#and you never forgot the way it felt

[dappermouth]

Songs for a strange summer — a dog running in the field across the road, the hiss of insects rising up from the canal. Dream or memory.

#illustration #(drew a little 'album art' for this one) #playlists #surreal #spotify #dog #dreamy #western #americana #hound on the horizon #and you never forgot the way it felt #jennabarton

[coconut530]

Here’s two doodles (late night edition)

#Malevolent #Malevolent Podcast #6 #WOW LIKE WHERE DO I EVEN START #First like them talking and stuff #John sorry bby you felt isolated but I mean come on friends never hurt anyone #And NOEL!!! Frickin’ love this guy #SO MUCH USEFUL INTEL WHAAAAT. CHARON TREASURER ORDER SIGIL LIKE SO CRAZYYYYY #AND JOHN WAS PART OF THE CONVERSATION!!! I have no idea why the second Arthur started talking I just burst out laughing for like. #So many minutes #But it was so wholesome and gratifying! Like we only get this type of freedom with Kayne bc he can hear John so having a trustworthy friend #Hearing us is nice #Unrelated but soundscapes were really good this ep like dang surely one of my fave eps of the season #And then um. Whatever Aldrich and Percival scenes were #That story was kinda cute I forgot about it way to tie it back to the beginning during the penultimate #JOHN STOP FORGETTING THINGS WE NEED TO BE PAST THIS #MARIE GIRL I’LL MISS YOU YOU WERE VERY FUN AND EPIC AND OUR FIRST WOMAN CHARACTER SO UHH YEAH #ALSO YOU TALKING ABOUT UR SON MADE ME WANT TO CRY OKAY HAHAHA #Noel!!! He’s just the best I tell ya #WHEN HE WAS LIKE UR OFFICE CUMMINGS DREAMLANDS KING IN YELLOW PRISON PITS THE CANA ADAM FRY LIKE OH MY GOOOOOOODDDDDDDD #I DIED IT WAS LIKE SO CRAZY HE LIKE KNOWS SO MUCH IS SO SIMILAR TO US IT’S CRAAAAAAZY #AND DUDE IT’S REALLY HARD TO NOT CALL YOU NOEL STILL #WE GONNA BREAK! IN! AND IT’S GONNA BE EPIC! #ANS THEN WE’RE OFF TO ENGLAND!!! WHAT I’M SO EXCITED #FIRST MIZU FROM BLUE EYE SAMURAI GOES TO ENGLAND AND NOW ARTHUR WHAT A TREAT #MALEVOLENT’S SO COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL

[thedrotter]

sweet sweet re:kinder community... I would like to ask y'all how you came upon the game and your experiences with it because i wanna know. im genuinely so curious to hear about other people's experiences and little opinions about this game because of how wild the game is (/pos) I'd love to hear it. do ramble to me about it

#re:kinder #not art #so in my case i once saw someone talk about it in a video and some scenes with the very vague context really struck with me #i was like wow...that is so sad... i wonder what goes on #but the thing is i watch videos talking about games like that ALLL THE TIME while im multi-tasking so i FORGOT FOR A YEAR?!?!? #until one day i was sick in pain on my bed could not move. and then it came to me. yes. “RE:KINDER. I SHOULD PLAY IT.” LIKE OUT OF NOWHERE #i will never understand how i dying of pain remembered a game i saw once BY NAME AT LEAST A YEAR LATER when jve heard of so many games #and you wanna know why it stuck with me. i saw in the video an image of the “as if id be reborn as a princess” line #i did not know the context but it was devastating #AND WHEN I PLAYED THE GAME when that scene game i was shocked to silence😭😭 BECAUSE I BASICALLY WENT COMPLETELY BLIND?? #I DID NOT KNOW THE LITTLE KID WOULD BE THE ANTAGONIST???? AND THAT HE WOULD HAVE SUCH A SAD STORY?? #like. i saw the sad coming i knew it was bound to happen yet i could have never been prepared for how hard it would hit me #I HAD TONS OF FUN but at first when i finished it i was so confused and so lost i was like welll.....what a game... TOO STUNNED FOR WORDS #then i thoughr of it for 20 minutes and bawled my eyes out and realized it was art #so when i got to my second playthrough i CRIED LIKE CRAZYYY😭😭 I WAS BLOWN AWAY IT REALLY HITS YOU #personally it admittedly hit close to home and while it made me bawl my eyes out it was also very comforting i felt very understood #AND IT WAS CRAZY FUN TOO i was not bored once the first time i played through it i was sleepy but i was so excited to keep playing😭😭 #its funnt becayse i was initially apprehensive about playing cuz im sensitive to stories where sad things happen to kids #but i played it regardless because i was like “but what if its one of those scary media that hit close to home and i enjoy” #AND I WAS RIGHT. BUT NOT ENTIRELY BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD HIT AS INTENSELY AS IT DID😭😭 IT WAS MYCH MORE THAN EXPEVTED #many ways in which it impacted me but if i started listing them i would not shut up . so for now it is enough #IN SUMMARY WOW.. WHAY A GOOD GAME!! PLAY RE:KINDER!!! #i rambled more than i intended to i do apologize

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

I have to put fresh sheets on my bed and make it but I've just been sitting on my bare mattress for the last 20 mins ranting to myself about this damn show

#again rewatching this with a developed adult brain is CRAZY #and I'm catching so many things I didn't notice before #and it's making everything feel even more !!! than the first time I watched the show #like!!!!like!!! somehow I never caught onto how such a strong part of flint's grief comes from the fact that he didn't try and rescue Thomas #and how his actions led to all of this happening in the first place #he could have sided against Thomas with his father. and they never would've had any of the mess that came with angering Dad #but that just wasn't possible to him anymore #because of what he felt for Thomas he had to defend his ideals. the ones they shared #and after all that. KNOWING that HE was partly responsible for what happened to Thomas!! just how painful it is that he walked away. #and fled to Nassau. and didn't do anything to try and help Thomas #like!!! the GUILT that must cause!!! the ANGUISH!!! no WONDER he's Like That Jesus Christ #and like!!! oh my GOD Toby Stephen's acting is outstanding in this #the way you could feel the palpable shift right after flint hugs Miranda. while Ashe is telling them how he can wisk them away to someplace #else in Europe. and james steps back!! you could see it in his EYES that that is the moment when Captain Flint starts to form #and you can hear it in his voice. the barely perceptible shift. that he reached his breaking point #also I completely forgot about the surprise Vane attack at the end of that episode and I nearly screamed #black sails #ALSO!!!!!! going through all of this with the knowledge that Miranda dies T^T and that Thomas is actually alive and they get reunited #is tearing my soul apart I think #these sheets may not be going on my bed tonight.....

[belovedisaster]

i am rereading a bunch of the arc 2 books (super bored) and honestly..why does NOBODY ever draw the side characters from these...like onyx, sirocco and rattlesnake, vulture, cobra, TYPHOON...... liosten to me

#im just picking them up and putting them down #i think darkness of dragons is a little odd in the way it handles #poverty and crime in the scorpion den #but qiblis family is really compelling...i really missed vulture i hated him so much #and cobra #fucking crying #i felt for qibli because i forgot she was just being nice to him to get his trust #it made me so fucking upset #also tui is not as bad of a writer as i remember #i think the protagonists are really bland #i get bored listening to. winter and qibli and moon babble all the time #and qibli becomes a kind of milquetoast pov when he stops doing his like...analysis #overthinking thing #though i guess you could put that down to his character development and becoming more relaxed BUT #THATS NEVER STATED #AND ALSO HE HAS NO REASON TO RELAX OVER THE COURSE OF DOD #but umm back to what i said about the scorpion den #its kind of gross and really revealing what tui about poverty or areas of poverty with the scorp den #there are definitely exceptions to some things ill say but #1. winter being a total dick about the poorer dragons in the sd and never getting anything for it and never having that challenged #LITERALLY CALLING A QIBLI A STREET THUG #and its just accepted by qibli being like #Well hes a prince. I guess he cant help it. I guess #2. the outclaws come off weird to me #and its weird how every dragon thats not an outclaw or accepted into them (usually translating to #special and smart and educated or having special talents) #is listed off as just being like. dumb and poor #but im especially thinking about sirocco and rattlensnake who are like #just as much victims of circumstance as qibli with a shitty mom but its fine because theyre stupid and violent #it feels like tuis going. Theres so many criminals and peddlers and p**rs in the scorpion den but qibli is special and good and should be li

[sunnys-sonnets]

After seeing the art that inspired you- why Hint Of Magic? how was that idea even formed, how did you come up with all the world-building and the smut? (I am always in awe)

I remember looking at the art and trying to make it make sense. And that made a story come of it. A fairy sitting on a knight's shoulder? How did that come to be? Especially with this pairing? Shouldn't they hate each other? Why don't they hate each other? No one is stopping them? Or maybe these meetings and "relationship" is a secret that they both want to keep. But why would Heimdall care about a random fairy? There has to be an incentive for him to keep seeing and meeting with this fairy until they're going to eventually get along. Alright. Give Heimdall a mission from Odin. Easy. Gather fairy dust. They fairies? They're like the Jotunar in GoW. Dangerous and mysterious. But Atreus cute and sweet so Heimdall would have to find it endearing eventually. Their relationship grows, oh no, but they are enemies and Heimdall knows it'll never work and Atreus is stuck in the forest never to leave it even if he wanted to. Boom plotline scraped from cute fanart and GoW.

Ploy's artwork for sure inspired me (and other artists too!) and I think I wanted more of it or stuff like it. And at the time, I needed some variety in what I was writing, I needed a little break from "Mischief and Foresight" so I devised a plan. If I made a fanfiction on the artwork and it was well-liked and well-received then that would mean that more fanart would be made of it, right? Wrong and egotistical. But it was super fun to write and then Lore accidentally kept coming up and it kept expanding??? Like, pretty sure it was going to only have like one or two chapters but it kept growing and I still hope people like it but I often leave it to the side since it's just a side AU

#A Hint of Magic fic #I like A Hint of Magic but I'm a little insecure about it because it doesn't follow the main plotline of GoW or a big AU people like #and at the time I think I was saddened that it wasn't liked like “Mischief and Foresight” was so it felt like a sign like I should stay #in my lane or just stick with what people like #I think I was comment-hungry and that's why #It's like I forgot why I started writing Heimtreus to begin with #because I loved the ship and loved Chaos in an Archer Suit and wanted to expand the story in a spinoff and show my love for it #So I might have poisoned it for myself by desperately trying to write in ways that I though would get people to like it when it #never got the reactions I wanted & it got me all upset so I might have been disillusioned & then dropped the fic for a while because of it #And that's on me and no one else because I did that to me #No one should be forced to like my work or feel guilt-tripped by this #it just shows me that I really have to learn to write for myself because I have to love what I do because unless I'm being paid #fuck everybody else #Sorry for the VENTING and throwing all my baggage at you! That was definitely NOT what you asked 😅🤣 #The World-Building is because I like making things make sense and making a story from it and the smut is because I wanted people to like me #so that's pretty much the answer that you did sorta ask #begging people to ignore the fucking ESSAY in the tags! Like Please! I'm just Bitching! I'm just pissing & crying over here! LOOK AWAY #heimtreus #sunny's answers

[acoldfrenchfry]

Something great about adulthood is that you literally never have to be around people who don't respect you ever again. If you're unhappy with your friend circle/family? you can just leave and you'll be that much better and healthier. Don't like yourself? you can make a new self. Google is free and your life is customizable. Don't like who you are? then don't be that person lmao. You can just change. Make those choices, decisions, and meds to get you there. no one's gonna do it for you n you can't help people who don't want to be helped, which includes yourself.

n I know a lot of this takes time and money, but you gotta start somewhere. even just having a plan of action helps. Knowing what you wanna work on and who you wana be/people you want to hang out with. That's where it's at. Literally just do it. "idk if i'm ready" then do it unready. I didn't know how to move out transition pay bills dye my hair register my car move in with my partner get a better job change my name literally anything to do with a courthouse change my credit shave my face until i just. Free balled it by my damn self. No family support no pity party. I'm not waiting around for people who say sorry 10 billion times but continue to not be better anymore. Don't make yourself palatable for other people, be free bitches ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

#xcuse the rant. just been thinking about how much better i feel without the people in my life who were bad for me #thinking about the time i got in a fight w/ my (now) ex over thanksgiving #how i was expected to out myself to my ex's homophic transohobic bigoted family. and just be fine with it #“you have to be the bigger person“ ”It's lying to them to not tell them you were deadname and now you're Oli" #n i thought actually? i literally dont have to be around anyone who makes me unsafe bc thats the exact thing i escaped from my own family #dont like feeling like a showcase animal 'look at my trans boyfriend' so someone else can be visibly queer around me #dont like feeling like a problem that every1 else has to deal w/so poor old bigoted family wont die of heart attack bracing for my presence #made me feel like shit n i had to basically beg for an apology for over an hour bc i felt unheard hurt and unsupported. #n you know what i got told? “Thats not how it is youre wrong” after saying i feel unheard 7 times in a row. dont tell me how i feel #wanted to break up right then and there n my only regret is wanting to wait till the holidays were over #there is only so many “sorry i forgot” that i can forgive and i forgave way too many times. very convenient that things forgotten was never #once my exs identity feelings or safety #but when MY feelings MY identity MY safety and my CONSENT get forgotten about? nah man. im out of i forgive yous. it happened soo many time #i rlly dont have to be around people who dont treat me right. i dont exist to make other people better that is on YOU to be better #olive speaks

[prettyboysmlm]

god why do people have to be so fucking intolerable

#4am thoughts ig #idk i’m just #thinking abt how my choir teacher is an elitist bitch #who only cares abt the kids who are musical prodigies or who are rich enough to pay for voice lessons #and could not give less of a fuck about anybody else #and thinking about my friend who’s supposed to be the ‘chill mom friend’ #and how instead she acts like an immature child who throws a fit the minute things don’t go her way #and how all of our other friends support her bullshit bc ‘that’s just the way she is!’ #god get fucked #i don’t mean that but it really feels like i do rn #she straight up almost outed me to my mom. which were that to ever happen i would be fucking ///screwed/// beyond belief #and when i got upset with her bc that’s literally a life or death situation for me #she had the ////AU-FUCKING-DACITY//// to get mad at me for being upset with her!!! #‘ jeez i’m sorry! i just forgot you don’t need to be that mad!’ BITCH I COULD FUCKING DIE IF SHE FINDS OUT #this is why i can’t be friends with cis ppl istg #and the thing is that even if she were trans she’d still never get it. #her parents are supportive. they actually love her. #she’ll never have to face being kicked out or worse if she ever came out to them as trans #god fucking. idk anymore. #it felt good to get this out tho i’ll admit that #anyways i’m gonna go look at ace attorney things and hope that makes me feel better #k.txt #vent tw

[wigglepiggle]

I find it really funny that as soon as I heard klavier speak for 2 lines I was immediately like "damn another character to add to the lgbtq+ attorneys list" /silly

#I FORGOT WHAT HE SAID EXACTLY #IT WAS LIKE #'(something about women i think) but ive never felt this way with a man before until now' #man he just met apollo and he's already fallen /silly #that line made me flash back to the 'thanks to you i am saddled with unecessary... feelings' from edgeworth #yk what im starting to get some of the popular ships from this fandom for once lmao #i love this game already. the characters are pretty cool so far i like klavier even though ive only known him for 25 minutes probably #'von karma no!' #perry parle #oh my goodness I CAN REARRANGE TAGS #I CPULD DO THAT THE ENTIRE TIME????

[thecookieshop]

she can always tell.

#cupid test #I never felt like I could complain until after I met friends who not only let me rant #but encouraged me to get my emotions out in healthy ways. #they can always tell when i'm frustrated or having a bad day. #people who don't make you feel bad for having negative emotions are my favorite people. #janie and richard #cookies stuff tag #i forgot about this comic tili went to clean out my files lol

[1980ssunflower]

hai i love you all sm

#tape entry circa 1980 #im going to bed but head still full of the ending of arrival #god love is the most important thing in the entire world #i always feel that way but this movie is making me think abt it very deeply again #my head and eyes still hurt from crying sm from it again gfhdsjk #it made me think abt my min & ryan too #like the point of that scene... if i knew the end of my relationship w them would lead to heartache #id still choose to love them and be w them #and id welcome every moment #despite knowing where itll end #even if i knew itd end like that #the whole message of #its better to love and lose than to have never loved at all #also just the lines from the movie #'i forgot how good it felt to be held by you' #makes me think of min & ryan sm

[hallelujahonmytongue]

I’m so angry because I’m watching a TV show and there was a nun character that told one of the main characters who’s an ex catholic that God would be waiting for him when he’s ready to come back, and I instantly started sobbing and I could feel the presence of God just like I always used to be able to but I’m so fucking tired of this happening over and over again. I’m trying to block it out and not let myself be comforted by it because in october when I lost my faith I promised myself I would never go back to God because what He did to me is unforgivable.

I don’t give a shit if He’s pursuing me because He loves me, I can’t keep getting tossed around like this. I so badly want to start going to mass again because I love everything about it but I can’t because God fucked up too badly this time and it’s like an abusive relationship if He can torture me and let bad things happen to me and then expect me to come back to Him just because He loves me and can make me feel His love against my will.

#I’ve calmed down a bit now and I realise that it’s just that the show was referencing a bible verse and it triggered some latent programming #in me #it’s not feeling the presence of God; I’ll never truly feel that again and I never felt it in the first place #it’s all me interpreting emotions a certain way; the way I was primed to as a child #I just hate this so fucking much I hate the feeling that I have no control over my own beliefs and right when I have agency and stop #believing; God always finds some way to pull me back #I’ve been watching this great atheist youtube channel where the guy is an exvangelical and he talks about his trauma and the manipulation #tactics and the like #it’s been really healing to see him deconstruct all the things that hurt me #I forgot quite how hurtful they are though! well; I’ve been reminded #it’s okay. I’m okay. it’s not God coming after me and it’s okay if I still don’t believe in Him because He’s not real and He can’t send me #to hell #oof that was rough #anne speaks #probably some of you might be offended by this but I actually don’t care because you can believe whatever you like and I’m not talking about #that. this is me dealing with my own trauma and it has no bearing on what I think of your beliefs

[wander-over-the-words]

Y’all ever read a book that’s super relevant to your interests and it’s actually really good, but it just has such a disappointing ending and you just kinda sit there afterwards like

well

#wandering over the words #finished a crime novel earlier #had me hooked #and then dropped me right off #of all the hints it gave. the killer was this one random background character in a scene everyone forgot about #and not in like a clever ''ohhhhh'' way. just like. a ''wait what??'' kind of way #killer I saw coming but even then it was like. his character did a fuckin 180 and it was like??? what???? #never got a reason why he was the killer btw!! #and then the book kinda just!! ended!! #the lady and the detective had a kinda sorta romance!! #fuck knows!! #book was like ''crime over okay byyyyee'' #none of the personal plotlines got sorted!! #it was like! story's over you can close the book now! #random ass scene at the end that felt like the author was saying ''I just wanted to include this somewhere idk'' #God!! #lady did a fuckin 180 partway through the book too! just dropped her trust issues I guess! #damn! I might actually write something out of spite! #I was so looking forward to this book too! #* can't be bothered to retract my tags but. clarification: there were two killers. kind of. sort of. one killer and one boss but whatever

[the-busy-ghost]

The pandemic isn’t over but even if it were, I am not enjoying being reminded of how close people used to get before the 2020s

#I don't know you why are you less than a foot away and facing me #That's uncomfortably close #You are someone I know onnly very slightly and we're having a casual conversation you do not need to be that close #If I'm standing that close to someone I barely know I at least have the decency not to stand side on so I don't look them in the face #Mind you even during the pandemic some people were way too handsy for me- maybe they just have a different personality that's fine #But when you're supposed to be two metres apart I don't like having to jump back every time some middle-aged person grabs my arm #And it's worse now #Not to mention people I like and am good friends with starting to hug and stuff when they greet people again #It was ok for a few weeks just after my mum passed that felt necessary and like they needed it to #*too #But can we please go back to just greeting each other without pressing our bodies against each other #Or at least let me just shake hands like you do with a man #I mean people are very friendly they should behave how they like but my god I forgot how much I enjoyed social distancing #Personally it just suited me down to the ground #I mean working from home has it's problems and I'm not sure I want the two metre rule but at least a couple of feet woul dbe nice #It doesn't mean I like you any less because I don't want to hug you right now #It feels just a bit OTT for an everyday greeting and personally I prefer something a lot less tactile #I mean you don't have to stand two metres away and never leave the house; just a bit more space and less touchy would be nice #Or worse the fake cheek kiss #Don't make me put my mouth that close that's very vulnerable for someone with such bad teeth as I have #I mean obviously there's a cultural dimension- in France for example it's different- but I'm talking white Scottish people #Greet others how you like but please take care when approaching me and be aware I may retract into my shell like a Victorian Turtle #It was nice not to have to explain that and look like I'm being precious or making a fuss during the pandemic #Now I have to either cave or go back to looking like a stuck-up prick who wants everyone to treat them with kid gloves #Also thank god it's changed a bit in the last ten years but honestly when I was younger the way you were greeted #was the quickest way someone reminded you of your gender; if they offered to shake hands at a respectful distance #you were a man but if you were expected to hug and be kissed on the cheek you were a woman #I'm not non-binary but honestly not a fan of 'Assigned Gender by Hug/Handshake' ; it's changed now thankfully but unfortunately all hugs #Which is nice for men who didn't used to get that kind of casual physical affection from their friends and I'm all for it #But personally I had the opposite issue and wish people would just be a bit more flexible when it comes to personal space

[grasslandgirl]

.

#for some reason thinking abt my birthday (in 3 months) and how. most likely. for the like third time in as many years. it will be a quiet #disappointment. turning 23 and knowing my friends will do the bare minimum to celebrate with me #and like. I love them both very much and they are good friends but like. last #year one friend bought me coffee and forgot the present she meant to give me as a half Xmas half bday gift. and the other fully forgot it #was my birthday at all. and it feels like every year I try to think of something I want to do and people I want to spend it with and it’s #like hearing cats and pulling teeth to try to organize anything and most of the time it still manages to fall through and it feels like. why #bother at this point when I know it’s a hassle and it’s frustrating and it makes me feel uncared for and disappointed yk #like I’m the organizer and the plan guy in almost all my friendships and that’s fine I don��t mind I love being that person. but it sucks to #have to feel like you’re cajoling people into giving a shit about your birthday and celebrating it with you #and now I feel like a fuxking self centered pity party throwing piece of shit bc it’s not that deep and it’s not that important and it’s not #even soon. but there’s always this small part of me that like. hopes for my friends to take initiative and do something and want to celebrat #with me and throw a party or even a surprise party which I would love and it’s like. it’s never going to happen. they won’t. and it’s not bc #they don’t care about me but it’s bc they won’t ever think to do that. it won’t occur to them. and I just. have to deal with that and I have #to accept my birthdays as quiet and find the personal internal joy for myself and not depend on people to show they care about me the way I #I would show for them. yk? like that’s what it comes down to. I just. I cried on my birthday last year bc it felt like I gave more of a shit #than my friends did. and that sucked. and I don’t want to feel like that again so it feels like the solution is to lower my expectations so #radically that I can’t be disappointed. and that just sucks a little bit too #anyway. it’s not that deep it’s fine I’m fine my birthdays not for months still I don’t know why I’m feeling emotional abt this

[mntcoronet]

*pause moment* hey why the fuck did I just realise that during high school, I felt like a fair number of my peers (from outside my friends group) treated me somewhat more "softly" or like a child than they would've done with other people. and why was that

#maggles ramblings #like idk if they were actually doing that or if that's just what i Felt was happening #but. when they'd have to talk to me for things; like short 'do this in pairs' stuff; i def felt like they treated me differently #like I'd point out something in the thing we were looking at and they'd go 'oh wow good observation!!' as if we weren't the same age #maybe they just acted differently cos they didn't wanna be doing it. which like sure. but man u could at least try to discuss the topic #or did i seem like too much of a shy little creature that only just learned human speech that they forgot i was competent enough to get A's #but hhh man idk. i never know how people perceive me that's the real issue here #i can sorta make estimations based on how they talk to me; i can tell well enough if someone just doesn't wanna keep talking to me #but that doesn't mean i can figure out WHY. but i do know that sometimes it feels like.. they pick up on something about me #like i can roughly tell whether the person talking to me still considers me Just A Normal Guy or if they've realised like 'hey... #this person doesn't quite Get It with regards to social/conversation stuff'. bc of the way they talk. but i still never know why!! #like sure every time i go have conversations with new people i feel like I'm just pretending to be A Normal Person yknow #and when other people who seem very socially competent Keep talking to me i just think oh wow you haven't figured it out yet that's wild #figured what out? idk that I'm just pretending i guess. about what? uh good question just pretending in general #pretending like i know what to say; that it feels completely Natural to talk like that; like I'm not mentally rating each of my actions #but then sometimes there's people i just feel like i don't have to do that around nearly as much. i swear i gravitate towards those ppl #but yeah it's just. it def feels like they know I'm Not Getting something when i talk to a lot of people. like they Know i missed a memo #and i don't even know what the memo is about; or whether I've gotten any of the previous memos or just absorbed the knowledge #by observing things. ya #ok im done with that train of thought i need to go and work on that au i accidentally stayed up till 2am last night thinking of ideas for