#The autism the lack of attraction the disconnect with gender and preference for masculine dress while knowing not to be a man...

[boombox-fuckboy]

I have never felt…attracted to either sex. I know my mother was attracted to both, and my father, while shy and focused on his work, found women beautiful and enchanting. But I have never felt…a pull towards another in that way. I can acknowledge a handsome face, a shapely figure, but…I’ve never wanted…never wanted to marry…to so much as kiss or touch… I was raised on stories of the power of love and how it burns within, but never I have ever felt such a thing before. I know I am different. I have always known. My mind does not function the same as others—too easily over-stimulated by sensory input, resistant to disruptions of my routine—but it has also granted me an insight into things I know others don’t have. But this…this lack of attraction…I thought at first I simply had better things to do than chase the boys in town—or indulge any boys who wished to chase me—but eventually I realized…even if I had nothing better to do, I would still never give chase. And I have wondered…is this beneficial…or am I broken? My mother said… But I don’t feel broken… I don’t feel…wrong… I feel different. That is all. I do not wish myself to change. I like the way I am.

Experiment 31E, Episode 4: Letters

#experiment 31e #The autism the lack of attraction the disconnect with gender and preference for masculine dress while knowing not to be a man... #the ungendered nickname the identifying primarily as a scientist above all else...