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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 5 years

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Angst ending- Deku focuses all the energy stored in OfA into his fist, including his own life force. He manages to defeat the villain, but not only his arm is ruined forever, but he manages to lift and clench it into a fist as a final gesture of victory, before dropping dead on the ground.

actual picture of me reading this ask:

HHH but,,,i can see this happening and ive actually thought abt smth similar

so im thinkin in the inevitable final battle we’re gonna have of ua vs. all for one and the league of villains, midoriya probably is gonna have to face off shigaraki and all for one all by himself (cause toshinori is not gonna be in any state to fight)(but i refuse to believe hs gonna be dead though nope no no)

maybe bakugou will be there for a couple of seconds but midroiya’s mostly gonna have to deal w it on his own

anyway so the nomus r the biggest problem. theyre strong and have absolutely no qualms abt hurting and killing ppl, and worst of all, they will not stop at anything unless u somehow manage to kill/incapacitate them bc they will Not stop obeying orders

and who gives them orders? shigaraki and all for one

midoriya picks up on this during their fight, so he’s trying as hard as he fuckign can to stop them bc holy shit his friends and teachers and schoolmates are all on the line and he CANNOT afford to mess this up

so as the battle wears on and as midoriya gets more exhausted, he realizes,,,theres only gonna be a couple ways to end this in his favor. and fuck, he’s so scared, he’s not even technically done with high school yet, he hasnt saved nearly enough people, but his friends, they need him to focus now, so-

so he starts building up one for all, but its gonna take time so he needs to figure out how he can distract all for one and shigaraki while he does this

so he talks and dodges attacks mostly bc he can’t attack at all if he wants a build-up of power

this leaves him,,,vulnerable,,,though,,,

shigaraki probs decays some of his chest nd hero suit, but its nothing midoriya can’t ignore for the time being. no, he’s mostly worried abt all for one, and if he’ll figure out what midoriya is doing

all for one does, in fact, figure out what midoriya is doing, bc this is exactly how his brother would act

so he does his power/red-black stabby quirk bs nd midoriya gets stabbed like three times (leg arm and shoulder) but still midoriya is holding on bc he needs their attention to stay on him so they cant give the nomus additional orders, nd also he needs to end this like yesterday

since midoriya is focusing on one for all, he can hear the other users’ voices. some of them are yelling at him, asking him what the hell he’s doing, doesnt he know he’s gonna kill himself?, some of them are shouting out directions for him to dodge and jump and run and anything to help keep him alive, and one voice (all for one’s brother) is telling him how to keep the power buildup so it wont rebound onto midoriya (…at least, not until it’s supposed to)

so midoriya listens, cause he cant really talk back to them to reassure them otherwise, nd he’s just. so exhausted honestly, and also his arm is starting to burn which is frankly the last thing he has time to worry about, but also it means it’s working, just a little longer-

midoriya feels smth click when his life force slides into the deal, nd all for one’s brother is kinda like “hey kid so problem” but midoriya still can’t talk back, and he can see his friends in the distance behind all for one and shiagraki on another part of the battlefield, and they look- they look-

theyre just as exhausted as he is, and theyre surrounded by nomu, and midoriya will not let them get hurt, so-

so he begins to charge, because when his life force connected with one for all’s power, he knew the build-up was ready to be used

all of the previous users are screaming at him for a hot second, before all for one’s brother gives midoriya directions on how and where to hit his brother to be most effective. midoriya ignores how sad and choked up he sounds cause he just doesnt have time-

just like all might, midoriya fakes one hit and parries with another; shigaraki is right next to them, a hand reaching out to disintegrate midoriya’s arm, so he gets caught up in the blast as well.

everything goes white for a moment and midoriya cant really feel anything for a split second.

then the world fades back in, and midoriya’s entire fucking body is burning, gaining intensity the closer you are to his arm. He’s almost certain his arm has been completely blown off, but when he opens his eyes, it’s still there.

horribly mutilated, but there. his hand is still curled into a fist, still punching all for one.

oh. all for one.

midoriya tries not to throw up at the sight.

yeah, he’s not getting back up again. the only problem is, midoriya thinks as he stumbles back a couple steps, he himself is probably not, either.

the force of the blow left him in a crater. he almost wants to cry, because dammit, everything is on fire; he knows that his entire arm and shoulder are broken, and it seems like everything else is not far behind. his nose and mouth are dripping blood, in addition to the flesh wounds on his chest (thanks, shigaraki) and the stab wounds from earlier bleeding like no tomorrow; how is he gonna climb out of here?

still, despite his grievances, midoriya shuffles forward, each step aching as he tries to claw out of the literal hole he’s punched himself into. he cant move the arm he punched with at all; his fist is still clenched.

still, he manages to heave himself up and out of the crater. the battle is at a standstill, is what he finds when he reaches the top.

some people have passed out from the sound, midoriya can see. jirou lies protected by yaomomo and kaminari as she tries to get her bearings again.

others have passed out due to the blast snatching oxygen away from them for a few precious moments. they’ll be fine, though, midoriya can tell; he can see kirishima’s chest rising and falling as he breathes unconsciously.

midoriya raises his gaze, exhuasted, to where his friends were in the distance, seconds before he punched all for one.

he can see shigaraki passed out, having hit the side of an upturned rock too hard, which was there thanks for pixie bob

his friends are okay. theyre stumbing to their feet, looking about, and he catches todoroki’s eye while they do so.

he smiles then, breathes out a sigh of relief – theyre okay – before raising his fist (the one that’s horribly mutilated; it hurts to move, but midoriya doesn’t care).

he starts falling back, then, and he can’t shift his feet to regain his balance.

he falls like a house of cards.

his breath rattles in his chest, and it’s how he knows he’s not long for this world, anymore.

he’s too exhausted to feel panicked, per se, but he- he’s gonna miss his friends so much, he’s gonna miss mom, toshinori-

tears start collecting in his eyes, but he’s too dehydrated to form enough of them that they can fall down his face freely.

he doesnt- fuck, he doesn’t regret doing it, he just-

he’s not going to last long enough for anyone to even get to him, he’s going to die with no goodbyes-

then the voices of the other users fill his head again.

their soft, sorrowful congratulations, reassurances that he did the right thing, and that dying is scary but it doesn’t hurt, and he’s going to be okay, wherever he ends up next.

it does little to ease the fear, but it does do something, so midoriya is thankful nonetheless.

im sorry, all for one’s brother says abruptly.

why?

my fight with my brother should never have ended at the cost of a teenager’s life.

midoriya can’t help but laugh a little then. he coughs up blood for it. if all it took was one life, i’m glad it was mine. i wouldnt want anyone else to fall to him.

and it’s true, midoriya isn’t lying, it’s just. he’s gonna miss his loved ones so much.

he closes his eyes, breathes out of a broken chest one more time. his lungs are too tired to inflate again.

distantly, he can hear his friends calling his name, but he’s just…so tired…

there are soft murmurings from the other one for all users, but midoriya can’t make them out anymore.

all he can really hear is a ringing in his ears, an echoing call of, “Midoriya!” but he cant…

he hasnt done nearly enough. he doesnt feel like he deserves this rest.

but…all for one is gone. surely he can take a few minutes for himself?

yes, that should be fine.

the world falls away.

#fun fact! i cried while writing this #also holy SHIT this got long im so sorry djkfjnkd #i just. have feelings #oh shit #also i learned how to finally add a read more link to go me #anyway im in tears #me: midoriya is my favorite character!#also me: what good is mha angst if midoriya doesnt fucking die in it huh #anyway u have simultaneously fed and hurt me with this ask #im cry #midoriya izuku #c makes a word #answer

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dear--charlie · 6 years

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Dear Charlie,

i have so many emotions all the time. and quite frankly, it’s so exhausting. everything’s exhausting. im not happy. im not content. im overwhelmed. i think about a lot of things and i dwell way too much on the past. i think about how much time i wasted because i didn’t want to confront “the real world.” i didn’t help myself back then and im still not helping myself and time is running out. honestly, i didn’t expect to get this far. i was always waiting for something to end my life. im in a constant state of limbo. i don’t care but i do care. and a lot of the times i hate that i care deeply and too much.

the biggest thing that’s weighing on me is how im going to live my life in the future. i don’t know what im going to do. im in a constant state of being lost and not knowing. i hate not knowing. people think that’s adventurous and fun but im afraid of failing and just. i don’t know. it’s always i don’t know. i want to know what to expect and how things will turn out. i don’t know how to be spontaneous. i don’t know how to work around that. i don’t know how to bs my way through life like everyone else. i don’t know how to “fake it til i make it.”

anyway.

im so irritated that receiving education is a financial burn. another reason why i hated myself for wasting my younger years and not taking advantage of public school. i was just in it for the social aspect of it all. it was all about being popular, on the internet and in school, and having friends. and now there’s a possible increase in taxation for grad students. i want to further my education because im semi getting an idea of how what i want to do. i think grad school would help. i think grad school would buy my more time because im also not ready to get into the work force. but also im having doubts. grad school is 5x more intense and im already stressed and overwhelmed with the workload. im not good at writing papers and academic research. i like art and design. i like creating things that provoke emotional responses for people because that’s what it does for me. i resonate a lot with shows and art pieces and fan art and just. yeah.

my parents are pushing for me to go to grad school because if im going to do it, then i better get on it. my dad talked about how he regretted not going straight for it. there’s a lot of pros and cons for going and not going right away. i like the idea of doing a gap year but im afraid my mom’s going to push me to do things i don’t want to do during the year. i want to completely focus on what i want to do and my mom’s most likely going to keep me from doing that. it’s also the fact that i have to take the GRE and get recommendation letters and that grad school requires interviews. im not confident enough for this. i haven’t been involved enough for my professors to notice me in a good way. i don’t have time to make good impressions. im barely above the water just trying to keep myself afloat.

i don’t have a lot of faith in myself because i know what im capable of and it’s not a lot. i just wish things weren’t so complicated. i hate how the university congratulates me on being a good student and helping the university’s stats about academic achievement and yet they don’t do anything for their students. my college within the university doesn’t get grant money. it’s always like this with art colleges. reward us at least for killing ourselves to “make your school look good” in terms of getting good grades.

im rambling now. im just so frustrated with how life is and how people are.

can i just go be a recluse in the woods and enjoy nature.

…..

thanks charlie for letting me rant to you about my frustrations. i know they may seem trivial in comparison to others. but you know, everyone is fighting their own battles and we’re not here to make it a competition. someone’s situation doesn’t invalidate another person’s situation.

okay im done for now.

love always,

bee

#dear charlie #bee

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