#and good and funny and surprising and predictable and handsome and cuddable

[parlerenfleurs]

For years and years I've been alone with the story I'm writing, unsure about several points, unable to find anyone willing to read all of what I've written of it and give me feedback, unwilling to unveil my half-formed plot to anyone.

Until one day not long ago when I thought "fuck it" and told my beautiful boyfriend hey! Can you help me with something? And he stopped playing his game and came to listen to me and I told him my whole plot, spoilers and all, from start to finish, and where I'm unsure and stuck

And

Who would have thought

In like 30 minutes he helped me unlock plot points I've been struggling with for half my life

I always thought when I was young and starting to write, that books, (like drawing, like thinking, like feeling emotions, at least according to my young beliefs) was something authors did alone. What a misconception! Growing up I saw more and more proof of the contrary: long notes to thank everyone who had helped at the beginning or end of so many books, the reveal of Leigh Eddings being enough of a co-author that she's now displayed with her husband on the cover of their books, interviews, the entire culture of fanfiction with its beta-readers, the entire publishing industry with its editors...

No one actually writes a book alone. Or if they do, I salute them as an impressive exception.

But it took me 20 years of fruitless* writing to accept it and go past my own pride, my own fear of imperfection, to allow myself to go to my most treasured person and ask, what do you think? I don't know how to handle this, or why this character does that. And he was so, so much help! He's not precisely a literary person, doesn't read much though he's very smart and emotionally intelligent and likes good narratives, but it doesn't matter, because I just needed an external eye to get me out of my sluggish pit of mud.

Though I do think he's really pretty good at it and I'm really lucky.

*Fruitless as in I never finished a novel, but I did entertain my childhood friend for several years with a hand-written, hand-illustrated story, and my sister with another (that she never forgives me for not finishing), and written short stories and a lot of poems, so, yay?

#Bloom talks #writing #my beautiful boyfriend #I've been quiet about him recently but in case you're wondering: I'm still losing my mind about him all day everyday #he's just #so so so so cute #and good and funny and surprising and predictable and handsome and cuddable #okay I'll stop