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luci-cunt · 3 years

Note

im about to go to sleep but when i awaken i hope to find an essay from you on how i get into hermitcraft

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (just got home from work and I have a new puppy so I will be dead for the next week but here's this very quick overview bc I love you and also Hermitcraft)

SO--YOU WANNA FALL DEEPER DOWN THE MCYT HOLE BC DSMP WASN'T CONVOLUTED ENOUGH???? TIRED OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE LORE AND HARD-TO-FOLLOW PLOTLINES FILLED WITH ANGST AND TRAUMA??? WANT SOMETHING A BIT MORE LAID BACK????

OH BOY DO I HAVE THE ANSWER FOR YOU!!!

First of all: Hermitcraft is essentially a series where a bunch of super talented and pretty longstanding mcyt-ers play on a single minecraft server for a period of a "season" and build absolutely fucking insane bases and vibe together. It's all very structured and organized so on every member's channel u'll find playlists for each season.

(oh and by longstanding mcyt-ers I mean literal pioneers in the mcyt community, people who have redstone inventions named after them bc they've been around longer than the redstone itself--etc)

The server is super chill!!! Everyone is very nice and they all get along super well and coordinate things on a discord server so that everyone's got all the info and they also prioritize building over basically everything--which means like, fire tic is off (meaning fire cannot spread), you do not steal anythign unless you will pay it back at least like twice over (once Grian accidentally killed ppl so he grinded them out full enchanted netherite armor/tools + some blocks and this is literally just like, what everyone does)

But!!!! besides all that!!!! where do you start *watching*!!!!

There are something like,,, 30 members on teh HC server??? more??? I cannot remember. Every one of them posts Hermitcraft episodes to their youtube channels, but there's also a HC recap youtube channel dedicated to weekly recaps of all hermit activity which you can find here!!

The thing about HC is that everytime there's a new update to MC, or even just the server starts to get stale--they throw out the world and start a new, completely empty one from scratch and thus is a new "season." Currently we're only a few episodes into the 8th season!

I watch a very limited scope of HC but--here are my limited reccomendations

GRIANNNNNNNN: because of course, we love grian, we stan grian, he has cats--what more could you ask for? Yes you've seen him gracing your screen in MCC and killing it, and you've also most likely seen him in fanart comparing him to Philza bc both are badass MC players with ✨wings✨he's chaotic and super creative and very kind! he also builds lots of mega builds and they are *incredible.* You're gonna wanna watch him if you want some good, lighthearted gremlin content.

Goodtimeswithscar: my BELOVED!!! This man is like, chaos but make it absolutely harmless. He is Dr. Doofenshmurtz levels of unfunctioning in the best ways possible. Mans tries so hard to be a villain and he just akjsd;lfja;sldfkj cannot pull it off and I adore him so much for it. Also he's got a new vibe every season--last season he was a wizard who lived in a giant snail before moving into a massive mining-construciton-thing??? And this season he has very much Howl's Moving Castle vibes. He also streams on twitch!!! Which I would totally recommend bc he's very chill and fun to listen to. You're gonna wanna watch him if you want a little bit more spice to your episodes--what is that spice exactly? Just watch and you'll see >:))

Some honorable mentions of ppl I don't really watch but love:

Pearlescentmoon: she's a new member to the HC server this season and I love her!!! I've only seen her a bit in Grian and Scar's vids but she took down an entire build just to rotate it like 90 degrees we stan an icon.

Mumbojumbo: a redstone fucking madman--also like--posh?? but in an unoffensive way?? I have no idea this man is so white but also I love him?? that doesn't describe him right just--just watch something of his and you'll understand.

Bdubs: my BELOVED!!! he's just aslkjd;flajsdflk everything, idk man just watch a vid and you'll be in love he's just aslkjdf;lasjkf everything. His starter house is a massive moon with a clock hanging from it it's so pog I love him so much watch his videos

OH AND WHAT'S THAT???? YOU GET HOOKED ON HC CONTENT BUT THINK,,,,,,, 'HM--THERE'S NOT QUITE ENOUGH MURDER IN THIS'???

BRO I"VE GOT THE ANSWER FOR YOU!

(also it's very short--I think there's only like 8 episodes cuz there was only 8 sessions--it's complicated but Grian explains it in the first ep dw)

3rd Life SMP

(everyone has 3 lives--losing the first 2 means nothing, but once you die 3 times you goal becomes to kill every other player on the server. It does not go over like this. Roleplay ensues. Gays are had. What the fuck why does Ren have a scottish accent--why is he dead--MARTYN WHAT--)

You want wholesome gays with a bit of angst but an overall happy ending that will make you cry???

Watch Mr. Gaming and Scott Smajor's POV

(they live in a flower filled valley in little hobbit holes and they are husbands and they are not going to murder people bc that is not what nice people do and--oh my god did you just fucking kill my husband alright murder is ok--)

You want lighthearted, roleplay light hilarity???

Watch Grian and Scar's POV

(there's a llama named pizza, grian is bloodthirsty and not even on his red life, and scar really just would rather steal cookies and scam ppl out of their nice clothes than kill ppl)

You want somethign I can't even really describe but there's royalty involved?? and people dying for one another and very dramatic rp??

WATCH THE RED KING AND HIS HAND BRING UPON THE RED WINTER

(there's not even an explanation I can give here, I love them, they're killing it)

(there are other awesome ppl on the server but that's who I was mostly watching, also--Maj--to get you invested here's some mostly spoiler free cool fanart to hook you and some shitposts that are hilarious and very accurate <3 XDD)

Be warned tho man,,, that last episode--on anyone's POV alk;jsdf;lajsd it's ajlsd;fkjsad;lfkj just

Ok sleep time now, I had to cuddle a needy puppy like, throughout this whole thing and typed most of it with one hand you would not believe how hard it is to find and link this many things with one hand if you do not click on every single link I will know and I will stab you <3

#luci doesn't shut up #hermitcraft #3rd life smp #love thes ebitches #plz watch 3rd life I love it so much and no one else has watched it alsdkjf;lajskdfasdf #maj plz #do this for me #also plz enjoy hermitcraft it's so great #scar's streams are so good #and grian is jsut fantastic #goodnight now

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astrovian · 4 years

Audio

Richard Armitage interview on BBC Radio Northampton for Uncle Vanya (26/10/20)

Full transcript under cut

So he’s won awards for his role as Lucas in Spooks, as the dwarf prince Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit, and earlier this year he had us on the edge of our seats as the lead role in the brilliant Netflix series The Stranger. I love The Stranger. Did you see it? I thought it was absolutely brilliant. He’s brilliant in everything he does, I love Richard Armitage. Such a nice guy as well. Well with the pandemic interrupting it’s sold out West End run, Richard is part of an all-star cast bringing Chekov’s iconic play Uncle Vanya to our cinemas and homes as part of a brand new production. Ahead of today’s show I spoke to Richard about the play, and a bit about what it’s like to be a stage actor in Covid Britain.

---

How you doing?

Very well, thank you. This is an absolute honour to speak to you. Congratulations on a wonderful production.

Thanks! Did you see it?

I did! I did! Um-

Amazing.

-if I describe my morning to you, I woke up with a slight whisky hangover pondering my place in the world, and the first thing I did was open my laptop and watch Uncle Vanya, and *laugh* I have to say it was quite-

Oh, how was Vanya on a hangover? That’s probably like most of the characters in the play have a hangover, don’t they?

*Laugh* Well this is the thing – I found myself thinking ‘this is quite life-affirming’, because I was reflecting how human experience hasn’t really changed that much since 1897, and I just wondered as an actor whether Chekov’s understanding of human feelings – it must appeal to you, hugely.

I think that’s why actors go to Chekov, and actually he wrote so few plays compared to other playwrights that what he did do was really define how we approach character. Really, I mean he worked with Stanislavski, it’s the root of, of Western theatre and, and how we construct characters because he’s focused on the lived experience, rather than the plot so much. So most people kind of say “what’s Chekov about?”, and it’s really hard to describe what it’s about. But it’s about human beings and how they – how they bounce off each other and how they attract and how they repel.

Is it completely mad for me to say that, that watching it, it was my first introduction to the play and my first introduction to Chekov, I, I found myself thinking ‘well, this is almost like Big Brother’. It’s like watching a group of people relate in various ways in a claustrophobic lockdown, getting on each other’s nerves, and digging into old wounds, and then I found myself thinking this is, this is so timely for the, the Covid world we’re living in. Did that strike you?

It’s – uh, I, I guess until we started to experience what lockdown was like, suddenly again the play took on a relevance. I mean the last week of performing, when the, the sort of talk of the virus was, was emerging y’know in, in our world, and y’know I’d been speaking these lines for ten weeks as the doctor talking about a pandemic, and he’s turned to drink and he can’t deal with the trauma of losing patients, and suddenly the relevance was, was very high. But also in lockdown, I suddenly realised ‘now I understand what these characters have been going through’. So the – the chance to come back and, and sort of bring all of that experience into y’know, the re-staging of the play film was, y’know, it was really special to be able to do that.

It was really moving at the beginning, because you see your fabulous co-cast members returning to the theatre in face masks, and it was quite easy to find yourself a bit choked. What it a very emotional reunion?

It was because I was not able to be there. *Laugh* ‘Cause I’d just flown in from New York like with, with literally hours to spare before I had to lockdown for two weeks quarantine. So I couldn’t do that, I – I had to join a read-through on a computer via. a Zoom call, so I felt like I was being held back away from my friends and fellow actors. Which was useful for the doctor, ‘cause when he comes back into that house, that’s sort of what’s been happening to him. But every moment there was something to hang on to in terms of the emotions and, and what we’ve all been through.

The – the dialogue is so brilliantly natural, especially from a, a newbie to this world. And I, I think you describe yourself at the beginning, as Dr. Astrov, as feeling a bit wonky-

Yeah.

-and then we hear Toby Jones’ Uncle Vanya complaining about various people wanging on, and-

*Laugh*

-it’s brilliant, it’s moments that make you giggle, and I just wondered how important you think these linguistic touches are to help the drama engage a new audience?

Well it’s always gonna be a translation because we’re not performing in the original Russian, and y’know, that depends on which playwright decides to tackle it, and we were so lucky with Conor McPherson, ‘cause there’s a little bit of the Irish kind of glint in his eye that comes through that dialogue um, so these, these little touches make it feel like we’re just – it’s just us, it’s not y’know, characters a hundred years ago in a stuffy drawing room. These are, these are – it’s us y’know. We’re still the same, and we’re still dealing with the same problems, um weirdly within the state of – within the space of three months those same problems seem to be sort of really prominent, and rather than watching people dealing with a pandemic in a collapsing environment and thinking ‘Oh, that was an interesting history lesson’, it feels like ‘Oh, this is now, these are still things that we are having to, having to navigate right now’.

Whilst I’ve – I’ve read that you don’t necessarily identify as purely a, a method actor, you have talked in the past about how deeply you try to embody the characters you play, and I just wondered how difficult it was to come back after the break and once again put on this skin of the frequently despairing Dr. Astrov?

Um, I came back with, *laugh*, with a taste for vodka that I’d-

*laugh*

-I’d maintained from doing the play, um I came back with no haircut, so y’know, I was – I was sort of *laugh*, I hadn’t put him down really to be honest. I’d, I’d thought about him a lot, and during the course of my research I’d found this diary of a doctor who had worked through his life and through various epidemics, and was really at the end of his tether as to what the point of medicine, and uh, I used a lot of his references to, to sort of try to understand what maybe our NHS workers were going through, and still are going through. Y’know, how do you – how do you go home at night after seeing people in such, y’know, such extreme circumstances without a cure. Y’know, that’s something that we find very difficult to get our heads around because there’s always a pill for something, there’s always a remedy. And these Russians were – were dealing with tuberculosis, for which there was no cure, and typhoid and, and having to, to y’know, having to deal with the fact that most of the time they were death sentences, and we – we have lost that, y’know, we – we have quite luxurious existences compared to them. So to, to be living with something which people don’t have answers has, has really shaken us up I think, and that’s contained in the play.

At the end of the production the matriarch, uh, Anna Calder-Marshall’s Nana, blows out the candles that light the stage and it, it felt to me as though she wasn’t only putting the – the play to bed, she was almost putting theatre life to bed in some way until this bleak winter is over. I just wonder how sad it is for you to see the way the arts are suffering in this pandemic.

It is really, really sad, and I – I, y’know, I’ve been able to carry on doing various kinds of work, but I, I know that there are a huge amount of people out there who work in those theatre buildings that only work in theatre, that can’t go back to work right now. But at the same time, I’m – I’m an optimist, and so I look towards Sonya’s speech about work, and we will endure this and we will come back. Y’know, it might be the middle of next summer, who knows, but I think when we’re – we’re all waiting to have those dust cloths pulled off us, y’know. Um, and we will see diamonds in sky and it, it will come back to us. But in the meantime we’ve just gotta find a way to survive this period, and most people that work in the arts do have ways of doing that, because there are periods of time where you find yourself not working and you have to be very resourceful. And I just hope people can hang on and they’ll – they’ll return when we all do.

Richard Armitage, I – I’m not surprised the run was sold out, Uncle Vanya, and my first experience with the play, my first experience with Chekov. It was absolutely brilliant and I loved every minute of it. I’m, I’m going to get my – my wife’s gonna watch it this weekend, and uh – I hope everyone takes the time to experience it, and just thank you so much for being on the program.

Thank you for having me. And just let me say that it’s the 27th of October and thereabouts for various screenings in your cinema, and going to the cinema is not a terrifying experience, I’ve done it. It’s – if you play by the rules and wear a mask, it’s, it’s actually like a little bit of normality.

Perhaps even sneak in a vodka *Laugh*

*Laugh* Absolutely.

Thank you, Richard.

Thank you.

---

Ah, Richard Armitage, such a legend, lovely guy to speak to. And I’d really recommend it, I’d, I’d heard of Uncle Vanya, and of course I’ve heard of Chekov, but forgive me being a bit of a film philistine, it’s not something I would’ve taken the time to investigate. It’s REALLY good. It’s really funny, it’s really fresh, it feels like a – it’s not a history lesson y’know, it feels, as Richard said, like you’re enjoying character speaking to each other now, and all the issues that they raise feel very current and contemporary. I loved it. Um, you can go to unclevanyacinema.com to find out where it’s playing, but it does certainly look like the Odeon Kettering and the Savoy in Corby will be showing it.

#going to see it tomorrow!!! so excited #richard armitage #uncle vanya

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harry-meepmeep-dresden · 4 years

Text

Hobbit Tricks

Hello everyone. I submitted a microfiction to a fan fiction contest. Thank you @studiocitypsychic for helping me edit this! You’re amazing! I hope everyone enjoys it: Buildings didn’t blaze with fire. Frogs weren’t raining down upon the city. Sidhe queens stayed clear of duking it out tonight. I intended to keep it that way.

If the fate of the world isn’t hanging in the balance, I’d typically spend this day of the year curled up enjoying my comfortable recliner, a cup of cocoa in one hand, book in the other, fireplace burning brightly in the background as I reveled in being the Grinch of Halloween. This holiday is all well and good when you’re not me.

Who am I? I’m the only wizard in the Chicago phone book, Harry Dresden. To say this day’s my least favorite is putting it mildly. This year I couldn’t just attempt to ignore it. No more fireplace, basement apartment, or staying in. I’m a dad, and there are certain responsibilities a single parent needs to live up to. It might not be saving Earth from becoming an undead paradise, but it’s still important. Tonight I’d be escorting two Hobbits and an ax-wielding Foo dog on an epic adventure to claim unspeakably valuable treasure…

Candy.

Father mode engaged as I let my baby girl help me get my fake bushy white eyebrows glued on. Maggie insisted they were absolutely necessary with the wig and beard. My beautiful little girl dressed up as Frodo. She had little makeup freckles on her cheeks, the elven cloak, and the iconic clothing made from what I guessed might be a pattern based on the movies, with lots of grays, greens, and browns. On top of that they’d picked out boots a few sizes too big and decorated them to look like Hobbit feet.

Scratching my jaw a little I determined I would not disappoint her by complaining about my costume she and Charity Carpenter made. Maggie and the Carpenters spent weeks on these outfits. No matter how itchy fake facial hair and wigs could be, not a single negative word would come out of my mouth about it. Anyway, I rarely get to dress up like one of my favorite fictional wizards, and this made both Maggie and me happy. Mouse wore a helmet, fake plastic ax, and that big goofy doggy grin of his. He couldn’t help it as he noticed how much Maggie enjoyed all of this.

Hope or another one of the Carpenter kids normally lead the trick-or-treating. They’d instead volunteered to help with Father Forthill’s trunk-or-treat at the church this year. Maggie and Hank demanded an old-fashioned door-to-door experience instead. I couldn’t lie about the fact that taking Maggie trick-or-treating made my heart grow three sizes.

We picked up Hank, and he brought out a map the Carpenter kids developed over years of experience of the best houses to get candy from. And with that, Sam, Frodo, Gandalf, and Gimli were off on an adventure. Now and then I’d whisper a spell, and Maggie’s plastic version of Sting would glow with a pale blue light. It delighted her and the surrounding kids. One house gave the kids full-sized candy bars as the adults complimented the costumes.

“Dad! Look!” she hurried over to show me. The large boots decorated to resemble Hobbit feet made running or walking tricky. She still half-waddled impressively fast. I whistled and smiled as she held up the candy bar.

“Seems the costumes impressed them. You did an amazing job, kiddo. I mean, these costumes couldn’t be more perfect. Starting to dig the beard. Maybe I should keep this look, huh?” I stroked the fake beard and tried impersonating that knowing stare into the distance Sir Ian McKellen used in the movies.

She giggled, hurrying off towards the next house, Mouse and Hank right by her side and me just behind. No way would those kids leave my sight. Her eyes lit up each time she said ‘trick or treat’. Every few houses she brought her bag over to show off the bounty of the adventure. It made painful memories wash away little by little. Soon we ran out of houses on the map. We were all loaded into the car as Hank checked his watch. I half expected him to jokingly call the watch ‘my precious’.

“Hey, Harry, isn’t there anywhere else you can take us? It’s still super early,” he pleaded as they buckled up.

“That’s all the places on the map, kiddo,” I replied, thinking about how fast we got through it, and blaming it on the kids’ energy and excitement.

“Nowhere else, dad?” I might not have seen it since I kept an eye on the road, but my dad senses felt the pout Maggie had while asking that.

“Alright, fine. Off to Helm’s Deep,” I grinned, changing direction to head to Murph’s house.

When we got there Murphy wasn’t home. There were no signs of foul play from what I could see. She might be at a party. I didn’t expect that with her injuries, but I’m not her keeper. I had really wanted to see her tonight, and couldn’t help the slight ache in my chest. Oh well, on to try Waldo’s place.

I gave a few quick knocks on Butters’ door when we arrived before waiting for an answer. No answer. He might be busy with knight business or his job. He enjoyed working late. Billy and Georgia were the next destination. They also weren’t home.

Before going to Thomas’ apartment, I called him. No answer. He and Justine were likely at a White Court party or busy with other activities. I’d rather not chance interrupting them with two kids in tow.

Back in the car, I noticed that Maggie and Hank were being remarkably quiet. Maybe they were bored. I tried to think about where else we might go. The church was a good option since they had set up games for the kids.

“Hey, sorry, it’s a bust. We’ll head to the church and see what they’re up-”

“No!” the two kids blurted out, interrupting me.“I mean, uh, I think I’d rather head home and you and Maggie could stay over and watch a scary movie or something?” Hank asked.

I turned to glance at the two of them and noticed Maggie change her attention to Mouse, away from Hank’s watch. The way they kept hovering over it, they reminded me of the Hobbits and the One Ring. Hopefully Maggie wouldn’t attempt biting off Hank’s entire hand to get it.

“Uh-huh… You two are up to something,” I said and narrowed my eyes.

“We don’t want the adventure to end just yet. We haven’t even been to Mordor,” Hank chimed with a half smile.

I needed to keep them safe from watching anything nightmare inducing or Charity’d mince me up and bake me into meat pies Sweeny Todd style. Out of the many monsters I’ve fought, I’d rather face them over her. Soon we parked in front of the Carpenters’ home. A shiver ran up my spine from the eeriness of Michael’s house with all the lights off. I thought at least one of the Carpenters would be home. Before I could ask Hank anything both the Hobbits rushed out trailed by the furry Gimli.

“Hey!” I shouted, not wanting to lose sight of them.

Why were they running off knowing how dangerous tonight of all nights could be? Might just be heading to the backyard to play, but it was still Halloween. Even knowing literal angels protected Michael’s property, my chest felt tight with worry when I couldn’t see the kids.

Once I entered the backyard, a bunch of lights blinded me.

“SURPRISE!” voices echoed in the night.

My eyes adjusted and I saw everyone and all the decorations they set up. The Carpenter family arranged themselves behind the table everyone had gathered around. I noticed Butters hanging out with the wolf pack to one side of the table. Murphy sat up in a chair with her crutches close by. Thomas and Justine were even there, wearing modest clothing and standing next to Murphy. The large cake on the table featured a t-rex picture on top, probably Butters’ idea. Next to it were plates and forks. A cooler filled with different soda sat next to the table. To top everything else off, the Monster Mash played in the background.

I felt Maggie hug my leg. Bending down, I picked her up and wrapped her into an even bigger hug. She kissed my cheek and wrapped her arms around my neck as I held her close. Everyone had planned this together. They set me up. Michael brought out an old Polaroid camera to take pictures. Wizards don’t photograph well on most modern equipment.

“You sneaky little hobbitses,” I tried to say in my best Gollum impression before sniffling as the fake beard tickled my nose. “You tricked me.”

That smile she gave me made me feel… Well, let’s just say if it were sunny out I could have used magic to catch daylight in a handkerchief.

“Happy birthday, dad.”

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saurons-pr-department · 4 years

Text

Having just watched the Lord of the Rings films I thought I’d give a nice little list of some random things I enjoy and maybe a few that I don’t (This is not a book vs film analysis. This is just me being silly).

This one sparks joy

Sam and Frodo are shown stumbling home after having a good aul’ knees up at the local pub just before Gandalf arrives to tell Frodo that, in his house, there is an item that could very well bring about the end of the world as they know it. Oh and he needs to leave right now because the single most evil being in Middle Earth has Frodo’s name and address. Like, the two lads are drunk when this happens! Love it XD

Sean Astin’s all over the place accent

Hobbit dad Boromir <3<3<3

Gimli going on and on about Dwarvish hospitality, somehow completely missing the major ominous vibe that the entrance into Moria gives off. And the corpses. He got so excited that, for a minute, he lived in a world where he wasn’t surrounded by corpses

Sean Bean’s delivery of the “They have a cave troll” line is just perfection

Orlando Bloom’s faces in the background

Aragorn telling Sam to go find Athelas. Nothing to do with the scene itself. It just always makes me think of Donkey looking for the blue flower with red thorns XD

Aragorn is very much turned on by Arwen putting a sword to his throat

One of the Goblins (?) makes a great face when the first Uruk-Hai is born(??). He’s like what the fuck what the fuck

Saruman gives this newly born(??) Uruk his orders in the main room of his tower while said Uruk is still stark naked and absolutely filthy... It’s so odd I can’t help but love it. At least give him a second XD

I think it means we also get to see an Uruk bum?

Saruman has lovely nails. I need to know where he gets them done

The Uruk-Hai don’t wear pants/leggings. Sky’s out, thighs out, boys! (Don’t blame them. They each seem to have my entire body weight worth of muscle on each leg. I’d show ‘em off too)

The main Uruk has a high pony tail. Fashion icon.

Sam delivers a speech so touching that even Gollum looks like he’s about to start crying

We get a close up of that moth Gandalf speaks to. Just a few moments of nothing but one of these fuzzy little friends. Best scene

The rawest line ever spoken has to be when Sam is asked if he’s Frodo’s bodyguard and he responds with “His Gardener”.

The delivery of every one of Sam’s speeches

Just Sam in general T_T

The score! It’s just...perfect (however you feel about a live action Silm adaptation, surely you must agree that we do need a Silm score? I need a score for it!)

The fact that the ending is so perfectly bitter sweet that I my chest genuinely feels tight after having watched it T_T

This one does not spark joy

Why does nobody clean their nails???? Like, never mind Sauron, ye’re all going to die of preventable infectious diseases at this rate!!

The lack of Legolas going to fetch the sun :(

Actually, just the lack of book!Legolas’ nonsense in general

Liv Tyler whispers all her lines. She just...she whispers everything...and speaks so slowly... why???? please stop!

The giant, mud-covered amniotic sack thing that the Uruk-Hai are dug out of. What...what even is that?? I’m no expert, but I’m pretty certain that the orcs just fuck like the rest of us, no?

Denethor eating...I just did not need to see that. It was unnecessary.

#lotr films #sorcha watches lotr #i feel like there's a lot more to go on this list but i've forgotten them...

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blurglesmurfklaine · 4 years

Text

Operation Count Chocula

A/N: Idek what this is... you can thank @somefeministtheatrepls for this, based on this post. I changed it up a little! Gets a little cracky and I have no regrets

~2.5k words

Rated T for one (1) mildly dirty joke

Read on AO3

XXX

If someone had asked Blaine his senior year of high school whether he was going to be an active member of Greek life during college, he would have laughed in surprise and told them a solid no. His first year in college proved that his stance wasn’t as firm as he’d initially thought.

Quinn had been the one to recruit him into Nu Beta Kappa. She was in his Reading in Short Story and Drama class, and after working on their final project together, she convinced him to rush NBK. She had pointed out that Greek life wasn’t all about parties and hazing, and that NBK focused on serving the community and striving for social equality.

Currently, he was in his Junior year of college and in the chip aisle of the local Walmart, standing next to his Big Sister, the aforementioned Quinn Fabray.

“I hate shopping for the house,” she lamented. “There are better things I could be doing with my life at three AM on a Friday night.”

“Isn’t it technically Saturday, then?” Blaine pointed out.

“Aren’t Vice Presidents supposed to support their Presidents?”

He mocked a salute at her. “Nothing but respect for my President, madam Fabray.”

Blaine suddenly whipped his head around when he heard Santana, their Sergeant at Arms, cry out from the next aisle down. “You can have this box of Count Chocula when it falls from my cold, dead, hands, Gromit!”

He and Quinn exchanged concerned looks before sprinting down to find Santana. When they found her, Puck and Brittany, two more Nu Beta Kappa sisters, had shown up in support and were standing behind her. Santana had a death grip on the family size box of cereal, but so did the unusually tall boy standing across from her.

Blaine recognized him as Finn Hudson, the treasurer for Omicron Sigma, Nu Beta Kappa’s “masculine” counterpart. They had the same values as NBK, but NBK had been started by female students who were not allowed to rush OS in the 1940s. In the end, both organizations eventually became co-Ed (all members of OS were “brothers” regardless of gender, and likewise, all members of NBK were “sisters”). However, they never did quite seem to overcome that bad blood between them.

There were four more members of OS standing behind Finn. A blond haired guy with a large mouth, a dark skinned girl with curly hair and a stylish beret, a short girl with bangs, and...

Blaine made a sharp intake of breath because standing next to the girl with beret was the most gorgeous guy he’d ever seen. He was wearing a grey hoodie with Property of ΟΣ printed in athletic font in the front, on top of checkered pajama pants. His hair, though disheveled from an obvious lack of sleep, was still light and had bounce to it. His eyes crystal blue eyes were half lidded, and seemed sunken in with drowsiness.

Blaine thought he looked fantastic.

“This cereal is for my girlfriend!” Finn exclaimed, tugging the box closer to his chest.

“Yeah, well this cereal is for my girlfriend!” Santana snapped back, tugging it closer to her chest in return.

Finn furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of what to do next. He turned his head back to nameless hot guy, still clutching the box. “Wait, Kurt, do I have to give it to her because of like, gay rights?”

The boy—Kurt, apparently—pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. “You don’t have to, but you should so we can go the fuck home.”

“No,” Finn grunted. “This is a matter of pride now. I clearly had the box first. I’m not going to let Nu Beta Kappa just take anything they want. Again.”

Uh oh. Last semester, Omicron Sigma and Nu Beta Kappa had both been planning an end of the banquet for members and tried to get the same venue for the day after finals ended. Santana had been president at the time and finessed her way onto the Cherry Tea Tree room’s schedule. Clearly, certain members of Omicron Sigma took it personally.

“Well, all we wanted was equal rights some seventy odd years ago, so I think things even out!” Santana said.

“Lord Tubbington owes a lot of money and he needs the Count Chocula to cope,” Brittany said in a panic.

From across the aisle, Blaine saw Kurt’s cheeks redden at the spectacle and wondered if the heat rising to his own face was now visible. He loved his friends, but god, were they extra as hell. He and Kurt exchanged glances that were equal parts amusement and horror.

“I’ll arm wrestle you for it,” Santana challenged.

Finn burst out into uproarious laughter. “You’re like, half my height. I think I can take you.”

“Then come on,” she sniped. “Put your Count Chocula where your mouth is!”

Kurt’s jaw dropped and he looked over to Blaine, gesturing to Finn as if to say Can you believe them?

Blaine nodded along and raised his eyebrows as if to say, I know, right? He was glad to see his gesture gain a smile from Kurt. He would have stayed the rest of the time staring at Kurt if Santana and Finn’s match hadn’t been so distracting.

When Blaine looked back towards them, they had their elbows on the empty cereal shelf, hands fastened in a deadlock against the others.

Finn pressed his arm down against Santana’s.

Three of the four of Finn’s fraternity brothers cheered him on behind him. Likewise, Quinn, Puck, and Brittany all egged Santana on. Their collective shouts of growing excitement was a stark contrast to the silence in the rest of the store. Blaine was honestly surprised a manager hadn’t come to usher them out yet. But, he supposed, it was a college town. There are weirder things that happen in a grocery store at three AM.

It seemed like Santana was about to lose, but she must have tapped into strength that came from repressed rage and in a quick surge, pinned Finn’s arm against the metal.

He looked at her, aghast by the outcome of the match.

“Oh thank god, can we go home now?” Kurt asked.

“Absolutely not!” Rachel screeched.

Kurt groaned and threw his head back in frustration before letting it fall against the cart. He lifted his head up and mouthed to Blaine, They’re insane.

Blaine let out a chuckle and pointed to his friends, who were now exchanging obnoxiously celebratory high-fives with their champion. I know, he mouthed back. Them, too.

The short brunette stepped forward and hiked up the long sleeve of her blouse. “Let’s go, Satan.”

“Rachel, there is no way you can take her,” Kurt mumbled.

“Just watch me.”

“You’re on, hobbit,” Santana growled.

If the first match had been short, this one had gone by at lightning speed. Blaine actually flinched when Rachel’s arm slammed against the metal.

“No fair!” She cried. “I just... wasn’t ready, that’s all!”

Blaine stifled a laugh and rolled his eyes, making sure that Kurt could see him. Kurt returned the smile and shook his head. “Come on, guys.” Kurt said. “She won fair and square.”

Rachel pouted and crossed her arms before turning away and heading off into the other direction.

“You know what,” the girl with the beret said. “We’ll see you next week.”

“We look forward to it, Mercedes!” Quinn huffed. Blaine gave her a condescending glance before rolling his eyes and leading the way to the front of the store.

Try as he might, Blaine couldn’t get the goofy smile off his face every time he imagined the interaction he just had with Kurt. Yes, it hadn’t seemed like much, and they hadn’t even spoken a verbal word to each other, and yet Blaine still found himself wondering if he should try and find the Omicron Sigma group before they left to try and get Kurt’s number.

“Hey Blaine,” Puck said, snapping him back to reality. “The water bottles are right there,” he said, pointing to a nearby stack.

“Huh?”

“The water bottles,” Puck repeated, stone faced as if Blaine should know exactly what he meant. “To quench your thirst for porcelain back there.”

He scoffed. “Shut up,” he grumbled, feeling his face warm. Blaine eventually decided against going to find Kurt right now, knowing he’d never hear the end of it from his friends.

If it was meant to be, they’d cross paths again.

XXX

Noah Puckerman invited you and six others to join the secret messenger chat: Operation Count Chocula

Santana: What the hell is this, Puck?

Rachel: Who put me in a group chat with the devil herself?

Quinn: I’m with them on this one. Explain yourself, Noah.

Finn: Why am I in a group chat filled with NBKs!?!?

Puck: Listen here cumslut, we don’t want to mingle with you just as much as you don’t want to mingle with us. But it’s time we set aside our differences for a greater purpose.

Mercedes: What the hell is he talking about?

Puck: True love.

Quinn: Oh dear god what the fuck

Sam: Is this about how Kurt and Blaine are clearly in love?

Brittany: Yeah, I picked up on that, too.

Puck: Yes! They left without each other’s numbers.

Finn: And why should we help you?

Puck: You wouldn’t be helping *me* you’d be helping them.

Puck: Besides, if we don’t do this, then we’ll probably have to endure like weeks of them stalking each other on Facebook, running into each other on campus and being too shy to make a move and then one of them will get a boyfriend because they think the other isn’t interested and it’ll all go to shit just TRUST ME

Quinn: That was a very… thorough… explanation.

Satan: WHO CHANGED MY NICKNAME TO THIS?

Benz: Finn, change her name back.

Benz: Wait a hot damn second.

RyanSeacrestFan101: Lay off, I got that tattoo when I was 18!

Bottle Blond: MY HAIR IS NATURAL

Disaster Hair: Hey, my mohawk is iconic!

Yentl: First off, I am honored to share a name that Barbra once used on the stage. Secondly, whoever’s doing this, KNOCK IT OFF

Finn: I changed Santana’s name… I’ll change it back

Santana: Oh, my bad. I changed Mercedes’s name because I thought she changed mine.

Mercedes: Oops… I changed Quinn’s.

Quinn: Alright, I changed Sam’s.

Sam: I got pucks…

Puck: And I plead the fifth.

Puck: Can we get back to business please?

Rachel: Sure… what did you have in mind?

XXX

One Week Later

Quinn: This the dumbest plan ever

Liked by everyone in the group

Sam: So dumb, it just might work

Liked by everyone in the group

XXX

Kurt was one aisle over when he heard his brother call out an all too familiar phrase.

“Oh no! It’s the last box of Count Chocula, and someone has grabbed it!”

He rolled his eyes and trudged to the next aisle down. His mood instantly became brighter when he saw the NBK sisters from last week, Blaine in their midsts. He smiled and waved, a gesture that Blaine happily returned.

“So…” Kurt started when nobody had said anything after a few moments. “Finn, are you going to arm wrestle her for it, or are you going to finally swallow your pride?”

“Well, uh, you and Blaine have to fight for it.” He sputtered out quickly.

“What!?” Blaine cries out from the other side of the aisle. “Why?”

“Because I can’t,” Santana said quickly. Blaine looked at her with confusion. It wasn’t like her to turn down a competition. She noticed his suspicion and added, “I uh, pulled my arm muscle.”

“Doing what?” Blaine asked.

She shrugged. “Brittany.”

“I shouldn’t have asked.”

“So in my place,” she continued, shoving Blaine forward. “I choose, our valiant Vice President, who is just always so willing to help a sister out.”

“Yeah!” Finn started awkwardly. “And-and I can’t do it because I have a… paper cut?”

“A paper cut?” Kurt asked, his suspicion rising. He folded his arms across his chest. “You got a paper cut?”

“It was cardstock.” Finn explained. “Besides, you’re my brother, I need you to have my back on this.”

Kurt gaped at him. “I cannot believe you pulled the brother card in something as stupid as this.”

Finn beamed and pushed Kurt towards Blaine. “You’ll thank me for this one day.”

“I highly doubt that.”

Kurt walked up and met Blaine. “They’re insane…” his judgemental expression softened into one of fondness. “I missed you, by the way.”

“I missed you, too.” Blaine returned his smile. “But right now, I’m representing NBK and I’ve kinda been chosen to smack you down like the hand of god.”

“Oh, really?” Kurt raised his eyebrows, and gave Blaine a crooked grin. “You’ll regret that. I was going to suggest we just fake a tie, but it’ll be a lot more fun just winning.”

“Do you really think you can take me?” Blaine asked cheekily, placing his arm on the metal shelf.

“I’m stronger than I look,” Kurt teased back, clasping Blaine’s hand in his. “After all, I did have you pinned down in the back seat of my car for the better part of an hour.”

Blaine sputtered at the memory and he lost his concentration, causing Kurt to gain the lead in the match. He smiled slyly. This was going to be an easy match.

“That’s cheating!” Blaine cried.

“No,” Kurt said. “That’s using my assets.”

“I don’t need to be reminded of your assets they’re very memorable.”

“When can I see you again?” Kurt asked, relaxing his grip just a bit and feeling Blaine reciprocate.

“Is this not our second date?” Blaine teased. “Breadstix was nice, but three AM at a Walmart is just so much classier.”

“You should see my bedroom at three AM.”

“What?” Blaine lost his concentration and in his moment of distraction, Kurt pressed his arm all the way down to the metal.

“Pinned ya.” Kurt grinned, leaning in closer to Blaine.

Kurt’s eyes were magnets, drawing Blaine in closer and closer. “You, Kurt Hummel, can pin me anytime you want,” he giggled.

Puck cupped his hands together around his mouth like a megaphone. “Now kiss!” It wasn’t long before their friends resembled a small picket line, demanding that Kurt and Blaine lock lips by chanting Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! in a steady beat.

“Should we tell them about our date on Thursday?” Blaine asked. “And that it went really, really well?”

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. “And take all the fun out of it? Yeah, right.”

Blaine’s face split with a wide grin before Kurt fisted Blaine’s shirt and pulled them together, the two rival Greek organizations cheering them on in the background.

#wow look at me im writing!#kurt hummel #blaine anderson #klaine #klaine fanfiction #glee #fic rec

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theyearoftheking · 4 years

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Book 5: The Stand

Bloggers note: if you’re looking for a complete plot summary and a list of all the characters in this epic tome, this is not the blog post for you. Proceed with caution.

Once upon a time, there was a precocious ten year-old, with divorced parents. One parent embraced her weirdness and didn’t pay attention to what books she was bringing home from the library; and the other parent was my dad... who constantly wondered (aloud) why I wasn’t like normal kids.

Being of slightly above-average intelligence, I saw this as an affront, and did subtle things just to piss him off. Subtle things “normal” children probs wouldn’t do. The summer I was ten, my dad had picked up a paperback copy of The Stand, and was raving to me about how good it was. I remember he was fixated on people falling dead in their bowls of Chunky soup.

“Sounds like a cool book, maybe I’ll read it,” I commented.

“This isn’t a book for children. You still haven’t read that copy of The Hobbit I gave you.”

Hold my beer, motherfucker. I’m here for it. And The Hobbit was boring af. I never got past all the singing.

Just to piss him off, I read the book cover to cover, faster than he did. You know, like normal vindictive ten year-old girls do. I don’t have a lot of memories of my dad growing up, but I hold onto this one fast and tight, because I got mine in the end. I was like the Trashcan Man of the fifth grade set. Just with a worse haircut. See below.

Needless to say, my comprehension of The Stand almost thirty years later is a little bigger, wider, and deeper. It’s also colored by other epic “Good vs. Evil” reads (sigh, yes... even Tolkien); and King’s other works (mostly The Dark Tower). While at times this was not an easy book to read, I’m glad I powered through it. Ultimately, I feel rewarded I didn’t give up on page 872 like I had initially wanted to. I’m also glad I didn’t go with my gut instinct of reading the original released in in 1978, and then later on the uncut edition that was released in 1990. One reading of The Stand per year is more than enough, thank you. And besides, there’s fun pictures along the way! I mean, if I’m being honest, the book is mostly pictures with just a few words here and there to break it up. I’m absolutely kidding.

Let’s get into it, shall we?

First of all, I picked the worst fucking time to read this book. Coronavirus is probably going to kill the whole world, and I refuse to be one of the survivors like in The Stand. There’s not enough bourbon in Kentucky for me to survive that shit show. Additionally, my family is huge into board games, and we thought Pandemic might be a fun cooperative game to try. Spoiler: it’s awesome, we’re all hooked on it. I highly recommend it for your next game night. Maybe an End of the World/Pandemic theme?? You can all wear gloves and masks, eat shelf stable foods and bottled water, and play REM on repeat. Sounds... awesome.

But I digress. The Stand is your ultimate post-apocalyptic good versus evil showdown. A government employee with Captain Trips (the world ending virus) goes AWOL from his base, and takes a frantic road trip across the country with his family, where he manages to contaminate everyone he comes in contact with.

What is Captain Trips? Well, I’m so glad you asked! To hear a doctor explain it, “We’ve got a disease with several well-defined stages... but some people may skip a stage. Some people may backtrack a stage. Some people may do both. Some people stay in one stage for a relatively long time and others zoom though all four as if they were on a rocket-sled...”

The virus spreads (like viruses do), until there’s less than 15,000 people left in the country (rough estimate). The people still alive start having two types of dreams; either scary nightmares about The Walking Man, or peaceful dreams about Mother Abigail. Again... good versus evil. Guess who is who. If you need clarification, let me give you this one little quote about Randall Flagg, courtesy of Mother Abigail, “He’s the purest evil left in the world. The rest of the bad is a little evil. Shoplifters and sexfiends and people who like to use their fists. But he’ll call them. He’s started already. He’s getting them together a lot faster than we are. Before he’s ready to make his move, I guess he’ll have a lot more. Not just the evil ones that are like him, but the weak ones... the lonely ones... and the ones that have left God out of their hearts.”

And his followers?

“They were nice enough people and all, but there wasn’t much love in them. Because they were too busy being afraid. Love didn’t grow very well in a place where there was only fear, just as plants didn’t grow very well in a place where it was always dark.”

Yeah. I’m just going to leave that there for you to read and digest.

So, the remaining people from all over the country either ended up in Vegas with Flagg, or Boulder with Mother Abigail and The Free Zone; which is basically Bernie Sander’s Utopian dream.

God damn it! I swore I wasn’t going to get political and compare Donald Trump to Randall Fla-

Ok, so The Free Zone. Most of the people who come to Boulder, want to meet Mother Abigail Freemantle, the one hundred and eight year old black woman they’ve been dreaming about. She’s got a self-described case of the shine, and speaks stupid relevant truth to her followers, “I have harbored hate of the Lord in my heart. Every man or woman who loves Him, they hate Him too, because He’s a hard God, a jealous God, He Is, what He Is, and in this world He’s apt to repay service with pain while those who do evil ride over the roads in Cadillac cars. Even the joy of serving Him is a bitter joy. I do His will, but the human part o me has cursed Him in my heart.”

I’m not religious, but that hit hard. And it shows you the clear difference between Randall Flagg, and Mother Abigail.

Later on, Mother Abigail also hits us over the head, and explains to us why this book is titled, The Stand: “But he is in Las Vegas, and you must go there, and it is there that you will make your stand. You will go, and you will not falter, because you have the Everlasting Arm of the Lord God of Hosts to lean on. Yes. With God’s help you will stand.”

Spoiler: it doesn’t quite go according to her plan. Very few are left standing at the end.

So, The Free Zone. People come together, dispose of dead bodies, get electricity turned back on again, clear the roads of abandoned cars, and form a de-facto government. While lots of characters come and go (die. They die.) throughout the book, there are a few mainstays in The Free Zone: Franny, Harold, Stu, Larry, Nick, Tom, Nadine, and Lucy. But again... good versus evil. While most of the residents of The Free Zone are good, Flagg is able to whisper in the ears of some members, mostly Harold and Nadine, who end up defecting and making the trip to Vegas.

While socialist utopia is succeeding in Boulder, Flagg is ruling with fear of crucifixion in Vegas. His henchmen include Lloyd, and The Trashcan Man. Oh, Trashy... maybe one of King’s most iconic characters. He’s a bit of a firebug (understatement of the century), and really goes out in a blaze of glory (ha. Pun intended).

In fact, the two heroes of this book are Trashcan Man, thanks to his epic nuclear disaster; and simple-minded Tom Cullen, who is able to infiltrate Flagg’s inner circle, and successfully make it out, rescuing Stu Redman, who is dying in the desert with a broken leg and a horrible infection along the way. Tom Cullen is the character you root for. But Trashy is the character you’re always curious about. He’s like that rebel guy you dated in high school for ten minutes, and now stalk on Facebook, because you want to see what shady shit he’s up to twenty years later.

This is the biggest oversimplification I think I’ve ever written. The onus is on you to just pick up the damn book and read it yourself. Do it soon, because you might not have a lot of time left, what with Coronavirus breathing it’s death fumes down our necks.

For those still keeping track, we have TWO Wisconsin references in The Stand. The first was on page five, set in a gas station in East Texas, “...had covered himself with glory as a quarterback of the regional high school team, had gone on to Texas A&M with an athletic scholarship, and had played for ten years with the Green Bay Packers...”

I can’t help but feel Steve is a closeted Packers fan. He lives in Maine, so I know he’s contractually obligated to be a Patriots fan (gag), but come on... homeboy loves him some green and yellow.

The second reference comes from our friend Trashcan Man, while trying to find a walking route of possible destruction. “He had planned to get over to the west side of Gary, near the confusion of interchanges leading various roads towards Chicago or Milwaukee...”

Question... does Gary, Indiana still smell in a post-apocalyptic world? Asking for a friend.

We also start getting the Dark Tower references fast and heavy. I didn’t make note every time Steve referenced wolves, crows, or wheels; because we’d be up over a million references now. And Randall Flagg himself is straight out of The Tower. So that’s fun. And we have our first “ka” reference: “And it came to him with a dreamy, testicle-shriveling certainty that this was the dark man, his soul, his ka somehow projected into this rain-drenched, grinning crow that was looking at him...”

‘Tis ka, bitches.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 8

Dark Tower References: 4

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Shining

The Stand

‘Salem’s Lot

Carrie

Night Shift

Next up is The Dead Zone, which I must have watched a million times as a kid, because my mom was obsessed with it, but I’ve never actually read the book. So this should be fun! I mean... who doesn’t love reading a book and imagining Christopher Walken without his cowbell as the main character?

Long Days and Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

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mrsabbington-blog · 6 years

Text

Farewell, my dear Watson: Amanda Abbington on Sherlock and her break-up with Martin Freeman

The actress’s career was going from strength to strength when her relationship with her co-star imploded. She tells Bryan Appleyard how she contained the fallout

Amanda Abbington — who, as Mary Morstan, took a bullet for Sherlock Holmes — has a new man whom she won’t name. “He’s lovely, we’re keeping it very much on the low down. We don’t want lots of people to know. We’ve been together for about a year now. He’s an actor and he’s delightful. He’s very mindful of my situation and I’m very mindful of his.”

She was with Holmes’s sidekick, Dr Watson — aka Martin Freeman — for 16 years. They have two children, Grace and Joe. They broke up in 2016 while they were both starring in Sherlock.

“We still get on really well, we still really both admire each other as actors … he’s a great guy, but we just couldn’t live with each other any more.”

Given that Sherlock was an international hit, and that Freeman achieved global superstardom as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, this was a high-profile break-up. She was papped, looking supposedly “disconsolate” while out shopping.

Trying to keep the new man a mystery is understandable. But it won’t be easy. Tabloids have recently been reporting that she and Northern Irish actor Jonjo O’Neill are an item. She is neither confirming nor denying this. The paps would have been after her anyway, because she is the star of Safe, a new Netflix series by the crime author Harlan Coben. The first strange thing about this show is her co-star Michael C Hall, who played the Miami serial killer Dexter and the gay undertaker David Fisher in Six Feet Under. Here, he is a dodgy English husband in a wealthy suburban enclave (in fact Manchester, but you’re not supposed to know that). The strange thing is his English accent, which is near perfect.

“He was really worried about that. English accents are hard for Americans to do. I don’t think he had a voice coach.”

Her voice has a slight southeastern working-class flavour. She talks quickly, eagerly and laughs a lot and, for some reason, she seems much prettier in the flesh than on TV. I am sure, however, there is something wrong with her tastebuds. We’re both having tuna salad at a studio in north London. The fish is perfectly inedible, but she eats it all.

To get back to Hall — he will always be Dexter to me, so I’m pretty sure he’s guilty of something other than the affair he’s having with Sophie, the detective sergeant played by Abbington, which is revealed in the first episode. Also revealed is the fact that Sophie’s ex-husband is living in a caravan in her front garden.

This is the second time she’s played a detective sergeant. The first was Jo Moffatt in the series Cuffs in 2015. The BBC cancelled that after one series. She was also Detective Chief Inspector Louise Munroe in Case Histories, another BBC series. Female police officers, we agree, have a long and distinguished screen history. “Prime Suspect,” I suggest. “Helen Mirren!”

“The Gentle Touch!” she replies. “Cagney and Lacey! Angie Dickinson! I loved Police Woman. I wanted to be Angie Dickinson when I was growing up.”

There’s a good reason she fantasised about being a strong woman with a gun. For three years at primary school she was badly bullied — her lunches were stolen and she was called ugly, stupid and smelly. Nobody would play with her.

“There was a group of girls who made my life miserable. I am now very, very aware of it when it happens anywhere. If it happens to my kids or on the street or on the internet I’ll wade in.”

She’s certainly an active and sweary anti-bullying and anti-general-nastiness campaigner on Twitter — she is @CHIMPSINSOCKS.

“I’ve never understood the c**** who abuse and hurt animals,” was her latest tweet as I was writing this. “Wonderful. Just wonderful. Let’s make older women feel even more f****** invisible and unattractive,” she tweeted about a story saying men preferred younger women.

She was brought up in Hertfordshire, her father was a taxi driver and her mother was tough: she finally found out about the bullies and went round to the house of one of them. “If your child does anything like that to my daughter again,” she said, “I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

Her mother’s fierceness and her grandmother’s advice seem to have prepared her for the perils of show business. When I ask her the inevitable Harvey Weinstein question, she says she’s never had a problem. “I always go on a film set as a mate of everybody. I set my stall out. I’m just going to be like the funny mate who hangs out with the sparks and the prop boys, and I make sure I am not someone you can take the piss out of or take advantage of. I learnt that from my nana — be strong, make them laugh and don’t take shit from anybody.”

Anyway, there she is in Hertfordshire worshipping Angie Dickinson and wanting to be on stage. Somehow this leads her into dancing. She studied dance from the age of five. Eventually she got auditions for Cats and Starlight Express, but she knew she wasn’t good enough. In any case, the decision was made for her when, aged 18, she did the splits and ripped the muscles in her groin.

“That ended my dancing career, but I would never have been a good dancer. Then a drama teacher told me that he thought my talent lay in acting and he was absolutely right. I’d always performed, always made up stories and done funny voices. I went to a tiny drama school in Hitchin and I felt like I’d come home.”

She picked up small parts — The Bill, Wycliffe, Casualty and so on. But there was no real breakthrough. Well, there was one: the Maltesers TV ads she made with Katherine Parkinson. Unlike almost every TV ad ever made anywhere, they are still worth watching.

At one point she went 18 months without any work, changing her agent half a dozen times in desperation. The first stirrings of a change in her fortunes came with ITV’s Mr Selfridge — she was Josie Mardle — which ran for four series between 2013 and 2016.

“My character was an amalgamation of quite a few women who worked within the top echelons of Selfridges. There was so much going on in those years — the suffragettes, the Titanic. It was a dream job.”

It was a success, but not huge and a bit middle-aged — it was not for geeks, millennials or snowflakes, so it could not really go, as we must say, viral. All that changed when the actor and screenwriter Mark Gatiss invited her and Freeman to sit in on a discussion on the third series of Sherlock. They wanted to bring in a new character from the books, Mary Morstan, who first appears in The Sign of Four. Abbington had a couple of ideas. “I said Nicola Walker, she would be amazing in it. Or Olivia Colman.”

It was a set-up, they were going to offer it to her all along. She burst into tears. Sherlock was the big TV show of the moment.

“People started to say hello to me in the street when Sherlock started. Mr Selfridge wasn’t iconic. Sherlock hit the ground running and everyone went mad about it.”

She did seven episodes in two series, then she saved the life of Holmes and sacrificed her own by taking the bullet; it’s an invented incident, Mary dies in the books, but the cause is unknown. I ask her why a mouthy, Estuary-accented working-class girl like her would take a bullet for a toff — Holmes being played by the old Harrovian Benedict Cumberbatch.

“I know! Why would she do that? I wouldn’t, I’d run the other way.”

Did being killed off upset her?

“No, it made sense. And, anyway, you never really leave Sherlock, there are always flashbacks. So if they ever do another one I’m hoping they’ll have me back.”

The strange thing about her role in Sherlock was not simply that it made her famous. Out there on the easily offended, lost-its-grip-on-reality internet it made her notorious as the scheming woman who came between the previously happy and — in the imaginations of some fans — gay relationship between Holmes and Watson.

“I made the mistake of talking about the fan art very early on. They used to do some beautiful work about Watson and Sherlock being together as a couple, and I made an off-the-cuff remark that I wasn’t entirely happy with this because my kids might see it. The fallout was terrible and I felt really bad. I wasn’t being disparaging about their work. It got out of hand and I managed to make a lot of enemies. I had to do a lot of damage limitation. It’s because they’re fiercely protective of the show and that’s brilliant! But it means you have to treat it with a lot of respect.”

Meanwhile, Freeman had to be away for years in New Zealand shooting The Hobbit. While away she had the children to look after and had a cancer scare — a lump in her breast that turned out to be harmless. She also landed herself in trouble with the taxman. She was declared bankrupt because of an unpaid £120,000 tax bill. “I didn’t pay enough over a period of years and it accumulated, but for the record I paid it all back with a huge amount of interest,” she says. “Because I’m an idiot and I didn’t put enough away. It was my biggest regret and now I make sure everything is in place where it can never happen again.”

On top of that, their relationship was in trouble and, in the midst of the Sherlock episodes that put them on screen together, they broke up. They kept it as quiet as they could. “When we broke up nobody knew, we didn’t tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff. It took six months for it to get out and a lot of that was while we were working on Sherlock.

“We were not children, we weren’t going to start throwing crap at each other. We were professional and we were going to get on and make a show and be civil to each other. That’s far more important than being angry and being sad.”

Safe could have her up there again. The first episode I saw looked very promising and Coben does seem to be associated with hits. We’ll see.

Abbington, meanwhile, is back in her home village of Little Heath, Hertfordshire, with her parents living down the road. She’s an only child, they’re close. She loved being an only child because it made it easier to get on with adults and she never had to put up with rows like those between her children.

“Please, Mummy, can I get an agent,” says Grace, who is nine. She wants to be an actor. Abbington thinks she has the talent and presence to succeed. But she’s cautious. Parts like Mary Morstan and Josie Mardle don’t grow on trees.

Safe launches on Netflix on May 10

#Amanda Abbington #Sherlock #Mary Watson #Mary Morstan #Netflix Safe #Martin Freeman #interview

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barbecuedphoenix · 7 years

Text

200 Followers: 11 Things About Me

So I was re-tagged a week ago by @eldarya-scenarios. (I had no idea I tagged you twice, dear. ^_^ Having two aliases is awfully sneaky.)

If you’re a little curious on who your friendly fan blogger is behind the Leiftan icon and the barrage of text-winks, feel free to read on. Watch out though: it’s a long post like everything else I write...

And if not, please continue to enjoy this blog’s smart-assery and the text-winks. ;)

1) Why did you name your blog the way you did? ...Because that’s the screen-name I use for my main Eldarya account. I’m not very creative with names. :( Not to mention that it’s probably very politically-incorrect to say ‘Barbecued Phoenix’ in the faery realm. Huang Hua would not be amused. And my blog is guaranteed to be politically-incorrect as far as folklore and faeries are concerned. ;) My screen-name is actually homage to a Neil Gaiman short-story called ‘Sunbird’, which is still one of my favorites from its double serving of dark humor and culinary catastrophes. And it sounds really funny when you say it out-loud (at least that’s my opinion).

2) What was your last meal? *checks bowl next to laptop* Eh… a fruit salad I scraped together from some Rainier cherries and leftover cantaloupe slices. It’s summer here, and I enjoy my fruits. :)

3) Jeans or skirts? …I must have at least nine different pairs of jeans in my closet, half of which I don’t even wear most days. And just one pencil skirt. Because at least once in my life, I’ll need to go to a court room. So there’s your answer. :)

4) What’s your favourite letter of the alphabet? In the English alphabet, ‘L’ is my favorite. It just rollllls off the tongue so nicely. :)

5) Favourite fandom/shipping? I’m a mercenary crack-ship writer. Anything goes so long as characters are in-character. ;) *cough* Truthfully, I haven’t shipped anything in a fandom since I was eleven or twelve, and that was waaaay back when the cartoon series Avatar the Last Airbender premiered. I think that experience has inoculated me to serious shipping. So now, while I enjoy seeing a well-developed, well-paced canon romance (because it means the creators have really thought the story through), it’s never a huge concern for me who’s paired up with whom. Romance isn’t actually the selling point for me for a lot of stories; it’s individual character development and plot direction that counts. And anyway… fan shipping is really a fabrication. With a bit of imagination, effort, and tactical writing, functional relationships can be spun between anything and anyone, and unraveled in the same way. Even when keeping all parties in character. So why blow a gasket over shipping? To each their own dirty little fancies. ;)

As for my fandoms… they’re a patchwork quilt of games, books, movies, TV shows, anime from a lot of different sources, and it changes every year. For the sake of time, I’ll give a rundown of just the fantasy/supernatural genres I’ve been following for a while (translating some of the titles to English when possible):

Games: the Dragon Age series, Folklore (also called FolksSoul), Uncharted, the Persona series

Books: Discworld, His Dark Materials, the Dr. Siri Paiboun series, the Temeraire series, The Tiger’s Wife, Brisingamen, pretty much anything done by Neil Gaiman… the list goes on. With a few rare exceptions, I’ve shifted from being a high fantasy lover (those tropes get old after a while) to an acolyte of more low-key genres like magical-realism, fantasy-historical-fiction, and satirical-fantasy.

TV Shows: Supernatural

Anime & Cartoons: the Fate series (even though my fanfiction ends up making fun of it 95% of the time, it’s still a really intricate universe), the Avatar series

Movies: Practically anything done by Studio Ghibli and Tomm Moore, ‘Coraline’, ‘Corpse Bride’, ‘Therapy for a Vampire’, ‘Let the Right One In’, ‘Groundhog Day’, the very first installation of ‘The Hobbit’

6) What’s your favourite sport? (You don’t necessarily have to play it) Favorite sport I can’t do, but love to watch: Surfing. Forget berserk football matches; give me a crazy Australian riding a tunnel wave any day. :D Favorite sport I can do: Bicycling. I’m no Tour de France candidate, but my bike regularly takes its share of unreasonable hills and descents in the city where I live. Personally, It’s a great way to get around. ^_^

7) What’s your idea of a perfect day? Getting everything on my list done with minimal coffee and hair-pulling. -_- Sorry… I’m still listening to the robot half of my brain. Switching over. Start the day by making a difference and sharing a good time with both the students I see where I work, and the odd friends and colleagues I do have. Attend a really good lecture. Then take a quiet bus ride to the beach or an aquarium, where I can watch all the wildlife shenanigans I want. Tourists included. Cook something awesome for lunch or dinner, and eat it to discover that it’s still more awesome. End the day with a good book, an avalanche of blankets, and a conveniently-rainy night. And maybe a quick Skype/phone call with my dad. ;( Oh there I go, listening to the sappy half of my brain. Switching over.

8) What animal do you hate with all your soul? The logical part of my brain tells me I have no cause to loathe any animal for existing. But the cave-woman part of my brain still gets creeped out by a few of them…. Geckos especially. Because the house where I grew up was infested with them (like a typical equatorial house, actually). The geckos could be found on absolutely any flat surface, even the underside of the table and on the ceiling, so we always had to check right before sitting down that something cold, bug-eyed, and squirmy wasn’t going to drop on us in the middle of dinner. And they also liked to appear in other surprising places: like in your shoes (as my father found out one day while rushing to work), inside drawers, inside trash cans, crushed between door hinges, trapped in the kitchen sink, and inside the refrigerator a couple of times (worst idea ever, for a lizard). One of the best things that happened to me on moving to this corner of the United States: no geckos anywhere. I can clean my apartment with an easy heart. \o/

9) Can you dance? Besides some lingering muscle memory from my early days doing classical ballet... no. :( I’d really like to take up Spanish Flamenco though. Generally, I do better with choreographed dances rather than impromptu club-dancing. As all my friends have told me. I’ve given them so many priceless memories on the dance-floor…

10) What’s the name and age of your favourite character? (OC or otherwise) I can’t decide on a ‘favorite’ character in media; there’s too many of them. So how about a favorite OC instead? ^_^ Right now among the Eldarya OC cast, my favorite would have to be Zephania ‘Zee’ Tantiango because she’s a magnet for trouble as a protagonist very dynamic heroine to work with. (She’s 23, in case you’re interested.) Zee is actually the latest incarnation of the ‘funny-but-unlucky action heroine’ archetype I’ve spent years working on, and I’m happy with how she’s turning out so far. On one hand, she’s the typical small-town heroine who’s sharp, plucky, energetic, and more than a little kooky herself; the story never stops moving once she starts improvising in a tight situation. :) But there’s a strong undercurrent of tragedy in the way she continues to isolate herself through her pride and her decisions, especially because she’s allergic to either admitting that she’s in real trouble, or cutting herself some slack for her mistakes. There’s a lot of sadness behind that finger-snap smile. I’m still debating on whether to give her a good ending, or a bitter one. :( No, that was not a spoiler for the fan-fiction that’ll one day hit this blog.

11) What got you into your favourite activity?(i.e how did you start?) Favorite activity? Like… a hobby? Well the longest-running hobby I’ve ever had is writing (no guesses there). And it was more-or-less self-taught. As a kid, nobody could take me anywhere without a book in my hand, or some other adventure happening inside my own head (which made it awfully inconvenient to get my attention in a mall… but hey, I never wandered off). And writing short stories was always the most entertaining school assignment for me. But it wasn’t until I started home-schooling at thirteen that I found the time and need to write something for myself, putting to paper those increasingly-complex sagas and fan-fictions that lived in my head (because my short-term recall just couldn’t keep track of all the dialogue and plot twists anymore; I needed to start recording my stories to make sense of them.) And I haven’t stopped since. :)

Uh-oh. Here come… my questions. For @mentacomchocolate, @areyntheheartseeker, and @the-irish-hoor.

Why did you name your blogs the way you did? ;)

What would your honest personal reaction be if you accidentally stepped into a fairy ring, landed in a strange place, and got threatened by a fox-lady wielding fireballs?

What’s your dream job in this life?

Is there anyone you have a crush on that you’re still really embarrassed to admit? Would you like to mention them anyway? ;)

If there’s only one book genre you could spend the rest of your life reading, what will it be?

What are the top 5 things you geek out over? (Today, at least. ;) )

If you’ve been given a 24-hour advance warning that the world is definitely going to end (i.e. via Death Star), what will you do?

And if you’ve been given an exclusive two-person escape pod during above scenario, what/who would you bring with you to escape the planet? Would you want to?

If your friends can agree on one thing about you, what would it be? Do you agree with them?

What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you this past week?

What do you remember as your most incredible feat of endurance to date? Physical, mental, and/or social?

*looks up* ...All right, those are some weird questions. I won’t blame you at all if you ignore them.

#Q&A #tag post #blog milestone #200 followers #OC: Zephania

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ratmonologue · 7 years

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you knew it was coming aLL OF THEM

*darth vader voice* NOOOOOOOOO

1. Favorite action film? Does Raiders of the Lost Ark count as action? If so that2. What movie(s) could you watch over and over and not get tired of? JURASSIC PARK I’ve watched it about a trillion times by now and the soundtrack’s been stuck in my head for like a month straight and even now I’m kinda like “hey I should watch it YET AGAIN”3. Any old school favorites (pre-70s)? I don’t even remember how many pre-70s movies I’ve seen I’m so sorry Belle I know I’m a disappointment to you4. Top 5 directors? Idek if I can name five directors lmao5. Favorite dead actor/actress? Alan Rickman was pretty great

6. Favorite movie from the 90’s? JURASSIC PARK (apologies in advance for how many times I’m going to answer that)7. Ever been/are you such a hardcore fan of an actor actress you watched/will watch any movie they were/will be in? I tried with Harrison Ford a few years back. Watched a handful of movies but didn’t even come close to all of his. I watched a bunch of things solely because Richard Armitage was in them. And as soon I find Diego Luna’s spanish movies with subtitles I’m watching those8. What movie are you looking forward to coming out the most? THE LAST JEDI9. Pixar or Dreamworks? I like both but am not a diehard fan of either?10. Favorite animated movie? Disney’s Atlantis11. Favorite musical? …I’m gonna be controversial here and say the 2004 Phantom of the Opera movie because it was my introduction to the wonderful world of musicals in general so... Ooh or does Dr. Horrible count?12. Are you against book-to-movie adaptations? In theory I’m all for them. It’s just that in practice they’re rarely good.13. Your guilty pleasure movie(s)? The Outsiders. It’s not very good (like, at all) but everyone’s just so pretty (and now younger than me… yikes)14. Robin Williams or Eddie Murphy? Robin Williams15. Favorite chick flick? Legally Blonde and/or She’s The Man. I don’t really watch chick flicks so those are the only ones I can really think of16. Ever watched a movie just because you heard the effects were awesome? No17. Favorite indie film? I don’t even know honestly18. Favorite movie heroine? Princess Leia, Marion Ravenwood, probably others that I can’t think of rn19. Favorite movie action hero? Indiana Jones obviously20. Ever read a book so you could understand the movie? Not to understand the movie, no, but I’ve read books after seeing the movie because I enjoyed it and wanted to know more, because movies always leave things out.21. Favorite kids movie? Atlantis, Mulan, why is my brain malfunctioning there are many more…. OH and I loved the first two Ice Age movies22. Favorite Disney movie? see previous question23. Favorite movie soundtrack? JURASSIC PARK. Also the Lord of the Rings trilogy24. Movie that makes you cry every time? Serenity, Rogue One, and LotR: Return of the King25. VHS, DVD, or Blu-ray? We only have a DVD player out of those so26. Best experience going to the movies? I have two. One was when my friend Nicole and I went to the opening night of the first Hobbit movie, and while the movie itself was… kind of a disappointment, to put it mildly, we had a great time poking sleep-deprived fun at it and attempting to sing Thorin’s ridiculous bass notes (I was sick so I could actually kind of do it). The other was Rogue One; I was… not in the best emotional state going into that, or coming out of it for that matter (can I really call it a “best” experience if I sobbed my way through the last 40 minutes? discuss) but at the same time you know how when a movie or character comes along at the exact right moment in your life? Yeah. That.27. Top 5 actors? Currently Harrison Ford, Richard Armitage, Diego Luna, Nathan Fillion, Hugh Laurie28. Top 5 actresses? (It’s a testament to the fact that most movies are very gender-imbalanced that I’m having a much harder time thinking of actresses than actors) Daisy Ridley, Catherine Tate, Carrie Fisher, Lauren Lopez, Kate Winslet?29. Movie you completely regret seeing? Trainspotting was… strange. And very very TMI. There was also this German movie about a restaurant owner’s misadventures that was just no get this away from me this is cringey and gross and also just utter nonsense. I think I liveblogged it on the OT actually. I had to keep pausing and watching it in small chunks because I just couldn’t handle the terribleness all at once.30. Movie you wish was never made? That German movie. Most sequels and remakes (none of the German movie exist though, thank god).31. Movie your parent showed you? My mom showed us The Great Race, a 60s comedy about an automobile race (I’m imagining that in Tony Curtis’s voice, heh) around the world, and it’s wacko and completely amazing. On the other side of the coin, my dad let me watch Bladerunner when I was way too young for it…32. Last movie you watched? Probably Rogue One33. An overrated movie? Groundhog Day. It was so stupid34. An underrated movie? Atlantis. It’s one of the least-well-known Disney movies, which is crazy because it’s completely amazing35. Favorite comedy movie? SPACEBALLS36. Movie quote you live by? Now I’m just thinking of Spaceballs quotes. None of those are particularly good life advice…37. Movie quote that will always make you laugh? The “everything that happens now, is happening now” “go back to then!” “when? now?” “now!” “I can’t” “why” “we missed it” “when” “just now.” “……when will then be now?” “SOON.” exchange from Spaceballs is PURE GOLD38. Film(s) you’ve watched on a date? Jurassic World. The movie sucked, but the date was fun. There was also one about a recovering heroin addict and his pet cat, which I should have taken as a sign that the dude I was with was not a good match for me. There were also plenty of movie/tv-show ‘dates’ outside of movie theaters.39. Favorite cult film? I don’t think it’s well-known enough to count as a cult film as such but it was on Mystery Science Theater 3000, so…. Teenagers From Outer Space, made in the fifties on an approximately $20 budget with no actual teenage actors. It’s…. it’s an experience in so-bad-it’s-good-ness. Cannot recommend highly enough.40. Directors you’d like to see work together? I don’t pay attention to these things I’m sorry I don’t know41. Actors you’d like to see work together? Everyone from the BBC already has worked together42. Films you wanted to watch, but never got around to watching? Pretty much any so-called classic film you can think of43. Favorite teen movie? It was more elementary school than teen, but The Lizzie McGuire Movie was pretty iconic. (Also I’ve seen a grand total of, like, three “teen movies” so)44. Top 5 favorite films? Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jurassic Park, LotR: Return of the King, can I count the entire Star Wars series as one, and Spaceballs. Such a wide repertoire I know45. Favorite superhero film? Uh….. Thor? Maybe….? That’s solely because of Hemsworth’s and Hiddleston’s faces though. Maybe Guardians of the Galaxy?46. Favorite cop film? The Fugitive isn’t a cop movie but Tommy Lee Jones was a great cop in it so that? (I can’t even think of any cop movies I’m sorry)47. Favorite road trip film? The Great Race, simply because it’s also the only one I can think of48. A disappointing film from your favorite actor? Diego Luna was not exactly a main character in Elysium but I still watched it solely because of him and then his extremely underdeveloped character was killed off halfway through to motivate Matt Damon and basically that movie was a dumpster fire. But, like, a really boring dumpster fire. I think I’d rather watch a literal dumpster fire, actually….49. A disappointing film from your favorite director? I wouldn’t say Peter Jackson is my favorite director my any means, but LotR was amazing and then The Hobbit movies happened and just… why…… why would you do this…..50. The first movie you ever remember watching in theaters? I don’t remember. Maybe one of the Ice Age movies?51. A movie that was better than the book? I wouldn’t say Jurassic Park was better than the book because it left out so much cool stuff, but I did actually like many of the changes they made. And I also saw it before reading the book so that probably helped my opinion of it quite a bit.52. Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis? Vin Diesel was the Iron Giant and Groot so him53. A movie that not many have heard of that you’ve seen? Nobody I know has heard of Teenagers From Outer Space. (How did I hear of it, you might ask? It was on tv at three in the morning and I was really really bored that night)54. A movie that changed the way you view the world? The LotR trilogy certainly changed the way I view New Zealand. I wanna go there.55. Favorite sci-fi movie? I know Star Wars is more space opera than actual sci-fi but I’m answering that anyway.56. Movie you completely nerd-out over every time it’s mentioned? Really any of my faves57. Movie that you’ve seen all the behind-the-scenes action for? Not all because there’s so damn much of it, but I’ve definitely watched a majority of the LotR behind the scenes stuff.58. Movie where your favorite actor was the only good part? Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights was absolutely AWFUL and I enjoyed it immensely, because tiny Diego Luna dancing and being otherwise adorable. That being said he was the only one that knew remotely what acting even was and the parts when he wasn’t onscreen were just… really bad. The script was also awful, but at least it was unpredictable (because it made no sense). At least it was the entertaining kind of dumpster fire.59. Movie from an actor you hate that was better than you expected? First I need to think of an actor I hate….60. Most visually stunning movie you’ve seen? LotR was just beginning-to-end scenery porn.61. A movie your parents introduced you to? Didn’t I already answer this62. Favorite genre? “Soft” sci-fi and/or space opera is usually a good bet. Alternately, anything at all involving archaeology. And if you combine them I’ll love you forever.63. Least favorite genre? Romance. I’d like an actual plot, please64. Comedy movie that you didn’t find funny? Most of the ones I’ve seen tbh65. Horror movie that didn’t scare you? Also most of them, but I rarely watch horror66. Favorite remake of an old movie? I can’t actually think of any where I’ve seen both the original and the remake67. A movie that started a passion for you? Jurassic Park. My dinosaur phase lasted into high school….68. A movie that sparked an interesting conversation? Also most of my faves. Though whether those conversations were interesting for the other person too remains up for debate.69. The main movie you remember from your childhood? Star Wars: A New Hope70. The first movie you saw on it’s opening night? The first Hobbit movie71. A move that made you ache for love. ? Is this asking for a movie that hurt because I loved it so much, or a movie that made me want to find love in my real life, or…? (I guess Rogue One for both? It was painful af and I really want a Cassian, so)

#I only answered jurassic park five times ha #(eight if you count the indirect answers)#thanks belle #I definitely can't call myself a movie 'buff' I've barely seen anything lmao #I answer stuff

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