#anyway april 1st is almost over where i am. goodbye april fools hello dread

[welcometogrouchland]

Currently battling with some psychological barriers regarding posting my art on here but just know that the piece I'm working on currently is a banger and I am excited to share it w you guys

#ramblings of a lunatic #ofc then there's the fear that ppl wont match your energy w/ their engagement but also #i feel. dumb for caring? bc im a staunch believer that youre under no obligation to like/rb certain things #I'm just paranoid bc all my last few toh art pieces have gone. overlooked? ig?? #i shouldn't put so much stock in ppl interacting with my stuff for sure but at this moment in time i don't know how to stop #I'm getting better about making art for myself but i still do want to share some (if not most) of it #ofc then there's also the mental pressure I've invented that bc fandoms tend to wind down after a show ends (boooo!) #that means i have an arbitrary time limit on when i can get all my ideas out and post things #which is DUMB!!!! THAT'S STUPID!!!!! but I'm still struggling to internalize that it's not Real #OUGH. there's a whole lot goin on in my head rn #swamped with school but also I'm really close to finishing all my coursework #the general low level anxiety and concern that goes on in the back of my mind at all times #the fact that despite all the pre-grieving I've done I'm STILL not done being upset abt the owl show ending #I'm fighting low level demons rn but like. there's a few. 3-4 imps #but like i said even if ppl don't like/see the next bit of art i post i think I'll still be proud of it? deep down??? somewhere??????????? #i kind of have to be for my own sanity. lmao <3 #anyway april 1st is almost over where i am. goodbye april fools hello dread