#and delilah obvi says there's not. but. who's to say. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scalpelsister · 2 years

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its oversharing hour on tumblr. cr3 spoilers below but im not tagging this bc i dont want it in the main tags. (again, really oversharing on this one, don’t reblog obvi haha, but feel free to comment or whatever)

god i have so many thoughts. too many thoughts. i think most people know that I am a laudna stan + have def done my fair share of projecting onto her w/ mental illness (schizophrenia and a little bit o ptsd). Like as part of schizophrenia, I experience cotards- for me specifically I often have both delusions and hallucinations surrounding my body rotting, or about me being undead- this was something that started in my second psychotic episode ~ 2020. I connect with undead characters, especially ones who show any sign of goodness, because I often perceive myself as being literally undead. Seeing an undead character in my favorite show- especially after seeing Sylvanas Windrunner being utterly fucked over and villainized wrongfully- was such a comforting thing for me inherently. Like Laudna was a source of hope for me- shes undead, shes weird, people might judge her for being weird or monstrous, but shes loved so deeply. Like it was a reassurance that people like me could be good and kind and be loved and have friends. That there really was hope for traumatized corpse people after all (again, keep in mind, that the last traumatized corpse person I connected with ended up having the writing team say no actually, shes evil for being a traumatized corpse, and deserves to take her own life and go to hell).

My energy rn is not letting me word things how I want to, but I can’t stress enough how important it was to see an undead who had severe trauma and heard voices in her head and was weird and off putting to most people who didn’t try to get to know her. To see her unashamedly love weird morbid creepy shit and see her embrace at least some of her weirdness. And to then see her be genuinely, deeply loved (esp by another woman. hashtag lesbianism or whatever), and be appreciated for being who she is, not despite of it. Like idk maybe its the trauma / abandonment trauma in me showing, but seeing Imogen go back to her, seeing others be unafraid to share a bed with her, seeing others show concern about HER rather than fear of her when Delilah shit happened. Like the amount of times I’ve opened up about my voices- not even bad things they say, but just having them to be met with ‘are you like... homicidal? like are you going to hurt me?’ or the gem of ‘yeah I care about you but idk if I can trust you now that I know that. You will never be allowed around my future kids if I’m not there, because you’re dangerous. Like thank you for sharing but I’m going to go now and think about it before you hurt me or something’. Like its such a low bar but shes honestly the only character I can even think of or name that wasn’t villainized or hated or otherwise had the narrative imply their life was meaningless / wrong / they where better of dead just for being like me. Like I know this may not connect with many others but its so alienating and isolating to see other people like you demonized again and again and again in fiction and seeing the same message of ‘the death of people like you is worth celebrating’ all over the place. I can’t possible put into words how meaningful it is to have even on character break that mold. To hear /anyone/ much less one of my fave actresses on my fave show (which-has been my favorite since long before I experienced cotards to clarify) that being like this and just being alive and trying to love others regardless was worth celebration. That there is hope and love waiting in the future.

I think thats why her death is hitting me so hard. I just want to see ONE character like me make it to their happy ending. Just one to say that my life doesn’t have to be a tragedy.

And I think thats why people are pissing me off SO BAD by insisting she will come back alive / not undead, that it would so cool and fun to see all of that erased. I don’t want that to be erased. Its utter total bullshit to say it would be more interesting or more impactful to see her ‘properly’ alive and not have voices anymore and forget her loved ones and how much they love her. I want her back as she was. I don’t care if others think shes broken or gross or that she should get to be alive again or whatever. She’s been alive this whole time. She’s had a soul this whole time. There’s nothing fucking wrong with her, stop trying to fix her or uno reverse her being different. It was already interesting and meaningful that she WAS different and that it wont go away and that that’s fucking ok and doesn’t make her worthless or bad or unlovable. Shut the fuck up please.

#suicide tw #(mentioned in relation to a different character from a different fandom. its complicated lmao)#(not graphic but does touch on suicide happening)#having a rough one on tumblr dot com rn lmao #I may or may not have ugly cried the whole time I wrote this #my post

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cock-holliday · 4 years

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I don’t think I’ll ever tire of writing thinkpieces about video games but here we go. I recently finished playing Dishonored 2 again and wanna talk about how the game is thematically similar to TLOU2 but imo succeeded where TLOU2 failed.

Obvi, spoiler warnings for both games

I think a good place to start is saying that nothing The Last of Us 2 did or tried to do was new. This isn’t a bad thing, most things have already been done or said, it’s how you say it that makes things refreshing. Revenge stories are not new, hunting down lower-level enemies until you reach the big bad has been done to death, cycle of revenge stories have been done.

The stories mirror well no matter who you play in D2, but it obviously works better if you play as Emily (frankly the story should be hers, but it’s still fun to play Corvo too).

As Emily, you are introduced to a provocative antagonist on the anniversary of your mother’s death. This antagonist, Delilah, has an unconventional and flashy character design. She reveals that she is your long-lost aunt, and she has come to “rightfully” claim the throne. We don’t don’t know if she’s lying, but she immediately reveals herself to be a powerful foe by incapacitating Corvo, your father and lord protector, and then turns his ass to stone.

The story follows Emily hunting down Delilah’s co-conspirators, learning why Delilah is doing this, and rescuing her father from an uncertain fate.

It’s the same story. Dishonored 2 didn’t invent these tropes either.

What makes Dishonored 2 work, however, are 3 main points: choice and consequences, building sympathy for Delilah vs Emily’s character development, and not crossing lines.

The first line Dishonored 2 didn’t cross that TLOU2 did was not killing your dad. Corvo, the beloved protagonist of game 1, does not die, he just gets taken out of play and you must save him. Emily is still seeking revenge for a lost throne, but her motivation is not Corvo’s death. This is not only important tonally, but it influences your opinion of Delilah and others, which is crucial when it comes to choice.

The Dishonored games allow for multiple endings, and operate on a “chaos” spectrum. More killing and violence, higher level of chaos, darker ending. This allows the players to reap the benefits or suffer the consequences of their decisions. Do you kill these people or spare them? The game saying “what you did was fucked up :/” lands much better when YOU chose to do it. Some characters I went in disliking, then as you learn their stories I felt bad for them, and would pick a kinder ending. Sometimes the opposite happened, though, and again, that was my consequence to face.

Fairly early on, it’s revealed that Delilah is Emily’s mother’s half-sister. Grandpa Kaldwin had an affair with a kitchen maid, and the maid had Delilah in secret. The child was hidden in shame. She was treated differently from her sister Jessamine, despite being older, because of the nature of her birth. When Jessamine broke something they played with, and got confronted, she panicked and blamed Delilah. Delilah’s mother was fired for this, and the pair were out on the street. Delilah’s mother got sent to debtors prison and had her jaw broken. She didn’t recover from her injury and left Delilah orphaned when died. Delilah built herself up from the gutters to become powerful and exact her revenge. A pretty gut-wrenching and sympathetic tale.

Playing as Corvo, characters give you more leniency for your connection to royalty, since Corvo was from the streets too, but as Emily, she gets a lot of characters reminding her that she comes from privilege. Emily did not cause Delilah’s suffering, but she inherited the position that contributed to the wealth disparity in the same streets Delilah and her father suffered in. Emily’s journey is very much about realizing and changing how the kingdom operates. Delilah comes from a very sympathetic background, and Emily is an unintended beneficiary of the suffering of her people. An important dynamic to balance out the characters.

By the end of the game I really pitied Delilah. Everything she did, misguided and destructive as it was were desperate attempts to find people who would love and care for her, and to gain control over a life that tortured her relentlessly. Taking out her allies made her realize how after getting what she wanted, she still had no one. By the final fight I actually wished there was a way to rehabilitate Delilah. A third option to take her in, because the game did such a successful job of making me feel for her. The game made me more sympathetic to her than I think they even meant to. Good good internal conflict, an a successful tragic story. It’s also crucial that the tragic story falls on the antagonist to learn, and not the protagonist, UNLESS of course you chose a darker path.

The Last of Us Part 2 is just missing all of that. I’ve already written about the order of the story being a real wall between what they wanted to do and what they did, and talked about how killing off Joel at the beginning really fucked up people’s ability to feel sorry for Abby. I wrote about Jerry not being a sympathetic or likeable person, and the damage THAT did to the story, AND Abby’s lack of conflict and repeatedly crossing lines. Not just with Joel, but with Jesse, and Dina, and Owen, and even her desire to torture imprisoned scars.

Essentially, the things that TLOU2 wanted to do were good thematic ideas, that were executed poorly, and games like Dishonored 2 show how they COULD have been a success.

#anti tlou2 #anti tlou 2 #tlou2 #tlou 2 #the last of us part 2 #tlou part 2 #the last of us part 2 spoilers #the last of us 2 spoilers #tlou 2 spoilers #dishonored 2 #dishonored 2 spoilers

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cthylla-rlyeh · 4 years

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Hi I've seen spoilers for the last episode of LA by Night and I can't find out what happened and I can't watch the episode yet and I need to know please spoil it for me

Ok I’m gonna preface this by saying that I might get a few details wrong, but I’m gonna try my very best.

So the episode starts off with full coterie & X at the club discussing Nelli’s meeting with the Camarilla. The ominous warning about Eva from Suzanne, how they’re deeply paranoid about Ghenna, the Thin Bloods, & Aurora’s idea of using/enslaving them. Which causes Victor to text his contact on the inside (Ib), while X admits that he & Chloe had been spreading rumors around LA’s fortune tellers that Ghenna is happening, thinking that was the reason why so many elder Kindred had been leaving the city, obviously not knowing about the Beckoning. So Annabelle texts Delilah about whats going on & that the Camarilla don’t consider the Thin Bloods a part of the truce. And Delilah asks if she’s seen her friend Blake, who Annabelle hasn’t seen since Nelli’s big Baron bash. And then of course Ib shows up to spill some Camarilla tea (her words), surprising everyone that she’s now Kindred & also the Sheriff (except Nelli & Victor obvi). And Ib tells them about Zellious being awake, that Therese is the one that’s been causing Vannevar to go crazy, & now has a Blood Hunt called on her. Which causes X to fly into a panicked rage, wanting to be the one to kill her for all the abused she’s caused him (saying this 3 times btw). Annabelle tries to calm him, & X calls her a- “Stupid baby that doesn’t know any better.”

After Ib leaves & Nelli is able to finally calm down X, Jasper laments about how he’d wished he could’ve gotten the chance to talk to Zellious. Which causes Jasper to break down, & actually start crying. Saying how he never wanted to be involved in politics (Annabelle’s revolution, Nelli & Victor becoming Barons), he just wants to be left alone, how he doesn’t want to die, & how whenever he leaves his Haven now something bad happens.

Annabelle (I think?) tries to comfort him. By saying- “Don’t you wish I could go back? That I don’t wonder if my boyfriend will survive every night?”

Which causes Jasper to actually snap at her, shouting- “YOU TURNED YOUR BOYFRIEND INTO A FUCKING GHOUL! THAT WAS YOUR DECISION! THE ONLY DECISION YOU’VE EVER MADE!”

Annabelle full on stutters at Jasper’s reaction, & Victor finally swoops into the conversation. Bringing up the women that he, Nelli, & Jasper saved from a shipping container in Long Beach years ago. (Victor had mentioned either in season 1 or 2 i don’t remember) Saying how he’d paid for the girls to have full rides at Griffith College, has retainers watching them from a distance, & even set up a night time graduation so they could all attend, before pulling up yearbook photos of the girls on his phone & shows them to Jasper. The girls looking so happy & alive causes Jasper to actually start smiling.

And Victor follows it up with- “You’ve been dealt some messed up cards from a a messed up deck. But the world is better with you in it, & even if we never anything else for the rest of our unlives, at least we did this.” Jasper answers him by calling him a “moron” before tearfully saying “thank you”.

Campbell then quickly informs Victor that “The Baron of Sun Valley” is here. Ollie, Allie, & El inform them that they saw Blake the Thin Blood get kidnapped by another coterie from Sun Valley called “Junkyard” after Nelli’s party. They immediately decide to go rescue him, causing X to get angry, saying how it’s bullshit that they would rather help Blake first before helping him go kill Therese, before angrily storming out of the room. (but stops & waits for the Coterie at the front door)

While on the ride over to the junkyard Jasper offers X a boon in exchange for helping them rescue Blake, & X accepts. When they get there, they allow Annabelle to go in first & try to reason with the Junkyard coterie & rescue Blake without any violence, but wait in the shadows in case these Junkyard assholes get violent. Annabelle is able to talk her way inside & sees that Blake is tied to a chair unconscious. But when she tries to convince the Junkyard into letting her leave with him, they start to get threaten her. Which promtly causes everyone else to coming bursting in to back up Annabelle. Jasper & X busting in through the back door, Nelli using corosive vitae to drop in fromn the roof, Victor using soaring leap to do a full super hero landing in the open door way.

The “fight” itself ends pretty quickly, with the Junkyard leader being easily disarmed by Annabelle, one member surrendering, & X using dementation on the last member. Annabelle & Jasper interrogate the leader into telling them that Aurora had paid them to kidnap & hold Blake. But X continues to use dementaion on the Kindred he has, quickly snapping the guy’s neck & then starts feeding on him. Annabelle tries to stop him but is unable to, & X drains him. But X is unable to fully absorb the Kindred’s essence & commit diablirie. With Annabelle close, he then sinks his fangs into Annabelle’s throat & casts share the senses on her. Showing her a vision of X diablirizing her, & using her strength for his own ends. Victor not even hesitanting shoots his stun gun at X, while Jasper pulls away Annabelle, then quickly pushing X out of the way of Victor’s projectile. Victor then uses submerge directive on the rest of the junkyard coterie, that whenver they hear another Kindred threaten or talk badly about Thin Bloods to say that ”The Thin Bloods are under the protection from the Baron of Hollywood & the Baron of the Valley”. Annabelle obviously frightened by what just happened, soaring leaps out of the junkyard Nellli uses blink to chase after her, Jasper goes to an almost catatonic X who seemed to be muttering “I’m sorry” to himself, while Victor goes to the unconsious Blake, unties him, & texts Deliliah that they found him. Jasper & X decide to walk to Jasper’s Haven, & Victor waits at the car for Nelli and/or Annabelle to come back.

Nelli tries her best to keep up with Annabelle, tempting frenzy, even screaming “ANNIE!” in an attempt to reach her. But sadly Annabelle leaps over a highway into the night, forcing Nelli to finally stop & text Victor to come get her, seaming on the verge of tears.

Annabelle keeps going until she finally stops in an alley way in downtown LA. She pulls out her phone, & texts-

“You said when they disappointed me to come looking to you for answers.”

And Carver texts back- “I’m here for you baby doll.”

#vampire the masquerade #la by night #jasper heartwood #Annabelle #Victor Temple #nelli g #Therese Voerman #vannevar thomas #Suzanne Rochelle #carver #eva #Delilah #thin bloods #this took way longer than it should have #answered #manic-entity

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vodkasbitchreb-blog · 6 years

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Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Spotify, obvi.

is your room messy or clean? messy hahaha

what color are your eyes? blueeee

do you like your name? why? no bc no

what is your relationship status? single as a pringle

describe your personality in 3 words or less: dumb as fuck

what color hair do you have? ginger duh

what kind of car do you drive? color? shut the fuck up how old do you think i am

where do you shop? at the shops

how would you describe your style? better than yours

favorite social media account: instagram

what size bed do you have? average

any siblings? 3 *cries*

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? hmmm denver

favorite snapchat filter? bye

favorite makeup brand(s) goodbye

how many times a week do you shower? hahahahahaha srry

favorite tv show? ncis

shoe size? 6

how tall are you? 5’8

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? LMAO no

describe your dream date? movies

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? POOR AF

what color socks are you wearing? black as my soul

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2

do you have a job? what do you do? haaaaa!!!!!!!!!

how many friends do you have? zero

whats the worst thing you have ever done? um think of killing someone lol jk hmmmm maybe walking up to the teacher and punching them for being so DUMB.

whats your favorite candle scent? holy water god knows i need LOL

3 favorite boy names: eric dean sam jake jack johnny adam blake thomas antonio anthony tony jordan alex alec

3 favorite girl names annie ruby petal rose delilah alexandra jamie josepha jewels/jules

favorite actor? robert downey jr & johnny depp

favorite actress? eek omg maybe Susan Downey or someone along those lines

who is your celebrity crush? bish pls

favorite movie? anything comedy

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? the maze runner

money or brains? brains

do you have a nickname? what is it? banana assjsjoaoaowowow leave me alone ugh

how many times have you been to the hospital? more times than i can count hehe

top 10 favorite songs: oh helll no flesh um bye idk

do you take any medications daily? noooope

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) dry cause of a skin condition

what is your biggest fear? not being able to breath or have control

how many kids do you want? 3

whats your go to hair style? down

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) big

who is your role model? mum & dad & robert downey jr & johnny depp & granny

what was the last compliment you received? i am good at working with (insert name) :))

what was the last text you sent? NEVERMIND

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? god only knowssssss

what is your dream car? impala 67

opinion on smoking? just smoke ur problemos awayyyy

do you go to college? no

what is your dream job? uhh writing or working with autistic kids

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? what

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no

do you have freckles? yes

do you smile for pictures? yes

how many pictures do you have on your phone? More than 12 thousand

have you ever peed in the woods? yes

do you still watch cartoons? yes

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? no

Favorite dipping sauce? tamato ketchup

what do you wear to bed? sometimes nothing but clothes

have you ever won a spelling bee? nah i aint like you

what are your hobbies? writing and annoying people as in talking until their brains die and just fester and decompose

can you draw? yes

do you play an instrument? no

what was the last concert you saw? none

tea or coffee? probs tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? starbucks

do you want to get married? no

what is your crush’s first and last initial? AW

are you going to change your last name when you get married? if it ever happens

what color looks best on you? black cause im pale but i like colours not just black so

do you miss anyone right now? my dog lol #humanproblems

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? yes

what is your biggest pet peeve? toenails Yuck

last person you called: probs nobody

favorite ice cream flavor? no

regular oreos or golden oreos? no

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? no

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt that says “幸福 happiness”

what is your phone background? something

are you outgoing or shy? shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? yesss

do you like your neighbors? idk them

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? no

have you ever been high? lol

have you ever been drunk? no

last thing you ate? aaaah food

favorite lyrics right now: i wish i could remember lol

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? uh

favorite month? february & december & october & august

what is your zodiac sign: aqaurius

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