#and he can't . he can't and he doesynt want to and he'd never want to.

[matchbet-allofthetime]

Sobbing in bed because I'm writing a Ulysses fic and I'm caught between him killing the Courier because they are willfully giving up all the people they love and all the good they've done in the Mojave and he wanted them dead and gone-

And him just telling them they don't belong in the Divide with him. Not them, not their soft heart.

"You need to go home," Ulysses would say.

The courier would just laugh.

"Go home, Courier," they mumble. "Your signs. I have them all marked on my Pip-Boy. I don't even know why, but I mark all of the ones I find."

They traverse the Divide KNOWING Ulysses will kill them.

They take off their armour and keep only their finest, best combat knife and a gun on them with enough ammo to get them to Ulysses and to give him a third bullet to put in their skull alongside the two from Benny.

They offer him their knife, their gun, and the option for him to kill them with his bare hands.

Willingly. Selflessly. Painfully.

"I could never hate you, Ulysses. Not for this, never for this. I will never be mad at you for this."

And he's caught.

They're a godsend to this place, so much good they've done.

Does he kill them? Or does he bridge the Divide?

Maybe they go home. Maybe he kills them.

And maybe, after everyone back home knows they're okay... Maybe they do belong here, in the Divide, with Ulysses.

#im actually fucking full-blown sobbing #i hate angst. why do i write it so much??? i make myself cry every time #ulysses fnv #fallout new vegas #fnv #f:nv #fallout #lonesome road #ulysses x courier #technically #it's romantic and heartbreaking and i want my courier to give their life for him and for ot to bresk him #because for all he CAN handle... he cannot handle taking their life #not when theyve listened to all his tapes. been on all the same journeys through all the same hellish places like the Big MT and- #the Sierra Madre too. they listened to his words. and now that theyre here they offer their life. #offer to die however he sees fit throat bare for him to snap and sink his teeth into until he tastes blood and eats at flesh- #and he can't . he can't and he doesynt want to and he'd never want to. #grips their wrist where they hold the blade of their knife- and kisses the before he thinks. he doesnt think with them. he cant. #sobbing.