#an astro post i saw about ur mars sign triggered this lol

[oddishfeeling]

inadvertently blocking my blessings bc i am resistant to being “seen” or “known”

but it could very well be true (for me at least) that in order to realize my “purpose” to really step into it, i have to also show up as i am. unafraid, unashamed, unapologetic. i can’t hide or be afraid of perceptions or judgements. i can’t let others treatment of me define my value anymore. for better or worse, i get to decide how i’m treated and what it means.

the way i look has always lead to negative experiences for me. so it’s caused me to shrink and hide and make myself smaller. it’s reinforced my people pleasing and perpetuated this disconnect from myself. but my appearance is my power, it isn’t a weakness or something that can be used against me anymore. it’s my power. it’s essential to how i navigate this world.

i can’t control how people decide to treat me but i don’t need to internalize it anymore. i don’t need to believe them. and i don’t even need to listen.

i’m much more than this, we all are. but i’ll never be separate from my appearance, from my ancestry, and i don’t want to. i don’t think i ever really wanted to live separately. i want to integrate it into who i am. i don’t want to tip toe anymore or placate people. it’s time to show up and show out.

#dear diary #an astro post i saw about ur mars sign triggered this lol #mine is in 10H virgo #10H is the house of public domain #mars #my physical appearance may have a lot to do with my career #what ever that ends up being lol #me