#WTF why do i feel like he just went to the military this january | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hotel-oscar · 7 years

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FACTS : what I know without a shadow of a doubt happened vs deduction, speculation and/or my opinion.

FACT : December 18th, Sunday - Woke up on corner of Robertson & Santa Monica Blvd in front of Pavilions. I was partially robbed & obviously sexually molested. Also had 1 thin clean cut over left top lip. Like a purposely cut line approximately 1" in length. I was also missing my left earring. It was a black circle and superman symbol on other (I sometimes use that mismatch combo on my left ear only and both matching circles on the right). It’s the kind often referred to as fake plugs so they screw into each other, which in turn makes them more secure and a task to remove so ya, left earring was missing and not on the floor. Otherwise, absolutely no other signs of visible trauma or impact points so I know I didn’t fall on the ground.

FACT : I was missing my wallet, motorcycle key, motorcycle w helmet BUT I still had my A1 leather bomber jacket on, $1+ in coins, 2x collector Swiss Army pocket knives & my black Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. Partial robbery…? I then went into Pavilions’ and bought myself a Tonic Water w the change I had.

FACT : I parked right in front of Abbey and went into Chapel @ the Abbey and bought Bacardi Limon from the tall slender female bartender with the obviously fake English accent.

FACT : Other than feeling confused to how, when & HOW the hell I ended up there, I felt 100% sober & clear minded. This was no surprise to me since I know I didn’t even drink enough to have a buzz. I don’t even remember finishing my shot.

FACT : I thought it weird that NO ONE offered to neither help me nor express any concern. Then when I went back to The Abbey to get my credit card that I had left there, everyone was being rude and giving me the run around and saying come back & just meaner than I have ever recalled them being. They never gave me back my card. I tried from before 7am until noon.

****UPDATE**** They charged my card $40 and it’s a straight up lie. For one, I lost my phone a few days earlier and so I wasn’t sure my balance so I was limiting myself 1-2 drinks max and I always keep my limit. Second, I haven’t spent $40 on a tab since the military and that’s no joke. Besides, I’m 100% positive that I didn’t authorize $40.

FACT : At sundown, I walked miles and miles walking all lit main streets until someone finally asked me if I was ok. It was a homeless woman at a 711 whom I later gave my Air Force Swiss Army pocket knife to as a gift. I was freezing and hungry & she fed me and we huddled together for body heat right outside the 711 doors. When she left, she offered me to go with her but I still felt a danger lurking and didn’t want to put her at risk. When she left, I began looking for a cement or steel trash can bc I was shivering uncontrollably from the cold and needed to get warm. I found one on a sidewalk adjacent to a gas station. I made sure there was no residue gas dripping from the pumps as I walked by them on my way to the trashcan on street. I started that fire for the sole reason of staying warm but also made sure I was being seen on the station’s camera in case anything happened to me bc I had a feeling that someone wanted to make me disappear.

FACT : At no time was anyone or thing in any danger, including myself. Firefighters put it out. Cops (LAPD) showed up after the fire was already out and the firefighters were packing up to leave. It was obvious I was going to get hurt right off the back so I repeatedly told them loudly & clearly that I was a woman. They only got more aggressive and more threatening to the point where I thought that’s it, I’m about to get tazed/shot so I finally yelled, “Ok ok I’m a guy,”– in which they proceeded to tackle me, hogtie, rip my nose back, suffocate me, inject me & beat me. I begged & pleaded for my life forever it seemed bc I couldn’t breathe & that alone was unbearable. When I realized that they were not going to let up, I yelled in Spanish for God to help me and that’s when I got one last sock to the face in which I pretended to be knocked out. I began listening and feeling everything they were doing. I felt my butt exposed while they injected me w something. They had my socks off and had my ankles turned in an unnatural way which w the handcuffs made it impossible to feel anything they were doing to them but the overwhelming pain & fear of breaking like my wrist already felt was. I do however remember the firefighters driving by close enough to make eye contact while I was struggling on the floor before pretending to lose consciousness.

FACT : They tortured me for over 25+ minutes but now actually seemed a lot longer than that and am sure it was. Then they finally put me in a paramedic-like vehicle where not only did they refer to me as a WOMAN but one said, “I wish she’d keep squirming so I could rip her nose back again.” Wtf? Then they proceeded to cut my A1 AF leather bomber jacket into little pieces so I’d never wear it again. Btw, that jacket clearly had my (female) name & rank on front name badge. Then they cut off my white t-shirt and binder which held down my breast followed by sticking an IV down a vein in my throat and opening my eyes and pushing each one so far into my skull that I swore they were gonna poke each out. I’ve never had anyone do these things to me & didn’t know people like that even existed, let alone people that wore uniforms and were supposed to be saving lives. Not enjoying themselves torturing one… I heard them all making little jokes and enjoying themselves the entire time and even when I was walked thru the precinct and booking topless with my breast out in the open (Yet, they were still trying to book me as a male even then!). I remained exposed for everyone to see until I was seen by the doctor in holding in which she said can we put a shirt on him/her. She saw the IV in my throat & asked why the hell they put an IV in me. Even the officer stuttered that he didn’t know why. They x-rayed my wrist bc it was badly injured. I still have no feeling of left thumb and wrist. I still have scars on wrists and ankles from being hogtied with the handcuffs overly tightened. At the time I had blood and swelling at my wrists and ankles from the handcuffs. I also noticed that I was bleeding under one of my middle toes from my left foot & wasn’t previously.

FACT : I reported the rape from West Hollywood as soon as I felt safe and asked for rape kits. Santa Monica Hospital, USC and LA County Women’s Jail. Sheriffs sent SVU investigators to talk to me while in jail. I told them every detail including how I got my motorcycle stolen from right in front of the Abbey and gave them title info in order to find it. The men left their #’s. I called them several times later to find out status and left msgs. I did this from jail and later from home after I was released. I never ever received a call back or acknowledgment and the other # said it didn’t exist. I made sure to keep record of any calls & messages I made to or left them as well as keep the business card they gave me when they came to see me in jail.

{For the record, WOMEN’S LA County Jail was the best part of this ordeal. Not only did they take care of me and make me feel safe and respected me but also the inmates were a blessing to have met. Each inmate made a very special & personal contribution to my heart’s recovery. They all became my friends and I know we all share a special bond and will no doubt see each other again and hopefully work with too. Thank u to every Deputy. U guys genuinely care about human beings and I’m sorry there are Sheriffs that carry guns on the outside tarnishing your priceless contribution to humanity. I’d work w u guys any day.}

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FACT : I was in Signal Hill the day before and received a ticket for the motorcycle being parked on the sidewalk. The motorcycle a 1983 Blue Hondamatic had mismatching license plate from VIN on registration. This is bc I have 2 of the same exact bike and often switched out parts between them. I have its twin sitting here at home in pieces and missing its original license plate, which went w the stolen bike. When I finally got home from jail in mid January, I discovered that the titles for both of the bikes that I had put away safely in a box were both missing. I didn’t even have time to fully take in this whole mess before I was conveniently 5150’d for crying on a curb on a street named Cudahy in which HP Police decided to tow my other bike which was simply parked against the curb correctly & not even w key in it. It was towed to Mr. C’s Towing in South Gate. I tried to get it after my VA nightmare but they wanted me to pay $66 per day for something they did illegally. Well, just like my other bike it has a twin so it has the same mismatching plate detail. I still have the title for this one and the original plate on me. Not on the bike they are holding. I also have the original plate for the 1983 Hondamatic that I just learned from its previous owner, the guy I bought it from, that it was auctioned off in January while I was in jail. They said that they had contacted him to demand he pay for the fees that I guess were not recovered w the f***ing auction but when he tried calling them back w his defense the DMV claimed they had no record of the bike’s existence. Can somebody please tell me what the f*** is going on????

****UPDATE**** I can’t seem to get a police report anywhere. I want to know what they said so I can defend myself but they keep jerking me around sending me on a wild goose chase and lying. HPPD first said I was operating the bike impaired but when I brought evidence contradicting that, they changed their story once again. This time they say that they didn’t want to be responsible in case the bike was stolen while I was in the hospital bc God knows how long I’d be there. BULLSH*T. 1st, they 5150’d me which is a 72 hr hold. 2nd, I’m sure I could have easily arranged for a family member to just walk over and get it. No biggie. 3rd, U ARE RESPONSIBLE for it being stolen! Both PD & Towing place keep sending me back and forth to supposedly get something needed which have been lies and the days have added up. Here’s the big whopper though, they hold for 45 days after which they not only send me to collections for the entire 45+ day storage cost but they ALSO auction my bike! Wow, talk about rape…is this even legal??? It doesn’t seem ethical that’s for sure. I know it’s not right in my heart either. I still have faith in humanity. I refuse to believe there are so many evil people around here.

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West Hollywood Sheriffs think they can do whatever they want and say and do unspeakable things without any repercussions. (????) Literally think they are above the human race and they have an acute hate for strong women who don’t need men (i.e. Lesbians). As far as I’m concerned, they are domestic terrorists and traitors to our country and God-given rights. If u don’t believe me, I’m sure they have videos. They have a thing for recording everything. Or u can believe me bc I’ve never lied to u and would never want to see anyone else hurt. I rather it be me than anyone else bc I know I was born special & can take more than others and I’m ok. Plus, I took an oath to protect my country against ALL ENEMIES, foreign & DOMESTIC and I meant it & live accordingly. I was born to serve my country and its perfect people. I take attacks on them personally and will be damned if I let them intimidate me into letting them get away with it. Over my dead body and even after that.

I believe martial law should be implemented in LA County with special emphasis on West Hollywood & VA in Long Beach (ER & L1 psych ward), if not ALL Emergency Rooms, Psych Wards & Law Enforcement in the county of Los Angeles.

West Hollywood used to be a safe haven for gay people from all over the country. Now it’s become the fastest way to become a non-reported missing person. I’ve had the privilege of meeting their spirits and the honor of their unwavering love and guidance through my drugging, rape, torture and eventual death. That girl I used to be is forever gone.

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The VA in Long Beach has a modern God-complex psychotic Doctor who I lovingly refer to as GPS bc his name sounds like a GPS Navigation brand name. Dr. Magellan?

FACT : I told them I didn’t want to go in the back door. I didn’t feel comfortable & told them I rather go in through the front entrance just like every other 50 millionth time but they were adamant & not budging. I had a bunch of pix w me but mainly of my niece and nephews. Before knocking out I tucked them into my binder like I had been every night. I woke up and found them sprawled all over the bed & floor which was odd & shocking but to make matters worse, 3 pix were missing and that pissed me off. I pulled a fire alarm. Not only did they cancel it on their own instead of the fire department but it also made them pretty angry so 2 guys tied me up to a bed and then each injected a shoulder. I muttered something about the only people that could cancel a fire alarm are the firefighters and was out.

I don’t think anything u guys did was cool. The mystery straight up bite mark was like wtf (and I know u’ll say it’s mine but not only is that stupid as hell but also physically impossible bc of angle it was done).

FACT : Blood & liquid build up on toes by the nails, not being able to account for over a week, being told I’m being given certain meds that we both know damn well aren’t what u said they were, u getting upset w the social worker for not hanging up properly w a public defender and accidentally recording everything u were saying right before I walked in and just all of your bs, GPS. Honestly, I just feel betrayed by everybody there bc I trusted them. I already didn’t trust u bc u always had a smile when u were telling me something that would make my world crumble. I do remember seeing the cameras in the employee meeting room and thinking oh sh*t they are watching me change & sleep?? Then I thought how is that possible if inside the rooms there is not a camera in sight. Still, I wish I would have had a courtesy heads up before getting undressed bc that’s embarrassing/uncomfortable for me to do around anybody.

I also finally realized that not only have u guys been f-ing w my mental health but also that u literally are not one bit interested in really helping me. The same goes to the ER where they watched me have an anxiety attack and didn’t calm me down but instead took detailed notes of whatever fright I was experiencing and even had others come watch and also do nothing except ask that same dumb question, Do u wanna hurt anyone or yourself, all while watching me bawl my eyes out & scared outta my mind seeing whatever it was that was so terrifying but thank goodness u made sure to make a detailed transcript, right?? That still surprises me btw bc I only begin to remember it when u read from it. Weird how u guys remember my dreams/nightmares better than I do. Like how are u able to get inside my head while I’m totally asleep…?? Seriously.

FACT : I always made sure to get a ride to your ER where every time I’d walk in and just ask for someone to talk to. That’s all just a Therapist or someone that could help me relax just by listening and responding like one and not some smart-ass condescending one that belittles what I’m feeling as if I didn’t just now ask for help. I just needed to talk to someone and I’m sure my provider remembers how many times throughout the years I would continuously ask for one-on-one therapy. Every single time I saw u guys I’d ask for that therapy and I practically lived there! Yet, I would be put to sleep & always waking up days later confused of where I was at and then later finding out from the other patients that I was out for days! DAYS! WTF is that all about?? U can’t tell me I’m a drug addict that was doing this to myself bc I know now that is all BS and I’m really pissed about it. U swear we aren’t smart enough to know the difference between the drugs we knowingly put into our systems and the ones u claim are the cause of our perpetual detachment from reality! Yes, u do a good job of keeping us confused so that we accept your BS but eventually something had to give. Maybe my tolerance got higher or maybe I just became immune to your junk. It really is unbelievable how f-ed up u are. I didn’t think there was a cure for what u said I had bc I couldn’t wrap my mind around the perpetual diagnosis u would give me and I’d reluctantly accept even though I hadn’t been doing any drugs. I somehow would convince myself that maybe I don’t remember using (ya right) or someone in my life was purposely drugging me (which made me paranoid) or maybe it was just my guilty conscience from using in the past. I didn’t even consider that u’d be that evil and that your staff would be too naive to question.

I still can’t believe this is happening. So many of my Vet buddies were patients of yours. Some got worse and others I’ve never seen again and no one has either bc I’ve asked. We’re family and we look out for each other no matter what and u know that. It’s unfair that u’d tell the staff to tell me that they were not able to tell me what happened to Izzy for privacy reasons but he had no other next of kin. I was his family and I knew something happened to him the first time I returned to L1 after he was gone and u put me in his old room. I can feel everything and I knew and cried. I’m not saying u did something to him but my last memory of him was me being discharged from there and wanting to say bye but seeing him be tied down to the same bed but not making it easy for your staff. He was in duress and I should have stayed to calm him. I don’t think any of this is funny. Not one bit. I don’t play around when it comes to other people’s quality of life. Heck no and though not all of u guys are guilty, I still won’t return to your part of the hospital and will share that w the Vets I know. There’s nothing u can say to confuse me anymore. I finally feel more like the old me I used to be when I was still in the military. It took more than a miracle for me to overcome this but I’m glad I did and I’m glad u guys were wrong. I’m totally fine and healthy and NOT addicted to any substance or thing. I’m also STILL not a danger to myself or anyone. In fact, every day I get better & better. I had forgotten how good it felt to be sane.

There’s something wrong w u, GPS and I’m sure I’m not the only one that would agree and I’m sure we can count on u to always be smiling when u know ur about to and/or are making someone miserable. U really had me going there which is why I felt no remorse when I turned the tables on u. Just remember, ur the doc and u discharged me regardless of my state and me asking for help. U can figure the rest out.

****UPDATE**** I requested all my medical records from VA. I reviewed my recent 5150 stay in L1. In the short summary they are very detailed on all days except for the 6 day gap of nothing. So I went back to review the entire month of March to see what u put for those 6 days I lost. It’s funny bc u put the same type of very detailed notes for those 6 days. U put my vital signs, exact bowel movements, participation, % of food eaten, etc. Oh u also mentioned that I was temporarily put in restraints and stated the strict policies u have with that like notifying next of kin and 24/7 100% face to face surveillance. Well first off, EVERYTHING u wrote for those 6 days minimum are complete utter BS. Lies. Not only did I find many holes in your detailed fabricated data but regardless of me having to prove anything, u’ve managed to screw yourself. I’ll put it to u this way, u somehow managed to keep meticulous record of not treating me for my said perpetual disorder but also keeping me at that state the whole time. Plus, there were other discrepancies that might seem small but in my case stand out like a sore thumb bc it meant I was 100% not myself in anyway which would be the first in my life since I’m very consistent regardless of my state of mind. So glad the AF & VA keeps records of everything so I’ll let them speak for themselves. U should have paid closer attention to me all these years or just listened to me every time I told u certain things about myself that haven’t changed my entire life. They are important in order to be able to accurately assess and treat me, your patient, medically. I mean, it could mean life or death literally. Either way, u grossly neglected to do that job u swore to do correctly. Add f-ing liar to that. Never mind that u guys also have 100% surveillance in L1 so per your notes, everything in those 6 days should check out at least visually right? Well at the very least for your sake.

I urge everyone to call the jails, hospitals and everywhere to find that loved one and make it known that that person will be missed and looked for and that no one will give up and accept their loss bc they couldn’t live with themselves if they did. Go in person, call or go online to check inmates & arrests. Snapchat and use all & any current social media to record, keep track of, make note of or just have as insurance if anyone is not doing their job, threatening u, putting your life in danger, lying to u or just getting a bad feeling from. They tend to think twice before continuing their disturbing behavior towards u but also letting others know what’s up in case, God forbid, they do harm u. Email all resources & be heard. Email even strangers that might just be in your address book automatically from buying something from them on Craigslist. Serious. Someone, the right person will be listening and that’s all it takes.

FACT : I’m an Air Force Vet who got out in her prime and had nothing less than a stellar career but decided she wanted to be with her family and see their kids be born and grow up. She chose family and chose right. I still have very close ties to my military family and still have the same beliefs I had while serving which is why I will continue to serve, pay or not. I began to transition from female to male but I never intended to change my gender nor name so basically even though considered Transgender, I am just a woman that looks like a dude but I don’t pretend to be and don’t tell others I am. I’m a woman who’s happy looking masculine, as weird as that sounded just now. Ha. Some women get breast implants, others want them removed. Truth is I just rather look this way and it makes me happier than I’ve ever been and the people that love me say that it shows and that makes them happier as well.

FACT : I represent a vast majority of Americans who struggle against all kinds of discrimination and violence and at the hands of everyone, including my own kind. I’m Hispanic, Mexican, Irish & Jewish descent, Woman, Lesbian, Transgender, Gay, Military Veteran, Domestic Violence Survivor, Rape Survivor, Mental Illness, been Homeless. The reason I mention this is bc everything that happened to me can only be categorized as a HATE CRIME because not only did they totally know I was a female all along but there really was absolutely NO NEED to cut my jacket into little tiny pieces AND strip me NUDE topless. That was obviously meant to shame me. Yes, it was deliberate and intentional. They knew what I was and they 100% intentionally meant to hurt me. There’s plenty of evidence to back it up as well. Including the officer’s body cam. I even asked him what that was on his shirt and he told me that it was his body cam.

FACT : If a woman or man or speaking animal says that they were raped. THEY WERE. Who the f*** are u to tell a person, especially a grown-ass one what THEIR body feels. Shame on u stupid women who decided to be the judge of that bc u let rapists of all that are living know that it was ok.

Regardless of u doing unbelievably psycho and amazingly unfair things to me to make me feel like I should just shut up and forget that these things happened to me, I simply can’t. I’m not gonna lie, I really, really considered it and even contemplated moving far away but it always comes back to NO, I’m not crazy. I didn’t imagine this sh*t bc I know the difference between being f-ed up or confused. NO, they will never stop and they will hurt so many more people and I can’t live with that sh*t. I know u f**ks are all working together in some crazy ass levels of authority making it seem like we have no choice but to bend over and take it and believe me, I thought this was too twilight zonish to still be reality but u really do exist. U literally can do whatever u want and have been getting away with it for years. I’m gonna bring an end to that now. I’ve gone above and beyond and even what u can’t fathom to make sure that nmw the truth is known and u guys will not get away with any of it.

Anyways, I was just giving u a heads up of what’s to come and that everything u do (literally) is in our favor and absolutely instrumental in justice. God love us for believing in him and our God given rights. One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and JUSTICE FOR ALL. One Love - God, Family, Country (US).

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ord-lo · 7 years

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My Journey

Disclaimer: My English sucks and everything here is purely my thoughts, feelings and experience so view this at your discretion!

Credits are all the way below 😄

1. Ambivalent:

When I first got the vocational assessment letter for commandos, my mind told me to reject the hell out of it, yet my heart told me to give it a shot. As like any parents would, my parents, despite being my pillars of support, were equally as apprehensive as me on embarking on this journey.

I went for the VA, still unsure, with Z and met H there too. Z was all out to geng and some of his antics included:

Laughing at me when he finished the IQ test earlier than I did, but at the last minute, he erased the last 10 of his answers. “Wtf you shade wrong ah?” I asked, only to have him say, “No I just don’t wanna get in”. His rationale was that if he didn’t even complete the test, commandos would think he was stupid and wouldn’t want him LOL

Making up injuries on the past injuries form such as MCL tear and shoulder tear so that he would seem like a crippled.

When it was my turn for the interview, I was interviewed by Encik S. On the form they asked, “on a scale of 1-5 how interested are you in joining the commandos?” I circled 1. “Why did you circle 1?” “I feel apprehensive cause I do not know what’s in stored for me”

Immediately, he called Sgt Rocky over. “Eh rocky, before you joined commandos, you know what was in for you not?” “No ah encik” “Then do you regret joining commandos?” “Definitely not”.

With that, he told me he gave me another chance to change my choice. At that point, I decided like yknow, I’m gonna suffer anywhere in the army, why not suffer just a little more? I changed my 1 to a 3 and thanked Encik S for his time. Till now, I really don’t know if changing my option made any difference at all but if it did, I’m sure as hell glad I changed it. 🤗

2. Melancholy:

I didn’t know why, but I had a gut feeling I was gonna get in somehow. Sure enough, I received the dreaded letter ordering me to report to SOTAC on the 8 of January. Counting down the days to enlistment, I only had about a miserable month to enjoy after As, hence I made it a point to spend time with my closest of friends and family because god knows how often I’d see them again after enlisting into the army.

Shaved my head a day before enlistment, packed my bag, and with a heavy, heavy heart, dragged myself out of my house on D-day. A new life awaited, but having to sell my soul to the SAF, along with mixed emotions about the army, albeit mostly negative and not being able to lead a normal, civilian life, I couldn’t help but feel gloomy and depressed.

I was fearful of what the future presented and many doubts were running through my head. I enlisted only knowing 2 other friends- Ryan See and Felix, and that was pretty much about it. After trading my pink IC for my green 11B and reciting the SAF pledge, I parted with my family and with long, heavy steps, followed the rest of the crowd to our bunks.

That was it.

The start of a new, long, arduous journey. 😢

3. Adaptation:

When I stepped into my bunk, I saw a certain familiar face who turned out to be Zi An. Truth be told, he was an acquaintance whom I didn’t really have a good impression of back in school (I later on learned that he didn’t like me either). Apparently, he smiled at me but I didn’t acknowledge or smile back (I swear I really didn’t see your smile) and he was thinking wow this guy is such a jerk even in the army. I got to know my buddy Sherman for a lil cause the PTP guys were able to book out and he really helped me a lot in terms of what to do, how I was supposed to arrange my cupboard etc etc. Really grateful :-)

It was really tough having to adjust to military life. I was not used to the environment, and we only had an hour of admin time to bathe, wash our clothes, use our phones, make our calls and write our journals. I vividly remember calling my family and Ming back then and I cried over the phone cause I was feeling really homesick. Nevertheless, I knew things would definitely get better as it was only day 1 and the beginning.

After many cadence runs, ability group runs, strength trainings, tower jumps, V4Rs, UDC, IPPTs and SOCs, we arrived at the dreaded field camp. Besides being tired and dirty for days, being away from any forms of technology, not being able to bathe, having to experience shitting and pissing in the wild, having to re-camo every morning (dirtiest thing I’ve ever had to do tbfh), sleeping uncomfortably in the open cause I had to clip my belt to my rifle LOL, it was during one of our fire movements when I first felt sharp pain in my lower back, which would further hinder me later on in the future. Nonetheless, 3 of my most memorable field camp moments includes:

1) We had an admin pack in our bag and were told to bring an additional admin shirt for the lolz. On the second day we had a 3km vest-slack run and after the run all of us left our admin shirts out to dry, until not long later when we were told to keep the shirts cause it’s not tactical and whatever. I proceeded to place my wet shirt in a ziploc bag.

The next day, we had another run. At that point, I didn’t know if we had anymore runs subsequently or if we were even going to use our admin kit pack. I decided that if there was a need to, I’d wanna save the pack for future use so that I’ll at least be able to change into a fresh set of clothes then. Thus…

I proceeded to retrieve my shirt from the ziploc bag…still wet…the smell was pungent AF as well, wore it and carried on with the run. If you know me you’d know I’m quite a clean freak so that is to date one of the most dirtiest and grossest things I have ever had to experience and I just pray that I’ll never have to go through such an ordeal ever again…………………………

2) On one of the days we did fire movement. My team had my buddy Sherman, and he was on the left boundary of our team. After leaps and bounds forward, we were told that the enemy was at our rear. Hence we had to turn around to leap and bound and Sherman, now being the right boundary of the team, up to this day i cannot even fathom how, leapt and bounded diagonally across our whole team and ended up as the left boundary.

Staff YQ who was taking us for that station proceeded to rage at us and then claim we were “the worst team he has ever seen”. Looking back, it’s just extremely hilarious how one is able to achieve such an unachievable feat that no achiever has ever achieved.

3) On the last day of field camp, we still slept with our rifles clipped to our bodies but my buddy Sherman decided to be a genius and sleep with his rifle by his side instead of at least hugging it to sleep. When we told him to secure his rifle, he confidently proclaimed that the sergeants wouldn’t stun our rifles cause it’s the last day. The next morning, Sherman’s rifle did indeed get stunned by the sergeants and all he showed was no signs of regret or worry as he could still proudly tell us “at least I had a good sleep”………….🙊🙉🙈

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I wasn’t able to receive my letter from my family on the third day, but when I finally did so at the jetty on the last day, I cried for the second time in the army. So, so touched by the perpetual encouragement from them and the unwavering support. I personally don’t think that crying is a sign of weakness, but a response to the influx of emotions we feel, and that is something I appreciate because nothing can get more sincere than that.

I will never forget the first bath I took after field camp. It felt so good to be clean again. Ironically, the bunks which we dreaded suddenly seemed like a resort to us as we learned to appreciate the littlest of things from this field camp.

Drills competitions, Iron-soldier challenge and BCCT basically summed up the remainder of BMT. BMT was definitely a challenge,but that metamorphosis had surely made me more resilient, mature and physically stronger. The people around me were extremely wonderful as well and helped me get through BMT, without which I’d definitely struggle even more. POP LO! (11/03/16) 🤗

4. Resilience:

Having to book in while everyone else was enjoying their block leave definitely sucks. We had our first taste of CSLC on our sunday night book in as our OC made us hold our fully filled admin bottle upright and those that he caught moving had to pour their bottles over their heads. This was definitely the start of 2 months of hell.

Having to adjust to the new life, memorizing a really long leader’s creed, drinking half full bottle at every water parade and a meal regime which only gets tougher as the weeks go by was quite an upgrade from BMT, and a challenge which I had to eventually get used to.

I was fortunate to know that I was in a detachment full of nice and capable people, and even thankful to know my buddy Shao Shxuan was a schoolmate of mine and we got close really fast! However, I was also taken aback to see the 3 biggest guys in our course, in my det, because that meant THEY BE SLEEPING DURING CASEVAC AND WE BE SUFFERIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the third day of our course, the turnout we anticipated finally arrived at 4.15am. A changing parade, push-ups, crunches, FBO, everything in and out, running to touch the flag pole, casevac and stretcher over head summed up our initiation day. Basking in the warmth of the sun rise while we received our new trainee ranks, we all felt really proud of ourselves for completing the turnout!

Then came Blue Jay where we experienced riding in a helicopter and I was honestly pretty excited to do so as it was my first ever experience and I believe many don’t have the opportunity to even ride a helicopter!! However, all that came with a price as we were dealt with another punishment of having to empty all the camo cream in our tubes, onto our skins, and then some leopard crawling. Those who didn’t crawl fast enough had to semula and crawl again. I remember lamenting how unfortunate I was as I was about to cross the mark to “secure” wave 1 until a semula was called. Thankfully I got through in wave 2, while others were subjected to a wave 3 of leopard crawling.

After more runs and PT, theory and practical lessons, SOC, a 6km fast march, IPPT (which I finally secured my CDO gold 😄), another mini turn out session for our leaders shirt, random outfields, navex (which I walked around 30km in 2 days or so with an ass abrasion oh god) and 3 times of one of the most tiring things I would say I have ever done in my life, the 5km SOC, which I have never passed sadly, and battling against my constant aching back pains, we finally arrived at Taiwan!!!

All these, however, came with a cost as we dropped from 17 men to 14 men in our detachment. This meant that we had lesser amount of people to carry the same load, which was gonna be a tougher ordeal for us.

5. Fortitude:

Apart from that really really scrumptious chicken burger we got as our first meal in Taiwan, the first few days were just really really cold and we even had to fall in butt to nut and everyone was just vying for the middle row in order to be shielded from the blowing winds.

As the days followed by slowly with:

Navex,

Ex follow me,

Ex red beret,

12km fast march (Which Shao walked, pushed and paced me through),

Demo and live firing (with a rolling in the mud session by Lta JQ with det 3 & 4 proudly declaring they wanna be the best det and hence were treated to a face dip in the mud whereas det 1 & 2 stayed silent/ said no when we were asked if we wanna be the best det LOL),

AK test and AOS test,

we were rewarded with a nights out!!! We went just outside camp for a few hours to chill, get some chicken cutlet and milk tea and contacted our loved ones. I really missed the civilian life man and I missed home even more. I was constantly wondering what Ming and my family were doing back at home…

However, our happiness was short lived, as Ex hurricane struck. Apparently, we were told to fall in and not go back to bunks when we returned cause the instructors wanted to check for contraband items but we screwed up and went back into our bunks. Angered, we were told to fall in and take everything out from our bunks: kit bag, civilian bag, field pack, clothes, shoes and even bedsheets.

First, we were told to empty our 7 packs and lay them out umpteen times till everyone standardized. Then, we were told to empty everything from our bags, both kit bags and civi bags for them to check our stuff. The unimaginable happened as the instructors started throwing our items everywhere, mixing everyone’s items up, wreaking havoc among all our items. After the fun they had, we were given 1hr 30mins to get into our new bunks (we all swapped bunks) and recover our items which include trading with others, asking around if anyone took your stuff but mainly begging for others to check if they had anything that doesn’t belong to them. I lost plenty of ziploc bags and other items but it was nothing compared to the hellish experience from the instructors which I never want to put myself through ever again.

Theodore 1 was up next and all I remember was that it was just really really shag with so little sleep, having to casevac Serin, walking long distances with many charlie mikes and plannings to be done. The 3rd night presented us with no sleep at all cause we missed the H-hour by like 3-4 hours then we casevacted through the night to our WPS where we had to do TAG, but just when we thought it was over and we could extricate back to camp…Charlie Mike Day 4 as I was given an APL appointment and my PL was Kiran. After a whole night without sleep and being given an appointment, I knew it was going to be tough. But I learned a lot, pulled through and we all headed back to camp :-)

Theodore 2 was the only thing left standing between us and home. Whilst it was everything similar to theodore 1 but slightly tougher and really really physical and mentally draining along with severe sleep deprivation, I was extremely, extremely gutted I wasn’t able to complete the Ex summex because my back was in so much pain and strain and I thought I was gonna OOC. I felt so sorry for everyone having to casevac me…

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I was never the strongest or fittest to begin with, in fact, I dare say I’m one of the most, if not the most, unfit in our course. However, I gave all that I could, and what I lacked in poor fitness, I genuinely hope I made up with trying to help in all other ways possible. I pushed my hardest, yet my back never fails to hit me with pains over and over again…

Being in the army isn’t a place worth getting injured. However, having been an athlete for years, we never give up despite whatever setbacks. If I fall down seven times, I’ll get up eight and keep fighting. I thought really hard between going out of course and staying on to fight and prove I’m stronger than I think I really am, and I’m really glad I chose the latter. I am beyond grateful for having det mates who would support and push me on despite being the weakest link, an encouraging and caring girlfriend and my family for being so concerned for me and bringing me for massages to relief my back pains every book out. I thank you all for everything.

ANYWAY! Some of my most memorable moments from CSLC includes:

Det 2 forever singing songs and coming up with sick remixes to keep our morale high!!! We may have had the least strength, but i strongly believed each and every one of us had the biggest heart!

Apparently during Ex follow me Encik K went into the tentage, started tapping everything he saw and said “you die you die” and he even tapped Alex who he thought was the enemy and said you die but Alex retaliated and said “encik I’m Alex” then Encik K tapped him and said “ok you revive” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

The incessant ringing of “the instructors are not merciless as to forbid us from reporting sick. We have to inform the instructors so that they can monitor us and aid us when the need arises”.

Once, Encik K did a PAR with us after our leap and bound drill and if not for the fact we were all so shag we would’ve laughed when he said “det 2…you all ah need to learn how to work together. You all are lacking the chemical to work together”.

One night in Taiwan we retreated to patrol base at 3.30am and were so tired but suddenly it started raining like mad and we all just didn’t care and slept in the open until about 5.30-6am when we had to layout our equipment. I woke up drenched, shivering and my teeth were making helicopter sounds and even after taking my gortex out to wear I was still shivering AF and even Alex who had more protection against the cold than me was shivering AF. All of a sudden I had the urge to take a dump…

There was an ops order with andrew as the PL and he had to read the MGR of our objective out and repeat it once but encik YK didn’t quite catch it and asked him to repeat again but…funny thing was that I understood why encik YK didn’t quite get what Andrew was saying cause all 3 times he read out a different MGR somehow LOL

I remember there was 1 day everyone woke up an hour late and we thought we gonna get fucked but thank god nothing happened. Don’t know how it happened, but literally everyone failed to wake up on time as far as I can remember but I’m thankful there wasn’t any punishment or anything man.

Ah this, we will never forget. How to OCS 101: Cheat for a test openly by reading the aid memoir in front of LTA G!

During one of our ops order, under a groundsheet, before mission (at night), we were listening then suddenly I heard snoring and when I turned to look, it was Kiran who fell asleep while listening to the ops order LOL

There was this form for those with letters of warning to fill up their particulars under “rank and name”. Who would’ve thought that hilarious Andrew would take what they asked for so literally and listed “SCT and Andrew” ?

Before Theodore 2, we were all getting punished because people were caught smoking. It was a really emotional moment because 2 of our guys were possibly on the verge of OOC and the enciks wanted to hear from us why they deserved to stay in the course. Everyone was saying really sad and emotional stuff until Andrew, amidst the tears and all, said “encik, they very steady”. Confused, encik asked what he meant. “They like brother”.

The constant mistaking of Kiran as Serin and vice versa especially when it was dark outfield.

All of us required a chinese name when we went to Taiwan. So the ones who didnt have any had to come up with their own... Serin = 猛兽 (meng3 shou4) Kiran = 小黑 (xiao3 hei1) Benroy = 大哥 (da4 ge1)

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I’ve learnt so much about myself in this course and also about other people. It’s true that we are able to see the true colours of people when they’re shag and all. During the course, we had a peer appraisal which required us to list the strengths and weaknesses of each other. While I was flattered to know that some of my strengths included being selfless, helpful and motivating, I made it a point to improve on my weaknesses as well which included being lazy, shag cannot think and the need to stay more composed under pressure. I really appreciate knowing what I can improve on because it is important to seek self improvement to better ourselves tomorrow from what we are today.

An excerpt from my journal in response to the question “what kind of a leader would i want to be?” thrown at us at the start of the course read that I wanted to be the type of leader who leads by doing together with my team and not by simply giving orders. As much as I could, I pledged myself to live up to this vision, although I wouldn’t really know for sure how badly or well I fared. Passing out from the course, a new challenge awaited in battalion and we were all more than ready to tackle the hurdle.

I was never happier to come back home to the comfort of my family and friends. I would’ve enjoyed that 1 week block leave after the course if not for the fact that I was mostly sick…………

6. Courage:

After 2 months of being separated from the rest of my batch boys, I was overjoyed to finally be reunited with my bmt friends and even happier to know I was in the same airborne stick with some of my closest bmt detachment mates like Zi An, Kenneth and Jarl. I was also tasked as the stick IC as my name happened to be the first on the nominal role.

My job as stick IC was made better by my stick mates who were mostly helpful and cooperative (when we had to set up stores) so I’m really thankful for that! We were also immensely blessed to have had 2 airborne instructors who were really funny and experienced and they were really really wonderful instructors especially so because they trusted us a lot. For most of our training exercises, our instructors always ended our training way earlier than other sticks if they saw that we could execute our practices properly (1 times good 1). There was one day we were already resting by 2.30pm while the others continued training till 4 or so.

The training for our airborne jumps were fun yet tiring mainly because of the smelly and heavy helmet that never fails to give me headaches. We were made to do stationery landing drills- side left & right, forward left & right and backward left & right. Then the exact same thing on a 2ft and 4ft platform. There were also all the collision drills and water, cable and tree landing drills. We were also taught how to prepare our parachutes, how to pack our parachutes and learn safety drills in response to an emergency. In addition, the advanced training facilities presented us with the opportunity to jump off from a 5-story platform and execute everything we’ve learnt in preparation for the actual airborne jump. Climbing up 5 stories in combat load is more tiring than the actual combat jump itself.

One of my most memorable experiences during airborne training was the time when I had a 38.2 degree Celsius fever but I didn’t want to miss training cause it was an important session. Thus, I proceeded to the medical centre to get myself IV-ed. I was given a total of 3 ice cold bags (it was really v v v cold man) from the fridge/freezer as my temperature did not drop before being given a fourth, room temperature bag, dropping my temperature to 35.8 degree Celsius. I remembered peeing a lot when I left the medical centre and when I told my medic friends I was given 4 bags they were all v shocked cause they said it was too much and that they were only taught to give 2 bags or something. Either way, I’m glad the 4 bags worked!

Anyway, I’ve been jumping nearly half my life so I was really honoured and glad to be given the opportunity to parachute jump out of planes at 1000ft. In order to be presented the “silver wings”, we had to execute 2 day clean fatigue jumps, 1 night clean fatigue jump, 1 day combat jump and 1 night combat jump.

My first jump was the scariest man, but with that few seconds of courage, we leaped out of the plane, free felled for a lil before our canopy deployed. While you’re in the air, everything feels so… slow and it feels as if time slows down but hell nah you’re dropping real quick man. It’s such a wonderful experience being airborne. I landed on the tarmac on my first jump. On my second, I landed just beside a drain and I was so thankful to have avoided a potential accident.

My third jump (night clean fatigue) was a scary one because apparently we were only allowed to jump when the wind was lower than 10 knots I think, from what I heard, but anyway because the wind was blowing so quickly we had to wait for the wind to go down. Hence, we went in circles while waiting for the wind speed to drop. When they deemed it was safe for us to jump, the jump-masters opened the door and I could hear the wind blowing so, so strongly. I was the 3rd jumper but my legs were already trembling. Nonetheless, the jump went well, thankfully, although I landed on the tarmac again.

The two combat jumps I had were my best jumps and I landed well clear of the tarmac and right in the center of the comfortable grass patch. With the memorable experience of being in the air over, we secured our silver wings and moved on to the next chapter of our lives: Hendon camp, 1 Cdo Bn. 😋

7. Development:

On that dreadful day we entered helldon, the sergeants’ and CSMs’ jiaobins could be seen awaiting our arrivals from the windows of our buses. As soon as we got out of the bus, we were made to form up orderly so that we could be separated into our respective companies. I was allocated to 4th company, detachment 4 and the only other people I knew were Yu Fei and Alden who were my CSLC det mates, Tim from my airborne stick and Aloy from my BMT det.

It took a bit of time getting to know the other 15 people in my detachment especially so because i slept in a different bunk from most of them (everyone else but me, Jiun Wei, Darren, Wengs and Edmund. I was also thankful my bed buddy was my old school love Tzelok and on the left one of my closest friends from BMT Jovian. The rest of my bunk were all really nice people, same goes for my coy as well as I got to know them gradually.

Anyway apart from the people, training coy was just mainly about tight schedules and training programs, lack of rest and welfare, punishments, being treated like slaves, 3 high key outfields which we got whacked every time we returned back to camp and the progressive route march trainings to build us up for our 72km.

My most memorable takeaways from training coy are:

1. Ex Welcome: Every batch will receive a turnout in the midst of our sleep from the senior coy to welcome us to Hendon. The usual stuff, change parades (LOL our first one they asked us to change to CIVI and we were all like WTF) , push ups and crunches and on our backs and bellies, FBO go down parade square get wet, lay out 7 pack and running to the other end of the parade square to touch the basketball stand, going to the muddy grass patch for leopard crawl, flutter kicks, fireman lift, bear crawl and push ups. All that along with the constant shouting and flickering of torch lights from the seniors. And while we were at the punishments the seniors were busy messing up our bunks. But when it ended, we all felt accomplished especially when we received the praises and welcomes of our seniors.

2. Ex All Out: On our way to the objective on our mission, we horlan cause we walked into some thick vegetation and our then DC Ziming couldn’t find our way out and was under the pressure of our complaints to get us out. Thankfully we got out about 2 hours or so later but we did miss the H-hour by quite a bit. It was also when Zhi Jia dropped a smoke grenade which even Sherlock Holmes till now hasn’t been able to find. On the way to the objective during commanders’ recce, somehow they got lost also but it was a blessing in disguise as they found a hidden path into the objective which later provided us with a mission where everyone was silenced (no shots fired). However, during withdrawal phase, we got lost for the third time as we walked in a circle and came back to the exact same spot and everyone was fucking pissed LOLOLOL.

3. Turnout before one of our route marches I believe and the sergeants found commando dessert and XDNYJ in our dustbins. Our ACSM stepped up to admit he was the one who ate the commando dessert and somehow the daffy duck-like voice of “Yizhong, don’t be a hero” keeps ringing in my head once in a while when someone brings it up.

4. How my 2 beds accommodated 3 people during training coy: Because Alden’s fan was spoiled, he came to squeeze with Tzelok and I every night. It was really enjoyable cause we would stay up late till 1am during training coy singing songs and making our own remixes LOL but these little gestures are what keeps our morale high and us motivated.

5. Alden and Tzelok’s performances and fashion shows once in a while in coyline which kept all of us entertained 😵

6. During our first IPPT, I told Aaron that I wasn’t confident but I could try to pace him if he wanted to get 10:10. He still followed me either way and I end up only running like 10:30. After that he went around telling everyone how he paced the wrong person which cost him his cdo gold. I was damn pissed and I hated him throughout the whole of training coy LOL but thankfully I used that hate to drive me to a PB of 9:48 the next IPPT and gradually decided hate is a toxic thing thus we became friends the end.

This was basically it for the local phase of training coy. There was so much going on yet everyday seemed to pass fast when we’re busy occupied with something to do. Yet, the times when we suffer most are also the times when the deepest bonds are forged. When you’re busy doing flutter kicks after a 3d2n outfield for at least 30 mins or so, look around and see the grit and pain on everyone else’s faces, you know you’re not alone and that we’re all in this together.

With Brunei coming up, we prepared ourselves by doing SBO workouts and stair climbs. We understood the rationale behind it but the boredom of repetitive workouts outweighs any thoughts of effectiveness the exercises brought about. Once again, I would have enjoyed that few days of block leave we had before flying off if I hadn’t fallen sick again. Next up: Brunei!

8. Proximity

Lakiun camp was a totally different atmosphere. To get from the cookhouse to our bunks, we had to walk up this slope known as the PIE. The bunks were really different from those back in Hendon cause it was like some long house with many many bunk beds which accommodated everyone. Seemed v traditional to me like some olden days barracks. Often, we had to battle against the limited water supply to bathe too as the water pressure would become really weak and at times water supply would cut off.

Time in Brunei passed really fast too cause we had many things to do, namely, Ex Nomad, Survival course, River crossing, Swamp walk, Ex Ascension, Ex Amphibia and Ex Malvina. It was like after every outfield we came back from, we only had a day in camp to do other things and prepare our items before we moved out for another exercise again.

Ex Nomad:

This was a 4d3n outfield, 3d2n if we cleared the checkpoints fast enough. My team was made up of Ziming, Shaochuan, Adam, Xuhua, Derrick, Daryl, Tim and myself. We were given 4 days worth of ration and accessory packs and it made our field packs super duper heavy man. Hence, when we first alighted from the bus and were thrown into the jungle, everyone stopped and made it a point to throw all their rations away. I threw mine such that I had enough left to survive on, plus I had brought extra maggi from Singapore anyway so it was more than enough.

Our navex wasn’t a campfire unlike other groups cause we wanted to find our checkpoints thus we didn’t hiong our fieldpacks whatsoever. However, after only finding 1 checkpoint on the first day and getting nowhere close to our second, we decided, screw it, we have to hiong and stuff after all. Thus we cached our bags and broke GPS. We started making better progress and eventually made it back on the 4th day. It was a really nice experience harboring out in the wild, sleeping on hammocks, cooking food and collecting water. I guess some parts of it did make it seem like a campfire.

My best memories from nomad included:

Adam and I being the only ones who went to every checkpoint cause at some checkpoints some wanted to rest! At the checkpoints which only us and someone else went to, either of us got hurt- Adam’s ankle and my ear.

On our 4th checkpoint, Adam, Tim and I were returning back after securing the checkpoint when a thorn from a plant got stuck in my ear. I pulled my ear out of the thorn and the next thing i knew my ear got cut and it was bleeding profusely and I could feel the thorns in my ears. However, I let the blood dry up till it hardened into a black solid and told my teammates I’d rather go back to camp to clean it up since it already hardened. If being cut was pain enough, washing my ear the next day took pain to a whole new level.

The constant need to find water to drink. In Brunei, water had to be taken from streams, following which we had to use a purification tablet so that the water would be sufficiently safe for us to drink. The water tasted like chlorine man and I wouldn’t want to drink Brunei stream water ever again.

Daryl Tng made 3 stupid comments during our navex. Firstly, he asked Ziming how to tell if the leaves were waxy. “I don’t know, you lick it?” came the sarcastic reply. Secondly, Ziming made coffee and asked if anyone wanted to drink. Daryl self jio-ed and said “sssir sir iiif if you dddon’t mind I I can finish it for you”. Obviously Ziming told him to F off LOL. Thirdly, and the best out of all 3, came when we were setting off early in the morning to go look for our checkpoint, with the fire from the previous night still burning weakly. Daryl then asked Ziming, “Ssssir sir permission to to pee on the fire to extinguish it”. WTF?!

Ziming sprained his ankle and had to rest so on our 4th checkpoint once again Tim, Adam and I went to find the checkpoint ourselves. Although I only knew about this like after we turned ops I believe, apparently, while we were gone and the rest were there resting, Ziming told the others “This is the life man…”.

The incessant ringing of “TANGO FIFTEEN COMMS CHECK”.

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Survival course & swamp walk:

Our survival course was very basic, just some visuals on already set up traps and shelter and the different types of edible foods we’re able to find in the wild. Then came the interactive part: the killing of the animals. The cadres demonstrated the killings of a quail, chicken, rabbit, catfish, monitor lizard and goat. Then, it was our turn to kill a quail each and although I felt sad for all the poor quails, it was a good survival experience. I cooked my quail but I think I overcooked it cause the meat tasted really hard and the tom yum seasoning from the maggi that I had put in apparently didn’t have much of an effect on the taste either man.

Swamp walk was one of the most hellish experiences we had. Because 3rd coy went for swamp walk a day before us, I heard that for most of them the swamp only went up to their knees at most and that an average team took around 3 hours or so to bash 1km out to the extrication point.

Well, my team certainly wasn’t “most of us” nor were we the average team.

When we got out from the boat, Jesus me, I was the first one out and the water was already up to my waist. Deep below, the mud was sucking my boots in and I had to use effort to pull my boots out of the mud to take another step forward. After what seemed like an eternity we finally got ourselves on some solid ground and tried to orientate ourselves to the ground. Along the way, we had to use the parangs we had to chop away at the plants which were in our way but lazy gary just decided to lie on the tall grass to flatten them and it worked so we did that for awhile LOL. Anyhow, I picked up two wooden sticks which were really useful as I used them to test how deep the swamp was whenever we encountered a water body and those two sticks saved me many times man. Other than the constant battling against the swamp wanting to suck us in, we had to battle against the countless number of thorns on every plant in that cursed swamp as well. After 5 hours of walking and not being able to find our way out, we finally got a bit of rest and downed bags for the first time in 5 hours. After another 2 hours, we finally found the boat- our ticket back home. The liaisons on the boat told us they were about to drive off already wtf we were so close to harboring man. Finally, around 1600, we got out of purgatory.

This experience is one that I certainly wouldn’t wanna go through again. I would also not advice not showering after swamp walk and sleeping man (I wonder who?)

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Stretcher PT:

By far the worst punishment I’ve experienced. Apparently, we made a lot of mistakes and were given many chances but my CSM had enough and decided to teach us a lesson. The medics prepared 5 stretchers with 3 jerry cans on each stretcher. We were called to the training shed and CSM, in his beret and smart 4, very calmly explained to us his usual rationale and makes sense open inverted commas blah blah bullshit. Then came the punishment. As far as I can remember, we had to do many squats with the stretcher, up and down stretcher many times, extended arm carry stretcher till we were done singing an army song before we were able to down stretcher, extended arm carry stretcher again and count to 100 before we downed stretcher.

Not everyone could fit around the stretcher so those that didn’t had to carry bungalores and matadors above their heads. OC also went mad and told those who were carrying matadors and bungalores to leopard crawl to some tree and back LOL.

“That’s just the appetizer” CSM calmly proclaimed.

Everyone was made to extended arm carry stretcher and were not allowed to down stretcher until every detachment, one by one, completed a stretcher shoulder carry and touched a lampost that was 50m away, before all of us could down stretcher. Extended arm carry stretcher is really one of the most tiring and mind weak punishments man. If not for idk cat 1 I think, we would have been deceased.

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Ex Malvina:

Who could ever forget OC’s ops orders? Although it was always thrashy but tbh it always kept me entertained. During the AOP for the ops order when he was presenting to the HQ, he suddenly raged cause he saw a shadow cast upon the screen. “EH who’s that blocking the screen!?” he asked angrily. “Oh its just me” came the reply from himself upon realizing the shadow cast upon the screen was his own LOL this is something I can never forget. During the actual OPO to our coy, he made even stupider remarks.

“Pass the chair from behind over your heads like it’s a rockstar.”

“Eh yall rather get zhua by 7.62mm rounds or get zhua by semen? I rather get zhua by semen.”

“So…the first level of safety is self/buddy aid… you all got your FAD and ID tag. FAD you guys know what you can do with it, as for the ID tag… you can use it as a tourniquet.”

“You guys will attack Cynthia from the south gate. Shiok ah? Attack her from below.”

“Eh yall keep going in out in out of Cynthia south gate, not wet meh? I go in out in out wet already.”

OC is crazy but damn funny man. The craziness didn’t stop even when Malvina began. Wearing his 650 the opposite direction, grabbing and throwing the 650 headset off one of our officer’s heads because the comms couldn’t get through and he was pissed and then proceeded to pump him, got pissed along the way to objective and made det 4 crawl upslope, got pissed in the objective and pumped officer again LOL WTF.

Malvina was really crazy but thankfully we completed it in 3d2n. Conquering Biang and the 7 knolls, river crossing and walking non stop made it really tiring, but once again I had my detachment to push me on. We even had to semula the assault into the objective cause it was shitty. Following which, we casevacted 3 times up and down the PIE and the leaders had to proceed for an IV session by the medics when we’re all shag AF alr. That pretty much summed up our whole Brunei experience.

I was able to keep myself motivated during malvina because of my detachment who never fails to stick together and help one another and I am so grateful for all of them and OC’s cheap entertainment during the movement phase through the 650. He said a ton of stuff during the movement phase, but there were 2 things he said that I will always remember and laugh at:

1. “Eh guys the rocks ahead here are pretty mossy so be careful because they are very slippery.” (A few seconds later) “I don’t want another Low Zi Ming” (he meant he didn’t want anyone else to sprain their ankles like Ziming my DC cause he sprained his ankle during navex LOL)

2. While climbing up biang, Suan Yang started to air vomit. An air vomit is like a vomit, just that vomit doesn’t come out of your mouth, air does, and you have to groan and make pitiful sounds to feel sorry for yourself. Concerned, DC5 comms OC and this is how the conversation went:

“4-9, this is 4-5. I have a CPL Suan Yang here, he vomited, so take note”.

“4-9 roger, monitor his condition.”

*awhile later*

4-9: “Oh shit! I just realised we said CPL Suan Yang’s name over the comms. That means that the enemies will know we have a soldier named Suan Yang. Ok nevermind, let’s give him the call sign vomit. 4-5, where’s the location of vomit? Not vomit’s actual vomit ah, but vomit himself……………………….” smlj??

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3 moments during malvina I will not forget too:

1. At the objective, Zi An was looking for a smoke grenade to smoke the enemy’s MG trench and I passed him mine. Then, right in front of my eyes, I witnessed the prowess of a Singapore softballer, as he threw the smoke grenade not only into the trench, but it also struck the helmet of the MG comm / gunner LOL

2. So my det was supposed to assault one part of the objective and I, along with some of the det 4 people were declared dead already. So as usual came the cries of “DRAGON!!” and everyone was shouting for the demo guys from my det. As we all know, Daryl Tng is also known as “guy” by everyone- or so I thought. Immediately, people started shouting for guy to go and help with the demo stuff. The message was passed around until someone changed guy to “the det 3 demo guy”. I remember someone shouting to Jon Tay “Eh call the det 3 demo guy (who was referring to Daryl)”, to which a very puzzled Jon Tay replied, “Which guy which guy!?” Obviously, being given the name guy isn’t a very good callsign man.

3. CO came to talk to all of us at the training shed after the IVs were done to declare the end of exercise. “I now declare, exercise greenwood, secured!” He said with a monotonous tone and nonchalant attitude. I swear, there was at least half a second of complete silence, before anyone realised that he just declared the end of our exercise and started one of the most awkward woots and claps I have ever heard.

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With Brunei secured, we were another step closer to that coveted red beret. Being away from home really sucked, yet all of these army experiences kept bringing us closer and closer to one another, especially so in our detachment. It’s true that training coy is shag and all, but we get to experience what others don’t- brotherhood. Everyone’s always there to help one another and is always there for each other. With every step along the way, my friends are always there for me, encouraging, motivating, pulling me along. In me a fighter, with me an army. What would I ever do without them?

9. Accomplishment

We only had less than 1 day of break at home after coming back from Brunei before we had to head back to camp to force prep for our 72km. We heard that previous batches were able to carry 3 pack only and they were able to drop their det stores off on a tonner after fighting the objective. However, we were given no mercy.

Everyone had the usual 7 pack and 2 water bags in their alice packs, along with det stores, MG, etc. Oh and some comfort food that we were allowed to bring as well. We finally set off at around 7pm on 04/10/16. I made it a point to not sleep at any of our rest points lest my muscles become inactive and I feel groggy and lethargic. Thus, as much as I could, I would high kneel at every rest point. We walked through pasir ris park, headed to pasir ris camp (12km mark), headed off to punggol waterway, walked through yishun and rested by the road side where OC raged and only gave us 5 mins of rest from the usual 15 mins, walked more and rested on some nice wooden ground near a playground if I remembered correctly and finally made our way to lorong asrama (35km mark).

The hardest part of the 72km was not only battling against blisters and cramps, but having to stay awake and not fall asleep especially the period when we were walking from 2am-5am. I even hallucinated cause I thought I saw a tree branch in front of my face and ducked to go under it, only to turn around to realise there was nothing there at all. Alden also hallucinated he told me he saw people high kneeling but when he walked past it was just a bush LOL.

Anyway, we went into our FRV and everyone, still in denial and obviously really tired from the first 35 km, reluctantly got out to enter the objective to fight our mission. The funniest part about the whole mission was that everyone who went in self declared dead cause they were so tired and simply sat down to sleep. My DC, Ziming, and I were left to fight the objective with Daryl and OC over at my side. Eventually, everyone successfully withdrew from the objective and we were given about 2-3 hours of rest inside the vegetation before we got called out to do a 1km walk idk wtf for (apparently to clock the distance lol), before we had lunch and rested for a little more.

The second half of our 72km began at east coast park. The bus brought us to ECP and we started marching around 3pm. We walked from Area A to Area G where we had dinner, them Area G back to Area A where we were given some food by seniors and CSM2 I think, who came down to motivate us, before walking the usual route back, the long ass stretch behind the airport, where we were given ice cream by CO after we completed that stretch, walking into changi beach park where we were given ice cold 100plus just before the SAF ferry terminal, and then back to camp. We reached back in camp at around 4am on 06/10/17. We were done!

Slept for a few hours before we had to do rehearsals for our red beret presentation. Many of us were aching badly and had bad blisters. For me, I had trouble even walking and I had to limp when I walked cause I later learned that I strained my right hamstring while doing the 72km. Nonetheless, everything paid off when our families and friends came down for our parade. All my hair stood and I’ve never felt prouder when we looked up at the crowd with our berets on for the first time. This is what it feels like to achieve something. The feeling of accomplishment, the reward that we’ve earned after many months of hardship. We deserved it. And that’s because we all worked so, so hard for it. It was one of the proudest moments, if not the proudest, for me in 20 years of my life.

Finally, after 10 months of having to constantly shave our heads, we were no longer trainees. We’ve turned operational! (06/10/16)

10. Anguish

I had to go to the doctors over the weekends because my hamstring was hurting pretty badly. Even a simple stretch would kill me. I was eventually given a 3 week attend B to rest my strained hamstring/ adductor. As such, I had to give the 7-day outfield, Falcon 1, the monday immediately after we got our berets a miss. I’ll be honest, it feels great to miss an outfield especially a long ass one because it just feels better to stay in bunk man… but after hearing all the stories and experiences from my det mates, I wished I was there to share their pain and suffer alongside them…

My hamstring injury aggravated my back injury again to become worse, because my back had to compensate for my hamstring or so. As such, after my 3 week status ended, I was given a 6 week status for my back. It hurt when I bent at certain angles, when I tried to carry something heavy, when I woke up in the morning it would feel really stiff and I’d feel the most pain whenever I had to cough or sneeze. After months of back problems in the army, finally, I was given some time to rest my aching back.

However, throughout this 6 weeks which I was resting, I felt really horrible on the inside having to miss everything and not being able to participate in most activities. I would miss exercises with my detachment, outfields too, to the point that I felt like they were beginning to dislike me. I was becoming a Jarryl Tng. I also began to feel really useless in coyline and because of that I had thoughts of requesting to CSM to allow me to go to the signal platoon. I thought really long and hard about it but finally decided that…no, leaving coyline would just be letting my detachment down even more. After making my mind up, I became more positive and focused on recovery so that I could rejoin my detachment asap.

I felt better at the start of december and joined back for VOC, falcon 2b and tiger trail. After being distant from my detachment for some time because I felt like I was a disappointment due to my injury, I made it a point to be more active in our det. My back pains still comes every now and then but it felt a lot better than months ago.

Building up to ATEC, we had to do stupid 1km marches around camp to acclimatize to the heat. Which were really pointless. Nonetheless, we packed nearly the whole camp into containers before embarking on our way to the greatest fight of our NS lives. Next up: Thailand!

11. Together

The only 2 things about Saiyok camp I really hated was:

The really long ass walk from our bunks to the cookhouse

The 40 degree weather (which meant extremely hot,humid and stuffy bunks)

The cookhouse food was really good but the canteen was a whole new level. Not only was the food better, it was cheap as well, especially the drinks. Now you could get a large drink almost the size of our super big gulp from 7-11 at only $2 SGD, plus you could ask for literally any drink and they would blend it up for you. My personal favourite which till now I still crave is the Green milk tea oreo ice blend. It was really really reallyyyyyyy good. The canteen also sold a variety of necessities, shirts, bags and provided keychain embroidery services.

Saiyok camp was also another new experience because the showers weren’t actually showers, we had to fill our pails/ the tub up before using our bailers to scoop the water onto our bodies. On some days when it was really hot, I would fill a pail of water and just dump the whole pail of water over my head. Because Thailand was so hot, whenever i did my laundry and left it in bunk to dry, it only took about 3 hours at most for my clothes to dry (tried tested and proven).

Anyway, the key events in Thailand for us included navex, 1 company warm up mission, 1 battalion warm up mission, 2 company ATEC missions and 1 battalion ATEC missions. I wasn’t able to go for navex because being the “planning room IC” I had to stay to set up the planning room.

BN warm up:

I remember being activated in the wee hours of the morning to suddenly join the advanced party because they needed extra people to set up equipment. So I rushed to change, grabbed my stuff and immediately loaded up the tonner. I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth man. Anyway, we had to set up the planning stuff at kao meng camp I think and like move con is really shag cause we had to shift almost everything from the planning room we set up in saiyok up the tonner, then shift it down the tonner at kao meng and set up a planning room there.

We were supposed to walk about 7km or so I think, as part of our first mission (just the movement phase only if I remember) but suddenly the exercise got cut because gunshots were heard somewhere around the vicinity. Thus, the whole battalion made their way back to a training shed and rested there for the night. Around 6am when it was bright enough for villagers to not mistake us for trespassers, we set off on our movement phase and then transited to defence for awhile before heading back to camp.

Coy warm up:

Our Coy warm up mission was a block mission so although we didn’t have to walk much, we had to carry heavier loads than usual. After finding an FRV, the recce team led by Charles followed our SRT to show us the location they had found which we could be deployed for block. The SR were gonna deploy us on the other side of the road but because Charles felt that it was too open and dangerous, he went to look for his own area to deploy us.

There was a path towards the road and because Arvin and I were the look out force, we had to go 500m down one side of the road to be deployed (1km initially) while the others went the other direction and they had to climb up a knoll to be deployed. As for Arvin and I, we had to walk down the road. There were minimal lights so we were almost practically walking in the dark. As we were walking… all of a sudden we were somewhat surrounded by 6-8 dogs which were barking at us incessantly. I was really afraid that the dogs’ barkings would wake the villagers who were living around the area up and they might mistake us for trespassers. Without haste, we quickened our footsteps and walked towards a potential location to settle down for our look out.

Little did we know, the place which we’d settled down at was actually private property / land. We quickly evacuated but were stopped by the glaring beam of a flashlight. I never felt my heart beat so fast and many thoughts went racing through my mind: who that person was, what he wanted, how do we get away but most importantly, whether he had a gun or not. Immediately, we raised both our hands up and told him we were from Singapore. The villager looked at us, didn’t say anything but intuition told me he acknowledged our presence and knew we meant no harm. We then continued walking and found an even better spot to settle down at. This has been one of my most frightening moments in 20 years of my life man.

Having to stay awake throughout the whole night manning comms and keeping a look out was really tough. We waited for really long but the vehicles did not drive by at all. At the stroke of daybreak, the vehicles suddenly drove past and we alerted my det, who attempted to take the vehicles down but failed. Thankfully, another det who was deployed further down took the vehicles down! Eventually, we were all called back to the road junction where we split off to board the tonner which would bring us back to camp.

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In between the warm up missions and the start of ATEC, we had a bit of down time and was able to let our hair loose a little. Besides canteen breaks, we found ways to entertain ourselves by conducting karaoke sessions with the mic and speaker used for exercise conducts and one even took it a step further by giving us an wushu demonstration, spinning a stick with such grace and skill until a loud “piak” sound was heard when he struck his forehead with the stick, causing it to bleed profusely. I was busy throughout the whole of ATEC doing my uni applications because I only found out about SIT physiotherapy from Tim in Thailand and wanted to apply for it really badly. Thus, I had to make use of whatever free time I had, as much as possible, to list my achievements, write an essay and basically fill up any requirements needed for the application. It was really tough but I was finally able to submit the application 2 hours before we moved out for ATEC mission 1.

We were given our no.1 pictures and letters from our families just before mission 1 started. My detachment also had a mini pep talk before the start of mission 1 and while the main message everyone was trying to convey was that they’ll give their all for this last 10 days, certain individuals were more focused on improving themselves- shao chuan assured us that he will try not to toh despite always toh-ing back in training coy and all.

With that, we set off for the biggest fight of our NS lives. Told myself to be a team player, a strong individual not only for myself but my detachment as well. We were going to bring home the BCU together.

ATEC Mission 1 (coy):

I remember we had to walk around 20km to get to the objective and what made it worse was that we horlan a little at some point of time too thus we had to skirt around some area and walk even more. During the movement phase, Shao Chuan, despite assuring us that he will try not to toh during mission, actually toh-ed and vomited. Immediately, my DC Charles comms OC and told him Shao Chuan was down, to which OC replied: “Can you check if he is wearing his blue band or not?“ After Charles told OC that Shao Chuan was indeed wearing his blue band, OC raged and said “Do you know what that blue band means? It means do not bring me out on a mission!” Subsequently, Shao Chuan fell out and walked with the umpires.

At the FRV, we were told to put on our hard and soft plates but all of us only brought out the front hard plate cause it was too heavy. CSM decided to go around feeling everyone’s armour plates and ended up raging as well cause almost everyone brought one hard plate only LOL.

In the objective, everything was really chaotic. OC was just proning outside for idk what reason and raging till he finally went in and got himself killed, 2IC was busy shouting at us “THIS IS A FUCKING FIRE FIGHT” while we were frantically trying to take cover and destroy the objective. Eventually, we whiskey-ed and had to casevac OC and a few of the other causlties about 3-4km and OC was just being a bitch and making noise like “wah it actually feels quite shiok to be on the stretcher” and constantly pressuring David to comms back to HQ until one of the umpires told him to shut up cause he was dead LOL. We finally returned back in the morning, tired, hungry and dirty, but satisfied. 2 more missions to go!

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In between the 2 ATEC coy missions, there was a coincidental sudden outbreak of GID in our camp. Because of that, many people had to be quarantined in Hong Thong hall and we were left with just enough people to bring out on our missions, with some from our coy having to top up other coys as well. The biggest problem, however, was that the HQ wanted to take as much precaution as possible with everyone else that was healthy hence they banned fresh rations and we were made to eat combat rations, at least till atec was over or so but obviously, no one in the right mind would be willing to eat combat rations…

ATEC Mission 2 (coy):

This was going to be another block mission for us and obviously our load was going to be even heavier because we had to bring everything and then some spares. The walk to our FRV was supposedly a short 8km or so yet tiring due to the amount we carried. Once again, I was deployed as the look out force, this time along with Yijun and Tim. Shao Chuan was made to stay behind so I became the signaller. Charles had to deploy us such that one of us had to be alone and the other two as a pair. Thankfully, Tim volunteered to be the lone ranger as he was a scout before and didn’t mind, on the other hand, I was afraid to be out there alone esp after my warm up mission encounter with the dogs and villager.

I was deployed on another side of the road leading towards our det with Yijun. We were hiding behind a bush that was once again, in front of a house. It was 3am and no vehicles were expected to pass by at that time so we took turns to take short naps till sunrise. As we awoke and started our lookout, the villagers awoke too and saw us but thankfully they were not as shocked or surprised as I’d have expected them to be. The villagers were really really nice, asking if we needed any food or even a shower, which we politely declined. However, we were forced to accept a cup of coffee which a villager had already made and were really thankful for her act of generosity.

There also happened to be a RTA soldier who lived there and he was really excited to hear that we were on a mission and voluntarily joined in. We communicated using google translate and when asked if he was in the special forces he just cheekily smiled. He told us that he had found the rest of our detachment by following their footsteps and we were extremely impressed. Not only did he help us to keep a look out, he dragged Tim and Yijun along to a road further down for awhile to look out for the vehicles because it was a better spot and also voluntarily went back to get cold drinks for all of us (of course we passed him money) when we finally ended the exercise.

In the end, no vehicles were destroyed I think, as they took another route apparently and we were all really pissed because det 2 had a clear sight of all the vehicles which were parked by the road side but OC told them not to engage, causing us to fail(?) the mission if I remembered correctly. With another mission down, we headed straight to Kao Meng camp for our charlie mike.

ATEC Mission 3 (BN):

We were allowed to bring stuff to bathe and change into in an ops box along with soap and slippers so that we were able to feel a lil refreshed but the limited water supply at Kao Meng camp meant we had to bathe quickly so as to reduce water wastage. We were allowed to rest for the rest of the day and although there were ninja vans around selling noodles, I did not want to take the risk of eating their food as I was afraid that the food would be dirty and contaminated. Thus……….I opened a packet of combat rations, took like 3 bites or so, immediately regretted and threw it away. But that was enough to satisfy my hunger at least for that night, as I resisted the temptation to ninja van.

The next day, we had to do planning and everyone was busy working their asses off. There was also a pre jump in the afternoon and it was pretty unique how we had to adapt to the environment like how we used a gs bench to do our side landings and roll on the hard sandy ground, unlike the soft cushioned ground and facilities we had at PRC. Along the day, we had to rig up our combat jump equipment as well so the day pretty much passed by quickly as we had lots to do and were so preoccupied. At night, I finally gave in to my temptations and ate the ninja van noodles and it was literally the first proper meal I’ve had in 2 days and while I still doubted the hygiene of the cooking, the delicious meal certainly made up for whatever doubts I had.

The next morning, we were made to lay out super duper early at like 6am or so when everyone was just beginning to wake up cause my csm was just kiasu af and after laying out we just waited there for everyone else LOL. We then made our way to some airbase where we rigged up our parachutes and combat equipment, not forgetting to mention camo-ing on. It was the first time in almost 9 months since I last did a jump and the first time doing it with my ILBV on. I was honestly really really scared but the thought of being able to get my Thai wings gave me the much needed motivation to overcome my fears.

“Green on, go!”

As usual, that few seconds of free fall in the air was super thrilling yet scary but everything else became better after my parachute deployed. We had the added trouble of having to find a safe place to land because there were many trees, shrubs, hardened plantations, a cattle farm and even houses and a pond which we were told to avoid.

I landed just in front of a shrub but my parachute got stuck in the shrub. I stoned for awhile and tried to recall how to de-rig my equipment before collapsing my canopy and packing all my equipment up. It was at least a 1km walk from where I landed to the assembly area which we were supposed to gather at. I followed the general direction which everyone was walking towards and thankfully, along the way there was a safety vehicle driving around offering us cold water to drink.

At the AA, we swapped our field packs, ILBV and dummy rifles for our actual rifles, alice packs and chocolate bar ILBV. We had to wait till dusk till the last person was back from the jump before we could collapse security and begin our movement phase. It was at least another 20km walk to our FRV and we walked through the night. One of the best moments of ATEC came when we were contacted halfway through our movement phase and someone from my company, whom I shall not name, threw a smoke grenade and yelled “I FUCK YOUR MOTHER”. OC immediately raged and demanded to know who shouted that LOL. It was really hella funny and one of my best memories in the army ever. Around 4am, we finally made it to the FRV which was situated on a knoll. It had to be really big so as to accomodate the whole battalion and we had to climb all the way up to reach our company’s spot in the FRV. After resting for awhile, we had to walk another 1-2km to our FUP and were told to attack at sunrise.

While entering the FUP, Edmund mistook 2IC for Wengs and proceeded to slap him on the back and exclaimed “yo brother wengs!”, to which 2IC turned around and smiled/ patted edmund on his shoulder LOL

When we finally went into the objective we were made to orange around OC and stay alert as the enemies could approach us from any direction. However, our location was not attacked in the end as the enemies attacked the other companies instead. After the fight was done, we had to immediately transit to defence and had to dig a shell scrape to prone in it. I had already begun digging mine when we were told we had to change the location of our defence and I was like wtf man I shouldn’t have begun digging. At our new location, we laid out our white tape to demarcate our shell scrapes and dug a little so that it looked like we tried, but CSM was clearly not satisfied and kept telling us to look at his model example and to dig properly. But we still didn’t do it man.

At around 1100 or so, the words “heaven now” finally graced upon us. That was it. It was the end of our exercise, the end of ATEC. After 10 grueling days of ATEC, we’ve finally completed it. We headed back, packed everything up, had our thai wings presentation, RnR and finally, back home to Singapore. Back to our loved ones once again.

The whole of ATEC mission 2 builiding up to mission 3, especially the airborne jump followed by the 20km walk through the night would definitely be ranked among the most shag things I’ve done in army alongside 72km and 5km SOC.

12. Pride

What was there to do after ATEC? Many of us wondered the same too. Yet, somehow, the army never fails to be professionals in coming up with something for us to do. For a period of time, we had the dreaded CCT trainings which everyone tried to pon and all and it was honestly really lame and boring, which I eventually failed because of a little BM to the stupid grader who was being a cunt.

Bilat: The next big thing for us was a bilateral training exercise held at PRC in conjunction with a ranger battalion from the RTA. It was a really fun 2 weeks with them although during that period we had 3 consecutive weeks of 1-day weekends due to pre jump and NDP trainings happening concurrently. We did many things together such as a blue jay ex, rappelling, going on an outfield exercise, a supposed airborne Chinook jump which got cancelled due to inclement weather and our signature commando challenge. We really learned a lot and were honoured to be treated to such high levels of performance and professionalism from them.

SAFDP/ NDP: Arguably the best and proudest experience of my entire NS journey. The trainings were extremely tedious, SAFDP trainings on Tuesdays and Thursdays while NDP trainings were on saturdays. From May onwards, NDP Saturday trainings began and towards the end of May SAFDP started concurrently. The first few trainings were especially tedious because we had to stand in the hot sun and practice our stationary drills over and over again. It was especially tiring when we were made to hentak non stop or when we held our rifles up during feu de joie. Our only source of motivation during these trainings were the meals which were a lot better than the usual SATs food.

SAFDP was really hellish as we had to stand in the parade for almost an hour or so and the whole process, especially the arrival of all the big fucks and prize presentation took really really long. However, we were really glad that SAFDP went really well and with that concluded, trainings were now adjusted to Wednesdays and Saturdays instead of the usual Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

We made mistakes during the build up to NDP such as during NE show 2 where we all fucked up and were off beat and had to skip to change foot which made us look really really ugly, and also another time during Preview 1 where I was the only one who went off beat and fucked up. I felt so bad and demoralized but also made it a point to practice more so I took the few trainings that we had more seriously after that.

Anyhow, NDP was really wonderful, the food was good- they had koi, old chang kee, koufu, mr bean and constantly supplied us with KFC and pizza hut for meals; the atmosphere was wonderful but most importantly the experience was breathtaking. I will never forget the experience of being in the GOH and standing in front of a crowd of thousands. This is something that will be inevitably etched in my memories because that feeling of pride standing in the parade definitely cannot be compared to anything else.

There were also a few high key events left to clear after NDP such as heli-rapelling, small boat ops, UO live firing and of course, all the build up runs gearing towards AHM. Who could forget the annoying arsf manning period we were under which prevented us from fully enjoying our last few months because we had to lay out every once in awhile and had to carry our ops phone everywhere we went?

Leading up to ORD, I had plans to get back to track so that I would be ready for it in uni hence I got Bryan to sign me up for the inter-clubs under safsa. Thus, I had to juggle trainings in September but it was rather irregular because on days which we had things to do in camp I was unable to train and I was only able to leave on days which we were given early nights off. October was a little better as there was an official email sent out which entitled me to 3 half days a week to train. Unfortunately, I fell really sick for a whole week, 2 weeks before the competition date and had to do a lot of catching up when I got back. I did my best despite being slightly injured also and only managed a 6.12m, but I guess I couldn’t expect much from 2 months of irregular trainings and my first competition in 2 years, but it was definitely a wonderful experience and a stepping stone to my targets in the future.

13. Bittersweet

The ORD parade we had was the perfect closure to our NS lives. Finally, after 22 months, we’ve reached the end. It was indeed an arduous journey, but one which I’ll be sad to leave because I’ve made so many friends and created lots of memories that’ll be there to stay for a lifetime. However, I’m happy to finally be freed of the SAF’s clutches and return to civilian life.

I’m really thankful to have been given a letter of appreciation from the battalion because it’s always nice to know your efforts are appreciated. I was like some saikang slut in coyline. There’s Planning room IC, Stationery IC, Multimedia IC, Brunei Laundry IC, NDP no.1 IC and even emcee.

No more guard duties (and the guard duty nigels), no more rifle cleaning, no more saikang work, no more arsf bullshit and no more people who try to pull their rank on you.

I may have found that missing pink IC I’ve been searching for for 22 months, but in those 22 months, I’ve also found comfort in what I’d call family, friends whom I’d be willing to risk anything for, a band of brothers; all of which are priceless compared to that pink IC. It has indeed been one hell of a ride. ORD LOH! (07/11/17)

14. Maturity

Looking back, I would say that I’ve definitely grown, changed and become so much more mature. Army has indeed made me a better person in many aspects. Being in the army has also developed in me a sense of protection for my family and has definitely made me more responsible as well.

If being in the army has taught me anything, it was that we are indeed stronger than we think we really are and our mind knows no limits. As long as we are able to overcome that mental barrier, we are able to accomplish anything realistic.

I am honestly thankful for the way army has changed me, for the better, but I would never have been able to complete my national service journey or improve holistically if not for these people who’ve been there for me along the way, in one way or another:

CREDITS:

1. To my BMT detachment, platoon 2 det 4: Weijie, Justin, Ian, Weikang, Jon Tay, Aloy, Douglas, Alex, Zian, bryan, Jarl, Kenneth, Akshay, Declan, Isaac, Sherman - We were undoubtedly the worst detachment in BMT. Our detachment picture had no achievements at all. Yet, I believe each and every one of us are all different and special in our own ways which made our detachment so fun to be in. Thank you all for giving me an opportunity to go through BMT with you guys because I had a really really fun and enjoyable time with you guys.

To Zi An: I think you’re a really wonderful person and an even better friend even though people might think you chao ka HAHA and it’s funny how I didn’t like you back in school and you didn’t like me either but you’re definitely one of the good friends I’ve made and gotten to know here in army cause we’ve been together from BMT to airborne to 4th coy!!! So glad that army gave me the opportunity to know such a step guy like you are. Hope I’m not as step as before anymore man 😛😜

To Kenneth: Another one of my friends who’s been with me from BMT to airborne to 4th coy. Together with Zi An we had lots of fun in BMT always doing stupid things and shit. I’ll never forget our silly handshakes hahaha you never fail to crack me up with your antics. Thankful for our friendship!!

To Bryan and Jarl: Both of you always call out to me when you guys walk past me, one “smoker” and the other “Jar-le”. Thank you guys for these simple gestures when we see each other around despite being from diffrent coys :-)

2. To my other BMT mates: We were a really unique and fun platoon and it was more fun being under encik kan and spencer. Thank you for the memories. Irwin, Jovian, Rayen, Ryan wee, Kiran and Keoni are but some of the people I constantly talk to and disturb even after BMT so I’m really thankful for the opportunity to have gotten to know yall during BMT!!!

To Irwin: You can try to apply for one of the seven wonders of the world and you’ll probably get in. You are amazing. From barely making it to leaders course cause you missed the SIT test (but encik spencer knew your potential and fought really hard to get you in which you rightfully deserved), to being the distinguished honour grad for CSLC, to topping OCS and being the SOH and now becoming our NS OC. What the hell is wrong with you? What can you not top? I admire the way you work, you do not let relationships/ friendships get into your way when you work and you are just so focused on your task, which as much as I like it I hate it as well because you’re just so overzealous and siao on. Work and army aside, you’re a true bro as well, you visited me once when I was sick for the whole week in october and bought me drinks, but let us not forget the time during BMT field camp when you dug the thrash to find Jarl’s safety flag. No one else would do that but you, which makes you so admirable. You’re one of my closest friends here in army and have stuck with me from the start till the end too, so thank you so much OC sir. ❤️

To Rayen: You’re one of the first faces I saw on the first day of BMT that I remember because you looked so scary man and I thought you were like some paikia. Funny how everything changed when I actually thought wrong and you turned out to be one of the most chill and nicest guys like you were so calm when Jon Tay wanted to like fight you LOL. You’re like a big bro to me. My biggest memory would be me telling you before CSLC started that I was scared man like we were gonna go through lots of hell but you reassured me and said “don’t worry, I’ll take care of you”. You don’t know how much that meant to me man, I was glad that the people around me, about to go through the same hell as me, were still so positive. It really made me feel a lot better. Thank you <3

To Jovian: I hate having to compete with Shin Ler for your love. You’re one of my most trustworthy and best pals who’s always been there for me since BMT and during training coy when you slept beside me <3 I know I can count on you if i ever need anything man and I just love to touch you and disturb you cause you always ask me to go away LOL but all jokes aside I am so thankful to have gotten to know you and for us becoming such good friends is definitely one of my best takeaways in army. We were never same detachment or whatsoever, but I love you and thanks for accepting me into the love triangle. 😏

To Ryan Wee: My beloved DC for a few months who was only there for lay outs and always got me to draw equipment for you… we have come a long way and I love disturbing you all the time man cause you’re such a joker. Really love seeing and having you around cuz ur so buff and cool I 1 2 b lik u <3

To Keoni: We both know I’m still waiting for her follow request… and also I enjoy always calling out to you and like hearing you call out to me cause the next thing that follows is her name and you wanting to beat me up. You’re such a cool Hawaiian kid that never fails to smile whenever I see you and is really one of the nicest guys around. Thanks for being such a joker since BMT and for our friendship which is fueled by you know who ;)

3. To my CSLC detachment, 71st CSLC det 2 and instructors: Andrew, Justin Lim, Weiren, Serin, Zhenxin, Yufei, Justin Ng, Cleven, Mingyao, Kiran, D Joe, Alden, Shaoshxuan, Daryll, Taizhi, Alex and Sgt Auston, Lta Zhigang, Lta Klement, Encik Kan and Encik Steven - All I can say is a really really huge thank you to all of you for helping me get through this period because you guys made sure I was never alone and was always there to help me under your guidance and tutelage. Like I said above, I was never the strongest nor fittest, in fact one of the weakest, but with every one of you there to push me on, I was able to complete the course. We may have had the smallest strength, but we also had the biggest heart.

To Weiren: You’ve been such a bro from the start to the end of CSLC to me and always willing to help me out/ be there for me. Glad I was able to give you neck massages too when we were high kneeling outfield to prevent you from falling asleep lolololol. Thank you, for always having my back.

To Serin: We’ve been pals since BMT man and you’re such a big bro, always there to protect us and have our backs. Be it outfield or in camp, you are always motivated and never fails to brighten us up with your bubbly, cheerful and joker nature. It will be hard to forget all the times we did guard duty together, the stories we shared with each other and the carousel post you were made to take down. 😄 Thank you :)

To Kiran: F me I thought Serin was Kiran

To D Joe: You are an absolute joker and so chill and messy and half fk but that’s why I love you man. We never talked back in school and I thought you were like some druggy hahaha but everytime I see you you always call out to me and seem so happy and excited. I’m gonna miss seeing you around!!! 😊❤️

To Shaoshxuan: My CSLC buddy who was always there to support me in every aspect. I am so thankful to have had you as my buddy cause we got close pretty fast since we were from the same school and you were really friendly and helpful. You, being very fit, and so much more than I was, always encouraged, motivated and pushed me along in every thing we did, from the 6km fast marches in Singapore to the 12km fast march in Taiwan. You never failed to cheer me up or reassure me whenever I was demoralized or worried. Thank you so much buddy :)

To Daryll: It’s damn funny how CSM never fails to text you for stationery shit, or come up to me to ask about tes set stuff even after knowing us for months. He still probably doesn’t know who is who but it’s something I’d definitely look back and laugh about. It’s also funny how everyone can remember the one R and two L’s in your name but everyone spells my name wrongly either Jaryll or Jarryll wtf. I remember the time we were at asrama and you got heat exhaustion. We all thought you were gonna die man and I was really so, so worried for you and I am so thankful that nothing bad happened to you man. Also glad that us 4th sgts remained strong and together in 4th coy. You’re a true friend and bro man, I am indebted to you for the time you covered my guard duty because I had conjunc. Thank you!

To Taizhi: You are a really smart and nice person and a really good friend who never fails to lend a helping hand to anyone in need. You’re also another of my pals who knows that athlete life man ;) So grateful for having you in 4th coy cause you’re really one of the best officers around man. Thank you for being a person I look up to!!!

To Alex: What can I say man you were already OCS material since BMT cause you’re wayang and commanding man (ok jk about wayang) but apart from fitness aspects which everyone laughs at you for you’re a really nice and helpful guy since BMT and I was happy to be in the same det as you but not happy you’re always up on the stretcher and I never was. Nonetheless, Someone who’s reliable and got my back man so thank you :)

To Sgt Auston and Lta Zhigang: Two people who I really look up to and have guided me so much along the way. I remember texting Sgt Auston about my worries back then and till today I still remember what you told me, that no matter how dark the night is, the sun will always rise. This really got me through some of the toughest times because it reminded me that the suffering and pain will definitely come to an end. Lta Zhigang never fails to motivate and understand us and you’ve been such a good teacher and instructor, molding us into desirable soldiers with standards. Pretty sure the whole detachment is thankful for not just the two of you but every other instructor attached to our det as well!

4. To my other CSLC batchmates: Glad to have been able to make friends with so many of yall and that everyone is really amiable man, it’s always nice to see a familiar face, a smile or a wave. It was tough being a trainee, but we were definitely tougher!

To Charles: I admire you. You’re really a role model to me and you have a wonderful disposition and personality. People say no one is perfect but you’re an anomaly. Being an omega level mutant and always being connected with me through our thoughts will be something about us I’ll really miss. Hope to see you around again and thanks for being Charles Xavier. <3

To Helio: Damn am I so blessed to have gotten to know you. People say you and Charles are really similar which I agree but you’re more of like the big bro that looks out and takes care of everyone. You’re reallylike such a big bro to me man and I love disturbing you, Heliolisk. You are a wonderful person and friend 😘

To Caesar: Hi scissors! You always bring a smile to my face cause you’re so cheerful and bubbly man and just someone I will always remember cause you’re scissors. 🙊🙉🙈

To Kenneth: Annoying, but actually really funny and never fails to stop and say hi or talk to me or disturb me cause you know I’ll do the same to you so thank you!!!!!!!!!!

5. To my Airborne stick mates, Stick 5: It was an honour being stick IC under such a cooperative and lovely bunch of people man everyone was just really nice and friendly and made my life so much easier. Really glad I was not only able to have made lots of friends here but to be reunited with my BMT det mates too. Thank you all!!!

To Mike: Glad to have gotten to know you and got close to you during airborne man cause you’re a really nice and fun guy to be around and a real bro as well. Really appreciate your friendship and all the little talks and stuff we have when we see each other, thank you😊

To Genghao: F me you’re a really funny guy Mr Homer Simpson and you are always laughing and smiling and so cheerful I like it a lot that’s why I love to disturb you be it with netballer or volleyball friend’s sister LOL. So glad to have had you in 4th coy as well and really thankful for having you in CMT to always answer my queries about medical center and stuff!!!!!! ❤️

6. To 4th Coy: I’m so,so thankful for being in 4th coy and that I was able to talk to everyone and got to know everyone in my time in battalion. I like how we’re so disciplined yet rabz and always come to a common consensus esp when OC is being OC and CSM is as overzealous as Irwin. I wouldn’t have had it any other way and it was really a hell hell helllllllllllllll of a ride with this company and an extremely wonderful experience!!! I will definitely miss so much about this company, CSM forever mistaking Daryll for me and vice versa, everyone calling me Jarryl Michael Chong till some people even thought it was my real name (Vignesh told CSM his reserve was Jarryl Michael Chong and CSM was like who the fuck is that LOL), Jee Heng who’d be insulted by everyone, Sour lamb who’d be suan-ed by everyone, Daryl Tng fucking around and the list goes on.

On a personal level:

To Jhoon: My travel buddy form home to camp and vice versa. I will miss you a lot you’re a great friend and a chubby teddy bear. Will especially miss talking to you and sharing lotsa stuff on our bus rides to camp!!!!

To Wilson: For being my best demo man and me being your best sgt we both deserve a clap!!!!

To Jasper: Thank you for allowing me to cut queue and return arms sometimes LOLOL you are a really really nice guy man :)

To Yanrui: For always saying good morning to me whenever I see you in coyline because usually you’d be sleeping till past noon. I will miss it.

To Jiawoei, Mingjing and Chairat: All of which have something in common which is that I’ve shared my problems with you guys before and we’ve had HTHTs hahaha, but I never forget them and I’m really glad to have opened up to you guys and for the advice and trust you guys have given me. Also to Jiawoei, looks like we’ll never know who’s faster cause you pussy go take status. 🙊

To Jeeheng: Who’d never fail to insult me and try to beat me up and then I’d insult you back and run away but all jokes aside, you are such a soft guy inside with a really nice heart so, put that to good use man, and thanks for being banter.

To Leonard: Oh Lenny, really funny how we only started talking after knowing our mums who were colleagues like 20 years ago or something knew each other LOL, otherwise I’d still be thinking you’re a cold and scary person man. Nonetheless, I’d miss talking to you and disturbing you around coyline although I rarely even saw you in coyline back then… 🙊🙉🙈

To OC and CSM: It was a really wonderful memorable experience working with you guys and you guys undoubtedly shaped and molded the identity of 4th coy man. OC being crazy and making everyone wanna decomm him and CSM always being so anal and kiasu about everything. Yet, you guys are so unique and funny in your own ways and I am just thankful to have had an experience under you guys and I guess I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way cause it left me with lots of memories man.

7. To my Bunk mates: There were certain point of times I wanted to shift to det 3 bunk but the main factor that kept me in our bunk was the large amount of space we had cause I love space LOL jk I had lots of fun in bunk with you guys, I mean with 4th coy entertainment ICs in my bunk how could I not have fun? I don’t think I would’ve chosen to sleep with anyone else and I really love the chemistry we had in our bunk and the memories we’ve forged in bunk 😉

To Andrew: How long my dick? You are so retarded and funny I will never forget you. You’ve never been afraid to voice out your opinions since CSLC and so many funny things have happened because of whatever you’ve done or said like complaining to chief and shit LOL. You’re a really really good person, friend and brother and is someone I am really thankful for!

To Yizhong: The ACSM role fits you perfectly because other than Simon, no one else comes close to being able to kick ass and move the company as well as you do. You know how to put friendships aside during work for the better of the company which is something I’ll never be able to do. Love having you in bunk as well, back in CSLC I didn’t like you but after getting to know you I really love you man and I’m so thankful for having you around, CSM 😏

To Paxton: I remember during CSLC you were filling your bottle at the water cooler and I said hi to you cause you were Justin Thong’s friend heh. Who ever knew we’d end up as bunkmates. You’re the only other guy who I can relate to because we’re both trackers esp when it comes to sporting or training matters. Looking forward to a run or a chess session some time in the future!!! Really thankful for having gotten to know you! 😋

To Weishen: I only started talking to you in 4th coy even though I always saw you around during BMT cause you were Kenneth’s friend and during CSLC. But I always remembered your face because ->🙊🙉🙈. Glad we got sufficiently close cause you’re damn retarded and funny and damn fun to disturb. Thankful for our friendship!!

To Alden: Oh god, where do I start? We’ve been through almost everything since CSLC and I say almost because you ORD 3 months earlier than any of us. Back in CSLC you slept beside me in bunk and also slept beside me in Taiwan, during training coy you would squeeze with Tzelok and I on our beds, but why is it that even though we were in the same bunk after turning ops, whenever I turned to wanna see if you were at least sleeping near me, you never happen to be in bunk? Hais… Jokes aside, you’ve been my other buddy in CSLC and my buddy here in battalion and I’m just really glad to have gone through with you cause you’re damn bro and will do anything for me. I believe I’m the one who understands you the best at least in our detachment and I cannot express how thankful I am for you to have suffered together alongside me. Can’t thank you enough for being there for me from the start man and I hope we’ll continue staying in touch la sia Queenshesse parang paikiaaaaaaaa

To Tzelok: Oh man, my old school love. We have indeed come a long way. You always say you had to go find me back before CSLC started cause I didn’t know you were in the same unit as I was but that is a complete lie cause I did hear your name in BMT before but really didn’t see you before in BMT until the day you came to find Alden and rekindled our friendship. Our friendship dates all the way back to primary school man and is something that is extremely priceless. You’re my trust buddy, my football buddy, my kpop buddy, my sleeping buddy, my everything. Since training coy when we were separated by just the gaps between our beds till after we turned ops and were separated by that little table, you’ve always been there for me, by my side, no matter what. Being able to go through army with one of my bestest pals, even though we’ve never been in the same detachment whatsoever, is truly one of my best and most memorable takeaways for me and I will make sure we never lose contact again. Thank you for giving me this opportunity, it has been an honour 😊

8. To Det 4 (training coy) & Det 3 (after turn ops): Once again, I was never the strongest or fittest. Being a sgt I was supposed to be the one leading you guys yet many times you guys were the ones carrying me along the way. To you guys who were always there for me, concerned for my back injury and constantly pushing me along, I can never, ever be thankful enough for all of you. At a point of time I was really demoralised and disappointed with myself for being so useless and such a letdown to the det and wanted to go to signal platoon man but I am so, so glad I didn’t pursue that option. I would never choose to be in another det other than our det because each and every one of you are really the nicest people I have ever met and I am so glad to have gone through everything with you guys. I’m glad that you guys see me as a man (LOL) because I would never have wanted to be seen as you guys under me whatsoever but for us to all be equal instead. Every single shit we’ve been through, all the route marches, trainings, VOC, outfields, ARSF, ATEC and bilat have given me so many memories which I will never forget. At times I don’t seem to be a part of the det (sigh) but just know I appreciate having you guys go through everything with me! The blood of a covenant is thicker than the water of a womb. For you guys, my brothers, I’d be more than willing to walk another 72 or fight another atec for yall man.

To Ziming: Our first DC. You’re always getting stirred by our det and we initially didn’t like you, but no worries cause it’s all in the past. Really glad to have gone through training coy with you as our DC and see you grow from a noob infantry officer to a professional SF soldier. Thank you for leading us through training coy, sir!

To Charles Tim: Our second DC. You brought us such a horrible first impression cause you turned us out on the first meeting and I told myself I wasn’t gonna listen to you afterwards man. Thankfully I also told myself to give you a chance and I’m glad I did. You’re honestly one of the best, strongest and most reliable soldiers I’ve experienced working with in the sense that you will definitely be someone I’d pick to go to war with lolololol. Anyhow, I respect the way you work and admire how direct you can be which is something many people cannot achieve, myself included. Thank you for leading us through ATEC, sir!

To Yufei: My dear DS. I would never have wanted to be under any other DS other than you. I am so thankful for having my CSLC det mate as my DS because I knew how talented and capable you are and I had lots of faith in you. You’re one of the few that will go all out to fight for us and protect us and I really really admire that. You’ve changed so much from CSLC, the only time I remember seeing that shag face from CSLC in battalion was during stretcher PT in Brunei. You’re someone I really admire and I’m glad we got a lot closer from CSLC in battalion. Thank you for leading and guiding me, DS :)

To Zhijia: Our first det IC. Despite being really soft and quiet, you are able to handle criticism so, so well which is something about you I admire. Although you’re really blur at times, it’s really funny and a joy to watch you fumble. Thank you, for coming back once in awhile and being a friend indeed.😄

To Ron: Fuck you for leaving but thanks for the stationery indents bitchhhhhhhhhhhhh

To Aloy: The only other person from platoon 2 in our det other than chao ka Ron who left anyways. Also the only other person I knew cause we were same det in BMT other than Alden, Yufei and Tim. What can I say, honestly you’re like a big bro to us and a really good friend, but let’s admit you’re a bad soldier and should return that superman patch. Kidding. Well, thanks for sticking with me all the way since BMT and being the mature one almost all the time. Thankful to have your friendship laaaaaa.

To Wengs: TBH IMHO the wrongest decision ever made was to have sent you to SRT because you were undoubtedly one of the best, if not the best, soldier in our det in so many aspects- navigation, tanking load and being so positive are but few of the details I admire about you. You’re the only other guy who comes back regularly to visit us too other than Aloy and rightfully so cause we’ll always accept our finest soldier with open arms. Thank you for being one of the best bros around!!!! 😛

To Shao Chuan: Even though half the things that come out of your mouth are questions which have already been answered less than half a minute ago and you don’t really click very well with us, you are really one of the most selfless guys in our detachment and you’re really like super helpful and will always offer anyone who needs anything a hand. That’s what I find really valuable about you and I am so thankful for having you around in our detachment.

To Arvin: Really really glad you were able to join us man cause you’re one of the fittest and strongest of your batch!! Not only were you helpful, you were eager to learn and better yourself and in that short span of time integrated so well into our det!! Will never forget the night where we were walking during ATEC and encountered that villager man. Thank you for being with us!!!

To Tim: My VS senior and airborne stick mate!!! I was really really glad to know that we were in the same det man cause I really liked you from airborne! Another one of det 3′s tanks, you never fail to lend anyone a helping hand and is like another big bro to us especially outfield. You aren’t afraid to try new things and improvise man like when you did roping without any training HAHA. I’m so glad we have so much in common to talk about and really happy to have you around man thank you!!!!! 🤗

To Aaron: I abhorred you man because all that false accusations about you being sierra sierra I chose not to believe became real and all that about saying you paced wrong guy made it worse. But I’m glad you’ve changed and became better I guess. Will never forget when you pulled me out of the mud during swamp walk. Thank you for friendship.

To Yijun: Goodness me, you’re like the mother of det 3. You are without a doubt the most caring, nicest, reliable, selfless (the list goes on) person in det 3. When anyone has problems the first person they turn to is you. Same goes for me. I will never ever forget how you constantly motivated me and tanked so much when we were in Brunei and I loved walking just behind/ in front of you cause somehow you just made me feel so calm and you just somehow exude a very nice aura idk how to describe mannnnn LOL. Thank you, for having my back and taking care of me throughout the whole of battalion, bro.😄

To Xuhua: You and Yijun come in a pair. Both are so similar, except for hygiene levels :p I genuinely feel that you are the most mature in our det and are one of the most bro and selfless people in our detachment man like you’re always there to help us out, be there for us and have our backs. You are not only super smart, you’re so strong physically and mentally even though you’re the most half fk soldier ever. Nonetheless, you’re still a proud ATEC commander coin holder and rightfully so. Strong outfield, helpful in camp and such a bro to all of us, pretty sure Andrea hit the jackpot? ;) Thank you for being the big bro!!!

To Derrick: My yugioh buddy. Can’t believe I spent money on that shit to prove I was better than you which I rightfully am and we shall meet again during ICT man. Nonetheless, despite your health conditions and stuff, I am so thankful nothing serious happened because I was really worried when you had goat and thought you were goatna die (ha ha ha). Even though your hatred for guard duty outweighs your love for me, we both know I’m the better duelist. Thanks for always losing to me!

To Andrew: I guess you can call yourself my exercise buddy cause we go on runs once in awhile and I see you at the gym once in awhile too LOL because Jarryl goes for morning runs and gym sessions. Although you aren’t the most tactful person, you’re really inspiring and funny and like you can achieve anything you set out to do like beat edmund in weight loss or eat a lot to bulk which is something everyone admires. Not only that, you’re v helpful and bro esp outfield and when you were ARSF reserve you even came down to take the det equipment bag up for us ha ha ha. Thanks!!!!! 😜

To Edmund: Oh man, my kpop buddy. Can never ever forget all the karaoke sessions we’ve had. Or that vine cutter you threw which took years to find. Nevertheless, I can always count on you to lighten the mood and cheer us up cause you’re such a loudhailer second only to OC sir Irwin and whenever I wanted to know where you were I just had to concentrate on hearing which direction the noise was coming from. Jokes aside, you’re truly a disciplined soldier when it comes to clearing thrash but not when it comes to stealing jerry cans. You’re really solid and strong and fit bro, fucking tanker carry MG uphill. Will miss the times I was your MG Comm. Although we’ve argued before like about Charles Tim and all LOL, we just gotta cheer up baby like ooh ahh don’t TT and don’t pussy out fucking run away. Thank you for being a source of motivation!!

To Darren: Darry!!! I miss you a lot man but I guess you’ve also found the right and better company to be with which is good for you. We got real close through Felix and I’m so happy to have been in the same bunk as you, waking Jiunwei up when he was already sleeping at 1am and just to have gone through training coy with you. Everytime I looked at you I see you so shag and cat 1 then I had to tell myself to not be shag and to motivate you which in a way is motivating myself cause I told myself not to be shag and to motivate others so you get it. Love you Darry and thank you for being my bro <3

To Jiunwei: Captain. Leader. Legend. Like Xuhua and Yijun, you and Darren came as a pair during training coy but you proceeded to attache yourself to Kaiyang and became a 4-legged hybrid chimera after we turned ops which is disappointing. Like Darren, we got close quickly through Felix and cause we slept in the same bunk but also because you’re really cheerful, bubbly and friendly!!! Glad that football is one of our common topics and that you started panthers FC. Really hope we will all stay in touch and maybe play in a league in the future!!! Thanks, capt ;)

To Adam: So our dads saw each other’s dicks in guards sniper and we’ve seen each other’s in 1 CDO, remember the plot to have kids in the same year so they can see each other’s too in the future and so on. The legacy must go on. Anyhow, you’re another of my kpop buddies and will never fail to hit me up with a new kpop song or any piece of kpop related news. Thankful to have a bro around who I can share my problems with any talk about literally anything with man I will miss you!! P.s. Girls’ day > mamamoo 😂

To Gary: You are so lazy yet I don’t get how you’re so fit and so thin. Although you are lazy you never fail to help us when needed, especially outfield, you fucking tank, you’d take a matador all by yourself and just walk. TBH I’ve never heard you complain that you’re shag or whatever and you’re just like another Xuhua but without the sentimental/ caring side man LOLOLOL. Thanks Gary!!!😋

And even to Daryl: You need to change and not be so obstinate and stubborn. If you try and fail, keep trying. Honestly know there’s that nice guy inside of you despite the fact that everyone despises you. Stop posting silly quora stuff. Thanks for being banter :)

9. To Panthers FC: I’m so glad we created this ‘club’ man although we have lots of work in progress. Always enjoy playing with all of you and I hope we can all commit and play more in the future and keep in touch so that some time in the future we can be in a noob leisure league!!!

To Onn Mun: Never spoke much to you back in Raffles but I’m glad we got closer here in battalion. Always love the football banter and hearing football stories and analysis from you. Will never forget that rabona you attempted. Thanks for being my ESPN sports channel :D

To Nic tan: My right back and fellow pacewhore. Love those sick throw ins and perfect running form. You’re damn joke and funny and I love playing with you. Thanks for being such a banter and pal :)

To Taiker: Oh Mr guard. Mr center back. Love hate relationship. Love that you’re my friend and a trusty reliable center back but hate that you give guard duty HAHA ok kidding about the hate part cause I know it’s your job and tbh you’re the right man for the job man you’re really just and fair and flexible. Thanks for the bit of banter everytime we see each other and for scoring 2 goals the other day.

To Ethan: Mr midfielder. I see no signs of modesty because you call yourself lumpard but I guess what you produce on the pitch justifies that name. Will never forget always seeing you around coyline and you calling out Jarryl Michelle to me. Or sexualising my thighs. Love that you’re so good with words and equally a dick as you are a nice guy hahaha. Thanks for being a great pal!!! 😉

To Alex: The lion with a princess crown. Back then like training coy honestly thought you were some paikia or something but you really turned out to be a complete joke and one of my better friends here in 4th coy and I can always strike up a conversation with you. We got closer during NDP cause you were standing behind me and since then it’s just been banter about my thighs or your chest or me with the vertical leap or you being the best centre back and with the crucial tackles and commanding yong quan to fall back LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Either way, I’m extremely thankful to have gotten to know you as a friend!!

10. To my JC friends: Sujay, Vinay, Bhala, Nilu, Felix, Clem, Weiern, Ra, Ade, Humz- I’m so thankful for each and every one of your support during NS be it the meet ups and catch ups we had, sharing all the memes and stuff on our group or coming for our parades, without all of your support in one way or another, your motivations, encouragements and morale boosts, I can say that I would not have been able to get through army as smoothly. To each and every one of you, thank you so, so much!!

Special mention to Humz who was present at my POP, sent me off for Taiwan and at my ORD parade. You’ve always been there despite going missing every once in awhile but I still love you man.

Ade and Nilu for taking time off your busy schedules to send Felix and I off for Brunei!!

Vinay for coming down for red beret presentation and ORD parade. Actually fk it, you taking the effort to come down is nothing to fireman carrying you and being in contact with your barf. Will definitely give you free physio sessions in the future though for a glass of ice milo.

Tamara for coming down during POP, sending us for for Brunei, red beret presentation and ORD parade. Ur a swag friend.

To Felix: You’ve always been there for me since JC. You’ve provided me with so much care and you are really such a bro man. Whenever we would stop for small conversations, I never fail to leave with a smile knowing that you’re always there for me to talk to and hear about my day. We came into this together, survived and got out of this shit together. In the end, I’m just really glad nothing has changed and we’re still as close as before. Thank you for always being there for me and for your perpetual support throughout army bro!! Hyeri > Momo, Hani & Seolhyun 🤗

11. To my Jumps team: Estella, Brent, Bryan, Wenning, Justin, Reuben, Jayyin, the JC kids and Mr chan- training while still in national service was never an easy thing to do and would be even more so without all of your support.

To the JC kids: Thank you guys for tapping me in and out and for making me feel at home training with you guys. 😛

To Wenning: You never actually trained with me but since you’re in track and still keep in contact with me I’m just gonna list you here. You’ve definitely given me support in one way or another and encouraged me before. So thank you for that.😉

To Brent: For always replying me ORD lo and shit like that when I was still in the army and you were out of service, I endured it. SO LETS DO IT TO BRYAN NOW!!!!!!! Thanks for giving me army advice in one way or another somewhere along the way in my army journey. Pretty sure it helped :p

To my training partners: Estella, Bryan, Justin, Reuben and Jayyin, you guys always make training so fun even though it’s torture and hellish and I’m so happy I am able to enjoy doing something I like with the people I love. Besides being my training buddies and pushing and spurring me on in training, you guys (est, bry, jus) always encouraged and kept me motivated throughout the whole of army. Yall are always there for me and are certainly family. My journey wouldn’t have been possible if not for you guys who were always there for me. Thank you!!😘❤️

To my beloved coach Mr Chan: I am by no means talented, nor am I the strongest or fastest athlete. Yet, you never ever give up on me. The only thing I can be is the most hardworking athlete and I will keep working hard so that we can achieve success together in the future. I promise to not let your dedication go to waste. Hit me up with that 2 x endurance jumps, 300m and 2 x vertical jumps man ;) Thank you for being so dedicated!

12. To my senior Hanching and my juniors Ashwin and Mark: Hanching, you’ve always been there to help me out from VS track to RJ track to CDO man and without your pre army prep and advice I wouldn’t have been ready for army. Thank you for your advice and all the tips and help you’ve given me along the way. Ashwin and Mark, you guys have always encouraged me as I have for you guys as well. Being able to pass on whatever knowledge I have, albeit limited, to you guys is definitely a joy as you guys were able to assist me in keeping that army flame alive. Thank you guys so much for being such lovely juniors and for giving me the opportunity to share my experiences to!

13. To my VS friends: It’s always a joy being able to see familiar faces around, saying hi and stuff, and even more so when we’re able to keep in contact. Like Ashton and Bryan, who I always see in camp and have small conversations with. Little gestures like these are things I really appreciate.

To Sihan and Junlei: My primary school best friend and secondary school best friend, and now we are all best friends. I love this. I love the fact that we meet up once in awhile and banter and talk about army and whoever the fuck skyfall JJ is. Really happy that we are keeping in constant contact. Still waiting for that overseas trip. Also, to Sihan: Ord lo.

14. To My Bae Clan: My main and biggest source of comfort and motivation. Also happens to be the group of friends I get mad at the most often but you guys know it’s because I love you all. No matter how much I blabber about wanting to fuck off from you guys you know I can never do it. Nevertheless, you guys are always there to encourage and love me just like how I’m doing the same for you guys now. To Pat, Shu, Ro, Ash, Tang, even char at a point of time and Val at a point of time (I am so, so sorry for being so childish back in the past and I would like to offer my most sincere and genuine apology), you guys, have at some point of time in my army life, been my pillars of support and I would never, ever have gotten through army without all of you cheering me on and being in the fight with me. I am so thankful for each and every one of you and simply love all of you, for giving me strength in times of hardship. You guys are family. Thank you. Also, to Pat, Ash and Tang: Ord lo.

15. To My family: My dad, mum, brother, sister and grandmother: There can never be a more supportive family. Army really highlights the importance of family and has definitely made me closer to mine. I will never forget the times my dad would drive me to and fro white sands during BMT and CSLC, the after book out massages my parents would bring me to to ease my back aches, the drives to army market and helping me get all my army stuff, the times my dad would drive me to and fro hendon, the time when my dad drove to camp to pass me food even though it was raining really heavily, the times they would drive by to check on me and say hi when I was doing guard duty, the times they would send me off on my overseas trips and be there for my arrival even though it was really late, the meals they’d always cook to ensure I was full before I booked in and of course, the letters they wrote me during field camp and ATEC which I still hold dearly to my heart. Without all of your unwavering support, I would never have made you guys proud and been able to go through this journey. This isn’t my journey, it’s our journey. I love you all ❤️

Last but not least,

16. To Ming: Who started this journey with me, stayed by my side the whole of BMT, CSLC, Airborne, Training coy, ATEC and NDP, and was my pillar of emotional support and motivation during my 3 x overseas trips (of which I had to go through 2 without phones). Yet, sometimes things in life takes a U-turn but we have to be prepared for it. Nonetheless, you were a paramount part of my NS journey, without all your support and love to ease my time in the army and help me overcome it, I definitely wouldn’t have made it all the way either. For that I thank you, graciously, from the bottom of my heart.

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