#anyway sequels are dead we dont talk about sequels in this house <3

[psalmsofpsychosis]

Thinking Luke&Leia thoughts today

Like, they're two halves of the same experience, their life lessons and their victories and their losses compliment and complete each other, you cannot tell Leia's story without telling Luke's, and vice versa.

The Skywalker twins are a tale of triumph over seemingly impossible odds, but they each portray a very distinct facet of victory, one that is so foundational and yet so incomplete without the other facet's wisdom to work with.

Luke's story is the journey of triumphing over evil by the way of acceptance. Acceptance not as in defeat, not as in a docile act of passive submission, but as in a conscious, holistic acknowledgement of  a context. No nuance left behind, no line left untold, no truth lined out– Luke embodies what it takes to face evil and not flinch: he looks Vader in the eyes and says, "you, as well." He does not try to bury and wipe out the existence of the fear that makes Vader, or the existence of Vader himself. Instead, he finds a path through evil by refusing to simplify and detach from evil out of fear. He holds Vader's grief, Palpatine's greed and his own goodness all in the same picture frame, no parts of reality obscured or lined out. Because this is life; it is all part of the same tapestry, and no part is unaffected and untouched from the other, no matter how uncomfortable and distressing the thought might be. Luke looks at evil and says you too, exist. You too, are part of humanity. No good OR evil, but good AND evil AND everything inbetween.

So what about his goodness? What makes Luke Skywalker a good person despite unapologetic acceptance of evil?

It's choice.

This is where Leia's story weaves seamlessly into Luke's. Leia is a story about agency. You make choices and your choices make you. Leia's story is about conscious self responsibility and embodied choices, making your own fate and stnding by your own values. Leia is Leia Organa by choice, she weilds her agency in every step and works in tandem with the resources she has to further what she believes to be right. She doesn't quite wait for the context to suit her; she makes the context suit her.

Luke Skywalker accepts life as it is; no parts torn away, and he's a good person because he chooses goodness, he chooses to be good anyway.

Leia Organa is an affective leader because she too chooses goodness, and works to adopt to the nuances of her environment. The Skywalker Twins are a story about triumph and you cannot hope to triumph with acceptance that's void of agency, and choices that are void of inclusion and understanding.

#which is to say #any star wars story attempting to separate Luke and Leia as identities and as narratives is doomed to a smelly dumpster fire experience #i'm looking at you sequels #entirely reversing each twin's point of transcendence ya fuckwits #Luke completely losing his point of agency and succumbing to some fucking unknown fate #and Leia entirely failing to be understanding and inclusive of Ben as a person #anyway sequels are dead we dont talk about sequels in this house <3 #or any variation of a luke skywalker narrative in which he's not accepting of life as it unfolds and all the nuances of it #*sides eyes TBOBF cgi Luke* #i dont know these bad depictions of my fav archetypal characters and they're not invited to this tea party #luke skywalker #leia organa #star wars #star wars meta #star wars original trilogy #skywalker twins #character analysis

[littleeyesofpallas]

I had forgotten but a week or two ago id had a series kf dreams that I can only vaguely rememver as having shared some kind of plot line about a pair of serial killers being at large. I dont remember what exactly was going on otherwise but people in the dream were pretty reasonably concerned about this.

Well, i just woke up from another dream apparently in this continuity(?)

I was living at home with my parents for some reason. My parents had started renting part of our house as an Airbnb. But the person there was one of my "cousins" but, like, son of close friends of the family that i call "aunt" and "uncle" not actual blood relation. (I mean, Im adopted, so none of my family is blood relates, but like, not related to the rest lf my family either) also that "uncle" is dead in real life but I got the impression he was alive in the dream?

Anyway my mother was driving me to some sort of job I had late at night. I could feel myself dozing off in the back seat (I dont know why I was sitting in the back seat, it was just the two of us) and then i came to and my mother was driving fast a reckless and panicked. For some reason I felt compelled to not say anything? So I just kind of quietly took in my surroundings to try and make sense of what was happening. I did ask her something but she didnt answer. I could hear police sirens.

Then we ran off the road and the car spun out down the side of a big hill. We'd somehow gotten from a strip mall back parkinglot to farmland fields where we'd been weaving around bales of hay, and then ran off the road in some winding hilly backroads. My mother and i were flung from the car and somehow police were all around almost immediatelg, although we'd been tumbling in the car for what must've been a while. It wasnt clear what the charges actually were but we were arrested(?) Because the murderers were found staying at our house.

For some weird reason we had a landlord and she was there? But in real life my parents own their house. But in this dream they were apparently renting from this random woman. Also one of my mothers sisters was there for some reason. We got into a nonsense argument over the murderer thing and as it got more heated I couldn't breath or open my mouth and my throat felt dry and swollen, and i couldnt make any sound. Part of the argument wound up being about one of her kids being trans? In real life she has 3 cis daughters, and even on the dream I dont think I knew if i was talking about one if them in particular or some imaginary 4th cousin.

At some point we wound up back at my parents house but in a room that isnt in their real house. The room was like the room in my apartment that im actually sleeping in right now. I woke up on a couch, but not the real couch im laying on now. A guy I dont know in real life, but that I think was supposed to be one of my cousins' boyfriend (boyfriend of a daughter of the aunt i was arguing with) came into the room. He was carrying some kind of water bottle weight lifting thing? Two big like water cooler tanks but jointed at the butt ends and with handles molded into the plastic. We started to have some kind of conversation but then I panicked because I realized it was late at night/early in the morning and I hadn't ever called in to work to explain why I never showed up...

And that woke me up from the dream. And now im sitting here in the dark at 4am thinking about this weird ass dream. I wonder who the murderers were? Its weird because usually dream logic means I know most things for certain even if they arent actively a part of the dream; like identifying rooms in "my parents house" even though they arent part of the real house. But were the murderer(s) my cousins? My parents? Me?

Maybe I'll have a sequel dream some other nights and get some answers...

[adamskathescribe-blog]

Failed Kickbutt Jones Script

Kickbutt Jones

The Most Dangerous Man Alive V 2.0

The reboot / sequel

Writing by David “Daveman the Caveman”

Complaining by chungus Skee Betz

Cheerleading by bitch “the Bitch” Erickson

ACT ONE: Kickbutt Jones: The most dangerous man alive

Prologue: Johnny Labcoat and the Infortuitous social gathering

Intro: Kickbutt Jones kills a pizza shit

Title Sequence

Chapter 1: A day in the life of Kickbutt Jones

Chapter 2: Your mission

Chapter 3: I know a guy

Chapter 4: Kickbutt Jones pro infiltrator 2K16

ACT TWO: Kickbutt Jones: One of two of the most dangerous men alive

Chapter 1: Kickbutt Jones versus The Masked Man

Chapter 2: The boys are back in town

Chapter 3: Clones to Jones

Credits

ACT ONE:

Kickbutt Jones: The most dangerous man alive

Prologue:

Johnny labcoat and the infortuitous social gathering

//Interior, several people are gathered around a table eating pizza and talking and shit like that. The host of this event is Tar Getguy, who is clearly excited to actually have people to talk to.

Tar Getguy: “Thank you all for coming. Johnny Labcoat gestures to him, extras gestures to them. We have made such an incredible amount of progress in the field of cloning specifically and exclusively for the use of environmental conservatism, and I am certain that there is no possible way that this technology could possibly be weaponized by anybody ever. clapping Which is why, despite whatever our air quotes boss end air quotes says, I will be publishing our findings later tonight, so that the whole world can benefit from our science.” dead silence

//Everybody looks around really worried and one guy in sunglasses takes out his phone and sends a text in a really sketchy manner.

Labcoat: “Dude, you could end up getting fired. This is going to be making a lot of people very angry.”

Tar Getguy: “This isn't about me, Johnny. It’s about the children.” as cheesy as humanly possible

//Labcoat gets a phone call, and he takes it. The whole split frame thing happens

Labcoat: “Hello?”

McBadguy: “A secret agency has decided that this tech is too dangerous for this data to leak because it turns out it could be weaponized. They sent someone to make sure it doesn't leak.” really evil sounding voice put through voice filter

Labcoat: “If you had been paying any attention you would have heard him say that this tech isn't weaponizable. Jeez, no one listens these days.”

McBadguy: “Johnny, you need to get out of there. They mean business, they sent dramatic pause Kickbutt Jones, The Most Dangerous Man Alive.”

//Johnny is shocked, and drops his phone, cut to black.

Intro:

Kickbutt Jones kills a Pizza Shit

//Interior same place and time as last scene, but Johnny has left. Tar Getguy and the people that are still there are seated around the table talking, with the group in the foreground and a door prominently featured in the background. Jones stands on top of something looking into the party, silhouetted. In the next shot someone looks over towards where he was standing but he is gone. Alternating shots of party and Jones's route into the house. Voiceover of the commander giving Jones his orders.

Commander: “Jones. A prominent eco terrorist has announced that he will leak the data for a technology that could potentially cause the deaths of millions of innocent lives. We have sent you to his location, where he is currently hosting some kind of terrorist party, but luckily he made the mistake of inviting one of our moles. Jones, we need you to assassinate him before it is too late.”

//Tar Getguy hears a knocking on his front door, and goes to find out who it is. He walks up to the door, opens it and leans out to look for people. He is kicked from behind and falls on the floor. The door is closed, and Tar Getguy looks up to see a gun pointed at his head. Slow pan up to Jones’s face.

Jones: “If you were a pizza…”

//Pan reaches Jones’s face.

Jones: “You'd be a pizza shit.”

//Jones fires, cut to black.

TITLE SEQUENCE

Chapter 1: A Day in the Life of Kickbutt Jones

This scene consists largely of of footage of kickbutt jones doing normal people things:

Jones on public transit

Jones at a restaurant on a date

*

The person he is on a date with is himself in drag

//date scene: exterior langstraat eating food. Jones is sitting at a table with food waiting. His date approaches and sits down. His date is himself in drag.

Jones: “Oh hey, nice to see you!”

Date: “Oh it’s you, Kickbutt Jones! I've heard so much about you. I hear that you're the most dangerous man alive…” Eyebrows wiggle “Oh what big muscles!”

Jones: “Would you like to know what the strongest muscle in the human body is?”

Date: “Yeah?”

Jones: “The tongue.” eyebrows wiggle

//for the date scene when Kickbutt jones says 'the tongue' and looks right at the camera for an uncomfortable time, have a jump cut to Lady Jones also looking right at the camera for a similarly uncomfortable amount of time, then a hard cut to black.

//end of date scene

Jones reading a book

*

Reverse shot, inside of the book: How to guess a bra size at a glance

Jones watching TV

*

It's the original kickbutt jones

Jones taking a shower in full uniform

Jones going to bed

Jones being woken up by his alarm, which is daveman the caveman and bitch the bitch

Jones cooking eggs

Jones doing laundry

//The last of these shots, the laundry shot, is actually transitioned into an actual scene.

Kickbutt jones is taking his clothes out of the laundry. A hand reaches out and hands him a file.

Jones: “Thanks dude.”

The hand give a thumbs up.

Hand: “No prob, bro.”

//Hand retracts into machine and jones closes it. Over the shoulder shot of jones opening the file, with a slow zoom in on the contents of the file, a green screen colored sheet of paper. The zoom in on the green screen acts as a frame transition to the next scene.

Chapter 2:

Your Mission

    Sequence: (Voiceover)The exchange goes something along the lines of:

Commander: “We have finally tracked down the man that all of these bio-terrorists have been working for. “

Jones: “How did you find him?”

Commander: “You know how important it is to us that we keep our sources safe from being discovered. “

Jones: “Yeah you're right. So who is it I'm after anyway?”

Commander: “His name: Evil McBadguy: Genocide extraordinaire. He is currently located in his base in the mountains just off the coast of europe. “

Jones: “Of course! No one ever checks there!”

Commander: “Not since “the incident” at least, but his location isn't the only thing he wants to keep secret. He is currently preparing to test his bioweapon on a small secluded population cut off from the rest of the world so no one will find out.”

Jones: “And where might that be?”

Commander: “Well... Few have heard of this country, and even fewer can place it on the map, so don't be too embarassed when you haven't heard of it.”

Jones: “Oh please, what kind of fool do you take me for?”

Commander: “Ok then, it is the small tribal state currently known as luxembourg.”

Jones: “No, you were right, not ringing a bell.”

Commander: “Anyway, we need you to sneak into his lair, kill him, and escape without being detected.”

Jones: “You could at least make it a challenge. Any more of this grunt work and I’ll start to lose my touch”

Commander: “You didn't let me finnish. Here's the bad part. Throughout your previous missions you have been leaving behind a lot of bullets, and we have reason to believe that these terrorists are close to reverse engineering your handgun.”

Jones: “But that's the most deadly weapon ever built!”

Commander: “Exactly, we can't let this technology fall into enemy hands. Jones, you are going to be doing this mission entirely within your own means. You will not be receiving any resources from us”

Jones: “Dont worry about me, I know a guy that can get me a good gun. What you should really worry about getting your insiders out of harm's way.”

Commander: “Don't worry, we have seen to it that nothing could go wrong there.”

Jones: “I should probably get to work.”

Commander: “Jones?”

Jones: “Yeah?”

Commander: “Don’t fuck up.”

Chapter 3:

I know a guy

//Exterior, night antena, day back alley. Shot of big antenna silhouetted against the night sky. One continuous shot of jones climbing up to the antenna, taking out a laptop, attaching some kind of cable, opening computer, and trying to find out the location of the black market. As he finds info, it flickers onto the wall behind him (editing). Things like headlines, rumors, blurry pictures from a distance, etc. After about 4 to 7 seconds, he finds something that tells him where the black market is, and “location located” flashes on the screen a few times. Kickbutt jones smirks, stands up and walks off screen left as the screen fades to black. Establishing shots of that sketchy looking alley, maybe at night, with the text JAPAN CITY, ASIA on the screen. Fairly distant shot with black market lemonade stand on the far left, and jones walking towards it from the right. Cut to closer shot when jones reaches Sketchy Steve.

Jones: “Ahem. I’m looking to buy a-”

Sketchy Steve: “Oi. I talk first mate! Who are ya?!?”

Jones: “Sketchy Steve it's me, Jones? Kickbutt jones?”

Sketchy Steve: “Suuure you are, mate. And i'm the bloomin queen.”

Jones: “What? Its me. We've known eachother for years!”

Sketchy Steve: “REALLY?!? DO WE KNOW EACH OTHER MATE?!? OR IS THAT JUST WHAT THE EFFIN BLOKES DOWN AT THE WORLD GOVAHMENT ‘AVE PROGRAMMED YE TO THINK?!? HUH?!?”

Jones: “What the fuck did you just say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top-”

Sketchy Steve: “Fine. If you are the real bloke, prove it. Show me the power of a legend.”

//They both take up fighting stances, and then fight. Jones fights like an actual fighter with at least one move taken from snake eater’s cutscenes. Sketchy Steve fights like an anime character. Jones knocks Sketchy Steve to the ground.

Jones: “winner winner…”

//look to camera, maybe he says look at camera

Jones: “chicken dinner”

Sketchy Steve: “It is you! I thought you'd gotten the wrong end of the rhubarb, mate!”

Jones: “Hah, you know perfectly well I am the most dangerous man alive. (face camera,  zoom looks at camera and winks)”

Sketch Steve: “Yeah about that mate, there’s somethin’ ive gotta let you in on…”

Jones: “No time, the world is in danger and I must save it!”

Sketchy Steve: “Well ‘ere’s yer gun, but Jones-”

Jones: “This gun is untraceable?”

Sketchy Steve: “Yeah. But Jones-”

Jones: “I must go, the world needs me!”

//Jones begins to jog away

Sketchy Steve: “JONES!”

//Jones has left

Chapter 4:

Kickbutt Jones pro infiltrator 2K16

//Interior bitch’s basement, then exterior, preferably sunset. Split frame, Scienceman on the left, Jones infiltrating on the right. Scienceman is sitting with a laptop doing genetic lookin stuff. On the right: Jones sneaking up to the building, a few shots from the perspective of the sniper, picking the lock, going down the stairs. Scienceman acts all terrified at hearing the gunshot. Jones bursts through the door, and the split frame un-splits as soon as they are both in the same room. Jones walks over to Science Guy very aggressively.

Jones: “Disable the bioweapon! Right. Now.”

Labcoat: “What? Bioweapons? I have no idea what it is that you are talking about! I work on cloning so we can save the pandas. What do I look like? Some kind of eco terrorist? That's not me. i'm just a scientist. I don't do terrorism!”

Jones: “What?!?”

Labcoat: “Look, I am just a person that is working here! May I humbly suggest that you investigate further?”

Jones: “Fine. Don't go anywhere. Or i'll kill ya.”

//Jones walks across the corridor, opens the other door. He sees Evil McBadguy. They both stare for a few seconds, each suprised by the other. Jones closes the door. He then opens the door again and re enters?

Jones: “are you Evil McBadguy?”

Badguy: “Yeah, what about it?”

Beat.

Jones: “Really?”

Badguy: “What,. aAm I not dressed to your standards of villainy? It’s This is hard work, you know, being a villain.?”

Jones: “Yeah whatever… So. We gonna fight?”

Badguy: “Ohhhhh. The agency sent you. Oh ok.”

//Badguy takes out a weapon and tries to fire it at jones. Jones grabs the weapon and throws it to the side. They fight for a while, and jones wins. Evil McBadguy is against the wall bleeding out. He splutters a few words.

Badguy: “Heh. wanna hear a joke?”

Jones: “I don't want jokes! I want answers!”

Badguy: “Hah! Your career is a joke…”

Jones: “What the fuck did you just say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top-”

Badguy: “I mean I guess that's kind of hypocritical for me to say, given that we dramatic pause work for the same people...”

// cut to jones’s face and he dramatically removes a pair of sunglasses that weren't there before

Jones: “What!?! Keep talking! This just the scoop i've been looking for!”

Badguy: “This entire time the agency has been the evil shadow government bent on ruling the world and they have been sending you to kill people who stand in their way. For example; the dude you assassinated at the dinner party? He thought he was working on cloning to save the pandas, when in reality he was working on cloning for me so I could use your kickbutt genes to make an army the world would fear. All I wanted was to usurp the agency and rule over the world. But it would appear they found out, probably as soon as my plan started. Those bastards just wanted me to finish so they could send your dumbass in at the last second and take the tech.”

Jones: “I need to get out of here!”

Badguy: “They have contingencies for this. There’s someone outside waiting to kill you. They never send just one.”

//cut to black. Cut to shot of jones running out of the building. Cut to sniper perspective as used earlier. Sights line up. Cut to black.

ACT TWO:

KICKBUTT MONTGOMERY JONES: ONE OF TWO OF THE MOST DANGEROUS MEN ALIVE

Chapter 1:

Kickbutt Jones vV. the Masked Man

// on screen: 3 years later. Exterior field day. Jones is chasing a masked figure. Maybe on bikes. Set to loud eurobeat/techno This scene is 111% action. Balls to the wall. Pedal to the Metal. Jones chases down the masked man. They fight. The masked man wins. And he leaves a note with jones. Jones wakes up. Best case scenario the fight is them silhouetted at sunset. All we need is a 5 hour long sunset.

Chapter 2:

The Boys are back in Town

//Jones is sitting in his livingroom. It is evening. He looks very troubled. He takes out the note and reads it. The camera does not show you what’s on it yet. He looks up, determined and a bit pissed.

Jones: “I'm gonna need a team.”

//Shot of note on table: “1 v 1 me irl mate. Meet me at the <place> at <time>. Be there or be square” Cut to black. Cue song: “the boys are back in town”. Jones travels around gathering a team. He starts by going to find Johnny Lab Coat, who is still waiting in the basement from earlier, holding a card up to the camera that says ‘I haven’t left since Act I’. Then he goes to find Sketchy Steve, who has moved his black market elsewhere. Then he goes and gets Fedora Boy, playing himself, a person who doesn't want to be in this movie. Then as they have all gathered, evil McBadguy shows up. Music stops.

Jones: “Mother of sweet baby Jesus! What are you doing alive Badguy!”

Badguy: “Don't call me that! you're looking at a new man! Nicey McGoodguy. You nearly killing me and leaving me to bleed out really put stuff in perspective, and I learnt that it's not about the worlds you conquer but the friends you make along the way.”

Jones: “But I shot you in the face!”

Goodguy: “On the contraire. These glasses are made of bulletproof ass!”

Jones: “You mean-”

Goodguy: “No, I mean ass. Bulletproof. Ass.”

//jones shrugs, confused, looks at camera

Jones, still a little weirded out: “Welcome to the team I guess.”

Goodguy: “So what is it we're supposed to be doing anyway?”

Jones: “Well…”

//cut to black. They are all gathered around a table, the room completely dark except for the light over the table.

Jones: “For several months I have been tracking dramatic pause The Masked Man.”

Labcoat: “But why is it that you have gathered us here? Are you not the one capable of such feats of athleticism that you don't need our help?”

Jones:  “I too used to believe that I was the most dangerous man alive. But this man. He beat me. I swear, this That has never happened to me before.”

Steve: “Hit the nail on the fookin’ ‘ead mate. So you want us to ‘elp ye?”

Jones: “Yes. We will meet him at his time and place, and we will 5 v 1 him IRL.”

Fedora Boy: “Then I can leave?”

Goodguy: “Shut it fedora boy. Show some respect. You stand in the presence of the most dangerous man alive!”

Steve: “Not anymore mate.”

Goodguy: “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!”

Steve: “I’ll reck yer cheeky ass all the way back to the fookin-’”

Jones: “Guys, Guys, we don't have much time. Let's go.”

//end of scene

Chapter 3:

Clones to Jones

//exterior. Day. Wherever we deem fit for the final showdown. The masked man stands propped up against a wall. Sketchy Steve is ready to snipe and Johnny Labcoat is his spotter. Goodguy waits around a corner with a machine gun. Jones approaches the masked man.

Jones: “Here I am! Ready to fight you with no unfair advantages whatsoever!”

Masked Man: “That was just a ruse to get you here. I have something of critical importance to tell you.”

Jones: “Tell it to the cleaning lady on monday! Now!”

//Steve fires the sniper rifle at the masked man’s head, but the masked man catches the bullet in his fingers like the karate kid catching that fly. Jones looks shocked and the masked man kicks jones sending him flying a disproportionately long distance. Goodguy runs out with his machine gun and points it at the masked man’s head. The masked man grabs the end of the barrel and Goodguy fires the weapon, but the masked man stops it with his hand. MM then pushes on the gun, which hits Goodguy in the face and knocks him out. MM then takes out his bullpup and shoots Goodguy in the head. Sketchy steve fires more shots but all of them either miss or get caught. Jones gets back up and charges MM. He runs up to the wall behind MM and kicks off of it and fires his handgun but misses.  MM sees the pistol and grabs it out of his hand. He revolver spins it, while jones is unsure what to do. MM points the pistol and Jones ducks, but MM shoots Steve instead. Labcoat panics and charges towards the masked man. Labcoat grapples MM, somewhat ineffectively, but this gives jones a chance to punch MM a bunch. MM punches jones in the face, knocking him over, and then snaps Labcoat’s neck. Jones screams out in slow motion, “Jesus H. Christ on a bike, holy shit!” , grimaces dramatically at camera and charges towards MM. Jones assualts him with a flurry of punches but MM blocks most of them. Jones finally lands a punch in MMs face. And the mask shatters, revealing the face of Kickbutt Jones. The masked man falls to the ground, defeated. Jones stands over him, confused and angry.

Jones: “Explain yourself!”

Mask: “What the fuck did you just say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top-”

//Jones points a gun at MM’s face.

Mask: “Fine. Fine. It’s why I brought you here anyway. I am Kickbutt Jones, the most dangerous man alive. The agency succeeded in its cloning program. It made you. And it sent you to hunt me down and kill me. And clearly it worked. The agency won.”

Jones: “It's not too late! We can team up! Defeat the agency!”

Mask: “I'm already dying. And you're shit. Besides, they never send just one.”

//View through sniper rifle scope, pointed at Kickbutt Clone. Gunshot and Cut to black. Cut back from back. Wow! Suprise! Fedora Boy stands there with a sniper rifle.

Fedora Boy: “I really didn’t want to be in this movie, so I am just going to end the plot prematurely. Uh [Looks puzzled, then shouts over shoulder] LINE! [Some whispering from off camera, then he looks down the scope] You should have done your homework, if you didn't want to get schooled.”

CREDITS

After Credits Scene: Punchboot Jonkins - A Real Danger One

//in regards to sequels: We don't actually show jones or clones dying. Also we have cloning. Calm your tits.

Current canonical ending. The Masked Man catches the sniper round. This won't be in this movie. That would make the ending not an ending.