#This objectively improved my life

[bytebun]

I think back on my own “talent” as an artist & it’s like. never seen such a complete lack of design sense or visual aesthetic in a kid so good at capturing forms

#the complete lack of ability to do fashion or interior design or etc etc any sort of visual aesthetic is really WEIRD vs. the rest of my #artist friends who tend to care much more about these things. I have an academic understanding of aesthetics #Skill at art is a trained thing for sure but usually ppl will have lopsided abilities when they begin and that is what I’d call ‘talent’ #even when it’s often transferable skills from previous interests #what I drew reflected heavily what I was interested in which is true for most artists I think but it was such an #overwhelming quantity of work for someone who didn’t end up going into art. So much life drawing for no real reason except that I #loved drawing people and cartoons and the objects around me. #and so much joy and love for colour… #my work improved at a breakneck pace as soon as I got the ability to lay down colour very quickly (got a tablet) #[blue period voice] I loved art because it was made by people for people #bytebun rambles #if I drew cars or buildings instead they might’ve given me the autism label real fast huh

[bugcatholicism]

kinda want to fake my own death and start a new life but then I'd still be disabled with no safety net so actually i kinda just need to die for real.

#even if i can get a diagnosis and treatment that improves my quality of life #idk how i come back from the trauma of just having two years of my life removed #i am completely at the mercy of other people #I'm an object

[handcat]

bought stim toys… autism allegations beating my ass

#was thinking… yes i would like an object to chew on… #got one of those popping things??? idk but she’s my girlfriend now #like am i autistic #who knows #but considering it sure is giving me the language and knowledge to help improve my life i. little ways #also i was overwhelmed and acted weird in class today and i just kept thinking… the allegations…

[tubercloset]

I do not have interest in drawing because I find my art objectively bad and do not know what to do to improve it. It's not even the fun, calming activity that it was because I hate how little variety there is in things I draw and how nothing ever looks the way I imagine it.

Posting this on tumblr because I feel the need to say it somewhere...

#loquacious #I wrote a whole college app essay on art lolol and how I dont care about what other people think #but you know what. I do. I need other people to look at it and care about it and sometimes draw my characters too. #thats the inauthentic part of me talking but its just. I come up with these stories to share with people honestly even if I don't think #much of them #objectively my art--its not good. im not an artistic person and im never going to be. #whenever I try to do something aesthetic and pretty it looks shitty #and maybe there are ways to improve but idk where I would start and it feels too late #was fun while it lasted I guess. but im drawing constipated can't even shit something out #because it smells so bad I dont want to go near it again #ive never really thought of myself as an artist #time to reblog a bunch of posts and shove this down my profile #but its public in the same way my artwork and goodreads reviews are...like a diary where ppl will see but where I dont expect enough ppl to #see or care #lol #me losing my purpose in life

[noxtivagus]

i love ffxiv sm

#i feel better again!!!! #mood swings yes but i also really just love the complexity of my mind #my self-awareness. my grasp and capability for hope despair love hatred etc #i'm still young so the way i deal with it still has a lot of faults but i like reading myself like a book #stuff like music video games sciences writing and literature is really where i thrive #and even though i'm very prone to pain. i love the way i live. i love who i am. and i'll always hold unto that #everyone has a certain level of depth n there are all worlds in our minds but #not everyone's so aware about it. or willing to develop and live in it #i love my capability of complexity and depth. and the way i always try to improve and work towards the future #while accepting who i am. and remembering the past #and then objectively as much as i fall into self-doubt i'm still a kind person at heart right? #even when i'm suffering i choose to still care for others. #i need work on improving my communication skills though ;;;; #bcs i always care n worry for the ppl i'm close with #not even necessarily close. i care n worry for everyone #but i'm a bit selective of who specifically to 'choose' so i won't drain myself. if i cld help everyone then i wld but i'm only human #if we'd made meaningful memories together (even for as little as we talk or knew each other) then that means a lot to me yeah #n i WOULD have no problem w sharing that directly but social anxiety insecurities n deep-rooted fears ;;; #if i hesitate less then i could really go far in life #one thing i need to constantly remind myself though is that i can't do it alone but #social anxiety & i'm so prone to just disappearing T_T n i worry i'll be a burden #but that's a cycle of thoughts i'm capable of breaking if i really #hmmm no it's really hard to do. i'm capable of it though. i know that for sure #it's alright if i let myself rest today. i shldn't push myself even more w this pain #i'll nap after i finish lunch then ><

[cuterocks]

like the thing is. i can't even find community over this, because if i try to discuss the rampant malpractice i endured i get accused of being an antivax pro quack science or having an agenda of that sort (absolutely not true). if i talk about how i have something but no one is able to correctly diagnose it i get accused of faking and wanting to be ill and "stealing resources". and if i go to support groups i meet with people who, due to the nature of the illness we have, all had a very quick and explosive onset of the illness that was very easily identified and promptly treated (which i did not). i have read multiple articles about this and heard a lot of people, and the general consensus is that doctors "saved" their life, while apparently ruining mine.

#i have multiple objective lab results to prove that i'm ill #i had very specialistic treatments done to me that massively improved my life #and since those treatments are high impact on the body and highly regulated i had weekly checks to see if and how much they worked #and they worked! i have objective proof they worked!! #but apparently this is not enough to prove that i need medical care

[actual-corpse]

I.

Want.

A.

Fucking.

CHEESEBURGER

#living that 'no red meat' life be like... #id love to fully convert over to pescatarian but FISH IS SO EXPENSIVE #so i suffer with poultry (i am not a poultry fan) #but #and #then i see these people eating the red meat #and im like... damn.... vegetarians are.... oof #bc cutting ALL meats? i can BARELY cut red! #but i am losing weight (probably not entirely related... correlation causation bla blah*) #*i HAVE cut a LOT of fast food trips and soda and have just watched my food intake bc ive decided to make a change.... #and ya know #it really proves to me that i CAN change! i CAN improve if I truly want to try!!! #and thats what matters #the ability to follow through! #and i think.... #idk #it gives me hope #ive gone back to doing things I like. watching things I enjoy!! #i can watch Trixie Mattel again! (my ex and his friends are Cringe [derogatory]... I actually couldnt watch anything I liked... It was alway #shitty YouTubers talking about Magic The Gathering and Pokemon... and I couldnt object... #i was nothing but a live in maid and when I couldn't do that I got ignored... I wasnt treated well and I guess I set myself up for that but #it still wasnt right! I DESERVE BETTER GOD DAMNIT) #anyway #i REALLY want some shitty McDonald's burgers rn i stg im so fucking glad I live 20mins out of town bc I am so tempted rn #it is ONE AM... The MACCAS WITCHING HOUR! I AM HUNGY... and thursity #but I have a 40 pack of water in my car (I cant afford a LifeStraw filter pitcher and I NEED one for safe water) #byyyyeeee

[lunimy]

why is a kpop idol making me for real question if i’m aro

#🌙.txt #im so weird about him #anyway i’m gonna rant about my identity this post was an excuse for that #it has always annoyed me when people say that i just haven’t found the right person i could like #clearly if i had a crush on this guy i would still identify as aro bc i have never felt like that and probably won’t again #and if i like him it doesn’t really deny i’m still aro cuz i cannot imagine myself having a partner bc i just don’t like anyone #whenever i imagine having a partner i ended up thinking of said partner as more like an object instead of a person #bc i just don’t like the idea of kissing someone and having sex or having to be someone’s support or anything like that #i can’t comfort people and k don’t want to i don’t want that burden even with friends #it makes me uncomfortable and i dont plan on improving that sort of myself #at the end of the day being aro is simply not experiencing romantic feelings the same as the rest of the world #and i’ve never felt like that for anyone irl and won’t bc the more i know a person the less instreasted i am on them #and in this case with the idol i wouldn’t really call it being in love with him #bc i don’t think it is #for me it feels more like jealousy ig #i would love to be able to sing and dance and be on variety shows and have a group of people that seems close and shit like that #but bc i know i wouldn’t /actually/ have that life i ended thinking of being in that life through imagining myself as having a connection #to it in this case like wanting to have an idol bf and it doesn’t necessarily have to be him in my mind i guess it could be basically anyon #but i latched onto him bc i think he’s really beautiful and i would love to look like that but i would never be able to #my posts about loving him at the end of the day are kinda jokey bc that’s not what i feel for him it’s just weird complicated feelings #but the short way i can describe it i think is being in love

[neep-neep-neep]

the bubbly millennials and gen Zers in Betterhelp and Noom and Bread Financial and Experian Boost and DoorDash ads have the eyes of people who wandered into the wrong IKEA and got trapped. and the search party found only an empty lot the next morning. They look like they're held at gunpoint but the gun is made out of flesh and it laughs at them

#i swear no SCP object is scarier than a Betterhelp ad #30 peak dashes allowed me to buy a gaming rig OKAY I SAID THE LINE PLEASE LET ME OUT OF THE BACKROOMS I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN #indie horror game where you're trapped in a Noom ad and have to humiliate yourself on camera to survive #body horror #EXPERIAN BOOST *static* IMPROVES YOUR CREDIT BY STEALING YEARS OFF YOUR LIFE *scream**line cuts* #advertising

[infinityonimmortals]

reading numerous reddit posts about abusive older siblings and parents not wanting their adult children to be independent has not made me feel better about moving out

#i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stuck i feel stu #i guess my mom just wants me to stay home until i die evn tho its obviously fucking worse for me than anything #the only times ive ever improved in life has been when i was a w a y from h o m e #i dont fucking get it #your supposed to raise children so theyre independent and can survive on there own #biolagically your oldest child is a failure and has no motivation to survive on his own #but tou want to stunt the independent child? for what? bc you feel guilty is that it? bc anyhting else doesnt compute honestly #i guess i was just never supposed to leave huh? #never even thought about making a college fund. even $10 a check wouldve helped out honestly #even when i wanted to go to university 'why dont you just go to community so you can be at home' I DONT WANT TO BE AT HOME HOME SUCKS WHY TF #WOULD I WANT TO BE HERE YOU KNOW IT SUCKS I KNOW IT SUCKS WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO STAY IN IT #i dont get it #misery loves company i suppose... #nothing about this is productive #i understand that it hard to look at things objectively and state whats wrong but to ignore it is to be part of the problem #and to subject others to the same misery is unforgivable

[sun-lit-goth]

Feel woefully disliked, though I know it’s not true

#I feel like everyone wants more for me than I’m getting out of life #and the insinuation I’m not living life right eats at me #I have my faults and whatever I’m working on but I’m more than just an object to improve upon religiously #and it’s hard to shut them down cause I agree #but I don’t want to hear it #I’m going at my own pace #this is without words sometimes #just a quizzical look or one of dissatisfaction #I twist it all to mean me bad me bad #and even that’s not correct #it’s what they think of me #it’s not who I am #but with that said it’s more what I think of myself #cause surely if I thought I was alright #I wouldn’t be thinking they think this or that #I’d just be living #and I’m not #cause I’m unsure of myself #maybe another manifestation of living too much in my head

[letsoulswander]

It's actually really weird to like the mountain goats because they are pretty popular, but their popularity doesn't ruin their music (get it played on store speakers and radios so much that the intense emotions get worn into vague memories of themselves)

#like i DO want people to like the things i like but also some music is so intense that its like a weird counterexposure therapy #to hear it in stores or randomly in the car #like house of gold by twenty one pilots? BLEW ME AWAY the first time #and then it became a background song of some really mundane or even boring or stressful times of my life via the radio #and now its just. a song. i gotta really concentrate to get that Juice now #improving #music diary #anyway no radio is gonna get Foreign Object to top 40 so it's better

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Neil,i know you have 120k asks, so you will never see this, but genuinely, how do i start writing? I know it probably sounds silly to you, but I am 15 and already feel behind. I want to be a writer, I have loved reading ever since I read Coraline at 9 and have always wanted to do something creative with my life and to be an author just feels so fitting for me,I just don't know how to do it I guess. I keep trying but it always turns out bad,I don't even know where to beigin and how to pace the story or do anything really.I write short fanfics sometimes and when i go back to read them they are just objectively bad. I know what I do and dont like in stories,I just can't seem to accomplish what I want when I try to write it. And I do have so many ideas, but it never goes anywhere, and I can't put the words on the page. I know improving takes time but I just wish I had some guidance on how to improve(English is my third language so I probably made mistakes, I apologize )

You sound a lot l would have done at the age of 15, had I been articulate enough to say anything like that. At the age of 15 all I knew was that I really wanted to be a writer and that I wanted to write and draw comics one day. I had some ideas that would turn out to be good ideas 15 years later or 25 years later but at that time they were just ideas and I didn't know how to make them into stories.

The most important thing you can do is to keep writing. The second most important thing you can do is to live and learn and experience the world and accumulate a store of things that you have to say and things that you need to write about.

[charasoulz]

why cant i get hyperfixated on something productive like doing school work wtf is undertale gonna do for me

#this is a joke undertale has significantly improved my life tbh #still tho #does anyone else really wish they could fixate on something objectively useful #i want to hyperfixate on THAT GRIND #adhd #autism #hyperfixation

[verinarin]

How Ratio handles his reckless partner during a mission

I wrote this as a character study to better understand and illustrate how he treats people he respects and trusts (*´꒳`*)

So fluffiest fluff ever; in Ratio’s standards ofc

Please tell me if you guys want a part 2 of this ٩( ᐛ )و

Part Two ψ(｀∇´)ψ - Part Three (о´∀`о)

Support me on Ko-fi ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

“I often wonder how does the IPC’s HR department handles the recruitment process,” he sighs as he walks towards your body slumped to the floor as a result of your trademarked clumsiness

He stood there beside you waiting for you to sprung back to life like you usually do “How rude, for your information I aced my test,” you huff as you dust off your hands

“Is that so ?,” he replies candidly, he continues to leave you behind without much thought, he knows you possess some qualities that’s befitting for a investor but still you’re too clumsy and reckless at times

Hence why the higher ups assign him as your supervisor or so to speak, he acknowledges your lack of experience as well as your potential that’s why he agreed to be your supervisor

But he didn’t sign up to be your babysitter….

“Wait up would ya?,” you whine as you quickly jog to be by his side

He tilted his head to the side, studying you from afar to assess any damages on your body from the fall earlier “Time awaits for no one,”

“Please do think before anything else, stop making a fool out yourself while representing the IPC,” he continues his statement as he paced himself to be slightly slower for you to catch up

You huff feeling a little bit dejected by his statement but it’s the truth and from this past year of working beside him, you knew he always have your best interest at heart, well even though most of the times he verbally bullies you

“Yes yes of course Mr. Ratio,” you smile as you walk beside him, you notice that he slowed down his pace earlier, it made you smile to know that behind that rude demeanour he does care a lot

He steal a glance at your expression before resuming to look at the road ahead, he can’t help but to feel comfort in knowing that you didn’t seem to take his words to heart

He always finds it hard to express his truth towards others because to be frank the truth hurts, yet the pain itself is a important element to achieve improvement, pain used as a motivation of sorts

Most people deemed his truthful nature to be harmful yet you’re astoundingly adept in his true nature, you easily read between the lines and see his objective clearly

“Can I ask you something ?,” his sudden inquiry surprises you, it is usually you who do the asking, you deem this as a pleasant surprise

“Sure go ahead,” you reply casually while masking your excitement, he rarely does this so you’re ecstatic

“I know you’re both emotionally and intellectually intelligent, but I can’t seem to grasp why you’re so reckless at times,” he smiles as he ask this question, he’s mostly likely to remember a gamble you took a few weeks ago

Well granted you almost lose your life by gambling your life away in a literal sense to gain a dictator’s trust towards the IPC, but at least you won

Ever since that stunt, Ratio seems to respect you more although afterwards he berated your gamble for two hours straight

“Audaces fortuna iuvat,” you reply as you stare at his face, his merely scoffs as he took notice of the philosophy behind your statement

In a sudden trance he leans down towards your face, ardently reading through your flustered expression caused by the sudden close proximity “Fortune favours the bold, that’s very true to yourself,” his voice deepens as it is drenched in sultriness

Well this is an uncharted territory between you both-

He then leans back towards his previous position, smirking as he relish in your dumbstruck expression, he gently strokes your hair as a sign of acknowledgement something you didn’t knew you enjoyed before

“Now then we should get going, our next meeting is due in approximately 13 minutes,” he stated as he retracts his hand away and leaves you behind yet again but this time speechless and flustered

“H-hey !, what was that about ?,” you huff as you try to catch up with him, not knowing that he’s currently blushing himself underneath that cold exterior of his

“What have I done..” he mutters as he covers his face with his alabaster head

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #dr ratio #dr ratio hsr #dr ratio x reader #dr ratio fluff #dr. ratio #dr. ratio x reader

[fooligandan]

ok but literally why is every time I explain something I want to do to Improve somehow is met with condescenction like. Damn ok you’re making me not want to do it anymore

#note: this isnt abt genuine critique but shit li #* like 'oh look at this cool thing i found lol' followed by rounds of 20 Questions about it and 'did you consider this and how it can do #this and that for you and and' like did you want a dissertation or something. whats happening #MLA formatted essay for 'here is why i thought how cool this object i saw was and how it would improve my life' ????????????????????? #and then i wonder why i never share more abt what im up to w/ people