#and i want him to reconnect like i imagine him reconnecting w being asian and it causes feelings of comfort and such in me

[pronouncingitwang]

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#truly no faster way to make me so so ill than the seol and the seolite diaspora DE tag on ao3. not in a bad way not in a good way either #also last week i hung out w a friend i hadn't seen in a while and we joked about diaspora lit bingo a lot #but yeah idk. the way my sister is reconnecting w her asianness through like. kdramas/cdramas and kpop etc #the way i only have about 4 chinese language songs liked on spotify and they're like #one from the CRA soundtrack two bc i looked up an artist whose photos were on tumblr and who i found hot #and one from my white roommate who's learning mandarin #and i wonder if my parents are like. so bummed that we ignored them and made fun of their shows and music and accents as elementary schoole #and now they see her doing this and me. idk. claiming POCness via something i never engaged with in a way i find satisfactory #or idk. the whole immigrant parents being your passports to your language/culture and once they die it's game over #ESP bc you only ever took enough chinese classes to graduate hs or college no more #and kim kitsuragi is suchhhhhhh an interesting look at that bc like. he is an orphan and he does have zero cultural or language ties to seo #like. he would absolutely dannyamericanbornchinese himself if he could #and i want him to reconnect like i imagine him reconnecting w being asian and it causes feelings of comfort and such in me #but like. he shouldn't have to obviously and #one of the notes of a fic in that tag is from a biracial person who says #I flip between wish fulfillment and scrutinizing the degree Kim 'needs' to reclaim his heritage #and like yeah. yeah. that thing #and idk i don't think there's a distinct chinese-american culture the way that chinese-american cuisine is like. A Thing you know #maybe i'd feel better if there was that #and if there was just one other seolite person in disco elysium but i think kim's racial isolation is purposeful #what is there for me but to idk. reread the joy luck club and have another crisis about it #personal