#and while I’m an Orym defender until I die

[alliekitaguchi]

one thing I’m hoping is addressed in future episodes is the fact that laudna sometimes acts like she’s the only one who’s ever been through her own trauma. and yes, what she’s been through is AWFUL, but everyone has been through something

- laudna was tricked, tortured, hung, revived, and wandered the world for about 30 years by herself before she found Imogen (though Marisha has stated there was someone before Imogen, but that hasn’t come up in game yet), and then died again, before being revived again. she has delilah in her head, which is Not Great, but laudna consciously brought her back

- imogen was abandoned by her mother at a young age and grew up with an absent father, who revered her as a freak, and was an outcast everywhere she went

- fearne was abandoned by her parents and has had her life be in the hands of others for over 100 years, mainly her “grandmother”, who has been stretching their time together to keep her longer. she’s also been killed, and found out that she was a purposefully made by a villain for some nefarious purposes

- ashton lives every single day in pain, grew up in a cult, died, woke up in a new body that was broken, didn’t know anything about himself, has been alone since he was a child, exploded into a thousand pieces before painfully reforming with new, more “broken” body parts

- fcg was an assassin bot that sat untouched for 2,000 years before being brought to life and thrown headfirst into society with no help or instructions, and then died tragically

- chetney has lived over 300 years by himself because his family abandoned him and he had to come to terms with the fact that they’re all likely dead, and the loss messed him up so bad that he’s avoided making meaningful connections with people ever since, and he literally JUST died, was revived, and watched the person who deemed him worthy of saving sacrifice themself

- orym watched the love of his life and his father figure be cut down in front of him, watched his friend accept a cursed crown that permanently changed her, was killed and revived

there’s no denying that she’s been through something horrendous, but she has to make the conscious choice to get better. to quote matt & marisha both: laudna is an addict, and she digs herself into her grief so deeply that she can’t see the cracks in everyone else.

she was right that orym should’ve talked to the whole group before taking otohan’s sword, but she was a hypocrite because she tried to steal it off of him. the sword is the source of her trauma, but it’s the source of orym’s too. she told chetney to not talk to her about loss after learning just mere weeks ago that he lost his entire family in one day.

i thought dorian put it beautifully: “it’s just a thing.” it only holds power over you if you let it. she’s dead. the blade no longer hurts you unless you let it.

there’s something so riveting about watching the nuances of trauma unfold in juicy, juicy ways

#in case any of y’all cannot read: this is not a critique or criticism #I think laudna is beautifully complex and wonderful and I just want to see this plot thread explored further #and while I’m an Orym defender until I die #I 100% get laudna’s points and I agreed with her about some stuff #but there has to be balance and what she’s doing is not good #laudna #critical role #bells hells

[utilitycaster]

So I got these several questions:

And while I am going to go into far more depth, this anon basically answered it; this is spot-on.

This isn’t the first person to note that Laudna feels far more like a doting but a little clueless older relative to Imogen than a partner, at least at this point, and I happen to agree.

I’ll admit, as I did in the post, it took me a bit to warm up to this even becoming a romantic relationship in the future because there was some very blatant and irritating migratory (fem)slash fandom within 30 seconds of them appearing on screen together but I can see a future for it; it’s just that it’s very much not there yet and it feels like there needs to be some sort of break or confrontation to get there.

The second anon, I have to admit, is a little odd to me because something that has struck me is that, despite Imogen and Laudna traveling together for two years and being close friends, they seem to know very little about each other. I think Orym has told more to Fearne and Dorian, and it seems to me like Yasha and Molly or Fjord and Jester were more aware of each other's respective backstories from the start of their campaign despite having known each other for much less time. Imogen and Laudna in may ways feel, well, like roommates in an early adventuring party: I’d die for you, but I don’t really know you. And because of who they are: someone who very much doesn’t engage with negative thoughts, and someone who is in many ways so exhausted by day-to-day existence that she’s unlikely to make things harder, and because they haven’t had anyone else, I think it will take quite some time for this all to bubble to the surface. It may not be a screaming fight (that was to be fair directed a lot more towards Stede/Blackbeard than Imogen/Laudna), but I don’t see this being a relationship that can deepen in the long run until there is some sort of serious and difficult discussion that will probably be hurtful and awkward even if both come in from a place of good faith.

I also, and this is where this gets entirely subjective, just think “well, they were friends already so they just get closer and then they kiss” is so fucking boring. I feel like the second anon is trying to defend this by saying they liked conflict elsewhere and it’s like...conflict is like salt. Doesn't matter if it was in the other dish; you need some here too. Healthy relationships have conflict, this is a show where the episodes get into the 100 range, every romantic and most platonic relationships in C1 and C2 had some degree of conflict, and the mere act of turning a longstanding friendship into a romantic relationship is in itself a very difficult conversation, given the implications that has for the future of a friendship should things not work out. There has been a real shake-up: they no longer are solely reliant on each other. If Imogen says “no, actually, I’m terrified and I don’t have the answers and I need you to stop acting like I’ll be fine because I’m not and also I find your rat really unsettling”, she won’t be on her own; she’ll still have the rest of the party. That hasn’t been true until the past couple weeks, in-game.

(I alluded to this above, but the problems I have with Imogen/Laudna are remarkably similar to the problems I ultimately felt about with Beau/Jester, both in terms of the canon relationship and especially in terms of the fanon relationship; but in the case of Imogen and Laudna I think there’s still plenty of time for the characters to work through those issues.)

#cr tag #tenser's floating discourse #(just in case) #long post