#The real kicker is that she's teaching my little sister

[kingflups]

I've been stuck thinking about when I asked my mom to teach me to play the guitar lately. It's a bit of a bummer

My mom plays guitar. Has ever since she was little. My grandfather was quite the musician and taught her how to play. He went dancing all the time with my grandmother, sang in bands, loved live music and was super supportive of music in general. Or so I'm told. I didn't see my extended family often. One time he found a crazy cheap trumpet at an auction and gave it to me because I played the trombone and he thought I'd like it (I did, even if the thing was in too bad of shape to really play) My mom was the same way. In theory.

I asked my mom all the time to teach me guitar, and each time she blew it off or told me later until I physically sat her down one day, put a guitar in her hand and grabbed one of her spares. And she just. refused to teach me.

She taught me one chord, one she said didn't know the name of because she taught herself. I could read her notes. That wasn't true. And then she left me in the room for what must have been an hour, alone, after explaining all of the guitar to me for maybe a minute. I knew she didn't show me anything, not really. I was in music classes at the time; I played trombone and sang in choir. This was the one thing I kept asking my mom because she loved music and I wanted to be able to play it with her, and she didn't even spare me a minute

I don't know. She plays professionally now. Quit her job and now she plays at local venues, typically for older folks. I don't know if she's hyping up how big of venues- I moved far away from home as soon as I could. But I know she's making money.

Sometimes she asks if I'll come sing with her

#ugh i don't know #vent post? #it just #This memory came back to me today #I don't know why she did this #(i do) #(she never wanted to teach me anything. She just wanted to see me be successful) #(to brag about) #it just. AHHH #FUCK #the image if 13 year old me sitting in the dark in the attic trying to play a chord even though nobody showed me how to hold the strings #just numb because I knew something sad was happening but I couldn't understand why #just that if I started crying I would get into so much trouble #GOD SHE TURNED THE LIGHTS ON ME WHY #The real kicker is that she's teaching my little sister #Is it better or worse that she treat her better than she ever treated me? #Is it better or worse she ignores my little brother more than she was cruel to me? #murphy speaks

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

How/whn did it go from “Demeter is the mom Quasi never had” to “Deme and Munk are the parents he never had”? How did his relationship with Munkustrap develop, and how did Demeter react to it? Was she surprised, or did she almost expect it to happen?

ohhhhhh this is SUCH an important point in their relationship and i cry when i think about this, because it's honestly just all about respecting boundaries and reconciliation and I'M SOBBING OVER THEM

so understandably, Quasi is not the... most relaxed around Munkustrap. Even though they've cleared the air and each apologized, there's still that little bit of unease between them.

(for those who don't know or forgot, Munkustrap is the one who gave Quasi his scar across his nose due to the fact that Macavity sent Quasi to attack the Deuteronomy brothers, and Munkustrap got startled by this little slip of a kitten trying to go up against him and Tugger)

being so close with Demeter actually really helps Quasi to see Munkustrap in a new light, and watching Quasi interact with Jemima does the same for Munkustrap.

Additionally, seeing how quickly @rainbowratsstuff's Quill attaches to Munkustrap also helps Quasi to become more relaxed around the Protector.

Demeter completely understands Quasi's hesitance around Munkustrap, as much as it breaks her heart, and wants both her boys to be comfortable. She doesn't force Quasi to interact with Munkustrap, but might suggest he come and sit with her while Munkustrap is teaching Jemima, Quill, and surprisingly enough, Jitterbug, a new dance in their den.

Those little moments, with Quasi cuddling up to Demeter, watching Munkustrap interact with the trio of kitten queens, all tucked away and safe in the den, is really what made both Quasi and Munkustrap feel comfortable.

the real breakthrough isn't until Quasi is woken up by the worst nightmare he's had in months, plagued by thoughts of Macavity killing the ones he loves and coming after him. He jolts upright from the cuddle pile with his sisters, and staggers outside, heaving deep breaths as he tries not to start sobbing.

Munkustrap hears him wake up, and follows him out. He sees Quasi, always so tough and happy, completely break down, looking so much like the kitten he never got to be, and he can't resist. He sits himself down next to Quasi, and pulls him into a hug. He doesn't make him talk about the nightmare, doesn't make him talk at all, just holds him.

That's when their relationship takes the most positive shift.

Quasi actively searches out Munkustrap when he's not having the best day, even if Demeter's around as well.

Munkustrap saying "that's my boy" when Quasi excitedly learns a new dance step that Plato's teaching the toms.

Quasi accompanying Munkustrap on patrols every so often, something he only sees Alonzo and Tumblebrutus doing, and hiding his joyful smile.

The real kicker is during the next Macavity attack, when Fang tries to go after Quasi, and Quasi's trying to protect his sisters. Munkustrap steps between them, eyes absolutely blazing as he stares down Fang and tells him, in the angriest, most vicious snarl, to stay away from his kittens.

Demeter knew it would only be a matter of time before her two boys connected, but she also knew it would have to be at their own pace.

So when Quasi quietly calls them Mom and Dad the next morning after waking up in a family cuddle pile, tucking himself up against Munkustrap as the sun rises over the Junkyard, Munkustrap and Demeter can only exchange the biggest, brightest of smiles over their boy's head.

(@afairytalestray more Quasi lore and soft Demestrap parents 😌)

#quasi the henchcat #munkustrap #demeter #demestrap #cats the musical #in conclusion #i love them #dem and munk love their son SO much

[myshipsareendgame]

SHADOLIN BABY- A CONCEPT THREAD:

-one morning, after the war is over (basically all of our heroes survive), shallan gets a bit sick. she inhales stormlight and some of the fatigue still doesn’t go away. she recalls that she had a bit of wine the night before, but just a little, nowhere near making her get a hangover the next morning. she decides not to tell adolin anything, since she doesn’t want him to worry

-later, she goes to the doctor’s office. first, she approaches hesina so that she can schedule a meeting. “oh brightness! come in, come in! would you like something to eat or drink? i have some fruit and wine if you’d like” shallan just gestures her hand and says “actually, no. i wouldn’t want to drink anything anymore... there’s a small chance i am pregnant. it’s why i came here- to ask you to make a schedule”

-lirin is the one that helps her and promises not to tell anyone, kaladin especially, that she came here as she wanted to do so herself. they run some tests and later she comes to get the results, lirin hands her the papers along with a “congratulations!”

-that night, adolin comes back from training to find shallan sitting on the balcony, with a blanket wrapped around her. he gives her a hug from behind and kisses her temple. adolin asks her what she’s thinking of to which shallan answers with:

“we need bigger quarters.”

“what? they’re pretty big, we have enough space.”

“yeah, for the two of us, but we are gonna need a nursery in a few months” and adolin just gives her the biggest hug and kisses her whole face

-they decide to tell dalinar and navani first over dinner. they are both so so happy for them, navani cries but dalinar holds in tears. later though, when he is alone with navani, he gets very emotional and thinks of how proud and happy he is that his son would be a father

-next come renarin and kaladin who both immediately start crying and planning every big event of this child’s life. kaladin gets genuinely surprised that his parents kept the secret, since he thought they wouldn’t be able to. renarin teases adolin “you? a father? oh almighty” but he is so happy anyway

-shallan’s brothers are very happy for them, promising to be good uncles and take care of their niece or nephew

-jasnah and wit are both so proud of how far shallan has come and jasnah takes the rare opportunity and becomes the softest softie to ever soft... shallan is surprised, but nevertheless happy at jasnah’s reaction

-shallan’s pregnancy goes well, adolin starts singing to her tummy very early on and it becomes a nightly routine. he sings iriali lullabies that his mother sang to him when he was young. but he also talks to the baby everyday as well. shallan finds it endearing and eventually starts doing things like that too

-once her belly gets very big, it’s time for new clothing. since she’s often enjoying staying in and reading/drawing, she spends a lot of time in adolin’s shirts, while he goes out and designs new dresses for her that she wears during meetings and important outings during which she must appear

-gavinor likes to spend time with shallan and keep her company and she thinks its a good thing to get used to a child being around her. once they renovate the quarters and add rooms to it, she teaches him how to paint by painting the walls herself. it’s what starts gavinor’s love for art

-a month before she is due, kaladin and adolin are out in the city getting some new clothes when a messanger is sent to say that shallan is in early labor

-adolin and kaladin FUCKING SPRINT through the entire tower, and adolin is horrified outside the room because shallan is screaming and he is so worried

-both the davars and the kholins just drop everything they are doing at the time and come to see how shallan is doing at the clinic. though, the labor takes a few hours so some, like kaladin and renarin, stay with adolin in the lobby the whole time. others come and go, but everyone comes to check every once in a while

-finally, lirin comes out and offers adolin a hand to say “congratulations brightlord. your wife and daughter are in perfect health.”

-AND ADOLIN JUST FUCKING STARTS TEARING UP “I... I have a little girl? Wh-When can I see her?”

-meanwhile, shallan is holding her little girl in the bed. resting and thinking how she never loved anything so much so fast, she just wants to hold her and thinks “oh! mini me!”

-adolin comes in and just starts fucking crying, rushes over to hold and kiss shallan and thank her for bringing this child into the world

-then he turns to the baby and oh, she is the most divine creature to exist, she is a mini shallan and he just holds her by her little fingers. actually, the baby wraps their entire hand around adolin’s finger, which only makes it more adorable

-then it’s like that scene in friends when mondler get engaged and the others go “can we come in now, we’re dying out here!” and they go “come in!!!”

-the family comes in and take turns but dalinar goes first and just starts crying, EVERYONE IS CRYING. they’re crying, im crying, you’re crying. he has the same energy he had when adolin was born. he wants to buy everyone in urithiru a drink, celebrate the birth of his granddaughter.

-renarin and jasnah look at her and they have the same look on their face, they realize they’re gonna have another baby that isn’t directly theirs but they’re gonna love and cherish as their own. they’re going to spoil this little girl with math magazines, science and history books and ultimately let her know that she should grow into the best version of herself as she can be

-while navani goes to get little gav and wake him up from his nap, the davars get their turn. they are so delighted that their sister brought a new life into the world, almost being able to forget the rough past they had once they look into the child’s eyes

-navani comes in with gavinor and he is overjoyed with the baby, his little cousin that he will play with and protect

-navani is very emotional and talks about how similar she looks so much like shallan. her face is pretty pale, freckled and she has stunning blue eyes, but oh the smile. no doubt is it adolin’s smile.

-they notice kaladin is at the doorframe so they ask him why doesn’t he come in the room and our favorite grump goes:

“i just wanted to check if you are alright, but since it all is, i guess this should just be family now.”

“yeah that’s why you’re staying. i’m counting on you to take your role of an uncle very seriously”. and so kaladin takes the baby and with the first time he holds this little girl, he knows he would give it all to even try and be the best uncle to her

-then wit is the last one and shallan insists that he holds her and finally after inspecting the baby for a bit, wit says “alright. am i the only one who is going to address this baby’s hair. LOOK AT IT! BLONDE RED AND BLACK!!”. it’s a much needed moment of pure laughter in the room.

-when a nursemaid comes to ask for a name, adolin and shallan share a look, before nodding. adolin turns back and says “evi. my daughter’s name is evi.”

-later that night, shallan is resting while adolin is in the nursery and plays with the baby. playing consists of adolin sitting on a sofa and rocking her in his arms while she sleeps, but to adolin it’s the most wonderful thing. dalinar knocks and they have this very soft moment where they talk about how fatherhood changed dalinar and how adolin feels the same thing happening to him, right in that moment. but the real emotional kicker comes when dalinar says “i’m glad that’s her name.” they talk of how sorry dalinar is about everything and how he hopes that adolin knows how much he wants for them to repair their relationship. maybe it’s the emotions, maybe it’s the warmth of a newborn child pressed to his chest or the lack of sleep, but adolin accepts. dalinar somehow forces him to go and get some sleep and promises he would stay with the baby

-dalinar holds the baby and coos “welcome to the world, my little evi.” the next morning, they find dalinar on the sofa, sleeping in an uncomfortable position right next to the crib

BONUS: For all my rlainarin warrior out there, renarin would totally bring rlain to meet his niece and she would be so fascinated by his carapace. like kaladin, rlain would also feel an obligation to be an uncle to this child, further cementing the fact that rlainarin are in love with each other :)

#adolin kholin #shallan davar #shallan kholin #shadolin #dalinar kholin #navani kholin #renarin kholin #jasnah kholin #gavinor kholin #evi kholin #kaladin stormblessed #wit #hoid #lirin #hesina #rlain #rlainarin #baby #shadolin kids #original characters #childbirth #stormlight archive #the stormlight archive #brandon sanderson #cosmere #the cosmere #rhythmofwarspoilers #rhythm of war spoilers #rowspoilers #row spoilers

[rwdestuffs]

Done dirty: Ruby

“Main Protagonist” my ass!

Ruby is supposed to be the main protagonist. She’s supposed to have this grand destiny she’s supposed to fulfill, and be the hero.

So why does it feel like she’s taking a back seat to everything important?

Take the Red trailer. We don’t get a whole lot for her, she’s jut there kicking ass. She’s tearing through those Beowolves like they’re nothing, and it’s some great choreography.

Then in Volume 1, we run into the first problem: She kicks the ass of Roman’s men without her weapon.

See, the writers have repeatedly said that Ruby is trash without Crescent Rose, and Volume 5 reinforced that. Not only is it something that is told, it’s something that contradicts what we are shown. Ruby goes gaga in a later episode over weapons, and that’s never brought up again. It would have been a great running gag, and a means to introduce the weapons that the main cast has to the audience in a natural way. Here’s a scenario: After Ruby cuts up those grimm while saving Weiss, she starts examining the weapon. To which Weiss begrudgingly answers the questions in a failed attempt to get Ruby to shut up.

“Ohh! Is this a Rapier mixed with a milti-chamber dust revolver so that you can use them for different effects?”

“Yes.” Weiss ground out.

“And it it made up of a steel-titanium alloy that makes it really durable?” (This part isn’t actually canon, but I think it would be neat if we knew what kind of materials these weapons are traditionally made out of).

“Yes.”

“Can I touch her?”

“What?- No! You can’t touch Myrtenaster!“

“Oh. So the weapon’s name is Myrtenaster?- That’s cool. You should see my sister’s weapons. She called them Ember Celica, and she made it so that they can look like ordinary bracelets when they’re not in use. They mix long-range shotguns with gauntlets, and they’re really cool!”

See that?- All of that could have been a conversation that Ruby could have had with Weiss. Not only would it have been natural, given Ruby’s love for weapons, but it also would have been a great way to introduce the weapons that the cast uses. We could have gotten a similar conversation (using different attitudes depending on the person) with other characters. It could have been a cool bonding moment. Ruby also apparently doesn’t have to prove that she can be a capable leader to Weiss. In this scenario, most would expect that the main leader would have to do something to prove themselves, and prove the person who doubts them wrong. But we don’t get that. All it takes to reinvigorate Ruby’s confidence is a talk from a teacher, and Weiss gets lectured by Ozpin. This could have also led into an interesting bonding moment, and show the differences between how Ruby and Weiss function, and how Blake and Yang function. But we don’t get that character interaction. Ruby gets further robbed of character interaction/development when jaune hijacks the plot to reveal that he’s putting his team in danger due to his lack of experience and reluctance to be trained because ego™. Ruby doesn’t even rush out to find Blake with her semblance, she just… stands there. Doing nothing. Some team leader. She also sides with Weiss on this, and since we never saw any bonding moments between the two, there’s no evidence to believe that the reason she’s siding with Weiss is because of a bond that they have.

Volume 2 also does Ruby an injustice. While the Food Fight has some moments for her (Like quoting Nixon for some reason), she doesn’t do much else. Because she’s not questioned while the team is visiting Mount Glenn, her motives are never questioned. She isn’t questioned on how she plans to accomplish her goal, or on how she would handle tough decisions. Ruby lacks focus in this volume, and the most she gets in terms of bonding with her team and character development is…

This scene… Which, while humorous, doesn’t really add much else. Ruby then uses her speed to defeat JNPR (And here’s a kicker: Assuming that the mess hall is the length of an average school, Ruby is actually only moving 10 Meters per second. She’s slower that freaking Hercule Satan!), and… That’s about it. Apparently she also confronts Cinder during the dance, but she hardly provides anything else. The Ozluminati don’t take any precautions because of this ‘masked intruder,’ none of them bother to check to see if their systems have any malicious hardware on it, they just sit around… With Ozpin probably literally dicking around in his dick chair.

(Why does it look like a dick?)

Volume 3 doesn’t add much. Outside of referring to Weiss as her ‘BFF,’ Ruby doesn’t actually do anything in this volume. And get used to that, because this is just the start of that trend. Ruby ends up taking a back seat to a lot of things, like Pyrrha’s first and final character arc, Yang’s framing, and some backstory for the villains. Ruby acknowledges Penny, and… Yeah. That’s kinda it. After that, she has a small breakdown on Pyrrha committing manslaughter (bot slaughter? mechaslaughter? droidslaughter?- Whatever), but that’s undermined by jaune taking Pyrrha aside to repeat the sentiment. Ruby’s words fall on deaf ears because she’s taking a backseat to Pyrrha’s arc. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but in normal situations, Ruby’s motives, personality, and other aspects would have made her a character in her own right. And had this not been a rushed attempt to give Pyrrha some non-jaune related characterization before her death, Ruby taking a supporting role would have been normal. After everything, she ultimately defeats Neo (by using a weakness on Ice Cream Girl’s weapon), and watches Roman die. She feels no remorse, nor does she seem to have any real reaction. I mean… This is a young girl! And she just saw two people die right in front of her!- Yeah, Roman’s a villain, but his speech about surviving should have shaken Ruby up a bit. Maybe even force her to realize that some people aren’t bad for the lulz (that’s Cinder’s role), but that they do bad things because they’re in bad situations. Pyrrha’s death ultimately sets off her Silver Eyes, and then Qrow gives her the rundown on her newfound powers. This is where a lot of things start going wrong in a narrative sense for Ruby. She doesn’t question this. She doesn’t ask how they work. And she doesn’t ask how her mother could have been killed if she had this power. Then she sets off, knowing that Yang’s emotionally vulnerable, and that a lot of things went down the drain for her. Sure, Ruby has this grand destiny, but she doesn’t seem to leave a letter specifically for Yang. She leave a generic one for both Yang and Tai.

Volume 4 is where it gets obvious that the writers have likely forgotten about Ruby being, y’know… The first letter in the title. She takes a backseat to jaune’s angst, as well as the Renora duo’s conclusion to their backstory (Let’s face it; Ren and Nora have so little character to them, that they’re basically the same character). Ruby doesn’t comment on Penny’s death, she only acknowledges Pyrrha once, and her mentioning the family that she left behind to go on this quest that her uncle all but explicitly gave to her isn’t even mentioned. And when Ruby is about to finally acknowledge what happened, jaune steps in and is all “Nah, don’t worry about what you’ve done. You’re doing fine.” effectively robbing Ruby of any kind of development that she’d get by questioning herself and her decisions. She sends a letter home, and that’s it. She gives this monologue that genuinely feels that the writers only gave her because they realized, at the last minute “Oh crap! Ruby didn’t have a lot to do this volume!”- So they gave her that speech to make it seem that she grew, but it doesn’t actually feel like she grew.

Volume 5 rolls along, and by this point, we’re almost used to Ruby not getting any development. She isn’t questioning anything that Ozpin tells her. Nobody does. And she then learns hand-to-hand. Now, it feels as if the writers did this, as a means to try to say that they gave Ruby development, but they’re not exactly doing it right.

Yes, Ruby needs development. They acknowledge as much. But they don’t understand how she needs development. If they really wanted to teach her hand-to-hand, have Ruby be the one who suggests it. There’s a video that suggests that Ruby is afraid of her silver eyes, and it’s an interesting idea, albeit, not well-communicated. Here’s an idea as to how it could go down

Ozpin: Now, miss Rose, we will be needing to work on your control over your silver eyes.

Ruby (Frightened): My… My silver eyes?

Ozpin: Yes. Is there a problem?

Ruby: No! I mean, uh… How about I help Oscar train in hand-to-hand? I could use a bit of training without my weapon anyways. Heh heh…

And there you have it. Ruby trains in hand-to-hand because she’s afraid of her Silver Eyes. The last time she used them, a grimm dragon got petrified on top of Beacon Tower, and she fell unconscious for a long time. It would make sense had it been better-communicated to the audience if this were truly the reason why Ruby never once asked about them.

Ruby’s lack of development hardly stops there. She doesn’t get the fight with Cinder (You know… The fight that’s been foreshadowed by practically everything, from the opening themes, to Cinder’s grudge, to freaking episode one where Ruby foils Cinder’s dust heist), she ends up fighting Emerald while jaune’s revenge boner leads him to take on Cinder. That’s like Sokka fighting Ozai while Aang fights the random Fire Nation Soldiers. Jaune should have fought Emerald (While Emerald uses an illusion to make him see Cinder, or even Pyrrha as a means to taunt him), and Ruby gets to be the one to take on Cinder. Her Silver Eyes should have activated when she saw Vernal deplete Weiss’ aura. Because as far as Ruby knows, Vernal is the maiden, and seeing another maiden towering above a friend of hers that doesn’t have any aura should have triggered the Silver Eyes instead. The most she does is tell a speech to Raven that… didn’t really feel like a real thing. Most of the victories we saw on-screen rarely took teamwork, and mostly revolved around one moment of awesome that just undermined the threat of the grimm or big bad guys. She’s about as effective as a level five Bulbasaur in Inferno Cave.

Ruby is constantly taking a backseat to most moments that develop the much more interesting cast and jaune.

And once the story is all said and done?- What is she going to do? What is she going to do once the heroes defeat Salem, and the world is safe from the threat of the grimm?

Yang has some world exploring to do. Blake has equality to keep alive. Weiss has a company to run. Ren and Nora have each other……… What’s left for Ruby? What are her goals for after the adventure is over?

Nothing.

#rwde #ruby crit #done dirty

[earthroll22-blog]

How did Gothard dupe so many?

Greetings! I haven’t posted as much in the past few weeks because life is getting pretty busy, and probably won’t slow down until…who am I kidding? It won’t ever slow down. But I’m trying to keep to a at-least-once-a-week schedule anyway!

After posting last week’s blog, I kept feeling like I had missed something important. Sure enough, my friend Craig pointed out another problem.

Is there another dangerous unstated insinuation by the testimony that you highlighted? If this woman’s morning sickness was cured when she repented then, MORNING SICKNESS IS CAUSED BY SIN. If you can figure out what that sin is and repent your morning sickness will depart. Or if the husband can point out the sin that is causing the morning sickness and get his wife to repent, then he to can “conquer his wife’s morning sickness.” What a disgusting anti-gospel message.

In other news, Throwing Out the Bath Water was featured on Recovering Grace, which was pretty cool. Recovering Grace also recently linked to a blog post about Gothard’s teachings on giving up rights, which I highly recommend that you read. I had several major “ah-ha!” moments when reading it, and it’s going to take me a while to process through it all.

Today I want to look at a supplemental material that apparently comes from a seminar on church ministry. This book is going to take a little time to get through, because there is so much to be discussed.

Some of these statements seem rather benign, even if they are a tad simplistic. But I want to take a moment to talk about it, because these few sentences show very clearly how Gothard works, and, to a large extent, answers the question, “how could Gothard manage to dupe so many people?”

He starts with a statement that seems to be undeniably true, yet is extremely over simplified. He also commits a major logical error, arguing that because weak families result in weak churches, any church that is weak must have weak families. Weak families do cause weak churches, but not all weak churches are weak because of weak families. To put it in different terms, termites cause structural damage to a building, but not all structural damage is caused by termites.

The next statement commits the same error, although it’s not quite as egregious, considering how much influence the father and mother have in the family. Nonetheless, there are still things beyond the control of the mother or father that can weaken a family. Illness, employment, abuse by an uncle, a neighbor selling drugs; all of these things can also weaken families. Life is not always as clear cut or straight forward as Gothard would have us believe.

And finally, we get the kicker: all it takes to strengthen families and churches (two excellent goals!) is to have somebody personally explain responsibilities. It’s just that simple. Gothard has the magic ingredient to fix these problems. He has the information for this “forgotten fundamental” for every church.

Now stop for a minute, and put this into normal-people language. Gothard, for all of his talk of “faithful women” and “dynamic potential,” is actually proposing that churches implement a women’s discipleship program. That’s his “forgotten fundamental.” It’s not forgotten at all: there are literally thousands of resources available for these types of ministries, and hundreds of thousands of people involved in these ministries. They’re not new, they’re not unusual, and they’re certainly not “forgotten.”

So why does Gothard try to paint a women’s discipleship program in this light? Simple. He wants to be seen as the only source of wisdom on this topic. He doesn’t want to compete with other writers or speakers who have spoken on the subject. So he wraps it in strange terminology and claims everyone else has “forgotten” about it in the hopes that nobody will go shopping elsewhere.

This is how Gothard dupes people: simplify a problem that people want desperately to fix, and then claim he is the only one who knows how to quickly and easily fix that problem.

Next, Gothard lists ten benefits of training faithful women. Some of them are very interesting. 

Ok, cool. I have no issue with this reason. It’s good for younger women (and younger men and older men and older women too…) to have people they can look up to and emulate. But then we get a list of women in “God’s hall of fame” and it gets a little strange.

Several of these really jump off the page here. Deborah, a woman of discernment? Really? What about leadership? Bravery? Kick-ass-ed-ness? Or Priscilla, a helpmeet? Priscilla was an industrious craftswoman (a tent maker, like Paul) who was an important evangelist and church planter. Priscilla even functioned as a 1st century talent scout, seeing and nurturing the potential in Apollos (someone who Scriptures says “was an eloquent man, competent in the Scriptures.”) All her ministry boils down to “a helpmeet”?

Some of these make sense; Hannah, a woman of prayer, or Esther, a woman of courage. But honestly, this lists seems to cheapen them; it seems to convey that the great works and examples of these women were simply the result of working really hard on one of Gothard’s 49 favorite words. Maybe I’m being too picky here….but it still bothers me.

Reason number 2:

“The danger of…wrong attitudes or behavior of wives” is not clearly stated in Scripture. People are all capable of corrupting doctrinal truth; there is no particular sub-set of people who are more likely than others to corrupt. We do need to be aware of the danger of corruption coming from wives, but also from husbands, and from youth group leaders and song writers and from blacksmiths and computer technicians and U.S congressmen. Particularly singling out wives as a dangerous source of corruption paints them as time-bombs in our churches, rather than people loved by God.

The Scripture quoted here does not support the claim made by Gothard either. Briefly summarized, it tells us that young women should develop the character of Christ in their daily life (which, for those young women in Titus’s church and cultural setting, meant particular things), so that God’s word would not be spoken evil of.

Wow, every single one of them? Man.That’s tough. I wonder if men ever violate truth…

Now I’m confused. We need older women to teach women how to ask their husbands to teach them things? Wouldn’t it be a whole lot more efficient to just have the men teach their wives about this? And since women are so susceptible to doctrinal error, whose crazy idea was it to put them in charge of training other women?

I’m not going to address the quote from 1 Tim. 2, because, bluntly, I’m still very confused by that chapter, and I really don’t think I can speak with any authority on that passage. Perhaps some of my readers would care to share their thoughts?

“When a women pours out her problems to a minister, she exposes him to the strong temptation of becoming inappropriately involved with her in his emotions.” And loving her as a sister in Christ isn’t an option here? Weeping with those who weep isn’t a good idea? Sharing your struggles with someone who is charged with your spiritual welfare should be discouraged? And if a women sharing her problems with her pastor causes him to become “inappropriately involved” with her, is the real problem with her sharing, or with the pastor?

This tendency (that can be seen through IBLP material and at all IBLP sponsored functions) to build walls between the sexes is disturbing for multiple reasons.

It over-sexualizes all interactions and prevents real, solid friendships and real fellowship from happening. I remember not being allowed to eat at the same table as my sister when doing CharacterFirst! work in Memphis. (There were about 9 of us in the basement of a large church, and we literally sat on opposite ends of the fellowship hall.) Rather than speaking to a person, you find yourself speaking to a gender. It’s institutionalized objectification.

It divides the body of Christ, and prevents members from loving their brothers and sisters in Christ. (How can I “do good unto…the body of believers” if I am not allowed to even talk to a significant portion of them?)

Walls that prevent communication serve to protect abusers. If a women is not able to speak to her pastor about an abusive husband, that is one more door that is closed to her. And if we are to take all this talk about ladies speaking only to their husbands about their problems seriously, it does not take much imagination to picture a pastor telling a wife to talk to her husband about these issues!

“When a women seeks regular personal counseling from a pastor, she will usually cause signals of caution or alarm in the pastor’s wife.” Wow, there is so much more  wrong with this pastor’s marriage than a counseling session with a church member if the wife is getting signals of caution or alarm! There is an obvious lack of trust and understanding between the couple. At the very least this couple needs to have an open discussion about what they are comfortable with, and what type of boundaries they should put in place to protect their relationship. And if this alarm becomes “seeds of contention” that damage the marriage…well, again, there’s a bigger issue here that is causing the damage. A pastor counseling a church member does not destroy a marriage.

Side note: how insulting is this to pastors? Do we think male pastors (because female pastors are never addressed) are unable to handle a situation like this? If a pastor can’t manage to deal with the temptation of talking to church members about their problems, is this guy qualified to be a pastor? And if this pastor is honestly that weak, will preventing these conversations actually prevent problems at your church? Rather than giving advice on how to “pastor proof” your church, wouldn’t it be far better to put out a booklet titled Kick That Guy Out and Hire A God-Fearing Professional?

Finally, notice who is to blame for broken marriages and sex scandals in the church: women who try to seduce pastors. Those poor pastors! Those poor, passive pastors! Why, they had no more choice in the matter than you or I; these evil women seduced them.

No. This thinking is wrong. It’s disrespectful to women and to pastors. It paints women as the bad guys and men as innocent victims. It erects walls between members of the body of Christ. It excused the sins of pastors who abuse women in counseling.

Final note: Isn’t it interesting how Gothard carried on private counseling sessions with multiple young girls for literally years and yet had the audacity to teach this?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On a personal note, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the passing of my son. My wife and I would appreciate your prayers.

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Source: https://throwingoutbathwater.wordpress.com/2014/11/22/139/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

[rishyabaney]

I'm proud of myself

So... Idk y I'm making this post... But here goes nothing... Tl/dr at the end..

So, flashback a few months and you would have probably seen me hiding from the world in my room. At the time, I felt as if the world was too much and in a way, I was able to relate to all those pics about how 'the world is scary as an adult, and thus I wanna be a kid again'.

I was in college studying econs, a new language (French), and 2 psy subjects l, in which one of them was driving me mad. I would now say it was just due to the way I overthinked my assignments, coursework and tests, and how I mismanaged my time due to finding everything burdening and thus pushing it aside to deal with them when I'm ready, and guess what?

I never allocated time for them. And so they piled up and I panicked until one day, I was running late for one of my classes. My mom was yelling at me, I was trying to put on my pants, and it just happened. I knew how to get away from it all. I would just drop out.

It seemed so simple. Just stay in my room and don't open the door. Then it would all somehow magically go away. So, I stopped yelling back at my mom to inform her that I'm coming. I shut my door, locked it, took of my clothes, and just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling as my room got brighter as it was in the morning.

And then the hell ensued. You see, I have done this all before, skip a few classes and what not. But that was in school, which is kinda free in my country. But this is college. My parents worked so hard to ensure we had the money to go to uni and this is what I'm doing. And yes, I was a very spoilt brat.

My mom first started to make sure that I really know how much $$ I'm pouring down the drain. Then she called my dad, who said this may only happen for 1 day as he knew last night I was awake on my laptop (I was watching code geass.. Although I do remember watching it when I was a child... So I guess it's rewatching), so I would have been tired (which I was... So this could be one of the reasons)

You see, while I did say this may have a way I "escape from it all", at the time, my plan was to skip a few days of uni and catch up. Which certainly wasn't the case. So like old times sake, everytime I went down, I got my usual lecture on how I'm wasting my life (told in a sad tone), how others are working so hard to try and get a life as good as mine (told in a frustrated tone), and how my "friends" were missing me (which I don't even have... Wut??), by my mother.

But the real kicker is that I just did not catch up at all. I just thought I'll do it later. And again, that never happened. After 3 days, which was the normal amount of days I would skip continuously, my mom kinda realise that I ain't gonna head beck to uni.

So, I don't really remember the sequence of events, but it went a little something like this.

1) my mom called up the uni to try and figure out what happened (like if there was bullying or anything... Idk... I didn't even know she called until later on)

2) my mom started to find if there is a place she can dump my sorry ass at (I think I'll elaborate on this topic later on)

3) she started to see if she can block only my electronics from the house wifi (cos the in Internet is always the root cause of all "youth deviance"

4) "pled" with me/tell me how she hates me for doing this

5) everyone branding me a freeloader

6) stop letting me have any food/eating up all the leftovers so I would not have anything to eat anymore if I sneak downstairs to eat late at night when they are asleep

7) keep reminding me about how my parents won't live long (they are very old and both have health conditions which have also been passed down onto me and my sister [.. Yay])

So, you may say this is normal for family to do this to guide you back to go to uni. But not for me. I still do not know the rules in Malaysia and if how my parents were planning to boot me out was legal. But they were getting there alright. Now at the beginning of last year, I got my phone replaced with a new one, and this new phone already had Instagram downloaded. So I started to go back into Instagram. I would post regularly and such (like the post underneath this is).

But during this time, I felt so ashamed that I decided to hide the fact that I have stopped going to uni from my school friends. I only posted food related pics such as the one from deepavalli. I even deleted the posting I made about the invitation I got to go to a ceremony (?) for getting on the deans list during my 2nd semester (I'll elaborate on this topic later).

But after some time, I kinda got uses to it. My mom gave me a deadline that if I did not continue next sam (the sam that has just passed), she was kicking me out. I started to find places to stay and work opportunities. And that was when it kicked in. There isn't really any good future of you don't have at least a degree in Malaysia. Like you can barely find anything. Many jobs that pay less are often given to kids who are still in school for a part time job, or they don't pay enough for you to survive if you are to live on your own, till you would need to get a few part time jobs, or go to the dark side (underground stuff... Something that idk how to get to). So basically I'm screwed.

And then a few days later, I found a song back fom the mid 2000's. It was a song about a child dying (the song is called "Terlalu Istimewa"). It just got me thi King about how everyone's gonna go, and throughout my parents last few years, do I really want them to have to wonder what is going to happen to their failure of a daughter? I went to my parents bedroom when my mom was in it alone, and I told her the golden words she was wanting to hear for some time (I forgot what exactly I said though).

"I think I'll go back to uni"

Of course I knew what all is gonna happen. At the time I thought my grades were gonna be flopped as I definitely f'ing failed. But to my surprise, my mom said that she will call in and see when we can see the head of my course. She said they already prepared for this and that it is all going to be well.

Remember when I said my mom wanted to send me somewhere. This is where the truth is unfolded. So I was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome when I was 13 in 2012. She had sent me to a home for 2 months when I did a similar shenanigan in 2015. But it costed my family a lot so they brought me back home. Till this day I still do not quite comprehend what my syndrome is (eventhough I'm majoring in bloody psychology), and how I was diagnosed with it.

So why is this important, you may ask. Because I was literally DYING when she told me that she had "explained" to the lecturer (the head of the department is also my lecturer... And I'm getting her again next semester). I just wanted a metroid to hit earth and kill me. I don't like it when people say "oh this person has something wrong with them" and etc. I feel as if they look down on me (but not y'all on Tumblr as you dont see me in real life). When I registered to join my uni, I specifically told my mom to never, ever mention about it. In fact, I found it quite hilarious that someone like me is studying psychology.

But the fact that she has told that made me so scared. I just wanted to hide under my blankets for the rest of existence. But then again, I'm gonna turn 20 soon, so I better act my age (this year I'm turning 20... All this time I felt as if if I still had a 1 in front of my age, I was still young... But I'm now gonna turn 20, a quarter of the average human life expectancy is over 😭😭😭).

So I went in the next day and got found out that mom was ready for my lil' shitty "tantrum" and stopped me 1/2 way, so she dropped me out of the subjects instead of making me fail them for not finishing my assignments and such. She also got back some of the tuition fees. My lecturer did not judge me that much (but let's see this coming semester), and I did not bump into my group mates (we have a lot of group assignments... So yeah... I let the down a lot).

So now that all of that is out of the way, you may be wondering what happened this sam. Well, let's say I was really bloody scared during the first few days as I thought I was going to bump into my old group mates and such. That was not the case of course. Other than the librarian exclaiming that I skipped 1/2 the sam out loud to a few kids, nothing else happened. I retook the psychology subject that gave me a hard time last sam, rekindled a few friendships that drifted apart due to time, and kinda mended back my relationship with my mom.

Some of my group mates this year seemed a little tough to deal with, but hey, it ain't a group project without someone (or in my case, some people) slacking off. I had to do some spoonfeeding to some of my group mates eventhough I too was lost at some parts, but I can vow that when people say teaching others help you comprehend the topic better, it is true but can only be done if you have patience and good blood pressure.

But of course there were also some stuff that ticked me off. I would often claim myself to be a lazy, procrastinating perfectionist. This is because I'm very lazy and I always want to show the best, I mean who doesn't. So when it came to the deans list this that was mentioned earlier, I wanted to go. But for my 3rd sam, I got out of the deans list for not maintaining my cgpa. In fact I only got in due to getting a 3.52 for my cgpa (to get in you need a 3.5), so I was already ashamed for that. I did not feel as if I was worthy of it I guess. So when I came back this sam, I was determined to get back in.

But as things got tough and I say the nice GPA slipping away from me with every orang and red grade I got (not godd grades to get), I felt myself returning back tk my old ways. Sleeping late doing nothing. There was even a lime in which I skipped a class, but I lied and told mom it was cancelled. She bought the lie as usual. It was at that moment I realised that many other uni students were like me. You can see that the new students always aim for high grades but the seniors just aim to pass the subjects. I know that is a crappy attitude to have, but my sister was also able to graduate just be receiving the passing grades all the way. I realised that this is the way we need to be in order to survive. And it is not wrong.

I know if my mom were to hear me say this she would be disappointed and I k ow many of you would be saying "you need to be the best person you can be" etc. But honestly if it means breaking down like that again, then no. I do not wanna make other people worry about me and such if it means I can't always be the best so be it. If it means I would not need to always be worrying if the way my sentence could be better and such instead of "having fun" etc, then yes, I would gladly give it all up. Honestly, I feel as if going to uni has made me a different person. I felt so self-conscious and it made me feel like shit.

But I guess what I'm trying to convey is that if you feel like the world is too burdening, don't f'ing kill yourself (like some weirdos tell you to on Tumblr [srsly, you would rather get rid of porn instead of the real cancerous negative on this platform... I see that your priorities are as straight as ever Tumblr]). Instead try to find something to inspire you, or maybe if you are not a bloody social pariah like me, you may find friend to support you. And always remember, there are others who have it worst that you. So STOP BEING A F'ING CRYBABY, GET OUT FROM UNDERNEATH YOUR BLOODY COMFORTERS, AND REJOIN THE REAL World. Cos guess what, no one is gonna spoonfeed you and take care of you till the bloody end. You need to stand up for yourself cos this world is a disgusting and cruel place.

Tl/dr: I stopped going to uni, found some inspiration to go back. Then things got tough again, I stopped caring, bacame a husk of who I turned into since entering the competitive world of uni, and now I have found happiness.

#rbg90g #@rbg90g #self motivation #motivation #motivating quotes #nevergiveup #never quit #cheer up #be more chill #chill #chillout #perfectionist #stop being a perfectionist #reality #reality check #realization #crybaby #spoilt brat #confession

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Congrats Marit on your second character, Elijah Beiste! Please send us his blog within 48 hours!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias: Marit Preferred pronoun:  She/Her Age: 21 Timezone/Country: GMT + 2 RP Experience: Too much. Activity Level: Off the charts.

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Elijah Matthew Beiste Designation: Switch Age: 21 Faceclaim: Logan Lerman Birthday: April 30th Orientation: Pansexual Kinks: Pain play, blood play, knife play, impact play, choking, breath play, role play, needles, denial, teasing, forced orgasm, dark themes, chastity, TPE, Master/slave, permanent marks, pet play, age play, bondage, orgy, threeway, being used, slut shaming, dirty talk and so much more… Anti-Kinks: Scat, vore, gore, romance.

BIO:

Elijah remembers very little about his real father. What he does remember, however, he wants nothing to do with. He was young when his mother took them away from the horrible hands of the man who hurt her so bad, and gave him the only father Eli has ever cared to know. He let Thomas raise him and his siblings as his own, and enjoyed their quiet little life. He had heard the stories, however, as both his parents have spent a lot of time and energy teaching him the importance of getting to know people before jumping into things with them and how important it is to follow his mark the way he is meant to.

Elijah was always something of a ‘sideliner.’ He was on the football team, but as the kicker, he got good grades but wasn’t top of his class, and enjoyed singing but preferred to be back up instead of right in the spotlight. Eli was something of a ‘mediocre’ person, but he enjoyed that life. He enjoyed being good at what he did, but not needing extra attention for just doing the things he enjoyed.

It wasn’t that he was shy, though. He was anything but. Elijah simply didn’t have a need for being in the spotlight or being the best at something. He was a laid back person, someone who would choose relaxing and smoking some weed on a roof top over performing in front of a loving crowd. Eli was someone who didn’t care and had his own agenda to be bothered with. He had no problem with people judging him for his poor choices, he would just roll his eyes.

Submission came naturally to Elijah. He had no problem following orders and doing whatever someone wanted. He had practiced submission back at home with boys and girls, liking it when they took control of him and forced him to do something. It quickly started to become a craving at times. He felt the need to be handled roughly and to be forced to do whatever the Dominant wished. In the back of his mind, Eli wondered if it was because of what happened to his mother but he pushed that dark thought away. He always made sure he consented to what people did, since that was one of the things that had always been pushed down his throat - for obvious reasons.

Elijah could have a bit of an attitude, which came hand in hand with his laid back and care free nature. He had no problem telling someone his opinion, even if it wasn’t a friendly one. If he wasn’t in the mood to submit and a Dominant requested something, he would tell them. He would listen to the order when pushed but he would never lie and fake enthusiasm. He was someone who enjoyed the alternative lifestyle and he never really got along well with fashion or hypes. Or well, sometimes his outfits were considered fashionable just because of his edginess.

Coming to Lima Heights and getting marked, Elijah had expected to get the submissive mark. Never in his life had he really been interested in dominating. He just simply didn’t feel like he would care enough to put all the effort into creating a scene and making sure the other person was feeling okay. It was going to be struggle and he was definitely going to focus on submission, but if it had to happen - well, then he had no choice.

Unfortunately, living at the institute meant that he had to follow rules. The Switch was going to have to deal with not smoking weed or drinking while he was at the campus but Eli was certain he would find other ways to relax. A hot Dom who had no problem choking him a little, for example. He was also very happy to be able to see his sisters again. While he wasn’t the standard don’t touch my sister, you asshole kind of guy, he did care for them and wanted to protect them as much as he could.

BIO QUESTIONS:

What is your biggest fear and why?

I suppose that would be swimming in a pool full of sharks. Why? Well, they’d eat me, wouldn’t they?

What 3 objects/places mean the most to you and why?

I’m just going to turn my whole family into objects and choose them. I like those dolls, they’re rad.

Home. Home is always good. I know everyone there and I have some great memories there. Staying where you are is always the easiest.

I have an old pocket watch that has been in my mother’s family for ages, apparently. I got it from my grandfather and it’s pretty damn awesome. I don’t really want to give it away to my future kid but I suppose I’ll have to.

Who is the one person you’d most like to meet (dead or alive)?

I quite like Elvis. I’d have tea with him. Or Amelia Earhart so I can figure out the mystery surrounding her disappearance.

What is the one moment you would describe as your happiest/most excited?

What a shitty question. I don’t know? Probably Christmas as a kid.

#accepted

[ajadelight]

Cell Phone Affair - Part Two

Amanda left the bus stop laughing to herself about John’s reaction. She made her way through the park, rounded a corner and saw a line of people waiting for service from a food vendor. Art’s Breakfast Bagels - Your Way, his sign announced. She danced her way along the line until she caught the attention of a fabulous dress woman. She stopped and looked at her with sad eyes.    “What’s your problem?” the woman asked.    “Hunger for one. It’s been two days since I ate last. Other than that, some jerk stole my cell phone and I need to call my sister to get picked up for a party tomorrow. I always attend family parties, even if they don’t like me. At least they feed me well.”    The woman frowned and shook her head. “I swear! Don’t they teach you anything at school? Did you graduate?”    “Yes, but I don’t know what you’re talking about. Would you be kind and let me use your cell phone. I promise I won’t run away with it.”    “You want a sandwich also?”    “That would be nice, but I won’t bother you about that. I’ll find something later or hit the free soup kitchen for lunch.”    The woman groaned and got her cell phone from her purse. She handed it to her and then hooked a finger in a belt loop of her jeans.    “It might break, but it will slow you down enough for me to grab you and knock a knot on your head.”    Amanda gave her a huge smile. “Cool.”    She dialed a number and waited. “Hey, Susan. Sorry I had to use someone else’s phone. Mine got stolen. What do I want? I want to see you on Saturday at noon at the water fountain in Walton Park. Why? Because you’re a coward and I’m tired of it all. You’re a great woman to sleep with, but enough is enough. If you don’t show and discuss it with me, I’m going to the Walton Post and come out of the closet and drag you with me. Maybe you’re joking about what you’re doing, but I’m not. I’m serious and you’re hurting me by treating me like a piece of shit. So, be there at noon on Saturday or prepare for exposure in the papers! It’s not right for you to play with my feelings and emotions and think you can walk all over me. You spend 6 months being intimate with me and now you want to be my friend and say it’s all my mistakes for loving you? Yes. I said noon on Saturday at the fountain in Walton Park. You’d better keep that date, woman! I love kissing your ass, but this time I’ll kick it and kick it good! Goodbye.”    She disconnected the call and handed the phone back to the woman. “Thanks. That was mighty kind of you. You have a wonderful day now.”    “Whoa! Are you okay? What the hell was that? Was that your sister or some other family member?”    Amanda frowned. “No. I wouldn’t be doing no lesbian love with a family member. That was Susan. She came on to me and I tried it once and found I like it and I liked her. For 6 sweet months, it was bliss and she kept insinuating and hinting that she wanted a very long-term relationship. I opted to accept because the love and everything with her was so real. Then wham. She’s out of my life and it’s my fault, but she can’t tell me why? All I did was love her. Bitch.”    “In that case, I agree with you. But why my cell phone? Oh, I get it. If you used yours, she’d never answer. Bitch. I hope she calls me back. I’ll add my icing for her cake and grind it in her face. You might be down-and-out, but you’re attractive and you’ve got a good heart and personality. You probably deserve better than her, but I’ll let you make up your own mind on that. And you have a good day also.”    “I will now. Thanks. Will you come to the park on Saturday at noon to support me?”    “I’ll be there. I’ll rearrange everything to get there and help you. She has me riled up now.”

   Amanda walked away, nibbling on an Everything Bagel with cream cheese, compliments of Danielle, and feeling good. She came across a taxi stand and people were lined up, getting inside yellow cars like lemmings jumping off cliffs. She walked past them dancing and humming and stopping occasionally to play some guitar and bow for their applause.

   She approached the 7th person in line, a man wearing dress pants and a long-sleeved blue striped shirt with no tie.    She waited until he finished his call and put on her pitiful, helpless look and waved timidly. “Excuse me, sir. I’m down on my luck now. A wonderful angelic woman back the street bought me a bagel to calm my hungry stomach. Some jerk stole my cell phone and I need to make an important call. I know that look. It’s not important to you, but it is to me. I’m supposed to be in Rantoul in 30 minutes to babysit for a cousin who’s paying cash and I’m not going to make it. Unless you want to give me a ride and detour to Rantoul before you go to where you’re going. Where are you going?”    “To work. I work odd hours at the ice factory, like from 10 to 6 4 days a week and 12 hours on Saturday.”    “No rest for the weary and overburdened. So, will you give a ride or I could use your cell phone and let my cousin know I’m not going to make it.”    He looked her up and down and handed her his cell phone. “You might be down, but you look too good to ride with you in a taxi right now. Help yourself until it’s my turn.”    “Thanks, dude.” She pressed the last-call function, highlighted the number and pressed call.    “Hey, honey. What’s up with you today? Do you miss me that much?”    “Not really. Don’t tell me I got the wrong number again. You don’t sound familiar. Who is this?”    “This is Jean and you have the right number. It came up Clyde on the Caller ID. What are you doing with his phone?”    “Using it. That should be obvious without asking unless you’re a slow learner. Are you?”    “NO! Who are you?”    “I’m Amanda Collins. And you?”    “I’m Jean! I told you that already! What are you doing with my husband?”    “Oh, him. I’m probably doing the same thing that you’re doing, but I’m doing it a little, no, a whole lot better than you.”    “What?”    “You didn’t know that? Don’t tell me you’re one of those women who take life for granted. You know, like after you say, ‘I do,’ you can slack off and wear granny dresses and curlers to bed and everything is all paradise. I got news for you, honey. That’s not the way it works. You have any kids?”    “NO! And when I get my hands on you, you won’t ever have them either! Give him back the phone!”    “Not yet. I’m not done and it’s rude to try to end the conversation early.”    “You’re pissing me off, woman!”    “Oh well. I enjoy golden showers on occasion. Tell you what, meet me at the fountain in Walton Park at noon on Saturday and we’ll take turns pissing on each other while the cameras roll.”    “Give him the damned phone, woman! Now!”    “Or what? Do you know where I am? Do you know where your husband is? I do.”    “Give it to him.”    “Here? You want me to give it to him here?”    “What are you doing?” asked Clyde, finally stopping his gaze and daydream and paying attention.    “I don’t know, but this strange woman wants me to kiss you at a minimum, right here.”    She stepped close and kissed him without moving the phone. “Wow! You do kiss very well. That was so good, I’d like a repeat. Come on. We still have time before we reach the taxi platform.”    “What are you doing? I’ll kick your ass, bitch!” yelled Jean.    “Just got a couple of great kisses from Clyde. Wow! Got a little worked up on them. But thanks. I appreciate that opportunity.”    “You’re welcome,” Clyde said. “Who are you talking to?”    “I’m talking to some woman named Jean. Do you know her?”    “My wife? What are you doing, crazy woman?”    “I’m doing what she said to do. Here, ask her if you don’t believe me.    “Jean, what the hell are you doing? Did you tell her to kiss me?”    “Yes, I think, I said give it to him, or you, but I didn’t know it was really you. She’s confusing. Who the hell is she?”    “I don’t know. I’m waiting for a taxi to go to the train station and she just stopped out of nowhere.”    “Then put her on the damned phone again!”    “Hello? This is Amanda. What can I do for you?”    “Besides drop dead, what are you doing?”    “Enjoying some great phone sex. I think this is the foreplay part. Kind of kinky, but very exciting. What do I do next?”    “Get ready for a fight, bitch! Where do we meet?”    “At noon on Saturday by the fountain in Walton Park. Do you know where that is?”    “Yes, I know where that is?”    “But not where your husband is?”    “Stop it!”    “Sounds like you did a long time ago. That’s a shame. He has a lot to offer.”    “That does it! I’ll be at the park at noon and at 12:05, you will die!”    “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, like saying ‘I Do’ in a chapel or elsewhere and not holding yourself to it.”    “Tell me that after I hold your head under water for 10 minutes, waterlogged heathen bitch.”    “Yada-yada-yada,” said Amanda.    She handed Clyde the phone. “She hung up on me. I’ve never been that rude to anyone in my life. And she hung up on me. She lays into me with all those threats and it’s my fault? I don’t think so. Anyway, you’re up next. You have a great day and see if you can get Jean to enroll in Anger Management classes. It might improve your marriage.”    He slid the phone back in his coat pocket. “You’re fucking unreal! Do you know that? How can you do that to people? Why hasn’t someone killed you before now?”    She shrugged. “I don’t know. It must be my angel-like face and personality. Are you coming to the park with her on Saturday? One of us will be the kicked and one will be the kicker.”    “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, weird woman.”

#short story