#also cain you happy with yourself for that monologue that no one asked for

[beavforts]

"𝔞𝔰 𝔦𝔣 𝔦 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔫 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔡𝔲𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫. 𝔦 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔦'𝔪 𝔡𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔟𝔶 𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔬 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔰𝔞𝔶 𝔦 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔡𝔦𝔡 𝔞𝔫𝔶𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔦 𝔪𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔟𝔢 𝔥𝔲𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔤𝔞𝔦𝔫, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔢𝔰𝔫'𝔱 𝔪𝔢𝔞𝔫 𝔦 𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔠𝔞𝔫'𝔱 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔦𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔰𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡𝔫'𝔱 𝔱𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔦𝔱. 𝔥𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔩𝔶 𝔦 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔴𝔥𝔶 𝔦'𝔪 𝔴𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥. 𝔦 𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔞 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔢. 𝔰𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔞 𝔥𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔱. 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔞𝔲𝔡𝔞𝔠𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔞𝔩 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔪𝔢. 𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔲𝔫𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔱𝔬 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔞 𝔡𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔶𝔯 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔵 𝔰𝔬 𝔰𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔬𝔬𝔨 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢. 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰 𝔴𝔢 𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔦𝔫 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱.. 𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔩 𝔴𝔢 𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔥𝔬𝔩𝔢. 𝔞𝔫𝔶 𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰? 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔟𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡. 𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔦'𝔪 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔦 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔥𝔬𝔩 𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔱. 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔴𝔥𝔶 𝔦'𝔪 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔢. 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔰 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔢"

So what did happen after happily ever after? 

To put it simply everything changed. The man formerly known as “the Beast” started with his name and I guess with good reason too. In Fabletown he’s known as Cain Jonah Beaufort and if you were curious as to why, look no further.

( 𝓒𝓪𝓲𝓷.  a Hebrew name meaning spear or possessed. Both of which he felt described himself when he moved to Fabletown. Specifically he felt as dangerous as a spear, but not quite himself - as if he were possessed. Once he lost Belle he felt that he lost everything including his sense of self. There are moments in the day that he doesn’t even recognize himself or feels that he’s in some dream watching someone move his hands and his legs.

( 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓱. a Hebrew name meaning dove. There is a lot of irony as the last thing he feels is peace and is under no impression that he brings peace to those around him. The meaning he was more interested in was the sailor’s nickname for bad luck. Of course it went both ways. He felt that there was some bad luck on his part that he had to move and watch his life change, but a smaller part wonders if it’s less about the circumstance and more about him or that he deserves it for everything he’s done.

( 𝓑𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽. a French surname meaning “beautiful” and “strong place, fortress”. This was the one piece of himself that he kept from the Homeland and was possibly the only thing he was proud of or felt that he emulated. He felt that his physical appearance was the one thing he had for his advantage in Fabletown. The second part was more of a reminder that he once was strong like a fortress and wants to get back to his own self or at least the version of himself he was when he was with Belle.

I know you’re thinking. “but that doesn’t sooooooound like the Beast.” Listen it all checks out. Here’s his birthday and character traits and you can compare for yourself.

Cain and The Beast share the same birthday of October 31, 1981 making him 37 years old and a 𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸. His sun sign isn’t surprising to anyone. While he can be 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓉𝑒 and 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈, he has an easier time fitting the negative stereotypes of scorpios. He’s more known to be 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓿𝓮, 𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓭, and 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓯𝓾𝓵 above all else. 

Yeah, it’s no wonder he’s been harboring so much anger and negative energy since Belle left. Just how much did our prince fall? Well since you asked..

Heading Gaston’s words, he vowed that if he were going to be painted as a beast, then he was going to show them a 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓽. In Fabletown he didn’t hesitate to align himself with the 𝓿𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓼 and fit in quite easily. To everyone’s surprise, he got a job working at 𝓦𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓭 as a 𝓭𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻 by night and a 𝓶𝓸𝓭𝓮𝓵 by day. Having never worked a day in his life, it was even stranger to hear that he hasn’t quit yet. The reason he’s kept these jobs is simple. It’s a consistent source of validation that his ego especially needs and although he would never admit it, it’s nice to feel wanted. Having people’s eyes on him at Wonderland is a different feeling than it was in the Homeland. Back there he was only seen as a monster that held a woman in his castle against her own will. Here, in Fabletown, he almost feels appreciated... even if both parties are under the influence of alcohol and other drugs.

I know, how sad! Don’t you worry, young one. He’s more motivated than ever. Just look for yourself.

As silly as it sounds, he main motivation is to win Belle back because he thinks that is the solution to all his problems. With his logic, that would make everything go back to the way it was before they moved to Fabletown. Which was possibly the only time he recalls being truly happy 

Once he realizes that isn’t the answer, it’ll change to focus on proving himself to anyone that will listen and also himself. He currently doesn’t think he’s capable of much else right now and at some point he’ll hopefully prove himself wrong by getting out of his current mindset and pushing himself outside of his comfort zone.

All of his current motivations are centered around regaining control over his life and getting his self esteem back. It’s less about the nostalgia and more about feeling of being untouchable again. Which is what he intends to do. 

What? Did I forget something? Oh you want the tea. My God, Cain was right you are needy, but very well. Sip away.

Eventually (when he gets past this hurt phase and drug abuse) he’ll realize that he can be the person he wants to be without Belle or anyone really. Finding his autonomy would be the first step in his “recovery” which would ideally lessen his drug usage as well and maybe he wouldn’t overcompensate at the gym anymore either. It’s amazing what the fear of getting a beer gut will do to someone.

He would also find another outlet for his aggression (probably not something creative like art, but we’ll see if that’s actually his style) and once that inner peace is restored it would help him switch sides since he would cease to do things out of spite.

He’ll realize his mistakes and (finally) grow as a person. Even though the original version of him that he wants to go back to was somewhat of an achillean, the final stage of his “recovery” would be to recognize he isn’t invincible and be able to sit with that thought. It’s a dark rabbit hole Cain doesn’t quite let himself go down yet

To avoid getting hurt his general relationships (if any) at the moment are quite superficial and even then he’s still pretty distant. Part of that is because he’s afraid of what other people will see when he lets them in and the other part is that they’ll leave him as a result. He’d never admit it but he secretly wants someone to love him and accept him as is.

All in all, he’s generally an asshole to most people he encounters to drive them away so they don’t even have a chance to get to know him before leaving. This also benefits him as it’s his way of making everyone as miserable as he feels thinking it will help fill the void he feels (which it does not)

I hope that satisfied your needs, but since I’m feeling generous today I’ve included his interview post Exodus. Enjoy!

INTERVIEW WITH CAIN AKA THE BEAST.

ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔼𝕩𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕤?

Cain shrugs. It was the first time he’s really given the question much thought. “It was leave or die. So I guess it was an inconvenience more than anything,” he responds after a moment. Comparing his life in Fabletown with his old one doesn’t do him much good. He can see the similarities especially with the isolation and for a moment he wonders if anything’s really changed since he left. “How am I supposed to feel about it? Excited? Scared? Fables were disappearing so I wasn’t planning on staying there.”

𝕎𝕒𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕕 𝕒𝕕𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝔽𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕠𝕨𝕟? 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕?

“No. It was pretty similar,” he replies without entertaining other thoughts. His answer wasn’t a lie either. He believes he acts pretty much the same in both worlds. “The only thing that changed was my employment which I thought I’d never do.” It’s the second part of the question that makes him hesitate. A flood of memories suddenly wash over him to remind him of a simpler time, one when he thought he was genuinely happy, and had everything he ever wanted. Then as quickly as it came, he forces himself to come back to reality and a lie immediately escapes his lips, “no. I don’t miss it.”

𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝔽𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕠𝕣 ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕐𝕠𝕣𝕜?

It suddenly felt as if Cain were in Fabletown for the first time again. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t quite remember the name of any place - or perhaps he just never paid attention. It felt that he fell into the same routine of going to work, getting drunk or high, going home, and repeating. After a while a name comes to mind and he lets out a chuckle in the irony. “I hate to admit it, but it’s probably Gaston’s Tavern. There’s not a lot going on in his head, but he knows how to make a proper drink.”

ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕔? 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕚𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕓𝕖 𝕓𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕕, 𝕣𝕖𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕, 𝕠𝕣 𝕟𝕖𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣?

Much to his dismay, he’s engulfed in more memories.This time he’s forced to remember turning away the fairy that ended up changing his life. He can feel his anger sink into his stomach and his fist clench momentarily. He releases the pressure as he considers the question what if I had let her stay? A small part of him believes nothing would have happened, but another part knew she sought him out and would have casted her spell on him anyway. After taking a deep breath, he answers the question that was actually asked. “Magic should be heavily regulated. On the other hand, unsolicited magic should be banned. If we can have laws on consent, it should apply to magic as well.”

𝕎𝕙𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 ℝ𝕖𝕕 ℝ𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℍ𝕠𝕠𝕕?

“Who?” He immediately asks. He was never good with names or so he wants people to believe. Of course he remembered her. After a brief pause, he continues speaking,”if she’s careless enough to wander through the woods by herself without even glancing around to see what’s there, she’s careless enough to get murdered.” To his surprise he remembered her story better than he thought or at least remembered the version he rewrote for himself. “Anyone really could have done it. She didn’t seem all that bright or attentive. It was almost like she asked for it.”

#was i gonna do an actual graphic for the intro? yes #but this pic is literally cain in a pic sooooo #also cain you happy with yourself for that monologue that no one asked for #hi this is my self destructive son #poison:intro #( in my city i'm a young god | about.

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Daybreak Academy: Chapter 19

A Long Spoon

Summary: In which Aced joins in on karaoke night. Word Count: 1,439 First | Previous | Next ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

Aced wasn't an idiot; he knew he had been placed in the proverbial dog house for the past month. He and Ira refused to look each other in the eye. Invi would just barely look at him, her scrutinizing eye glaring at him for another screw up. Gula and Ava seemed to have forgiven him- but there was still the fear of him lashing out again. They didn't say it, but he could feel it.

The only witness who seemed to have completely forgave and forgotten what Aced had done was Ephemer. But even then, Aced could still feel the boy's discomfort when Aced raised his voice. And he tried really hard not to; he could face a lifetime of rejection, as long as it didn't come from a kid he liked. Unfortunately, Ephemer was the only kid Aced truly liked- even more so than the students of Aced's own house. It was awful, and pathetic, but it didn't change the situation any.

This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't had lost his temper. He had gone to tell his house not to interrupt the Unicornis debates, and yet some smart aleck did anyway. In all honestly, the stunt had likely been prepared some time in advance. The Moogle that was once operated the school store admitted to having sold several firecrackers to students over the past month or so, and that was when all Aced saw was red. He threw that Moogle out Invi's office, he almost ripped its head off, and when Ira tried to get Aced to cool down, Aced had punched him square in the jaw.

He needed to get out and do something. Anything was better than just sitting here and moping about his own temper problems.

The headmaster looked over at the calendar. March 29. Sunday. This was the week that the Vulpes house was holding their open mic night. Wearily, he then turned his head to the nearest clock. He had enough time to make it. Would Ava even be at the auditorium? The special activities each house had was typically all student lead- the headmasters themselves had little to do with it. Maybe he could convince a student to come with him, like Ephemer, or one of Ephemer's friends.

Who was Ephemer even friends with now anyway?

Aced buried his face in his hands and groaned. He really needed to take a page out of Ephemer's book and try to make friends at the drop of a hat. Maybe he wouldn't feel so alone if he did. How many friends did he have outside of the other headmasters and Ephemer? None, that's how many.

“I really need to get out of this office.” Aced grumbled to himself. And with that, he forced himself up off his chair and started to head out the door.

A part of him felt like he was sleepwalking as he headed to the auditorium. This month had honestly been so much of a blur; being under a scrutinized eye tended to do that, he believed. His mind didn't even quite register when he entered the auditorium and sat down on one of the plush seats. Aced dimly looked around the room as some last minute preparations were made; students adjusting the lights, another was making sure the microphone was properly connected, and a few others were eagerly waiting to be the first to show off their various acts of the night.

“Well, hello there stranger.” a kind voice said to Aced, causing him to jump a little in surprise. He looked up to see the school's music director. April, was it? April Tremaine. She was older than him, but was about Ava's height. Small, thin, and looking like she could snap in two if hugged the wrong way- that was April Tremaine.

“Good evening Ms. Tremaine.” Aced greeted, sounding far more worn out than he anticipated. “Do you mind if I sit in on open mic night?”

“Not at all!” the woman smiled. “Anyone's allowed to go up there if they feel like it- even us teachers.”

Something in Aced ignited with a miniscule hope.

“Can I?” he immediately asked. April raised a neatly manicured eyebrow in -what appeared to be- amusement.

“Of course!” she agreed, grinning at him. “I'm MC-ing tonight, so I'll pencil you in.”

“Thanks you Ms. Tremaine.”

“Not a problem, honey.” came the genuine reply. Aced smiled at her. He didn't know much about the music director, baring the fact that she had also attended Daybreak Academy back in the day. If memory served, she also had a child attending the school now. But he couldn't remember if it was a boy or a girl, or even what their name was.

Aced gave a sigh as the first act started to go on stage. He tried to relax, trying to understand these kids with voices not as great as they thought, but there was just something nagging at him. Just as the thought came to him, Tremaine was announcing for him to come up on stage. The defeated bear made his way up to the stage and took his place at the microphone.

These kids aren't even going to know this song… he bitterly thought to himself. But then again, the song wasn't exactly from his generation either. Aced gave Tremaine a small nod, signaling that he was ready. She then nodded back, giving the kids in charge of the sound system the cue to keep the microphone powered on. Half singing, half monologuing, Aced started the song.

“Have a little song, won't take long. Sing it right, once or twice. Oh lordy me, didn't I shake sugaree? Everything I've got is done and pawned...”

As Aced droned the lyrics to the best of his ability, he didn't feel any better. If there was any good side to humiliating himself, it was that no one was really paying attention to him. Would he even be able to recognize the students in his house? What did it matter if they saw him here? Might even teach them some humility.

“Chew my tobacco, spit my juice. We'd raise Cain but it ain't no bit of use. Oh lordy me, didn't I shake sugaree? Everything I've got is done and pawned. Everything I've got is done and pawned. Everything I've got… is done and pawned...”

With the song concluded, Aced took a small step away from the mic. He gave the audience a weak smile before stepping down from the stage. As Aced got off the stage, there were only five students giving moderate applause. Not bad. He didn't expect anyone to clap for him.

He didn't even see the happy thumbs up Tremaine was giving him. Instead, he sat right back down in the seat he was in before. This time, however, there was a girl with carrot-red hair with two low pigtails sitting in the seat next to him. Aced was quick to notice that the girl tensed as he sat down. It bothered him so much that he turned at her, and asked without thinking;

“Tell me- am I really that unapproachable?”

At first, the girl could do nothing but stare at him in shock. It eventually turned into one more conflicted.

“Those who eat with the devil should have a long spoon.” she decided in a rather quiet voice. At Aced's bewildered expression, she clarified; “It's easier to be cautious when you don't know how someone will react. You are… an unpredictable headmaster. You try to keep to yourself, but you are still loyal to your students. The members of Ursus tend to do reckless things because they know you would back them up. N-not in a mean way, or anything! They respect you because you respect them. They trust you because you would fight tooth and nail for them if you could. Even if you were the least approachable headmaster, you still have one of the biggest hearts.”

For a moment, the only response Aced could give was a blank stare.

“Is that really how you feel?”

With a small gulp, the girl nodded.

“What house are you in?”

The girl averted her eyes. “Vulpes.”

“Of course you are.” he sighed. “Ava's house has always been filled with blunt, but kind, kids like you.”

And with that, Aced relaxed a little as the rest of the open mic night went on. Strelitzia, on the other hand, was so confused that she refused to look at anything. Had she been too blunt? Geez, she wouldn't have done that two months ago, that's for sure. But still, what was all that about...?

#daybreak academy #chapter 19 #kingdom hearts fanfiction #Aced #April #Strelitzia #Season 1

[galadrieljones]

gala’s writing tips: Dialogue Edition

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now, so here you go! I’m gonna try to do a series of posts with quasi-abbreviated writing tips, from me to you, on various topics. If you disagree with me on any of my advice, cool! I’m just one teacher, and this is just my perspective. Either way, take what you want and leave the rest <3 And happy writing!!

Advice for...Writing Dialogue!

Forget every awful thing your English teachers have ever told you about the word “said.” “Said” is the ONLY dialogue tag we should ever really be using, with few exceptions. Dialogue tags have taken on too much of the burden these days when it comes to characterizing speech, when they should be near invisible. Especially when used too copiously, flashy dialogue tags can tend to be cumbersome and annoying to read, slowing down your pacing and constantly reminding the reader that they are Reading Dialogue™ when they should just be immersed in the scene. I feel this has a lot to do with the influence of film and television on our writing, and the incessant urging of high school AP Lit teachers that we NEVER EVER REPEAT WORDS EVER. But that’s bullshit. First of all, repetition has a lot of positive functions, and I hate this blanket moratorium on it as if it’s evil. Second of all, fiction is NOT film and television. Keep that in mind forever!! And instead of relying on fancy tags to spice things up and characterize your dialogue, use actions and description to imply your character’s state of mind as they speak.  

When writing dialects, avoid overdoing the phonetic spellings and excessive punctuation. It tends to be cringy, and trust me when I say, you will never capture a dialect perfectly by spelling accents out the way they sound phonetically in your own subjective head. Instead, when writing original fiction, do your best to describe the dialect ahead of time (it’s okay if it’s not 100% perfectly accurate in every way--remember that fiction is not film and it’s not real life--lots more goes into writing a compelling character than just their dialect) and just type the words the characters are saying, as they’re normally spelled. If you’re writing fanfiction, keep in mind that your reader already knows how your character’s voice sounds, so there’s no need to (literally) spell it out for them. Remember that CADENCE (tempo and rhythm of speech) and DICTION (word choice) are much more important in terms of characterizing a dialect and a speaker than simple phonetic spellings in the language. 

When writing dialogue in scenes, don’t forget to address BODIES and ENVIRONMENT. The first thing you really want to avoid is “Floating Head Syndrome,” ie: speaking characters floating in a vacuum who do not have bodies. A good way to solve this is to give your characters something specific to do while talking, which addresses the body and also allows characters to manipulate and/or move through the setting, creating opportunities for description. Mixing action with description of setting in scenes with dialogue will also help you pace your dialogue more effectively, as I know pacing is one of the hardest things to figure out and improve when writing dialogue.

When writing scenes of dialogue, avoid excessive interiority between exchanges. Interior monologue is definitely OKAY, but you don’t want it to be outright replacing writing that focuses on setting and action. Spoken dialogue in conjunction with only or too much inner-monologue will result in Floating Head Syndrome. 

You want your dialogue to move FAST, usually, and the way to make your dialogue feel fast is through efficient pacing. Excessive description of anything in the middle of a dialogue exchange, including setting, exposition, and inner-monologue, is going to slow down your pacing and make your dialogue feel cumbersome. So will overzealous tags. The best way to practice and improve your pacing is honestly just to READ A LOT. Don’t take pacing cues from film and television. Read the masters and read them a lot. A few really great writers to study for pacing in dialogue are Ernest Hemingway, Raymond Carver, Ann Beattie, Raymond Chandler, and James M. Cain. Seriously, read Cain’s crime novel Double Indemnity. You’ve never seen dialogue so thick with tension and so beautifully paced.

Next: How to make your dialogue sound realistic? This is a big question. First of all, it’s best to try and remember that in fiction, dialogue doesn’t have to be “realistic.” Dialogue serves all sorts of purposes aside from simply communicating information, and the way that it sounds or appears on the page can often be a function of the writer’s style as well as characterization of the speaking character. Fiction writing is not method acting. In fiction, our main medium is LANGUAGE, not pictures and sounds, and it’s actually really important to remember this. With language, we can simulate and even mix all five senses. We can create impressionistic images and layer in symbolic or ambiguous meaning as well. There are no rules that say dialogue must be realistic. 

Continued: Instead of focusing on making your dialogue “realistic,” focus making sure each speaking character has their own AGENDA, ie: characters hear what they want to hear and will often respond accordingly. THIS is how real people talk--past each other. Never have two characters answer one another in a repetitive and direct fashion. The least realistic thing ever is the idea that when two people are talking, the conversation at hand is the ONLY thing they’re focused on. A really good exercise for practicing agenda is to write a scene in which two characters are discussing something serious, but only indirectly, ie: they can never overtly refer to or announce the exact thing they’re discussing. Think about it like: The conversation they’re having is right here, but the thing they’re talking about is “over there.” It’s in the room, but it’s not on the table. A really good short story for studying how this can be done well is Ernest Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants.” No, I’m not telling you to write like Ernest Hemingway, but he writes agenda better than any other writer out there.

Moving on: When starting a scene, skip the small talk. When two characters meet up at the bar, it’s not necessary to go through the whole “Hey, how are you?” “I’m fine, how are you?” “Just super. The weather’s been nice.” “I agree.” This is boring. It’s implied. It’s not doing any work. So skip it. Again, fiction is not real life. If you sit and listen to an irl conversation between two people sitting at the next table at Starbucks, you will find yourself bored as hell in about two minutes. That’s because irl, there’s so much filler, and in fiction, we get to cut it out. Because it’s boring. This is just another reflection of how dialogue does NOT have to be “realistic.” Because instead, you can toss off the small talk in a single sentence of description and then get straight to the point: They met at the bar. Frank ordered a gin gimlet while Leonard ordered a vodka soda. After a little small talk, Frank cleared his throat and finally asked the big question. “Are you sleeping with my wife?” he said. Here, we have a little writing to set the scene and establish the setting and context, and then we get right to the tension. 

That said, in conclusion: TENSION is the most important factor to consider when writing a scene of dialogue. Tension can come in all forms. It can be romantic, menacing, ominous, sexual, etc. But there must be something rubbing against the grain, otherwise, your reader is going to get bored. Tension killers include all of the above: small talk, too much exposition (ie: establishing plot points and background context), characters talking to one another in a direct and one-dimensional manner, pacing that is too fast (not enough attention to setting and/or bodies), pacing that is too slow (clunky dialogue tags and too much inner-monologue/description between each dialogue exchange). 

To incite tension, make sure you are always aware of a couple different things: 1.) What is at stake in the scene? ie: What has the potential to be lost and/or gained? It can be small or big, but there must be something at stake; 2.) What do your characters want, and what is keeping them from getting the thing they want?; 3.) Is the passage of time, OR the environment playing a role at all, in terms of adding tension or conflict to the scene?; 4.) What is the ultimate purpose of this scene in the overall text, and how can you deepen that purpose by addressing BOTH plot and character? 

I hope this helps in any way!! As always, if you ever have a writing question, drop me an ask. I have been writing and teaching writing to many different skill levels for a long time, and ll do my best!! <3 -gala

#on writing #writing tips #writing advice #writing dialogue #dialogue writing #long text post