#UAGH WHY ISNT HE REAL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meteormoss · 7 months

Note

idk what else to say abt it but like. i kinda always half read tags & summaries espwcialy when its like late fpr me so i kinda was like went into it with not much idea abt what was going on but immediately i was like oh etho dead? cleo coming for funeral? and then i was like oh maybe etho has been dead for a while and i like that a lot of theings were just so ambigious and idk if this was like meant to be implied but it was kinda like etho death accident. or on pupouse. yknow. and thw small details of like bdubs not knowing what cleo liked anymore bc like. hes still stuck there in the past with this old idealised version of her. back wen things were 'good' (they werent good but he thinks theyre better than now but also nostaligia is a bitch) god i just. uagh. and then bdubs & joel having sex abt it all. sad people who r greiving finding comfort in each other in not a great way. but theyre greiving. - tfz (i like how i said i didnt know what else to say abt it and then said all. that. jdbsjd its late i ramble easily when its late)

The ambiguity was so intentional. Why elaborate when that person is supposed to (used to) know everything about you? They know all the codes and everything. They don't but you think they should. They dont care enough to tell you they dont know. AND THE IDEALIZED VERSION VS. THE REAL IS MY SHIT!! Bdubs thinks his thoughts in confidence but then cleo just doesnt line up and and and he's starting to doubt how right he is but he refuses to be in the wrong so he just shuts it down. The bdubs and joel one night stand was not in the original plot and it occurred to me and it was just so genius and oh my gosh i love this story so much!!

The bracelets mean so much to me. Not many people notice them and I didn't overuse their metaphor. But! The bracelets are friendship bracelets from a long time ago. Now, it isnt logical for bdubs' to have lasted this long but suspension of disbelief and all that. Cleo cut hers off, she intentionally rid herself of them. I think I mentioned that? Ethos fell off, slipped over his hand one day (i didn't mention this) (this is both a metaphor for his self destructive addictions and habits/deteriorating health and for how bdubs and cleo slipped out of his life). and bdubs' are still on his wrist, frayed and faded, but still there. He refuses to get rid of them just as he refuses to let go of the versions he's half remembering mostly creating of them. It's just such a detail to me that i get the perk of knowing from being the author!!

ALSO!! The last chapter!! It's just so fucking mundane. It needed to be mundane. This isn't a big story about anything dramatic, it's just a story of reckless teens who turned into adults with issues and the repercussions of self destructive behaviors. They're just living, it's just a week in the life. Even if it was a really bad week. It wouldn't have made sense if I were to give it a big ending, or a fix it ending, but the ending still hurts because nothing changed. But it's essential that nothing changed. i am tearing it apart!!

#i am crying /pos i love people enjoying my art #you are the first person ive talked to that figured out etho was dead!!!#everyone else was like :O when that chapter got posted #tcpootw #we buried your bones in plywood

1 note · View note