#and now im making a stizzy post

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

mutuals i am so so sorry. but i am going to make a stizzy post

#mine #just one. and then never again #ok like Technically if u think abt it tho. ive made stizzy/steddyhands posts before #those half-joking posts where i complain that ppl who ship it get the stede/izzy dynamic wrong? ive made one or two of those #bc like i DONT ship it. and also i dont look for content of it #but randomly i see fanart or posts and im like ''damn u guys took all the fun out of stede and izzy'' #bc they ARE fun. they fucking despise each other out of nowhere for NO REASON and it's fucking hilarious #i just personally dont like izzy enough to actually want to look for content that gets it right #but i reblogged a post that was like ''izzy and stede would be so mad at themselves for falling in love'' bc it was rlly funny #and it gave me an Idea #and now im making a stizzy post #like an Actual stizzy post not just whining abt how ppl make stede nice to izzy and it sucks #mutuals i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i dont ship stizzy but i cant deny the comedic potential in making their dynamic into something romantic. these two incredibly dramatic gay men hate each other on sight for no fucking reason and are incredibly petty no holds barred. izzy slashed up stede's shirt in a slutty way for no reason. stede called him iggy for no reason. and like this all happens before ed there's no reason for it they just fucking hate each other!!!

so anyway the dynamic here is obviously that they start hate fucking at some point and then fall in love on accident and obviously they're both SO MAD about it (shoutout to this post by @notebooks-and-laptops). but also once they realize their own feelings they also realize it's MUTUAL. minimal angst there imo i dont see angsty pining for stede and izzy sorry. they probably realize because stede stede calls izzy darling in bed one time and izzy moans to it really loud and then suddenly instead of hate fucking it's slow passionate and they're making love and right after that theyre both staring up at the ceiling like. fuck. fuck. i cannot believe im in love with this prick. this is the worst day of my life.

which leads to "i-love-you" chicken where neither of them say it. not because theyre afraid to but bc they don't want to lose. like they dont talk about it but it becomes clear that whoever admits that they genuinely care about the other first loses. lose what? idk their dignity. bragging rights. cannot stress enough how much this happens without them verbally communicating abt it they just KNOW and they know that the other one knows and they’re both trying so hard not to say it but also trying to get the other one to say it first

so they try to aggressively woo the other one with like over-the-top romantic gestures (gifts and acts of service or whatever idk i dont care enough abt this ship to think of examples). and whenever like stede is trying to woo izzy all he gets is izzy being like “fuck off bonnet” and a huge prick and vice versa for when izzy tries to woo stede (idk what either of them do to woo each other and i don’t care enough abt this ship to think of anything sorry). and the crew is like “i thought stede and izzy were past this silly squabbling”

and idk maybe this is steddyhands in which case the crew is asking ed “doesnt it bother you that theyre at each other’s throats again?” and ed (who’s been having the time of his life watching the two of them have incredibly passionate and romantic but also angry and competitive sex for weeks) is like. oh im sure they’ll work through this little spat in no time.

in my head izzy breaks first when stede gets severely wounded in a raid and while he’s unconscious and healing izzy is like “you piece of shit i love you so much you cant die now” and THAT’S when stede wakes up and is like “HA!!! YOU ADMITTED IT FIRST!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!!!!!” and he rips his stitches from laughing so hard and roach has to sew him up again before he bleeds out

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means gay #steddyhands #stizzy #izzy hands #stede bonnet #stede fucking bonnet #dizzy izzy #og #mine #txt #my fic #this is like the fic i would write if i didn’t dislike izzy so much #he is fun to think about. i have made a lot of posts about him. said a lot of words about him #however. i simply do not like him sorry. he is a fictional character and i laugh when bad things happen to him #because he’s not real. he’s an antagonist. i also laughed when bad things happened to jack and the badmintons yknow #anyway notebooks-and-laptops i hope u don’t mind me tagging u but ur post was so funny and like half the inspiration for this