#also for some reason it doesnt show up w the keep reading cut on mobile so im so so so sorry if you have to scroll past this long ass post

[mar-bluu]

How do you reckon Elmer and Buttons would react if Lucy got pregnant? Can just imagine how excited Elmer'd be, calling everyone like "im gonna be a grandad!"

Akdksoske ohmygosh okay!!! (This is gonna be my long, and incomprehensible ramblings, sorry!!)

So! One day Elmer's sitting in the kitchen eating his breakfast when Lucy walks in and just throws up right in front of him. Elmer's like "oh okay that's nice, you do that, yeah right in front of my toast, okay" and Lucy just walks out and leaves him to clean it up. So Elmer finishes up his toast and cleans up Lucy's mess when Buttons walks in. Elmer's like "Lucy threw up just before but i cleaned it up, so be careful, the floor might be wet." And Buttons goes "huh, she threw up yesterday as well." So they're a little concerned but chalk it up to her probably eating grass. The next day, however, when she throws up again, they're like "okay something might be wrong, let's take her to the vet" so they bundle her up in the car and drive down to the vets, Elmer's quietly freaking out because all he can think of is the absolute worst, and Buttons is trying to keep him calm, saying that its probably nothing as he tries to stay calm as well.

They pull up and head inside. As theyre sitting in the waiting room, Lucy throws up again, so the lady at the desk is like "okay, we should probably look at that like, now." So Lucy's brought into a side room and Buttons explains that she's been off her food and vomiting for the last few days. So the vet's like "is she spayed?" And Elmer and Buttons look at each other like "is she??" So they say that they're unsure and the vet's like "okay, well we're gonna do an ultrasound real quick" Lucy's whisked off to the back room for an ultrasound and now, Elmer's f r e a k i n g out. "Buttons, she could've eaten something really bad! What if she's been poisoned? Did we remember to give her her heartworm tablets? Did we check her for ticks!?" And Buttons is trying to stay calm and reassure Elmer, and theyre both too busy worrying about Lucy to notice the vet coming back. She opens the door to the two of them panicking, and just sets Lucy down on the examination table, waiting for Elmer and Buttons to notice. Lucy sits on the table with her tail wrapped around her paws and meows loudly. That gets their attention, and the turn to the table, holding each other's hands nervously. "Well," the vet starts "Lucy's gonna be just fine." Elmer and Buttons share a look of relief. "But," they begin to grow nervous again "you might wanna consider kiddie proofing the house, cause Lucy's gonna be a mama"

The two of them are completely silent, staring open mouthed between the vet and their cat, who stares proudly back. "What?" The vet just nods, giving Lucy a scratch behind her ears. "A mother of seven, actually. Or at least thats how many i can see." Buttons squeals excitedly as Elmer tackles him in a hug "we're gonna be grandparents!!" The vet laughs along before stepping them through the pregnancy process. She walks them to the counter and gives them a card to an all-hours house call vet who can help them if they're worried about or during birth. They thank the vet and bring Lucy home.

The second they got inside Elmer's on the phone to everyone telling them the good news as Buttons lectures Lucy about running off and getting pregnant. Everyone's so happy for them (especially Davey who's a big cat person, though he doesn't often show it and Mush who comes over as soon as possible with extra cat food and bedding) and Buttons and Elmer spend 110% of their attention on Lucy and making sure she's comfortable ("pregnant cats are called queens, Buttons, we should treat her like one!" "She has three beds stacked on top of each other and enough food to last her a life time, i dont think she needs another cat-box" "fine, but we need to get her a "world's best mum" cat bowl!")

Anyway! One morning at about 2:40 am Elmer wakes up to Buttons shaking his shoulder. "It's happening!" "What?" "It's happening!!" "Wha- oh, oh!" He springs out of bed as Buttons dials the emergency vet. Elmer sprints through the house, finding Lucy huddled in a corner, washing her fur. Elmer kept his distance, not wanting to annoy her, as he tried to keep his excitement quiet. Not too long after that the emergency vet arrived, following Buttons into the room. He said there wasnt a lot he can do, as Lucy seemed to be handling it very well, so they sat there and talked about Lucy, if this was her first litter, how well she'd been dealing with the pregnancy etc. They waited there for an hour and a bit, cooing over pictures of the vet's own kittens, before Lucy gave birth to the last of her kittens. The vet monitored Lucy for another half hour or so before heading off, ("make sure to take them to the vets within a week or two for a wellness check") and Elmer and Buttons move in closer for a look at the newest additions to their family. They count the kittens, finding another 2 the vet missed, and excitedly snap pictures and send them to their friends. As they continue to melt over the kittens, they notice that while a lot of them have the same black and white colourings of their mother, a few of them were a pretty orange, that looked suspiciously like the ginger cat who lived down the street. Buttons made a mental note to have a stern talking to with him the next time they saw him.

Already Elmer's thinking of names for the kitties, sending options to the groupchat (only Race is awake and his suggestions include Professor Cheeseball and Sir Meatball Daggertooth, which he reads out to Lucy who doesn't look too pleased with them) Buttons had already picked a name for one, Tigger, which they settled on giving to the biggest ginger fluffball. They settled on Gizmo for the kitty that looked like a little clone of his mum, then waited for the others to wake up and help (Race is officially banned from naming anything after suggesting Moldy Stink Rat) Elmer and Buttons sat on the couch and watched Lucy with her new babies, wrapped in each others arms, as they fall asleep listening to Lucy meow softly to her kittens.

After about three months, the kittens were all named (Tigger, Gizmo, Oreo, Luna, Willow, Sunny, Marmalade, Cedar, and after lots and lots and lots of pestering from his human counterpart, the last one was named Jack) and had their appropriate vet work done. Davey appointed himself as godfather and was over any time he could ("where are my babies? I want to see my babies!" *scoops up Gizmo* "And how's mama Lucy going?") Mush and Blink would come and visit them frequently too, always bringing little toys and things for the kittens to play with. Cedar had taken a real shine to Mush and Blink, and would always go running towards them whenever he heard their voices. (Elmer and Buttons had a feeling of who they wanted to give Cedar to when the time came) Jack couldn't come over as frequently as the others but would constantly text Elmer and Buttons for updates on Cat-Jack, and had a picture of his kitty twin in his wallet and would show it off proudly to anyone who asked.

Unfortunately come month 4, Buttons and Elmer had to make the tough decision of giving away their precious babies. Lucy was just as upset as the two of them, but they couldn't keep looking after all of them, they'd already lost a pair of shoes, two pillows and several cups and glasses. So they needed to make sure the kitties went to the best of homes. Naturally Davey offered to take two (Oreo and Marmalade), Katherine took Willow, Barney adopted Luna, and Albert got Sunny. Elmer and Buttons asked Blink and Mush if they wanted to take Cedar, but they were slightly hesitant as they didnt want him to be overwhelmed by all the other animals (though they seriously had to restrain themselves from accepting right away) So Elmer and Buttons held onto him (tho they had a feeling that in a month or so he'd be living on the farm) Jack obviously adopted mini him, and Gizmo and Tigger stayed with Buttons and Elmer

Every month or so, they would all organize a meet up together, usually at Buttons' and Elmer's house so Lucy could see her babies again, and have kitty hangouts. Lucy, Elmer and Buttons miss the other kittens a lot, but they're happy knowing that they're with good families and good homes :)

Also Lucy definitely got spayed after bc they couldn't deal w the heartbreak of giving away kittens again, and also to help keep kitties off the streets, and the cat from down the road got a very stern talking to

#asks! #AHHHHH #IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG WINDED AND PROBABLY DOESNT MAKE SENSE #if ive said a sentence that doesnt english well please ask for clarification not even i know what i say sometimes #anyway!! I HECCIN LOVE CATS SO SO SO MUCH #highkey helped me w shit today #so thanks so much for that :)) #belmerttons #buttons davenport #elmer kasprzak #newsies #kitty!! #jae writes kinda #hc fuel #cutesiewoojin #:))) #also for some reason it doesnt show up w the keep reading cut on mobile so im so so so sorry if you have to scroll past this long ass post

[gontagokuhara]

fuck it i just got wifi (this is in reference to my "words fail reads like a suicide note" post that i cant link bc mobile)

also ya this is based entirely on the one (1) time i hammered out my own note so. if its inaccurate w/e thats why. and im gonna skip around w the lyrics some bc i dont have a cut either and i dont wanna totally spam ur dashes

anyways the first lines "i never meant to make it such a mess / i never meant for it to go this far / so i just stand here sorry / searching for something to say" is obviously like. acknowledging how hes a screw up and messes things up which is a key theme in notes, as well as a loss for words (which. song title. obviously) which is more common than u'd might think (at least it was for me). i had no idea what to say

"i never had the perfect girl who somehow could see the good part of me / i never had the dad who stuck it out / no corny jokes or baseball gloves / no mom who just was there cause mom was all she had to be" ignoring the context of the show, this just reads like him mourning his lack of the above 'perfect' girl/dad/mom.

"thats not a worthy explanation / i know there is none / nothing can make sense of all these things ive done" this is like his (or rather lack of) reasoning for what hes going to do, or perhaps the things hes done leading up to writing the note (again, consider the song without the context of the rest of the musical)

"words fail / there is nothing i can say" because how is he to justify what hes going to do? even if hes at this point, hes still hesitating, still considering the consequences; hes at a loss for how to end his interaction with the world, even though thats his endgoal (and who can blame him — its not easy trying to find the the best last words)

"no id rather pretend im something better than these broken parts / pretend im something other than this mess that i am / cause then i dont have to look at it / and no one gets to look at it / no, no one can really see" a lot of my note was...very focused on my own shortcomings and essentially what made me bad, and that same sentiment is very present here.

its obvious evan dislikes himself immensely. he sees himself as being composed of broken pieces, that hes a disaster just waiting to go off. and hes so hyperaware of this, and so afraid of people seeing him for what he thinks he really is. and if he does this, if he takes himself out of the narrative completely, no one can 'really see' him anymore (himself included. he doesnt want to have to live with himself, either)

"cause ive learned to slam on the break / before i even turn the key / before i make the mistake / before i lead with the worst of me" he takes himself out of situations that can potentially damage him before they have a chance to pan out. killing himself would be damage control; keeping himself from making a mistake that 'exposes' who he really is to the whole world

"what if everyone saw? / what if everyone knew? / would they like what they saw / or would they hate it too?" this fear of having his brokenness on display is here again, which is ironic considering (disregarding the actual context of the song and instead focusing on the note impression) if he were to kill himself, it would show how 'broken' and 'messed up' he was.

"all i ever do is run / so how can i step into the sun?" people consider suicide (whether rightly or not) a way of running from ones problems. we know evan is something of a coward in how hes shown himself to run from his issues, and killing himself would be a final act displaying this. the sun in this instance would be something akin to recovery; and so, if hes such a coward, someone who just runs from his problems and doesnt face them, how can he believe that he'll ever recover? what other option does he have except for this?

im sure this is very jumbled and long but tldr so much of evans dialogue in song can be read as a suicide note, with words fail having the ability to be read as a letter verbatim that has an end result of suicide.

#im. very intrigued by this #suicide / #deh #hcs #ig #dear evan hansen #evan hansen #words fail #gotta love tag whoring #long post

[honeyjaehwan]

I was tagged by the sweet and kind @jaellyhwan to do a fun ask game which seems fun! one question asked me why i loved jaehwan though and that got too long so this is under the cut lol!

What are your five favorite songs from your bias group? (in no order): b.o.d.y, say u say me, uuuuu, ottokaji, and fantasy

What are your five favorite songs (kpop) not from your bias group? (in no order, and keeping in mind that 1. i dont rly listen to kpop at all lol it’s not rly my style and 2. liking music doesnt equate to liking the singer): untitled 2014 by gd, you know by yugyeom, hollup by bobby, the last by agust d, holic by def soul

What are your five favourite non-kpop songs? (in no order lol): oh comely by nmh, crab orchard by songs: ohia, darkness between the fireflies by mason jennings, eugene by sufjan stevens, & holland 1945 by nmh

Who is your bias and why do you like them? (Go crazy!) ok i’m really going to go crazy, this is gna be a paean! i fell in love w jaehwan bc of his aesthetics so first off i need to say that he is the most handsome, beautiful person i’ve ever seen. i love his nose (before and after the surgery) and his eyes are perfect and i love his skin esp when it’s make-up free, and his hair is so soft and pretty, and his jawline is nice but i rly love when he looks down and its soft. i also love his body like ik he has a tumultuous relationship with it but i love it as long as he loves it like no exercise or lack thereof could change how much i appreciate it. his journey to self-love is also so redoubtable like im so proud of his growth and self confidence and i hope he did it for himself!! okay though his personality is also a huge part of why i love him, he’s so unbelievably funny and it’s a genuine, on the spot kind of humor that works on building relationships and forming bonds rather than being idk derivative or virulent like its a salubrious kind of humor and i appreciate it so much. he loves to smile and he has a gorgeous smile and most importantly he wants other ppl to smile and i love him for it. he’s also so full of love like he loves attention and affection and being wanted and making sure others are wanted, he has such a genuine capacity for appreciation and i love him for it. he’s also unbelievably talented like he’s out here doing musicals and hectic schedules and he’s so successful and i couldn’t be prouder, not only is his talent very latent but he works so hard and accomplishes so much im in awe. i also have never been attracted to someone who lacks drive so obviously jaehwan is a motivated person and i love him for it, he has plans to succeed and do well and he follows through god bless him for it. also i adore his being gregarious like he makes friends so easily and maintains relationships so well and fosters healthy bonds and is very willing to tell people he loves them i adore it, it’s a model for relationships god bless him. im going to wrap this up bc i cant stop writing but i just wanted to add some small (mostly insipid) things i like: i love when he purses his lips and his dimples show, i love his eye smile, i love when he takes selfies from low angles to show his soft jawline, i love when hes tired and his voice is raspy, i love when his humor is performative and he’s the first to laugh at his own jokes, i love when he holds his hands together in prayer/thanks to fans, i love when he wears hoodies and sweatpants, i love when he wears glasses, i love when he pouts, i love when he wears his hair up showing his forehead, i love when he dances and its all wiggly and not smooth, i love when he genuinely listens to what others are saying, i love all of 2012-2013, nd i love that he’s not afraid to look stupid!!!! god i need to stop myself i could go on, message me if u ever want to talk about these things and more

What do you usually wear for winter/autumn/spring/summer? What’s your “style”? I only wear earth tones because i used to be a hipster and that’s just where i’m at. i like black skinny pants and a loose top idk my style is rly simple? i dress up sometimes but mostly college kicks my butt and i look just ok!

For your bias group, what was your favourite hair style/era for each member? for jaehwan- it’s all of 2013 (that honey color) OR during fantasy when he flipped it up. for hakyeon- it’s the closer when his forehead peaked through! for ravi- it’s absolutely bomb oml that red is killer he looked eternally good for bomb. for hyuk- honestly it’s that rock ur body blonde i loved it. for hb- EASILY it’s 2012 when he had it long and wore it in ponytails with wisps out in the front that was such a look god i love 2012-2013 for many reasons. for leo- during lr when he did that wavy middle part!!

How did you ““discover”“ kpop and how did you discover vixx? on august 25th 2016 a picture came on my dash (my dashboard was 1000% kpop free it was a miracle it was there) of jaehwan from august 20th, that iconic pic of him in the pale pink shirt handing out soda. at that point i was immediately into vixx. i dnt rly follow any other groups so thats that! my friend tess helped me learn all of vixx’s names she made me a powerpoint bless her heart!

What does your phone case look like? it’s clear bc my phone is rose gold and i love seeing the pink!!

Do you normally browse tumblr on your phone or on pc? mobile!! 

How are you doing? Got any plans for the day/night? i am well thank you!! i need to study and write a part of my thesis today but other than that i’m free to sit in the sun a little bit and read a little bit (i’m reading fanny burney’s evelina it’s very pretty!) i have no plans bc i have work tmm morning lol!!!

#THANK U FOR TAGGING ME im so sorry this got out of hand oml