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#also aaron
vimbry · 3 days
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some of my favourite spongebob moments are when they accentuate the gag w/ a live-action punchline
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Lucy is so real cause if Maximus was a companion in the fallout games I would be 100% trying to romance him. Look at that smile.
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spockvarietyhour · 1 month
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Well, it's just, for some guys - not me - uh, but for some guys, you know, when they make it move, it gets all big and hard like a pimple and then it pops. And they say it can happen to anybody but it's still, it's, it's gross.
Fallout "The Trap"
Bonus:
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deathcherries · 6 months
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Aaron and andrew have the ultimate bros before hoes pact and both of them chose hoes
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bitterest-taste · 2 months
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growing up is realising that spencer reid was always hot
maturing is realising that aaron hotchner was also fine as fuck the whole time
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dvrcos · 2 months
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“Andrew couldn’t have piercings because he couldn’t wear them on the court” Andrew canonically carries knives under his uniform
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urfavwelshie · 4 months
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sometimes i just randomly think about how andrew minyard's 5'0", drugged up ass saw a crippled, pathetic (babygirl) 6'2" exy star begging for help and went "yep, that's a job for lil' ol' me" and proceeded to protect said 6'2" babygirl with all he's got for like the rest of his college years.
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poltoreveur · 5 months
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I could fix him but I kinda like him a little murderous and psychotic tho
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bucker3911 · 6 months
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*sighs*
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atlabeth · 2 months
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too sweet
pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: a night out makes hotch realize a few too many things.
a/n: me??? writing for criminal minds again out of nowhere??? what is going on. and i do not have an answer i was just in a hotch mood bc he's fine asf and i finally have the confidence to write for him here we are lol. hope u enjoy this short lil thing
wc: 2.4k
warning(s): alcohol consumption, a sexual joke or two, written in one go so might be a mess! aaron is all in his head but this is basically all fluff
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Hotch can’t focus. 
Mostly because he can’t stop glancing over at you. Normally it’s not a problem—he’d lost count of how many times he’d distracted himself from mounds of paperwork by meeting your eyes through his office window, often accompanied by a smile that made even his heart beat a little faster—and especially now, it shouldn’t be a problem. 
You and Derek have had some kind of bet going on during the past few nights out—you didn’t believe he was as charming and suave as he claimed, and Morgan was all too happy to prove you wrong.
You bet that he couldn’t get at least five numbers every night, and come last Thursday, Morgan took the win at the end of the evening with a smile on his face. As punishment, the first round of their next night out was on you. 
And that’s nice, sure. Hotch is always thankful that his team can still joke around and have fun with each other despite everything they have to deal with each day. He hopes they keep the light in their eyes as long as possible, especially the younger ones. He’s fine with being the stick in the mud, the one who never smiles, the iron willed chief that scares local uniforms.
Hotch is not so fine with the way he feels right now. 
It’s a busy night at the bar, which is understandable. Hotch is sure half the precinct is out alongside them, celebrating the BAU finally solving the case that had torn them to shreds over the past week. You, Reid, and Garcia put the threads together an hour into scouring through evidence, and the unsub was cuffed before noon. 
Certainly something to celebrate—there’s a reason the whole team agreed to go out tonight and leave tomorrow. Even Rossi decided to join when he learned you would be buying, but he’s already abandoned them in favor of catching up with some old friends. Hotch even thinks they might have another round in their future because of their solve, courtesy of the local chief. They had a long night ahead of them. 
But you haven’t gotten the drinks yet, and Hotch wonders how long it’ll take even after you do. Because some officer is trying to talk you up, and you’re smiling and laughing along and giving him every bit of your attention. 
Hotch recognized him the moment he set eyes upon him, even in plain clothes. He’s some joke of an officer from the station, and he’s been trying to get your number—or even just get your attention—throughout their whole visit. Always sidling up to you during debriefs, specifically giving you any information or evidence he finds—Hotch has overheard him asking for your number more than once. 
Hotch has been so focused on the case he’s not even sure if you’ve rejected him or not, and the mere thought is enough to annoy him. If he wasn’t equally as sure of your ability to defend yourself and afraid of overstepping with you, he would have stepped in. 
But it makes sense. The officer is young and handsome, you’re young and pretty—not to mention you have a way of lighting up any room you step into. Hotch spent the whole first month of your employment wondering why you would want to do a job like this. He’s spent the rest of it thankful that you did. 
You’re sharp as a whip, naturally, but you’ve also done wonders for the team atmosphere. It’s hard to feel down with a smile like yours beaming his way. The job weighs you down like it does everyone, but you still manage to lift everyone’s spirits on the jet ride back before they jump into the next case. It’s impressive. 
It’s also trouble. You’ve been part of the BAU for almost two years now, and Hotch has spent just as much time tearing his eyes away from you as he has working. It’s wrong, and it’s wholly inappropriate in terms of your working relationship—he’s your boss, for god’s sake. 
But sometimes, Hotch will be beating himself up over one thing or another on a case, and you’ll plant yourself in his vicinity and refuse to leave until you’ve helped him work through it. If you ever tire of the FBI, he thinks you have a second calling as an elementary school teacher. 
Sometimes the hotel they’re staying at will have truly shitty coffee, worse than they’re used to at the BAU, and you’ll already be in the lobby with a tray full of the team’s orders. Hotch never recalls telling you his order—you just figured it out, and you remembered it. 
Sometimes his gaze will drift your way, and he’ll find you already staring at him. You look away just as quickly as he does, and it makes him wonder. 
Hotch has made a living off of studying the behavior of others. More often than not, he finds himself profiling his co-workers just out of instinct. His job is to know what others are thinking. 
But god. When it comes to you, Hotch doesn’t think he’s ever felt more unsure in his life. Especially when you look at him the same way he wants to for weeks, then act nothing but proper another day; when you fall asleep against his shoulder on the jet one night and entertain some desk jockey another night. 
It makes him feel like a highschooler again, trying to figure out if Haley really liked him or if she was just playing around, and it’s more embarrassing than it should be. Especially when he’s still dealing with the lingering emotions from the divorce. 
“Hotch.” JJ’s voice is enough to break him out of his trance, and he blinks as he turns to her. At least someone paid him the mercy to dispel his thoughts, even if only for a temporary time. 
“What?” 
“Did you hear a single word I said?” she asks, a slight smile curving on her lips. 
“Of course,” he responds. “The chief’s over there talking with the commissioner. He’s the same guy who made your life difficult the last time we were in Milwaukee.” 
JJ’s eyebrows shoot up, and she nods. “I didn’t think you were listening.” 
“I think he just got lucky,” Morgan cuts in, his gaze darting over to you momentarily. “I think you were too focused on our drinks.” 
Reid frowns. “I don’t think he was focused on the drinks. He’s—” 
“Just making sure they’re still coming,” Hotch interrupts, and he straightens his tie. Today really has been a long one—usually, he’s better at covering these things up. “And I wasn’t lucky. I was listening.” 
“Trust me,” Morgan says with a laugh, “I’m watchin’ her until I’ve got a glass in my hand. She’s not getting out of this after the way she bragged this whole month.” 
“The stupidest thing to make a bet on,” Prentiss remarks, “especially with you.” 
“She said she just wanted to prove you wrong,” Reid contributes. “She thinks you’re too cocky.” 
Morgan grins. “It’s not cocky if you can back it up.” 
Hotch’s attention goes back to you, and you’ve finally gotten their drinks. You’re loading them onto a tray like you’re the bartender yourself, and his brows crease. Maybe he should have gone up with you. 
“Do you think she needs help?” he asks. How obvious is too obvious? Why does it feel like his brain only works at half power whenever it comes to you? 
“She’ll be fine,” Prentiss says. “And if she needs it, that guy talking her up can help.” 
“Jason Rodriguez,” Reid remarks. “He hung around her the whole time we were trying to pinpoint a location, and he wasn’t any help, which makes sense because he's practically desk-bound at the precinct. I’m surprised she got any work done.” 
JJ chuckles. “I’m surprised he hasn’t given up yet. He’s been following her around all week, like some lost puppy.” 
Morgan shrugs. “I dunno. She seems pretty into him.” 
“I don’t think ex-frat boys are her type,” Prentiss says wryly. Hotch doesn’t think so either, but he doesn’t say anything. Contributing to this kind of conversation is certainly too obvious.  
“I doubt we’ll be back here for a while. She might as well.” Morgan smiled. “She probably needs a win after such an embarrassing loss.” 
Thankfully, before Hotch has to keep pretending not to care about this topic, you walk over carrying a tray of cocktails—and you’re alone. The subject of their previous conversation seems lost in the crowd, and he feels a dangerous amount of relief. 
“Are you all talking about me?” you drawl. 
“You know we are, sweetheart. Thought you were never gonna get here.” Morgan sits up, smiling at you. “What’d my win get us?” 
“Long Island Iced Teas,” you muse as you set the tray down. “Enjoy it, because I’m gonna be working some overtime to make up for all these.” 
Morgan grins as he takes his drink. “You should’ve never doubted my skills.” 
“I’m surprised you didn’t need any help,” Prentiss says. “You’ve done this before, huh?” 
“Bartended my way through college.” You slide into the booth next to Hotch, just a bit too close for a bit too long, and he hopes that no one can see his chest still for a moment. It’s impressive that he still hasn’t figured out how to lessen the effect you have on him. “I’ve probably got better hands than you, Morgan.” 
“Do we need to make another bet?” he asks. “Because I’d love to clean out your wallet.” 
“Maybe wait another month before you prey on any more poor, defenseless agents,” you croon, and Morgan laughs. 
He pivots the conversation away from you when you pick up your drink and take a sip, and you look at Hotch. Whenever your gaze is on him, you make him feel like he’s the only person in the room. He’s sure you never look at anyone else that way, but Hotch wonders how much of that is his mind trying to justify his imagination. 
“I’m surprised you agreed with this,” you say, mercifully interrupting his thoughts. “I thought you’d want us to go back tonight.” 
“You all earned a night out after the work you did,” Hotch says. He thinks about taking a drink, but he decides against it, at least for now. He can barely trust his sober mind. 
“You’ve earned it too,” you say. “We wouldn’t be anywhere without you, Hotch. You keep us all together.” 
He shakes his head. “I don’t think I ever would’ve connected the dots like you and Reid can with Garcia. I hate unsubs with secret codes.” 
“I’ve always liked puzzles,” you muse. “There’s nothin’ like it when it all finally clicks.” 
Hotch hums, and for a moment, he’s silent. Your gaze remains fully on him, and that might be why he has trouble thinking. It’s too easy to get lost in your eyes. 
“What did that guy say?” Hotch finally manages to ask, because he honestly can’t help it. Morgan’s points actually worried him a bit, and he wonders what that says about him. Ex-frat boy certainly isn’t your type, but someone forgettable for a one night stand isn’t the most absurd thing in the world. 
Your brows knit together as you drink some more. “What guy?”
“The officer you were talking with,” he says. “He seemed to like you.” 
He’d been flirting with you since the moment you stepped into the precinct, actually, desperate for your attention, but Hotch didn’t really want to say that. He’s sure you noticed either way, if the rest of the team did. 
“Oh. Him.” You shrug. “He’s nice, I guess. Definitely a looker. But he’s got nothing beneath that hair.” 
“Morgan’s surprised you didn’t bring him back,” Hotch says. He wonders if he’s pushing too much, and again, he feels like a highschooler testing the waters. Do you know what you do to him? What you reduce him to? 
You shrug as you take a sip. “If he knows what’s good for him, he knows he doesn’t have a chance. My attention’s on someone else.” 
Prentiss calls your name and you get drawn back into the middle of the team’s conversation, and thankfully, Hotch has a chance to digest your words—and the stunner of a smile you flash at him before you get pulled into their talk. 
His decision to not drink seems even wiser, now. Hotch has to loosen his tie, and he ignores Reid watching him. It’s futile trying to hide anything from Spencer Reid—the kid already knows everything. 
Again, it's dangerous how much satisfaction he gets from it—from knowing you never really paid that officer a second thought. You didn’t smile at him the way you smile at Hotch. You don’t smile at anyone the way you smile at Hotch. He thought he was imagining it at first, or that he was just a bit too stuck up, but it was the honest truth. You paid him special attention, and he couldn’t blame the warmth in his chest from the thought on any alcohol. 
He tunes back into the conversation just to hear Morgan demand you pay for his next drink. 
“You’re lucky I’m feeling generous,” you say. 
He puts a hand to his chest. “Generous? You’re just paying what you owe me.” 
You laugh and shake your head. “Pick your poison, pretty boy.” 
“How do you feel about tequila?” 
You make a noise of disgust and shake your head. “As long as I don’t have to drink it.” 
“You’re just paying, sweetheart.” Morgan’s eyes dart to Hotch, and he nods as he grins. “One for me and our fearless leader.” 
Hotch shakes his head. “Someone has to get us back to the hotel.” 
“That’s what cabs are for!” Prentiss exclaims. “Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Hotchner. You deserve to let a little loose.” 
“It takes most people an hour to process a drink,” Reid contributes, “so you’ll be fine before we leave if you want to drive.” 
“Come on, Hotch,” you say, and you nudge his shoulder. “You might as well—I’m paying.” 
“...Fine,” he says, and the whole team cheers. Even Reid smiles. 
“Y’know, you can smile tonight, Hotch,” you say with one of your own before you down the rest of your drink and stand up.
And one actually tugs at his lips. It feels a lot hotter in this bar with your eyes sparkling and you beaming right at him, and he fights the need to shed his jacket. Your grin somehow grows. 
“That’s what I came out to see,” you remark as you pick your wallet back up from the table. “I expect another when I get back, Hotch. There’s a lot to celebrate tonight.” 
Yeah, he thinks as he watches you go. There just might be. 
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masterwords · 5 months
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(gif from this incredible forever favorite post by ropoto)
just sayin'.
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pralinesims · 2 days
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The saga of a guy and his photogenic cat 🐾
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nothatsmi · 9 months
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"I'm fine"
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I'm literally obsessed with these fucked up motherfuckers
I'm currently reading the third book, but this is a snippet from the time before Christmas at the Ravens :)
...
Wait
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Here, gained a bit more trauma :))
I'll do more illustrations of the post-xmas-at-Riko's bit, I guess I'll just draw more of them in general
I'll draw some Andreil >:)
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ashleyslorens · 3 months
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#he’s got that sadness in his eyes that you only ever see in catholic stained glass windows
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cerisereids · 24 days
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a/n- thinking about being out with the team when ur relationship w hotch is still fresh and nobody knows but you’re just too happy to see him u can’t contain it
warnings- alcohol consumption, secret office relationship, reader wears lipgloss, lowkey a little angsty? not for long tho, reader tells aaron everything they love about him,
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿  ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
it’s late, the room is spinning, lights are flashing, but aaron hotchner has a hand on the small of your back. you’ll be okay.
“aaron! i’m so happy you’re here!” you gush, throwing your arms around his neck on the crowded dance floor. “hi, beautiful,” he mumbles for only you two, “i think it’s time to head out, yeah?” he encases his arms tighter around you, his natural protective instinct peeking through in the foreign environment.
you freeze in his arms for a moment, his pointed gaze piercing into yours. the alcohol you’ve consumed allows aaron to infiltrate your senses that much quicker, as the woodsy musk of his aftershave mixed with the spice of his cologne floats through your nostrils. the smell is more intoxicating than the alcohol, and you’re certain if he wasn’t holding you, your jelly legs would not have been enough to support you. you completely forget that your intoxicated coworkers stood behind you, watching you cuddle your unit chief with no reserve.
“nooo!” you whine as he gives you a pointed look, lips jutting out in a pout. you watch as his eyes trail down to your glossy lips, sparkling and pink from a gloss that you both know tastes like strawberry.
“come on, sweetheart, you know you have an early morning tomorrow,” he gently guides you to walk in front of him, a protective hand firmly at the small of your back to steer you through the crowd.
“oh, okay!” you teasingly roll your eyes and swat at his chest behind you, “only because you called me sweetheart!”
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿  ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
aaron ignores the accusatory stares of his more sober coworkers as the two of you make your way back to the team’s table. you fumble for your purse, which aaron had placed under his jacket 10 minutes ago.
it scares the shit out of him, the way his heart picks up when you smile at him, thank him, like he’s the patron saint of your universe. whenever you look at him with your big, wild eyes, sparkling just for him, a reddish hue rises to his cheeks that hasn’t appeared in years.
“are you ready, sweetheart?” he asks against your temple, steady hand still resting behind you.
“you bet!” you chirp, and he can’t wait to tease you in the morning, “bye everybody!!!!!” you wave enthusiastically, obliviously, to the accusing eyes behind you, “see you all monday!!!!”
“for everyone’s sake, have a restful weekend,” rossi quips. aaron catches his eye for the briefest moment, and he salutes him with his drink. his cheeks flush once more.
once he’s settled you safely in the back of the cab, he allows himself to enjoy the few minutes of peace and quiet with you. your arms are wrapped around his neck as you sit practically on top of him in your seat, and he cherishes the way his temple nestles perfectly under your chin.
“really like you, aaron,” you say in a soft voice, fingers absentmindedly stroking his hair.
he lifts his head from the crook of your neck and meets your eyes, vulnerable and raw, “yeah? y’like an old geezer like me?” he jokes, desperate to slice through the achy longing that’s suffocating the car.
you roll your pretty eyes and shove his shoulder lightly, “you’re not a geezer. you’re just a gentleman. a really perfect gentleman,” it’s your turn to cuddle back into him now, hiding your face as he strokes your back.
“you’re a great leader, great father,” you murmur, lips grazing the lobe of his ear.
“now you’re really just trying to butter me up,” he teasingly deflects once more, fingertips trailing up your forearm.
“never,” he feels your head shake against him as you press a kiss behind his ear. a shiver unzips down his spine as he holds you tighter. “i see how much you care, so does the team, so does jack. you’re so good, aaron.” he shuts his eyes, holds you even tighter, if that’s possible. you keep going.
“you’re so smart, so kind, so gentle. truly an incredible man. i don’t think you’re told that enough,” you pull back, piercing him with a gaze he’ll never forget.
“i don’t think i am either,” is all he can say before he plants a sweet kiss to your awaiting, glossy lips. this moment is worth any teasing that might come from rossi and morgan on monday. he’d go through it a thousand times over if it meant he could share more moments like this.
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cametotheshowinsd · 23 days
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THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT: THE ANTHOLOGY | My Personal Top 5
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