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mummer · 10 months

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i dont remember the last time i stayed up too late to read a book in one sitting let alone in less than two hours so i guess i gotta talk about it. Anyway yeah th white literally unparalleled definitely. Like the book of merlyn is definitely a coda and not necessary— the ending of toafk is one of the greatest endings in literature ever, possibly one of the best things in art period — and it is basically animal farm but good (even if it does maintain Communism Stupid in sort of annoying ways lol, oh white you scamp) and it sort of reads like white is arguing with himself and gets too far into the philosophical weeds but it doesnt even matter because every line is like a joy to read and suprising and sad and genius and twee and perfect. weirdly the ant chapter (horrible) and the goose chapter (transcendent) from the sword in the stone are in here, i guess he moved them over to book 1 when he found out merlyn wouldnt be published so as to keep them? i actually think theyre better served in sword anyway but whatever. One of the really great things here is that arthur has this bit where he gets genuinely angry with merlyn for making him have to be the martyr and the king and in charge of making society good and he just wants more life he wants to live peaceful and quiet but he cannot he’ll die tomorrow. like ok robb stark lets gooo!!! very truly heartfelt movement there. uhhh what else. Metafiction, always good in toafk, just lightly dusted here but yeah love it thinking about how merlyn being from the future living backwards is such a wacky thing to do but is also the only perfect adaptational choice to ever have been made in history. I love king arthur so much and we even get to find out that when lancelot died he smelled pure like flowers like a saint does. thanks guys have a good night

#i also have one other philosophical bone to pick which i know is stupid but merlyn takes up this argument with the fetishizaion of human #progress where humans think the 20th century is the centre of history and all other times before it were worse etc etc #which i think is a fine point but i also think this book centres the 20th century as rhe centre of its universe because thats when merlyn #was born and it’s the latest he can remember. Which like you cant avoid obviously #and i know merlyn is meant to be a hypocrite so not all his anticimmunism is meant to be taken at face value but its so funny because #t.h. baby you did not need to go jnto that youre doing just fine as general anti war art you do not need to dig into specifics here #loved it devoured it stayed up an hour too late gonna kms tomorrow but its ok.

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felikatze · 1 year

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Ayin & Carmen (Lobotomy Corporation): How do I even begin. Carmen and Ayin ran a research lab to Cure Depression, Globally, Forever, and failed spectacularly. So now Carmen is a brain in a vat, Ayin mind-wiped himself out of grief, and the two of them get stuck in a super-hell of their own making until reaching Video Game Nirvana. That is, until Carmen, from Nirvana, decides to cause problems and start a cult (besides the first lab cult, that is)

Why I like these guys: IF YOU'VE FOLLOWED ME LONG ENOUGH YOU DAMN WELL KNOW. I'VE WRITTEN A 2K ESSAY ON AYIN. I GOT INTO SO MUCH CARMEN DISCOURSE. DO I NEED TO FUCKING TELL YOU HOW DERANGED THEY MAKE ME

Ces & Sel (Vindicaris): Ces & Sel are Periodica, artificial beings named after the periodic elements they embody. Left for dead by the company that created them, these two want REVENGE! It's time to take down the government, babey! Only, Ces is more gung-ho about it all than Sel... Sel's starting to have doubts, amd Ces is keeping a few too many secrets.

Why I like these guys: They're just cool. They are. Sel lost an arm so now she has a GLOWY SUPER ARM. Ces has the mask and fucked up face thing I love. HOWEVER! I also love their moral dilemmas, their mildly codependant fuckshit, the oscilating tension between them, the (lack of) trust, the everything, the killing people together! Once Ces's jig is up Sel is not going to kill them because Sel is getting less and less cool with murder. But it will nonetheless be GLORIOUS.

#Feli speaks #Feli's blorbo brawl #sorry for putting you two against AC when AC have had SUCH a chokehold on me #but SOMEONE has to bite the bullet #i actually reread vindicaris today bcuz of this matchup #MAN ces is more horrible than i remember and i love them all the more for it #it's so funny seeing comments when ces explodes arbo again going 'is ces the bad guy?'#always has been my friend. they are a serial killer.#epic win #carmen gets an obscured face sprite cuz i was. too lazy to dig for her ruina sprite instead.

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starbuck · 2 years

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honestly very sexy of my genetics to give me my mom’s chin with my dad’s jawline… love this for me

#it’s fucking IDEAL - i’m so pleased #i never would have noticed this except that i’m going through a bunch of old pictures to print for my Pop-pop’s service over the weekend #so i’m suddenly noticing all these genetic quirks i never had before #my mom-mom and pop-pop both had very high jawlines and pointy chins which my mom inherited #while my grandpa has the squarest face EVER which my dad inherited #so i wound up with a square-ish jawline AND pointy chin!!!!! i won!!!!!!!!#not that those things don’t also look good in isolation but i really dig the combo is all i’m saying!!#also i got my dad’s eyes which like. no offense to my mom but thank GOD.#i do appreciate how she got hers from my mom-mom who got them from her dad - i respect that #i just like mine better #i also have better eyebrows than either of my parents so i have no idea how i pulled that one off!#but i’m pleased with that too!#my nose is some bizarre amalgamation i think… i don’t think it looks like anybody’s #my dad had the weirdest most fucked up nose EVER and i’m honestly kind of offended that i didn’t inherit it #but at least mine is a decent size… even the lady who took my wisdom teeth out commented on that #she couldn’t get the mask thing over it 😂😂😂😂#it was really funny #but ANYWAYS - back to the pictures!

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flame-cat · 2 years

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ive come to realize that a majority of my ideas start with "wouldnt it be hilarious if-" followed by several months of me taking that funny idea very seriously

#in the life #like. 'haha funnie guy does dumb things"#but then i actually think very deeply about it and it gets sad #i think all the best things are like that #like its funny and jokey at times but you can still dig in there and find the sincerity #take it too seriously all the time you end up being preachy #take it at face value too much you end up being mean #comedy and tragedy yadda yadda

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kaijutegu · 3 months

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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

youtube

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.

#reptiblr #alligator #crocodile #Youtube

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snekdood · 7 months

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i really try to understand why my fellow progressives are so avoidant of actually introspecting on why they think its still cool to bully. im sorry but thats just an inherently conservative thing to want to do.

#ive had to actually introspect about it. i was never really a bully fr but i did. like everyone else. have judgemental thoughts about ppl #still. and i really had to ask myself. why does it matter that EYE judge this person? 1. im holding my own opinion of this other random #person i probably dont know as being the most important opinion when its like. who tf am i. 2. wtf did this person MORALLY do wrong #to deserve me internally insulting them for how they look or dress or whatever. and even if its someone whos a conservative.#how does me judging that person make the entire situation better at all? it really only just. makes me feel better about the lack of #power i have over that person to not be a dipshit. thats really it #insulting them isnt going to change their mind and LIKE IVE SAID A MILLION TIMES will ONLY make them dig their heels in more #im not saying go up to your local rwinger and give them a hug and validate them or whatever tf. thats not your job. all im asking is simply #shut your brain the entire fuck up when it wants to judge someone for something that they cant control or is morally neutral #charlie kirk having a small face is morally neutral. his politics? not so much! attack that. at least.#(not that the memes aren't funny- but we cant fool ourselves into thinking bullying him is gonna change him or his fans)#i just wanna know why you think your opinion on how someone looks or dresses or whatever is that important is all #the best motto anyone can adopt really is 'MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS' ffs #your opinion on their appearance really doesnt matter like at all! instead of feeling the urge to have an opinion on the way they look #simply let some things ~be~. have 0 opinion about how they look or if theyre weird and awkward. focus on the shit that ACTUALLY matters #you dont always have to sort things in boxes of 'good' and 'bad'. some things can just exist without you labeling them.#and also why do you NEED to label everything and who are you and why do you think your label is important enough to vocalize?#anyways.#and im not gonna act like ive been perfect about this but this is work that we're always gonna hafta do so long as we live in a #susciety that places value on other people and labels them on whether or not theyre good enough for whatever thing #competition outside of friendly sportsball will always be bad change my mind #if the sportsball gets to be unfriendly and too intense to the point that you hate someone you need to fuckin chill and leave the event #lmao. like you've gotta go and take a shower and think for a bit instead of continuing to funnel your rage into ppl who dont deserve it :|#i wanna be clear tho i dont think theres anything morally wrong w making fun of charlie kirk for how he looks. just recognize the reason ur #doing it. bc ur not doing it bc ur someone crusading against misinfo or whatever ur doing it bc u dont know how to convince #him to stop and are throwing spaghetti at the wall

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thesherrinfordfacility · 8 months

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thing is - and hear me out - if s3 does by any minute chance incorporate any suggestion of a sex scene, it is imperative for me that they commit to the bit. i need crowley to nearly topple over trying to get out of his jeans, i need aziraphale to complain that they cant do anything downstairs because that would be scandalous, and i need them to trip over going up the stairs because they keep getting distracted. i need one of them to accidentally get an elbow to the face, i need them to have a long forgotten book digging into one of their backs, and aziraphale is horrified when crowley launches it across the room, and i need there to be hard cut to whickber street having a huge power surge, lines sparking, all the power going out, and every car alarm in a 2-mile radius start screaming, i don't need it to be explicit or overly romantic but i do need it to be fucking funny

#will a sex scene happen? eh idk #if it does do i need it to be hysterical and imply that london and wider uk infrastructure goes into meltdown? absolutely #good omens

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lauransoverthinking · 10 months

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You didn’t ask a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old if they wanted to catch fireflies.

You invited them to commit firefly murder.

You didn’t show them a firefly you caught.

You provided them their next victim.

#nothing will ever be as funny as watching the teenage cousins learn about small children #this is not a dig on the teenagers- we all didn’t know about children at one point #but the face of the 16yo as she learned the fun activity she suggested was just a bug horror show was kind of hilarious #i had to teach her how to catch the bugs and show them off then making sure they flew away safely #small children #family reunion

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ssahotchnerr · 7 months

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no but imagine pre-relationship aaron with fem!reader who can fall asleep anywhere & in the most uncomfortable positions known to mankind 💀 aaron is both terrified and amazed bcs how do you keep doing that 😧 but then every time he sees you like that he slowly & carefully arranges you in a more comfortable position 🥹🫶🏻 & the team gives him shit for it 💀

(luvie can I be 🪷 anon 🥹🫶🏻)

makeshift

omg stop i love that cw; fem!reader, bau family banter, pining aaron <333

falling asleep in a federal prison, may seem like a hard thing to do. surrounded by the worst of the worst, distant yells from the inmates floating down the hall, the mere location itself. but apparently, not for you.

the facility was currently on lockdown, meaning no one was going in or out, and therefore you were stuck overnight. as a result, the warden offered one of the locker rooms to be strictly the bau's 'break room', so to speak.

after his last, rather unpleasant interview of the evening, aaron was hellbent on a fresh, but not very good, cup of coffee. as he pushed the door open and entered, his focus diverted straight to you.

you were laid across a steel bench - eyes closed, hands clasped over your stomach, absolutely gone to the world. however, if you moved an inch - or probably less - would you completely topple onto the hard floor.

"you're kidding." aaron deadpanned as he looked at you in pure astonishment, coffee long forgotten.

"she's been like that for thirty minutes now." jj commented from where she was leant against one of the sets of lockers, head bent down as she scrolled through her phone. "but are we surprised?"

"nah," derek snorted lightly. "but hey, better than the floor."

"tell me about it." a low grumble came from reid, somewhere.

aaron's face pulled into one of discomfort, his brows drawing into a line above his eyes. the surface you were asleep on, had to be cold, for starters, by nature of the material and the a/c was still kicking in high gear despite the cooler temperature outside. the flat metal had to be highly uncomfortable, no cushion underneath you at all, most likely digging into your shoulder blades. you'd inevitably be waking up to an angry back, which aaron knew from experience - from past events where you miraculously drifted off in questionable positions.

eager to lessen the outcome, aaron shrugged his suit jacket off his shoulders. he balled it up, situating it snug under his arm.

next, he crouched beside you, cradling your head in his hand as he lifted it gently. at the movement, you stirred, a small noise escaping you and aaron froze, waiting for you to settle back down before resuming his actions. part of him feared his current, drumming heart would somehow rouse you more.

but once you had, he slid his jacket underneath your head - a makeshift pillow. it wasn't much, but it would at least alleviate some of the pressure collecting in your neck, and you wouldn't be as sore when you awoke. the next thing he had to figure out, something to lay on the ground, on either side of you, to soften the fall in case you were to-

"that's real cute hotch." derek grinned, grabbing aaron from his thoughts. "when you make up my bed next, can you add one of those pillow chocolates? thanks."

"funny."

aaron stole a glance at you, a calmness brushing over him and the ends of his lips daring to tug upwards into a smile. he couldn't help himself - sure, he wished you weren't fast asleep on a bench that could cause potential harm if you budged, but it didn't hide the fact that you were, well, you.

his hopeful, hidden attempt didn't go unnoticed by one person though, who naturally had to open their big mouth.

"that's nothing compared to that case in montana," aaron shot dave a pointed look to quit it, but only got a wink in return. "hotch practically carried-"

"dave."

"aaron." dave quipped back, an eyebrow quirked high in amusement, but fell silent. although, his witty expression didn't falter, as if he were noting to aaron that it wouldn't be difficult at all to be persuaded to continue.

"whoa whoa there, rossi," morgan straightened his posture, a hand out. "go on."

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x fem!reader #criminal minds drabble #aaron hotchner drabble #criminal minds fanfiction #hotch imagine #criminal minds x you #🪷anon

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