#anyhoo to all those out there who can eat without trouble: i love you. keep on doing that. dont take it for granted. it's a good thingto ea

[actualbird]

beware cuz tw disordered eating, tw smoking addiction posting ahead but like.....

the thing about smoking vs eating is that. smoking is SO MUCH EASIER TO DO.

eating has so many steps. make food (AUGH), put food on plate, sit down and focus to eat food, food enters mouth, must chew, must swallow, must ignore constant low-level nausea to keep food down, repeat until food on the plate is gone. currently im so low-energy and fatigued that this whole process of eating is exhausting to me, and at the end of it i get a tummy ache anyway and risk vomiting all of it out, so theres always a risk of all that hard work (it is...objectively not hard work, i know, but right now in my Mental State it feels like climbing a mountain every time i have a meal) being all for naught.

meanwhile the steps for smoking are Marginally Much Less. it's: get cigarette, light cigarette, inhale, exhale, repeat until cigarette is done. and usually once im done, i wont feel hungry for another half hour because nicotine does that to me.

but it's short-term benefits vs long-term benefits because obviously after enough cigarettes-instead-of-eating, the effects of Not Having Eaten And Smoking Instead stack up to hit me with one hell of a whammy of acidity and Even More Nausea and like

i am Well Aware im trapping myself in a cycle of self-destruction every time i reach for a cig instead of sitting down and eating but smoking is just. easier. and it relaxes me instead of stressing me out, and eating sometimes does stress me out because of the amount of work and focus it involves

this is all horrible by the way, im not endorsing this behavior im just airing out my thoughts. in fact, i am a case study in all the things you should Not be doing to your body

but addiction is just a really crazy thing lmao. like what the fuck do you mean i prefer killing myself slowly rather than having a filling meal. thats crazy. no sane person would have those priorities in that order

and yet

#tw disordered eating #tw smoking #ive eaten lunch btw. i just had such a dang hard time the entire time #why is eating so hard. i like food. i KNOW i like food so why is getting it into my system so difficult #whenever im in the hospital i actually enjoy having an IV because it means i dont have to eat as much because the act is just #such a dang chore. theres so many steps. sometimes i stop mid-chew because im so tired or because i wanna throw up #dootdootdoot #anyhoo to all those out there who can eat without trouble: i love you. keep on doing that. dont take it for granted. it's a good thingto ea #i wish i could eat normally

[badcowboy69]

You ready for this one Travis!? A7, A17, B9, B12, C1, C5, C6, D1, D2, D5, E1, E8, F5, F10, F11, F12, H1, H8, H9, I1, I6, J1, J5, J6, L1, L2, and L4!

Hooo boy...well, this took a while and it was pretty fun having Travis answer the questions.  He was so flattered that you did that!  He also hopes he did well as he’s never answered this many questions at one time before!  Anyway, long reading ahead! Thanks so much for asking these, we both appreciate it!

A7  Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?    

Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of in how you react to life.  So yeah, I reckon I am confident in those things.  Crying though is another story.  I don’t like to cry in front of people, especially someone I know or love.  Ain’t saying it can’t and won’t happen, but I do all I can to make it not happen.  Does that make sense? Really, though, if I cry when I’m angry about something, you best be taking cover because that means seriously bad things are going to start happening.  

A17  What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?

Hmmm...I reckon it’d certainly gotta be me taking my motorcycle and trekking across the country to the Commonwealth in search of cats.  Lots of unexplored territory to be sure.  I ventured into the unknown if you think about it.  Had my pip-boy update terrain maps and stuff like that if I found a computer somewheres.  I mostly avoided any towns and stayed as far from people as I could.  It wasn’t until I got to the DC area where I tried to mingle with folks.  They seemed right pleasant and all.  Found Boston, found the cats, and found one hell of a guy too.  So a’yup, taking a huge risk like that’s  gotta be my proudest moment.

B9  What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

I love sarcastic wit and snappy comebacks the best.  But still, anything that makes me laugh I like.  I also like making people laugh.  Scare pranks are wrong, though.  Jokes are meant to be funny, not showing how much of a dick you are.

B12  Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?  

Well, when having a complaint you should always start with a positive before the negative that way the person you’re talking to don’t get defensive.  I’d tell the waiter that this is fantastic and looks or tastes great (if I already took a bite).  Then I’d go on to say, however, I really was wanting this or that.  Whatever the issue is wasn’t done on purpose or to piss you off so why treat it like that?  

C1  Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

I always had a thing about a true man keeping his word (that goes for the ladies too really).  I won’t say or promise anything I don’t mean or don’t intend to do.  Hell, I’m even the kind of person where if I promised I’d do something and me and that person had a falling out I’d still try and keep my promise to them regardless.  Trust me, I take that pretty seriously.  You can’t keep your word then you probably can’t be trusted none either.

C5   Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Hmm...reckon it does depend on the situation.  I mean, I don’t like unarmed people getting hurt, but if I see some weaponless Fiend out in the desert trying to rape a woman or choke a kid, mark my word they will get a bullet up their ass. Sometimes one’s gotta forget what’s considered morals and do what’s right.

C6,   What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so?

I’ve been told I’m a phil...umm...philly antro pissed or something like that.  I got more caps than I really need and already do a bunch of donations to the Bitter Springs Refugee Camp and to Fort Mormon.  Ain’t too many people in Freeside or in New Vegas begging for money or food these days, but out in the Mojave it’s something that unfortunately happens from time to time.  I do what I can to help them, but not to the point where they become a leech.  I ain’t nobody’s father.

D1,  How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Ain’t religious.  I reckon you can say I’m spiritual of sorts, but I don’t follow anything set.  I mean, it’s pretty nice thinking someone or something out there is watching over me.  But I’m not sure what to make of it.  Religion, well, no.  It’s all an organized cult if you think about it.  No thanks.

D2,  Do they believe in an afterlife?

I am torn on this one.  I’d like to think there’s something in the great beyond.  I know I was pretty much dead after getting shot, but I don’t remember much of that let alone what came afterwards.

D5,  Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?

I’ve seen a lot of unexplained shit out in the Mojave and sometimes I’ve even been helped by a mysterious stranger of sorts from time to time.  Ain’t sure if they were a ghost or not, but I have a feeling we ain’t exactly alone.  

E1,  Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?

I think I’m pretty dang smart.  Now, I know I ain’t no genius or anything and I surely don’t have the smarts a lot of other people have, but, I think I still am rather intelligent.  In battles I plot things out instead of rushing head-first into them.  I can learn things rather quickly and know a lot about a lot.  Lots of my smarts got me out of situations that could have gone very badly otherwise.  I know I still got lots to learn, or relearn rather, but then again who doesn’t?

E8,  What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?  

Hate to even answer this, but probably getting involved with a certain NCR First Recon Sniper is my biggest regret.  Now don’t go telling me crap about that ‘loved and loss’ shit...trust me...I would have much rather to not know what that loss felt like or even that love.  I used to wonder if he only got involved with me ‘cause he didn’t think he’d live much longer or something and wanted to feel affection one last time.  

F5, How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?

Ain’t much I can’t fix, really.  Robots, appliances, guns... Hell, I fixed up a motorcycle by using the energy cores from Mister Handy robots in order to make it run.  If that don’t say handy then I don’t know what would.  Currently I’m studying the old Giddyup Buttercup toys.  What’s a cowboy without a horse?  Gonna make me a full sized one using the old toy as a model as well as pre-war books to help me understand how those critters functioned.

F10,  Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

Is playing a guitar arts?  Probably not.  Ummm...I do draw once in awhile, but ain’t nothing too fancy or spectacular.  Not sure if writing is considered an art, but I do that dang good.  Painting, not so much.  I tried and it’s horrible.  Acting...well, I suppose I can be good at that.  I was told I can bullshit my way out of anything.

F11,  What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most?

You sure you want me to be answering something like this?  Sex!   Ok ok I’ll be serious!  I like to fish in the non-radiated waters of Lake Mead. Got into it because I like to eat hah!  I like to camp and I do like to explore.  Got into that because it was a part of my life as a courier and from what I can scantly recall, when I was a cowboy at a brahmin run.  Riding my motorcycle is a big thing for me.  Once I got one of those working it opened up a whole new world.  

F12, Would they enjoy a theme park?

Ahhh yes!  Riley’s told me all about those and dang I would have loved to go on some of those rides!  In the town of Primm there’s a broken down roller coaster thingy that has been sorta repaired.  Now the trouble is finding out how to make it work and get the cars for it.  Yeah, I know that ain’t a theme park, but I’ll take what I can get.

H1, What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

Lots of questions in one in this thing, didja notice that?  Lordy...anyhoo, I’m a confirmed bachelor (which means gay).  Ain’t never been a source of stress for me.  Women, now that’s a source of stress.  Lordy, you tell some of them you’re gay and they look at you like you’re crazy or they say stupid shit like they can make you forget all about that and turn.  As for being pretty sure of my orientation, as far back as I’m able to remember, my answer is yes and it’s still a very solid yes right now.  I am romantic and I am sexual, but to only one person.  

H8, What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?

Oh, now you’re wanting to see the mush side of me, huh?  Reckon it would be to get all dressed up in something snazzy.  Make the first stop somewheres nice to eat.  Have some wine maybe while we chat about stuff.  Afterwards take a small stroll arm in arm to a lake or a nice place facing west.  I’ll build a campfire and we can watch the sunset when it happens.  Just the two of us enjoying the outside and peace in each other’s company is the best really.  Good food followed by good company all sound perfect to me.

H9, What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?

Man, I don’t like hateful people or people stuck on themselves.  I also really dislike loud-mouth drunks or people who can’t take no for an answer.  I reckon, too, anyone that’s mean to critters can be part of the list.  

I1, What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

HOT!  I love hot and spicy foods.  People say I probably burned my tastebuds to hell from eating hot stuff so much, but that ain’t true.  I also have a sweet tooth and do like fruity flavors as well.

I6, Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?

Oh heck yeah!  I can probably eat jalapenos all the time and most certainly a nice brahmin rib-eye steak!  I like to drink beer and not get bored of it, but is that considered a food?

J1, Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most?

For me as long as the cause is just and has the interests of the people and critters I’ll support them.

J5, Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about?

Yeah, I would protest something as long as the meanings behind it are just. Sometimes people bitch about something just to bitch and it makes things worse.  I can’t stand that.  Stand up for what you believe in, but make sure it’s really what you want and will change things for the better.

J6, How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs?

As long as they don’t shove it in my face I really don’t pay them much mind.  We’re all allowed to have different likes and viewpoints.  However, like in the case of Caesar’s Legion...no.  That’s bad!  You’re bad!  End of story!

And now for the section directed at me, Travis’ mun!

L1, How have your characters changed since you created them?

Travis has been part of me ever since I was a little cowgirl.  He went from me being a cowboy riding a palomino stallion to becoming a created video game character taking over New Vegas in Fallout New Vegas.  He then went on to age six years so he could be involved in the life of a certain sole survivor (and simply be involved in the Fallout 4 world).  Travis is also alive and well in the world of Sims 4.  Not too much has changed with him, but with him becoming more “alive” in the Fallout world it’s been amazing and fun developing him.  

L2  What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

He’s always a country boy in western garb.  Even in his Sims life he can be found sporting a cowboy hat and boots, playing a guitar, loving country music, and just being a sweet good ole boy.

L4!  Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

Even though he is pretty much me for the most part, yes, I would most certainly hang out with him.  He’s a fun, and loving great guy who is very playful and kind.

#ask #abouttravis #long post #thank you for sending these #free-hugs-for-ghouls