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penvisions · 10 months

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for the record {a joel miller oneshot}

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader, brief F!Reader x F!OC

Summary: The longer, more dangerous patrol routes around Jackson are designated to you and one Joel Miller. You both have an understanding with each other, talking wasn’t the biggest concern for either of you, but being confident in each other was. He wasn’t a bad friend in your scavenged life, but then again you were beginning to think you didn’t want to be just his friend...and that’s got you more than a little sexually frustrated.

Word Count: 6.3k (idk what happened, y’all)

Warnings: oh lord, okay: implied f/f attraction, implied f/f smut, use of sex toys, masturbation, language, pet names, p in v smut, sexual frustration, pining, mutual pining, reader is a hot mess, no use of y/n

A/N: okay, so this took a wildly different route than i anticipated? but i kinda like the way it turned out. I’m sure some scenes seem disconnected or the characterization doesn’t flow throughout but i got tired of reading and re-reading the entire thing and said ‘eh, it’s as good as it’ll get’. please let me know what y’all think?

Your hands released the hold they had on the lapels of his shirt, moving lower to rip open the snap buttons on his shirt to expose the top of his chest. He didn’t give you the chance to explore as he took your hands in his own and guided them to feel the hard length of him through his jeans. “This what you wanted, what had you so goddamn irritable all those weeks before?” He taunted in your ear, his warm breath on the side of your neck sending shivers down your spine. He twitched underneath your hands, and you felt your underwear dampen even more.

ao3 link || main masterlist

“Ngh, it’s not working.” You whined pathetically, your body shaking on the bed. You were on your knees, face down on your pillows and turned to the side as your hands reached back to hold a pulsing toy to your center. The tingles you were feeling were almost what you wanted but they were weak, not building just fleeting jolts of pleasure teasing you. You felt like a fool with your ass canted in the air, knees spread to give you easier access to your folds, the toy gripped too tight in your hand. With a huff you let yourself crumple to the bed, the sheets making weird lumps underneath your form where it was bunched up from your fidgeting.

Your morning was not going the way you wanted at all…

“Would you shut up.” You couldn’t help the sharpness of your voice. You were so frustrated, everything getting on your nerves. Joel hadn’t meant to push you buttons but he just was. He was a decent friend, though he could be a better one to some people, to his family. He looked up from where he was tethering his horse to the post outside the barn. His gruff, no nonsense attitude getting on your nerves all throughout the day despite normally being able to work with the man. His offhand remark about needing to get home soon and the way he nearly rushed ahead of you with his horse finally being the last straw. As if he was the only one who had shit to do with the rest of his day.

He looked up from the worn leather in his hands to see you tying off your own horse before going over to the woman who watched over the horses with measured steps. He wasn’t sure what he said to illicit such words from you but he didn’t let them get to him, he could ignore you just as you had ignored him most of the day. It was a mutual clashing of gruff nature that happened from time to time.

The woman was listening to you talk about how you were worried about Peaches having stumbled over some rocks in the river you passed over on your patrol, suddenly nice and friendly after being surly and quiet the entire route. The woman was watching the way you brushed your hand over the neck of the horse, running your fingers through the mane to work out the tangles.

Joel took in the way your hands lingered over hers when she offered you a brush to work the bigger knots out. The bloom of color on the woman’s face had him looking to your face where a small, knowing smile had graced your lips. You leaned closer to her, bringing her had with the brush to where your other one was tangled in the horses mane, “There’s some tension right about….here.”

Joel was mesmerized by the way you were interacting with her, he had never seen you so forward. The flustered giggle from the woman who had your attention that sounded in the air was a good enough sign to shove off. The heat in your eyes another as he glanced at you one last time was another. He was struck by the way his mind supplied the word beautiful as he took in the way you filled out your tight jeans and simple white tank top, allowing for your tan to be seen by anyone around. Your hair was mused from beneath that damn wide brimmed hat you wore to keep the sun out of your face on patrol, the deep green of it looking good paired with your long curls pulled into a braid.

He walked off, trying not to let his gaze rove over you in a way that could be described as lingering.

A few hours later, after his shower and a small nap, as he sat on his porch with a cup of coffee. He was enjoying the quiet of the waning day, the sun beginning its descent toward the horizon when your front door opened just a few yards away. The woman from the stables lingered on the porch, her hands in her pockets as she spoke in a hushed tone. You were barely visible from his vantage, though he could see an arm leaning against the frame of the door and your long locks loose as you nodded before saying something that had the other girl blushing bright red before leaving. Once she was down the street and out of view you moved to sit in one of the chairs you had out on the porch.

You ran your hands roughly down your face, a deep sigh falling from your lips. You knew you should go back inside and put proper clothes on if you were going to be out here, anyone could walk by and see you in your sleep shorts and the bralette you had worn underneath your tank top earlier. Bruises from the day littered your skin, two newer ones blossomed red on your collarbone: a telltale sign of how you spent your afternoon.

You had managed to make sure one of you had a good time, the girl too inexperienced to return the favor. But she had been such a pretty little mess begging for your touch that it hadn’t been a complete failure. The pleasure from spending a few hours in bed with the woman simmered just beneath your skin, the breeze sweeping through the valley Jackson resided in bringing goosebumps out on your limbs.

You felt eyes on your form, and you turned to look at the house to your left, the one on the right had yet to be assigned to anyone. And of course, it was Joel Miller out on his porch, staring right at you. His hair was tousled from sleep, a lax air about him as he seemed to still be getting his bearings after his slumber.

He was in a t-shirt and sweatpants, the shirt trying its best to contain his arms as he cradled a steaming mug in his large hands. Not breaking eye contact, he brought the mug up to take a sip, his lips curling over the porcelain and catching your eye. You watched the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he lowered the mug to rest on a knee, his tongue peaking out to catch an errant drop of whatever he was drinking.

Before you could even register it, you were up out of your chair and making your way down the three steps to your porch. A bare foot had just stepped into the grass when the small figure of Ellie popped through the front door, a holler about dinner being ready loud from her as she brandished a wooden spoon at Joel. He tore his eyes from you, all his attention focused on his daughter as he stood.

Your eyes watched as he did so, the sweatpants doing either the devil or god’s work you weren’t sure. The thick fabric made his figure look broad, his thighs strong as he stood, the waistband was low on his hips. But it was the unmistakable bulge you had seen as he stood up that had made your mouth go dry and your skin buzz. With an embarrassed huff you turned on your heel and ran back into the safety of your house.

You could not believe you had just been about to jump Joel Miller. The man had been minding his own business on his own porch. In broad daylight. You needed to handle this, it was getting out of hand.

“Do you mind giving Joel a hand today? He needs-“ Tommy approached your spot in the dining hall, mug of steaming coffee in his hand and a loaded plate that he placed beside you.

“I do.” You cut off the chipper looking younger Miller man, not meaning to sound so mean towards him.

“Uh, well, I can’t help him today and-“

“Tommy, I can’t work with him today. You had me with him on patrol yesterday.”

“Did y’all get into a fight or somethin’? You’re normally so willing to help around where it’s needed and you two get along better than most.” He set down the fork he was using to eat with beside his plate before giving you his full, concerned attention. It was breakfast time in the dining hall, you had just walked in to get a couple fruits before disappearing for the day but had decided to sit at the absence of a particular older man.

“Just need the day to myself.”

“….everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’ve just been…a little short with everyone lately.”

“Everything’s fine.” You stood abruptly as you spied a broad figure making its way to you and Tommy, not even thinking about how you hadn’t even touched your own plate yet. You scrambled over the bench seat and took off out the door before Joel even set his plate down on the other side of the table.

“Well, alright then.” He huffed as he settled in for his meal.

“What’d you do?”

“What the hell are you goin’ on about? I didn’t do a damn thing to that woman.”

Tommy watched his brother over his mug, bringing it up to take a sip from it. He watched the way Joel turned to watch your form disappear through the front door. Brows furrowed and a frown settling in place.

“She didn’t even let me finish asking her to help you out today before she was sayin’ no and then she saw you comin’ this way and took off. Something happen on patrol?”

“She was huffin’ and puffin’ all day but seemed fine once we were back in town. Chatted up the girl at the stables just fine.”

Tommy took a bite of his food, pensive. Joel stabbed his fork into his own food, it was way too early in the day to be dealing with whatever was going on you.

Neither brother saw you for a few days. You had traded the rest of the week’s patrols you’d been assigned in exchange for the coffee you hoarded in your cabinet. People willing to make the trade even if you didn’t give them reason as to why. You had holed up in your room, taken root in your bed and just wallowed. You were fully aware of how pathetic the whole situation was. But you couldn’t face Joel or the nice girl, Stella, from the stables.

The patrol this morning was early, early enough to avoid one of the people you were avoiding. Unfortunately, the trek to Teton village was one that select people were allotted. It was an overnight one, the longest and one of the most dangerous. You and Joel being the only people without time restrictions due to other responsibilities around the town. You were just finishing up saddling up the two horses and led them outside as Joel approached. As he made his way down the street, you mounted up, ready to get the day started. If he was surprised to see you or that you had done up his horse for him, he didn’t show it as he took the reigns you held out to him.

He nodded at you, his fingers brushing up against your own as he did so. You pulled your hand back as if you had been burned and clicked to get your horse moving.

“Hey, just wanted to check in with ya,” Joel looked over his shoulder toward you, your horse was trailing behind his. The morning was quiet, the sun had risen completely and the forest was quiet. “Normally you’ve gone on about somethin’ or other by now but you’ve been sulking. Somethin’ wrong?”

“Just don’t feel good.” Was your gruff answer, unwilling to entertain conversation. You didn’t know why he was so concerned, somedays it was just like this. Either he had too much on his mind or you did and there was an understanding about it. You didn’t expect him to direct his horse to stop, making you do the same. He turned a bit more to face you in his saddle, brows furrowed in worry. His big brown eyes held a little too much emotion as he gazed at you. Your body deciding to take whatever it could from him, and you felt yourself get slick at his attention.

“You can tell me what it is, maybe I can-“

“It’s girl stuff, leave me alone.” You clicked to signal your horse into movement, going around him and continuing on your way. You shifted in the saddle, the friction of the seam of your jeans making you feel a little crazed and you tried to adjust.

The rest of the ride up to the cabin had been going okay… until a group of four raiders has decided to ambush you and Joel. It had been a quiet moment, just trekking through the woods when a shot rang out and your horse began bucking. You had tried to keep balance, but the creature was hurt and panicked. When you had tried to climb down you had been tossed a bit. You hadn’t been off the horse for a second before two men had come out from the trees and grabbed you, two more going for Joel on his horse. You had tried not to scream, but you were positive terror had taken over you as their hands had gripped you in places they had no business touching under the guise of retraining you.

He had killed every one of them, in such a quick and efficient way. His chest had been heaving with his actions, arms roped in veins where you could see the skin of his forearms, his hands clutched tight over the handle of a blade and a gun. His hair had gotten wild, waves that would surely turn into curls if it were longer in disarray from someone trying to choke him out. There was blood splatter along his neck and up on his cheek and you practically flinched when he placed the weapons back where they belonged on his person and leaned down a bit to reach a hand to you.

“Don’t- don’t touch me.” You stuttered as you backed up, palms up to keep him at bay. You were past anger and frustration, it was only ever going to get you so far. You were feeling desperation crawl like ice through your veins. The only thing that would bring warmth back to you was his touch, but it would light a fire in you that you weren’t sure you were strong enough to fight off.

“What are you goin’ on about? You afraid of me now?” He stayed where he was but brought his hand back to rest on his hip. “You seen me in action before.”

Maybe it was the way his eyes were dark in the shade of the tree canopy or the thrill of having taken out a threat. Maybe it was the way he always looked so goddamn good up on a horse, his thick thighs looking strong and sturdy as he guided the animal across the terrain. Maybe it was the way he was standing, one leg slightly popped out, hands on his hips and head canted down to gaze at you, an eyebrow raised in a slightly teasing manner.

Maybe it was the way you were on the ground, hands holding you up as your legs were spread out before you from your fall. Chest pushed out slightly from your shoulders holding you up, heaving as you tried to catch your breath. You felt desire hot in your entire body as you stared up at his broad form, his shadow falling over you. You licked your lips and were about to tell him off again but something flared in his eyes and-

“I’m not afraid of you, I wanna fuck you!” The words rushed out of your mouth before you could even think.

Joel didn’t say anything, he just continued to stare at you. You were sure your face was flushed a deep crimson; it was certainly burning enough to be. Your skin was alight, your entire body humming as the words had crawled their way from where they had dug themselves deep in your middle, had been consuming you from the inside out. They had been fleeting before but decided to make you their new home and filled every nook and cranny of your body, not giving you a moment of rest since they had solidified. You don’t know how long they had been forming but you didn’t really want to find out how long they had been whispering over your skin, your mind.

When he finally moved, you flinched. Even though he walked away from you and mounted his horse, your body pressed further into the dirt. He didn’t so much as glance at you as he guided his horse back the way you had just come, abandoning the rest of the patrol as he headed back toward town.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Tommy’s voice was booming as the man descended from where he had been keeping watch atop the gate as you entered through back into the safety of town. “I’ve been waiting for you all fuckin’ day since my dumbass brother got back! He made it seem like the raiders got you.”

You were quiet, gently walking beside the injured horse and guiding it back to the stables. You felt completely rejected. You had been left on the fucking ground after being ambushed. Injured in more ways that just physical, you ignored the frantic panic of the man following after you, demanding answers from you. And you knew it was petty, you knew it was unprofessional, but you couldn’t help it. You were shutting down, back to how you had been when you first arrived. It was better to be alone. You’d learned your lesson.

“Are you gonna answer me? You both broke protocol and scared the shit out of everyone! Please just say something, anything!”

“Finished patrol. Ran into raiders two miles from the cabin. Your brother got injured and turned back. I cleared the cabin, there were a few infected. Took longer traveling because Peaches is injured. I’ll fill out a report.”

“He said you got thrown off your horse and they dragged you away. Said he tried everything but had to come back.”

“If that’s what he said happened, then that’s what happened.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Your brother is a piece of fucking work, do not put me with him again. So help me, I’ll pack up and leave if you make me work with him in any capacity from here on out.”

You could tell your harsh words stunned him; he had stopped in his efforts to follow your gaited movements. You continued on to the stables. You explained in clipped words to Stella what had happened to Peaches, ignoring the way her eyes were lingering on you and her hands kept brushing against your own.

You stalked away from the interaction, legs heavy and your entire back hurting from where you had landed after your sudden dismount. You could tell your whole left side was already bruised, scrapes having bled into the fabric of your flannel and stained it for anyone to see. You pulled your hat lower over your brow when you spotted an all too familiar figure on the porch of the house next to yours.

You felt a heavy gaze follow you as you passed the house and made it up the short walkway to your porch. Your foot faltered as you picked it up to ascend the few steps leading up to your own porch and front door. Your foot didn’t land, the front of your boot collided with the step and your body fell forward.

You couldn’t help the pained yelp that pushed itself from your throat as your back pulled from the effort to throw your hands out to catch yourself.

You don’t know how he managed to close the distance so quickly or why, but Joel was suddenly hovering over you, hands helping to hold you up. His fingers were spread wide to not put too much pressure on any one spot, he had seen the blood and dirt marring you the second the commotion had stopped earlier on the trail.

“Leave me alone.” You pushed his hands from you, ignoring the way they sparked electricity on your skin over where they rested on your shirt. You stood back up, leaning heavily on the railing and practically pulled yourself up the steps.

“Look-“

“I said leave me alone. You made it clear how you feel when you left me on the fucking trail.” You moved as fast as your body would allow you up the steps and through the front door. You slammed it in the pinched face of one Joel Miller without a second thought. You leaned back on it, chest heaving as you realized tears had sprung up once again. A sob wracked your body and you brought your hands up to cover your mouth as more followed.

You didn’t just want him to fuck you. You wanted him.

You were put on different patrol rotations, Tommy taking the longer and more difficult routes you had fallen into with his older brother again. You were paired with younger people, those who were new to patrol, or had less experience and needed to be with someone who could make better decisions. It was easy to go into training mode and give them the run down, tell them the way things need to be done and why. It didn’t give you time or energy to think about anything else. That happened when you were safely back at home in the confines of your room.

Stella, bless her heart, still lingered when it came to you, her smiles quick and her voice chipper. But you just returned her attention with polite smiles and tips of your hat. It was late, the sun dipping down below the horizon as you closed off Peaches pen, who had made a full recovery from a few weeks ago.

While a sigh, you directed your route toward the center of town. You hadn’t been out in weeks, opting to keep to yourself if you weren’t on patrol. The help you had been lending to the Miller brothers and their building had ceased. Neither of them had confronted you, Maria had dropped by a few times to check on you. You had been cordial, offering her coffee it was the morning or dinner if it was the evening. She seemed content to just share the space with you, taking what you could give even if you were quiet or only made small talk concerning those you were training.

A drink sounded nice tonight, maybe a meal you hadn’t made yourself.

An hour later you were pleasantly tipsy and dancing in the arms of one of the younger patrolmen. He had nervously asked if you could teach him some steps to impress the girl he had his eye on and the alcohol in your system had you saying yes before you could think better of it.

A few songs later and you were pulling Stella from where she was at a table with her friends up into your arms and guiding her through some faster steps. She was all giddy laughter, bright smiles, and wandering hands. You leaned in close and murmured apologies to her and asked if she was okay with just being friends, genuinely apologetic for how you had been treating her. With a parting kiss to her cheek, you set her back with her friends and took off toward the door.

You settled on the bench that was a little ways from the door and pulled a rolled cigarette from where it was tucked into the ribbon that wound around the base of your hat. You lit it and took a long drag, unaware of the door opening behind you. You were so lost in thought that you nearly jumped out of your skin when someone plopped down beside you, their knee knocking into your own.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Nah, just me. But you’d think I’d be the devil with the way you been ignoring me”

No. No no no. Not that voice, that deliciously low southern drawl. The cigarette fell from between your fingers, landing on your thigh to burn a hole through the denim and smart your skin.

“Fuck!” You scrambled up, brushing frantically at the singed fabric to get the heat out. The liquor decided at that precise moment to take you over from pleasantly tipsy to uncoordinated tipsy and you stumbled over your feet. You landed hard on your ass, hat falling to the dirt beside you. When you looked up, Joel Miller was staring at you with an amused smile. It was a soft look on him, his eyes glittering in the lights hung up around the square as he looked down from where he remained on the bench.

Embarrassment flared hot over your face, the scene too close to the last time you had really interacted with the man. But this time he wasn’t borderline glaring at you. He was casual, relaxed, surely he was tipsy too. To be interacting with you, to be so easy going with you. You hadn’t seen him in weeks, if he hadn’t been tucking tail to run at the sight of you, you were doing so when you noticed him.

“I’ll walk you home, was callin’ it a night anyway.” He seemed to temper for a moment, brow furrowing as he contemplated his next words. “My entertainment for the night decided it was time for the show to end.”

Your waning flush darkened again, at the insinuation that he had been watching you dance the whole night. You don’t know what compelled you to take his hand when he offered it to you this time, as he stood from the bench and leaned over your still fallen form.

Maybe it was the way he was trying, the way he was talking as if nothing had happened, that you hadn’t totally ruined the tolerance boarding on friendly acquaintance you both had found in each other since day one. Maybe it was the way he picked up your hat and placed it gently back on your head, because he knew how important it was to you. Or the way that his hand was so warm as it clasped over your own.

Maybe it was the way that this is how things went with you, someone did something stupid or fucked up in the heat of the moment and it wasn’t talked about after some time and things went back to being okay.

Maybe it was in the way it seemed he almost missed you, or the way that you certainly had missed him.

“Stubborn girl, let me help you.” His voice had turned husky as he closed you in between his broad chest and the door. His warm hands came up and wrapped around your trembling ones, taking the keys from you with ease. He leaned forward a bit more, his hips connecting with your backside as he unlocked the door. He didn’t turn the knob or go to push it open, just breathing in the scent of honey and vanilla that mingled with the twang of whiskey on your skin.

“It didn’t bother me, what you said.” He seemed hesitant to bring the event of all those weeks ago from the middle of summer to the present. It wasn’t how either of you dealt with things, opting to push things deep down and ignore them until they didn’t really matter in the face of everyday issues. His hands were clenching in a pattern at his sides, his tick for when he was nervous. “For the record.”

“Figured you didn’t want me around because it did bother you, that way you didn’t have to deal with me anymore. You made it clear you don’t feel any way about me.”

“Is that why you been ignorin’ me?” Joel’s smoldering gaze watched as you lifted the hat to rest on a hook by the door, there was something behind his eyes you couldn’t quit make out when you turned back around to face him. “Because that’s not the case and you know it. You’re one of the only people in this town that doesn’t make me feel pushed or pressured to be anything. You let me just be me, even if I’m not the best a lot of the time.”

“Leave me alone,” The same last words you had spit at him all those weeks ago fell from your lips again unbidden. You weren’t even sure if you meant them anymore. But if you repeated them, maybe he would realize you meant the opposite. You didn’t intend for your voice to lilt the way that it did but of course he caught onto it. The way you didn’t deny anything he just confessed to you. It made him feel a little brave, it made him take a step closer to you. You mirrored his movement, your body crowding the back of the couch.

“You weren’t the only one with who was frustrated, darlin’. Had to see you take that poor girl to bed only to get nothin’ out of it.”

A weird whine sounded from you as his words brought the frustration of not being to find release for weeks now back to the forefront of your mind. Your skin buzzing with the intention behind his words.

Maybe it was the liquor in his system or the liquor in yours, but the room became charged almost as if a switch had been flipped now that you both understood the other. Your eyes dilated at the move he had taken toward you, your tongue darting out to wet your bottom lip. He took another step and felt himself harden completely in his jeans as his nerves lit up. You weren’t really telling him to leave, and he really wanted to find out what you tasted like after all this time.

“Well would you look at that, you went from all riled up to whinin’ in two seconds flat.”

“Shu-shut up!”

“Oh darlin’, you’re all bark and no bite right now.” To emphasize his point he leaned over you and placed his hands atop the back of the couch, caging your body between him and the piece of furniture. You didn’t move an inch, every muscle in your body locked up as the heat of him standing so close. The smell of him so close. Your heart hammered in your chest, and you were sure he could hear it in the quiet of your living room if the soft grin on his face was any indication.

Your eyes were trained on his own, the taunting glint you saw had you moving before you even realized.

Your hands shot out to grip the lapels of his damned, snug denim shirt and you pulled him down enough to sink your teeth underneath his jawline. He let out a guttural moan as his hands flew to grip the flare of your hips tight, body pressing into yours and pinning you to the back of the couch from the waist down. You soothed the bite with the flat of your tongue before moving sucking kisses down the column of his throat. Your hands released the hold they had on the lapels of his shirt, moving lower to rip open the snap buttons on his shirt to expose the top of his chest.

He didn’t give you the chance to explore as he took your hands in his own and guided them to feel the hard length of him through his jeans.

“This what you wanted, what had you so goddamn irritable all those weeks before?” He taunted in your ear, his warm breath on the side of your neck sending shivers down your spine. He twitched underneath your hands, and you felt your underwear dampen even more.

You could only nod as you captured his lips with your own in a desperate, open-mouthed kiss. His tongue tasted of whiskey as he licked into your mouth. Your hands quickly relieved him of his belt, the clinking of it drowned out by the heavy breaths…

“F-uck…you’re takin’ me so well,” He used the momentum of resting his forearms down by your head to grind his hips into you. The head of his cock sent a cascade of white pleasure over you as it stimulated your g-spot.

“’m close, Joel, please.” You begged, you begged for the release that was so close, that was coiled so tight in your middle it was bringing tears to the corners of your eyes. He continued to grind into you, his lips coming to press sucking kisses along your collarbone. He bit down hard and it sent you over the edge as the pain sparked low in your core. Your muscles tensed, you could feel yourself clenching him tightly where he moved inside you, working you through your orgasm. A stuttered sound rumbled deep in his chest as his grinding turned into fast, hard thrusts.

He hauled you up, bringing your blissed out form flush against his chest as he sat up on his knees. You whimpered as you felt another orgasm build at an alarming rate. You clenched your knees around his waist and moved down against him, chasing it as he continued to chase his own. His hands were on your hips almost painfully tight, where he helped to pull you down as he thrust up into you. The sound of skin on skin was loud in the room, the bed frame creaking as you both took what you needed from each other.

“C’mon, give me another, sweet girl,” He curled his arms underneath your armpits to rest his palms on your shoulders and used them to bring your hips down to meet his with even more delicious friction.

“Haah, Joel, I- I can’t.” You dug your nails into his own shoulders, pulling a growl from him as the feeling went straight to his cock buried deep inside you.

“You were so desperate for it for so long, yes you can, give it to me sweet girl,” He snaked a hand down to rub two fingers over your clit in small circles. You choked on a moan that ripped from your throat as white spots danced across your vision. The clench of your third orgasm milking Joel’s out of him. His hips stuttered as hot ropes of his release filled you up, some of it dribbling down his length where it began to leak out of you.

He moaned at the sight, resting his forehead against yours as you both panted.

An alarm blaring had you beginning to stir, the sheets tangling around you as you twisted to reach for the clock on the bedside table. When you flopped back on the bed facing away from it, your bleary eyes feel on the already awake form of Joel. His eyes were serious as he watched you settle back into the bed. He almost looked wrecked and that had you shooting up on your arms and moving as close to him as possible.

“What’s wrong?” You brought your hands to cradle his face, fingers brushing underneath his conflicted eyes.

“You were still on the ground and I just… I just fuckin’ left you there without a word.”

You felt your chest thud at the pain of the memory, the one that plagued your restless nights as summer had droned on and waned. It had faded to a facet of life, something that had once happened. Sometimes it was heavier than others.

“…it wasn’t the best reaction.”

“That’s one of the worst things I’ve done since comin’ here.” He confessed into the crook of your neck where he had buried his head. You just tightened your arms around him, comforting him as he worked through it. His voice cracked on his next words. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, I’ll carry that with me until I die.”

You both laid there, wrapped up in each other and whispered words of apology to each other. For the things you’ve done to each other to the things that have happened to each other. Comfort turned into promises and promises turned into kisses.

After getting showered and dressed, you walked to the stables together. Sharing a thermos of hot coffee, the steam rising to keep your faces warm in the face of approaching autumn. You were mid laugh when Joel raised his hands to cradle your face and pepper kisses over your face, stopping right there in the middle of the street in the early morning. Chuckles in between kisses had your heart racing in your chest.

When you both rounded the side of the stables there were already two horses saddled and a waiting Tommy at the gate to the outside pen beside it. He crossed his arms and walked passed you two with a simple, “Y’all are fuckin’ idiots. You know that?”

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saltygilmores · 5 months

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THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: SEASON 3, EPISODE 2: HAUNTED LEG (PART 2)

Both Emily and Lorelai are planning to attend Rory's "Swearing In" for her Vice Presidency at Chilton So, this is a very similar scenario to the one that happened 4 episodes back in "Lorelai's Graduation Day". Yes ma'am, it's another "Lorelai is unhappy about having to be at a place where her mother will also be but Rory wants them both there" situation. Yeehaw.

Shhh. Nobody tell her.

This is such a great line, and I don't fancy myself much of a Quote Lover, but I love this one so much I want to make it a magnet and stick it on my fridge next to my "Why did you drop out of Yale" magnet.

Nothing of great consequence or interest happens at the ceremony. Rory and Paris give mediocre speeches. Things between Lor and Emily are still chilly. Emily wants to meet Lorelai for lunch at Luke’s the next day. I see Francie up on stage and remember, tis the season for an incredibly boring storyline involving mean-girl nonsense and school politics 🥱 Francie is the Jason of S3.

I plan to forward past a lot of that sillyness and save myself some time.

Rory tells Paris after the first student body meeting that she wasted everyone’s time and nothing was accomplished and nobody ate the doughnuts that were provided. Paris is incredibly turned on and asks Rory if she wants to get married.

Just more Jess erasure... Alright, alright! This was Sookie's directive (supposedly) and it was said in jest. And here I was about to cancel Lorelai again for banning Jess from her stupid inn filled with mice. I've canceled her more times than an unwanted subscription to Dean Forrester Monthly magazine.

Not me going "what is this stupid obscure reference that nobody will understand", then googling it only to find out it's from The Godfather, the award winning book and movie series that half the population alive has seen but not me. I don't watch movies, okay?

Yes Ma'am!

I hate this stupid bullshit. Blew past the entire scene.

That's more like it.

Luke: Kirk came to me for advice about whether or not he had a shot with you. I told him you liked movies and junk food and talking incessantly but we both agreed that there's nothing like some good lovin to shut someone up." So then you agree, the only thing that would get Lorelai to shut up is to fuck her? Take your own advice already, Sir, and do it already. You're killing us here. Lorelai: Can you bring me a sharper fork? I'm not sure this one will go through your hand. Ah, I see that like me, Lorelai is also a connoisseur of making jokes about injuring people with forks. We're not that different, you and I.

What the hell else is there to do for fun in Stars Hollow?

More Crusty nonsense. Followed by student council nonsense.

Well if that isn't the Non Privacy And Feelings Respecter Pot calling the Non Privacy And Feelings Respecter Kettle black.

At least Santa Claus visits his Children once a year, which is more than Christopher does.

Not me and @frazzledsoul discussing just yesterday how often answering machines were used as a plot device on tv in the 90's and early 00's. AmyShermanPalladino in particular is obsessed with the humble answering machine. Because social media didn't exist yet and the male characters must have some way to harrass the women when they're apart. At least It's only Kirk this time so he probably meant well. Probably. He's kinda a perv. Lorelai: i hate my life. Maybe if we look into each other's eyes and say "I wish I were you" we could pull a Freaky Friday. (Imagining I'm me, Salty, and NOT Rory, Freaky Friday'ing with Lorelai): Let's see, let's see switching lives with Lorelai: The whole "fucking Luke" thing is good But then I'd also have to fuck Dean And I'd have to fuck Crusty.. Max? (eh?) Alex? (sure) Have Emily as my mother... Working at a dumb Inn... Idk if having sex with Luke is worth all that. Rory: "If we switched bodies, I'd have to date Kirk." If you switched bodies, Lorelai would have to date Dean. I don't hear her complaining about that.

The real star of Gilmore Girls.

Oh no. Not the LOR.

*smashes that bottle of wine over Crusty's head*

45? FORTY FIVE? He tripled the record held by the previous contender. Dean better step his harrasment game up if he wants to surpass that number. Crusty: "You don't get to dictate what to do! I called you (45 times) and you didn't respond so I did what I had to do. You can't shut me out, that's wrong! Your'e keeping Rory from me! Why hasn't she called me back?" EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE MEEEE??

Oh my, the whiplash of seeing Rory stand up for herself and get into Crusty's face, only to have her head to Doose's in a few moments where Jess will give her the peg-lowering of a lifetime and she'll limp away defeated with her tail between her legs. I'll put that in my next chapter. Things Googled While Watching Gilmore Girls: Clemenza, I Take A Nap Gif, Now Kiss Gif, Spelling Of Connoisseur Cutting Room Floor A joke about how Jess won't be invited to any more Bracebridge Dinners since he's vegetarian and he's banned from the inn.

#please post this to my dashboard Tumblr please #it's a mess if you don't #I've been your loyal suscriber since 2010 #do this for me #Gilmore GIrls #Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls #Gilmore Girls Season 3 #Haunted Leg #Rory Gilmore #Lorelai Gilmore #Luke Danes #Crusty nonsense #PariMore #Paris Geller

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nerves-nebula · 11 months

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thinkin about how im gonna keep writing the abe & donnie story. on the one hand, i dont wanna just fade to black when the more explicit stuff happens. i didnt get that grace. a lot of people have trouble remembering what happened to them but not me, my memories are fleshy and uncomfortable and clear, and i wanna put that down here. but on the other hand idk how to do that with the right vibes yknow? ive really only dabbled in writing about sex for like, kinky/arousing reasons and i'd hate for that to carry over to scenes that are supposed to be horrific and uncomfortable and meaty in a wholly unpleasant way.

eh, i've got time to figure it out, but yeah, im thinkin about it.

#nnstuff #rambling #tmnt abe #csa tw #sa tw

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butmakeitgayblog · 11 months

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We’re you always the queen of writing smut or did it take a lot of practice?

I can’t write it. I’m terrible at it. It all feels too fake and porny when I’m writing it. But reading yours is like… damn, so good chefs kiss gimme more

Any tips? Guidance, sensei?

Akshdljkf oh oof baby. First of all, thank you for having that kind of faith in me or at the very least thinking any thing of the sort about my writing🥴 I have to graciously say that I don't think I am in any way a queen of anything, much less smut, much less for this fandom. I think that crown is securely shared by a few other far more talented writers than me who time and again knock it out of the park. I am but a humble reader and fan of theirs as much as anyone. But still, I appreciate the kind message and the thought behind it, I honestly do.

That being said, eh I mean 🤷‍♀️. I'm no expert, I had never written fiction of any kind before CoA, my first fic. I've kinda just tried my best and winged it and written what I like to read and what I see in my head. As silly as it sounds considering we're talking about smut, I think reading a lot of the kind of work you're trying to write helps. Different stories from different authors who you know are good at the genre you want for your own work. Seeing the different methods they use to go about tackling sce es, integrating styles and things you like and changing things don't like until you find what inspires you. Evaluating scenes from works you like and seeing what you find hot and what doesn't, what flows and gives feelings and what feels like it dosen't, all things to help you create your own style. I read A Lot of smutty fanfic before ever dipping my toe into the writers pool, so when I did take the jump it was after having seen a multitude of different stuff and just internalizing the stuff that was enjoyable for me and then using those tools to create my own voice.

Idk what to say to make you feel better about your own work because obvs idk what it is, but I can say don't always trust your own evaluation or reaction of your work. You've read it a million times so it'll always feel flat and predictable, but to someone else it's new so they're not gonna read it the same way you do. If it still feels stilted, take a step back. Question yourself on what is happening that's making it feel that way. Are there any emotions going on? What are the characters thinking and feeling? Are you focusing too hard on mechanics? You don't want sex to read like an IKEA instruction manual lol so maybe what you have to do is reroute yourself to get away from that. Try and write a sex scene without any technical sex jargon. Try and do it through some prose and verbiage of sensuality, using indirect imagery that lets the reader create the rest of the picture in their own mind.

So for example instead of just "Clarke nipped and sucked Lexa's nipples until they were hard", it becomes "each scrape of Clarke's teeth over the bud of Lexa's breast drew out a sinful moan, feeling her writhe against her mouth as she soothed the ache with a wet suck of her lips. She lapped at the pebbled skin, nipples pulling taut beneath her tongue as she licked circles—" yada yada yada, whatever. But see what I mean? You're basically saying the exact same thing in each case, but the first one just flatly says what they're doing, the other is speaking in actions which paints a picture for the reader to fill in in their head. That's the only even sort-of advice I can give on that. Smut is something people don't wanna just read, they wanna imagine it (no matter how much they may try to lie about that😐) and having a scene that they can immerse themselves in and mental create a picture tends to be what works. In my most humble of opinions at least.

#anon #I'm amazed anyone ever asks for my advice every time I post I assume that'll be the time everyone comes to their senses #and realizes I'm a hack #insert [not bad for a girl with no talent] gif #cuz that's me every time I post 😅

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jakowskis · 13 days

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Day 21 - Discuss Gwen. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

gwen!!! i love gwen. i think she’s fascinating. she’s normal - she’s fucked up. she’s empathetic - she detaches from the people closest to her. she loves rhys - she loves jack. she knew torchwood was toxic - she joined anyway. she’s just a really fleshed out, grounded character, akin to some of the doctor who companions imo, but because it’s torchwood she gets to be a little more of a straight up asshole - i love it. i think she’s a brilliant character. and she’s also adorable and funny and badass and gorgeous and sweet and lovely and a little bit deranged. i adore her.

my fav gwen moment would have to be when she retconned rhys in combat 😭 HEAR ME OUT. that’s the moment i was like ‘oh holy shit she’s fucked up’ and that made me feel compelled by her... she’s since become my second fav character and i think if that scene didn’t exist she wouldn’t have reached that point for me. esp because it established her as a certain type of fucked up, you know? her cheating on rhys wasn’t nice, but it was interesting. i think her struggles with emotional faithfulness and how easily she was pushed into sexual infidelity from stress and isolation make her interesting. her and owen are psychological marvels to me, in the best way fshdfkjds they’re both really fascinating characters with really interesting and, bafflingly, well-done trauma responses. listen, i like rhys a lot, and i pity him, but my main issue with that plot is less that she did it in the first place and more that that plotline was never given closure. i don't rlly have much interest in condemning cheating as it exists in fiction, it's just a plot device to me so it doesn't register as particularly immoral when done by characters (as in, it doesnt make ME hate them; i know some people think it's a Grave Sin) - but i do think rhys did deserve better than never being offered transparency in that regard. but i don’t blame gwen herself for that, so much as i blame the writers.

and then aside from that, i have several fav gwen-being-cute moments, because she’s like a fluffy little creature to me fhsdkj there’s something about eve’s tooth gap i think and the way they do her hair, and those big ol’ eyes…. i want to keep her in my pocket. i love the handful of times her and owen goof off, i love her crying pizza scene, i love the scenes where she’s being playful with rhys, i love her reactions when she's talking to emma about sex in out of time (eve’s comedic acting is so funny too btw like some of the faces gwen makes at shit kills me. shes just so tangible she looks and feels like a real person you’d be friends w like thts gwen my friend gwen)... i love the way she bonds with female characters, idk why that was something that really stood out to me like she way she bonds with other women, i love it. with jonah’s mom and with beth... in an era where women were pitted against each other a lot (we see it happen w her n tosh in, like, countrycide a little), it's nice they subverted that. i love when women take care of each other. nice little thing to include in tw of all shows.

my least favorite gwen moment… i can’t really think of one of the top of my head? OH i know. the way she treats andy in adrift bothered me a bit. i think the concept of ‘torchwood’s changed you, you’re crueler now’ is brilliant, but it’s a little more personal between them, and she's unnecessarily a bit condescending w him, so it rubbed me a little wrong. but torchwood in s1 were meant to be cocky so ig maybe that could've rubbed off on her too... but the show doesn't suggest that so eh.

i don’t think i have any unpopular opinions, other than i think she’s a great character + she’s very likeable and compelling, and i think gwen bashers are misogynistic morons ❤️ oh also! i think she’s just as bisexual as the other three, she’s just not as tapped into her attraction to women. gwen to me is a “when i was a kid i used to stare at my best friend and think about how pretty she was… but that’s normal right i mean thats just loving your friend right. feeling warm when you brush her hair at a slumber party is normal right” type of wlw fsdkjfd. i think she emotionally latches onto women (like i said we see this happen in the show) but she’s just gone through life assuming she’s straight so she never clocked herself as having the capacity for that emotional attachment to be something romantic instead. not unlike pre-gbg tosh.

fun headcanons… her and owen are besties. this is canon as far as im concerned but i’d like it to be even More. they just sort of have a surprisingly easy rapport, like they enjoy each other's company (somewhat surprisingly, given their contrasting personalities) and are weirdly in sync esp in s2, but they also poke and prod at each other. they have a shiv & roman from succession relationship to me - “hey slut” “hey f-g” HFSDKJFHDKJ do you see. do u see my vision. (not the sibling shit obviously just That Vibe.) i love writing them bantering back n forth, it's tons of fun. also lowkey projecting shit from the actors onto them - eve used to just straight up wrestle burn and that feels like a gwen owen activity i think she should pick him up and slam dunk him into the ground. theyre boygirlbesties to me i think they should go shopping together and try shit on and insult each other. i think they should go to more movies n sit in the back n whisper back n forth. i also think gwen and tosh should be closer as well im sending them on a spa trip. girl’s night! oh speaking of girl’s night ive also had this fic in development for a while about owen playing with gender (i think he needs that i think it’d heal him) + it has two separate scenes where gwen puts makeup on him cuz i think they should recreate that lesbian makeup image. thats their relationship to me. i also think she should peg him platonically. do u kinda see the vibe im going for here. speaking of pegging… shit that needs to be introduced into her relationship w rhys. female characters who i’d fix by buying them a strap-on. also she needs to have gay sex it’s crucial. ok ill shut up now. idk if i have any other non-cursed hcs HKSDF sorry im evil xD ill show myself out. gwen cooper they could never make me hate you i love you mwah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#tdot #txt #some ppl think shes not the heart of the show... thats my wife so shut the fuck up #she is but she's the fucked up heart which is the best part!!! why would torchwood's beating heart be normal. it's torchwood #also i didnt know where to put this but gwen's become my comedic relief character when i write... she just brings a vibe like #she's decisive but also she's enough of a goof and a people person that she's able to bring the tension down in the room #in the show she's more prone to getting stressed too but there's moments where she's silly i like leaning into that #and NOT in a jack way btw jack does it in an infuriating way #shes just my silly i luv her sense of humor

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having-conniptions · 9 months

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Love In The Air episode 8 live reaction under the cut (long post)

I was gonna watch the new episodes of Link Click and Jujutsu Kaisen but I saw the PrapaiSky preview and I need it RIGHT NYEOW

I can already tell they're gonna be the death of me

Wait this looks familiar... timeskip back to the race Rain and Sky snuck into?

Yup, definitely. The dude with the half-jorts is there lmao

I am SO ready to watch everything play out from Sky's and/or Prapai's perspective

And THAT'S when Prapai spots Sky. Bruh if I were Sky I'd have melted right then and there with Prapai smiling like that

He immediately has a soft spot for Sky huh

"He's my boy" not yet baby

He's lecturing Sky but he also saved his ass

Sky's annoyed face when Prapai tries to touch his face WE LOVE A STRONG BITCH

Oh that is NOT how a relationship should start PRAPAI I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU DON'T PULL THIS SHIT

I mean at least Sky told him to take what he wanted

And honestly Sky is really going for it so I guess it's not that bad but it's still some weird power dynamic / blackmailing shit soooo... eh

OH WOW

Lmao at the same time Phayu is lecturing Rain until Rain kisses him - idk if I love getting a recap of the whole first half of the series but I guess it helps put the PrapaiSky scenes in a chronological context while also slowing down the pacing so it's not all over in 2 episodes

Ok Sky is mad and I am confused bc how much of what happened did he actually want? He seemed rather enthusiastic but when Pai went for a second round Sky looked rather grumpy but told him to "bring it on" regardless? Very very dubious consent and Sky feeling used afterwards...

"Single life is the best. I can sleep with whoever I want" oh Mr. Braces over here is a player huh? How old is this kid??? Lmao

Poor Sky he deserves to be loved, not used

Aaaaa the montage of PrapaiSky thinking about each other / trying to forget

IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS

THAT'S A WHOLE QUARTER OF A YEAR THAT'S A WHOLE ASS SEASON

Hehehehe Prapai is such a player... but he can't go through with it because he can't get Sky out of his head, classic

3 months later Prapai is still replaying that night in his head huh... (riding his bike while thinking about Sky riding him)

Lmao Sky is reading Demon Slayer (I already spotted the figurine in his room a while ago)

Hahahaha the little reference to the source material of the series

"I don't know who you are. But if you're trying to annoy me, I'm hanging up." I LOVE HIS SASS

"In case you didn't know, humans are warm-blooded. And I'm a human. It's normal for my body to be hot. You don't have to help me, cause I don't associate with cold-blooded animals. Farewell." I SWEAR HE HAS THE BEST LINES LMAO

HE'S SO SASSY ICONIC SAVAGE HE'S THAT BITCH

Prapai is just being a bit of a creep rn

The way Sky just yeets his phone

Lmao Pai is already so whipped

Wtf is that chicken dance

"You've met P'Pai, haven't you?" awkward......

Hahaha Sky putting the pieces together "Wind... Prapai."

ALSO I JUST REALIZED I FIGURED OUT THEY HOOKED UP AND THEN DIDN'T SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN (before we actually saw what happened) I CONNECTED THE DOTS CALL ME SHERLOCK HOLMES

Sky needs a ride, HOW CONVENIENT

"Rain doesn't know about us, does he?" THERE IS NO "US" YOU GUYS HOOKED UP ONCE THAT'S NOT "US"

I love that Sky is standing his ground

Pai you're being cringe

So the reason why Sky rejects Prapai is because he doesn't believe Pai is actually interested in him beyond sex and thinks he's just gonna use him 😭 awwww baby nooo you're amazing and that's why he will fall in love with you and give you the world 😭❤️

SKY IS SUCH A SAVAGE I LOVE HIM

Ok sunflowers are cool I'd be thrilled to get a whole bouquet of them

Oh he's calling him! Oh he has him saved as psycho... 💀

He's hesitating to throw away the flowers!!

Bonus scene: "sometimes sexy. Occasionally sad. Mysterious at times." That's how he sees Sky huh xD

#another looong post #mainly about how much i love sky #sky is best boy #love in the air episode 8 #love in the air #love in the air live reaction #prapaisky #phayurain #payurain

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voidstilesplease · 2 years

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ELITE: Season 1 (Episode 1) Summary & Notes

*of course this contains spoilers*

Episode Title: Welcome

Summary: After a public high school collapses, the builder tries to repair its image by paying for three impacted students to attend an exclusive private school. (description straight from Netflix)

EH!:

Starts very dramatically, but I’m really oddly.... into it? Right off the bat, you see a crime scene; you see blood, you see the police getting involved… basically, you see the deal. Someone’s dead. Could be anyone, and the killer could be anyone as well. You might be attached to the dead person by the end of the season, or rooting for the killer all along. Who knows. And I love that.

The outside shot of the school is gorgeous. I don't know what I expected, since it's literally supposed to be an ELITE school, but yeah. I was very impressed.

Another really impressive thing is: Nadia. I just love the girl. I don't know how to express it in words. I just do. I want more of her.

“When your name is Nadia Shanaa, you better know what can get you expelled.” HOOOO THIS LINE. The connotation of this line is of course not the least bit amusing, but I love how homegirl came prepared. Lmao. Like, 'I'm already here. I'm not going out. None of y'all rich brats will make me. This is my shot, and I'm not throwing it away.'

On a similar note, Samuel’s introduction to the class is *chef’s kiss*. Though it’s self-deprecating, I think it’s the perfect way to show that he’s unfazed by the prejudice from them wealthy kids. That makes him kinda the opposite of Nadia because homegirl wants that trophy and the Ivy League, I can already tell, and she lets them know it - but I’d like to interpret Samu as kind of passive-aggressive, at least? Might actually not be the case, of course, and Samu’s really just this gentle dude who stays away from confrontations, but I still enjoyed the clap back when it happened.

And this one, lol. Okay. I knew there was gonna be lots of sex and nudity in this show (hello, Manu freaking Rios seduced me into doing this) but in the case that I didn’t, I think it’s…… very considerate of Netflix to let us know that they’re not gonna be shy from showing asses and breasts in this series. And sixteen-year-olds having sex in the goddamn shower. Christ. (I mean. Why am I surprised anyway? I just said Manu Rios made me do this, and his character's probably the STAR of the boys locker 🤣) Anyway....

Marina is cool, I guess… That thing about her STD is terrible irl, but an interesting plot point for the series imo. It sheds light to her rebellious streak and why she kinda has issues with her parents and Guzman who's really overprotective of her.... I don't know? Will that be important? Will she, like, infect someone? Will that somehow play into the main plot?

ALSO, important note: Ander is my male eye candy this ep, lol. He's really cute.

THE DEAD BODY REVEAL AT THE END WTF. Is this how it’s gonna be for the next seasons? Because I am shooketh. I didn't expect to know who died so early. But thanks, ig? Lol. Now I know not to invest my emotions in Marina 😂.

MEH?:

All right, I don’t hate Christian, but I strongly dislike him the first second he’s on-screen. Maybe he came on too strong? Idk. He just felt forced somehow? Although I admit the walking naked in the corridor scene was hilarious, I'm still not sold. He is very imposing in a very annoying way. Can’t even really blame Guzman for being an asshole to him lol. This brings us to the next bullet:

Guzman is an asshole. He has reasons I’m sure, and he’ll eventually drop from the high horse, but for now…. he's meh to me.

NO. They did not call the hijab an accessory. Yo, wtf is that? And they also threatened Nadia’s wearing it as a probable ground for expulsion? YO, that’s not cool. They should reevaluate that handbook and make it more open to diversity. Like??? Honestly, fuck you, ma’am.

Yooooo Samu’s older brother is a trouble-maker. And not the type that I enjoy, too. Not against it, I love trouble-makers as much as the next bitch, but I just haven’t found the reason to appreciate him? I’m sure I’ll figure out where he stands in the next episodes because he seems like an important part of the big picture. But in this ep? Nuh. No. Bye.

I'm just gonna come out and say it: I hate Lu. Which is the same reason why I should have loved her, in this backward logic of mine. And actually, she was part of my EH!s. Until that racist comment to Nadia. They’re just really bothered by her hijab huh.

Polo is hella attractive but idk wtf’s up with him? And Carla, too. Their relationship was ????? Voyeurism and consensual cheating are common kinks in the many fandoms I’ve been in (and read fics for), but…… that sex scene between Christian and Carla with Polo watching through a mirror was really lmfao ?????

Finally, I am NOT a fan of the attraction between Nano and Marina. Not at all. But I guess nothing comes out of it in the end, right, or at least nothing that lasts into the second season. Because, well…. The DEAD BODY REVEAL lol. That’s good. Perfect. But as long as Marina’s alive, and I guess she will be until the last episode, a relationship forming between her and Samu’s brother is not impossible. And that’s what I’m most dreadful about. Because I can already see it happening asgbfdhfdj. And I don’t wanttttttttt.

Standout character of the episode: Nadia

Character idfc about: Christian???

Overall: I think it's a very solid pilot episode!

Gonna do two or more episodes at a time in the next. I'm excited!!! And I wanna add screenshots, but Netflix doesn't allow it 😒

#Elite #Elite Netflix #Elite S1 #ManuRiosMadeMeDoIt #Elite Spoilers #this is NOT a comprehensive analysis on the episode #these are notes FOR ME tyvm

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olivieraa · 1 month

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actually forgot I took these screenshots of that movie last night

see I'm very iffy about this movie but I saw myself in her just a little bit. bc to a lot of people, esp non-feminists, they'd look at her as a baby in an adults discovering and figuring out life quite rapidly, yadda yadda, which is true.

but the thing is, she's figuring it out as a female (little girl, woman... idk which applies here)

when she discovers sex she thinks its incredible. and the first man she ever does it with knows how to perform well. but she looks at sex like this fun thing that makes her feel good.

when she ends up working at this brothel and has sex with other men, she realises sex is not viewed the same by everyone. its not what she expected.

and to me, this part in the movie is her turning point.

just reminds me of when I became a feminist. I was a naive teen and young 20 year old that thought sex was about pleasure and love. I used to reblog a lot of porn gifs bc of that on a different blog.

but I think it was either 2013 or 2014 that I started seeing a rise of choking and face slapping gifs. and I was like "is... is this a part of sex? this isn't the sex I know"

and it... changed me. when it started to become more mainstream.

I started to feel a hatred towards sex. I would be out with friends and they'd be talking about sex quite a lot and I'd always be wondering in my head, "you talk about sex as if its intimate. does he choke you? does he slap you? its not sex then. its just not". and I just couldn't stop these thoughts.

cut to the most recent of years and the women in my life have openly been talking about the choking especially.

eh so yeah, this scene resonated with me bc my idea of sex changed and never went back and the same seemed to have happened to her.

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povestotrischane · 1 year

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basic mecha vn adaptation details:

- it'll be an eroge for a variety of long and complicated reasons which basically boil down to "the public perception of vn genre has been heavily sanitized in the west, western vns are notorious for being #notlikeothervns and the words "western vn" are mainly used derogatorily, by harkening back to the legacy of classic eroge such as f/sn, tsukihime, fmdm or fucking. i don't know. rance. i feel i'd better attract fans of the genre + combat the increasing sanitization of vns, seen in Every Mainstream VN Release In The West and in increasingly in the japanese market as well (i HATE f/sn realta nua. i'm not saying nasu is good at writing h-scenes or w/e (he's cartoonishly bad at it actually) but i am saying that it's A Choice to take hf, the route about sex and sexuality and the sex = death trope, and get rid of all the h-scenes) + weed out ppl who think ddlc is soooo messed up and genuinely. would not be able to handle 10 minutes of idk. higurashi or smthing" with a side of "ofc sex and sexuality are important thematically, tf do you think i am?"

- 4 routes. gawaine is the narrator. it goes priamus -> ysabelle -> lancelot -> ragnelle. sgatgk doesn't happen until route 4. route 1 is a bit expository and is ultimately about gawaine's political machinations/two-faced-ness, modred stabs the shit out of him a la the alliterative morte in the end. route 2 is basically about gawaine doing whatever the fuck he wants forever, do his actions have consequences? eh. does he want to fuck his mecha? probably. is it more complicated than that but takes a while to articulate? yeah lol. route 3 is about uhm. obsession. it's the remarkable route and gawaine is a total freak idk what to tell you he's so abnormal in this one. route 4 is a straight up horror route in which gawaine IS naturally the perfect chivalrous knight who would never do anything he's done throughout the rest of the vn and also galahad levels of repressed. something is deeply wrong. renard the fox is there. overarching themes surround desire, indulgence/repression, chivalry, idealism, sex and sexuality.

- ok time for actual lore stuff. gringolet and galatine are the same thing. and by that i mean gawaine's mecha is galatine, in the same way that lancelot's is secace and arthur's is excaliber, etc. but also. galatine is gringolet, because he stole gringolet from the saxons and quickly decided to officially rename it to that of the mecha he's Supposed to have bc he's not stupid. the thing is, gringolet is uhm. an organic lifeform! (think nge or darling in the franxx) and sentient! and gawaine and gringolet are thus able to share a much deeper bond than anyone else in the round table and their mechas. the og galatine probably ended up being renamed to clarent and given to modred, for a mix of reasons (tie up loose ends, a mecha is a lot harder to sneak around than a sword + why would there be a ceremonial mecha? things have to be rewritten here, leads to there only being one sister mecha to excaliber, makes an easily identifiable symbol of modred and gawaine's relationship for when the inevitable fratricide comes up).

- the ladies of the lake are ais, the du hautdeserts are either robots, humonculi, or one of each, magic and technology are kinda blended to the point where pointing out the difference is kinda pointless

- aggravaine beheads lamorak for thematic reasons which come down to "damn. there seems to be a pattern with his brothers and weird psychosexual issues regarding beheadings. how would that apply to him." and uhm. lamorvaine real.

- the current state of arthur's kingdom is uhm. kinda in a bit of disrepair. like even the richest of the rich don't have the best conditions available. the world is practically covered in a thin layer of rust.

- most countries are planets (occasionally they'll also include like. nearby asteroids / moons / w/e), the names + uniforms used/worn by the knights change based on what planet they're on, in writing and in international diplomacy, they always go back to their latin names though

- tristan pilots a dogfighter instead of a mecha bc 1. he's an archer and 2. mechas are reserved for round table knights

- knights are wayyyy more likely to getting into classic sword/lance/fist/bow fights than actual duels

- morale kinda sucks in the round table as a natural result of (thematic reasons)

- uhhhhm i can't think of anything else rn

#romeo.txt

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kingofthewolvez · 2 years

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oooh wait space show?? astronauts? mars?? space? hypothetically speaking where might one watch it. for hypothetical reasons that are definitely entirely unrelated to my interest in those exact things. (/I don't think sarcasm is quite the right term here but like? idk. please tell me about the show it sounds very very cool)

OMM YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

For All Mankind!!!!!!! It’s an alternate history show on Apple TV+ (but you can probably pirate it, you should pirate it, I just have a rich dad. just looked it up and they’re all on soap2day so 👍) where the Soviets got to the moon first so the U.S. expanded on the space race!!

It’s genuinely amazing, they actually have physical Moon sets and accurate space suit costumes and only use cgi for space and the ships and shuttles which makes sense. It also deals a lot with the family drama of the astronauts, some of it is kinda... eh, especially in s2, but a lot of it is still great (Gordo and Tracy my loveds). It also imo is really great at depicting how NASA would deal with getting women and POC into the space program since it was the 60s-70s. Also there’s gay people. Genuinely the only show I’ve seen that has like, a non-fetishized and actually realistic lesbian couple :)

Ohhhhgggg I’m trying not to spoil too much, since you should watch it it’s so great and the whole fandom is like. cishet women who watched it because they think Joel Kinnaman is hot. so i need more, idk gay people????? /hj BUT WWAAAAA jamestown. just. jamestown. Idk if the bonus content is available too, but theres a lot of that and I’m also a U.S. history enjoyer and I love that you can see the presidents go by and all the other events happening in the background its so cool....

ALSO fun minor fact, they mention like in passing in another event (so not r spoilers) but in this universe they actually caught the o-ring issue on the shuttles (which they have before they do in real life) so there was never actually a Challenger explosion and probably no Columbia, so this universe’s NASA is way better and less about profit which is <3333 HGOOOOOOOO

And Mars!!! Season 3 is coming out on the 10th and what’s planned is that they’re going to Mars in the 90s!!! This is obviously going to be a lot more experimental and different since we have been to the Moon but we haven’t been to Mars. So I’m excited to see what they do!! From the trailers it looks like there might be some sort of orbiting gateway base Artemis style??? Which is so swag. I also reallyyyyy wanna know what they’re calling the missions lol.

OH. And a little warning if you do watch it: There are quite a few scenes with death and minor gore, but it’s not that bad??? It’s just kind of emotionally hard to see. It definitely balances the horrific aspects of space along with the heroic ones, yknow? There are some sex scenes too, which. nasty. but what are you gonna do. Not in space tho!! if you were thinking that... ajdfskhfklahsdlfjajklfh

In conclusion: FAM best show everrrrrr fr

#✉ you’ve got mail! ~ asks #long post #sorry im autistic

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in-ky · 3 years

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Hi! I’d love a story about Negan being a serial killer who only kills “bad people” (like in Dexter) and maybe he saves the reader from her ex who’s about to kill her and Negan can save her and takes her in because she’s a mess but she’s actually a killer herself (who kills rapists etc/ only the bad ones) and Negan and the reader start fighting and then get caught up in steamy hot sex 🥵 thank you!

Savior - Negan Killer AU

Warnings: Warnings: GORE + violence, smut, domestic abuse, swearing, dirty talk ig? idk how to tag this lol

A/N: hey! i struggled over this one for a while lol. ive only seen like. 3? episodes of dexter so. i really hope this meets your expectations! also forgive any mistakes its late, im tired, and i wanna get this up lol. also, is negan batman? maybe. 3.7k words

"Will, stop you're hurting me!" I hissed, grabbing at his wrist. He tugged me out of the bustling restaurant and into the dark street.

"I don't really give a shit," He snarled, throwing me into a secluded alleyway a few buildings down from the restaurant. Will had taken me out to a business dinner with his boss in hopes of showing me off and making a good impression. But things didn't quite go according to plan. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!" He pushed me against the brick wall of the closed department store.

"What was I supposed to do?" I sneered, trying to wiggle away from him "He kept commenting on my body, saying how he wished he could take me home at the end of the night and do all kinds of 'unspeakable things to me'."

"You were just supposed to shut up and take it!" Will said, voice filled with rage "But no, you and your untamable fucking complex just couldn't handle a compliment. You threw your drink in his face! You're lucky he didn't fire me right then and there. You made me look like some pussy who can't control his whore."

"You're an asshole." I shouted, tears welling at the edges of my eyes. Will's face contorted further into a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" He seethed, clasping his hand tightly around my throat and constricting his fingers around my airway.

"I said you're an asshole who cares more about his dead-end career than his fucking girlfriend." I croaked. I hated him. I hated him so much. My vision clouded with the combination of disgust, loathing, and lack of oxygen, so I hit him where I knew it hurt. "There's a reason you needed me for arm candy tonight. It's 'cause you're a boring, piece-of-shit, lowlife who has no skill whatsoever. How does it feel knowing you need me to make something of yourself?" With that, he threw me to the ground by my throat. He wasted no time and pinned me to the cold concrete. His knees dug into my shoulders and his hand flew to his back pocket, whipping out the switchblade he carried as a precaution against mugging. My eyes widened as they caught a glint of the moonlight off the sharp knife. He brought the blade up to my throat and slapped me over the cheek harshly with his free hand.

"You better take back those words, bitch," He hissed, pressing the blade into the soft skin of my jugular "or they might just be your last." A dribble of blood ran down my neck with the pressure. Realization flashed through my mind. I could die right then. That could have been my last moment. Was I scared? No. Why wasn't I scared? Maybe it had to do with the shadowy figure that was slowly approaching us from the ally entrance.

There was plenty of time for me to warn Will that someone was coming. But I didn't. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched as the shadow figure pulled Will from my body with ease and tossed him to the side. Everything was kind of a blur. I was still oxygen starved and filled with a whirl-wind of emotion. I heard Will cry out in surprise and indignance. The shadow figure said nothing. It saw the switchblade with a steady line of my blood. It kicked Will in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Then it lifted up a baseball bat over its head and cracked it down over Will's skull. He continued to beat Will until he stopped squirming. The shadow figure paused and swung the bat over his shoulder. I had regained my breath and pushed myself to my elbows. The shadow noticed me moving and took a few heavy steps in my direction. I squirmed away slightly, instincts telling me to get away from the thing that had just pulverized my boyfriend. The shadow entered a stream of moonlight. It was a man. He had peppered hair and a blood-speckled face. He had dark brown eyes and a small smile perched on his lips.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He said. His voice was deep. I was partially surprised. He wasn't a bulky man. He was tall and had a broad frame, but his limbs were long and his body was lithe. He wore a leather jacket and his boots were slick with what I could only assume were Will's brains. I didn't want to look at his bat.

"W-Why did you do that?" I whispered. It was all I could muster.

"He was going to kill you." The man sounded confused, like I was supposed to know who he was and why he saved me.

"You don't know that." My voice was quiet. My eyes were glued to a spot behind the man, unblinking. He let out a throaty chuckle and dropped to a squat, leveling with me.

"Doll, he had a knife pressed to your throat," His words were gentle "Looked like he was gonna fuckin' kill you." He hesitantly reached out two fingers in the direction of my face. I didn't move. He was wearing leather gloves. The ridged fabric ran along my injuries. "Seems like he did some damage before I could step in. Damn. Sorry about that. Listen, I live a few streets down. If you want, I can get you cleaned up."

"Okay," I said softly. I let him help me up to my feet. He guided me along with one arm while holding his bat with the other. As we walked out of the alley I couldn't help but look down at Will, or what remained of him at least. His forehead was split in half, a pool of chunky blood bubbling on the ground. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to swallow the bile that had risen in my throat. And yet, I didn't feel sad. I didn't mourn him. Maybe it was shock, maybe it wasn't. "Thank you?" I murmured, though it was more of a question. The man and I stepped out onto the street and I was grateful there was no one around to see us leaving the scene of a very heinous-looking crime.

"No problem, doll," The man hummed, setting a brisk pace down the sidewalk. "The name's Negan, by the way." Cool. Negan: my Savior.

~~~

"So you're like Batman?" I asked Negan as he dabbed the blood away from my neck. He gave a short chuckle and tore away the sticky part of the band-aid.

"I guess you can say that," he mused, splaying the bandage over the cut the knife had left "but I specifically go for people that I know have hurt others. The baddies, if you will."

"Is that legal?" I tilted my head, crossing my ankles as they dangled over the bathroom counter. My palms were flat on the surface of Negan's marble sink top, fiddling with the wrappers of the medical supplies he had used to clean and bandage my small cuts and bruises.

"I haven't been caught," Negan shrugged "besides, it's less work for the police. They don't have to do any interrogation bullshit or anything. I usually catch people in the act, like tonight. Then I do my thing."

"Do you kill everyone?"

"Only the bad people," He reminded, tossing away a bloody tissue "only people who have hurt others. But, yes, usually the offender ends up on the business end of Lucille over there." He pointed out the door into the living room, where the still-bloody bat rested against a chair. I furrowed my brow.

"Well, doesn't that make you a bad guy?" I pressed. He tapped my knee and I dropped down to the tile floor, tucking my hair behind my ear and gathering some of the scraps.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you still kill people, right? Even if they're bad? So doesn't that still make you a killer?" Negan was quiet for a minute. "Let's put it this way," I continued "What would you do if you came across someone who was like you; someone who hurt the bad people. Would you still kill them. They're hurting people." Negan took a deep breath and let it out with a contemplative sigh, itching his bearded chin.

"I'm not sure," He mused "I've never really thought about it before. See, I don't consider myself a bad person per say. Yea, what I'm doing might be considered fucked up. But I'm doing it for the right reason. I'm protecting people by attacking their attackers. In the end, someone's saved." He brushed off his hands and led me out of the bathroom, flicking the light off. "Would you rather me not have saved you tonight?"

"No," I said immediately "thank you. Really, thank you. You saved my life. Will is...was...always a dick, but I never thought he'd actually hurt me. I guess that proves people can have a whole bunch of layers." Negan nodded and moved to the kitchen. He raised a bottle of whiskey as an offering. I shook my head but he poured himself a glass.

"I was just doing my job," Negan grinned sympathetically "I'm sorry your boyfriend was an asshole who tried to murder you." I shrugged, amusement in my eyes.

"Eh, it happens to everyone." I smiled as he let out another laugh. I felt as if I shouldn't be laughing, but at the same time, everyone has their own responses to almost getting stabbed to death in an alley. So I let myself have this moment. Besides, Negan was a good guy to be around. He made me feel safe, comfortable, secure. Everything I needed right now. "So, Negan, what do you do? Surely vigilante-ing can't pay well, and this apartment is really nice."

"I'm a retired baseball player," Negan said, sipping his whiskey and settling into one of the armchairs in the living room "Hence the bat."

"Were you any good?" I asked. He let out a loud scoff.

"Was I any good?" He mocked "Sweetheart, I have a whole damn trophy room. I was fucking amazing. I just got old."

"So you're rich with no real job, you kill bad guys, and you have a massive ego," I listed "You really are like Batman, aren't you?"

~~~

Negan let me stay on his couch that night. It was leather, like everything else that man seemed to own, but it was comfortable. I woke up to the smell of bacon filling the air. I groaned and rubbed my fists against my eyes, clearing them of sleep. I stretched my arms above my head in a yawn and rolled off the couch, stumbling into the kitchen. Negan was hunched over the bubbling pan, dodging pellets of grease as they shot up at him.

"Smells good!" I purred, closing my eyes and taking a deep inhale.

"Good," He grumbled "You better fucking enjoy it because I've gotten burned at least three times." I laughed and walked up to him examining the small red patches that dotted his arms.

"You didn't have to make me breakfast you know."

"Yea, but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable," He sighed, turning off the stove and scooping the cooked bacon onto a paper towel. "Besides, I was craving some bacon when I woke up. I haven't had someone to share a meal with in a while."

"Well, if you want, you can come by my house for dinner." I offered, crunching down on a piece of bacon "I've been meaning to whip out the family alfredo recipe for a while, maybe a hot date would give me that incentive." I gave him a playful wink and he chuckled.

"Sure thing, doll," He hummed, putting the pan in the sink "I love me some fucking spaghetti. I'll see you around seven?"

"Sounds good."

~~~

I ran down the sidewalk, chest heaving. There was enough darkness to cover me, but I still kept my head down to prevent recognition. I held my hands close to my stomach, praying that the blood on my fingers wouldn't drip on the pavement and leave a trail. I had been on my way home from the store when I heard some commotion coming from an alley. My first instinct was to run, but then I heard the girl crying for help. Negan came to mind, what he did, how he helped people. I couldn't turn away. I marched down the alley and saw a greasy man pinning a woman to the wall of a building. Flashbacks of the night before hit me like a train. I looked on top of the alley dumpster and saw a crowbar perched on one of the lids. I grabbed it and stormed up to the man, whacking him upside the head with the weapon. I kicked him to the side and brought the crowbar over my head before swinging it down. It connected with his face in a sickening 'thwack.' I thought of Will. I thought of what might of happened if Negan had never stopped him. I thought of all the times that bastard had gotten drunk and told me I was nothing. I let the rage bubble up and fuel my beating. By the time I was pulled back into the moment, my muscles were screaming, the woman was gone, and the man's face was unrecognizable. I tossed the crowbar into the dumpster and ran back home.

Dried blood is extremely hard to wash off. It sticks to your skin in flakes, creating a pattern of red veins crawling over your hands. Fuck. I scrubbed as hard as I could under the rushing water of the sink, pumping more and more soap into my hand. It was under my fingernails. It was stuck in my palm prints. Shit, did I leave fingerprints at the scene? Would they be coming for me? With a hiss, I rubbed even harder at my skin, small flecks of blood turning the sink water red.

Suddenly, my door opened.

"I'm ready for my s'getties!" Negan boomed with a wide smile. My head whipped around, looking at him with wide eyes. His grin faded and he crossed the room in record time, grabbing my wrists and turning the sink off. "Is this fucking blood?" He snarled, bringing my hands up to my face. I clenched my jaw and dropped my eyes to my feet. "Jesus, who's is it? Answer me!"

"I-I heard someone screaming on the way home," I said quietly, eyes still downcast "I thought I would help..." His jaw went slack and he let go of my hands, running his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus fuck, you can't just go around killing people!"

"Why not?" I snapped, eyes meeting his "You do it all the time? What's the difference? Why can't I help people?"

"Because it...Because you just can't!" Negan growled, shaking his head.

"Why are you so special?" I hissed back, drying my hands off on a towel before tossing it at him "It's not like you can get a permit for fucking murder. Why do you do it, anyways? Is it some perverted thing? Do you get off on saving people from attackers?"

"Watch yourself." Negan warned, eyes darkening.

"Pfft, or what?" I laughed, tossing my head back "What are you gonna do, kill me? I'm not afraid of you, Negan." As soon as the words left my mouth, he charged me. His hand flew to my throat, squeezing my airway lightly. His hips pressed me against the counter. I let out a small gasp when he shoved his face next to mine.

"Oh, but doll, you really fucking should be." He spat, curling his lip "I could snap your neck right here, right now." He gave a small squeeze to emphasize his words. I let out a strangled moan. We both froze. "Are you turned on right now?" He muttered, furrowing his brow. I licked my lips and squirmed in his grip, pressing my thighs together slightly in an effort to alleviate the warm pressure growing in my belly.

"No," I lied, voice weak. A sinister grin curled over the bottom half of his face and he licked his tongue over his teeth.

"And I'm the perv, huh?" He sucked on my earlobe and peppered kisses down my jawline "Sweetheart, tell me, do you want me to fuck that pretty little pussy of yours? Do you want me to make you cum harder than you ever have?" I whimpered at his dirty mouth. "Use your words, doll, or I'll leave right fucking now."

"Y-Yes!" I breathed as Negan's lips sucked on the sweet spot right beneath my ear.

"Yes, what, princess?"

"Yes, I want you to fuck me, please!" I groaned, clawing at his shirt. He let out a short chuckle, muttering something about how needy I was, but I didn't care. Right now, the only thought running through my head was that I needed Negan. I needed all of him. And damn me if I wasn't going to get it.

We clawed at each other's clothes like rabid animals. Once we were completely bare, Negan moved his kisses down my body. His large, calloused hands kneaded my breasts, twisting my nipples between his thumbs. My arms flew around his neck and I dragged my fingernails up his back. He shivered against my touch and slid his hands further down my body. They settled firmly on my hips as he captured my lips in a fervent kiss.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he grunted, pulling back for air. I looked at him. His tawny eyes were now black, pupils far beyond dilated with lust. Both of our lips were swollen and red from the intensity of our kisses. Negan's chest inflated and deflated quickly as his eyes roamed over my body. "You're so damn perfect." I smiled sheepishly and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, looking up at him through lidded eyes.

"You're not so bad yourself," I reached out my hand and used my pointer finger to draw a line from his collar bone down the center of his chest and through his navel, finally ending right over his pulsing cock. He sucked in a breath as my fingers closed around him. My thumb swept over the hot tip, gathering precum on the pad of my finger and rubbing it around.

"Shit," He hissed as I slowly pumped him "I'm not gonna fucking last if you keep doing that." He gently pried my hand away and took a step closer to me. I could feel his hardened length resting against the inside of my thigh. The thought of him being so close made a burst of heat rush down between my thighs. Negan took a long finger and ran it through my folds, collecting my wetness. I moaned as he teasingly dipped the first knuckle into me. He pulled back and let out a low whistle. "Damn, girl," he chuckled, raising his finger to my face "You're fucking dripping. Who's that for?" His slick-coated fingers glistened in the light of my apartment. I let out a deep groan as he slid them between his lips and sucked.

"You, Negan!" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist "It's all for you." A wolfish grin spread over his features as he tugged me off him and pulled me down off the counter. He spun me around and pressed gently between my shoulder blades until my chest was flat against the cold surface.

"Then if you don't mind," Negan cooed, lining himself up with my entrance "I'm going to take what belongs to me." With that, he slowly pushed into me. I gasped at the stretch, balling my hands into fists as he continued to split me open.

"Fucking shit," he groaned once he bottomed out "you're tight as hell. I bet you've never had a dick as big as mine." He pulled out slightly and I let out a moan at the growing emptiness inside. The moan soon turned to a yelp when he brought down his hand against my ass. The smack was loud and he rubbed the red spot tenderly. "Have you?"

"N-No!" I gasped when he thrusted into me for the first time "Never. Fuck, you feel so good." Negan's thrusts sped up, his hips snapping against my ass in an obscene rhythm. Grunts and moans of pleasure slipped from both of our lips as he plowed unapologetically into me. I could feel every inch of him. He was hitting every spot, dragging against my walls in a sinfully perfect way.

"You're doing so good," He purred, kissing and biting my shoulder "So good for me. You're so perfect." I tossed my head back and he grabbed my chin, tilting my face towards him so he could give me another bruising kiss. I could only keep up for so long, though, and the white bliss of pleasure he was giving me soon became overwhelming. My jaw went slack and my head dropped against the cool tile of the counter in an attempt to ground myself in the moment. "I want you to cum, doll, cum around me. Wanna feel those walls squeeze me." His thrusts were starting to become sloppy and I could tell he was getting to his end. One of his fingers danced down my spine and found its way to my clit. He circled it with just enough pressure to get me to the edge that I was so willing to jump off. "Now." Negan growled. I obeyed, feeling the band in my lower abdomen snapping violently. We reached our releases simultaneously. My walls clenched around him, milking him of every drop. I screwed my eyes shut and screamed his name, holding in a large breath as the world around me spun. Negan eventually pulled himself out and collapsed on top of me. We both were breathing heavily, sweaty bodies entangled as well as we could over a counter. I swallowed, my throat dry from panting through my orgasm. When my eyes fluttered open, I could see Negan's thumb tracing circles over the love bites that were starting to darken on my shoulders.

"Are you going to kill me?" I rasped, running a hand through my wild hair "I guess I'm a bad person now." Negan chuckled, still out of breath.

"I think I'll make an exception," He mused, pressing a sweet kiss to the shell of my ear "I don't think I'm ready to let you go just yet."

#negan x reader #negan x y/n #negan smut #negan x you #negan smith #au!negan #the walking dead #twd smut #twd negan

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undercat-overdog · 2 years

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How about 23 and 30?

23. Dialogue or description? Why is the other one so hard?

Eh, I don’t find that there’s a huge difference between the two for me? Idk, I’ve never thought there’s a sharp dividing line. Typically for me some dialogue comes very easy, but filling in the last connecting descriptive bits is easier than filling in the last connecting bits of dialogue (which are often the hardest part of finishing a scene or story). I don’t think I’m great at description, though, or at least I don’t do enough of true description. (I think that’s true of fanfic in general, actually.)

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.

Lifetime movie sex /o\ Eregion-era silvergifting ridiculousness (I grow ever more self-indulgent), with C demonstrating to S the ideal romantic encounter, complete with dismembered flowers. Safe for work snippet below:

“I thought about it,” said Celebrimbor, “and rather wanted to be more objective. But as you know, Eldarin sexual response is driven by the emotional and social situation, not merely the reactions to physical stimuli, and so I thought for a baseline you should experience sex in a more naturalistic context.”

“Naturalistic?” said Annatar. “Is that the explanation for the rose petals?”

Celebrimbor wrinkled his nose. It should not be an attractive look, and was not on others, but it did not detract from Celebrimbor’s beauty. Annatar even found it endearing.

“Well, by ‘naturalistic context,’ I mean the ideal of a romantic encounter. I myself would not have bothered were this one of my more regular assignations.”

That jealousy was back, and Annatar pushed away the image of Celebrimbor naked and entwined around someone who wasn’t Annatar. But he said lightly, “Not least of which because you’ll need to clean them up. Or I hope you will; rotting petals is a bit much for even your general state of untidiness.”

Celebrimbor waved his hand, dismissive. “Yes, yes. See what I do for you?”

“Dismember flowers?”

“Set a scene for lovemaking. See also the open skylight to see the stars, the candles, the opened bottle of wine by the bathtub. Silk sheets would be traditional, but they’re far too slippery, so I stuck to cotton. I did move a mirror in front of the bed, in case you would like to observe the visuals.”

Annatar thought he might like that — the sight of Celebrimbor caught up in desire might be stimulating, and it could be a setting that would showcase his beauty.

“A dinner prior to the actual sexual encounter is also traditional,” Celebrimbor continued, “but we can forgo that too. Especially since the foods my mother’s people consider aphrodisiacs aren’t available this far inland.”

“An oyster farm might well be possible if the aquarium is ever built,” said Annatar. “But I shouldn’t need aphrodisiacs: I’ve given my autonomic nervous system full reign; it will respond to stimuli as an Eldarin body would.”

Celebrimbor bit his bottom lip in a way that indicated he was holding back laughter. But then he smiled, looking fond and happy, and stepped forward to press his body against Annatar’s, hands sliding down his back to rest at the small of it and pull him close. Annatar felt that autonomic nervous system respond.

#ask #writing #aipilosse #my fic #silvergifting

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uhyeahmaybenoidk · 2 years

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Part 2&3 of ‘I’ve connected the two dots’ the Gilded Age edition

I don’t like the intro. Way too much is happening out there for my taste.

Butlers are the only sane people in this show.

One of these days ladies will gang up on Marian. She is walking on thin ice.

The tea party was pure comedy. Nobody is subtle and Agnes is one step from murder.

Marian: I wish I understood what brings you to New York. Me: Girl, are you blind?

I love the ‘we like riling Agnes up’ club.

Listen I have nothing against Marian but please spice her up a bit. I have like no interest in her as separate character apart from potential love triangle. So far she looks to be a Mary Sue dressed in historical clothes. Honestly, Julian, you can do better.

On the other hand, I’m really intrigued by Peggy. Her past is a total mystery. Frankly speaking I know nothing about America of that period so I cannot tie whatever happened to her to any real life events that would explain why she needs a lawyer. That is why my totally wild and uneducated guess is that she married someone in Pennsylvania against her father’s will and now she’s like ‘oh shit that was a mistake but I won’t admit it to him’. Yep that’s a cliché and dumb theory. I know.

Mrs. Chamberlain is another intriguing character. She is married or she was married. Oh I have a theory! She is a widow who married a very rich but old man who died soon and after his death she got herself a toy boy or whatever they called it in 19th century. That does sound scandalous enough to make Anges’ blood boil, doesn’t it?

I have a question about the dress worn by Carrie Astor in the last scene: what the heck? Did she lose a bet and has to wear this atrocity for a week?

I kind of respect Mrs. Astor. Is she a snob? Yeah. Is she a clever snob though? Hell yeah.

Raise your hand if you don’t trust Tom Raikes. *raises hand*

I mean… yeah I get it sex before marriage is a taboo so if you want to get some, you need to put a ring on it and blah blah blah but dude seems to be too hasty with proposal even for a horny teenager, let alone grownup gentleman.

Agnes is right about him, isn’t she? I bet he is an opportunist indeed. However, what can a middle class lawyer get from this marriage? Money? Nah, Marian is penniless and he knows it. Social status? Eh it isn’t of much use for him.

Unless she isn’t penniless after all. Remember they were talking about shares in railroad companies or something like that which he claims are worthless? What if they are actually worth a freaking fortune?!

Will it have something to do with the station George Russell is about to build? Maybe. IDK. It sounds reasonable now but we’ll see.

I still want to giggle every time George Russell is mentioned.

That freaking maid… She is too clever to seduce George just for the sake of seducing him.

Is she planning to become his mistress? Bitch please. Bertha will twist her neck.

Is she planning to blackmail him? Bitch please. George will twist her neck.

Someone wake Larry up.

Dude, remember that blond neighbour you were flirting with? Yeah it’s time to act. Now!

Give Gladys a sock and set her free.

I seriously try to look at it from 19th century perspective but boy oh boy.

Option #1: Oscar van Rhijn. Is he the worst thing that can happen to a young lady? *remembers what was said about late Mr. van Rhijn* Probably not.

Option #2: whatever her mother planned for her. That one sounds like Gladys is about to be shipped to England and search for a husband with a title. It worked for Cora from DA but a long time ago I’ve read about those American heiress who ended up totally miserable as a result of it so that sounds scary…

Option #3: the boy she mentioned. Archie? I cannot remember the name. Anyway, as Agnes van Rhijn said: ‘sounds dull enough to be respectable.’

I feel for John Adams who lies there imagining quiet life with Oscar and their three corgis while Oscar goes on and on about money and how wonderful Gladys is.

Marian gets on my nerves. Seriously, I get it: she’s strong, fearless, modern woman and all that stuff. But it’s 19th century higher society for Pete’s sake and Marian acts like a time traveler from 21st century. She seems to have no control over her mouth and just says the first thing that comes to her head. In the company of the family it might be sassy and endearing but with strangers she sounds really dumb.

Like how many times can she ask why they don’t include Mrs. Russell? Does she expect that if she asks it a hundred times, they’ll get tired and give up? I really struggle to understand this character.

On paper her lines are clever, in action though… She ain’t one and only dowager countess of Grantham. Sorry not sorry. She’s just too young and her position in society isn’t high enough for her to speak her mind so freely in public.

Ada still creeps me out at times but I felt really sorry for her.

However, it’s one more proof that Agnes sees right though people.

Peggy doesn’t deserve this shit. Period.

I should have seen it coming, right? Yet I didn’t. I was so happy for her and ugh. I hope when she becomes a famous novelist, she’ll write in one of her books something like ‘Dear assholes from The Christian Advocate, screw you!’

‘Do you think we should kneel?’ line aged well.

I naturally disliked Patrick and Anne Morris. They deserved punishment for their actions but daaaamn not like that. I didn’t expect this show to go so far.

How many brain cells does Anne have? Zero?

Somehow Aurora Fane pisses me off even more than Anne.

The boy toy theory… yep I was an idiot.

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

Text

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!”

this will be a common occurrence

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!”

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

#i didn't mean to recap the entire fucking episode lol #sorry #it's to make up for my lack of content lately #or something #anyway #caryl #twd s11ep1 #twd s11 spoilers #dunlap tp

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