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jamestrmtx · 3 years

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Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Three | sans. (Part 3 of 3 | His POV)

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As if being blessed by Lady Luck herself, the owner of the establishment calls for Jerry to tend to unloading inventory, forcing him to end his glare on Sans and move his attention elsewhere. His internal conflict manifests itself through physical means, as he stays frozen in place to settle between keeping his job and minding his business with the monster. With another call from his boss, louder and firmer this time in comparison to the friendly reminder from earlier, he clenches his jaw and loosens it up with a scoff. "You're damn lucky the place's packed," he says, looking back towards Sans again. He takes a stray receipt from the counter, takes a pen, and scribbles something on it, handing it over to the monster when he's done. "Take this, and stay the hell away from my family."

"So like you're doing?" Sans counters, snickering.

"Screw off."

The man leaves him be with those last two words and another worker takes his place behind the register, looking fatigued from presumably having to deal with all the work at the back by herself. The expression on her face says it all: she overheard only some parts of the conversation, and was either curious to know more about it or misinterpreting the situation altogether, though she doesn't mention a word about it. Rather, she picks herself up and greets him with a smile. "Good afternoon, sir. For here, or to-go?"

That simple question settles a puzzle in Sans's mind; given he barely knew the human waiting for him at the table, he couldn't make any rash decisions, so he considers all the options through and through. He could make an easy escape from meeting with Jerry again simply by choosing to-go, yet he still wanted to talk with (Y/N) about the subject of Frisk and the Underground. Not only that, but ordering to-go without informing them about it wasn't something normal for how much they knew each other; rather, it would seem rude to decide without giving the human a chance to speak their thoughts on the subject. And if he invited them to eat their orders out elsewhere, it would look wrong; either like he really did mean his vaguely flirty texts, or that he didn't feel comfortable enough with them around.

"Sir?"

"To-go, please," he blurts out, it being the first thing on his mind.

The monster tells her both orders and is then asked to wait. He does so by walking off back to the table, where Frisk's parent still waits at, either completely oblivious of what went on at the register, or masking it based on their calm look and nonchalant sitting position. Their expression takes a turn when they meet with his irises, and they speak up when he's finally close enough for them to make their words hushed. "That was my ex-husband, wasn't it?" they ask, smile strained and brows furrowed. "Could we, uh… take our orders-"

"To-go?" he intervenes, chuckling.

Their smile loses some of its tension, and they let out a laugh. "How did you know?"

He sits with them at the chair across from theirs, nudging himself to an angle where he shields them from the ordering counter. "Between you saying he stopped visiting and that he didn't show up when Frisk went missing, I'd say you're not exactly head over heels for 'im anymore."

"Far from it," they reply, sighing. "It's just plain ridiculous for him to be so worked up about this now. He had his time ages ago." They rock their fingers against the table's surface and frown, looking deep in thought. "What did he say, anyway? ...I tried not to look, but I still saw when he got all angry at you."

"It's related to what I want to talk to you about. Though I'm not sure how he got that info so fast."

Their eyes spark and widen, the hand on the table clenching the edge in expectancy. "So he already knows all about it?"

"Dunno if all, but it looks like he's already dug a lil' bit into my past."

A buzz from the human's phone brings a halt to the conversation. He looks to where the sound comes from before taking a look at their expression, clearly vexed by the name of the sender. Their hand trembles and he notices how they have to tighten their grip on the device to prevent its fall.

"Jerry?" he asks.

They nod. "Excuse me for a moment."

Sans nods back and observes as they stand up from their seat and walk off to a corner of the diner. The switch in the human's expression is almost immediate, changing from curiosity to shock the second they click on the message. The phone meets the floor and ends up making a noise far too loud for it to come out unscathed, results of a tiled floor and the device landing screen-first against it. Still, they don't seem to care over that particular matter and stare at the floor with those same, wide eyes, a look that's carried back to him.

"You…"

Their words come off in a hoarse whisper, and they have to scratch their throat to continue with, "Is this true? Y- You gave Frisk a death threat as a warning for… for what, exactly?" Their voice's louder now, surroundings seeming to blur into nothing given how little they care over being heard by those closer around. "They didn't hurt you, so why did you threaten to hurt them?" Their shocked expression changes to anger, a deep glare that refuses to falter even as they take a step closer, ignoring the phone laying on the floor. "And what did he mean when he said your job was to kill humans? What…. What did Asgore order you to do, and how come you're still allowed to run freely -- as you please? How much of this is true, and how much of this isn't?

They take a pause to pick up their phone, another buzz being heard from it. The screen's cracked from end to end, yet they don't seem to mind over that either and tear up when they read the latest message. "Is… Is that why Toriel had to leave out of the blue? Was she expecting something like this to happen to her, too?" The human's voice breaks, though they recover with another scratch of their throat. "Did she also hurt Frisk? How… How am I supposed to even be anywhere near you when you used to be a heartless man who followed ordered regardless of-"

"Please, ca-"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down."

They huff, regaining some of their composure through it. "You have the next few minutes to explain why the hell your job as a sentry involved killing people regardless of their actions."

"(L/N), please liste-"

"Tell me."

They cross their arms and keep their glare on him. The phone continues to buzz, but they ignore it, all of their attention now being focused on Sans. An excruciatingly long beat of silence passes before he finally relents with a huff. They sit down, and he sits across from them, gaze facing theirs again. "What specifically do ya wanna know about?"

"What your job as a sentry implied. The rest can wait depending on what terms we're left with after this."

"Alright." He tries to smile in hopes of making their anger soften, though it's a vain attempt; a bad one, more specifically, taking into account how much angrier they get. "But could you promise ya won't freak out?"

"I'm afraid I can't. It all depends, really. Being told you used to throw death threats at innocent people doesn't exactly make me trust you any more than what I did a few seconds ago."

"But-"

"Order 44!"

He lets out a breath and proceeds to stand up. "Talk to you inna second? We can go to the food court and find a place there to eat."

"...Sure," they reply, a smile finally managing to return. "And thanks for helping me back there. I don't think I'd be able to tolerate Jerry coming up to me now of all times."

"Anytime," he says, winking. It's then that he realizes what he's done, an action made purely out of custom, though thankfully, they only show shock at having their thanks accepted rather than shrugged off.

Hopefully, his conversation with them wouldn't turn out as bad as he anticipated it to.

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The time to confess over his own sins arrives when both the human and himself are finished eating. Only his drink's left resting on the table, theirs already long gone with how quick they downed it after the meal. Had their choice been alcohol, he would've imagined them tipsy, given they barely gave themselves much time to consume it or so much as enjoy its taste and temperature. (Y/N) begins by asking how much of what Jerry had texted was true and over what actions the skeleton took when meeting with Frisk at the Underground.

The first few questions are simple enough and pass as smooth as his choice of drink, up until they ask, "So what exactly are you guilty of? Frisk told me to be careful around you, but in a fun sort of sense. And… And not because of you being dangerous or ever causing them any harm."

He breathes in, feeling obliged to brace himself for what he's about to say.

"I'm… guilty of not helping them out as much as I should've," Sans says, setting his drink aside. He already feels a tightness in his chest, incrementing when he continues with, "And there was one point where I might've come off too strong… Where I quite frankly told them to watch their back around me, and that I'd be there to handle the situation if it ever got outta hand."

"What kind of situation?" (Y/N) asks, a change in tone already present.

"Hurting my kind." He sighs out a deep breath, letting himself find some sort of ease amongst the ache building up in his rib cage. It was too soon to be enemies with the human sitting across from him, and to be frank, he didn't even want to be on negative terms with them, either. He simply wanted to have another friend; another person he could look forward to spending his time with more often. "I... warned them about what would happen if they dared to do anything bad to other people, but in the least humane wording possible." He takes another sip from his drink, feeling his non-existent throat turn sore. "Frankly, and just like Jerry already told you: it's all true. I, well... I threatened Frisk with death, even though they hadn't harmed anyone during their journey down there."

"So it's all true? Even the part about your job being to basically hunt after humans, no matter what?" They stand up from their seat, hands slamming over the table on par with their shout. In contrast to the ire he anticipated from them, he sees the same shock from before in their eyes and an open mouth reveals their disbelief. "I… Y- You... You're not joking, aren't you?!"

Thankfully, they're both sitting at a table too far away for anyone around to take immediate notice of the human's reaction. That allows the monster to breathe out again and reply with, "It's the raw truth, cross my soul," he says, meeting with their eyes. "As a judge and main sentry for the Underground, I was meant to treat everyone equally, no matter their age, race, or any of that stuff. I judged based on actions; on the person's background and intentions. So when it was time for me to meet with a new person, I went all out, no matter the costs or repercussions of my actions, or the feelings I had about what I was about to do." Sans takes a long pause, needing some time to recollect himself. "To be brief, that was the job assigned to me, and one I was meant to fulfill no matter how that would affect my relationship with that new person I crossed paths with."

"Wh- Why?" they blurt, the anger he expected finally showing through. Still, they sit down, avoiding unwanted attention from other people. "Why did Asgore come up with that idea, a- and why did you go along with it? Why… Was there no other option? Or did neither of you two ever bother searching for one?" A wet gaze greets him when he makes eye contact with the human again, conflicting with their scowl and sharp, furrowed gaze. "Are all of you guys like this? H- How many of you are innocent, and how many of you hurt my child? Are Toriel and MK the only ones I can trust? Because if I'm going to follow along with what Frisk's told me so far, th- the only monsters that they've mentioned without any reluctance have been those two. They... They always freeze up every time I ask them about any other monster they made friends with." Their voice begins to shake and a few tears spill from their eyes. "I… I'm sorry if this seems like too much, b- But I need to know, Sans, I… I need to know who hurt them, and what I can do to protect them. I need to be strict, and I- I need to make up for those two months I wasn't able to be there for them."

Sans.

The human has been calling him 'mister Serif' for a good while now.

Out of all the possible ways and times they could've said his actual, first name, and it had to be during a moment of anger and confusion. He tries not to acknowledge just how bitter and dry his name had come out of their mouth and instead focuses on lending out a hand to them, both in a metaphorical and literal sense. He drags the chair a bit closer to them and hovers his body over the table standing between them, placing a hand on the human's shoulder and snapping them out of their spiral.

"(Y/N), please just... Just breathe, and calm down for a moment," he mutters, making them face his gaze, stern and sober. "This's why I wanna tell you everythin' bit by bit. There's a lot more to the story, and I know you wanna be a good parent for Frisk, so please, take a breath and hear me out. I won't ask you to forgive me, but for your time to listen to what I have to say, instead." He almost flinches when their hand touches the one he'd placed over their shoulder, though he combats that feeling by looking away for a quick moment to recollect his thoughts. "We have a whole history explaining why things worked at the Underground the way they did until recently," he continues. "And even though I know that doesn't mean all of our actions are justified, we still had our reasons, just as your kind -- your ancestors -- did for sealing us underground."

They let go of his hand, a subtle action that tells him it's time to let them go. He does just that and sits back down on his chair, taking another sip from the drink on his side of the table to combat the sour taste forming in his tongue. "I know I have absolutely no right in telling you to calm down anymore and that I shouldn't've even said it the first time. But I still want you to listen, so that you can help Frisk establish their new life with the other monsters at the Surface; with all the friends they made at the Underground, but also by knowing what some of those friends did and just who of us you can entrust their safety to." He offers his hand out to them, letting a smile ease out the grim aftertaste of his words. "So, whaddya say? Wanna hear me out? I promise to be honest with you, so long as you can promise to hear me and my kind out, and learn more 'bout our choices in the past."

"I…"

That's the only word he can hear from them as they stare at his hand, a wary glance being directed at it. "Could we hug it out again? I, well... still don't trust shaking your hand after what Frisk told me about you."

Though he hesitates for a second, he gives in with a grin and a nod. "Sure thing," he replies, chuckling. "C'mere, pal."

Sans stands up, and (Y/N) does the same.

They lean down to his height and let their arms sneak around his back, pulling him in for a second hug in just one day; on his first day meeting the human in person and on his first week here at the Surface, to be more exact. That same gentleness from before reaches his soul, enveloping him with a strong sense of safety, serenity, and warmth, despite the circumstances of it all. It was of no doubt that the person hugging him cared greatly for Frisk's happiness, almost just as much as they did for Frisk's safety. That shows through how willing they were to listen to him, how quickly they regained composure, and how welcoming their hug is, almost as if they were offering him a second chance to hear him out -- and just by the feeling of that hug alone.

"Thanks for being patient with me," he mutters, still kept in the hug. "I promise I'll try to provide you with as much information as I can." He lets go and finally stares at them again. "That sounds good to ya? Or are ya bored of me already?"

Tension eases out as the human lets a laugh burst through. "Sounds good," they reply, smiling. "And don't worry. I… I'm not bored of you yet -- Far from it, actually."

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And that's it for this week!

I'm still trying to figure out a good publishing schedule, but updates will continue to be weekly on Saturdays as usual, with the exception of double updates. :-)

#sans x reader #undertale x reader #lgbt #lgbt themes #gender neutral reader #male reader #female reader #mother reader #father reader #parent reader #chubby reader #long fic #romcom #adventure #mystery #platonic relationships #slow burn

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icharchivist · 3 years

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hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

#ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #ichareply

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captainfantasticspastic · 7 years

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“So the doc said I have ____ Seizures. What does that actually mean?” An Updated Cheat Sheet

So you’ve been diagnosed with epilepsy. Great… what does that even mean?

“Epilepsy is a seizure disorder,” meaning you’re brain is more likely to send off mixed signals, than the next guy. But that’s alright, ‘cause I’m going to lay down the basics of what you need to know. Lol.

First, let’s get this straight: everyone is capable of having a seizure. You stick lil’ Timmy infront of a high speed strobe for long enough, sooner or later his brain will say “What the hell am I looking at? I can’t keep up!” And he’ll wind up on the floor.

Folks who have Epilepsy, like you and I, are no different. We see things, hear things, feel, and taste, just like any other human being. Okay? What I’m trying to get at here is you are not a freak of nature. You are not a mutant. Sadly, no, you do not have special powers to set objects aflame. (I know. That bummed me out too.) No! Instead, you’re just a normal dudelet - just chillin with the rest of the human race.

But what does makes us different, is that we have a lower seizure tolerance than most. That’s it. I know right? When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like a big deal. That’s cause it isn’t. What is a big deal, are the seizures themselves, which I’ll get to in a hot minute.

So what IS a seizure? Great question. “… a sudden surge of electrical activity in the brain,” says The Epilepsy Foundation (epilepsy.com). Another, but equally scientific, definition describes it as, “the workers in your brain going, ‘What the actual fuck are we dealing with here?’ And proceeding to lose their shit,”

Pretty much, something - be it lights, lack of sleep, stress, booze, high pitched beeping, the sight of toast, whatever - will set off this seizure. This is called a Trigger. Triggers are things that our brains don’t generally enjoy. They tend to me things that could give a person headaches, or migraines; or make you feel out of sorts if you have to deal with them for too long. It is possible for some to “delay” a seizure, or even stave it off completely. Not everyone can do this though. I know someone who’s been able to prevent her seizures by sleeping with a foot on the floor. I (sometimes) can push one off if I feel one coming on, by either her being physically active or focusing on something solid, to remind myself im not floating away. But as I said, not everyone can do it. It depends on what type of seizures you have, and how in tune you are with your body. I only figured out my method after years of experimenting.

Anyway, so we got the basics. Back to….

Seizures! There are two major categories from which we have a variety of flavors.

There’s Focal and Generalized. The main difference between the two is how they start. Easy enough, right? (I’ve heard tell of a third classification “Unknown Onset”, but we’ll get into that later)

First we have Focal Onset: Focal seizures happen in specific parts of the brain - Sort of like a controlled mob.

Focal Onset Aware (aka Simple Partial): Im gonna be frank with you here. There are like a million types of Simple Partial Seizures. I probably won’t hit every kind, and I apologize if I’ve skipped someone out there. Ya know. My bad. Nonetheless I’ll do my best.

Simple Partials are pretty cool is that you are awake for them. Oh yeah. That’s right. You can have a seizure and be totally cognizant. These are the ones many refer to as “Auras”. Yeah, you know that “warning” you get before blacking out? That my friend is most likely a simple partial seizure. They’re like little seizures. Aw cute, right. No! They’re a pain in the ass! (Ehem. Apologies) anyway, as I said before, they can come in a whole bunch of types. To save time, I’m just going to give you a list of the effects:

Some people experience Deja Vu, out of body experiences, weird tastes in your mouth, (there’s emotional/psychological kinds) that’s make you have intense sorrow, or a sense of impending doom, others make you randomly filled with a god-like rage.

Others make your hands, fingers, toes, legs, etc twitch.

Some make it IMPOSSIBLE to find the right words/understand words/even read, and you suddenly feel illiterate and as if English is your second language despite being brought up in the US. (I’m not emotionally invested or anything).

Honestly, for these, you really should look it up yourself. I’ll be doing a separate post just for them, but nonetheless. It’s too important, and it’s one that truly is unique to the person.

Focal Onset Unaware (aka Complex Partial):

These are like simple partial seizures, but you’re NOT awake. Apparently many experience lip smacking during it. I wouldn’t know, because I’m out for the count. The one thing I do know is they can go into Generalized Seizures. This is not common however, that’s just the case for me.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG

Next we have Generalized: “Generalized” Seizure are seizures that effect both sides of your brain. *Imagine a stray cluster of teenage neurons are having a house party, and EVERYONE shows up.*. [Neurons are the little electric dudes that’s race around your head and make everything work/tell different parts of your brain what’s going on]

Tonic-Clonic (Motor): This is the big nasty one that people believe all seizures look like. The person loses consciousness, and convulses (shakes).

What It’s Like: They don’t hurt while it happens; but I’ll be honest with you, it can feel like you’ve been hit by a bus coming out of it. Basically, you’ve been clenching up and releasing muscles you didn’t even know you had over and over really really quickly. It’s like being super out of shape, and then made to do a triathlon athlete’s complete workout circuit in 2-5 minutes. At a weird angle, so you probably get dinged up along the way. So yeah. I’d describe it as waking up to limp noodles for tendons and joints, and fiery rocks for muscles. It’s sorta like how you’d imagine the hero of an action film would ACTUALLY feel like if the scenario were real.

Absence: these are super quick, but can happen MANY many times a day. They’re so quick that they’re almost impossible to notice. You stare for a few seconds, and snap out of it. I know, not very scary. What sucks is that you can lose time with them. So one second you’ll be lovin life, and suddenly, black, you forgot what you were saying, and a whole bunch of things that happened recently. This all comes back though, eventually.

Clonic Seizures: Unlike Tonic Clonic, these big and nasties happen while you’re awake. (Fun fact: Tonic is the part of the seizure where you stiffen and fall unconscious. Clonic is where you convulse). So needless to say, these can hurt. Actually, they do hurt. A lot. I’ve only had a couple in my time, thankfully, but it feels like everything’s described earlier for Tonic-Clonics, except you are wide awake the entire time to enjoy every bump, scratch, and uncontrolled spasm. Oh, and it feels like there are electric shocks going through you. At least it did for me. These tend to last a few minutes.

Tonic Seizures: these tend to happen in your sleep, but they don’t have to necessarily. The muscles in your legs, arms, or abdomen tense up for about 20 seconds. It’s relatively harmless, but can mean for some serious loss of balance if it happens while standing up. (Also they’re just a pain, and can wear you out, honestly)

Atonic: These I’ll admit, can be spooky. Basically your muscles go limp for about 15 seconds at a time. So you might now be able to hold your head up; or suddenly you drop everything cause your arms go out. It’s not fun. It’s actually less than 15 seconds, but some people can have a bunch of these in a row. If its bad enough, some may consider wearing a helmet, if a fall hazard arises.

Myoclonic: Muscles will jerk as it electricuted. Apparently these seizures can start in the same part of the brain as Atonic, and many who have one have been known to experience the other.

So that’s what you missed on Glee! Any questions, comments, moans or groans, shoot em up my way! If anyone has any knowledge of Tonic Clonic Seizures, id love to hear it! And if I missed anything, please let me know!!

Hope this can be of some help for you newbies out there, (or for you other folks like I who never got the full story on their diagnoses til much later lol)

And don’t worry friend. I know Epilepsy is rough. I know it sounds scary, but you’re going to be fine. You’ve got an entire community who has your back :) So hang in there Kiddo!

Sincerely,

Captain Fantastic Spastic

#from one spazz to another #epilepsy awareness month #november #actually epileptic #living with epilepsy #chronic illness #spoonie life #spoonie #complex partial seizures #simple partial seizures #tonic-clonic seizures #seizure disorder #seizure blogs #long ass post

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worldofsurvivortibet-blog · 7 years

Text

EPISODE 1 (Part 1) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie

JULIA RAE

im gay

TRYSTEN

The Cheshire Cat is back again

ELENA

Ok it is only like 15 minutes into the game so I don't have anything to say but I love you Jay! So I am making a confessional <3

EDDIE

Im y'all putting me on a tribe with Jaiden who I have not talked to for months and who is in general probably the messiest org player you will find on the planet. I'm in vermont right now in at an inn with shitty service so I'm definitely ready to be booted out of this thing pretty quickly. But I'll be sharpening my knife just in case I can somehow make it a swap.

DARIAN

This season I'm going to write actually decent confessionals. At least I hope! This tribe is pretty lit and the people are so nice! I obviously haven't had a lot of time to get to know everyone but I cant wait! I really think this is going to be a great season!

JAIDEN

I'm actually pretty content with the tribe I got placed on, because I only know Eddie. I could probably use that to my advantage but I don't know if he likes me so... good luck to me. I like playing in games where I know very few people but I am definitely a little worried about Keyonjay being on the other tribe because he will probably go out before I ever swap onto the same tribe as him, and that lowkey sucks. I'm also SUPER concerned about Ting Ting because I hear she's a huge threat and she and Seamus are like, dating IRL or something so hmm. Gonna keep that on my radar.

DANI

Five minutes in and I already hate my tribe, there isn't really anyone I can put my trust in, we better not lose the first immunity challenge, I'm not leaving first again...

CHRISSA

um I hope i am okay in this game idk these people too well and I just hope i can stay a while I fucking hate not knowing the cast before but whatever can i just say I love Jay and that is all.

CARSON

Our tribe is really talkative... which is horrible for me bc im not asdfghjkl. Oh well we have a lot of comp beasts on out tribe so we should be good.

ACE

I've never done this in a game before but let me do a little cast assessment. First let's start with my tribe, Namtso! Jared and I have a lil history in games where I always always always get him out somehow someway. Who knows if he'll trust me! I LOVE KENDALL, nuff said. I have no idea who all the others are but I hope I can make friends with them and have them not vote me off n stuff. In Kailash, I already have Carson added but idk them that well. I love Chrissa and I hope we both make merge or swap on a tribe together and be besties. Dani can go! I love Elena I hope we can acc work together earlier this time than I did in Pompeii. I'm not sure about Seb, he literally just evicted me as hoh in another game rofl. Everyone else idk but I hate that I know more ppl on this tribe than my own tribe. I guess I gotta get talking huh? The last tribe with the unreadable buff has Matt and Trysten. Matt's my fellow furry and Trysten is also semi-furry so I hope they can survive. As for Jaiden, FUCK him I hope he gets out before I even have to deal with his ass. And again idk everyone else.

JAIDEN

Two confessionals in one night? Not surprising. I was really excited to have a non-messy tribe but for some reason, I'm put with two fellow normal people and four confirmed freaks. I don't even know who Johnny is yet but he's literally looped in with those weirdos until further notice. Let's do a quick cast assessment of my tribe, which I forgot its name already because ? flops only. EDDIE - Y'all really did this to me, huh? Eddie hasn't spoken to me since BEFORE October because that's the furthest our chat history even goes. It's me sending messages and him not responding and it's literally the most disappointing thing ever because now I have to work with him in order to exterminate the furries and dildo freaks of this tribe. He's a nice guy and I will only allow him to stick around premerge because he is also a huge threat and a bigger backstabber than I am. JAIDEN - flop JOHNNY - He is not here yet but I think he'll be cool to talk to later on I guess, because we're the same age but he seems more "put together" and like he has legitimate goals in his life. But he's also a college student so I don't expect him to be around much, so I just want to work with him until there is no more need for him if he truly is an inactive person. JULIA - Honestly? She's fucking annoying already lmao SORRY IF UR READING THIS but she talks about dildos and getting fucked in the ass by furries and it's just like... calm down. It's day one and she's already said about 500 things and it's 500 things too much. Definitely bottom of the tribe so far lmao. MATT - He IS loud and cocky and I think he's going to try really really hard to be the Tyson-esque villain this season, so he's also my least favorite because he is not going to be genuine or good at this game. He could go. TING TING - She's sweet so far but she's really hard to talk to because her answers are so short and they can end a conversation in a second. I feel like she's the only person I like at the moment and that sucks so much because damn, she's not easy to talk to. I'm hoping that we have to go to tribal council first though and pump some of those strategic juices into the tribe because I feel like she'll open right up if that's the case. TRYSTEN - Okay I immediately want him to be first boot because he's the most annoying but in subtle ways. He's like "SOMEONE ALREADY THINKS IM AN ALT" and like well, maybe because you're so adamant that you aren't??? Like shut up. And he's saying that Dani is his sister or something in his cast intro and literally no one cares, but you're just a freak thats putting a huge target on their back for no reason. Anyways...enjoy being the only person to get 21st place in this series :o FLOP! So yeah, there's my cast assessment for this tribe. Hopefully I can fall into an alliance and not get first boot from this horrific tribe, but it could probably be worse on the other side. Wish me luck, and tell the VL to suck my left nut! xoxo

KEYONJAY

I really like my tribe a lot. I have a really good feeling about Nicholas, that he could be a strong ally down the road. Kendall is hilarious, I'm vibing with her pretty well. I've had a short conversation with Amanda. Ace is a fucking amazing artist, and newlyf is cool even though I don't even know their real first name and they haven't messaged me back lol. I like everybody so far and I'm making a conscious effort to get to know everybody unlike in my other games where I would wait for people to come to me. Maybe it's the power of the meesh avatar, but I really hope my social game is better this time around. Y'all wrong for making this the first challenge tho @hosts.

MATT

So I just wanna make a SHORT rant on how I feel about my tribemates. Eddie: Eddie my fellow Gorlley. You're cool and I hope we do get to work together moving forward here. Jaiden: Bruh, you're funny and you also seem cool af. Let's pray my opinion on you doesn't change Johnny: Why u no active? Julia: I really feel like you might become one of my best friends here. You're really cool to talk to Matt: You sexy monster you. *winks* Ting Ting: Just like Julia, you really might become one of my best friends here. Trysten: Stop lying about being an angel, I can see right into your soul.

KEYONJAY

So I really wasn't gonna do the day one alliance thing, but Kendall proposed we go into an alliance and ofc I'm gonna say yes. haha. I do actually like her a lot so that's good. She pulled in Ace, and I wanted to pull in Nicholas because I feel like me and him gel pretty well. Hopefully people see Kendall as the figurehead because my whole strategy was to fly UTR but things change like that in this game. Basically, I just wanna make friends with everybody so I'm not the target regardless, do well in the challenges, and not overthink things like I usually do.

ACE

I'm talking to Ally in PC and I swear I'm getting Mega vibes from her. I swear if Ally is Mega....

KENDALL

Hello. It's me. I've been wondering after all these years, if you'd like to me. To go over everything.... Yeah that's all I know, I mean sure I could look up the lyrics on Google but I am far too lazy. No wait I also know HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It has been ten billion years since my last confessional/game, which may seem mathematically impossible because I've only played survivor for one year but shut up because this is my confessional... bitch. Any who, I am back with two percent more evil and one percent more effectiveness. No longer will I be a drifter, just sort of hanging back and waiting for anyone to pick me up and drag me along, I will be the leader!!!!!!!! Despite having about zero charisma and even less interpersonal skills. But my mommy says I am special so there. Anyway I have made an alliance with people. Ew gross I know. But it has to be done. I've made a group of people who were speficially selected because of their incompetence in some areas. Ace the Squabit: I've played with Ace in Pompeii, we aligned for a short period of time before Drew voted him out. He is incredibly intelligent but he isn't particularly social. Creating a bond with him shouldn't be too difficult because of this fact. Keyonjay Dixon: Aside from having a bitchin' name, Keyonjay has one of the rare characteristics of getting my sense of humor. He isn't very connected to the community so I don't have to worry about any pregame alliances he may have made. In a previous game, he stated to have "played for someone else," time will tell if he will repeat this mistake. And last but not least we have, Nicholas: I don't know him very well and I don't have as much control over him as I do the others. Which frightens me... but I think we get along just fine. I've recommended Survivor seasons to him because he hasn't seen the show so maybe that will bring a bond of some sort. As for the other tribe members, Amanda seems pretty chill and Newlyf is fucking hilarious. I'd like to avoid getting them out if I can. Jared on the other hand... I don't particularly care. He is so boring and has terrible spelling, two of the worst qualities. He called me a psycho in a PM to Ace, which is mildly amusing because I don't think he knows how far it really goes. He doesn't trust Ace, he doesn't like me, he was barely on for the first half of the game. Jared serves no use to me or anyone in my cult... sorry alliance lol auto correct. Anyway I will update when I get more information but until then... HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

DANI

I really wanna trust these people, but I really cant. I literally have one ally and it's already almost day 2. Well, one ally is better than none I guess. I just really wanna win immunity. I'm not taking the risk of going to tribal council.

EDDIE

Basically Ting Ting is a queen and I'm planning on making her my Sam of this game and I've pretty much let her know that. Although idk if she finds it sketchy that after once hour I said that but I honestly don't have as much time as a thought as I would so I need to leech myself to a strategically gifted iconic queen that will carry me through the beginning stages of the game into the merge. I honestly haven't decided if I'm going to stay loyal to Ting or not. But if I do vote her out it wouldn't be until the final 5 which is about the time that I probably should've cut Sam in bangladesh but I didn't cause I'm an emotionally human being. By that time though I'll probably have become way too close with Ting to cut her and I will probably make the same mistake I did in Bangladesh which is not taking out the clear jury threat and the person who will obviously win the game at the end. But that won't matter to me as long as I get to have fun bathing in the blood from all the other people who's demise I will cause. I'm going to busy these first rounds of the game but once things slow down and I settle into my city life I should be able to really get into it. I don't need other people knowing that though. Right now I'm just gonna play the sort of active, sort of inactive number for who ever is running the tribe (which will probably be ting which is why I decided to leech myself onto her). I believe Jaiden will try to run the tribe but he and I mean... he can think he is. But I will make sure Ting Ting knows all about his ruthless gameplay and the erratic and messy way he plays. She can do all the work rope in the numbers and I'll just be her little yes man. Whatever gets me to the swap tbh. Either way, I want to keep Jaiden on the outs while making him believe he's the leader. If I have it my he will be first boot, but if not I will coddle him and make him feel like I'm close with him right until I put the knife in his back which I'm hoping will he sooner rather than later, especially on a tribe with such small numbers. Idk how well that will work but it's worth a shot. I also have been talking to Roxy a bit and also matt. Im gonna go to them tomorrow on my drive home from vermont and be like "hey guys!!! Im a busy man!!!! Sorry couldn't talk to you last night!!!! And then talk to them all the way on the ride home and build up some type of bond or whatever.... Jaiden not being around tomorrow should make it even worse on him? Either way, I'm going to do a faceplant into Ting Tings ass. I have no shame in kissing someones ass just to get myself further in this game. That's what this is all about amiright? I'm honestly ready to be first boot, but if I'm not this should be fun.

ACE

I should be scared of the Pokemon Camp Community but I'm not really. Its true they are a force and nobody could stand against them if they are all together but I doubt half of them would make merge. Kendall and I are already planning on taking out Jared if we ever lose cuz he said he doesnt trust me and called Kendall a psycho (which is true in a good way~) Dani and Trysten might seem like a threat to others in tribe stage due to Trystan's bio I guess? I dunno. As for Seb idk why yall casted him cuz he's probably most likely 75% chance going to strike out and be removed anyway so nobody should worry about him.

DARIAN

So. It's been a day and someone has already asked to work with me. #Dani. I dont know where this is going to go i know I'm not committing myself to anything this drastic on day one. I guess it's nice to know I have one option! Dani seems really nice! So who knows

DANI

If we don't win this fucking reward challenge I will be PISSED, I busted my ass in that stupid ass unicorn game and pretended to enjoy that shit so other people would do it.

KENDALL

https://youtu.be/v5O6_rA0VFc

MATT

Honestly, I feel like I did good on this first challenge. I still trying to figure out who on my tribe would be the best for me to make an alliance with. In a sense, I am somewhat apprehensive because of Lazio and its endless tribe swaps....eh, time to snoop around.

KENDALL

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE THAT STUPID SONG FROM ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK STUCK IN MY HEAD. ~ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY, OH LOVE~ SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU JAY, SEAMUS, AND CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#wostibet #confessionals

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