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calocera · 4 years

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SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here��s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices

#cats the musical #cats movie #cats spoilers #my post

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potatoesandsunshine · 4 years

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truly incoherent late-night ramblings about the mighty nein and pride under the cut. an unorganized stream of consciousness basically. i’m so tired i have so many Thoughts

cad saying tonight that nobody in the m9 is vain (can’t remember if he said “none of us are vain” or “none of you are vain” but i’m going with the first one bc i can’t watch it again till it goes up on yt) really got me thinking because my immediate reaction was “no? that’s not true?” but i couldn’t figure out why exactly i thought that - so naturally i spent the rest of the episode pondering it.

like... the members of the mighty nein are each in their own way juggling a massive load of insecurity and in some cases just pure self-loathing but they’re still very... they’re not vain, but they are proud to the point of arrogance which is just super interesting from a character perspective (just wanna note here this is not a “and this makes x character A Bad Person” hot take or whatever, characters have character flaws and that’s what makes them interesting to me, please don’t come to my inbox saying i hate fjord or caleb or caduceus or veth or jester or beau or yasha because that’s just not the case) anyway imo yasha is currently the only one who hasn’t shown a big moment of this flaw, everybody else has. yes it’s possible i don’t remember a moment for yasha at this second but tbh she’s spent so much time getting controlled by other forces this campaign like :( give yasha a break challenge :( she gets one from this post

early on beau had her kind of rebel without a cause, too cool for school thing going on - to me that’s a kind of pride? like it came from a feeling of isolation and disconnect from the people around her and the structures her life had operated in and also the idea that “i’m the only one who sees how bullshit everything is” that’s (at least in my own experience) a really common feeling in late teens/early twenties. honestly the first moment that shook her out of it was dairon imo (i know that a lot of beau’s change is attributed to molly’s death but i honestly think it started back with that brawl in the warehouse) and dairon has continued to be a (flawed themselves) check against arrogance for beau which is really interesting to me? anyway continuing

fjord’s whole persona that kinda wasn’t a persona during the pirates arc (i’m talking specifically about the captain pursuing his own ends, not about the accent thing) was very much a character based on knowing more about the world than everybody else did, even though i don’t think fjord himself believed it? honestly for all that you can say about fjord i think he’s lowest on the list in terms of pride (besides yasha!! who isn’t on this list!!) bc he’s very honest about the fact that he often feels like he just does not know what’s going on around him. props to that bc it is hard to do.

veth’s biggest Moment of this (and pride just doesn’t feel like the right word but i don’t know how else to capture the meaning, the idea of Knowing Better than everyone else i guess? you know what i mean) that i can think of is the letter to astrid in zadash that everyone screamed about bc caleb was the current fandom favorite sadboi at the time; it was such a big moment of trying to arrange someone else’s life for them that’s like. like it’s a Big Moment idk how to explain it. i think a lot of the responsibility she feels for yezza and luc also relies on the premise that she Knows Best which again is super interesting because it clearly causes her a lot of guilt that she’s not doing Enough for them in her own eyes when it’s like... like... talk to each other... idk idk i have Feelings about the brenattos. Arranging the lives of other people, no matter your intentions, is imo a thing that comes from thinking you Know Better than they do.

caleb... i so do not want to re-litigate the disintegrate discourse that was imo truly a waste of time last week but i do agree with the idea that caleb’s got ye olde mythological-level hubris. the man has a goal of turning back time to rewrite his own mistakes and like it’s not just a dream it’s a Goal He’s Working Towards which means that either 1) he believes it’s possible for him to do it or 2) he can’t admit that it isn’t possible and he has to live with ‘his’ mistakes (i can’t get into the caleb stuff rn but uhhh it’s not as much a personal failing as you believe it is caleb). both of these viewpoints are like. so dependent on viewing himself as A Power That Affects The Universe instead of someone who is affected by it which is kind of the sentiment i’m trying to get at idk idk it’s late i’m tired

it’s interesting with jester and caduceus for a couple reasons but the fact that they’re both literally blessed by gods is like... like i can’t say they’re unduly proud (i don’t really think that any of the m9 are like unduly proud) because they’re literally made More Important by the deities of the setting from the moment of introduction but we do still see really interesting stuff from both of them imo

caduceus thinks he knows better than everybody else which is something i think we’ve seen from the beginning as well? that’s part of why he’s kind of set himself up as the Wise Councilor of the group (and if you ask me, why he seems unable to reach out for support of his own - all the instances of someone digging deeper into him were instigated by other people from what i can remember right now) and it’s been neat to see him reconciling things he Knows Are Right from his time in the cemetery with a more complicated reality in the wider world. it’s hard for me to say that cad’s arrogant because he thinks he’s privy to the literal divine plan when he is privy to an actual divine plan thanks to the wildmother but i think it’s interesting to see it in the small moments. we saw it more earlier i think? but like this part of his character isn’t Gone. as long as he’s got himself designated as the group moral compass i think there’s an element of this in play.

and jester ohh jester i love u i’m so sorry everything has been so hard for so long like aaaa imagine you find out your best friend (who is also your god) has been lying to you for all of your friendship and also lying to all of his followers (because it turns out he’s not a god, technically) that’s so hard anyway. anway. i don’t wanna derail into talking about how much i love jester but i love her ok? ok. anyway jester’s current defense mechanism is retreating into the fact that she’s the best follower of the traveler and he loves her the most, because she’s Special (which again, her god told her this there’s literally nothing i can say against it) but we’re seeing that kind of fracture in an interesting way if you ask me? because the fact of the matter is, whenever jester asks a question about ‘the followers of the traveler’ she is implicitly also asking a question about herself (this is why i was so fascinated by her convo with fjord tonight also). it only works for So Long to keep repeating that you’re special when you’re not sure about it anymore oh jester i am so worried about u ohhh :( i am so sleepy but i have so many thoughts

#cr spoilers #critical role #i mean the character flaw pride just to be clear

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