and i'll sleep in the guest room. there's some of my hoodies in there for you to sleep in." he responds, a look of defeat evident among his complexion, relief coursing through me as i nod my head, walking up to his bedroom. the countless nights i spent in this room, wrapped in his arms, the countless mornings i woke up to his affection, the countless evenings we shared intimate moments all seem to be lost as i feel a stranger here, almost misplaced without a sense of belonging.

i open the wardrobe, immediately knowing which door has his hoodies from when i would often steal one, something he is used to me doing. i pick out my favourite one. it is simple - a white hoodie with writing printed across its front. to others, it holds little meaning, however even after our breakup, it holds thousands of memories, because it is what he wore when we had our first kiss, and the first piece of clothing he ever gave me, this small act something i won’t ever be able to forget. slipping my dress off and the hoodie over my head, his scent quickly envelops me, providing with all the security i have been longing for, my mind quickly breaking down as tears cloud my vision, my desire to have him holding me taking over as i wish that we would have never parted.

climbing into the soft sheets, i attempt to fall asleep, any element of lethargy in my body fading away as i crave to be in tom’s arms like i have been each time i have laid in this bed. his side is cold and empty, my body shuffling over to it as i snuggle into his pillow, reaching out pathetically to any remnant of him i have left. seconds feel like hours of me thinking of him, wondering if he cares anywhere close to the extent that i do, finding myself longing to take a small look inside his mind, because all i want is his love. the darkness encloses me, silence echoing throughout the empty house and only fuelling my wandering mind. every thought flashes back to him, and i loathe how he can consume my entire being without even being aware of the effect he has on me.

eventually, my eyes begin to droop, almost falling into a somewhat peaceful slumber, however before i can do so, the door creaks open, light from the hallway leaking into the bedroom, before it is cast out seconds later with the soft click of the door closing, footsteps nearing the bed as i feel it dip beside me. my body is afraid to move, instead laying still in confusion until i feel a single hand brush against my shoulder, causing me to whip my head around, tom’s eyes gazing into mine.

‘i can't do it." he mutters, scanning my eyes with his own, only the seas of brown are filled with sorrow, slightly distinguishable through the darkness.

as much as i want to tell him to leave, to scold him for disturbing me when i was finally close to falling asleep, i simply can’t. i am compelled to him, silently thanking his impulsiveness and finding myself pleading for us to work things out.

"can't do what?" i respond, laying on my side and facing him, our bodies at each side of the bed as he is slightly reluctant to push my boundaries.

"live without you, i can't do it. i need you." he replies, slowly reaching his hand out until it meets mine, his fingers clasping mine in the centre of the bed, this small act of physical affection being the only thing that binds us together, yet it is more than enough.

"you broke me tom." i whisper, blinking away the tears as i refuse to cry again, tired of being so vulnerable around him. “do you realise that?”

"i know, and i’m so sorry schatz. i’ll never be able to make that up to you. but i want to try, can you let me do that? please baby." his body slowly nears mine, until our faces are inches apart. he removes his hand from mine, my face falling in disappointment, however this quickly turns into curiosity as it moves only to reach up and caress my cheek, wiping the single tear that had fallen with his thumb. i wither helplessly into his touch, feeling completely and utterly trapped within his affection. i am bound to him, left hopeless and attached. no matter how much i try fight, it is useless, my body and my mind is unable to function without him.

"it’s only you schatz." he mutters, his face nearing mine as he captures my lips in a sweet kiss, the first one we have shared in over a month. the way his lips fit so perfectly with mine, their softness contrasting with the harshness he showed me all those weeks ago, makes me wonder how i managed to live without this feeling all this time. he is a drug, his kisses addictive as i find myself longing for more, desperate to make up for the lost intimacy as a result of our separation.

"i love you." he whispers against my lips, reattaching them almost immediately with even more desire than before, sealing every unspoken apology in the most beautiful way possible. the darkness between us is a barrier, preventing my vision from witnessing the man above me. tom reaches quickly to flip the bedside lamp on, faded yellow light leaking dimly around the room, illuminating his features as i can finally see every part of him. and oh god, is he perfect. his lips plump and parted, tinted with a rosy shade of pink, adorned with that same piercing that drives me crazy each and every time, tired and shaky breaths erupting from them whilst i stare into his eyes, deep pools of brown that i could get lost in if i look for too long.

his body. crafted by god himself - concrete proof that he really does have favourites. each inch of skin soft and sheen, resembling silk itself whilst my fingers slowly trail down it, melting into the pale surface , past his chest to his chiselled abs, gently grazing the muscle and refusing to break eye contact. my hand creeps lower and lower, tom becoming increasingly flustered until they reach the waistband of his boxers. at an agonisingly slow pace, my finger slips inside, fiddling with the waistband whilst touching the skin there, refusing to move my hand any lower whilst i take in tom’s expression. his eyes are flickering between being fully closed and half-lidded, barely noticeable wrinkles lining his forehead as his eyebrows knit together, lips parted with shaky breaths uttering from them, the cold air fanning onto my face, heavy against his warm kiss.

"fuck- please don't tease." he whispers, resting his forehead against mine and beginning to slowly kiss my lips once again, my body feeling full again as i soon realise how much i missed this feeling. complying with his plea, my hand slips further into his boxers, a choked breath muffling into my mouth as i begin to gently move my hand up and down. he struggles to kiss back, soft moans escaping from his lips and mixing into mine in the most delightful way possible as i pick up the pace.

"oh my god..." he trails off, his voice vibrating into the soft skin below my ear once his head falls just below it, my movements not slowing, the slight whines emitting from his mouth pushing me further, desperate to please him. the fast and sloppy kisses being placed onto my neck soon slow down, giving me the signal that he is close. he clutches onto my waist, his fingers running up and down whilst his legs slightly tremble, his release taking over as he lets out a loud groan, a string of curses following until he slips his boxers off, regaining his composure and climbing fully on top of me.

our faces are inches apart, my ragged breathing echoing my desperation to feel him inside me, because it has been so long since i have experienced the feeling, and it is like no other. his thumb runs along my lips, pulling the bottom one downward slowly and releasing it, before moving his head to the nape of my neck, placing slow and gentle kisses.

"you have no idea what i want to do to you schatz." he mutters against my skin, nipping at it gently, these words alone almost being enough to let go, to lose any remnant of composure i have and allow him to take me right there and then. his calloused hands reach for the large hoodie draped over my frame, pulling it over my head as i am almost completely naked, my underwear being the only barrier between us and exercising those silent promises of our love on the tips of our tongues.

"so perfect." he whispers, caressing my cheek lightly. pressing himself against me, his hand reaches to caress my now exposed breast, kissing and biting at any skin he can get access to, inaudible spews of satisfaction swallowing the silence surrounding us, my hands pushing his head further downwards ever so slightly, savouring the pleasure and wishing it would last forever. he slowly pulls away, maintaining eye contact as he reaches for my panties, swiftly tugging them downward and discarding them somewhere across the room, like the rest of our clothing.

skin to skin, the warm and bare air a mirror to our nakedness, we kiss with such hunger, such desire that our need for each other is palpable, so strong that i swear if i tried, i could feel it. because he is that love, his body living and breathing evidence that this love is real, not something that can only be felt inside, though the fire that his touch ignites within me is one that will burn forever, as long as he vows to supply the heat that is his affection. my hands clutch onto his back, his roaming my waist and pushing our hips into each other, ragged breaths echoing throughout the room as i find myself becoming too impatient. although part of me wants to savour this moment as it is our first special one in over a month, one part of me, the more irrational side, wants him to ruin me, wants him to claim me as his own and do whatever his heart desires. i am his to destroy, because if it means that i can be with him for eternity, then i am willing to do anything.

"tom…i need you." i whisper helplessly against his lips, no longer able to mask my hunger.

he places one final kiss to my lips, stroking my hair gently and positioning himself to my entrance. my eyes squeeze shut in anticipation, relishing this feeling and preparing for the intense pleasure that i have been so empty without.

“then i’m all yours.” he speaks softly, sliding into me slowly before i am able to repeat my desperate plea. because if i tried, i know that my speech would be inaudible, struggling to breathe at the feeling of him filling me up.

unaccustomed to his size, or any dick for the last month, i wince in pain before he is even halfway in, gripping his bicep and giving him the signal to stop. "wait a minute." i state breathlessly, biting down on my lip as he stops his motion, gently stroking my cheek with his palm and awaiting my permission to carry on. feeling him stretch my walls fills the hole within me, once hollow and empty, however the pain takes longer to subside, tom slowly biting and kissing the sensitive skin on my jaw whilst he waits.

"c’mon baby, you can take it." he mumbles against me, the raspiness within his voice vibrating up my spine, motivating me to tune out the pain and allow him to pleasure me. "okay." i whisper, pleasure soon starting to take over as he moves into me, stopping and throwing his head back as he bottoms out, his tip hitting my g-spot perfectly, this being enough for me to cry out, my screams echoing throughout the room, the air thick with passion. his eyes are screwed shut, sweat lining along his forehead, his breathing ragged and uneven, yet he only increases his stamina, picking my leg up and placing it over his shoulder.

the new angle sends me into euphoria, my vision turning white as i can do nothing but scream his name, my fingers raking down his back. he memorises the way he hits my g-spot, doing it over and over again, bringing me closer to my release, yet i can tell he is not there yet, prompting me to hold it so i can share my high with him.

"fuck me..." his voice trails off, his eyebrows furrowing as he savours the pleasure. my legs wrap around his waist, bringing him closer inwards, if that is physically possible. somehow he is still going, not showing any signs of lethargy. he is desperate to meet his release, hips snapping against mine with such intensity, his head buried in the crook of my neck, the incoherent groans escaping from his mouth fanning over the bare skin, sending shivers down my spine.

"tom i'm so close!" i moan, knowing that i will not last much longer. i do not know if it is the absence of sexual intimacy in my life recently, or my intense desire for him, but this time around, my ability to contain myself is long gone.

"i know baby, i know..." he sighs out, the feeling him twitching inside of me silently letting me know that he is almost there too. "just hold it for me." overstimulation soon takes over, the feeling of him moving in and out of me providing me with such overwhelming pleasure that my mouth gapes open, no sound escaping as i am utterly speechless, drunk on the sensation and a complete mess beneath him. i could cry at the feeling, on the verge of tears with each stroke, wondering how this moment is reality, seeming entirely too good to be true.

"okay baby, let go." he breathes out, his voice shaky as it is soon cut off with a choked moan, his load shooting into me as mine soon follows. i swear i can see stars, my eyes not able to stay still, my whole body the same as it trembles uncontrollably, tom’s slow and steady thrusts sending me into oblivion as he rides out our highs, his lips hovering over mine. "oh my god" is all he can say, still inside me, his mouth eventually moulding with mine, the kiss filled with so much energy despite the amount of stamina that was used just seconds before.

i am not done yet, my body feeling like it has just started as i have the motivation to go one thousands times over, addicted to the way he feels. "let me be on top." i mutter against his lips, the pillowy skin battling to try continue kissing me. in one swift motion, he flips us over, moving upwards so that his back is resting against the headboard, his hands placed steadily on my waist whilst i sit on top of him. i waste no time, hovering over him and sliding downwards, letting him fill me up and sighing loudly as i do, tom tightening his hold on me and muttering a slow ‘jesus christ’, his voice low, words as sweet as honey as they sound from the back of his throat.

pressing open mouthed kisses against my jaw, neck, collarbone, anywhere he is able to access, he groans out in pleasure, his hands remaining steadily on my hips whilst i easily maintain my rhythm. with a slight change in the movement of my hips, his tip presses against my g-spot, the friction causing me to cry out, him doing the same as his head falls backwards, eyes squeezing shut, savouring the ecstasy. my hands lay flat against his chest, watching it heave up and down with each unsteady breath he takes, his muscles flexing with each squeeze of my waist, this only encouraging me to go further, the sight of him being pleasured by me almost pushing me to my release alone.

the feeling so good i question whether i have reached heaven itself, though my actions won’t get me anywhere near, my mind wanders how i survived for so long without him, without his dick inside me, without his hands on mine - because right now he is my oxygen, my sole purpose. i can barely catch my breath, my legs shaking uncontrollably whilst my hips circle around his, feeling every inch of him inside of me. my body leans forward, skin to skin, as i bite down on his shoulder, becoming increasingly tired, however i am so desperate for my release that i continue my slow and lethargic movements.

tom is quick to pick up on my change in speed, grabbing my hips once again and angling himself correctly, before thrusting into me from below, the sudden pressure causing a throaty moan to escape from my swollen lips.

"fuck…missed this, missed you so much baby." he mutters, his whole body tensing for a second whilst he begins to twitch inside of me.

"i’m close." he groans, meeting my lips in a sloppy kiss before i can respond. i don’t even bother trying to hold it, instead allowing my release to take over me, my vision turning white as i cling onto tom’s shoulders, my head buried in the crook of his neck, crying out in pleasure as it is so intense i almost feel myself slip away. his release soon follows, mouth gaping open, eyebrows furrowing and sweat glistening his chiselled frame, outlining his muscle in the most attractive way possible. he still strokes in and out of me slowly, his hands wrapped around my small frame, no space between us. my breathing ragged, hair a mess and body trembling, i pull away from his shoulder to look into his eyes, pressing my forehead against his as i can do nothing but admire him.

“shit- i love you so much." he manages to breathe out, moving a few stray hairs from my face and planting a last kiss on my forehead, slowly pulling out of me, the loss of contact making me whine slightly as i cling onto him, afraid of losing him ever again.

"i love you too." i respond, certainty uttering from every word as i find myself more in love with him, the best sex we have ever had replaying over and over again in my memory, our naked bodies pressed together.

"i promise you, i never slept with anyone else. i never even kissed another girl. i couldn't, it wouldn't have been right, not when you were the only person on my mind." he speaks slowly yet firmly after a few seconds of peaceful silence, pulling my body further onto his as he rests his forehead against mine, stroking my hair gently.

i move my head upwards, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "why not? there's so many girls that you could've had. what was stopping you?" i ask, lacing my hand with his and beginning to play with his fingers, the skin soft and smooth.

"the fact that they weren't you." he responds, gently lifting my chin upwards with his pointer finger, tenderly running his thumb along my cheek. "i never got over you. i hope you know that."

deciding that actions speak louder than words in this instance, i place my lips on his, sealing our love with a sweet kiss as he instantly kisses back, laying downwards flat against the bed whilst i am still on top of him. i slowly pull away, my entire body aching, eyes fluttering shut as a tired yawn escapes from my mouth. tom reaches over to turn the lamp off, laying down beside me and opening his arms out, my head resting on his chest, his thumb running comfortingly up and down my arm. "goodnight meine liebe." he whispers, my throat sore from our rendezvous, so i place a quick kiss on his chest in response, my eyes falling shut as sleep takes me. our legs entangled, bodies together, heartbeats aligned, i feel him now more than ever. not just physically, but i feel him mentally, spiritually, our mind and being merged together as one.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

#tom kaulitz #kaulitz twins #tokiohotel #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz smut #tomkaulitz #tom kaulitz angst #kaulitz #tom kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz

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thankskenpenders · 5 months

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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.

First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.

Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.

The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...

I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.

The why

I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.

Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.

But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)

The what, how, and when

So here's the plan.

Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.

After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.

I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.

I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.

So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?

#tkp post

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destructive-path · 7 months

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Fan. - E.W.

a/n: Hi! This is the first one shot i have ever written so i would appreciate some feedback in the comments please! (but pls be nice) This is ur average ao3 coded fic with no proofread and bad grammar to ease you in to what i plan on posting if all goes well!

summary - jackson au where basically the entire pt.2 never happened, Ellie is older, Joel is alive. Instead of falling for Dina, Ellie has a fascination with a girl (you) that swims at the local creek near jackson.

( I imagine farm ellie looks here bc im a mullet enthusiast )

warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY mdni, smut, kissing, mentions of sex, fingering (r receiving), service top! ellie, sub! reader, oral (r receiving), pet names,

word count : 8.5K (I KNOW SHE’S A BIT HEFTY BUT ITS WORTH IT IMO)

Jackson summers were painfully hot. Maybe it was the effects of the extensive bombing that took place when everything went to shit. Or maybe it was just living in the apocalypse that made everything unbearable. Everything was out to kill you, including the heat. Great.

You could cut the air with a knife. In this time of scarce recourses there wasn’t a lot of remedies people could access to alleviate the sheer heat that surrounded them. There was an occasional establishment in city limits that was graced with a limited amount of air conditioning. (In summers jackson preserved the generators for more important things) Although it never really stayed cool for long anyways because every citizen that wasn’t on patrol or working an assigned shift could be found in one of these buildings.

Fans were like gold during these times. If you were lucky to have one it was most likely scored on patrol, which was rare. So whatever chance you got, you found yourself at a creek just outside of jacksons walls to cool down. It was a flowing stream that kept cool year round, surrounded with trees and engulfed in shade from the sun.

Lots of people your age could be found there during these excruciating summer days. Mostly young adults, those old enough to be assigned on patrol with the exception of the occasional teenager. It was a safe space for younger people to get away from the effects that summer had on authority figures of jackson. To be fair the heat made everyone a little irritable, but you could only take so much.

You had almost made it to your sacred spot before a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Hey there little minnow” A soft but somewhat gruff voice states behind you.

You must have been so consumed with getting to your destination that you had failed to hear the footsteps of your fairly recently acquainted swimming partner close behind you.

It wasn’t an intentional initial meet cute, one day while you were enjoying your solitude she emerged from the trees. Her eyes were wondering in search of something but when they landed on you in the water, the curious stare faded and she asked if she could join you. You Accepted.

She wasn’t always there when you were but you had begun to notice that she has been attending the spot more frequently the past few weeks. You never said many words to each other, both using this time as more of a solitary escape than a social vacation. You couldn’t deny though, she had a presence that felt intimidating…yet comforting? So you never dismissed her. Maybe just admired observed her unique demeanor from a distance. Only ever exchanging words on occasion.

You slowly spun around to face her, taken aback by the new nickname that left her lips.

“Minnow?” You state teasingly, your raised brow coaxing a chuckle out of the girl.

“Ive seen you out here almost everyday.”

She looks down in a sort of bashful way. Clutching the strings of her bag on her shoulders in a fidgety manner.

“Like this creek is your home or something…honestly now that im thinking about it I dont know if Ive ever seen you anywhere in jackson but here.” She scratches the back of her neck and repositions upright. The bottom of her shirt lifts at the tug of her elbow upwards to gain better access to her neck. This action exposes her slightly tanned stomach and a v line practically begging you to stare at it.

You inhale. As you think about the times you have laid eyes on her you realize its always been the way she looks now. A slightly grown out mullet pushed back with a thin black headband, some sort of sports bra underneath a slightly cropped muscle tee, with short swimming trunks that stop a little less than halfway on her thighs. She always had slightly sun kissed cheeks and freckles that decorate her entire face in various places. Exhale. Maybe you do come here too much.

“I could say the same for you too, you know. This was my spot first.” You rebuttal in a playful tone, crossing your arms.

The young woman throws her hands up in defense and steps a little closer to you. You can see a layer of sweat rolling off her now.

“Fair, fair…you dont mind do you? Every other corner of this stream but this one is overrun by like- loud jackson youths. I just need somewhere I can cool down and relax. Away from the noise you know? If im honest the only reason I found this place is because I saw you sneaking away from the usual crowded section.”

Her eyes meet yours in search of something. Acceptance? Maybe just a sign that you dont think shes a creep? You cant help but blush at the thought of her eyes following you, curious of your endeavors.

She notices this.

“Its fine.” You state calmly. Genuinely. Which makes her smile as she watches you turn on your heels to continue to the stream.

“Just as long as you dont call me a minnow anymore…” You pause. In search of her name. You remember she told you the first time she swam with you.

“…Ellie. Right?” You keep walking ahead listening to her steps slightly behind you.

“Right. And got it, no more fish related nicknames. I like swimming here with you. Id hate to fuck it up.” You can hear the smirk in her tone. You try to shake it off but you cant. She enjoys your time together…Noted.

—

You make it to the edge of the stream and stop at a patch of grass where you normally put your things. This time Ellie settles next to you instead of her usual spot a few patches over.

“Can I ask why you come here so much? I feel like you have to be half fish.” You laugh at this, taking a liking to her humorous side as opposed to the usual quietness you are used to.

“Pretty much the same reason you do. That, and I dont have a fan in my room, so this is the only way I can stay cool in summer. ” You reply as you began to remove the clothes that served as a sort of practical cover up from the journey from your house to the stream.

Ellie hums in response and watches as you peel of the top that was clinging you your body on the walk here. Revealing the only bikini u had the luck of finding in this current state of the world. You were now only in your swim suit peering down at your own reflection in the water. Ellie stands up behind you, motivated by your new state and removes her black headband and muscle tee then tosses them ontop of her own belongings as she makes her way to stand next to you by the stream.

She is close. Closer than shes ever been before, which isnt even really THAT close. But for some reason its enough for you to notice. You can smell her now. The need to sneak a look at her state from this distance overcomes you. You can see some scars on her face you didnt notice before. A small pit in your stomach begins to form and u turn to look back at your own reflection in the water. Her gaze averts away from the stream and towards your direction. You shift your eyes to look at her reflection in the water until you muster enough strength to meet her gaze next to you. Ellies mullet has now fallen around her face and is stuck to her temples and forehead due to the heat. The green in her eyes impossible to ignore, almost as if they were daring you to swim in them and not the water next to you. The pit in your stomach grows a little larger but you cant think of anything to say. Luckily (as if she read your mind) she speaks up.

“Jump in on three?” She asks. You Nod.

“One” says ellie

“Twooo” You drag

“THREE!” You both shout and finally break eye-contact to jump into the cold water.

This day was different than the others, you both knew it.

—

After swimming for what felt like no time at all, (but both of you determined had been several hours due to the sun’s dramatic new position) you decided to leave the coldness of the water and return back to jackson city limits.

The walk back was silent. A juxtaposition to the time you two had spent together in the water. Maybe you were silently soaking in all the information you had learned about Ellie or maybe it was because your time together was almost over. This swim session was filled with questions about each other, statements about jackson and various basic getting to know each other things. Ellies questions were unique. She asked you things no one had before. It was as if she was desperate to know you, like she had already had an arsenal of questions ready for the moment you two had finally decided to get to know each other. Your questions came naturally, but still revealed a side to her that you could never predict yourself.

She was an artist. She was a killer, of man and monster alike. Mostly everyone was these days. Although, her stories and the journey it took to get Jackson was something you would never forget. Ellie loved jokes and comics and space. Nerd. She asked you lots (lots) of questions about your own theories of how the universe worked. You could tell your perspective was as interesting to her as the subject itself. You told her about your own interests which also seemed to dazzle her in a way even you couldn’t explain. Getting to know each other reminded you of reading a really good book, or traveling to somewhere new. Theres was so much to learn. So much to still unravel, details to notice. You didn’t want to stop getting to know Ellie. And she didn’t want to stop talking to you.

So the silent walk back was interrupted by Ellies voice.

“Um-you mentioned you dont have a fan in your room?” She asks, already knowing the answer but mostly seeing if you would fall into the trap she had been asking herself the entire walk back to jackson if she should set. You shake your head and respond.

“I do not unfortunately. Never got lucky enough on patrol to find one. I look every time though, and nothing. My guess is all of the ones within our patrol areas got taken by jackson citizens. If I wanted to find one these days I would probably have to journey for miles.” You state plainly. Curious why she asked, so you ask.

“Why?”

She looks up from her shifting feet.

“Well, I uh- have one. In my room…A fan. If you were still feeling hot.”

She steps closer.

“We could go there and continue to cool down...” Shes looking directly at you again. Her green eyes are begging for you to accept her seemingly gracious (but really somewhat selfish) offer. You cant help but swallow, hard.

You accept and she leads you to her place.

—

As you enter Ellies home everything she had told you at the creek before makes more sense. Its almost as if her personality had been stripped from her and placed on the walls and shelves around you. You had never seen a room with so much stuff. A part of you was curious on how she had collected so many items over the years. These days you had forgotten that was an option, you had become too consumed by other things to remember to have a personality of your own to decorate your home with.

You liked it in her room. Well liked was an understatement. You silently paced around the space taking note of everything you saw. Posters, figurines, lots of books and comics. You began to notice her art that was sprawled all over the room in various corners. She was talented. You noticed a guitar and a record player with lots of vinyls next to it. She had mentioned a guardian of hers had a large influence on her love for music. You made a mental note to make sure she showed you her appreciation for music sometime. As you continued to take in everything in silence, Ellie couldn’t take her eyes off you. She watched the way you hesitantly touched the occasional item. Her stomach did flips each time you stared a little longer than normal at a sketch or painting you had discovered around the space. Each little hmm or ah that exited your mouth left her with a mountain of curiosity. She wanted to know every thought behind every item you saw. She was overwhelmed by your presence in her space. You were here. Admiring her things, in her room, alone with her.

“So, what do you think?” Ellies asks.

“Of your room?”

“No of the fan.” She gestures to a grey fan slowly moving side to side placed near the corner of her bed.

“Oh. Its nice.”

“Im joking. Just nice?”

“Jerk. Your room is cool.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. I like your art.”

Ellie gestures to the art you have been observing for the last few minutes.

“Oh you mean this art?” She asks in a playfully sarcastic tone. You catch her smirking this time, not wanting to give her the full satisfaction so you decide to continue with the playful dialogue she has struck.

“Mmmhm, Id like to meet the artist someday. Do you think you could introduce me?” You ask. Now mirroring Ellie’s smirk.

“Woooooow.” She scoffs in response only making your smirk turn into a much wider grin.

“Ohhh!” You continue your game. Ellie continues to laugh whilst matching the increasing smile now on both of your faces.

“Is this? This cant be your art? I mean its actually good. I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a young van gogh.” You tease. Hoping you didn’t offend her with the comparison to the only artist you could remember. Now you are both laughing.

“Oh come on.” She rolls her eyes.

“Im no Van gogh.” She states boldly. Your laughter dies down slightly as you both continue to stare at a painting she had been working on. She turned her gaze back to you.

“You know Van goh was like, criminally underrated in his prime? He was deemed untalented by those who viewed his work when he was alive.” You smiled at the knowledge she decided to share with you.

“Ah so you do have something in common.” you turn to face her fighting a smile, wanting to see her reaction.

“Ohhh okay… whos the jerk now?” She asks as her head tilts slightly to the side, lips back in smirk position.

You dont respond immediately. Soaking in the effortlessness of you and Ellies rebuttal. You search for words to change the subject, but, in this moment you cant help but notice her current state. Shes in diffferent clothes now. The change must have happened as you were distracted admiring ellies room. She was dressed in dark blue boxers and a white longsleeve sleep shirt with the top two silver buttons left unclasped. The longsleeve was slightly oversized and stopped just above her waist with the sleeves pushed to her elbows. Her boxers were slightly shorter than the swimming trunks you were used to. The pit in your stomach had reappeared again. Noticing her now dry hair didnt help much either. It was very much disheveled sticking out every which way. Ellies fringe framed her face in a way that made your cheeks turn red. It was only then, when the heat on your face was significantly more prominent did you realize how long you had been staring.

Your gaze returns to Ellies eyes and the playful demeanor she once had was gone. Instead it was replaced with something much more. Her eyebrows were knit and her bottom lip was now under them punishment of her teeth. She looked at you as if you were a painting. Not one in a museum, more like one of her own. A piece of art she could only imagine in her head. A blank canvas she needed to decorate. Afraid one wrong stroke could ruin you. She looked at your arms, legs, stomach, chest. Ellie studied you with such intensity you thought you would dissolve under her stare. Your breathing increased. You swallow hard.

“Ellie.” You say, hoping to ease her piercing stare. Its no use. Shes lost in the observation of you.

She stands from her sitting position and slowly walks towards your direction, still saying nothing. Ellie still hadnt made direct eye contact for a while, so you took this moment to look at her face. You wanted to notice every facial expression she made whilst discovering your body. You watched her mouth part to support the fact that she was now breathing as hard as you were. With every step ellie inched closer you spotted something new. A freckle or scar, the slight pink of her lips, the twinge of brown in her astonishingly green irises.

She was inches away from you now, still refusing to acknowledge your eyes. Your instincts made u step away from her like two negative sides of a magnet. The more she moved into you the more you moved away. There wasnt much room for you to avert her. You continued this dance until you were met with the hardness of her desk behind you. The solid surface made contact with the lower half of your behind, leaving you no choice but to seize your movements away from ellies unwavering advances.

She stops and places her hands on either side of you. Your trapped now. Ellie is gripping her desk like she would fall over if she didn’t. Shes so close yet not touching you at all. Your breaths are now synched. You look at ellies neck and see her swallow hard. When you look at her face she still hasn’t gained the bravery to look you in the eye. Instead she has her eyes fixed on your slightly parted lips. She looks at them as if they were a cold glass of water just out of reach. A perfectly good dessert thrown in the trash. She looked at your lips as if she needed them to stay alive. Like it was painful.

How did you get here? One moment you two had been playful and lighthearted and now the room was filled with tension as thick as the hot air outside. The pit in your stomach returned with a great force.

Noticing this, you decided to be brave. You allowed your tongue to swipe itself through the part of your lips, wetting them for whatever was to come next. Ellie let out a shakey sigh of relief. Followed by a soft hum. Her head lowered in order to get a closer look at your newly damp lips, her eyebrows knit even more at the sight of them from this new angle.

Slowly but steadily her hand began to rise from its grip on the desk behind you. Her palm inched closer and closer to your face. Only until her hand had risen past your shoulders did you notice its presence, distracted by the concentration in her eyes. She froze for a moment molding her hand into a lazy cuping formation mere centimeters from your cheek.

She was shaking. Ellies breathing had picked up slightly. You took this opportunity to look away from her hand and back to her eyes, still not on yours. The painful yearning look was still painted on her face. As if she ran a marathon in order to connect with you but couldnt go the last mile, like she needed your permission to cross the finish line. So you moved your head forward and slowly wiggled into the crescent her long and slender fingers had formed so close to your face. As if you were begging her to become your own personal champion. You wanted to be her prize. Ellies breathing stopped.

For a moment there was pure silence. Every sound around you from the fan by the corner of her bed to the hum of jackson civilization became muffled. Everything in you ached for her finish what you two had started, whatever it was.

You leaned into the warmth her fingers provided biting back a whine for something more. Only then, when Ellie noticed you dripping with desperation did the first words in several minutes get uttered.

“Can I kiss you?” Ellie whispers in a low tone. You were sure you wouldnt have been able to hear it if she hadnt been so close. The heat emitting from her hand on your flushed cheek had become scalding. Unable to utter a word because you were afraid your voice might crack, you nod.

Ellie mirrors your prior actions and licks her own lips to alleviate the dryness her heavy breathing had caused. Green eyes still trained on your parted lips.

You feel the soft grasp she has on your cheek shift slightly. Her thumb strokes your cheek unbearably slow, inching closer and closer until it finds its place at the corner of your mouth. She pauses for a second, inhales-then swipes the digit slowly across your lower lip. This causes you to inhale deeply. Ellie had barely touched you at all, her intimate gesture crumbled what ever composure you thought you had left. You were going mad and extremely needy. Heart racing faster than ever. Then once she was done with the first touch your bottom lip, she swipes her finger even slower back across your top one. You swear the roughness of her finger tip is stained in your memory forever.

This causes you to become weak.

You sink into the desk behind you slightly leaning on it due to the fact that your knees no longer seemed to function. Ellie becomes the support of your head as your neck becomes limp after she had taken whatever strength you had at the delicate touch of your lips. Fuck. fuckfuckfuck.

You start to think its impossible for Ellie to look you in the eye. She had become entranced by your lips. You have yet to look away from her eyes which were still focused on the one place you wanted her most. It was evil that she has yet to meet your stare.

“Ellie..” You whispered once more. Yearning for something, anything. Then, as if she could hear your thoughts before they left your mouth for the second time today (at this point you were convinced) she began to grant you your wish.

Ellie pressed her head against yours for a moment and exhaled. “What are you doing to me?” She asks, in that painful tone you saw oozing out of her demeanor earlier. You cant find the words because you honestly dont know what you have done to make her want you this way. All you can think, see, hear is Ellie, ellieellieellieellieellie. So instead you plead for her. “Please look at me Ellie.”

She becomes more malleable each time you utter her name.

Ellies eyes rose to meet yours. Finally. Then your lips meet. It was as if your stare had pulled her in. When eye contact had been made she couldn’t stay away anymore. You thought that was maybe why it took her so long to return her gaze to yours. If she did, she couldn’t stop herself from doing whatever she wanted with you. But you didn’t care. You needed Ellie.

You both sigh into the kiss, eye contact unbroken for a moment. Sure most people would consider open eyes during this moment strange, it didn’t bother you though. It had felt like eons since she had graced you with direct eye contact. You needed it so desperately you refused to look away. So did she. So you kissed like this for a moment.

Her eyebrows had scrunched together again at the sight of your own eyes trained on hers, matching desperation. This made you sink even further into her grasp. Finally finding the courage to reach out and grab onto her, you placed your hands on either side of her waist pulling her into you. This new closeness made both of your eyes snap shut. You swam in the feeling of her lips on yours. She was as comforting as the stream that had brought you together.

Ellie was remarkably soft. Images of her once rugged state appeared in your head furthering the intensity you were feeling. How could someone who appeared so tough, be so malleable? So gentle? The curiosity made you whine for more. More and so much more. Her lips belonged on yours. Each slip and slide of your swollen pink lips on each other further ignited what you both thought was long gone. You couldn’t stay silent, moans and whimpers escaping from you left and right. This only made Ellie hold you tighter. Kiss you harder.

She ran her hands to the underside of your exposed thighs until her hands were where she wanted them. Her grip tightened on your skin as she lifted you onto her desk. Painting materials shifted behind you due to your presence. This action caused you to squeal slightly, which drove Ellie mad. She grabbed your waist and brought your clothed core against her own. This new position made Ellie moan into your mouth.

It was a sound that made your whole body become hot. The once soft kiss had turned into a dance for dominance. Your hands traveled from her waist to the back of her mullet due to the new position. You tugged on Ellies hair as if it would bring you closer in her already impossibly tight embrace. This action coaxed another moan out of her mouth against your lips and she broke contact for the first time in what felt like hours. Ellie left her forehead connected with yours and suddenly she was back to her harsh breathing state.

“Shit.” She curses and breaks her gaze on your swollen lips to meet eyes that are already trained on her. “Your driving me crazy” She pecks your lips. “Those pretty fucking noises you make are driving me crazy baby.” Ellie states in that dangerously intoxicating tone. You both breathe harshly. You can still feel her hands on the small of your back underneath your shirt.

A devilish grin forms on your lips which turns into a breathy laugh coming from both parties. She interrupts your laughter with another peck on your lips. and another. and another. You are both still laughing. You cant tell if its because everything was moving so fast or because how good you feel in this moment. Thats a conversation for later.

“You taste-“ Ellie starts in a whisper.

“Like the lake?” You cut her off.

She laughs at your answer and deepens the kiss once more. “Mhhmm” She hums into your mouth. Then pulls away.

“Wait how did you know?”

“Because you taste like the lake.” You moan back pulling her in to kiss you again. She pulls away.

“Shit, is it bad?” She inquires in a concerning voice.

“Do I taste bad?” You ask.

“No, you taste like fresh water and the feeling of outside? Its like oddly addicting.” Shes scratching your back now and it’s making your head spin.

“Good. You dont taste bad either. You taste really good actually.” You say shakily. Your brain has become foggy due to Ellies-well everything. Her smell, her voice, her hands on your body.

“Yeah?” She asks and leans back to observe the effect she has on you. Ellie loves how out of it you are. She needs more.

You nod slowly and hum whilst wrapping your hands around her neck again to pull her head closer to yours. Before she can enclose the space between you, she whispers something against your lips.

“Can I lay you down on my bed pretty baby?” Shes begging you now. Ellie is drunk on your touch and reassurance. You mistake her desperation for confidence at the new nickname for you that leaves her lips. You cant do any thing but whine and wrap yourself around her. Legs surround her waist and arms settled on her broad shoulders. You crane your head against her neck and whisper your response in her ear.

“Please Ellie.” You drag out slowly. She shivers at the feeling of your breath against her neck. Ellie runs her hands over your legs making sure you are securely wrapped around her. Then she grasps your butt to lift you off her cluttered desk. The grip she has on you there sends a shock to your core. You cant help but moan and sink further into the crook of her neck. She chuckles at your sensitivity to her touch. Which only sends you further into bliss. Theres something so tantalizing about the fact that you were falling apart so easily and you had barely been touched. You both could feel it. Ellie holds you close until she reaches her bed and gently places you on her dark green covers.

Almost as soon as you hit the mattress she was on you again. Ellie had one hand on the side of your stomach just above your waist. She had slipped that hand under the shirt you had on and was touching your skin directly. Her other hand was propped in a way that help her upper body stay upright, but her lower half was slotted in between you. You continued making out like this.

The friction of your bodies was becoming more and more intense. The hand that was touching you began exploring your body. From caressing your stomach to your back and down to your butt to pull you closer into her lower half. “So soft.” Ellie barely whispers just loud enough for you to hear.

Your hands had found their way underneath ellies shirt and clawed at her back desperately. You tried to mirror her caresses of you on her back, but her touch and kiss was so overwhelming all you could do was grasp at nothing but skin. Leaving scratches she would sport proudly at a later time.

“Your body feels so good against mine.” She says against your ear making your hips buck up to hers. The slotted position makes your core connect with her thigh. And your thigh to her core. Ellie hissies and grips your hips in that position so you cant move as she rolls her own hips into yours. This action elicits a moan from you both. Foreheads connect as Ellie swears against your mouth. “Fuuuuck.” She continues the movement of her hips in an achingly slow manner. You both cant believe how good it feels and you tell her that you need-

“More. I need more.”

“Yeah?” She moans. This is when Ellie realizes you both are fully clothed. She moves her hands from your hips to your back and sits you both up. You pull back from your closeness to look at her for a moment, wondering what her actions would lead to next.

You take her current state in. Ellie is completely disheveled. She looks so fucked out in-front of you. You blush at the thought that its because of you. The mess of her mullet, the sweat on her temples, her flushed cheeks and glossed puffy lips. All your doing. If she looks this good now you were definitely a goner for whatever she had in store.

Ellie maneuvers herself so she can sit in between your legs. She takes in your spread out position on display for her, then looks at you.

“Im getting hot in these clothes.” She says as her hands move back to their place under your shirt. You exhale at the feeling of her fingers tracing your sides.

“M-Me too.” You whisper.

The heat building in you as she moves her hands up your sides as your top bunches at her wrists the higher they venture up your body. When her hands find their place just below the pits of your arms you lift them above your head and let her remove the damp fabric from your body. Ellie hooks her fingers into your shorts and states-

“Lift your hips baby.” You should’ve known to do this. But you were far too distracted by the way she looked undressing you. That same sort of nervousness from earlier (when she refused to look you in the eye) filled her demeanor. So when she snapped you back to earth with her voice you had to ask her to repeat herself. Instead of vocalizing her needs she took matters into her own hands. Ellie leaned over you and grasped your hips to lift upward. This caused you to fall on your back and gasp as she shimmied your shorts down your legs. When she pulled them off you completely, her hands dragged back up your legs to spread you open and move them back in their position on either side of her. She pulled you closer so that she could move her hands up and down your thighs and take you in for a moment.

Her eyes on you in this position made you grow wet. You have nothing but your swimsuit on now. Which was in a different type of way than what she saw you in earlier. This was 10x more intimate, you feel exposed. Dirty.

You are nearly naked with your legs open due to Ellie putting them there. Now it was your turn to look a mess. Fucked and blushing without even being touched in your leaking center.

Her bottom lip is pushed out into a pout and her head cocked to the side. Ellie sighed deeply like she pitied you. Like you were a toy left at her dispense to play with for as long as she wanted.

The darkness that slowly seeped into her eyes made you embarrassed at your exposed state. You didn’t want her to think you had abandoned all of your composure and willpower. You wanted to surprise her. You brought your hand behind your neck and lifted it slightly so you could untie the swim suit top you had on. As the strings fell apart on either side of your head Ellies breath hitched. Then you lifted your back and pulled the bow placed there loose. You never broke eye contact with her. There was no support on your chest now. This left the swimsuit to act as a mere barrier between your breasts being fully exposed to Ellie. Instead of removing the piece yourself you asked-

“Will you touch me Ellie?”

The way her name exited your lips drove Ellie insane. She let out a shakey breath and brought her hands to your ribcage. Each time her fingers met your skin its like the first. Your stomach flips and the temperature rises in your head fogging your brain. Ellies touch had you reeling. Slowly she raises her hands up your sides until she is grasping your fully exposed chest in her palms. Shes shaking.

“God.” She breaths out.

You cant help but whine at the contact. Instinctively your chest rises with her grasp causing your back to lift off the bed making Ellie bite her lip as her chest rises and falls. She kneads the soft skin and you squirm under her touch. Her hands are impossibly hot against your skin. The sounds coming from you only encouraging her more.

“Fuck baby.” She whispers to herself again. “Look at you.”

She spreads her hands to reveal your perky nipples. Painfully hard from her touch. Shes salivating now. Her mouth remains parted as she inhales harshly, tongue constantly swiping and swirling around her lips to keep from drooling. Ellie runs her thumbs over your sensitive buds, taking you back to moments earlier when she did the same to your lips. The roughness of them still not lost on you, you sigh from her touch.

She playes with you like this until you cant take anymore. With every knead and tug on your breasts, your pussy became more wet. The puddle forming underneath you was not ignored by Ellie. She simply wanted to take her time with you. But you were growing impatient, you needed relief.

“Mmmno more.” You grabbed her wrists to stop her movements. She tried to continue but your grasp was so strong she had no luck. So instead she leaned down to your chest and blew cool air on your right nipple causing you to bite back a moan.

“You all done baby? Cant take anymore?” She continued to blow on your chest. Your whole body shivered. She moved to the left nipple.

“I havent even kissed you here yet…” Her tone had you spinning. She sounded sad. Deprived. Shit.

“Mmmfine. Y-You can keep going. But not for too long, I need you Ellie.” You managed to get out. She gave you a look of affection and relief. Like you gave Ellie her life back. She nodded and reassured you.

“I promise I wont tease you for too much longer, I just want to savor you. You are just sooo pretty baby.”

Your head fell back against the mattress at her words. You have never heard something so intoxicating to your ear drums. Ellie sounding desperate to have you sent you even further into bliss. Then she brought you a new wave of pleasure when her soft lips came in contact with your raw nipples, sensitive and red from her teasing. She sucked the pain of her previous actions away. Ellies tongue swirled around your areolas and flicked across your aching buds. You could no longer stay silent. Your hands flew to Ellies Mullet and scratched at her scalp at her undying progressions on your body. You were a mess of “Ohs and Ahs” urging her to continue as she switched to your neglected breast causing you to go through the motions once more. This went on for what felt like forever, then Ellie finally detached.

“Wait-“ You whined at the loss.

“Shh shh. Im going to take care of you now.” She says against your lips before kissing you again.

You dissolve into her kiss. Its wetter now, the saliva from making a mess of your tits had coated her lips. Everthing had become sloppy. Ellie kissed you as she fumbled out of her boxers and white sleep shirt. Leaving her more exposed than you were, seeing as all you had left to reveal to her was your soaked cunt hidden by your bikini bottoms.

But first you admired her. She was beautiful. Lean and strong. Her frame was small but she somehow had muscle everywhere you looked. The longer you stared the hazier your mind became.

“You’re beautiful.” It comes out of your mouth like a waterfall, so fast you couldn’t stop yourself. You inhale a sharp breath and blush from embarrassment.

“Thank you pretty.” She says in a slight chuckle. When she had enough of the attention on her she began to slot herself against you once more. Bringing together your two hot, now exposed bodies.

“Oh my god.” She breathed.

The feeling on skin to skin contact was a drug. She lay barely ontop of you as you collided. Her exposed cunt was moving and grinding on your thigh messily with no rhythm. Ellie was using your body. Hands exploring each other like it was your job. You were drunk on the feeling of her body on yours. You were jealous at the relief she was getting from you, but it had also sparked something deep inside you. You kissed like this until Ellie had moved her lips to your neck. She sucked there for a moment, making sure to leave a mark. Her hips had lifted as she moved lower down your body. She kissed your collarbones, the valley between your breasts, stomach, belly button. Until she kissed you at the center of your swimming bottoms. Then she moved lower and finally kissed you right on your clothed core ontop of your puffy clit.

“Oh shit” You breathed. You were incredibly sensitive.

She looked up at you from her new spot settled between your legs. Ellie gave u a pleading look. Laced with lust and desperation. She needed to taste you. Now. You gave her a nod of approval and moved to remove your swim bottoms before she stopped you.

“Keep them on.”

There it was again, that tone that drove u crazy. How could you deny her? You wanted to tell her that it wasn’t fair because she was more undressed than you were. But when she sounded like that, and looked like that, between your legs no less…all you could do was nod and watch. Ellie hooked her finger into the side of your suit and tugged them upward creating friction between you and the fabric on your clit. The sensation made u grasp at the comforter underneath you. You tried to hard not to rock your hips, at least not yet. You were sure if you moved any more than what ellie was already doing you would snap. Ellie brought her free hand to her mouth and spat. The sound caused you to twitch. Which she noticed.

“How does this feel baby? Do my fingers feel good? They making u wet baby? Hmm?” It wasn’t a condescending tone. She wanted to make sure you felt good. Really.

Ellie had began to circle her slick digits around your sensitive mound. She would occasionally drag her fingers up and down the sides of your exposed lips. Sending you into a frenzy.

“Y-Yeah…” Your overwhelmed shy tone wasn’t enough to convince her that she should continue.

“Yeah? You sure?” her expression is almost teasing now. Eyebrow raised and grin apparent. You were under her spell.

“Yes! Yes…Feels too good Ellie.” You almost shout. Your voice is tinged with pain and pleasure. The good kind of pain. The you needed release and you needed it now, pain. Finally satisfied with your response Ellie massages you harder, tugs at your swimsuit harsher. The sight of your arched back and agape mouth only made the need to taste the continuous slick pouring out of you unbearable. Ellie needed to take action. Now.

You yelp as Ellie unexpectedly tears your swimsuit down your legs and wets her fingers in your slick. Then she is face to face with your dripping cunt.

“Im gonna kiss you down here now okay? I cant wait anymore…you look too delicious, soo beautiful.” The words ooze out of her perfect mouth.

You sit up to watch as Ellie places a delicate kiss on your clit. You’re shaking now. She repeats this up and down your pussy a few times never breaking eye contact. Each kiss sends you deeper and deeper into the pit of pure euphoria.

“Ohhh fuckk Ellie—.”

You think it cant get any better until Ellie flattens her tongue and begins to lap at the pool of slick pouring out of you. She sinks her tongue into your folds sucking, kissing and licking every surface of your overstimulated core. You are nearly screaming now. You hadn’t even come yet. It was approaching fast, you were trying so desperately to release, you were just so damn hot. Too hot. You pat the soft top of ellies hair and she stops her antics to meet your gaze.

“You dont like it?”

You shake your head harshly and tell her that you’ve never felt so good.

“Whats wrong then baby?” She gives you a look of genuine concern.

“M-Hot Ellie, I feel like im going to pass out.”

Ellie gives u those pitty eyes again and your weak. “Oh babyyy.” You hear her pout. She lays u flat on your back once more and pushes your body to the corner of the bed. At first you question her methods but then remember the savior device that persuaded you to come here in the first place.

Ellie leans over u to halt the rotation function of her fan and dials the speed up to 3. Now cool air is flooding your senses and bringing you back to earth. Ellie finds her position back in between your legs and continues her earlier routine. Instantly your brought back to your breaking point. Something about the heat between your legs and the cool air at your front was driving you insane.

“Better?” Ellie questions as she continues to suck hard on your clit. Already knowing the answer based on the way your body is reacting. You cant even answer you are so consumed in the pleasure of the movement of her fingers and the breeze of the fan. The cool air has made you dumb. Ellie had made you weak. Still, she needed to hear you say it. So she teases her middle finger at your entrance to get an answer out of you.

“I need you to tell me if you feel better pretty girl, or Im going to have to stop.”

That was the last thing you wanted. Your hands left the sheets and found their way to her hair, eyes meeting hers. You hum and whine shaking your head in protest.

“Better Ellie, So much better. Please dont stop.” You almost cry. Its all too much.

“Good girl.” Ellie Coos, then inserts her finger inside of you. With every centimeter entering u deeper and deeper your back arches higher and your mouth falls more open. When shes fully in you, she begins thrusting her long digit in and out curving the tip of her finger prodding where it feels the best.

“Shit your tight.” Ellie spits.

You become limp at her actions and your hands grip her auburn hair tight. You cant help but moan loudly at her actions. The feeling of her inside of you was heaven. Ellie couldn’t take seeing you like this, she had to give you more. So she brought her mouth down to your shaking legs and placed wet kisses on your thighs and all around your pussy until her mouth sucked where you wanted her most. You were a wreck. Exactly how she wanted you. She continued moving her longest digit in and out of you in that curling motion loving the way you clenched around her finger. When she thought you could handle it she detached her lips from your pussy and slipped in another finger.

“I need you to take this finger too baby, it’s going to feel so good okay?” Shes talking you through it like it’s your first time. Obviously you have touched yourself before. Sex wasn’t foreign to you, just rare. But something about this moment made it feel like you were discovering the act all over again, with Ellie as your guide.

This full sensation brought you back to a sitting up position so you could make eye contact as she exited and entered you over and over. It was a filthy sight. Her hair was completely stuck to her head and her mouth formed and ‘o’ shape. Ellies string of curses and moans were borderline pornographic.

“Yeah Hmm? Shit listen to how well your- fuck-fucking taking my fingers in baby.”

She was turned on just by the sight of her effect on you. Ellie was getting off on it. The sounds coming from your cunt drove her mad. She wouldn’t let up, she moved back down to taste you again. You began to move your hips chasing that same need you saw from the girl below you. You could feel the fuse about to blow inside of you as you humped Ellies fingers and face.

“Els Im gonna-“ your voice had reached an impossibly high pitch.

“Please please come for me baby let me taste you.”

Remembering how good the cool air made you feel earlier, she pushed you closer to the edge of the bed until you were almost hanging off. Your body was so close to the fan you could feel the fast blowing air everywhere now. On your nipples, stomach, and even through the hair on top of your pussy. You focus on the feeling of the cool from the fan for a moment to long that u see water. You saw the beloved stream you swam in just today. Your own heaven. You see Ellie. You had reached your climax and you didn’t even know it until you were coming all over Ellies hands and face.

“Shit-Ellie!” The speed of her fingers had doubled. You saw flashes of the creek and you swimming in it. Ellie had made you come so hard you were seeing things.

“Mmhmm baby you’re doing so good. So pretty like this.” She kept you like this until the pitch in your voice had become so high it was silent. Until you were a writhing panting mess chanting Ellies name over and over. Only when your hands loosened their tight grip on her hair did she slow the movement of her fingers inside of you.

Ellie helped you ride your high for a moment before retracting her fingers from you and kissing your swollen cunt one more time.

“You taste amazing.”

She smoothes her hands over your body making you shiver under her touch. She couldn’t help but stare at your fucked out state.

“You are so beautiful.”

You don’t even have words to respond to her compliments. Your sex drunk more than ever and completely non verbal. Instead u hum in acceptance. Which she laughs at.

After moments of admiring you she grabs her discarded boxers and begins to clean you up with them, too lazy to move up from the bed. This was fine to you because while u were nonverbal, you also couldn’t move.

The fan was still on full blast and Ellie craved to share the cool air with you. You had gone completely limp. Exhausted from Ellie having her way with you. So Ellie laid next you and pulled your body against hers. Skin to skin contact making you hum. Your face had gone to that perfect place in her neck. You took in her smell before she turned her head to look at you. Her eyes were lidded and sleepy, but also in awe of your state and her affect on you. She smirked slightly and placed a slow breathy kiss on your lips. When you broke apart your eyes were too heavy to open them again for the night. Ellie took one last look at you before sleep over came her.

“Thank youu, fan.” She whispered before pulling you closer and falling into deep sleep.

Thank god for fans. Thank god for the creek. Thank god for Ellie. (and her fingers) You thought and snuggled into her before dozing off completely.

Maybe this summer won’t be too unbearable.

🌿

#ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie x you #the last of us #tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams smut #ellie williams oneshot #wlw #lesbian #wlw ns/fw #top!ellie

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wonder-kid-pugh · 8 months

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The Beautiful Game and Books - Alessia Russo x reader

Hey guys! So I had this idea for a fic which I really liked. But as I was writing it I realized how long it was and saw that I could make it into a 2 parter. And when I put it to a vote you said to post the first part so here it is!!!!! This is my own little take on a jock x Nerd fic so I hope you enjoy! I am working on the second part but I am swamped at the moment but I will post it as soon as possible. But for now I hope you like this!

You let out a sigh as you entered the familiar house hoping it wouldn't be long. Your evening was busy with plans of laying in bed rewatching either The Vampire Diaries or Harry Potter, whatever you were in the mood for honestly.

But your plans to rush home had been interrupted when your mother had texted you to make a detour.

The Russo residence was a place you frequented often. What with your mother being best friends with Carol you were over to their house often whether it was just for regular catch-ups or for weekly dinners. It also wasn't lost on you that with their daughter being the same age as you and going to the same school that your parents had hoped you and Alessia would become best friends just like them.

Probably to give them more excuses to hang out.

But unfortunately for your mothers, their plan didn't work. You and the youngest Russo just didn't click really. Maybe it was just that your personalities didn't work. You were always quiet and very timid and enjoyed reading and kept to yourself. While Alessia was always the friendly outgoing loveable girl who was always outside playing football.

Don't get it wrong, you didn't hate each other. You were civil with each other when at each other's houses and when the two families were together. But your conversations didn't go much past how you were finding classes you shared or some stupid school gossip.

Honestly you probably got on better with her brothers than you did with her.

You were so familiar with the house that you entered without knocking and called out, "Mum?" You couldn't help but roll your eyes at the small joke of 'which one' your mother and her best friend shared as you walked into the kitchen where they were.

"Might as well be talking to Carol. At least she wouldn't forget to pick me up from school and leave me abandoned" you tease as Carol chuckles as she gives you a side hug just to tease your mother further.

But your mother takes it in stride as she rolls her eyes with a scoff. "It was one time. You would swear I'm neglecting you. I just got the days mixed up".

Which you fully understood you knew that you were usually busy studying in the library after school most days but after the library had closed for some small renovations for the week it meant you got to go home after school. Something your mother had forgotten and you were ready to walk home when Carol who was already picking up Alessia offered you a lift.

But that doesn't mean you couldn't tease your mother for it.

"Your only child. Left forgotten and abandoned at the school gates. About to walk the dangerous streets alone home if it wasn't for Carol" you sigh dramatically as you lean into the Russo woman who laughed at your dramatics.

"Maybe Carol can look after you then" Your mother quipped back as she sipped her tea.

But Carol quickly interjects with a shake of the head. "Oh I don't think so I think 3 is enough for me. Besides" she starts with a grin, "she's definitely your daughter. She's almost as dramatic as you".

"Hey!" You and your mother call out in unison. "I am not dramatic/ Almost?" You and your mother glare at each other before it's turned on the Russo as the two of you hear her giggle at you both.

"So how has school been?" Carol asks trying to quickly move on with the conversation.

You just shrug, "Eh. Fine. Nothing new. Learned some stuff, corrected a few teachers and helped a few people after school. The usual".

The best friends shared a look of amusement over their cups of tea. Honestly where your studious nature and love of books came from was lost on your mother. It definitely wasn't from her and your father wasn't exactly the brightest either. But you had always been academically gifted even going so far as to point out corrections to teachers in school.

A small part of her thought it was because of your father leaving when you were younger but that wasn't something either of you talked about.

Your teachers had gone to your mother a few times saying you would be better off looking into schools with a bit more challenging course work for you or at the very least maybe skipping a year or maybe two. But you were perfectly content where you were.

You and your mother against the world.

"So the call I got from the school earlier then?" Your mother prodded, "About Mr Wickerman?"

But you just shrug nonchalantly, "Personally I don't know what his problem is".

Your mother raised an eyebrow at you, "Well do you want to give me a heads up on the 'inappropriate writing assignment' you handed in so I'm not blindsided when I have to meet with him tomorrow?"

You held up your hands, "Hey I hit the brief!" You sighed as you were fixed with a look by both women. "The assignment was to write a short story about a secret gradually coming out" you explained to which they both nodded prompting you to continue. You ran a hand through your hair, "So I wrote about a girl's parents finding out she was dating someone. Only when they are finally introduced, they meet her girlfriend rather than her boyfriend". You shrug, "If anything I hit the brief twice. It was a secret gradually coming out AND an actual coming out! Not my fault Mr Wickerman is a homophobic prick".

Your mother gives you a stern glare before you relient a bit like a small child being scolded, "Sorry". For such a quiet and intelligent girl, your mother was forever scolding you for your language.

She always told you had a mouth like a sailor.

Your mother sighed before giving you a reassuring smile letting you know you weren't in trouble, "I'll sort it out".

And while you knew you were in the right you couldn't help but feel guilty in that instant. Knowing that your mother already had enough to worry about without having to defend your actions to the school.

Even if it was against homophobic asshole who should just retire already.

But like always it's as if your mother can read your mind as she reaches over and squeezes your hand with a soft look in her eye. "I've never liked him anyways" she jokes, making you let out a laugh.

"So now that I'm not in trouble…does that mean I can go home? I have plans" you try but your mother just scoffs.

"And plans you mean to sit in your room and watch Netflix" she says looking at you knowingly.

But you just smile at her, "You just know me so well". "Does that mean I can go?" You try again angling yourself towards the door when your mother stops you again.

"Actually no. There's something we need to talk to you about…"

That gets your attention as your eyes flicker to the Russo woman before landing back on your mother, "We? What's going on?"

But your question is interrupted by the front door opening once more and another call of "Mum I'm home" breaches your ears. It isn't long after the youngest Russo makes an appearance quickly moving to her mother and greeting her with a kiss on the kiss and then greeting your mother with a smile.

You just about barely got a nod of recognition.

Not that you really cared.

"Hey Honey how was training?" Carol asked as Alessia was already moving towards the stairs.

"Good" she answered simply before throwing a thumb over her shoulder, "I'm going to have a shower. I'm meeting some of the girls in town".

But just like you she was quickly stopped by her mother. "Actually Alessia we need to have a quick chat first".

She paused her movements but did as her mother told her. She briefly looked at you as if silently asking if you knew but you just gave her a shrug. Letting her know you were both clueless about whatever this is.

Carol's voice dropped slightly as she fixed her eyes on the brunette. "Less, the school have been on to us about your grades".

That was all Alessia needed to know what this was about. However, you could tell by how her eyes quickly glanced at you that she didn't feel fully comfortable talking about it in front of you. But that didn't stop her from pleading her case.

"I know Mum" she said quickly probably not wanting her to say anything else in front of me. "It's just with football it's hard to keep up all the time".

Carol quickly nodded and it was one of the things you loved about her, she didn't show any signs of anger only understanding. "We know Less. And we are so proud of you and we know how hard you work". "And even though we know how hard you work doesn't mean you don't need a hand" she says soothingly.

Once again her eyes flickered at you, "Mum can we please talk about this later?"

But she stood firm, "Less we decided that you need a tutor if you're going to keep up with both school and football".

You could tell she was displeased with the idea immediately. "Mummmm" she groaned and you had to withhold the scoff as you swore you could almost hear the childish footstomp to go with her tantrum.

"Alessia we only want what's best for you. In football and in school" Carol said firmly letting her know she wasn't budging on this.

She's quiet for a few second before sighing, "Fine. I'll find one later".

But it seems it was your mother's turn now. "Actually we already have one in mind" your mother said as she turned to you.

You could feel your eyes widen as they all turn to you. "Me?" You asked pointing to yourself.

"Your top of your class and don't think I don't know that Luca and Giorgio go to you when they need help with homework" Carol says as you blush.

"Not really…" you try but from the look of the two older women their minds were already made up.

"How about the two of you go upstairs and get started?" Carol said looking at the both of you. When you looked to your mum you knew she wouldn't save you.

"But mum!" Alessia whined once more but Carol was having none of it.

"Alessia don't be rude" she scolds as she nods towards you who awkwardly stood there as Alessia eyed you up.

Albeit grudgingly, Alessia sighed and nodded, "Fine". She then turned and quickly went up the stairs making sure to make her footsteps thump that little bit harder to let everyone know of her displeasure.

You gave them a tight lipped smile as you turned and followed her. Already dreading this. Like you siad you had nothing against Alessia but you knew if it wasn't for Carol you definitely wouldn't be helping her right now. Especially as it wasn't like you wanted to do this either.

You last about 45 minutes before you made the excuse of going home to plan future sessions which Alessia is only too happy to accept. You couldn't take the awkward looks and the weird tension. And it was clearly mutual as Alessia just busied herself on her phone instead of trying to actually talk to you apart from short answers anytime you tried to make conversation.

But you knew there would be no getting out of this. The Russo's were practically family after all. So when your mother asked how did it go on the drive home. Of course you gave her a fake smile and a nod saying it went well.

You made sure your mother seemed happy with your answer before you leaned your head up against the window and prayed that tomorrow with Alessia would be a bit better.

Who knows maybe you'll actually end up friends by the end of this?

~~~

Yeah you can forget about you and Alessia being friends.

Your day went about normally. You kept your head down and carried on with your classes as you usually do. Talking to the few people you usually talk to. You wouldn't classify them as friends, you didn't know them well enough for that.

It was more people you sat beside in some classes. They were the kind of people you would give a nod to in the hallway as well as just casual conversation in classes. Just so you wouldn't have to sit in that awkward silence.

The closest thing you would say you would have to a friend would be Ben. You sat beside each other in English and were both a bit of loners. And you bonded over the fact that you both hated Me Wickerman. As well as the fact that you both had the same teasing sense of humour. But again you wouldn't really talk outside of school apart from the odd time.

It was the end of the day and everyone was rushing out of class to their lockers to try and grab their things and run home. You walked out of English with Ben as you teased him how you scored higher than him (like always) when you spotted Alessia talking with her friends.

You waved goodbye to the boy as you ducked your way through the crowd. You had agreed yesterday that you would meet with Alessia to study but you hadn't said where so you decided you better catch her before she goes home as well as probably get her phone number so stuff like this can be avoided.

You didn't think it would be a good idea to get her number from her brother's. As they were still looking for revenge for the prank you pulled on both of them.

Let's just say they learned never to ask you to put in a good word for them with their crushes again.

But it was times like these that reminded you that Alessia probably forgot you went to the same school. Because she probably would have been more careful about being overheard if she did.

You had been walking up to her little group of friends when you could overhear their conversation. "Cmon Less everyone's going!"

You slowed down not wanting to interrupt their conversation. But you couldn't help but overhear them.

But the brunette just sigh as she rumaged through her locker, "I can't I have plans".

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at her disinterest. It wasn't like this was your first choice either. You didn't exactly get a choice in this either.

Her friends just groan, "But everyone is going! You have to come. Just come!"

While you can't see most of their faces, you could already tell they were slowly trying to convince Alessia. Not wanting their ringleader to miss out. But you weren't worried. This is Alessia. You knew you weren't the closest but you knew her. There was no way she would just blow you off like that…

"Yeah…maybe" Alessia started but you could see her resolve crumble as she looks at her friends. "Fine" she sighs, "I'll sort something out".

You honestly couldn't believe it. You knew you didn't know the football player well but you've known each other since you were babies. And Alessia was always the nice friendly girl. You honestly couldn't believe what you were hearing.

You couldn't stop the loud scoff from slipping out. But it must have been louder than you thought as it seems to catch the brunette's attention.

A tiny part of you enjoys how her eyes widen and an obvious blush tints her face at the fact she's been caught. But you just hardened your glare as your crossed your arms ignoring all the curious looks you received from her friends.

"You know I don't exactly want to do this either. But I thought you would at least have the common decency to at least not blow me off when your the one that needs help" you snipe. But you can tell but the way that Alessia couldn't look you in the eyes that you wouldn't be getting an answer you liked. "Whatever" you scoff before turning away to walk home.

Thankfully it was one of the days you were walking home so you didn't have to deal with your mother investigating your foul mood as she had work. And how you clocked Carol's car before she spotted you and you steered clear of the car. The last thing you wanted right now was to be in the same car as the brunette.

You were fuming the entire way home once again thankful that no one was home and you already had all your homework for tomorrow done. As the second you got home you slammed the door behind you, rush up the stairs taking 2 at a time and flopped into bed hoping that Harry Potter would help forgot the foul mood the football player had put you in.

~~~

You sighed as you heard a knock on the door. You leaned your head against your propped up fist not even turning to the door, "Mum I'll be done in a minute I just need to finish this up".

"Yeah not your mum…"

You looked over your shoulder unimpressed as you see Alessia standing nervously by your door. But don't say anything as you instead turn back to your work. "What are you doing here Russo?"

"I uh tried to find you after school but that guy you hang out with uh Ben? He said you left early" Alessia reveals.

You can hear her sigh as she moves behind you. "Look I know your upset with me. And you have every right to be". You heard her sigh as you pause your work again as you look at her over your shoulder letting her know you were listening.

"You were right" she sighed as she played with her hands. "It's not exactly like you wanted to help me either and I should be grateful that you're even willing to help me". Her cheeks darken with a blush as she pursues her lips, "That is if you still want to help me that is".

But that seems to do it for you as you scoff and drop your pen finally turning back to you. "What? Finally realise that you actually need my help?" You scoff as you shake your head, "I don't know why I expected any different".

"It's not like that" Alessia tries but you don't let her off lightly.

"Oh give me a break Russo" you spit out harshly. "Your only here cause you need something. Because no matter how sweet and kind you maybe seem everyone is the same. Everyone's looking for something and I've already been burned before and I rather not go through that again".

Your just about able to bite your tongue and you silently fume thinking back on that time. But you shake your head once again scoffing at the Football player, "You haven't even said your sorry".

"You're right" Alessia said after a small pause. "I'm sorry" she said, "I'm really sorry". There's another brief silence before Alessia asks, "Why didn't you tell my mum?"

While you were able to dodge her yesterday successfully, it didn't work today as she had caught me when she came around to drop something off to mum. She had asked how it was going with Alessia and I didn't have the heart to tell her what happened.

She only wanted what was best for her daughter.

"Because she's like a second mum to me and I didn't have the heart to tell her" you tell her honestly. "She adores you Alessia. I didn't have it in me to tell her that the apple of her eye decided to ditch me last minute".

"Thank you" she said shyly but you could tell she was genuinely grateful for you not snitching on her.

You nod before you were interrupted by your mother shouting up to you that dinner was ready. Alessia didn't even have a chance to escape as your mother already had a plate ready for her.

Dinner was another awkward affair but thankfully most of the heat was off you as your mother focused on Alessia asking about what she's been up to and how the studying has been going. Afterwards you were both excused to go back upstairs to study.

You both awkwardly sit in your room once more neither of you knowing what to say. Until it was Alessia who once again broke it.

"You said before" she starts cautiously, "that you already got burned once before". She eyed you carefully, "What did you mean by that?"

Your eyes close for a second as you really regret letting that slip out. But you knew you had no other option really. "I think it's obviously I'm not the most popular in school" you said jokingly trying to ease yourself into it. "So you can imagine my surprise when one of the guys on the soccer team started talking to me".

It took everything in Alessia not to correct you but she knew she was already on thin ice. That and it seemed that it wasn't exactly the time to joke about something so small.

You played with your fingers as you shrugged, "It was nice. And I let myself believe he was actually interested in me. When it turns out he was just interested in the fact that I could do his homework for him".

You couldn't stand the pitiful look the Brunette sent you. "Like I said Alessia. Everyone wants something". You shrug emotionlessly, "Probably should have suspected something earlier. I mean who would be interested in me right?"

There's a second silence which made you think Alessia was about to agree with you. But then you heard shuffling and you looked up to see her standing from your desk chair moving to sit on the bed beside you.

"I'm sorry" she started gentle as the two of you sat shoulder to shoulder on your bed. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. That he was too much of a jackass to see how amazing you are. And I'm really sorry that I was a right idiot as well. You didn't deserve any of that".

You just accepted the apology with a smile as you looked down at your clasped hands together.

You couldn't help but let out a tiny snort, "Don't you find this funny?" You grin as Alessia tilts her head at you. "I mean we've known each other since babies but I'd say we know hardly anything about each other other than the obvious".

Alessia thinks for a second before humming as she realizes how right you were. Beyond the basics, she couldn't think of a single thing she could say about you.

Which was highly concerning seeing as like you said you have literally known each other since you were born.

"How about we change that so?" Alessia asked as it was now her turn to grin as you turned to her confused. But she simply held out her hand for a handshake. "Hi, I'm Alessia Russo. But my friends call me Less".

You couldn't stop the grin blooming on your face at how stupid this whole interaction was. But that didn't stop you from shaking her hand. "It's very nice to meet you Alessia".

Alessia gives you a wide grin one that you've only seen when she's around her family or playing football. "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship".

~~~

Honestly you could tell why Alessia was failing.

"Less! C'mon you need to focus!" You groaned as you can see her start to doodle on her page.

This was your second study session with the football player and you were already losing hope. It didn't take much for the Russo to lose focus. It didn't help that for the past half an hour her brothers kept coming in for the dumbest excuses. It seems that they heard about your struggles to help tutor their sister and used it to their advantage to exact revenge.

Any other time you would have found their distractions hilarious but not right now when you're failing to help Alessia.

"I'm sorry" Alessia sighed as she dropped the pen. She ran her hands through her hair in frustration and you couldn't help but feel bad, "I just can't seem to get this".

You take a deep breath as you slowly let yourself calm down. "I know I'm sorry. I'm sorry".

Alessia pouted as she stared at the book. "I don't know how you understand all this. I can't even keep focus long enough to actually get through it".

You roll your eyes as you lean against your fist. "I'm starting to think that the only time you're really focused is…" but you trail off as your eyes land on a random football in the corner of her room.

Alessia looks at you as you fall silent. But she jolts when you suddenly pop up from your seat. "What's wrong?"

But you don't answer as you grab both the football and the textbook in front of the brunette and stand up. "New plan. Get up c'mon". Alessia eager to get away from all her failed attempts at notes, gets up and follows you.

Her brother's both give you strange looks but you just wave them off as you lead her to their back garden.

"Here. Catch" you said as you throw Alessia the ball.

She just about catches it as she starts to mess with the ball in her hands. "Okay? So what now?"

You shake your hand at her as you try to explain it to her. "Can you do that thing? Where you mess with the ball? Just like kick it around?"

Alessia just scrunches her face as she tilts her head. "You mean juggling? Like juggle the ball?"

To be honest you're not even listening to her really as you flick to the page you left off at. "Yeah sure that". You look up as Alessia to see her giving you a strange look but eventually just starts playing with the ball.

You give her a minute or two to just mess about with the ball before you focus on the page in front of you. "You have to study the formation of a waterfall right?" You ask as you look down at the page. Alessia just hums but that's enough to show she's listening.

You smile as you start to read out of the textbook. Your smile widens when Alessia without looking up from the ball asks you to repeat the last part which proves to you she's listening.

You do as she says as you continue to read. Occasionally stopping in order to reread a section or to answer a question Alessia has.

When you finally finish the section you put the textbook aside as you stick your leg out and poke the ball away from Alessia who looks up at you with a pout. You couldn't help but chuckle as you pick up the ball. "Okay then. Tell me how a waterfall forms".

But her shoulders drop as she sighs with her hands on her hips. "You already know I can't".

But you just shrug with a smile throwing her the ball, "Humour me".

Alessia frowns at you but then slowly starts to explain as she repeats back what you just read to her. You can't prevent the smile spreading across your face as you almost dance on the spot. "Less! That's right!"

Her head snaps up at you, "Wait seriously?"

You clap your hands together with a nod, "Yes! That was practically perfect. Like it was right out of the book".

Alessia blushes at the small praise as she smiles, "I don't know how I did that". She scratches the back of her head, "I guess I just understood it better when you explained it to me".

You smile and nod, "You're an auditory learner".

She scrunches her face at you as she tilts her head obviously confused. "What?"

You can't help but giggle at her finding it a bit adorable at how clueless she was. "You learn better when someone is reading or explaining it to you rather than when you read it" you explained.

Alessia nods before throwing you back the ball. "Then what was the whole point of the ball?"

You shrug as your throw the ball between your hands. "You were too worked up. I thought messing around with the ball would help you relax a bit. Seems I was right".

Alessia smiles and can't help but squeal as she hugs you, "You are an actual genius! Thank you!"

You're shocked but you slowly hug her back. You let her hug you for a bit longer before you pat her back, "I try. Now c'mon we've got more studying to do".

Alessia groans but quickly shuts up when she narrowly dodges the ball you throw at her head.

~~~

"You do know we could just reschedule this right?" You said as Alessia makes sure she has everything she needs.

But Alessia just shakes her head as she tosses her gearbag into the boot, "I can't". She shuts the boot as she sighs and you can see it in her eyes how stressed she is, "We have that test coming up and I can't afford to fail".

You couldn't help but soften at the sight of her. You could see how worked up Less was about this test. She knew she was good at football and that is what she wanted to do. But she also knew that scouts would look at more than just her football ability but would also look at her academic ability.

But more importantly she didn't want to let her family down.

……or you

"Less" you say softly as you grab one of her hands. "You've been working so hard lately. We can all see it. You have been doing so good and I just know you're going to pass that test".

You're happy to see the small uptick in Alessia's lips as her eyes shine a little brighter. "You really think so?"

You don't know why but a small part of you feels warm at the fact that she seeks your approval. That your opinion really means that much to her. "Of course I do" you say gently, letting your genuinity shine through truly wanting her to know how much you really mean it.

You grin as you bump your shoulder against hers not wanting her to be nervous on the way to her match. "Do you seriously think I would be joining you and your dad on an hour's drive to watch a soccer match if I didn't have full faith in you?" You scoff in mock disbelief, "How dare you!"

Alessia laughs as she nudges you back as you lean back against the car.

You couldn't explain it. It was just something about the way she smiled and laughed made your chest feel lighter. It just made you want to keep her smiling and laughing always.

If you were being really honest, you wanted to be the reason she was smiling and laughing.

"And it's football not soccer weirdo" Alessia corrects you.

Honestly you didn't really care whatever you called it. You just liked to rile the poor girl up for your own amusement. "Oh so when my mother calls it soccer you have no problem. But when I do it, it's suddenly wrong".

But Alessia just tsks and shakes her head sagely, "That's because she's American. You on the other hand have lived here your entire life and should know better".

You roll your eyes and click your tongue at her, making her laugh. You open your mouth to argue but you're interrupted by her dad coming out to the car saying you better set off now if she doesn't want to be late. The two of you climb into the back seats getting your books out to study on the drive to the game.

Her dad tried to make small talk with you, probably not used to the quiet in the car. But it's surprisingly Alessia who shushes him.

You and Mario lock eyes in the mirror before you look over at her amused as she is fully concentrated on her (your) notes. As predicted she only lasted another 20 minutes before she begins to whine and beg you to read them out to her. Claiming as always it's easier when you read them to her.

You raise an eyebrow at her but the second she pouts at you, you crumble holding out your hand to take the notes. To which she passes them to you, a bit too happy in your opinion.

You start to read as Alessia leans up against you so she can follow along on the page while also looking at the different diagrams and graphs. Honestly you had become so use to her lying her head on your shoulder but you still had to school your face every time you could feel her breath brush against your neck.

The first few times it had happened you had thought you had actually bored her to death and she had fallen asleep. But with the occasional question or asking you to explain something to her, it was enough to know she was still following along.

It was almost funny how well the two of you worked together. It was almost as if you worked off each other. It was all the small things. How Alessia would turn the page for you (although you had a feeling that was also because she didn't want to compromise her comfy position). Or how when strand of hair fell in her face you would gently brush them behind her ear. Small little actions done without even having to communicate with each other.

Or how you knew when Alessia had a problem with a certain part as she would bring over your favorite treats as a silent apology for all the questions and help she was about to ask you for.

Or how Alessia would wordlessly take some books to carry for you cause you are the biggest bookworm she knew and didn't know how you carried all these books as she even struggled to take all of them.

It was all those small little actions which had not gone unnoticed by your mother's.

But that's entirely whole other problem.

Sooner than you think Mario lets you know you're about 5 minutes away. So you decide that enough has been done as you put the notes aside. Alessia tries to object but you just shush her as you tell her she should take a break and relax before she has to get ready for the game.

She lifts her head to pout at you but let out a sigh as she drops her head right back into the burrow of your neck. The car is silent for the rest of the drive as you allow her to get focused on the game. Even you take the few minutes to rest your head back and close your eyes. Not even opening them when you feel Alessia start to play with the rings on your fingers.

But you don't say anything as you just smile and close your eyes once more. A few minutes later you can feel the car roll to a stop as Alessia squeezed your hand thinking you might have dozed off.

The two of you stretch feeling slightly stiff from being stuck in the back seats for a while. But as Alessia takes off her seatbelt, you gently touch her arm stopping her from getting out.

"Good luck" you smile at her as you squeeze her arm, "you're going to smash it".

Alessia doesn't say anything but judging by the megawatt smile spreading across her face she appreciated the encouragement. With one small squeeze on your hand in thanks, she gets out of the car and grabs her gear before running over to some of her teammates.

You couldn't help but follow her as you watch as she joins over to some of her teammates before they rush off to the dressing rooms.

The car is quiet for a second before Mario snorts out a laugh. You look at him quizzically as he looks back at you in the mirror amused. "You haven't a clue about football do you?" He asks, grinning at you. You shake your head but you couldn't help but smile.

"Not a clue".

Mario laughs as he shakes his head as he nods his head, "Alright then. C'mon let's go find seats".

And after 90 minutes you still hadn't a clue. Honestly you didn't see the appeal. Chasing a ball around for 90 minutes. But that didn't mean you didn't find ways to entertain yourself. For one you found it highly amusing how worked up Mario got over the game as he acted as if it was the be all and end all.

And what also surprised you was how sassy Alessia got when playing. You spotted the sweet polite girl often talking back to the referee and making (what you could only guess) snippy comments to the other teams players.

But you did find it sweet how when she scores, she looked up to find her dad. Although you were probably easy to find due to Mario's loud cheering.

Honestly it was kind of refreshing to see the girl smiling. With the amount of studying the two of you had been doing and how much she was stressing over her upcoming test, it had been a while since you had seen her properly smile or look so relaxed.

But honestly it was worth standing out in the cold for the better part of 2 hours as when Alessia came over to us and Mario made a whole song and dance over her.

"Dad!" Alessia groaned as Mario cheered and swept her into a massive hug gaining looks from everyone around. "Dad, stop it!" Alessia whined as her face burns red. Her eyes narrowing when she sees you giggling at her embarrassment.

"Nothing wrong with showing everyone how proud I am of you" he says sternly but you can tell he's enjoying messing with her.

You take that as your chance to join in on the ribbing, "Yeah superstar. I mean you did score the winning goal after all". It seems that Alessia's mood considerably brightens at the reminder.

Mario laughs, "Yeah I don't think I have ever seen this one so excited. Much less over football".

You shrug, "Still don't see the appeal of Football".

But obviously that was the wrong thing to say as Alessia took that as an opportunity to try and explain to you every reason why football was appealing.

Even as you climb back into the car, Alessia continues on why football is the greatest sport alive as you nod along. Until you're completely drained and now the roles are reversed as you rest your head against hers. Alessia pausing her rant to let you settle softly against her.

She still continues on but in a softer tone until she sees you drift off. She feels your head start to slip off her shoulder as she wraps an arm around you and pulls you against her.

She practically holds her breath as you shift in your sleep. Her face darkens crimson when she realised your face is buried in her neck as your breath hitting her neck sends shivers down her spine. She tries to shift back a bit but realises she can't when she sees that you have her shirt balled up in your hands leaving her no chance to snuggle back up with you.

When Mario looks back, he smiles softly as he sees the two of you sound asleep in each other's arms peacefully leaning into each other for comfort.

~~~

Your eyes widen and you blink at the girl who shakes her head ag your reaction. "Sorry. Say that again? Because I definitely must have miss heard you". You shake your own head as you with out a small chuckle, "Cause I could have sworn you said you were going to teach me football".

It was a usually weekend dinner with the two families. But with the weather being unusually nice they had decided to move if outside to take advantage of the rare sunny day. So while both of your mother gossiped about God knows what and Gio and Luca helped Mario with a barbeque, Alessia had decided to drag you out to the garden.

Although you weren't expecting this.

But the footballer just smiled amusedly at you as she grinned at you, "No you heard right. That's exactly what I said".

You raise your eyebrows at her but you continue smiling at her, "You are insane".

"C'mon!" Alessia groans as she throws the ball between her hands. "You help me study for classes. I think it's my turn to teach you something".

You pouted and stomped your foot with a whine a bit like a petulant child but you didn't really care. Even though you rolled your eyes when you saw Alessia giggle at your antics. "But that's different! I'm helping you study for your education! That's important!"

Alessia pouted now tilting her head at you, "Football is important too".

You fixed her with a look, "Too you! Football isn't important to me!" You clarified knowing she had a point. Her whole life practically revolves around the sport.

But Alessia ignores your entire argument and instead grins smugly at you, "You called it Football".

You let out a loud groan that I'm sure your mothers could hear from their seats across the garden. "Really? That's all you got from that?"

But she doesn't say anything, only shrugs her shoulders with a grin. She drops the ball and starts juggling it with ease. "See look, it's not that hard!" She kicks it higher and catches it, "You're always saying I'm too clumsy. So if I can do it then so can you".

I raise an eyebrow at her, "First of all I stand by that statement. You are the clumiest person I've ever met. But at least on a soccer field you know what you're doing. I haven't an athletic bone in my body!"

Alessia grins widely, "Well that's about to change cause we're doing it!"

You groan but Alessia takes no notice as she kicks you the ball to which you squeal and slap the ball away. Alessia gives you a very unimpressed look as you just shrug at her as if to say 'what?' Before she rolls her eyes and goes to get the ball.

For the next hour and a half the two of you became the entertainment for both your families as they watched Alessia fail to teach you football.

"No no no you're meant to pass with the inside of your foot!"

"Hit it with the laces"

"You have to have power behind the pass or else it won't make it that far….imagine it's Mr Wickerman…NOT THAT HARD!"

Eventually you flopped onto the ground as you fail to get the ball off the Russo and she gives you a particularly hard shoulder that sends you to the ground.

"Okay I think I'm done" you say as you curl up on the grass. "Just leave me here to die peacefully".

Alessia just rolls her eyes at your dramatics, "It wasn't that bad".

You barely lift your head to look at her before dropping it back down with a thump, "Oh yes it was".

Oh course it was then her brother's decided to join you as Luca messes with your hair and Giorgio sits on your stomach as you let out a grunt before pushing him off you. "No she's right, that was painful to watch".

"She wasn't that bad" Alessia tries although very weakly. It was obvious that anything athletic wasn't your strong suit.

"Up for a 2v2 then?" Luca suggest as he tosses the ball in his hands. "Gio and I versus you two?"

"But those teams aren't fair!" Alessia argues immediately to which you lift your head in offense.

"You said I wasn't that bad!"

She sends you a sorry smile, "Yeah I lied". You scoff but wave her off letting her know you were only messing. You were genuinely terrible. And you didn't know how Alessia lasted so long with you.

It wasn't long after that you were all called for dinner as you ate together. Although it seemed this time it blended much easier with both you and Alessia actually conversing. Unlike before where it would be a civil conversation now the two of you actually sat beside each other.

Only after Alessia had to wrestle Luca out of his regular seat beside you.

"But I always sit there!" Luca complains as Alessia smiles in victory over having successfully pushed him off the chair beside you.

"Not anymore" Alessia mocks as she sits happily in the chair as you giggle at the siblings.

"Mom!" Luca whines while Carol just shakes her head.

"Luca it's just a chair" Carol sighs but has a hint of a smile on her face. Clearly amused by her children's antics.

"But I always sit there!" Luca argues once more. He looks at you, "Tell them Sherlock!"

You shake your head at his nickname for you but hold up your hands declaring neutrality, "Sorry Watson".

He looks at you betrayed as Alessia wraps an arm around you pulling you into her slightly as she smirks smuggly up at her brother. "Sorry, looks like she has a new favorite Russo now".

Luca sighs sadly before he eventually takes his new seat beside his brother as he mopely eats his food.

Everything after that was fine apart from the few teasing comments thrown around.

It was later in the evening as you recovered from your evening of playing soccer and nursing your little food baby that Alessia suggested the two of you watch a movie.

You were playing on your phone as she dropped beside you on the couch. "Here" she says as she holds out a bowl for you.

You peek into the bowl, "What is it?"

"Skittles" Alessia answers simply before holding up her own bowl, "Don't worry I took out all the green ones".

You smiled softly at that. "You remembered?" You asked as you recall telling her in one of your study sessions that you loved Skittles but hated the green ones.

"Of course" she smiled at you before turning back to the TV, "I also remember you saying you love Harry Potter so which one are we going to watch?"

You smile softly before telling her your favorite one as she puts it on. You watch the film for a little while before Alessia moves beside you but your eyes remain locked on the screen. She calls your name and you hum showing that you're listening.

But when she doesn't say anything you look over at her to see her fiddling with her fingers. "Can I ask you something?" She asked quietly and albeit a bit nervously.

Seeing how nervous the girl was, you paused the movie and gave her your full attention. "Of course Less. You can ask me anything" you say as you take one of her hands and rub your thumb over her knuckles.

She watches how your thumb glides over her knuckles softly before she sighs. "What's up with you and Luca?"

You practically choke on air as your eyes widen at the thought. "What?"

But Alessia just shrugs as she looks at the paused screen showing a freeze frame of the golden trio. "It's just...at dinner. He seemed really upset that he didn't get to sit beside you. And you have those nicknames for each other...." she explains before trailing off.

You scrunch your face before shrugging, "I mean it's nothing? It's like he said. We always sit together. And he always calls me Sherlock just because he thinks I'm smart and help him with homework sometimes. So I just call him Watson in return".

She looks at you for a second longer before looking into your eyes, "So there's... nothing going on between you two?"

It takes a second for you to grasp what she's insinuating but once it finally clicks you gasp. "What! Wha? No! No no Less! It's not like that at all!" You almost gag at the thought, "God no!"

You shake your head, "No Less it's nothing like that. We just get along really well. God he's like a brother to me!"

Alessia laughs at how off put you are but the mere suggestion of the two of you dating but judging by the small blush on her face you can still tell she's slightly embarrassed by asking that now.

You take her hand and again give it a small squeeze paired with a smile, "Trust me Less. I will never date Luca. Ever". You give her a wink, "Like you said. I have a new favorite Russo after all".

She smiles brightly at the reassurance. Her head drops into your shoulder as you nuzzle into the back of her head. You stay like that a moment before the two of you decide to turn back to the movie. It's not long after the two of you are leaning up against each other discussing which Houses you would both be in.

It wasn't till later your mother came to tell you it was time to go home when both your mother and Carol found the two of you curled up together as Alessia had her arms wrapped around you as you were settled into her leaning your head against her shoulder.

~~~

Honestly you didn't wake up today expecting to be rugby tackled. Let alone by a soccer player of all people.

You had been at your locker gathering books for your next classes when you had heard rapid steps coming up to you. You didn't even have time to turn as there was suddenly arms around your waist and your lifted off the ground.

You let out a yelp as you drop your books clinging onto the arms around you in fear of being dropped. When you finally are put back on the ground, you turn ready to rip whoever had the audacity to touch you, but you quickly stop when you see Alessia smiling brightly at you.

"Less! What the hell is up with you?" You whisper shout at her as you brace yourself on her arms trying to ignore the small thought in your head as you realise her hands were still on your waist.

But she doesn't say anything. Instead she just pulls out a sheet of paper as she holds it up doing a small little dance on the spot. "I passed!" She cheered as she shows you proudly the 84% marked at the top of the test.

Your eyes widen before you smile. "Less! You didn't just pass, you aced it!" You beam as you smile up at her. "Gosh Less I knew you could do it!"

Alessia is practically bouncing on the spot in glee before launching herself at you once more this time in a hug. The embrace nearly sends you to the floor if not for you balancing the two of you against your locker.

Honestly you weren't used to much affection apart from hugs from your mom and occasionally Carol.

But since you started to become closer with Alessia you were slowly getting more comfortable with touch. Purely because Alessia was very touchy. The girl had an affinity for hugs and small touches.

But it wasn't even that you just got use to the touches.

It was how patient she was with you when she found out you just weren't use to unfamiliar touch. How she noticed the first time she hugged you, you froze up. Or the time she grabbed your hand you flinched away. She was starting to think it was her until you sheepishly smiled and told her you just weren't used to touch.

It was then how she would always check to see if it was okay first. Instead of grabbing your hand she would offer it first. How she would usually wait for you to make the first move for a hug or anything physical as to make sure you were comfortable.

She was patient with you until you grew okay with her touch. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you probably had started to like it a bit too much.

Like in this instance, where you can feel yourself sink into the hug. Liking how safe and warm you felt in her arms. While you usually cursed your height difference as it gave the Russo girl something to tease you about, it worked perfectly for hugs. As you slotted together perfectly with your head tucked right into her neck. With hers rest on the top of your crown. In her excitement she gave you a kiss on the top of your head.

But reality seemed to hit you all at once as you started to recognize the looks and whispers from your classmates.

You suppose it was an unusual sight to see the resident nerd with the school's soccer superstar and It girl.

You cleared your throat shifting slightly uncomfortable under people's stares but still gave Alessia a smile. The girl was so escatic that she didn't even notice.

"Seriously I couldn't have done it without you, I don't know how to thank you" Alessia said, grateful.

You couldn't help but soften at that as you momentarily forget about all the eyes on you. You shook your head lightly, "This was all you Less. You worked hard for this". You squeezed her forearm lightly, "You deserve this. I'm proud of you".

That seemed to turn the girl shy as she smiled with a light blush dusting her face. She cleared her throat before realizing your books were still laid on the floor.

She quickly picked them up for you as she slipped them back into your hands with a smile, "I better go I'm going to be late to class I just had to tell you about the test". "But I'll still see you later then yeah?" She quickly asks as you zip up your bag.

That made you raise a brow. "You still want to study together? But you passed?"

There was a subtle roll of her eyes but you ignored it. What you couldn't ignore was how she bit the bottom of her lip almost as if she tried to contain a smile. "Yeah but I still need to keep the grade up now don't I?" She teased making it your turn to roll your eyes.

She giggled but smiled at you, "Despite what you might believe I actually enjoy our study sessions now and would hate for them to stop".

She smirked, "Besides, our mothers like us hanging out. And I'd say they will have a fit if we went back to how things used to be. They enjoy using us as an excuse to hang out I think".

You let out a laugh with a nod agreeing with her.

She started backpedaling as she realized she was about to be late for class. "So I'll see you later?"

You nodded, "Yeah I'll see you later".

She smiled and turned making her way through the sea of people. You couldn't describe how you feeling as you watched her walk down the corridor.

It wasn't until your breathing hitched as she turned to look at you over her shoulder. Even though she was half away down the hallway you could still see her beautiful blue eyes paired with her perfect beaming smile.

It was only then you realized how fucked you were as you came to the realization.

You were being to fall for Alessia Russo.

#alessia russo #alessia russo imagine #alessia russo imagines #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo x y/n

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wingedcat13 · 11 months

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Synovus: Siren Call (2)

[Synoverse? In the year of our lord 2023? It's more likely than you think! This one is in third person, set after Villains Never Retire. No idea what I’m talking about? Check out the first of the Synovus works here! I've still yet to do it as of posting, but both episodes of Siren Call will be on Ao3 here. Happy reading!]

A week after first arriving at her parents’ house, Minerva made the journey back to her own.

It wasn’t terribly far - a half-hour drive with no traffic, maybe - from where her parents now lived, still placed near to the coast. It wasn’t actually a ‘house’ either, more of a condo built in a line to save costs. It would’ve been cheaper to live further inland, but…

She’d had enough of that.

Besides, the place wasn’t actually hers. When she’d divorced Albion and come back to the coast, she’d also quit her job. With no contacts, no friends, and no savings that weren’t tied up in litigation, she would’ve had nowhere to go in her civilian identity. She also wasn’t sure if she was going to have to deal with a super-powered ex husband knocking at all hours, which was something most renters disapproved of, as a rule.

But where Minerva had no one, Athena had a lifeline. When she and Legionnaire had done volunteer work in the past, she’d always felt it was just part of her duty. An obligation that came with having superpowers. Sometimes you put the costume on to hit something, and sometimes you put the costume on to build something. Since neither of them had been dependent on their hero identity 24/7, they’d always declined any offers of compensation.

But that didn’t mean they’d been forgotten. Shepherd Flight was a volunteer group who specialized in organizing super powered individuals for rescue and relief operations - they mostly focused on the initial crisis, but weren’t afraid of working to help rebuild things too. Minerva had gone through floodwaters and hurricanes under their direction, and also used her strength to help hold up beams for building shelters. One of her favorite memories was helping plant a garden in a refugee camp.

Shepherd Flight was also known for its discretion. Several capes worked exclusively for them, staying out of hero or villain business in the traditional sense. Some of them maintained a separation between the mask and the civilian, but others didn’t.

So Minerva had gone to them, intending to ask if she could rest on a couch in their headquarters or something while she figured out her next move. Instead, a man named ‘Sun Dog’ had checked their records, asked her a few questions, and then handed her the keys to an address. Apparently, Shepherd Flight also aided ‘capes in distress.’

Minerva had scowled, but couldn’t really argue the point.

She’d looked into it since - the space they’d given her was most frequently used for helping move displaced persons who needed to travel, or temporary housing for other members of Shepherd Flight who needed a place unaffiliated with any identity. One of the questions she’d been asked was how she felt about potentially having a house full of strange guests on little-to-no notice. Minerva had grown up dealing with the Pacific Northwest’s forest fires, and had told Sun Dog she knew exactly how fast they could go. If refugees needed a place to stay, she’d gladly vacate.

So far, that hadn’t happened, though Sun Dog had also told her that someone would stop by occasionally with groceries, to keep the place stocked. And to check in on her.

She probably should’ve told them she was fine when she was whisked off to a supervillain’s private island. She hadn’t.

So she wasn’t surprised, per se, to open the door and see a stranger in the kitchen. Startled, perhaps. But neither of them attacked each other, so that was a good start.

“Uhm.” Said the person in the kitchen, holding a spoon awkwardly poised between their mouth and a pudding cup.

“Wrong door.” Minerva said automatically, holding the keys that had unlocked the front door and the guard mechanism.

“Is it?” The stranger asked hesitantly.

Minerva sighed, “No. I… lived here for a bit. As a… guest.”

“Oh!” The stranger lit up with a smile - and a touch of phantom flame that Minerva watched cautiously. “You must be the one who went missing! Yeah, they told me you might come back - hey, I’m Wi-Fire, by the way.”

They moved forward to offer a hand, slowing their approach when Minerva instinctively leaned away. Still, it wasn’t like she needed both hands to hold her bag, and once upon a time she’d been… better, if not exactly ‘good’ at this. So she took the offered hand, clasping it rather than shaking.

“Athena.” She returned, the introduction automatic. Instead of giving herself time to think about whether that was the right name to give, she forced herself onwards, remembering there were other details she was supposed to give on greeting. “She/Her.”

Wi-Fire’s grin broadened, and they bounced a little in place. “They/them!” They returned, even more cheerfully than before. “It’s the third bedroom that’s yours, right? I haven’t touched it, since he said you might come back, but I’ve only been here for about a week. That reminds me - have you called him yet? Sun Dog? He’s super worried about you, pun unintended.”

Minerva was, abruptly, reminded of Alexandria. “… No, I haven’t called him yet. I was just here to-“

She paused. What was she here to do? Spend a few hours staring at a wall, unobserved? Get the rest of her things and go? It wasn’t exactly much, just a few extra changes of clothes, a few books. She did want to make sure the space she’d used was clean, but given how little time she’d spent here, that shouldn’t take more than an hour. Two, if she stopped to do laundry.

Minerva had paused for too long. Wi-Fire just nodded, sympathetic. “Yeah, I feel that. I’m up in the attic - the other rooms are still empty, there’s nothing wrong with them or anything, I just.” They cut off, simply ending the sentence, as though a signal had been lost between one word and the next. They shrugged.

“Yeah.” Minerva echoed, thinking of how she’d chosen the room with the best view of the ocean, even if it was just a sliver.

Wi-Fire winces, “Crap. Sorry. Forgot we’re not supposed to really, like. Fraternize. I didn’t see anything?” Their last sentence is hopeful, as though an offering they want Minerva to take.

“It’s fine.” She assures them, readjusting her grip on her bag. “If you’ve seen me, you can pass on to Sun Dog that I’m fine, right?”

For a heartbeat, she thinks she’s pulled it off, and she’ll be able to just get her things and leave. But Wi-Fire just laughs.

“I mean, sure - but you’ll have to scram if you wanna avoid him.” They scrape at the bottom of the pudding cup. “He’ll be here in like. Twenty minutes?”

—-

Minerva is not done packing in twenty minutes. Actually, she’s not done in fifteen, which is when Sun Dog actually arrives. She can hear him greeting Wi-Fire from where she’s working upstairs, meticulously folding towels to be stored in the bathroom before she leaves.

Minerva snaps the final towel free of wrinkles, places it on the pile, and goes to meet him. Better she doesn’t get cornered.

Sun Dog and Wi-Fire aren’t talking, when Minerva arrives. No, that makes it sound like they’re in a stand off, and really, it’s more that they don’t need to be. Minerva catches the end of a fistbump-into-a-shoulder check, and an exchange of smiles, before Sun Dog’s eyes flick up and see her on the stairs.

“Ah!” In civilian clothing, Sun Dog looks like a Bay Area hobbyist come north. His reaction to seeing her is surprise, but also something positive. Joy? Excitement? Delight? “M-“

“Athena!” Wi-Fire cuts in, overriding Sun Dog with their own exclamation, and avoiding accidentally learning Minerva’s real name. Not that it matters, anymore.

Minerva’s spine could be used as a flagpole. “Sun Dog.” She replies, voice cool, as though their excitement at seeing her had been an embarrassment rather than an open welcome. It isn’t on purpose. “Wi-Fire.”

She doesn’t apologize for interrupting, or claim she didn’t mean to, because there’d be no point. Instead, Minerva meets Sun Dog’s gaze, “I’m cleaning up after myself, then I’ll be out of your way.”

“You don’t have to do that-“ Sun Dog starts to assure her, then backtracks. Minerva must have looked offended. “- but we’re grateful that you’d take the time.”

He glances at Wi-Fire, who gets the hint. They give Minerva a double thumbs-up, and another near maniacal grin, and then scamper off. Minerva is distracted, briefly, by the mental image of a young Synovus, gifted with fire instead of shadows.

Terrifying.

Still, thinking of the one problem won’t rid her of the other. Minerva descends the rest of the stairs to stand even with Sun Dog, her arms folded. Her expression must’ve shown something (or maybe Sun Dog just gauged the depths of the bags under her eyes) because instead of saying anything else, Sun Dog just tilts his head towards the door.

“How about a walk?”

—-

With the ocean not far, there was plenty of beach to walk along. It was too late in the season to hope for much sun, but again, it didn’t really bother Minerva. And, with both of them in nondescript windbreakers, they seemed no more suspicious than anyone else ever did.

She wished she didn’t feel like she needed to worry about being suspicious.

They walked in silence for a while, just the sound of sand crunching beneath boots, and the ever present roar of the ocean’s movements. The wind blew in from off the coast, sharp and cold. It whipped her hair around her face, but she mostly ignored it.

Eventually, Sun Dog broke the silence. “Did you know I didn’t actually intend to go by ‘Sun Dog’?”

Minerva glanced around, as though the wind and general absence of other people wasn’t enough to ensure they weren’t overheard. Sun Dog waited.

“Then why did you?”

“Media.” He answered simply. “I wanted to name myself Parhelion. Its the… let’s call it scientific word for a Sun Dog phenomena. They thought one had a better ring to it.”

“So you’re a scientist.” Minerva kicked lightly at the sand on her next step.

“Amateur, sure. But I don’t mind admitting that the name scared the hell out of me at first.”

Minerva hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. I can understand why.”

Sun Dog. In a world still recovering from the sudden disappearance of Sunhallow, any sun imagery was suddenly circumspect. It could be viewed in a hundred different lights, none of them favorable.

“I almost gave up being a hero entirely.” Sun Dog confided. “I was too scared that one day someone would show up, and tell me I was encroaching on their brand.”

Humor, but not enough to hide that neither of them speak his name. Minerva knows he’s dead - she’s seen the grave, spoken to his killer. But there is the thought that lingers. Just in case.

“Why didn’t you?” Minerva asked, staring forward at the tree line.

“Letters. One in particular, that told me he’d never be dead so long as we let him hold that much power over something so ubiquitous as the sun. They said they knew how much it must cost me, but that the world needed people like me to rebuild it, to heal over the scars.”

“And was that one from the Dalai Lama or the President.” Her voice wasn’t bitter so much as it was… dry. Humor. She’s learning how to use it again.

Sun Dog squinted into the wind. “Could’ve been either, I suppose. It was signed, but with a moniker. Eclipse.”

He glanced at her, shrugged. “I’ve never known anyone to go by that name.”

Minerva was silent for a step. Two. Then, “No. Neither have I.”

—-

They wind up stopping at a picnic table tucked just under the tree line, out of the worst of the wind. It’s one of those weather-worn gray contraptions, the kind someone placed years ago and forgot, leaving it for hikers or curious children.

They’ve talked about a few things, here and there. Sun Dog keeps offering small bits of himself, trying to draw Minerva out again, and slowly, she becomes part of the conversation. Childhood pets. Obnoxious commercial jingles that stick even after the company and product are long gone. Nothing pressing. Nothing political.

But after they’d spent a few minutes in a comfortable silence, a natural lull in the conversation, Sun Dog has pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket.

“Hope you’re not looking for poker.” Minerva said with barely a glance. “I don’t have anything to bet.”

Sun Dog laughed, “These aren’t those kind of cards. But if you’re willing, I’d like to do a reading for you. Tarot.”

“Wait.” Minerva raised her brows, leaning back slightly. “You don’t actually believe in those, do you?”

She realized, approximately half a second too late to stop herself, how offensive that likely sounded. Luckily, Sun Dog laughed again.

“You could use a tank as a baseball bat.” He said, corners of his eyes crinkled in a smile. “And have dealt with clairvoyants, shape-shifters, literal magic users - but ‘some cards’ is where you draw the line?”

Minerva ducked her head, submitting to the teasing. “Alright, you have a point. I don’t really know how they work, though.” “You don’t need to.” Sun Dog assured her. “You just need to shuffle and draw the cards. Three of them, face down, left to right. We’ll go over what they mean one by one.”

She felt, suddenly, unaccountably nervous. She managed a murmured thanks as Sun Dog handed her the deck, no longer stiff from newness, but not quite well-worn either. For a moment, she simply spread the cards in her hands, sliding them with her thumb, and studying the backs. They were larger than she remembered most playing cards being. She hoped she remembered how to shuffle correctly.

A few cuts of the deck, and a reassurance from Sun Dog that it was alright to bend them, and Minerva fanned the cards apart, couching them back together into a bridge. Another few cuts, another bridge. And the third time, to keep them balanced.

“Three off the top?” She asked. Sun Dog shrugged, “If that’s what speaks to you.” He laughed again at Minerva’s displeased expression, but nodded encouragingly. “Go on. Three cards, face down. That’s all.”

Minerva sighed. She pulled the card from the top, one from the bottom, and - fanning the cards again - slipped one from the middle at random, laying them each face down on the table in front of her.

“Good.” Sun Dog said encouragingly, accepting the rest of the deck back. “So, this is something of a ‘past, present, future’ spread. Go ahead and flip the first card.”

Minerva rolled her eyes, and moved to place her hand on it - then paused. This trepidation was unlike her. She had no reason to be nervous, because this was a pre-generated deck of cards. It held no personalized information, and could not reveal anything about her of substance, because it was a randomized card.

That argument wasn’t holding up the way it normally would’ve. Some part of her resolve crumbled.

Well. She reasoned, If it’s in the past, I’ve already survived it once. I can do it again.

That seemed to do the trick. She flipped the card over, and was greeted with the image of someone in what she placed as quintessential peasant’s garb… carrying a bundle of sticks? The roman numeral for ten was placed above it, and the individual’s face couldn’t be seen, buried in the bundle they were carrying as they walked away from the viewer.

“The ten of wands.” Sun Dog identified. “Wands are associated with fire. They tend to be about passion, strengths, and willpower. The ten of wands in particular is a representation of burden and responsibility. It is good to be depended on - but not to be overworked.”

Minerva shifted, but said nothing. Sun Dog gave her a moment, then indicated the next card. “The next one, then?”

This one took little effort to turn - whether it was out of a desire to get it over with or simply because she’d shaken off whatever feeling she’d had earlier, Minerva didn’t know. This time, the card was upside down, and she moved to straighten it.

“No -” Sun Dog stopped her, “I mean, if you want to flip it so you can look at it, you can, but drawing them upside down actually means something. ‘Reversed’ cards invert or change the meaning.”

Minerva pursed her lips, flipping the card briefly to get a better look at it. A figure visible only from the waist up, in what appeared to be mail and plate armor. A star spangled canopy offered protection from the yellow sky, and the numeral for seven that floated just above it. The figure had a staff in one hand, and what looked like two sphinxes in front of it - the left black, the white right, each with a different expression.

“The Chariot.” She read, flicking the card back over to be upside down again.

“Another willpower card.” Sun Dog commented. “The Chariot is triumphant - you see how the sphynxes are angled in opposite directions? They should go nowhere, but the driver manages to drive the chariot onwards. Nothing that they carry is a gift. Instead, they are rewards earned.”

“But it’s reversed,” Minerva said dryly, “Meaning… that I’m currently a freeloader?”

“Or that you feel that way.” Sun Dog countered. “The cards aren’t quite so literal as we might hope, sometimes. Go ahead and flip the third card.”

“Another upside down one.” Minerva remarked, considering the angel depicted on the card. “Sorry, reversed. Temperance.” She snorted, placing the card on the table with the others, and then shoving her hands into her pockets.

“Ah, I love the Temperance card.” Sun Dog picked it up briefly, smiling at it, before he laid it back down. “It’s a card of transitions, that one. I - is something wrong?”

Minerva hadn’t been able to hide her flinch at that one. She scowled, more angry at herself than anything - but it seemed the last few days had scraped her raw, left her open and readable. And… she did trust Sun Dog. So she forced herself to clear her throat, and spoke quietly;

“I have a daughter.”

Sun Dog made a vaguely congratulatory noise, a positive sympathy for someone speaking of their loved ones. Minerva’s hands bunched in her pockets.

“I spent most of her life convinced she was my son.” She said quietly.

“Ah.” Sun Dog leaned back, head canted so he could look up for a moment, considering. Minerva knew there was a wealth of information in that, and how she’d presented it, and the connections he could even now be drawing. But she’d refused to run from this. So she sat still, and unwavering, and waited for the judgment she deserved.

“I don’t think it means that kind of transition.” Sun Dog said finally, looking back at her again. “Not in this context, though a gender transition is a common reading of the card. My congratulations to your daughter, by the way.”

Minerva let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Then it doesn’t….” She trailed off, mind unwilling to complete the sentence.

“Doesn’t what?”

“This is the future card, isn’t it?” She said quietly, rather than elaborate immediately. “And reversed, meaning an inverse of the meaning. So if it was about - her transition, and how I pertain to it, then… I would be a roadblock to it. I wouldn’t…” She trailed off again, but Sun Dog only waited.

“... get better.” She finished lamely.

“That you’re worried about it tells me how much you care,” Sun Dog said gently, placing one hand halfway across the table. He couldn’t take hers, given she still had them clenched in her pockets, but she recognized the gesture for what it was meant to be. “But no, I don’t think that’s what the card means in this context. Temperance is the balance between remaining practical, and our dreams. Grounded reality, versus the water of our dreams.”

“So I’m… losing that balance?”

Sun Dog hummed, uncertain, “You might lose that balance, that could be an outcome.” He acknowledged. “But take the cards as they’re important to you. Water is fairly important to you, right?”

Minerva only nodded.

“Then perhaps the reversal isn’t telling you that you’re going to lose your balance. Maybe it’s telling you not to worry so much about that balance - that temperance is not, in fact, what you need to do now.” Sun Dog raised his hands, “I’m no expert. But sometimes we really do need to let loose.”

Minerva stared at the card arrangement for several more minutes. Her mind picked up on patterns, even when she didn’t mean for it to, didn’t intend to read into it. The past, hiding her face from everyone in a mask, carrying a burden she thought she was obligated to take on. The present, lost, her rules turned on their head as surely as the chariot driver was. A canopy of stars, protective shadows against a sky of light… and a being that was neither male nor female, free, offering her the opportunity to move on.

“I’m not taking advice from a deck of cards.” She heard herself say.

Sun Dog shrugged. “Then take it as advice from me. You see something in the cards - that’s what they’re for. Reflecting what you need to see, to be able to face it.”

Minerva let out a long breath, forcing herself to relax the tension that had settled into her shoulders and spine. She looked up, meeting Sun Dog’s gaze with her own.

“How much do you know about Synovus?”

---

[It's funny - I posted the first of Synovus's story over a year ago. I added onto it, here and there, but the draft to post this was started in... September of 2022? Yet, every day, I get a notification, either through Tumblr or Ao3, that someone has found Synovus, and expressed joy about it somehow. It's... remarkable. I love you all, and thank you for reading!]

#synoverse #synovus #siren call

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alexawynters · 5 months

Text

Scarlet Whispers pt. 1

Gif not mine

A/N: Title subject to change, not sure how I feel about it. This is my first published fic here so pls be gentle. Also I'm terrible at summaries.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader

Trigger warnings (let me know if I forgot to tag anything): Mentions of past child abuse, ongoing adult child abuse, stalking, horror, dubcon, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, angst, smut. There will be bits of fluff tho.

Rating: M. Minors DNI

Summary: For the most part swap Vision with mutant Y/N whose powers were enhanced by the Mind stone embedded in her forehead courtesy of Hydra. Takes place post Multiverse of Madness, only instead of trying to kill America Chavez, Wanda taught the teen how to control her powers and in doing so, learned how said powers worked herself, becoming able to copy them.

With her newfound powers, Wanda searches the multiverse for her lost spouse and children. She discovers a universe where Y/N exists but she and their sons do not. This aligns with her plans, allowing her to avoid dealing with another version of herself. Using her powers, Wanda intends to make Y/N love her in an attempt to rebuild their family. Whether she does so willingly, or the Scarlet Witch makes her, both are acceptable to Wanda.

Masterlist here

Chapter One

A silent scream escapes your lips as you gasp for breath. Another nightmare. Damn, that's the third one this week, and it's only Monday. Weary, you wipe the sweat from your forehead and head to the bathroom to splash water on your face. It's finals week, and you have an exam in a few hours. A quick glance at the clock shows that it's already 3AM and you groan. Maybe you can manage to get a couple more hours of sleep before the rest of the night slips away.

Lately, for some unknown reason, your troubled mind has been subjecting you to night terrors that make you question your entire reality. These nightmares have been unusually realistic, and you frequently experience more than one per night. At times, you are haunted by so many consecutive nightmares, causing your friends to wonder if you are getting any sleep at all.

The sound of your footsteps padding across the floor is the only thing you hear as you walk from your bedroom to the adjoining bathroom to wash your face. You don't bother turning on the lights since you have a nightlight in the bathroom. You've never been a fan of the pitch black darkness in the bathroom, but the bright overhead lights give you a migraine at the best of times. As a result, your bathroom is mostly covered in shadows, usually just enough for you to do what you need to do and then go back to bed. However, tonight is different. As you accidentally glance up at your reflection, your eyes nearly pop out of your head as you see a pair of glowing red eyes staring back at you from behind, causing your heart to race.

As you spin around, you raise a fist to defend yourself against the intruder, only to realize that you are alone in your bathroom. You turn back to your mirror and find yourself alone once again. It must have been remnants of the nightmare. In a hurry, you turn on the faucet's cold water tap, run your hands under it, and splash your face. Although hesitant to fully look away from your reflection for fear of the 'intruder' returning, you still want to wipe the sweat from your clammy face.

It was just a bad dream. However realistic, it wasn’t actually real. Shaking it off, you quickly close the bathroom door and head back to bed, intent on getting as much of your remaining night’s sleep as you can before your exam tomorrow. Or rather, later today.

A few hours later, you find yourself in your usual study spot at the university. The library is your safe haven, and it's definitely your favorite place to be. Even if you didn't have to study (which you absolutely did - you were so far behind if you had any hope of graduating with honors, you needed to spend every available moment here), you would often be found here simply reading a book. Your friends and professors are well aware of your voracious appetite for reading, so if anyone ever wonders where to find you, the answer is likely to be here.

Your first exam was in an hour, and you were cramming every last bit of knowledge you could before taking said exam. You needed the highest grade possible. Your future, your escape, depended on it. It could be argued that this desperation was why you initially didn't notice the sound of children's voices reverberating through the library. While the library was usually empty, it was not uncommon for adult students to bring their children with them to study when their own childcare plans fell through. It was inconvenient, but you tried to be considerate and simply tuning it out. Another day, another distraction, and you didn't have time for it.

Eventually, the disruptive sound became impossible to ignore, and despite your desire to not be rude, you needed to focus and get your work done. With more force than strictly necessary, you slammed your book shut, preparing to find a quieter place to study. However, just as you were about to stand up, two twin boys, around ten years old, came running down the library hall, filled with laughter and giggles, heading straight towards you. Your eyes widened as you realized they had no intention of changing their course - they were definitely going to collide with you.

Opening your arms to catch them, and hopefully prevent all of you from careening onto the ground, you found yourself asking “Hey what’s all this? Where’s your mother, you guys?”

The boys looked at you, confused. “What are you talking about, Momma?”

Your eyes turned the size of saucers. “Momma”? That was new. Someone must be playing a trick on you. How ~delightful~ you thought, annoyed. As if you weren’t already stressed out enough, someone had roped in a couple of kids to play a game of fuck around and find out. Well, whomever had put them up to this, when you found them, they were about to find out.

The library's main door swung open, revealing the presence of an incredibly beautiful woman you estimated to be in her mid thirties, with fiery red hair and the most mesmerizing emerald eyes you had ever seen. Her appearance headed straight towards you left you speechless, immediately taking all the wind out of your sails. Oh well, you were always more bark than bite, you supposed. If you thought her looks were stunning, though, they paled in comparison to the melodic sound of her angelic voice.

“Billy, Tommy, come here boys!”

"Mommy!" the twins shouted at the same time before running into her arms. Part of you wanted to scold them for clearly breaking the library's code of conduct, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it when all three of them just looked so happy. You couldn't explain why your heart clenched at the sight of them either, but for some reason, now that the initial surprise had faded, you were soothed by their presence.

You observe their interaction, not wanting to interrupt their intimate moment. Your heart ached at how comfortable the family appeared to be with one another. Once the stunning woman appears reassured about her children’s well-being, she instructs them to go play and shooing them away before redirecting her attention towards you. You feel a pleasant tightening in your chest as her warm gaze focuses on you.

Even though the children have clearly disrupted your valuable study time, you find yourself dismissing it as if it were insignificant. "Oh, it's no problem, I understand how children can be." You don't, you have never had a sibling nor a child of your own, and you have never babysat a day in your life.

"It's just that they missed you so much, darling," she whispered, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

“Huh?”

She takes a step closer, invading your personal space, and begins adjusting your shirt. One of the buttons had come undone at some point, and she seems determined to fix it. Part of you wants to point out that she, a complete stranger, should not be in your personal space, let alone touching your clothing. And what did she mean by saying that her children "missed" you? You didn't know them. You didn't even know her. Warning bells start ringing in your head, as you are pretty sure this is the plot of some horror movie. You should leave. This is not a level of crazy you can deal with right now.

"The boys missed you, Detka. It's been a long time since you've been home, so we decided to come see you!" The woman finally finishes fixing your shirt and looks up at you. Though there is warmth in her expression, there's also a hint of madness, her once green eyes tinged with red.

“I-ah… that’s great, and all but I uhh.. I have an exam coming up, I need to get going.”

“Going?”

The warmth in the woman's voice is gone, replaced by a raspy iciness that sends a chill down your spine.

"My love, the only place you need to go is home, with us, your family."

You turn to face the woman and immediately regret it. Standing before you is no longer the woman in mom jeans and a plaid shirt. Instead, she appears to be dressed in some expensive sorceress cosplay that you estimate would cost thousands of dollars to create or purchase. When... when could she have possibly changed? Just a second ago she was dressed like a normal person, right?

Slowly, you take in the sight of her. Not only has her outfit changed, but her overall appearance as well. Her cheeks hollowed, the sockets of her eyes are sunken as if she hasn't slept in weeks, and her eyes are a glowing crimson. The same shade from your nightmares.

This isn’t real. This is another nightmare. One you need to wake up from.

“Oh absolutely fucking not.” You whisper, as you turn and run.

Unbeknownst to you, the Scarlet Witch allows you to flee. With a flick of her wrist, she could have immobilized you, could have compelled you to accompany her, whether willingly or not, but she chooses not to. The pursuit begins, and she intends to enjoy herself. You will succumb to her, and do so quite prettily. She starts walking down the hallway after you, taking her time. After all, now that she has found you, she has all the time in the world to play with you.

Grace has never been a quality that you possess. In fact, you remember a song your mother made up when you were a child specifically to remind you just how graceless you were. Not that it helps you now, as your brain never finds the appropriate time to recall useless facts. Cursing your ineptitude, you rush out of the library as fast as your legs can carry you.

Moments later, you’re throwing yourself into every door along the hall, however, none of them open. What is wrong with this place? Why is everything locked? You don't remember the university being so fond of locking everything, but then again, you only go to about the same four places. Variety might be the spice of life, but your stomach (anxiety) prefers a milder taste.

As you run, you hear the clicking of the woman's heels, hot on your trail. Or is she really hot on your trail? It sounds as if... you tilt your head, listening. She's walking? You think to yourself that surely you can outrun a woman walking in heels. Surely. (Your asthma would suggest otherwise). Abandoning yet another locked door, you rush further down the hallway. Maybe you don't need to outrun her or find a room to hide in; after all, barricading yourself would only delay the inevitable. Your goal is to reach civilization, to find other people. Speaking of which, where is everyone? Usually, this wing of the university is bustling with activity at this hour.

Exhausted, you pause to catch your breath, hands resting on your knees, hoping that you have managed to buy yourself some time. Unfortunately, your hopes are dashed as her low, raspy voice fills the corridors, humming what sounds like a lullaby in an unfamiliar language. The eerie sound sends chills down your spine, making it painfully clear that luck is not on your side. Where could she be? She is not next to you, nor ahead, yet her voice continues to echo, sounding almost...

Almost the same moment you realize the source of the danger, a hand reaches through the mirror from behind you and grabs your shirt with an unnatural strength. You scream loudly, hoping to alert someone in the building for help, but no one comes to your aid. "What the- LET GO OF ME!" You forcefully pull your shirt from her grip, tearing it in the process, and hastily retreat down the hallway.

To your horror, you see the woman's arm brace against the wall and begin to pull herself out through the mirror. You scramble to your feet, desperate to flee once again, with only one thought repeating in your mind: "What the fuck?!" None of this could be real.

"Y/N," a low voice said in a saccharine tone. "Where do you think you're going? Don't you know that I will always find you? I have crossed thousands of universes to find you, and now that I have you, I will never let you go." In any other context, this would probably be incredibly sweet. Currently however, it only fuels your fear, sending you into a blind panic. You have to escape whatever the hell this is.

Navigating through corridor after corridor you eventually spot one of your classmates at the end, entering the exact exam room you needed to be in that morning. It's a desperate situation, but maybe they can buy you some time while you make your escape through a window or something. It’s not a brave thought, you’re not proud of it, but survival instincts have already kicked in.

You quickly catch up to your classmate, despite initially being so much farther behind, managing to slide into the room just after them. The proctor promptly closes the door behind you. You're breathing heavily, and in your haste, you embarrassingly just slid into the backside of your classmate, with your shirt heavily torn. You must look ridiculous, but unsurprisingly no one questions you about it, your classmate simply looking miffed and whispering an insult as they move out of your personal space. The situation would be comical if you hadn't just been running for your life.

It’s fine. This is fine. Everything’s fine.

Steadying your breathing, you make your way to the back of the classroom, nearest the window and stare apprehensively at the door. You’re expecting any second now for that woman to come barging in, but she doesn’t, and now here you are ready for your exam. Wow you must really be losing it. Stress induced hallucinations, that has to be it.

Although you were hesitant to simply continue with your day, the world doesn't wait for anyone. Whether you actively participated or not, your proctor would still grade your exam, which your future still depended on. You made an effort to push the hallucination from your mind and concentrate on the information you had retained for the exam, aiming to achieve the highest score possible.

Once you have completed the exam, you hand it in and cautiously enter the hallway. The grades wouldn't be posted until the end of the term, but you were confident enough in your answers to believe that you had earned at least an A. Whether it was an A+ or A- was still uncertain, but you were hoping for the former. So focused were you on your test that you had almost forgotten about the incident earlier that morning. For a moment, you wondered if you should visit the university's nurse. Although she was not an actual doctor, it was a free service, and perhaps she could recommend something. On the other hand, at worst, she would suggest getting more sleep, and at best, she would advise you to see a doctor, which you couldn't afford. Not to mention the argument your parents would start regarding the doctor’s bill (as if they were above opening your mail). Perhaps not.

You had no more exams for the day, so it was time to go home. There were chores to do for your parents, and then you had to study for tomorrow's exam. If you were lucky, you could finish everything early and get a few extra hours of sleep, hopefully avoiding another hallucination like today. Rubbing the exhaustion from your face, you head towards the bus stop. It was early enough that the bus should arrive within the next fifteen minutes, and you would be home in about an hour. Everything was going according to plan. Tomorrow was going to be a great day, you just had a feeling.

Once on the bus, your exhaustion started to overwhelm you, your headphones doing little to drown out the ambient noise. Before long, you were fast asleep. Even if you were awake, you probably wouldn't have noticed the viridian eyes in the reflection of the bus window watching over you. Unlike before, these eyes didn't appear to be of malicious intent. If anything, they seemed to observe you with care and empathy. If the volume of your headphones spontaneously happened to outweigh that of the alarm you had set for yourself to awaken you for your stop, that was just a coincidence.

A/N 2: sorry but the writers of the M.o.M. butchered her character just to have her shoehorned into a villain role so Strange would have an adversary already established in the MCU as a powerful magic user - I'm still salty about it. However Ms. Olsen's performance was phenomenal. Anyway lmk if this is absolutely trash or if you wanna maybe read more? I have a couple of chapters pre-written but not the entire thing.

Many thanks to my editors @flowers-shouldnt-die, and Brooke for helping me through this and providing valuable feedback! Especially @flowers-shouldnt-die for her assistance with translations in helping me learn both Hungarian and Russian for this. Wouldn't have made it this far in the story without you :3

#Wanda maximoff x f!reader #dark wanda maximoff #dark wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x fem reader #wanda x fem!reader #dark!wanda maximoff #dark!scarlet witch #dark!wanda x reader #wanda x reader

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throneofsapphics · 5 months

Text

old faces, part six

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret.

Warnings: mentions of death, drinking

Word Count: ~5k

A/N: here we go! I’m curious, would y’all prefer short chapters and more frequent updates? or keeping them around the same lengths?

series masterlist

Three weeks passed since the two of you left for Caraverre for the last time, and today they received the letter telling them you’d arrive a week from now. The month was spent eagerly awaiting your arrival.

You’d written a post note;

Ceri found a kitten, and she’s coming with us. I asked if she was certain about keeping her, and was hissed at twice.

“You’ll need to make a new friend,” she told Fleetfoot, currently dozing at her feet. He was about ten years old now, and not quite slowing down, but not as energetic as he was several years ago. Lazily lifting his head, he opened one eye, before laying back down, tucking his head between his paws. He didn’t have the best track record with cats, but hopefully the new kitten would be an exception. Or at least confident enough to stand up for herself.

“Another friend?” Rowan asked, door closing behind him. She handed him the letter.

“A cat,” he looked at Fleetfoot, then at her.

Aelin shrugged, “she’ll keep the mice away.”

“When she’s here,” he pointed out.

“Wherever she is.”

He couldn’t argue with that. Preemptively, they’d looked into a few different places the two of you could live - even if they hated every second of it. If they could at least sniff out the safest areas, they’d feel a bit better. Then, just make some subtle nudges. Would you let them participate in house hunting?

“How long do we have to stay at the castle?”

“Until we find a home.”

“When will that be?”

“After we find one.”

A groan of frustration, “How long does that take?”

“It could be days or weeks.”

She didn’t look pleased with the answer, but that was the truth. As far as homes went, you’d be relatively picky. Maybe a tad more than relatively. There was a running list in your mind.

High exposure to magic in the past.

Enough space for Ceri to have her chickens, not enough space for a Wyvern.

Walking distance from the city.

The criteria was high, but you hoped something would come around quickly. You were eager to create a home base in Orynth, to establish a safe place, a place that belonged to both of you. A castle could be a home, you supposed, but not for you. You’d never feel like you belonged there.

You meant what you said to Fenrys. You were never born to live in a castle, and as of now, you had no desire to. That’s something you couldn’t picture changing over the years.

Another thing you didn’t expect was Ceri being this adamant against living in the castle.

Scanning the cramped interior of the carriage, you saw Ceri still wrapped up in another dragon book - but her eyes were starting to droop. You let a small smile curve on your face, gazing out the frost-covered window. A few more hours, and you’d be passing the gates of Orynth.

Breathe, you reminded yourself, and watched as your breath condensed in front of you. Gods it was cold, both of you bundled up as much as you could. Still, better than being outside.

A soft snore, and Ceri was sleeping, body laid out across the bench, mitten covered hands still wrapped around the book, now clutched to her chest. It was a miracle she could read with those on. Quietly standing, you lifted the bench beneath you, dragging out a warm quilt, and tucking it around her shoulders. It’s likely she’d sleep all the way to the gates, if not to the castle door.

Even with the relative safety, you never slept on your trips if you could help it, catching just a few hours as needed. A small shield covered the cabin the entire journey, and after the driver said they were comfortable with the magic, you let it cover them as well. At least it managed to keep out some of the cold.

Soon enough, you passed through the city gates, then - the Castle loomed ahead of you. The carriage halted in front of the gates, a guard peered in through the window shooting a smile your way and waving you inside without another question.

You’d met him the last time you were here, and wished you’d at least remembered his name. You made a note to ask later. You were reluctant to wake Ceri, with her looking so peaceful, but you did, gently squeezing her shoulder.

“We’re here.”

She perked up, throwing the blanket off her, face pressed against the window. One hand swiped away the condensation, wiping again as her breath fogged the window. She wasn’t this excited earlier, pestering you about how long you’d have to be here. It was easy to figure out why, peeking over her to get your own look out the window. Three of her friends were waiting there, a good distance away from Rowan and Aelin, but you could spot them.

Your heart warmed.

“Make sure you at least say hello to your father,” you reminded her. She sent you an offended look, and you only raised your brows.

Rowan watched as Ceri jumped out of the carriage, her gaze going to his right. He knew exactly who was waiting for her over there. But, you shot her another look, and instead she sprinted right to you and Aelin, barreling into him.

He’d gotten used to that, to her throwing her entire body weight into him. The first time it caught him off guard. She was stronger than any ten year old had a right to be. He shouldn’t have been surprised, you used to do that when they met up, flinging yourself into his arms.

At a slower pace, you followed behind her.

Ceri hugged Aelin, and bounced on her feet, eyes darting behind them. Where he knew three other children were waiting, a respectful distance away.

“Go say hello to your friends,” he told her and she shot off without another word.

Aelin wrapped you into a warm hug, squeezing until you let out an oof, complaining you couldn’t breathe.

You stiffened as Rowan wrapped his own arm around your shoulders, squeezing you into his side. Had he never done that? It felt .. natural, he almost released you - momentary panic setting in that he might’ve made you feel uncomfortable, but you wrapped your arm around his waist, giving a quick squeeze back before stepping away. Nothing seemed tense or on edge, in fact you still looked perfectly relaxed. Thank the Gods.

Aelin linked her arm through yours, talking about the book you’d mentioned in your most recent letter. As soon as you scribbled in a line about it, that Aelin might like it, she set out to find it. Three bookstores in Orynth later, Aelin had located it and devoured it in two days.

Gods, he’d even found her reading it in the bath.

“I should send this to Dorian,” she announced. After closing the book, in a daze for ten minutes before she finally spoke. Rowan learned the hard way not to interrupt that phase.

“A trashy romance novel?”

“It is not,” Aelin hissed.

“So I didn’t find you in the bath …” Wind suffocated the fiery dagger thrown his way.

“Scandalizing the King of Adarlan is always amusing.”

“Does he even read them?”

Aelin shrugged.

Aelin and Rowan weren’t quite as subtle as they thought they were. They’d obviously done some research and snooping on houses before the two of you arrived, and you found it endearing and helpful.

“What do you think about this area?” Aelin traced her finger over a spot on the map.

“I haven’t exactly seen it,” you shot her a smile. “Tell me about it.”

A moment of shock, but she did tell you everything she knew. Neighbors close enough you could vaguely see them, but not hear them. That’s a plus in your book. Most of the surrounding neighbors already planted a few gardens. A few houses were up for sale, the owners eager to get rid of them. Apparently there’d been a big push to move into the city, into the hustle of people. It’s still close enough to the city, within walking distance of a few schools.

You noticed that although it’s on the outskirts of Orynth, it’s located closer to the castle. It makes sense, considering Ceri will still be spending plenty of time there.

“We should go take a look around.”

Aelin’s eyes lit up. You liked that.

“Tomorrow?” She offered.

“Tomorrow.”

“Are we inviting Rowan?”

That, you didn’t know how to answer. “I’ll leave it up to your discretion.”

Turquoise eyes fixed on you, and it took everything not to break her stare. “A girls trip sounds nice.” You tried not to let out a huge sigh of relief. “Besides, he’ll likely terrify everyone we come across.”

You offered a half-smile, your sentiments were the same. That might be pushing a line. Lines you were very careful to balance. Gods, you’d practically made neutrality an art form over the years.

You bundled up, pushing a pair of mittens into a protesting Ceri’s hands.

“Do you want frostbite?” You kept the exasperation out of your voice. She snatched them from you, shoving them onto her hands, as you wound a scarf around her neck. It wasn’t actively snowing, but Terrasen winters were brutal. A grinning Aelin waited for you just past the castle doors. The two of you each linked one of Ceri’s arms. A good strategy to keep her from sprinting off.

She led you through the city, you’d hit the sweet spot in the morning - less people on the streets, less to gawk and stare, and she knew every back road and alley. It might take you a while to get used to the city, considering none of the roads made any sense. Scratch that, it would. They all lead in nonsensical directions, sometimes looping back on each other.

“I’ll need a map for a few weeks,” you commented.

“I’ll get one for you.” Aelin grinned, leading you through the city gate, and to the right, tracing back along the wall. You figured it had been a twenty minute walk so far, and sure enough five minutes later the small houses began to grow, and Ceri began bouncing.

A few for sale signs, and you opened your senses - looking for spots of residual magic. Where some magic wielders might have lived for a while. The area was brimming. Beautiful and ancient.

This was as good of a time as any for a lesson.

“Ceri,” you caught her attention. The two of you had let her go, making her promise to stay within ten paces. She stopped and turned, bright green eyes staring at you, before bounding back towards you. “See what you can feel.”

Her eyes squeezed shut. “Eyes open.”

She scowled, but listened. It was a crutch, and although you let it help at first, you knew she didn’t need it anymore. Her eyes scanned the perimeter, fingers wiggling beneath the mittens.

“A lot of magic. Old.”

“What else?” A long pause, but you waited. Aelin was silent beside you, watching curiously. You kept your focus on Ceri.

“It’s mostly from humans.” She was looking back at the various fields, now overgrown with grasses. Farmers used to live here, in masses.

“Good,” you grinned at her. She looked nearly identical to Rowan, but that was your mother’s grin on her face. Ceri led the way this time, spotting the houses with “for sale” signs.

You could tell Aelin was brimming with questions, so you started. “It’s the first thing I learned as well.”

“Sensing magic?”

You hummed.

“Is there a big difference between Human and Fae magic?”

“It’s subtle,” you admitted. “But it’s a good thing to know.” To know who you’re facing.

“How does your magic work?” She probed.

“I have the basic shielding, myself and others,” that was the easy part to explain. “I use magic to put … intention into different materials,” you huffed a laugh. It always sounds ridiculous when you put it like that. In reality, it’s a bit more complex than that, but that’s the easiest way to describe it.

“It lets you sense other magic.”

“Most of us can,” you countered.

“But more than others.”

“I haven’t had a chance to compare,” it’s true, plus you had no desire to. Few knew the extent of your magic, and most of them were dead. You preferred it that way.

“Intention,” she murmured - thinking aloud. “Like that dagger?”

“I didn’t create it,” you said, slipping into neutrality, hand slowly drifting over your cheek. You avoided looking at her.

“Is there something else different about it?”

Yes, but nothing that has to be said. Still, this was an opportunity for you to show you trust her. Trust, of course, has to be earned, but giving a small show of it - even just providing a bit of extra information like this, could make a difference in the future. A small thread tugged at you, encouraging you to share. The Goddess who’d always guided you. Listening was the only option.

“That particular one was created by an ancestor of mine. I don’t know who. Those daggers are more common than you’d think, most don’t know what they are. Usually intended for … ritual magic, tattooing, scarring,” you still couldn’t meet her gaze. “They used to be common practice. I don’t know how that male got that specific one, and it had worried you more than you cared to admit. But he was dead, they were destroyed. “It’s an object a collector probably would’ve loved.”

“Are there a lot of those in circulation?”

“Two less now,” you said without thinking, wincing before clearing your throat. “Made by my family? Very few.” Five were made actually, and you knew where one was, but the other two were still lost. The next part you hesitated, but one extra tidbit couldn’t hurt. “It’s not exactly illegal to create them on the Southern Continent, but highly frowned upon.”

“Is that why you destroyed them?”

“No,” you couldn’t lie to her. Silence radiated between the two of you, her surprise palpable. Aelin was waiting, waiting to see if you’d keep speaking. That wall started to surge, to form itself around your mind, to block, block, block, but this time you pushed back against it, a firm hand lowering it. Not to the ground, but so you could see past it. Finally, you looked at her. No judgment, just curiosity.

“You don’t have to share, if you don’t want to.”

Did you want to? Not particularly, but that stupid little thread tugged again. Mentally, you muttered a sorry at calling it stupid.

“That one was special. It scars as intended, yes, but any blood it encounters … if the victim has magic, some of it will transfer inside of the blade. Just a trace, nothing someone would miss, but enough to have other uses.”

You’d had too much time to think about it, to think on what it could mean. If someone had a dagger with your magic, even a hint of it … a weapon with the ability to throw magic into other objects? It doesn’t limit itself either, it would’ve kept on building the more victims it crossed. If the wielder knew how to use it correctly, they could potentially use it to throw someone elses magic into another person. One of your family’s daggers, objects missing for too long, thrown into circulation just as a large upheaval occurred. Just as everything changed again. It’s not something that could be completely ignored, even from Terrasen. But, some things were your burden to carry. Consequences passed through time and generations.

“Good you destroyed them,” Aelin said quietly. A glance at her, and you knew her mind went the same way yours did.

“They were originally used for healing,” you felt the need to defend your family’s legacy. You didn’t want to give the impression that they’d created an object with the intention for harm.

“Sounds like it could’ve been a great tool.”

“It was, for some time.”

Gods, you were sharing too much now. Ceri saved the day, bounding back towards you and pointing to the house.

“It’s perfect.”

Not huge, but not small. From the outside, everything looked fine. Glancing at the price, you knew there had to be a catch. A bit of fixing up, you could handle. But if the roof was about to fall down? That would be a no.

You looked underneath the price, squinting your eyes. To a good home.

An older male ambled out, spying the three of you eyeing it.

As he led you through the house, you got the sense you were being interviewed, and answered all of his questions honestly, explaining what you were looking for in a home.

“What do you want it to become?”

Aelin looked at you from the corner of her eyes, but the male’s keen gaze, piercing brown eyes, were fixed on you.

“A home for my daughter and I,” Ceri clutched your hand tighter, glancing between you and the other male. “Somewhere her friends can visit,” you squeezed her hands, “and relax.”

“Have a lot of friends, do you?”

Ceri nodded, and started rambling about the things they’d done yesterday. He listened patiently, commenting in all of the right places, and you could tell Ceri was taken with him. He did have a grandfatherly aspect to him.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “There’s some mice sometimes, you’ll need a cat.”

“We have one,” Ceri piped.

“That’s perfect then,” he patted her shoulder. “It’s yours if you want it,” he looked up to you. Now, three pairs of eyes were on you.

“We’d be honored.”

The words felt … right. You’d learned the home had been in his family for generations, but he was the last of them. He didn’t need to tell you what happened to his family, but he said he’d been the last occupant of the home, and would be moving into the city with a friend.

“Are they a special friend?”

“Ceri,” you hissed.

“It’s alright,” he chuckled, looking at you with a hint of amusement. You replied with an apologetic grimace. “All friends are special.”

You squeezed your daughter's hand, telling her now is not the time. Thankfully, she kept her mouth shut. She’s at the age where a filter is a foreign concept to her, and any question seems appropriate.

Turn around would take about ten days. He’d left you all of the furniture, all of the kitchen ware, nearly everything, even a collection of what looked to be ancient books. It almost seemed too good to be true … but, this time, an instinct told you to accept something good happened. That it happened without a greater cost. That you were worthy of good things.

Aelin’s mind had wandered during the rest of your ‘girls trip.’ She half paid attention to the tour and conversations, enough so she knew what was going on if asked a question. But, her mind drifted to what you told her. She’d watched as you froze up, as you hesitated, but then told her anyway. As you showed trust in her. Trust with things you probably hadn’t told another person. There was still more to the story, but when she saw how uncomfortable you grew, common sense told her pushing wasn’t worth any potential knowledge she might acquire.

She was correct that someone from your bloodline created it. First the admission of the type of dagger, then how the ones your family created were different. Something a collector would’ve loved.

They were used for healing at some point, then stolen. At least that was what she picked up on. Her mind trailed to why you would’ve destroyed them, destroyed a family heirloom. Blood. Magic. Your magic - imbuing.

Victim’s magic store itself. Enough to have other uses.

Very few. Two less. There’s still more. And you don’t know where they are, or she has a feeling you would’ve tracked them down by now. Aelin had a decent read on you at this point, and she’s well aware you wouldn’t let something like that exist in the world.

Could those daggers have a history? Could she find mentions of them somewhere? You didn’t say relative, you said ancestor.

She needed to talk to Rowan.

Rowan could tell Aelin was nearly bursting at the seams with something. She waited until it was the two of them, you and Ceri already off to bed, before sharing.

He sat on the new wealth of information Aelin had learned. Moreover, he was shocked you’d shared all of that. It was more than you would’ve told him … would’ve told him in the past. There’s other reasons why you wouldn’t have shared that with him before. Still, if he’d asked the question would you have answered? A useless question, considering he wouldn’t ask you. He recognized you wouldn’t have told Aelin this if you didn’t expect he’d hear of it as well.

It wasn’t meant to be hidden from him, just to be heard second hand. It felt like a consolation prize.

“Is she worried about it?” He finally said, his pause giving the impression he was thinking the information over.

“Not excessively,” she shifted, stretching her legs out over his lap. Absentmindedly, thumb ran circles into her calf, loosening the tense muscles. A small purr left her chest. She was silent, contemplative, for a few moments. “There’s more to it. I know there is.”

“Aelin,” he paused his movements, catching her eyes, hoping to tell her not to dig into it. Based on the look in her eyes, that wouldn’t be a deterrent. “At least don’t push her. Let her come to you. It’s sensitive family history you’re digging into.”

At least that’s the impression he got. Aelin described how you seemed reluctant, emphasizing how she didn’t pry much. Speaking about your family had always been difficult for you, one of the topics you were most evasive about, and he doubted that changed too much over the years.

“I know.”

For the first few days, you struggled to figure out how to fill your time.

Last time you’d been here, everyone was snowed in for the majority of the time, but now there weren’t any restrictions or requirements to stay in the castle. Last time, your stay in Orynth felt temporary, even with the knowledge you’d be returning. It was also the first storm of the year, and an early one. Now you’d just hit december. Meaning Yulemas was quickly approaching. Peak season for you, to sell any kind of little crafts, but you didn’t have a space to work yet and working out of the castle didn’t feel right to you.

In the mornings and early afternoons, Ceri had lessons with the rest of her friends and a few teachers from the castle, so you took it on yourself to walk through the city, trying to memorize each street and back alley. That was a new kind of torture for you. Going alone made your explorations much longer, but it was important you learned how to find your way through without help, to not rely on anyone - besides the little map now becoming worn down and creased with how frequent you referenced it.

Making your way back to the main square, the jingling of bells and a few festive tunes reached you first.

A market.

Evergreen wreaths lined the streets, accented by bows, pinecones, and all sorts of little decorations. Stalls and stalls of vendors selling their wares, all of them braving the cold. A few had flasks on their hips, ones they took a few sips from time to time. You smiled to yourself, that’s certainly a way to help keep the chill out.

As it happens, you came across a woman selling little carvings, a list of different types propped up on her table. ‘Enchanted,’ had a line crossed through it. She wasn’t particularly busy, so you decided to be nosy.

“Enchanted ones already sold?”

She smiled ruefully, “aye, the normal provider’s temporarily out of business, don’t know when they’ll be back.” You realized she might be referencing you. “A female from Antica, now based in Terrasen, not sure where.”

“Are there others?”

Her mouth pressed into a tight line. “Not particularly good ones.”

“Out of those too?” Gods, you really were being nosy, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“If they don’t feel right or genuine, I try not to sell them. I like the ones that already have a bit of magic in ‘em.” She narrowed her eyes at another stall across the way. You nodded, and she seemed in the mood to share today. “The seller’s out of Antica, don’t know how she got here, but it’s lowered the price.” She was speaking of you.

“The price?”

“I used to import.”

“Oh.”

Maybe you should’ve kept track of where some of your work ended up.

“I try to keep the prices fair,” she sighed and leaned back in her seat, balancing it on two legs. “For the ones who look like they need it.” That, you could appreciate. “Makes me sell out quicker.”

You hummed, maybe you could make a few before the seasons up. “I heard a rumor,” you started hesitantly, and her head tilted, eyes curious. “That she’ll be back in business, have something ready about a week before Yulemas.”

Oh, you had her attention now. “Do you know her?”

A small nod. “You don’t?”

A shake of her head, but you’d caught her attention. “Always dealt with someone in the middle. A bit annoying,” you tried not to wince, “but safer for her that way, I can understand.”

“I can put you in touch.” It can’t be that hard to pretend you’re actually the one in the middle.

“Really?” She looked skeptical, and for good reason.

Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a small trinket. A small amulet, one of the last things made before you left Caraverre, and a design you hadn’t used before, but if she’s sold some of your things, she should recognize it as genuine. Carefully, you handed it to her, watching as she examined, eyes squinting to look at the tiny carvings.

“She won’t have much stock, and not til week or so before the holiday, but I can put you in touch and see what she has.”

“Even a few would make a difference,” she reached out and handed it back to you, gingerly. Almost like she was holding a treasure.

“Keep that one for yourself. I’ll come back and let you know.”

“That would be much appreciated.”

Based on your smile, and the way she undid the clasp, tucking the small necklace inside her coat, you knew she would. Keep it and not sell it. You’d need to wait a few more days before returning, maybe even up to a week. Just to give the impression you actually were someone in the middle.

Feeling in high spirits, a good deed done for the day, you headed back to the castle, hoping there would only be a few wrong turns this time.

Aelin reached an arm around pulling you into her side, a hug of sorts, but her arm lingered. Naturally, your head dropping to her shoulder. She squeezed further, and didn’t move. Aelin tugged you closer. Rowan didn’t look uncomfortable when you stole a look at him. In fact something like a smile ghosted across his face. You realized how much you’d missed touch and affection. Platonic touch and affection, just among friends. Reya had always been a big hugger, the two of you cuddling up next to each other on the couch.

Something you’d never even thought might be necessary. But now that it was here … you found yourself clinging to it like a lifeline. Touch starved enough that even the smallest affection feels like a blessing, like a gift from the gods.

Aelin sighed, and you relaxed your body further, letting the wine send you loosen you, giving yourself permission to feel this. To bask in this momentary peace.

“You’re much better at this than Rowan.” An indignant huff from the offended male. “Take notes,” Aelin teased him, drawing a laugh from you and a half-hearted glare from the other male.

“And you’ve had a lot of wine,” you countered Aelin, but didn’t move. She’d initiated it … and if she felt uncomfortable, you’d let her move away. Maybe you should, maybe this is crossing some invisible line the wine haze is keeping you from recognizing, but it felt so right.

“Am I a better cuddler than Fenrys?”

This time, you did laugh. Aelin is definitely competitive. “I wouldn’t know.”

She seemed pleased, and matter of fact, so did Rowan. You’re imagining it, for certain. In the morning you’d swear he never looked like that. Swear it was a figment of your imagination.

As much as Fenrys made jokes about it, this hadn’t happened with him. Right now, you didn’t want it to, maybe you wanted to claim her as your official cuddle-friend. It’s the wine. Aelin wasn’t yours to claim, not in any way. Besides, you don’t believe in belonging to others. You belong to yourself, and that’s it. That’s the way it’s always been, and how it will always be.

A part of you still lingered, still wondered what it would be like to have a mate. To forge a bond so deep, such a permanent and everlasting connection, one that could cross worlds and eternity, to love and be loved so deeply that separation was unbearable - that separation would tear your soul into tiny bits.

Not the love of a mother and daughter, the love of two people meant to bind their souls together. Meant to claim each other equally.

Could a bond like that be forged, or was it some kind of gift? Given just to those deemed worthy of it?

It’s the wine.

The odds are you’ll never know, and there’s no use in wasting time imagining it.

taglist: @holb32 @moonlightttfae @cassianswh0reeee @reidishh @fussel9913 @abbyrose13 @brandywineeeee @acourtofbatboydreams (sorry it didn't let me tag everyone! you can comment on this or any others if you want to be added!

#rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin x reader #throne of glass fic #rowan whitethorn x reader #aelin galathynius x reader #rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin x y/n #throne of glass x reader #rowan whitethorn x y/n #aelin galathynius x y/n

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