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#and tbf someone as terrible as me deserves nothing nice
socialc1imb · 1 year
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Jazz hands but sarcastic
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Janis & Jimmy
Janis: [Okay, so I think you should go to Libi's room and help her get ready for nursey/fake get ready for school so then no one has any need to burst into the spare room and your idea is he can keep sleeping, whether you will be woken up by everyone else going about their day is up to you] Jimmy: [that's cute Libi will be buzzing and that boy does need to keep sleeping so I will let you] Janis: [she will, we gotta keep her away and distracted, fingers crossed mcvickers are also working and busy today, at least enough that we can get out later if we need to] Jimmy: [there's every chance you'll still get woken up by Cass blowing your phone up because obvs she'd be worried about you but at least that wouldn't be as early as Libi would rock up] Janis: [that makes sense, that will probably be before Janis comes back in the room, like when Cass and Bobby are up and getting ready to go to school 'cos we're likewise faking it] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I figured so I shall hit you up] Jimmy: You going to school? Janis: 🤫 Janis: just going for my oscar Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Jimmy: What you gonna do to ❌📞 that takes it off you? Janis: I don't care if they know I'm bunking Janis: just didn't need them to come in and see you Jimmy: you could just go in Janis: well yeah, I could Jimmy: I get that you don't fancy it but Janis: You don't have to stay here Janis: or have me come with you Jimmy: 💭 about you, not me Janis: well it's nice of you to be worried about my education Janis: but there's no need Jimmy: even Lucas'd be a right laugh compared to me, is what I mean Jimmy: but there's no need to give him a 🏆 Janis: not about to give him anything 💔 Janis: school's never a laugh, weren't planning to go anyway Jimmy: he'll have to wait a bit for the 💌 you wrote with your other hand Janis: That's DISGUSTING Janis: how dare you Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: my hands have been busy nursing you, nothing else Jimmy: secret's safe with me, mate Janis: yeah, likewise Janis: as I'm out the house for a while, do you want anything? Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: 👌 Janis: Left the 💊s in there if you want more Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Did you get your keys last night? Jimmy: Spare'll be [whatever random location it is] Janis: as long as you can get back in Jimmy: be piss easy to break in if we had to, nowt to worry about Janis: you can't move that fast Jimmy: don't have to, that's what I'd be bringing you for Janis: really Janis: didn't sound keen 5 minutes ago Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about, Joanne Janis: 👍 at me dickhead Jimmy: [a picture of him doing it like there you go] Janis: 😒 Janis: SO pleased your terrible sense of humour hasn't been affected Jimmy: *😁 Jimmy: can't have you missing me, girl Janis: I'm getting bagels, no time to miss you Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: you DON'T believe I'm getting bagels? Janis: bit weird, that Jimmy: who the fuck eats bagels outside of the CG? Janis: excuse me Janis: why are you judging my breakfast choices Jimmy: no need to go there to call in sick for me, I can @ my own 👻 manager Janis: I'm obviously 👀 for Pete now you ain't in my way Jimmy: that'd be about right Jimmy: can believe that Janis: you should Janis: very true, very real Jimmy: very 💔 an' all OBVS Janis: I'm sure he'll still hit you up from time to time Jimmy: weren't worried about him Janis: me either, tbh Janis: 😎 and laidback that one Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I’m well concerned about your lack of appetite Janis: Who even are ya Jimmy: SO funny, you Jimmy: never heal if you keep on making me 😂 Janis: That’s why I’m being so 😠😔😒😑 Janis: No 🤡 behaviour Jimmy: 😭🤡🎻 only Jimmy: I get it Janis: You don’t do Italian do you? Jimmy: 🐩🥖🧄🥐🧅🍷🍾 Janis: Of course Janis: sad mime is perfect for you Jimmy: DUH Janis: was thinking Pierrot but you can make it work Janis: Don’t they ALL do French? Unlucky Jimmy: 😭🤡🎻 Janis: Je suis désolée Janis: Yes, I’m very talented, you can @ em Jimmy: [does because no shame and very easy to make that sound saucy and goals especially because they aren't going to school] Janis: 😏 alright I believe it’s you again Jimmy: but do you miss me yet? Janis: Do you want me to miss you? Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: Then in that case I can’t Jimmy: bit rude but alright Janis: s’rude ‘cos you expect me to only miss you a bit Janis: that I can’t do Jimmy: you asked what I want Jimmy: I don't want you to be 💔 Janis: I’m not Janis: I’m coming back once there’s no chance they’ll be coming back Janis: Unless you ain’t gonna be there Jimmy: Do you wanna stay here? Janis: I’m not 100% on their plans Janis: might be easier to be at yours? At least til Ian is home Jimmy: long as you can keep the 🐕 off me Janis: you know she’ll be all over me only Janis: her 😍 are real Jimmy: til I've got something she wants to eat Jimmy: might have to eat your hipster 🥯 here, dickhead Janis: 1. You’re rude and hangry 2. I still won’t let you get ravaged by anybody Jimmy: hang on, I'll send a tweet about not deserving you Jimmy: 🗑 the one I were about to send to Helena now I get why she's always fuming Janis: With big 🍈🍈s Janis: We can get you drugs Janis: Do you want to go drs today? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: Say you’re a 😎 boy and got in a brawl Janis: If they ask Jimmy: ✔ Janis: Don’t have to Janis: But you would get your own supply Janis: There’s other ways though, I can do it Jimmy: It's a 🥇💡 Jimmy: I just Janis: I get it Janis: I mean I think Janis: It’s a risk Jimmy: if we only get one go at it Jimmy: I might end up wishing I'd waited for worse Janis: It’s alright Janis: I can sort it Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: I can get you some Janis: No need for Helena or doctor Jimmy: how? Janis: Why ask? Jimmy: 'cause I know you're not making that much 🐕🏃💰 for a start Janis: It’s not that pricey Janis: My dad was a drug dealer you reckon I don’t know any that’ll give me a discount? Jimmy: I don't reckon you should bother Janis: Look Janis: You remember my cousin, Astrid? Jimmy: yeah Janis: Her dad still is Janis: He’d sort me out so someone else didn’t Jimmy: and what if it gets back to someone in your massive family? Janis: He’s not that bothered Janis: Long as he gets enough cash Jimmy: alright, but Ian's paying, you're not Janis: got no problem with that Jimmy: You coming back first or what? Janis: Yes Janis: You’ve got the rest of the ones I took last night Janis: I need to see you Jimmy: Oi, that's what I were gonna say Janis: Say it then Jimmy: come here Jimmy: I miss you Janis: Okay Janis: [come back and you’ve clearly brought him some breakfast and made tea before you came up] Jimmy: [kiss her immediately because we're starting out extra] Janis: [when you’re trying really hard to be gentle and careful ‘cos it is an effort to NOT get caught up in the feelings of it all] Jimmy: [soz to add to the frustration you already feel at being injured and basically having to hide boy cos we all know you likewise wanna just go in and can't] Janis: [we’re so rude, when you finally pull away just looking him over and then looking in his eyes ‘cos best indicator of everything tbh ‘morning’] Jimmy: [never backing down from eye contact even if he probably should rn because we're struggling not just on the physical level but also with his big brother guilt but obvs we're saying it back as we fix her hair because you can't tell me he didn't mess it up just then considering how little else they can touch] Janis: [likewise fixing his as if that’s top priority rn but actually the excuse to touch his hair and face and anything we can is all we need ‘you got some sleep’ because you can’t tell me she didn’t stay up and watch him whilst the drugs low-key knocked him out] Jimmy: [a look like did you because you can't tell me that he isn't worried that she didn't when he's 100% that bitch] Janis: [‘you aren’t that fun to look at’ but a look like that’s not true obvs 😍] Jimmy: [😍 af back because we're essentially saying that she is without actually saying it] Janis: [lowkey shoving that mug at him like now drink ‘cos it’s a love language honey] Jimmy: [drinking it but obvs giving the 😍 still the entire time and I like to think that she put extra sugar in it like my boo does for me sometimes so he's tasted that and done a lil smile because we're in love] Janis: [for your strength boy, definitely, smiling back ‘cos likewise and cannot help it ‘what do you want to do today?’ Like the world is our oyster and we’ve not got all the limitations, sweeping his hair out of his face and throwing out ridiculous suggestions ‘London? New York? Tokyo?’] Jimmy: ['Amsterdam, obvs' because you literally get offered hard drugs when you're just walking about that's a true story and he is genuinely worried about her having to do this even though we know Drew is basically harmless at this point he doesn't] Janis: [‘druggie’ but we’re being playful not actually shady, dramatically rolling our eyes and tutting, that said about Drew if he’s not with his missus or another woman yet he might tell your mum but we can use that if we wanna] Jimmy: [yeah I think he will have just got out of prison if I have my timeline correct so it's likely he's not with her yet and that's worth noting, but Jimothy is just playfully nudging the bae with his good side] Janis: [probably thirsty for some Alison attention then tbf, but for now we’re rolling up last nights sleeping bag like we’re packing for Amsterdam] Jimmy: [eat your breakfast boy and give her a begrudging nod because the bagel is actually nice] Janis: [‘I didn’t get it from CG’ like that’s why it’s nice lol] Jimmy: ['wouldn't have you back yet if you had done' do he mean that it's always busy and he's not there working doing the most or do he mean because Pete might be working or both haha] Janis: [‘called that about him’ and we 😉] Jimmy: ['he'll be chuffed to bits that you get him'] Janis: [‘I’ll be chuffed when I do’ and putting the sleeping bag away and sitting back down with him] Jimmy: [putting his head on her shoulder like we're so forlorn and pouty about this] Janis: [‘should’ve never of introduced us’ like he did not lol, we tugging at his pouty lip with our fingers to switch it up] Jimmy: ['I never' when he can still get the words out before she's got his lip lol but then we're just giving her a LOOK because that's distracting excuse you gal] Janis: [a LOOK back that’s like yeah I regret it also because it was distracting and now we’re like] Jimmy: [running his thumb across her bottom lip because we always do that and also like well I've got this good hand here we can make use of] Janis: [ACTUALLY pouting because we can’t do anything to him ‘you’ll get out of breath’ brag but true] Jimmy: [😏 because we love the brag 'I'll live' like it already hurts anyway so what does he care is very much the attitude here now since we can't pretend we're fine this time because she knows] Janis: [‘yeah and I wanna kill you’ like that’s the problem ‘we could just-‘ and kissing him with our hands dramatically up like remember the rules] Jimmy: ['it's still gonna hurt' said as we kiss her really intensely anyway so she knows we think it's worth it] Janis: [making a noise in protest but it just sounds hot ‘cos we cannot protest enough for it to be meaningful rn with how much we wanna] Jimmy: [and we all know whenever she makes any kind of noise she gets one back so that really won't help the protest soz] Janis: [we are going in as much as remotely capable rn] Jimmy: [hard same so I hope you took those painkillers jimothy] Janis: [you’re young and hardy and in love so even though you are injured you’ll be okay I think] Jimmy: [the feels will get you through it] Janis: [you can’t help yourselves we can’t help that] Jimmy: [you've gotta do what you've gotta do lads and I respect that] Janis: [we’ll make you do an ice bath or something else to help you later it’s okay we’re looking after you as well as, just looking at him with so much love] Jimmy: [snuggling as best we can because 1. we don't want her to go back out 2. the love 3. we know she didn't get hardly any sleep and we want her to] Janis: [‘we should go to yours before we get comfortable’ but we’re not moving yet] Jimmy: [a noise like mhmmm yes we should but we're not moving either and we're just doodling on her with our fingertip like shh go to sleep] Janis: [kinda chasing his finger with ours around and then doing a little thumb war moment] Jimmy: [that's so cute and you're 1000% getting that look of love returned] Janis: [big yawn ‘you need a double bed’] Jimmy: [playing with her hair because she's adorable and we're redoubling our efforts to get her to fall asleep 'I'll @ Ian in a bit, he'll be chuffed to sort it for us' we all know he is on his best behaviour for at least a while after this kind of thing has happened so we're not even joking really] Janis: [‘braid it if you like’ amused because we know it’s a mess, moreso when we start furiously shaking our head like no no don’t mention him ‘we’ll steal this one’ which is an amusing mental image, mcvickers like excuse me lol] Jimmy: [he is braiding it even though she was taking the piss because he's got a sister and shit parents so he obviously can and will be making a rose out of paper or something for that throwback when he's done 'if you carry it' because remember when he had to carry that desk, there's no chance haha] Janis: [when that’s shaken you to your core because it’s so soft and intimate and you can’t, just nodding like yes I will do that] Jimmy: [just having that soft moment] Janis: [‘you’re...’ and just shaking our head ‘I wish I could explain you’ and poking him in the cheek like how dare you] Jimmy: [presenting her with this 🌹 you've crafted before you stick it in her hair like look how much of a Pinterest mum art hoe I am, I get why you're speechless because #goals '@ Bill he'll give you a hand, might do with the bed an' all' playfully push her down like poltergeist energy which is accidentally saucy af] Janis: [when it’s genuinely impressive but you’ve got to take the piss because it’s too much all ‘round ‘been going to see Asia’s ma, yeah?’ A look like such a hun babe but we’re literally shhed by this sauciness full 😳 because we can’t even fight back or anything to diffuse the tension] Jimmy: [poke her in her 😳 cheek because gotta take the piss too for the same reason] Janis: [‘dickhead’ and going to get up like right we must go now] Jimmy: [stopping her from going but in a soft way not like !!!!!! because he doesn't want to go home yet even though it makes more logical sense] Janis: [‘you can’t go out the window’ like if they come back we won’t be able to sneak you out ‘that said-‘ because we understand not wanting to go back even though Ian is not there ‘-if they come back, we could be quiet til they go again’ because they have no reason to go in the spare room] Jimmy: [an anxious lip bite that he can't stop himself from doing because they are hiding here and it's nice but when they go back it'll feel real again and he'll be watching the clock for when Bobby's back because that's a whole thing of not wanting him to know that he's hurt but knowing that there's shit he won't be able to do in terms of big brother duties even before you get into the Ian-ness of it all but she's not wrong that it makes sense for them to go for that reason and because Twix but DUH that's all too real and emosh to express when you can just instead take the piss about not being able to be quiet so we're obvs doing that instead] Janis: [immediately going to squeeze his hand when the lip bite and then retracting like oh too serious but we’re kinda stuck like well what do we do though] Jimmy: [the audacity of this boy then being like okay come on let's go as if he didn't just stop her in her tracks] Janis: [tryna roll with it regardless because it’s not our struggle so we’ll go either way] Jimmy: [hold hands as you strut on over the road lads, we all know he's gonna smoke even though he isn't supposed to, tut tut] Janis: [not asking for/taking one ourselves to show our disapproval] Jimmy: [a look like ? because in no world has he not noticed this] Janis: [a look like don’t be daft] Jimmy: [passing her the 🚬 like are you gonna take this or what] Janis: [‘you’re alright’] Jimmy: [looking at her again like why are you being weird but not saying anything] Janis: [looks at him like why are YOU smoking dickhead but likewise we’re not saying stop or anything] Jimmy: [thank god it's a short walk so shit can't get too tense] Janis: [not trying to start an argument about it] Jimmy: [get in the house please and see what carnage you're gonna be greeted with because Jimothy has not been there to tidy up and Twix will be feral] Janis: [oh twix gal, just waving him up the stairs like you go, I’ve got this] Jimmy: [trying to get her to come with you like leave it even though you know she won't] Janis: [obviously not, but we will come up to tell him we’re gonna take her for a quick walk] Jimmy: [lowkey fuming because he can't do anything like he doesn't even ever want to take Twix for a walk but it's not the point so he's just 😒 because it's obvs not her fault and we don't wanna be a dick] Janis: Won’t have time to miss me Jimmy: What else have you got planned for me to do? Janis: Well she’s going for a piss Janis: Have a race Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Hmm, could be a bit more enthusiastic Jimmy: might do when you have a more 🥇💡 Janis: I’ll get to 💭 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You ain’t going anywhere, boy Jimmy: it's you who reckons you won't be long out Janis: Okay admit you miss me already Jimmy: or what? Janis: what do you reckon Jimmy: I reckon that's a question instead of an answer Janis: Pot kettle Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Is this you having fun, like? Janis: Mission accomplished for me Jimmy: just you asking questions you already know the answer to, nowt else Janis: Already got you food Janis: What else do you reckon I can achieve in 5 minutes 🤔 Jimmy: loads obvs Jimmy: that kind of mate and fake boyfriend, me Janis: Delusional ✅ Jimmy: *dead supportive of owt you might wanna achieve, more like Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: *for your own benefit only Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: what makes you 😁☀ does me, Jules, you know that Janis: SO sincere Jimmy: Tah, I'll take my 🏆 whenever Janis: You can have whatever you like today Janis: The rules Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: Don’t act like I don’t give you EXACTLY what you want Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: but I don't want owt 'cause you feel sorry for me Janis: It’s not like that though is it Janis: That’s if it’s unwarranted Janis: Getting beat up IS shit undeniably Jimmy: I just don't want it to get like that, alright Jimmy: he fucks up enough bollocks for me Jimmy: without making this weird Janis: Okay Janis: Fair enough, I mean Janis: But I’ve already said I can’t just pretend you ain’t injured when you are, so that’s the bare minimum Jimmy: I heard, you're alright Jimmy: be enough of that going about Janis: And you know feeling bad that you have to put up with this shit doesn’t mean I think it’s your fault Jimmy: it were my fault Jimmy: he's a knobhead, I get that, but I give him loads of chances to be a massive one with what I do Janis: You’re not doing that for no reason though Janis: Not that it’s an excuse for overkill anyway Jimmy: when I've literally had a plan to make him fuming I don't get to be all 🎻💔😭 that he is Jimmy: or even 😒🌧 Janis: Your plan ain’t to get the shit kicked out of you Janis: It’s for the kids Janis: He’s the one fucking up Jimmy: I knew what would happen Jimmy: I'm not a kid Jimmy: and he's been like this since I were Janis: Just because you knew it’d happen, don’t mean that’s why you did it, that’s all I’m saying Janis: You’ve got a plan and you don’t have to feel like a dickhead about acknowledging how shit it is even if you knew it’d happen Janis: It’s a byproduct not the end result and he’s still a tosser for it, not you Jimmy: I feel like a dickhead 'cause this plan's for nowt Jimmy: you said it before, it's not working or gonna Jimmy: only way he's ever chucking his job in or doing owt else is if it suits him, it don't matter what I do Janis: You can always force someone’s hand Janis: You just need to rethink and keep thinking Jimmy: you can always let someone down an' all Janis: You’re never gonna be the one making them stay here, that’s on him Jimmy: I'm the only one who's about to make it better, that's on me Jimmy: and I've not Janis: It isn’t your fault that that’s impossible Jimmy: I don't want our kid 💭 owt's impossible, he's 6 Janis: It’s fucked up Jimmy: yeah Janis: and it is Janis: but he ain’t the only one Janis: there’s groups and shit that might actually help a kid his age Jimmy: well social him, he'd be 😁😁😁 about that Jimmy: I can't do everything and be everywhere Janis: alright Janis: never mind Jimmy: if you're volunteering to go sign for him, Libi'll chuffed an' all that you're practising Janis: Just leave it out yeah Jimmy: alright, calm down Janis: I am calm Jimmy: 👍 Janis: He can come now Janis: So I’m gonna be a while longer Jimmy: right Janis: Shouldn’t be ages Janis: He can’t be far Janis: #parolelife Jimmy: Dunno if it's meant to be comforting or what that you know a shite drug dealer Janis: Shit drug dealers still have good drugs so what’s it matter Jimmy: what's it matter that he's been caught before? Oh I dunno, mate Jimmy: must just be paranoid, me Janis: 🙄 Janis: No one gets done for personal use, you won’t get in trouble Janis: Anyway he just got out so he’s super paranoid himself Jimmy: don't 🙄 @ me for being bothered about you, dickhead Janis: But I’m fine, seriously Janis: It’s safer than stealing helenas even Jimmy: I'll leave it out then Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: You can Jimmy: I just said that, yeah Janis: I mean, worrying about me is not ever something you need to add to your to-do list Janis: I take care of myself Jimmy: never said owt else Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not making it weird remember Janis: you need the drugs, I can get them without having to do anything crazy Janis: I’ve known him all my life, my ma hers basically, it’s chill Jimmy: you heard me say I were leaving it out Janis: yeah Janis: I heard Jimmy: no need to try and convince me of owt then Janis: sure Janis: No need to chat til I’ve got your shit then Jimmy: if that's what you want Jimmy: in a bit Janis: I just need to focus Jimmy: alright Janis: there’s too much bullshit to explain Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: don't need your life story Janis: 👍 Jimmy: *👋 Janis: [however long that actually takes, come back and throw these at him ‘you only need one, and don’t take another til tonight if you can’t sleep’] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [awkwardly hanging round for a bit before going downstairs to sort the dog out with food water etc] Jimmy: come here Janis: why Jimmy: why not? Janis: I’m a bit busy Janis: So if you’re not dying, like Jimmy: you'll be fuming if I come to you, know what you're like Janis: seriously Jimmy: just come here Janis: [show up like what] Jimmy: [a look like no come as close to me as physically possible thank you] Janis: [holding out for a hot sec but we’re begrudgingly coming over ‘what?’ bemused like] Jimmy: [a soft 'hey' as we playfully but softly tug on the braid we did earlier because we love and missed you gal and we wish you didn't have to just do that but it means a lot that you did] Janis: [trying to shrug him off because we know lowkey we're gonna get in a lot of trouble if Drew does tell for all the reasons] Jimmy: [will not be shrugged off and will instead cuddle you because we know something is wrong obvs] Janis: ['ugh, you're so needy' but we're 😏 like bants and not pushing him away because that'd be a step too far even if we are in a mood] Jimmy: [kissing her neck as if she's challenged us to be needier by saying that] Janis: ['oi...' like distracting, 'scuse me] Jimmy: [doing it again but softer] Janis: ['what are you- why are-' stopping 'cos both stupid questions] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ? but also 😍] Janis: ['aren't you mad at me?' genuine q 'cos think he is] Jimmy: ['what for?' another genuine question because we're clearly not] Janis: ['no need to go over a convo we already didn't wanna have'] Jimmy: ['I've got nowt to be fuming at you for, not that massive of a dickhead' because she's literally doing everything to help him] Janis: [nods like okay because we're truly not trying to beef if he's not 'you don't want my life story, I heard'] Jimmy: ['what I said were I don't need it, I told you ages ago, it's up to you what you wanna tell me' we still mean that, we're not trying to get the goss here like one of the gals] Janis: [laying down on this bed and sighing 'it'll be fine'] Jimmy: [lying on her in a very Twix manner like this will cheer you] Janis: [just reacting like can you please be careful omg but a lil smile 'you're a nerd'] Jimmy: [writes 'you' on her and draws the 🤓 'nowt's changed just 'cause you've one upped Helena this time'] Janis: [IRL 🤞] Jimmy: [signs 'I promise' because we all want it to be fine] Janis: ['don't care anyway, it'll just be a lot'] Jimmy: ['I don't need to worry about you, I heard' but we clearly are] Janis: ['worry's the wrong word'] Jimmy: ['is it?'] Janis: ['it'll be a timesuck' pausing like this is just being confusing and I cba 'he isn't just Astrid's dad'] Jimmy: ['Who else is he?' Oh boy you're not ready for what we've done with this family tree] Janis: [rolling our eyes then closing them like it's nothing but a chore/embarrassment and not a mess that hurts us all 'let's see, my half sister's dad, my dead sister's dad, dad's adopted brother...what else? Oh, he tried to fuck my oldest sister, that's about the latest incestual connection we tried to make happen'] Jimmy: [let's take a moment to appreciate the genuine shock, confusion and wtfness of his expression even if Janis can't see it because her eyes are closed] Janis: [lol soz to just unload that on you boy but we're in a preemptive mood about all those people coming at us potentially, literally sounds like it doesn't make sense 'he fucked my ma and her partner, they both had kids with him, the white ones, he lived with my dad growing up, who they also fucked but just my ma got knocked up by him'] Jimmy: ['is he gonna tell your mum?' cos lbr that's what is important here, not the messiness of Ali and Carly which you can think about on your own time if you want boy] Janis: ['might do' 'cos we really don't know 'obviously not in the good books since the whole trying to get off with an 18 year old thing, he might reckon it'll work, he's clearly pretty thick'] Jimmy: [a look like fuck's sake and you still thought it was a good idea to go meet and get drugs off him] Janis: [a look like duh] Jimmy: [just shaking his head because we're not trusting ourselves to say anything rn with how fuming we are/how much we already have to worry and feel guilty about] Janis: ['it's not like he's gonna bother again, not really his type anyway' and a little tap like come on] Jimmy: [the most unamused sound ever] Janis: [just like pfftt in response 'I know I was safe'] Jimmy: [a sigh in response 'and you know I don't want owt if it might fuck you over, that's been part of the plan since there were one'] Janis: ['I don't care, I can handle them so you can have some painkillers' shrugging like I was just saying, not saying I shouldn't have] Jimmy: [about to say that he cares because duh but doesn't because it's extra and she's being really casual] Janis: [sitting up dramatically like fuck this 'I am going to work though' like we just realized how much this all is and we gotta bounce] Jimmy: [going against not wanting to be extra immediately by stopping her from going in a more !! way than we did last time because we don't ever want her to go but especially not like this] Janis: ['don't' like we can't keep doing this 'you've got all you need'] Jimmy: [the actual 💔 on his face though because OUCH] Janis: [oh gal, when you immediately wanna take it back and you literally like go back towards him to say something but you don't 'cos you think that's not fair, so we're biting our lip and blurting out 'see you later' as we run] Jimmy: [oh lads, the drama] Janis: [ugh, idk how you're gonna come back from this hun, we're gonna have to give it some time for sure] Jimmy: [these dogs just going on the longest walk they ever have lol] Janis: [when you've burnt all your bridges everywhere if Drew blabs tehe, just gotta weigh up all your options here] Jimmy: [are we gonna say he does or no?] Janis: [I think it makes sense to do it to ramp it all up] Jimmy: [agreed and we know Drew would] Janis: [he's got form, and then you lowkey have an excuse to hit him up later/stay/so then Ian can't do shit again either] Jimmy: [it's coming together honey] Janis: [we could also do some sibling moment when this does come out if you wanna] Jimmy: [I'm always down for that] Janis: ['cos we can always do Grace but also Billie probably is not gonna be happy gal] Jimmy: [the Drew of it all will upset her for sure] Janis: [we're all triggered] Jimmy: [Tess gonna be livid thinking she's not realised someone else in this fam has a drug habit] Janis: [lol @ the habit it looks like you have, straight up pain pills] Jimmy: [you really have triggered your mother into thinking about Carly's accidental OD] Janis: [lordy the argument we're gonna have to have, hooray] Jimmy: [derailing ourselves here but I do love the drama that will blatantly ensue] Janis: [soz for the level you don't need this and we are fully aware of that fact which makes it worse but] Jimmy: [I just hope Rio don't try and weigh in on this in a big sister way cos gal no] Janis: [you know she will but luckily we can only reference this lol] Jimmy: [we could literally have Tess ban her from the house and Libi off the back of this if we want, like that's enough considering this fam's history] Janis: [it is, I can restart this convo with all this in mind like this evening, assumedly late like when everyone's gone to bed] Jimmy: [go for it boo] Janis: you still not want me to run away? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: just answer it Janis: it's time sensitive Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: 'course I don't want you to piss off again Janis: then I need a place to stay Janis: for a bit Jimmy: you know where the spare is Janis: thanks Jimmy: it's nowt Janis: not to me Jimmy: alright then Janis: I'll be quiet when I come in Janis: I just need the bed Jimmy: it don't matter, you can't wake him with a slamming door and I know my sister ain't 😴 Janis: It'll take me a while to get there Janis: no buses at this am Jimmy: you need picking up? Janis: nah Janis: I need the walk Janis: and you don't need to drive right now Jimmy: I'm not off my head on any 💊s if that's what's bothering you Janis: you're also in a sling Janis: even if it were me that did it not a dr Jimmy: and what, I'm the first dickhead to drive one handed? least I wouldn't be pissing about texting with the other one Janis: I wanna walk, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Sorry about earlier Janis: and this too, whilst we're at it Jimmy: you can leave it out Jimmy: told you before apologies do my head in Janis: clearly my aim, like Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: right Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: or nowt, exactly Janis: nowt very impressive about that Jimmy: I dunno, something to be said for how fast you 🏃 out of here Janis: Well I weren''t helping Janis: was trying to undo some of the shit I'd blabbed and done already, believe it or not Jimmy: got no reason not to believe you Janis: don't reckon me couch surfing is remotely helpful/works in my favour there but whatever Jimmy: I get that you've got it in your head that I only do owt when it benefits me but Janis: not saying that Janis: I did but not in that context Jimmy: whatever you 🗨 girl Janis: don't 'cos I fucking didn't Jimmy: I'm not thick, I were there AND I understand context Janis: Don't act like you know what I meant better than I do Jimmy: not doing a scene Jimmy: your motivations are up to you Janis: yeah Janis: you don't need to tell me Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: never mind Jimmy: how much trouble you in? Janis: it's a matter of opinion, really Janis: everyone's got one an' all Jimmy: if you haven't already said it were me, you should do Jimmy: not a stretch with the accent and that Janis: that's assumed Janis: even if we're all assuming I'm a druggie now, they've at least been nice enough to reckon I'm not doing it alone Jimmy: that you'd come from a family of romantics were assumed an' all Janis: already told you about the multiple baby daddies and child bride nonsense Janis: no sherlock points for putting that together Jimmy: you're assuming I didn't before that but alright Janis: always saying you ain't a mind reader Jimmy: don't need to be Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: ha ha Jimmy: 💕🌹 Janis: we get it, I'm as romantic as you are funny Jimmy: Tah very much Janis: Well everyone's being dramatic as fuck anyway Janis: why I couldn't get out 'til now Jimmy: but you're alright? Janis: yeah Janis: I just can't be around mum, she can't be around me, either or Janis: not allowed 'round nans, officially, as they can happily kick me out without it being rude Janis: and my sister is trying to kidnap me as if she's not actively fucking up her own kids like mother of the year Jimmy: you can stay here long as you want, I promise not to let Ian or my sister chuck you out Jimmy: 🐕 might kidnap you though Janis: They won't know I'm here Janis: and not even my grandparents actually know where your house is Jimmy: Libi does Janis: 🤞 we're above interrogating a 4 year old Jimmy: I'll cross what I can Jimmy: long as you don't get mardy about it Janis: got my own problems now Jimmy: thank GOD Janis: I'm not in the mood Jimmy: I got that Janis: you could act like it then Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah maybe Janis: might come tomorrow night instead Jimmy: do what you like Janis: that's the other option Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: it's pretty obvious Jimmy: shouldn't be hard to 🗨 then Janis: I didn't want to stay Janis: I asked you Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: if you didn't want to stay you wouldn't have asked me fuck all, you'd already have pissed off Jimmy: having said nowt, same as before Janis: no, actually Janis: because I give a shit about not making it worse for you Jimmy: what were it you said? act like it then Janis: fuck you you literally couldn't care less Jimmy: based on what? Jimmy: all the times I've literally said I do or all the times I've shown you it Janis: based on I try to have an actual conversation with you and you won't Janis: you don't wanna hear it Jimmy: you don't wanna 🗨 it, more like Jimmy: unless it's bollocks about how unbothered you are Janis: I've not been the one making shit jokes this whole time Jimmy: you're the one who pissed off earlier Jimmy: and chats about how you might show up Jimmy: like I haven't been worried about you this whole time Janis: You know why I left earlier because I told you that too Janis: and nothing about this conversation has made me want to stay any more, sorry about that Jimmy: if you gave the slightest shit I wouldn't have to beg you not to fucking leave me in the first place Janis: that's no more fair than me saying you don't care 'cos you're gonna leave Jimmy: What weren't fair is you being fake about what would happen when I said yeah to you getting the 💊 Janis: Because I could predict all of this Jimmy: you didn't have to act like it was nowt Jimmy: piss easy compared to nicking off Helena, you said Janis: and it was Janis: not my fault he reckons this will score him any points Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: if he had any sense he'd see how bad it makes him look, it was 50/50 and I lost Janis: so what, you needed them Jimmy: so what? Jimmy: 'course I don't wanna hear how fucked it all is now there's nowt I can do about it other than feel like a massive dickhead Jimmy: it's my fault, you should've told me Janis: doesn't matter what I told you I would've done it anyway Jimmy: yeah, I really wanna hear that an' all Janis: what, that I don't do exactly what you tell me to Janis: must sting, sure Jimmy: that you don't care what I 💭 Jimmy: it does Janis: it's not all about you Jimmy: it weren't you who needed them, dickhead Janis: I got 'em though Janis: even if it weren't meant to get back to my entire fucking fam, it's still nice to get one over on 'em regardless Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: forget I said owt then Jimmy: you're obvs #thriving Janis: don't remember asking for your judgment either so easily done Jimmy: make up your mind, you've either got problems and I'm the twat who won't let you 🗨 about them or you regret nowt and you'd do it all again given the chance Janis: They ain't mutually exclusive, believe it or not Janis: I don't need to regret it to still be fucked over by it Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: yeah, it's well convenient having to beg a bed off you Jimmy: about as much as me apparently having to force you not to go anywhere else Janis: apparently, fuck off Janis: what'd be the point in that, attention? Janis: I'm good for it Jimmy: how one sided to do you wanna make this sound? Jimmy: you literally said the only reason you're hanging about is so I'm not 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: fuck that Janis: I said I would so you didn't have to think up yet another lie about where I am and why Janis: 'scuse me for not giving you more to do Jimmy: yeah, that's what'd bother me about you being gone Janis: I know it wouldn't be ideal Jimmy: I don't give a shit about my to-do list, you twat Janis: don't call me a twat Janis: twat Jimmy: stop being one Janis: alright Janis: truce Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: bit rude that we can't start this whole day over Jimmy: probably would've gone loads better if we had nicked the 🛏 Janis: we'd both have room to sleep anyway Janis: and desire to, like Jimmy: the sofa's massive Jimmy: we could just sleep there Janis: weird flex Janis: but we could Jimmy: might be if I'd bought it Janis: save your money for rehab, junkie scum Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as meet cutes go Jimmy: I'm gonna be SO chuffed to bits to see you there, my dear Janis: bit awkward when Helena waltzes in Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll sort it before there's a proper love triangle, we're alright Jimmy: sounds fake that she'd be capable of owt like 💃 any road Janis: DUH Janis: the back pain ain't real, babe Jimmy: bit awkward that she looks like that then Jimmy: 🐪💔 Janis: shut up, you're ALWAYS going on about her 🍈🍈 Jimmy: that's you bringing her MASSIVE tits up Jimmy: I've never even 👀 Janis: I know the 😎 ain't 'cos you're blind, mate Jimmy: but I am as 🥇 as one of their 🐕s, babe Jimmy: proper dedicated to you, me Janis: that's the right level of 🤮🤮 Jimmy: There you go Janis: well done you 👏 Janis: tweeting it ain't a great use of my phone's battery though so I'll leave it Jimmy: can take care of you for a bit now you're 🤮🤮 there's nowt else I want, duh Janis: natural order has been restored for you  🦶🪓 Jimmy: 😁 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: least it'll stop you going Jimmy: and I won't have to 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: I never said you were gonna 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: but I'll have a go now if it'll do owt to get you here Janis: I'll come Janis: I want to Jimmy: UGH FINE, I'll put my 📷 down Janis: 😁 instead Janis: seemed a bit fake, tbh Jimmy: [of course we are] Jimmy: 💔 the lighting ain't 🔥 Janis: I know, I look mental with the 🔦 right now Jimmy: could've looked 🥇 in the 🚗 but you said no Jimmy: nowt's more flattering than headlights, ask anyone Janis: sounds like something someone who wants to go dogging would say Janis: bit suspicious Jimmy: #datenight Janis: be good to get some other people's bodily fluids in the car before we roll Ian up in carpet Janis: 💡 Jimmy: Lucas' especially Janis: 😱 Janis: the betrayal Jimmy: daily DM off him since we ain't been in just isn't the same, can't help that Janis: was talking about him murdering his BFF Janis: but nice to know you've been up to your usual tricks Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: hang on, I'll delete that Janis: such a slag Janis: always known it about you, don't worry Janis: have to put up with it Jimmy: trapped you now 🛏⛓🦶🪓 Jimmy: should've been more 🔊 if you had complaints Janis: I'll live Janis: maybe Jimmy: you'll 💀💀💀 Janis: promise? Jimmy: I promise Janis: 😁 Jimmy: show me Janis: it'll be spooky Janis: 🔦 remember Janis: [but do] Jimmy: 🎃 Jimmy: you're still top rated, don't worry Janis: good to know Janis: all about the 🥇s Jimmy: 👻 kinks Jimmy: that lighting Janis: can do it when we get to yours but neighbours might reckon you're being raided or something Jimmy: 👮🚔 kinks an' all Jimmy: you're ✔ them all off Janis: you're very welcome Jimmy: you an' all 🚪🔑 Jimmy: but not just 'cause of how fit you are or how it's been ages since you were here Janis: you still wanna be my mate too then? Jimmy: never stopped wanting you Janis: good Janis: me either Jimmy: where the fuck are you? Jimmy: on a scale of middle of nowt to outside here Janis: maybe half way Janis: bit stupid to stop for an argument but there we go Jimmy: you gonna let me pick you up now or what? Janis: mmm Janis: go really slow Jimmy: what, so you can overtake me 🏃 past? Jimmy: #fortheflex Jimmy: I'll let you drive back 😇 Janis: you'd just really prove their point if you died Janis: be careful Jimmy: only 💀💀💀 at your hands, baby Jimmy: Bill ain't having it any other way Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll be the 🎃 Jimmy: your fake tan is too good for you to pull it off Jimmy: soz Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: @ Ella for how to get orange Janis: might be medical Janis: I'll see whilst you're driving Jimmy: eats nowt but 🍊🥕 Janis: bet she can see in the dark no prob Jimmy: don't even need a long lens to stalk 💀👑 Jimmy: go on, if you could only eat one thing what would it be? Janis: 🥧 is actually a good answer Janis: you could fill it with loads of different things to make it not boring and monotonous Jimmy: bit better than 🥔 Janis: you can have potato a few ways Janis: but no dessert option Jimmy: don't even need school, you Jimmy: 🥇🧠 Janis: I'll let them know Janis: hand in my resignation Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: and I'll 🤐 now Janis: let you concentrate Jimmy: but Janis: but nothing Janis: you're already one-handed Jimmy: [the poutiest selfie ever from behind the wheel like okay I'm in and gonna drive but 💔] Janis: 🥺 Janis: see you soon, baby Jimmy: [drive and get her boy and don't die please] Janis: [you can do it boy, the levels of pleased to see you cannot be overstated but reign that hug in a little bit so we don't injure him further] Jimmy: [it's okay we know he's as pleased to see you gal and will cling to you if it kills him and we've got those 💊s waiting for us whenever they are needed] Janis: [trying not to say sorry over and over but you gotta say it at least a few times even though you know he does not care for it] Jimmy: [will shh you by kissing you even though I usually hate to do that trope because how rude] Janis: [sometimes it's warranted] Jimmy: [in this case I'll allow it because you're not literally having an argument which is when I hate how it's done the most and also he would do it rn so I have to be true to Jimothy] Janis: [we know we're all allowing it because it's what we both want anyway] Jimmy: [the feels are never gonna be higher than any time she might run away so] Janis: [instead we're gonna hide at yours and pray that Libi doesn't blab lol, we're trying honey, 'cos this is a lot worse than the shit nan situ tbh] Jimmy: [it is and I'm honestly proud of her for not just panicking and going because that's #growth and he can't go on a full roadtrip to rescue you driving one handed rn] Janis: [this is us trying babayyy] Jimmy: [jimothy will be very appreciative like honestly if we don't hook up in this car rn it'd be a miracle as will me stopping him from dropping the L word at all times] Janis: [we do have to switch seats so she can drive, any excuse and it's really not needed when we're so emosh] Jimmy: [again, we're allowing it because you both blatantly want it to happen] Janis: [when do we not tbh but yes, you deserve all the moments] Jimmy: [I'm cackling as I always am because where are they even] Janis: [lord knows lmao, hopefully far away enough from hers that no one is clocking you and not far enough into town that anyone else really is] Jimmy: [I just picture some random little housing estate like] Janis: [we'll be nice and say it's not getting up for work/school time yet huns, last thing you need is getting arrested for indecent exposure in a car that ain't yours lmao] Jimmy: [likewise last thing you need when you get back to his is to meet Ian getting ready for work that's a hard no] Janis: [yikes lmao, casually try to brawl you, not now, at least Bobby will be pleased to see you] Jimmy: [even though he'll wanna talk about Libi when he knows Janis is here which is a touchy subject] Janis: [just gonna have to blag our way through that for a while, soz boy, I think she'd be at school though like 99% so you can hang out at lunch and breaks] Jimmy: [jj keeping everything from Bobby like it's their job cos he's already pretending to be much less injured than he actually is as per] Janis: [mhmm, nothing to see here babe] Jimmy: [anyway, drive back gal so he can stare at you with 😍 the entire time] Janis: [literally just 😍😊 so much but try to focus even though this road'll be dead tah] Jimmy: [will shamelessly hold your hand like look how easy it is to drive one handed and that's obvs the only reason] Janis: [obviously, not like you constantly need to touch each other for reassurance] Jimmy: [of course not] Janis: [get in lads, Twix don't bark honey we're pleased to see everyone too] Jimmy: [she probably will but we don't care if she wakes up Ian as long as he doesn't appear] Janis: [we know you're on best behaviour rn sir but we don't wanna see you now because we're all about each other] Jimmy: [don't wanna see you ever lowkey but yeah rn we're busy gesturing to the living room and up the stairs like where do you wanna sleep/get comfy and be] Janis: [genuinely pondering this 'do you need to be on a bed?' and going into the living room and testing how squishy the sofa is casually] Jimmy: [just following her around amused which is making me smile cos I imagine Twix is following her too] Janis: [that's cute and we definitely think so, 'we'll try the sofa tonight but if it's no good then we'll make your bedroom work, yeah?' 'cos we wanna snuggle so we must] Jimmy: [IRL 🤞 because we promise and also we hope it'll work because sick of that bed when you know he was sulking in there for ages after she left, but don't worry gal you'll know if he's not comfortable as he literally can't fake anything around you] Janis: ['can make a den if you like' throwback 😏 but actually being useful and getting the blankets etc] Jimmy: [obvs pretending like we are going to for a sec but actually sit down boy because you're probably hurting quite a lot by now and Twix shall calmly chill with you because she been knew] Janis: [sneak upstairs for that duvet gal] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that he's left her a doodle for today up there that he quickly did before he got in the car to get her because he's a nerd in love] Janis: [we fully would not be expecting one today so we're buzzing and bringing it down like 😁 'always showing off, Mr Ambidextrous'] Jimmy: ['can't have you thinking I forgot' because literally first chance he would've had to do one because we've had a busy day of both highs and lows soz lads] Janis: ['I'd forgive you' and a feelsy lean like obvs and also this has been a DAY 'but I like it'] Jimmy: [just casually undoing this braid and combing through her hair with our fingers so softly because it has been a DAY you're not wrong boo and all we want is for the bae to actually get some sleep tonight because we know she didn't before] Janis: [happy sigh and leaning into him as much as makes sense right now 'I'm not going to leave again' which sounds like never but lol 'I missed you'] Jimmy: [literally don't need to still be playing with her hair but of course he is and of course he nearly said that he wasn't gonna leave either because of how much he doesn't want to 'only if you chuck us in your bag' a nod to Twix who is blatantly snuggling with them and probably already snoozing 'no need to miss each other then'] Janis: [probably snoring too so we're like 'who wouldn't miss this?' like it's all bants but obvs not] Jimmy: [pretending like we're gonna chuck something at or nudge awake this poor pup but we obvs don't 'I don't wanna do this without you' so quietly it's like did you even say that sir and not elaborating because we mean literally anything] Janis: [lowkey smacking you with a pillow like how dare you but obviously we're being so soft in everything we're doing rn, so when we're cupping his face like that really hurt and then he says that we can be sincere 'you don't have to' 'we're a team, right?'] Jimmy: [a nod because I don't trust you rn thank you Jimothy and then we're cupping her face and kissing her really softly but intensely] Janis: [y'all do need to shh so go in for this kiss because it'll be everything] Jimmy: [enjoy all the softness and intense feels] Janis: [I hope the necessity of not wanting to be any more extra than we have been already keeps y'all quiet but who knows lol] Jimmy: [oh lads I do love you] Janis: [least you will exhaust yourselves into some sleep pretty quick] Jimmy: [you both very much need some so please do] Janis: [have some before the kids get up lol, never ending truly] Jimmy: [Gonna have to get Bobby ready for school and take him because Cass did yesterday and so your big brother guilt meter has gone up] Janis: [best bet for you is to walk the dog and then go to his room so you aren't in the way gal] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 😁 Janis: how's the kid Jimmy: he's trying to take your 🥺🏆 Jimmy: but I ain't letting him stay here Janis: you've got 2 working feet to put down, babe Jimmy: but if it comes to dragging him kicking and signing I'm gonna need a hand off you Janis: is he too old to promise/bribe with a treat after school if he behaves Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Jimmy: I'd be chuffed with that still Janis: we'll talk about it when you're ready to go back then Janis: what's he really like for tea? you could do that tonight Jimmy: 🥧 DUH Jimmy: #cantakealadoutthenorthbut Janis: are you serious Jimmy: What do you 💭? Janis: taking copying you TOO far Jimmy: it's 🍕 mate Jimmy: he loves chucking the toppings about 🧀🍅🎨 Janis: technically a pie Janis: but much better and more normal for a 6 year old who doesn't work down a mine Janis: we can do that easy then Jimmy: steady on, bit early for 🤯 Jimmy: you and your bloody 🥇🧠 Janis: yeah, I could do with a few more hours too Jimmy: soon as they've gone and the 🐕's knackered an' all Janis: you had her beat for 😴 in the end Jimmy: 💊💔 Janis: a deadly combo or? Jimmy: @ Helena for the full list of ✔❌ but that's one Jimmy: 😴😴😴 Janis: wonder if she has a valentine Jimmy: other than me, you mean? Janis: 😡 Janis: oi Jimmy: you're alright, I'm just gonna post her a card Jimmy: no 🎁 Janis: who else are you gonna send a 💌 Jimmy: Depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you mean for 💔 or 💕? Janis: we'll have to go back to school to see how many couples are left to 💔 Jimmy: When? Janis: when do you want to? Janis: considering we'll have to, eventually Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: of course Jimmy: Ian'll have a massive strop if I leave it ages though Janis: what about we take a week off? Janis: should be doable Jimmy: from now or including the days we've already been pissing about? Janis: you choose Janis: you're the actually injured one Jimmy: and my 👻 manager's actually FUMING Jimmy: gonna have to go back there first Janis: yeah Janis: 💸 calls Janis: that's gonna be hard though Jimmy: should've taught you more ☕🎨 Janis: yeah Janis: I can try and help but they won't let me make the shit Janis: maybe I can chuck it at the people eating in though Jimmy: You're so Janis: you can come with me when I walk the dogs Janis: at least when we're not at school, we can make it all fit Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'll practice faking my customer service 😁 on them Jimmy: before I have to crack on in front of 💀👑 and her 👀🔪🔪 Janis: and if you get bit, we can have another week off Jimmy: I get it, that's your real plan Jimmy: tah, dickhead Janis: 'course I want to hide forever but Janis: 🤏 unrealistic and a lot more rude to sacrifice you to the cause Jimmy: just not the face Jimmy: never earn any tips else Janis: I won't let you get hurt Janis: are all of your coworkers dickheads? Janis: you could genuinely @ the decent ones for an IOU on helping you out for a bit Jimmy: you just wanna slide into Pete's DMs Jimmy: he's already been covering Janis: well it would be my pleasure, obvs Janis: but I'm just tryna help tah Jimmy: I'll @ him Jimmy: don't you worry your pretty but massive head Janis: 🙄 Janis: FINE Jimmy: I'll tell him you'll 🎤 for his band, yeah? Jimmy: since you wanna help Janis: help you, dickhead Janis: don't you wanna be special? Jimmy: the favours were your 🥇💡 Jimmy: I ain't special enough to reckon I'll get away with just 💰🍻 Janis: awh babe Janis: don't do yourself down Jimmy: you've never done a proper shift at the CG Jimmy: dunno what a pisstake it is Janis: okay so you need to do him an actual favour Janis: 💭 Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: when would I have time to moonlight as his singer Jimmy: how many 🐕🏃 are you doing by 🔦🌙⭐️ Julie? Janis: I can't sing, soz Janis: you're delusional Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I've heard you Janis: you've got the 👂 equivalent of 😍s Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're too 🙀🙀🙀 more like Janis: shut up Jimmy: I still like you Jimmy: and reckon you're 🎤🤩🏆 Janis: yeah there's only so far I'm willing to go to help you, like Janis: draw the line at looking that much of a twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you'll survive Jimmy: have to Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: I won't ask you to join any shit band for me either Jimmy: difference is 1. I would do 2. they wouldn't have me Jimmy: but alright Janis: I wouldn't whore you out for favours is the the difference,boy Jimmy: but you COULD, girl Janis: 🙄 Janis: you'd be mad if I actually fucked him though Jimmy: I never said take the favour that far Janis: 👌 Janis: good thing I said no then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: when are you back Jimmy: when do you want me back? Jimmy: were gonna leave you to your 💭💕 for a bit Janis: come back Janis: but do you want ☕🍽 first or straight to 🛏 Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: Just tell me which room you wanna find me in Jimmy: 🛏⛓ or nowt, you know that Janis: okay Janis: ⏲ Jimmy: you want me to 🏃? Janis: You doubting my ability to be patient? Jimmy: or your nursing kink being #ultimate far as the list of ones I've 🔓 goes Janis: but I want you to come and look after me, not the other way 'round Jimmy: and I want you to 💀💀💀 me, nowt else Jimmy: ❌🏃 Janis: I can wait Jimmy: I'll make it worth it Janis: You do Jimmy: won't even ask for a lullaby in a bit as you're so mardy about it Janis: if you can't get me to make the right sounds, that's on you Jimmy: and if you can't wear me out, that's on you Janis: I know I can Janis: and I've got faith in you, for the record Jimmy: I know what I'm doing an' all Jimmy: no need to put your faith anywhere else Janis: I won't Janis: not that fussed about God, like Janis: don't tell Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: he'll never have a clue after you did such a good job on the outfit Janis: more for you than him as well Jimmy: I'll keep that between us an' all Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Dunno about faking I'm not 💔 when you're best mates with him in heaven and I'm left with his fit ex boyfriend or whoever the fuck the devil is meant to be but Janis: you're not going to hell Janis: and I ain't going to heaven Jimmy: Chuffed to hear it, LDR from here to the north is one thing Janis: Catholics are big on purgatory Janis: we're all gonna be stuck there for ages, apparently Janis: I'll find you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: how hard can it be? Jimmy: you're asking the wrong lad Jimmy: might get a 🤏 lost, me Jimmy: have to draw a picture and ask every dickhead if they've seen you Janis: Or I'll 👀 for the lost boy Janis: sounds like something Bill'd approve of, so it'll work Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: we've got a plan Jimmy: be alright Janis: just about Jimmy: [come back boy and find her IRL] Janis: [have your moment honeys now the house is free] Jimmy: [oh the freedom to actually be alone and not have to worry about anyone else for a bit] Janis: [y'all should have a shower 'cos it's a mood and you probably need the help Jimothy lowkey] Jimmy: [the bruises will be !!! by now so we'll all be shook] Janis: [at least it means you healing but gonna kiss every one of those] Jimmy: [what a mood, I hope you do get a bit more sleep as well kiddos because we know that's always needed] Janis: [you truly can sleep all day, set an alarm lads] Jimmy: [only got dogs to walk and pizza ingredients to sort out] Janis: [awh a lil grocey trip, that's a mood, get all your stuffs] Jimmy: [omg yes because that's a nice throwback to when you got snowed in and you made the bubs breakfast and had to go get ingredients, love how coupley and domestic y'all are effortlessly, the gals will be losing it all the updates] Janis: [it's so foreign to how you generally are as people and that's what makes it amazing] Jimmy: [we love it for you] Janis: [we should get Cass a takeaway style one you know when you can buy 'em hot from sainsbos or whatever, in case she thinks this is lame so we don't lose points lol] Jimmy: [that's a good save boo because even if she wanted to decorate pizzas you know she won't because moody tween] Janis: [mhmm, I know your age hen and you're angry enough without us forcing frivolity on you] Jimmy: [it's annoying enough that JJ are living their best life in your gaff, we get it] Janis: [it's been a while since you moved, you can meet your friends soon and feel a bit better] Jimmy: [getting that vday card soon hun, hang in there] Janis: [meanwhile we're truly having the best time even though we gotta do a lot of resting like it can't even bring us down] Jimmy: [he should definitely steal something for her because it's been ages since that happened] Janis: [ooh, what could you steal] Jimmy: [probably needs to be something little because we're not trying to set off alarms here hmmm] Jimmy: [Winnie says it should be a keyring so when they get back he can put one of the spare keys on it for her, though I dread to think what the actual keyring will look like cos supermarkets only cater for kids and huns] Janis: [Good idea Winnie, the funnier the better with the aesthetic clearly] Jimmy: [it'll make you laugh and then be feelsy when he puts the 🔑 on so we've covered some bases there, I'm devastated that Jimothy is hurt so he can't try and squeeze himself into the child trolley seat because you know he would, another time sir] Janis: [very good idea, my boo says devastated honey, also can't race around on the back of trolleys but there's literally all the time, you should lowkey have a competition to see who can find the most embarrassing item for the other to have to take to the till] Jimmy: [there will be other supermarket shops, hang in there lads, you've still got #bants] Janis: [I'd say get weird pizza toppings for each other but also want you to have a decent dinner so don't actually buy 'em thank you] Jimmy: [we love taking the piss but we won't actually commit to making you eat it, likewise try and find the creepiest toys as a nice throwback to China's birthday party present list and the best hun outfits and accessories] Janis: [supermarket clothes pop off sometimes that will be amusing] Jimmy: [and any excuse to go into a changing room tbh, we know what you two are like] Janis: [shameless, like you've not been doing it any time you woke up in the day lol] Jimmy: [I don't think this is the exercise that nhs direct meant for fucked ribs Jimothy but live your best lives] Jimmy: [also if this supermarket has any make up testers on that aisle please piss about with those like you're the gals thank you] Janis: [lmao probably the opposite but you know, only a teenager once, one of the actual gals should come in 'cos we're clearly doing this for when the kids get home, so whoever it is can report back] Jimmy: [love that and I hope you did see us taking the piss, also he's gonna pick out the ugliest hair accessories like we're just gonna braid those in rn in the middle of said aisle, all the mums trying to shop will be fuming at y'all] Janis: [so mad they're not at school like who can force them, will see Jimmy is injured though which don't think anyone else knows yet so you can get your gums flapping about that] Jimmy: [seems like somewhere Hollie might be and it's never you so why not, like maybe Asia and her mum saw him on the school run this morning but he was downplaying it majorly then for Bobby and also obvs trying to avoid you so as likely you didn't] Janis: [I vibe it, you're probably not even being that bitchy just like oh Jimmy's got a sling on btw] Jimmy: [yeah she'd probably just like ?? wonder what he did @ Grace like do you know and then Mia and Ella will be !!!] Janis: [like it IS something scandalous but the odds of it being are so low like come on gals get a grip] Jimmy: [we get it you've got nothing going on in your own lives but for god's sake] Janis: [Grace could put it together about the need for pain pills though FYI] Jimmy: [totally, she isn't as thick as she's pretending to be so we could do the Janis and Billie convo like when it all kicks off but leave the one with her until more like now potentially] Janis: [that makes sense to me too, obvs she'll still be like why can your bf not go to the drs like a normal person but you know] Jimmy: [yeah, that is still very weird and god knows what Grace will be thinking happened but at least she won't be thinking Janis is a junkie so we'll take it] Janis: [fun times babayyyy] Jimmy: [can you think of any more supermarket shenanigans or have we milked this as hard as we can?] Janis: [we probably have, get home for these kiddos, can take Twix for her other walk] Jimmy: [she'll be buzzing] Janis: [can take Bobby to the park that's always a treat after school] Jimmy: [and when he's around you won't be smoking so the bae won't be fuming at you] Janis: [and we can subtly run around after Bobby so you don't have to go as hard] Jimmy: [the teamwork makes me happy] Janis: [hard same] Jimmy: Don't chuck the swing over, know what you're like Jimmy: 👀 Janis: excuse you Janis: that was chav boy #2 get it right Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: convenient scapegoat, him Jimmy: when we get back to school, be piss easy to blame that dickhead for loads of shite Janis: dunno what year he's in Janis: or if he goes to our school Janis: still Jimmy: can't believe you didn't do a Q&A with him Jimmy: who are you? Janis: bit busy Janis: you've called me a pisshead way more Jimmy: should've called you a lightweight an' all Janis: if you wanna lie Jimmy: you can't 🤹 owt unless you're sober, what'd you call it? Janis: tbh I weren't that interested in them Janis: was you who had the questions, apparently Jimmy: I got that from how chuffed you were to piss off with me but tah for 🗨 Janis: obvs Janis: in it for the free shit not 😍 Jimmy: 💔 for them Janis: ikr Janis: Mia'll probably fuck 'em Janis: or make one of the others Jimmy: speaking of her Jimmy: we going to school tomorrow or what? Jimmy: been 👀 now Janis: really fucked up sending their biggest spy Janis: we don't have to Janis: but might wanna get your story out there before they can make one up Jimmy: longer we don't, more of a #scandal it'll be Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: I'll @ Lucas now to chuck me in isolation before they can get the 🍿 out Janis: loads of girls DYING to take your notes for you Janis: it'll be alright Jimmy: not the 🖋 bit I'm bothered about Janis: you know they're crap liars and storytellers Janis: no 🏆👏 Jimmy: yeah Janis: what do you want to do? Janis: fuck them Jimmy: I don't know Janis: you don't need to work it out now Janis: you can sleep on it Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I wanna stay with you Janis: whatever you're gonna do Jimmy: [coming to hug you IRL because that's adorable and we love you] Janis: [OTT being like EWW get off me @Bobby for his sake but secretly giving him a loving squish] Jimmy: [kissing you on your head gal like we did when you were drunk at the other park and you can't stop us] Janis: ['nerd' but full of love] Jimmy: ['you' likewise] Janis: [Bobby probably wants to go get Libi though so we're gonna have to be like no no] Jimmy: [casually ruin the mood there bab] Janis: [whisk you away to make pizza 'cos not got time to explain that ban] Jimmy: [we'll all have fun messing about doing that at least] Janis: [even if we're now distracted by these thoughts, we trying] Jimmy: [he'll be knowing and trying to distract you by being a cute nerd, don't worry girl] Janis: [where should we skip to next?] Jimmy: [we could do them in school tomorrow because he's blatantly gonna go even though he should have more time off] Janis: [yeah I'm down for that, you would've actually brought your uniform gal so you can lol] Jimmy: [easy way to also sow the Harry seeds too] Janis: [you've probably missed a practice or two so we can totally get back on that train honey, maybe we should do that in another convo so we can do the Billie and Grace though, 'cos there might be things said that are relevant going forward at least somewhat?} Jimmy: [true yeah we do need to those first realistically]
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goddamnmuses-a · 4 years
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Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones
Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here. So.. here’s my weird.. live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode ll. 
Alright so.. Once again the opening crawl is very politicy. 
Count Dooku I think is mentioned for the first time in it and Padme becomes a Senator instead of a Queen in it.. which.. is weird. 
The Naboo ships im not sure about.. I like the design but they seem too new and clean for being a prequel. That said they are owned by royalty so i can let it slide i guess. 
“I guess i was wrong, there was no danger at all” *EXPLOSION* ffs Jeff, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut? 
Nooooooo! Not.. Cordey? Omfg that was the worst death i’ve ever seen. Terribly acted. 
Ayy it’s the Jedi avengers, no but like why is like i presume the whole or half the jedi council in this meeting? Shouldn’t they have like 1 representative? 
Yooo thats live action Barriss Offee in the back... hey girrrll ;) 
actually she’s probably supposed to be like 13 or somehting so i take that back. 
 I love just all the traffic flying by the window
YOOOO it’s my boy Jar Jar aka Darth Plagueis the Wise, don’t @ me. 
Spice mines on the moon of Naboo you say? Isn’t Spice a drug but you mine for it.. there are drug miners in Star Wars.. good stuff. 
That elevator would be terrifying. 
Obiwan just like.. LOL I fell into a nest of Gundarks.. what a character I am. .. Love him. 
Anakin like “I haven’t seen her since i was underaged master.. now i can  get my fuck on!”
ALSO ITS BEEN 10 YEARS!?
“Ani you’ll always be that little boy” *Police sirens*
Anakins a little bitch
I think Jar Jar’s ears things are much longer.. but might just be me imagining things. 
She’s not forgotten you, she said your name.. you creep. 
Heeyy look it’s your custom star wars character Zam. 
Obiwan is so sassy
Anakin is pretty creepy towards Padme. 
Those worm things are naasty
Yo tbf that was some smooth lightsabering, they were like an inch tall and right up on Padme and he didnt even hurt her accidentally. I’d have killed her there. 
Obiwan just fucking dives out the window like its nothing. Mad man. 
Zam is the worst, instead of shooting Obiwan she shoots her own damn droid. 
Damn it Anakin, he’s told you to stay away from power couplings. 
Obiwan is just gonna be like “FFS ANAKIN!” this entire movie... well.. Saga. 
I wonder how Jedi pick their robes because like some are very similar and then theres like a few that have darker leather stuff, it’s like there’s a jedi stylist or something.. Someone make that OC. 
 Amazing catch Obi. 
So Obiwan is his real name but he goes by Ben later on and then Ben Solo is named after him but shouldn’t it be Obiwan Solo? 
A changeling, she really is a custom character. 
Yoo that Twilek wasn’t stupidly thin, I’m here for Thicc Twilek. 
What species is Death Stick guy! I wanna know what he does with his life after he rethinks it
I hope it backfires and he’s like “Hey.. I could be doing so much more” and he ends up like the head of a crime family. 
She didnt even change.. so much for changeling. 
....she did when she died i take it back. 
Damn the background Jedi are ugly. 
I like how this shows that Palpatine has already begun manipulating Anakin. 
Still dont understand why Jedi see the balance being a good thing when it’s leaning heavily towards the light side right now. 
Anakin “IM READY FOR THE TRIALS!” .. you aint. You a moody bitch.
I like Padme’s dress. 
Anakin just got warned to back down because he’s being a creep. 
Omfg whats that rape face. 
Dormy or whatever her name is, better actress than Padme. 
Poncho! Cal approves. 
WOO ITS DEX!
Jawa Juice? Ew.
Wtf is the Rishi maze?
Dex suddenly went sinister at the end, why? 
Yess the librarian! She’s the best. I think she has a badass Order 66 story if im remembering correctly. 
She’s very sure about her records though.. calm down lady. 
“No droids” says the droid to the other droid. 
So i presume the head of the Jedi Council is always the one who looks after the younglings. 
Awwh the little babies and they’re all gonna get killed by Creep Vader. 
Yoda is so soft, good dad figure. Best boy. 
They elect queens on Naboo.. thats interesting. 
I love the Jedi fighter look. 
HOLD THE FUCK UP THEY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KAMINO 
THERE WAS A FUCKING LONG NECKY ALIEN ON THE JEDI COUNCIL IN EP 1.. 
.... some bullshit. 
I should really look into Sifo Dyas
And Why are there not more Clones in Star Wars... 
Other than like.. .. spoilers for.. you know what nevermind. 
I DONT LIKE SAND! HE SAID THE THING
Anakin you creep
Why the fuck would Padme even lean in at all? He’s been nothing but a creep and she’s shown 0 interest in him at all so far. 
The Camino people are pretty chill. 
That was the first bit of actual chemistry between Padme and Anakin 
Omfg the pear, fuck off. 
Also forgot to comment but theres some clear like.. oohhhhhh moments im having with how order 66 got set up. 
Has Padme had an outfit change again?
She’s got her sexy outfit on to turn him down.. seems right. 
Her make up is a bit.. much
Sooo the force is weaker with the jedi because the light sides had it so good for so long that the force is trying to balance out and bring it back the other way, makes sense. 
It’s actually his connection to his mom that brings him towards the darkside to start.. nice. 
Padme trying to be inconspicuous is super conspicuous 
I like that the droid said okey dokey. 
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY WATTO
YAAAAY ANI SPEAKING HUTTESE
I love how Watto is happy to see Ani. 
Watto doesn’t deserve the shitty life he ended up with. 
Love some New Zealander up in my Star Wars. 
Seismic charges have such good sound design. 
Thats one hell of a missile. 
Eyyyyy it’s c3p0 it’s amazing how much i’d forgot of this. 
Tusken Raiders are dicks. They know sign language but they’re dicks. 
Even Anakin is like “These are good people”, good. They’ll raise your son. 
Is that general grevious’ voice? 
What the fuck are these aliens
Awwwh noooo she waited just to die in her sons arms. 
Tbf i’d go full darkside if someone tortured my mom. 
You know what.. this Ani is nothing like the ones from the cartoon, he seems like less of a whiney bitch in the clone wars but we’ll see.. 
Cleg Lars’ hover chair is pretty dope. 
Anakin got over hating Obi Wan real quick. 
Even captured Obiwan is a sassy boy. 
Jar Jar as badass as he is.. is basically putting the Sith Lord in charge. 
So far if you dont know that palpatine is the Sith there isnt really anything obvious telling you which is pretty interesting. 
Padme has had another outfit change, another iconic look. 
And so behind the adventures of r2 and c3po
C3PO had a costume change, he’s been watching Padme. 
The fake out they have you thinking Padme is covered in magma is pretty good
Okay then suddenly she loves him.
Also bye bye lightsaber
Genosians are pretty gross
In my head they were always the same as Toydarians for some reason
I like that bug monster, i remember killing them in one of the older battlefront games.. as maybe Aayla Sekura but maybe i made that up. 
Anakin surely got the best one to fight. He basically tames it.
The fucking peck on the cheek, was that needed? 
Droidekas are still cool as fuck. 
Suddenly Jedi. 
The Jedi that made it up to Dooku is terrible, he cant even reflect a few blaster blasts.
Well.. Jango lost his head. 
The smile on that green jedi’s face is beautiful, what a beautiful alien man. Kit Fisto.
Obiwan is an icon. 
Dooku is pretty reasonable all things considered. 
Woo clones!
“Around the survivors, a perimiter, create.” Yoda.. just speak normally damnit. 
Yoo what if Jaro Tapal shows up in the new Clone Wars cartoon season.. i’d lose my shit. 
I like Dooku’s bike. 
Anakin you dumb fuck. 
I always thought Dooku’s curved lightsaber was weird. 
Rey should have done this sick ass catching the lightning trick instead of the two lightsabers. 
Jedi flips all over the place woop. 
As obvious as it is that Palpatine is the hooded Sith, i feel like they dont show his full face because i feel like a little kid might not be able to tell. 
I kinda like how it shows a bunch of clones (the basic start of the stormtrooper) and then star destroyers and it’s like.. heres where the empire started. 
Aaaaaand they’re married? so yeah.. congrats Ani you creeped your way into being a husband. 
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