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falsebooles123 · 1 year

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Finding the First Gay Kiss - Diary of a Big Ole Gay 12.25.22

Hey Whores Merry Christmas. Do you ever have a social interaction where you feel like you came off rude but that the other person was still kinda in the wrong. I just don't like people making personnal comments that don't need to be made.

(are gifsets you always make me feel better)

anyway I have 6 more days to watch gay movies before the new year and then I have to figure out how I want to meter this shit out.

I'm firmly withing the 1930s luckily so I can enjoy the benifits and lack of focus that sound film presents so thats nice and I'm also about halfway through the project after spending every waking moment for a month and a half watching old silent films.

I still hate my job and I will be doing my absolute mostest to get out of that fucking sandtrap as soon as I can but before I do that sluts and hobags lets talk about the movies I watched.

Viktor und Viktoria (1933) dir. Reinhold Schünzel

so once again I am posting a gif of a newer remake of the film because you whores can't appreciate fine cinema.

So Victor and Victoria for those not in the know is a film about a women who pretends to be a man who is in fact a female impersanator. sheninigans, (that trope were a woman wants to get dick but she can't cause shes in boymode, (fuck um gay hamlet, Sylvia Scarlet, even the clinging vine in like a really weird way), ensue.

the original is actually pretty fun. Its in german and its a musical so its a little hard to get into the music.

(the lure is actually a really great example of a foreign film which songs still work but thats more because the music is translated more poetically and because the visual language of the musical has evolved. )

The Film shows a lot of feelings torwards the female impersanators that are less nuanced in the general culteral miasma of the earlier decades. Viktor OG is ashamed to admit that he is a female impersanator in a way that implies homophobia. Conflict arises when Policeman come into arrest Victoria for cross-dressing. Not for being a man pretending to be a women on stage, but a woman pretending to a man off of it. Mirroring the way that while the Feminine togs of vaudvilled were reveled and applauded, Those transvestic freaks on the street were not.

overall this is a really fun comedy that helops brind some clarity to the tropes that were seeing in this period and I also love *checks notes* Renate Muller crying like a little bitch after seeing her boy crush deliver a dozen roses to his fiance. Good shit.

Un Chant D'amour (1950) dir. Jean Genet

so this is the only film by director Jean Genet and it is very gay. We start off with these more artsy shots of trying to catch a bouquet of flowers and blowing smoke into peoples mouths and end with what can only discribe as unstimulated masturbation and gun worship. Its a very gay and a curious mixture of lets say 2000s Joe Gage and Robert Yang's Tearoom.

(so the game features you handling peoples "guns" in a bathroom but you get the idea its a lot of male cruising and phallic imagedry.)

this does feature THE FIRST GAY KISS, so far but it is like a few other artistic films like Scorpio Rising that were very underground and also sued for obscenity. So fun times. This film is also bordoring on pornographic. its artsy but once again unstimulated sexual acts in a sexualized manner.

Blonde Venus (1932) dir Josef von Sternberg

so this is a curious but I really don't know how this ended up on the list. Marlene Dietrich is bisexual and there are some vaguly queer aspects, (a lesbian coded character, dietrich apparently flirts with a women while wearing a suit in a blink and you miss it moment), but these are very slim and not entirely noticible.

the actually film itself mirrors things like Manslaughter! and Pandora's Box where you have this powerful sexpot of a women who falls on hard times because of IDK the inherant degenarcy of being a sexual liberated woman. This one has some similar elements to Morocco but to a lesser extant and while I definetly liked this movie because theres this type of golden age glamor and atmosphere that just is so intoxicating. It is simply put not that gay.

One of the things that I have to contend with is that some of the resources I have arn't always accurate or through some miscalculation I simply added a film that was listed for weird reasons. For instance we have Judith of Bethulia which is on this list because oh a pet theory by an academic which is honestly not that strong, Twelth Night by Sandor Sara is on the list because of the name. Turns out the hungarian experimental short film while being super cool and aestetic some absolute kino, it doesn't have anything to do with the play its just the random play that occurs within the film but is never actually shown. The actually film is like a meditation on ruralism and the tedium that comes with it or something.

Slyvia Scarlett (1935) dir George Cukor

Fun Fact: One of my Coworkers told me and I quote "Katherine Hepburn is not a lesbian, she had high functioning aspugers"

which is a lot to unpack. First aspergers tends to imply being high functioning. Second, the notion of high/low functioning, as far as I understand, isn't loved by the autism community. Like it has a lot of abliest notions of assigning moral worth to the ability to create profit which is honestly just a prevelant aspect of capitalism torwards various different handycaps and disabilities.

also this is really fucking important having autism or any type of nuerodiversity has absolutely fuck-all with being gay.

Sure I don't have a smoking gun of Kathering Hepburn eating out some scarlet starlet but I'm also not calling Hepburn a Lesbian because shes wearing pants, I'm understanding her as queer coded because she was a woman who was gender-expansive, who did queer shit in her movies, and also theres a lot of memoirs that explicite confirm that information. Sure I can pretend that this was all a smeer campaign by some hollywood exec or I could take the fact that hollywood was kinda gay and she constantly collabed with the likes of dorothy arzner, George Cukor, and Cary Grant who which by the way whores was most likely pretty bisexual.

(this is what pops up when I type in Randolph Scott x Cary Grant)

But lets get into the actually movie. so this starts off with a classic Cross Dressing plot. Katherne Hepburn like oh let me just go full boymode and she sticks to it for a extremly long time. The only time that she stops is when she's literally trying to fuck a man. A man btw who absolutely was planning on fucking her in boymode. This entire movie is literally just a bunch of queers being like, "OMG we couldn't kiss that would be gay" and then winking at the haes code.

(I was trying to find that snl skit where ben alleck plays an ex-gay at a conversion therapy camp and hes doing this thing were his ex-gay boyfriend is trying to kiss him and instead of telling him to stop hes literally just opening his mouth so that there lips don't touch and its honestly kinda an amazing setup. fuck I'm going to have to make a gifset so that It exists.)

What I'm getting at is that not even Cate Blanchett could make a movie this gay and not like pussy just a little.

As You Like It (1936) dir. Paul Czinner

so this got added because I tried to add all of the cross dressing shakespear plays to my list at some point before I decided I had enough and needed to start getting to the watching phrase of this, (that moment was in my memory last week or something), This film is kinda gay but like I said in my review on LB its cause the play is kinda gay.

Rosalind has a female simp in the form of her cousin, whose like constnatly being snooty over the fact she has a boycrush and there is literally a whole scenaria where her boycrush comes up to her in boymode and is like how do I get over her.

and shes like "yeah what if I this twink just pretended to be your girlfriend bro" and hes like hell yeah.

This is "straight guy uses my ass as a a fleshlight" gay this is I'm not gay dude I'm just horny and my girlfriend won't put out gay. What I'm saying is that Laurence Olivier is a DL Cruiser who doesn't want to admit that he kinda likes dudes. which is fine come out when your ready orlando but this shit is gay and also you know who else was probably bisexual WIlliam fucking Shakespear of Avon. the bard of avon more like the bottom of avon am I right ladies.

Ok on to the last thing.

The Magyk Lantern Cycle Dir. Kenneth Anger

I've been trying to watch through all of Kenneth Angers films in order. which is differcult since many of his juvanalia is hidden or unaccesable from me. but I have managed to see so far, Fireworks, Eux D'artifice, Puce Moment, Scorpio Rising, and Inaugeration of the Pleasure Dome the Last two being actually on my list. His films are kinda hard to parse, there intense, mentally, visually, thematically but at the same time watching something like Anger or Deyen or Brakhage or some shit are honestly just super cool and make me feel like a bad bitch. While i'm on this subject shoutout to Le Cinima Club which has a lot of cool stuff like this.

I will update you more next week with gay shit. Once we get to the actually new year I will have to reassess how hard I want to go with this project.

UP NEXT: A LIST OF MOVIES I CANNOT FIND.

#queer cinema #firstgaykiss #viktor und viktoria #blonde venus #Slyvia Scarlet #As You Like It 1936 #homophobia #autism #queer Erasure #transphobia #diary

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moondustaeil · 3 years

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⋅ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : kindergarten teacher + parenthood au ; fluff , slice of life

⋅ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : kindergarten teacher!Q x parent!reader

⋅ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 : 780 words

Four minutes before the clock announces a new hour and the opening of kindergarten, the intercom announces the arrival of today's first kindergartener. It's not the ringtone-resembling noise that brings a smile to Changmin's lips, it is the person anticipating to be let in.

Changmin's feet move aligned with the vertical wood, guiding him towards the intercom. Without hearing or seeing who is in front of the door, he presses his index finger onto the white button to let them in.

"Sorry if we're early, I really need to get to work!"

An infamous quote of which you are the poet, sometimes early transitions to late, and often going to work is replaced by coming back from work. According to plan, Changmin hears the words twice a day: once in the morning and another time five minutes after kindergarten closes its doors.

"It's okay, our buddy is always welcome," Changmin muses cheerfully. He helps the three-year-old out of his bright red coat before standing up to hang the piece of clothing at its appointed spot.

As Changmin walks to the table, he notices the few food-related decorations laying down upon it. Your hands are in your son's small backpack: fishing out a child-sized carton of banana milk and a chocolate-chip cookie. Not the most nutritious breakfast, but not so rare either. "I forgot to pick up things for breakfast," you speak up before Changmin can question it.

"I still need to eat breakfast anyway, I overslept," He admits. The truth eases your tension, maybe because it's something you have in common. Changmin might not be a single parent, yet, he isn't unfamiliar with the life changes that come along with adulthood and parenthood.

He gazes from you towards your son who is eagerly trying to suck the milk out of its package by the straw, clearly hungry. "How about some cereal today? I have the one you like the most!"

Your son eagerly nods at the sound of his favourite cereal, bobbing his head so excitedly that it causes the straw to fall from his lips. "Yes!" He answers, the chocolate-chip cookie rejected before its seen. As Changmin moves towards the kitchen area, you eye his back.

A few minutes later, Changmin appears in the room again, holding a plateau between his hands. Not two, but three bowls are placed on the table. Maybe he hadn't heard how you were whispering brief goodbyes to your son, or perhaps he wanted you to stay to have a bowl of cereal together.

"I figured you didn't eat either, seeing you ran out of things. So eat breakfast here, with us?"

To your own surprise, you nod. "I'd like that since I also forgot lunch," you admit in a quiet voice. Not only did you forget about the three-meals-a-day plan, but also the time as you spend it with Changmin and your son.

With a waiter-like attitude, Changmin serves breakfast. He winks towards your son as he places the bright coloured bowl in front of the boy and smiles at you when he slides the white bowl closer to you.

⋅ ⋅ ⋅

"Sorry that I'm late, I just got back from work!"

A paraphrasis of your infamous quote. Changmin grins as he hears the words fall from your lips: maybe it's the innocent hue in your voice blending with the earnest facial expression that makes it so funny, or was it adorable? "It's fine, we had a lot of fun together, didn't we?"

Two pairs of eyes lower themselves to the three-year-old who is still busy playing with the wooden toys, unaware of the attention he's drawing. "Mhm, very," he answers Changmin's question.

"Looks like we should go, I still need to pass by the store for dinner, then we can head home," you tell your son, though, it's Changmin who picks up on the information. Your words bring him to realise that even after a full day of work, your duty hasn't come to an end yet.

"Would you like to order something and eat together?"

This time, it's no surprise that you accept the invitation by nodding your head. "I would like that," you say whilst a smile appears on your lips. When you confirm with a smile, Changmin mimics the action.

A certain amount of time passes, filled with talks about a wide variety of subjects. Eventually, or finally, the food arrives. Changmin is the one who answers the intercom after sliding across the wooden floor with his socks, and the one who hides a smile when hearing the shared whispers between you and your son.

"I like teacher Changmin the mostest!"

"I like him too, a lot even."

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unluckybreadling · 4 years

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Nae.gami.giri hcs

For M.preg ma.koto and I partially blame @tum-bakery <3 more under cut cuz I ramble and this would take too long for an ask.

- When Ma.koto first announces to them that he’s pregnant the just “0_0″ and have to sit down and just reflect or something. Both are for once shocked into silence, they’re happy of course! but they just take a minute and also realize that their sex life is on pause which is going to be frustrating for sure those two mfs are horny as hell-

-When they tell their friends, A.oi screams and bounces around excited and gets very very giddy... she just so excited. Hi.ro is also happy for them and happily tells them that he predicted this would happen. To.ko is sadden because ya know master has a heir that isn’t being carried by her but is happy for the trio. Kom.aru is ecstatic, her and A.oi bounce around already making plans for the baby. -Hey! I didn’t forget about the ghosts ya know! They’re overjoyed too! Expect for Jun.ko of course she is just disgusted bc ew too much hope in the room. Then class 77 finds out and they’re already whipping shit up for the baby, Kome.ada being the mostest because ‘A NEW GENERATION OF HOPE! HOPE GIVING BIRTH TO NEW HOPE-” he’s having a major fangirl moment.

-Oh! And the Na.egi cult they have a day of celebration for (their) christ will bore a child and it’ll be holy!! -Its doctor time and Bya.kuya and kyo.ko practically faint meanwhile Ma.koto is overflowing with Joy, and looks them and just sighs happily, because guess what bitches??? ITS TWINS!!! (maybe triplets next time) -Now I hc that makoto has two tall ass partners (Kuya being like 6″2-3′ cuz i’m pretty sure he grew and Kyo.ko being 6″1 & like 6″7′ with heels) so you be one of those crazy cult members (or Nag.ito) that try to touch his stomach to feel blessed or something, your ass will get stopped by two cold as ice glares and either one of them lifting your shirt collar. You will not touch the egg or the mini ones, PERIOD. -Anyway that being said the two are furiously protective (they were before he was pregnant but now its like amp up) they basically coddle ma.koto. He needs his weird carving food at 3am? The chef is on it. A foot stool? Its made out of the softest fabric ever. They just spoil the man, ma.koto doesn’t mind. -Because ma.koto is tiny and these babies appear to be big (Bya.kuya: Stop feeding them ice cream if they’re so big. Ma.koto: I can’t!!! they’re always hungry!!!) he out grows clothes rather quickly, so they are always out shopping. Stretchy Maternity clothes are the only thing he survives in. Though bya.kuya would like him in more formal clothes, Kyo.ko doesn’t care he looks handsome either way.

- Ma.koto is often self conscious about his body as the he knows when the twins are out it’ll just be left over fat and stretch marks. ky.oko and bya.kuya are like total babes they don’t need an out of shape partner, he fears they’ll leave him. His partners are like ‘???What makes you think we’ll leave you just because you have some fat or stretch marks??? We still love you.’ and ma.koto just bawls at that statement.

- Bya.kuya and Kyo.ko were often scared to touch Ma.koto’s stomach they fear that like they’ll curse it or something. They don’t really know how to be affection-y, so they try to avoid touching (both talk to the twins for the most part) but it hurts ma.koto when they clearly want to touch it but are hesitant. It isn’t till one day both twins are active and ma.koto has tried calming them down. So he just grabs their hands and like ‘calm them down, now.’ and it works.

- The trio wanted to have small baby shower. But No, its the seven of them plus the WOH, and class 77, so it is LOUD. They got all these gifts from friends, FF members and of course the cult. Its very overwhelming.

-Also Yes Nag.ito had to be kept on a leash and ibuki was not allowed to play her music in fear of the twins health.

-Overall the shower was fun and the trio got more baby stuff, parenting tips and baby accessories than they could ever imagine. and three promptly passout afterwards.

- Oh Ig I should have mentioned this earlier but ma.koto is a workaholic, and being the headmaster of HPA while pregnant is just stressing both Kyo.ko and Bya.kuya out as both aren’t there with him to force get him to take a day off. He finally starts working from home around his mid second trimester. -Something silly but I hc the makoto is curvy (more so than average, girls get jealous lol) from behind he looks normal but then he turns around boom! baby belly. It's a shocker, especially when he gets bigger.

...hgggghg this is long but I enjoyed writing this. If you have headcanons or anything please feel free to hmu! I love hearing Hcs!

#ma.koto #bya.kuya #kyo.ko #mpreg headcanons #mpreg #this is your fault tum #thank you :)#my writing #heacanons #long post #this is just me rambling hope you don't mind #the twins are probably ka.ede and shu.ichi #mayb

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ericadownunderpart2 · 5 years

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Singapore, living the glossy life!

In the immortal words of Boyz II Men, “we have come to the end of the road”. Final post. Sorry it’s a bit late. No, I did not die in Singapore. I made it home safely and then got too lazy to post about it. Apologies. Anyway, Singapore is amazing, Alicia is the best tour guide/host ever and I have so much to tell you...

Day 1: Bright lights and the red lights

After a 6 hour flight from Cairns to Singapore, I was thrilled to be met at the airport by my dear friend Alicia, who I grew up with in Milwaukee (Brew City baby!) and has been one of my best friends ever since. She has been living in Singapore for the past year and a half for work and was the hostess with the mostest on the Singapore leg of my journey. On a side note, the Singapore airport is a dream. Which I can not say for any other airport...in existence anywhere. A dream.

Seriously!?! This is what the airport looks like!?! Amazing.

After a much needed real sleep, in a real apartment, with a real shower, Alicia planned a fabulous day out on the town for us. One of the things that I love about Singapore is the truly international feel to it. It is awesome to be in a place where people of color are the majority. And I mean, all kinds of color. Very “We are the world” in a non- Coca-cola commercial way! We were able to explore Little India, Chinatown and Arab Street on our weekend adventure. It was like taking a world tour without needing to go through customs. Awesome.

In general, Singapore has to be one of the cleanest, safest and most impressive cities I’ve ever seen, with massive skyscrapers, high rise apartments and beautiful tropical parks. It has some of the most iconic buildings in Asia and waterfronts to match. As Alicia calls it, it is truly “Asia 101,″ with the ease of navigation and picturesque city living that makes weak-sauce American travelers feel right at home. But with a distinctly cultural feel, that keeps it interesting. This may come at the cost of what could be seen as a slightly oppressively lawful and regulatory state with clear social castes and displays of extreme wealth, but from an outsiders perspectives, it seems pretty congenial.

Chinatown

Little India, preparing for Dewali celebrations

Alicia and I started our Singaporian adventure with a stroll through a few of the ethnic neighborhoods of the city and high tea at the Flower Garden by the Bay. An amazing garden dome overlooking the famous Bay, Botanical Gardens and the iconic Marina Bay Sands (boat) hotel.

Why don’t we have high tea in America? It is the best thing ever. Fancy tea, an excuse to get dressed up, drink tea, champagne and coffee while eating adorable and delicious tiny snacks. So many little sammies and desserts. This is what it must be like to be rich and/or famous. I am going to try harder to be both in the future.

Flower Dome by the Bay

I am almost certain it is against some sort of cultural or actual law to take picture of Buddhist Monks, but they were so photo-ready, stopping to smell the flowers. I apologize to Buddhists everywhere.

Following our high tea, we strolled through the iconic Marina Bay Sands area , with the classic Singaporean skyline, the park with the incredible “supertree” sculptures and the impressive skyscrapers of the “downtown” district.

On Saturday night, Alicia arranged an awesome tour of the infamous legalized Red Light Districts in Singapore. The Geylang district. This is perplexing to me, because Singapore has A LOT of rules. Rules for all kinds of things that probably don’t even need rules. There are cameras everywhere and security guards and posted signs outlining the numerous things you are not able to do. But prostitution, totally legal...well, within a complex set of rules that is.

But not surprisingly, like most of Singapore, even the Red Light district was, totally glossy. In fact, it was one of the nicest, cleanest “skectchy” neighborhoods I have seen in a city the size of Singapore. I felt entirely safe and in fact, a little disappointed by the severe lack of seediness in the area. I would gladly sit down and have a cup of tea on any of the Red Light district’s corners.

Our tour guide, a lovely lady who calls the Gelong her home and is an advocate for the neighborhood, showed us around and introduced us to the complicated, complex and fascinated issues of the area and policies.

Alicia, me, Angela, Kathe and our amazing Gelong advocate and tour guide (center).

In classic Singapore style, they figured out that the best way to control illegal activity is to legalize and regulate the practice. There are strict regulations for brothels and an intense level of camera and police surveillance to limit the non-legal (i.e. streetwalking) activities. What does that do? Create a totally chill and clean and glossy red light district. Not to say, that the area doesn’t have it’s fair share of drugs and sexual exploitation that are problematic, but it does at the very least, give off an air of controlled chaos. And with the advent of the internet and increased policing, whatever debauchery that was once the scene, has now moved indoors, giving way to a charming and safe feeling street scene. You could probably eat off the streets here and as it turns out, some of the best restaurants in town can be found here. Fascinating.

Speaking of eating off the street. Our fun tour group stopped after the tour for a delicious authentic Chinese dinner...and for a Singaporean delicacy, Durian fruit. Durian fruit is known for its horrendous smell and odd savory and sweet flavor that to me resembles a garlic-y citrus fruit that smells like rotting flesh and is the consistency of lumpy pudding. The ladies were sure I needed to try it. So I put on a pair of protective gloves, held my nose and dived in. It tastes better than it smells, but that isn’t saying all that much. It’s not terrible, but I don’t think I would spend the $100+ price tag per Durian to eat it for funsies again. But it was ...an experience. Across Asia, although considered a prized delicacy for many, it has actually been banned from carrying on public transportation in Singapore, Thailand and Hong King due to the offensive smell. Of our group of die hard Singaporeans and longtime ex-pats, everyone was excited to have a bite, but no one wanted to have it in their refrigerator. Enough said.

Durian...it smells like it looks...disgusting.

We concluded our evening with a stroll through Alicia’s neighborhood all-night food market, called the Hawkers Center, which we hit up another day, when not full on rancid forbidden fruit.

Day 2: Rain...bringer of mud and magic

The next day brought the monsoons, or as they refer to them in Singapore, light rain. :) We headed inside to check out the National Museum of Singapore, which houses amazing art by Singaporean and other neighboring Asian country artists. Absolutely amazing. It is housed in some of the former judicial and state buildings on the island. It was extremely well done and an interesting glimpse into the marriage of formal, western art forms with the history and traditionas of Singapore melded in. Absolutely stunning.

With a break in the weather we took a break on the rooftop bar to have a “Singapore Sling” overlooking the amazing Marina Bay Sands hotel and the Durian inspired performing arts center. Everything in Singapore continues to be absolutely clean, picturesque and stunning to behold. Even if you are not into the glossy, modern skyscraper skyline, you can’t help but be overtaken by the awe-inspiring views and intentionality of the perfect skyline. (think real life Sim City!...yep, hitting you with that 90s nerd reference)

We then decided to hit up the beautiful (and free!) UNESCO world heritage site of the Singapore Botanic Gardens. It is a huge botanic park filled with amazing trees and flowers, animals, walking paths and lakes.

Alicia and I, in search of otters and turtles ventured to check out the Eco-lake on the grounds. Due to some recent drought, the water levels were low, which meant that Alicia and I were going to take advantage of this to get up close and personal with the local turtles hanging out in the mud flats. We bounded over the mud on a crash course to say hey to the turtles, when to our dismay realized that the mud was in fact, quicksand, and we immediately sinking into it, fearing our imminent doom. Ok, quicksand might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I did see my life flash before my eyes and by the time we pulled ourselves out of the mud, one of Alicia’s flipflops had become an unwanted victim to the mud.

This became the next phase of our adventure. You will not be surprised that we raised a few eyebrows, tramping through the beautiful park, completely covered in mud and with Alicia barefoot. As I mentioned, Singapore has a lot of rules and I am sure we were in violation of at least 5-10 of them. We managed to find a miracle bathroom that had some sort of foot washing/hose situation that we could clean up in. Again, not exactly the intended use, I’m sure and a bit eyebrow raising (again) for the locals, but a god-send. We did manage to locate a giftshop with a quite extensive flipflop selection (leading me to believe we were not the first victims of the “quicksand lake of flipflop death.”) We located new footwear for Alicia and headed on our dirty and merry way.

We ended our day the way we had started the previous one, checking out the neighborhoods that give Singapore such an enticing appeal. We headed to Haji Lane, which is part of the Arab district of the city for some delicious Lebanese food. Haji Lane really feels like a magical place, with colorful shops and restaurants lining the back alleys and live music and delicious smells and lively sounds. This was one of the highlights of the trip. A great place for two old friends to catch up.

Haji Lane (Arab Street neighborhood)

All in all, a magical trip to Singapore to end a magical trip. After almost 3 weeks on the road, I was both incredibly sad to leave and happy to sleep in my own bed. After getting stranded for a few hours in Seoul on the long trip taking me from Singapore to Seoul, Korea, to Las Vegas to home, I was so happy after 32 hours in transit to be back on Minneostan soil. Thanks to all of you for coming along with me on my journey and to all of you that showed me kindness and hospitality along the way.

(PS Full disclosure, basically of the photos that look half way decent from this post were Alicia’s. Thanks for investing in a phone/camera from this decade!)

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leigh-kelly · 5 years

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If the Fates Allow: Part 12/13

Thirteen part Christmas fic loosely based on Life As We Know It. After Santana and Brittany’s best friends die, leaving their two kids behind, the ex-girlfriends are forced to move in together and raise their godchildren.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

November:

It took a week for Santana to find a place to live, but she kept her word and moved out, taking Daisy with her. It was really hard to explain to Ava that they were going to be moving the kids around between two places, but Santana really believed that it was for the best. Feelings had gotten too entangled with Brittany and the longer they lived together, the more complicated things were going to get. The house she found was only a short term rental, but it would give her enough time to find something else, a more permanent place where the kids could settle in during the half time that she had them. Something with a yard maybe, a pool, as if things in her house could fill the emptiness she felt in her chest every time she thought about the fact that she didn’t live with Brittany anymore.

The day she moved out, it hurt. It felt like her and Brittany were breaking up again, but this time, there were kids involved. She promised Ava that she’d pick her and JJ up the next day, that they’d love the new house, that they would still do things together, but all of it felt hollow. The way Brittany looked at her just made her feel awful, but deep down, she felt like she was doing the right thing, she felt like it was the only way to keep everyone from getting hurt. The fight they’d had the morning after she’d spent the night at Wendy’s had just dredged up too much for her, just made her feel completely awful and out of control and had reminded her of all the reasons why she couldn’t even try to make it work with Brittany.

For the kids’ sake, Santana and Brittany agreed to take the kids to the mall to see Santa together the morning after Thanksgiving. Brittany had had them for the morning the day before and then Santana had them in the evening and overnight, so she let Ava get dressed in her red and white dress and put JJ in khakis and a bow tie and then she drove over to the house to pick up Brittany. They didn’t say anything to each other in the car, they both just responded to Ava when she talked to them. It felt like the first birthday party that they were at after they’d broken up, where they had no choice but to share the same space, but neither of them really wanted it.

“Aunt Santana, am I sleeping in the little house tonight?” Ava asked from the backseat. “Or at my house?”

“You’re going to sleep at your house tonight. After we see Santa, I’m going to drop you off with Aunt Brittany.”

“Can you have a sleepover there with me?”

“I wish I could, kiddo, but I have to go back to my house.”

“I don’t like it.” She pouted. “I don’t like it at all.”

“I know you don’t, but it’s just how it has to be.”

“I don’t think that’s fair. You didn’t ask me if I wanted you to go live in the dumb little house and now Aunt Brittany is grumpy and you live far away and I can’t come in your bed every morning.”

“Why don’t you go into Aunt Brittany’s bed when you’re there?”

“Because I always go into your bed. That’s the rules.”

“Ava.” Santana sighed and Brittany was silent.

“This is worse than when you were shrinky and Aunt Brittany made faces. At least then you still both read me bedtime stories and had breakfast with me.”

“I know, kiddo. It sucks for me too.”

“Then come back! Do you not like me?”

“Honey, of course I love you. But remember how we talked about how Aunt Brittany and I aren’t girlfriends? Sometimes it’s hard for grownups to live with someone who isn’t their girlfriend.”

“I think that’s dumb. Is Wendy going to move into your house with you?”

“No, Wendy isn’t going to move into my house. I promise this has nothing to do with Wendy and it has nothing to do with you.”

They got to the mall and the line for Santa was impossibly long. JJ was crying halfway through and Ava was so antsy that she couldn’t stand still. It seemed like every kid was freaking out, but since they had committed to this, Santana figured they had to see it through. She pulled snacks for the kids out of her bag and Brittany took out a coloring book for Ava. At least when it came to the kids, they were on the same page and Santana was grateful for that. She wondered if this was what divorced parents felt like, if coming together for the kids was at least some kind of common bond that kept them from killing each other. She looked down at Ava who colored contentedly on the floor under her feet and she took a sharp breath.

“This sucks.”

“It’s the day after Thanksgiving, everyone is suddenly in the Christmas spirit.” Brittany shrugged. “What did you expect?”

“I didn’t exactly expect a crying kid on line to see Santa. I just want this to be a good experience for them.”

“JJ’s fine now.”

“Yeah, I know, but still. Anyway, how have you been?”

“Fine.”

“That’s it?”

“Honestly, Santana, I think we should just keep our conversation to the kids.”

“Is that how it’s going to be?”

“I thought that was how you wanted it.”

“Brittany—”

Before Santana could say anything else, Brittany turned away from her. Was that what she wanted? Santana just couldn’t decide. She guessed that if she was going to wish for anything, she’d wish she could go back in time three years. She would have actually talked to Brittany after the accusations came. She would have told her how hurt she was. She would have tried to fix things. She would have told Cass and John never to get in the car they day they did. She would have just fixed everything so she could have been happily living with Brittany in their apartment, visiting John and Cass and the kids, probably having a kid of their own. But wishes weren’t real, she knew that more than anyone and there was just no point in wishing for anything that couldn’t come true.

Another hour passed and Santana had gotten to the point where she was sure they couldn’t possibly wait any longer. Brittany had already taken JJ into the bathroom to change his diaper, Ava was whining and the sound of kids screaming made Santana want to tear her hair out. She had no idea why she thought this was going to be fun, why she’d been the one to even suggest doing it in the first place, but she decided then and there that next year, they were going to pull the kids out of school and take them on a day where no one else was around. But then, they were next and all of Ava’s whining stopped when she finally got a view of Santa Claus.

“Am I on Santa’s nice list this year?” Ava asked, hopping between feet.

“I definitely think you are, sweetheart.” Brittany smiled at her and adjusted one of her braids. “You’ve been a really good girl.”

“Last year, he didn’t bring me what I wanted to for Christmas.” She reminded Santana, who sighed sadly. Santana felt a pang in her chest but she breathed through it, not letting Ava see her sadness.

“Let’s hope this year you’re wishing for something that’s possible for Santa to give. Do you still want that American Girl doll?”

“That’s not what I want the mostest.”

“What do you—?” Santana was cut off by the woman dressed as an elf telling them that it was their turn and Ava squealed with delight.

“Santa! Santa!” She cried, rushing into his arms while JJ eyed the bearded man warily before Brittany handed him over.

“What did she want last year?” Brittany murmured and Santana knew that she was thinking that they must have disappointed her on her first Christmas with them.

“Same thing we all wished for, for Cass and John to come back. I just don’t want her to be disappointed for the second year in a row.”

“If we could have given her that, we would have.”

“I know.” Santana shook her head.

She watched as Ava climbed up on Santana’s lap and she smiled. If nothing else had happened throughout the year, at least Ava was much happier. She and Brittany might have had their issues but she thought that they’d probably been exactly the kind of influence that John and Cass had wanted for their kids. They made Ava smile. They made JJ feel safe and loved. Christmas was going to be difficult for Santana because she wasn’t going to spend Christmas Eve in the house with the kids, but it was a consolation knowing that it would be good for the kids.

“I’m Ava.” Ava announced to Santa, pointing to herself. “I’m six.”

“And who’s this little guy?”

“That’s my brother JJ. And that’s my Aunt Brittany and that’s my Aunt Santana. They live in different houses now even though they used to live together in my house. My Mommy and Daddy are dead.”

“Looks like you’re still pretty lucky to have so many people who love you.” Santa chuckled awkwardly and Santana wondered what he could ever possibly say to some kind of confession like that. “And what is it you want me to bring you for Christmas this year.”

“Sometimes you’re not very good at bringing me what I want.” She told him authoritatively, furrowing her brow at him. “So I don’t know if you’re going to bring me my bestest present this year.”

“Well I sure can try. Give it a shot.”

“I want Aunt Santana to not live in the little house anymore. I want her to come back home and sleep in her regular room so I can get in her bed every day and not just when I sleep in the little house.”

“You know Ava, that’s not something I can make in my toy shop.” Santa looked between the two adults.

“You said that last year too, when I wanted you to bring my Mommy and Daddy back to me. Everyone says Santa is magic but I don’t think you’re very good at Christmas.”

Santana felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her. How could she, in any sort of good conscience, allow Ava to be sad on Christmas for a second year in a row? But she’d made her decision. Living with Brittany wasn’t good for her, especially when they still had so much unresolved between them. She took a deep breath, trying to get air into her lungs, and she cast a sideways glance and Brittany who just looked sad. They were seeing Santa, it was supposed to be a happy day, so she tried her best to paint on a smile. Ava looked pointedly at her and she cracked her back, trying not to let her see in her eyes that she was going to have to let her be disappointed again.

After the pictures were taken of the kids with Santa, they left the mall and Santana listened as Ava was quiet in the backseat. Brittany, unsurprisingly, hadn’t said anything since Ava’s revelation and when they got back to the house, she got out of the car with just a quick goodbye. Santana went around back and got JJ out, before helping Ava get unbuckled and Ava looked her straight in the eye.

“Aunt Santana, why can Santa never give me what I want?”

“I think…kiddo, that Santa is much better at giving things than people.”

“I don’t think that Santa is very good at being Santa.”

“He tries really hard, Aves. But like I told you last year, his magic can only go so far.”

#brittana #if the fates allow #itfa

59 notes · View notes

ac-ars · 7 years

Text

Focus on me

im posting this one, because second mom of this au is having birthday today and i hope she likes the idea, i really really hope

@sky-girls, all the best for you, because you don’t deserve anything less than the best, i love you very very much barbara, the most mostest 💖

Focus on me

Luna sighs, sitting on her usual chair in this class, doodling in her notebook and wondering who she’s gonna have physics with. She got a mail last night, from her usual physics professor saying that they are starting new semester with ta he picked himself and Luna has been lowkey anxious, because the prof likes her and he is chill, while the new guy can be a psycho, or hate her, or hate everyone.

Brunette bites on her lower lip, tracing today’s date in her notebook with pen for third or fourth time when the door opens. She doesn’t really look up, focused on finishing the month numbers and when she’s done, she writes the date once again under the first one. Valente can see the guy with corner of her eye, but it’s not like she cares much so she gives up on listening to him. All she needs is to pass and listening to some weird snobby physics student after graduation isn’t required to get her grade.

His voice is somewhere in the background and it’s nice voice; Luna likes the sound of it itself, not trying to recognize words. She is by maybe fourteenth date of today when Pedro sitting next to her, pokes her on the ribs and makes her jump.

She immediately looks around, focusing on her friend who just points with his chin towards the desk. Guy leaning back against it watches her with crossed arms and small smirk. His eyebrows are raised slightly and he looks almost amused.

“What’s her name?” he asks someone from first row and when he gets an answer he licks his lips. Brunette is speechless, thinking that she’s fucked; it hasn’t been even ten minutes of the class and the guy remembers her and knows her name, and this isn’t any good in her case.

“Luna,” her ta says, having probably very much fun, judging by the way her name rolled off his tongue. “Did you hear what I said?”

She bites on her lower lip a little too hard when he is waiting for her to say anything. The only thing Luna can do now is shake her head, making her hair bounce around her face, and shrug. “Not really.”

“And why is that?”

“I wasn’t listening,” brunette admits softly, her eyes going straight to him and he smiles widely looking away, shaking his head and she is completely lost.

“Well-” he checks the watch on his wrist. “We don’t have enough time to investigate what was so boring, but for next time I’d recommend listening to me.” He winks at her lazily and turns towards the group, putting his hands into the pockets of his black pants. Luna focuses on his person enough, so she can’t hear anything he says, but she manages to eye up all of his body and she can swear that she sees herself failing this semester. That’s like one hundred percent sure if he will be wearing white shirt like this, and even if he wouldn’t he still has this face; she isn’t able to focus on watching and listening to him at the same time.

“Anyway, you can just call me Matteo, unless the professor comes over, because he would probably kick me out of here.” He chuckles softly, bless the fact Luna catches those words; at least now she knows how to call him in her head.

It would be great actually, but Matteo turns to her with the most smug smirk she has ever seen. “Do you understand, Luna?”

He is hot, yes, yet she hates him already.

Luna runs towards the class quickly. She is late, and fucked and even more late, cursing on the building and her bus and the fact she overslept. This is completely normal for her, but today is Tuesday and it means eight am physics with Balsano, and he is gonna just look at her amused, telling her to sit down and listen. He always tells her to listen, remembering perfectly how she ignored him first day and Luna is still wondering if it’s because he is just mean, or maybe his snobby ego got hurt. Not that she cares, but it’s tiring and annoying and honestly the biggest advantage of the fact he is teaching her is the fact that she can stare at him without being judged. It doesn’t matter if he is walking around the class, if he’s just half sitting on his desk or writing something on the board, there’s always something to look at and Luna Valente isn’t the one to deny herself the only pleasure of those classes.

But damn, she gets most of the shit he tries to teach them and it’s unbelievable. She isn’t sure how, and why, but he actually seems to care about them passing this class and he doesn’t even make it easier, so despite him being an asshole it’s really nice that the prof picked just him.

She takes deep breath before taking the door handle and pressing it softly, hoping that no one notices her entering the class (it happened once during some chem class or something, okay?), yet no, of course she almost bumps into Matteo who was apparently standing by the door. Knowing this asshole he was waiting for her, completely sure that she will be late, but won’t skip, and Luna can’t even open her mouth with excuse when he cuts her off pressing his index finger to his lips and shushing her. Honestly it doesn’t help, because brunette already had no idea what to say and now she is just focused on his mouth, noticing the fact that everyone is busy with their exercises.

Matteo points with his chin at the desk and walks quietly without even prompting her to follow him, but she knows she should. He gives her a paper and starts explaining quietly something about one or two exercises, Luna isn’t really able to focus, so she just watches his lips moving with some words and when tone of his voice changes to asking, she nods or hums with agreement and he seems content with this. Giving her the paper, his fingers brush hers and brunette discovers that they are very cold yet in the way that doesn’t disturb her.

After that she turns around and walks towards her usual seat and ends up copying all exercises from Pedro, because she has no brain for physics today.

The only physics that she is interested in is Matteo Balsano.

She is waiting for him with the rest of the group in front of the class, watching the clock on her phone, because like he said - if I’m not here for 15 minutes and there’s no mail from me, you can go home or whatever - and even if she likes the classes, no classes is always better and Luna doesn’t feel any bad about it. Girls around her are gossiping around her until one of them throws Matteo in the conversation, taking brunette’s attention. Her head softly moves up as one of them complaining about him teaching them, because if he weren’t, she would’ve already be hitting on him. Luna giggles at this with the rest, who decides to share their favorite parts of Balsano’s body making her laugh a little.

“And you, Luna?” One asks nudging her slightly. “What do you like the most in our hot ta?”

Valente rolls her eyes shaking her head. “I don’t have any favorite.”

Ooooohs sound around her and she’s annoyed already, but neither of them cares. “Is it because you don’t have hots for him at all, or it’s because you like all of him just as much?”

Luna covers her face with her hands. “You all are ridiculous. Leave me alone.”

They want to say something else, but Matteo saves her and for once she is super grateful for his presence. He mumbles some sorry, I got stopped for longer that I wished I were and lets them all get into the room.

Few minutes later Luna is on her chair, her notebook open in front of her as today’s date is in the corner of the page (this time written only once) and actually the class is completely normal. Matteo is walking around while playing with a pen he found on his desk, talking about one of fancier physics thing in casual, easy language, just as if he was talking about the weather.

Luna bites on her pencil slightly, trying to focus on his words and not on his lips when the phone between her knees buzzes. She sighs trying to find a way to be sneaky, but Matteo will probably notice her looking down so she doesn’t try more. Brunette guesses it’s a text message from group chat, wondering if it’s again some meme or one is asking about any test. Apparently it’s Jazmín texting only her, on private, and if it’s on private it must be something important.

he is staring @ you 👀👀👀

Luna sighs rising her head and looking around, but she sees none of the guys watching her. She gives up taking deep breath and asks.

who

Her eyes move to Jazmín who is grinning excitedly and Luna would find it adorable, if it weren’t for the answer she receives.

Matteo, you silly

She hides her phone quickly between her knees almost under her skirt not sure what the hell just happened. She still can see the letters on the screen in her mind and if it’s not done joke made by Jazmín, it must be some overanalyzing the guy just watching around.

Luna slowly takes her head up, resting her back against the chair and completely lost in her notes, but she needs to check, so she glances at Balsano who handles her look with small smirk and turns away as casual as always.

Her phone vibrates once again and she doesn’t want to know what’s that about, but there’s this small part craving to check the message. Brunette gives up eventually and reaches for the phone. Jazmín.

that’s a bad idea to keep your phone there unless you want him to stare @ your legs which he is doing rn btw

Luna chokes on the air, trying to breathe somehow, but it’s hard as fuck when she has no idea how to sit properly. She throws her phone to her bag and pretends the messages from Jazmín never existed. That’s the best.

She doesn’t touch her phone until she’s home just to see nothing new from her redhead friend, but there’s something on muted chat of her group.

✨✨Jazmín✨✨ guys do you like Luna’s skirt from today? because maTTEO TOtaLLY DOes

That’s it for Luna and her having chill, because she gives up on reading all the answers. And there is a shit ton of them.

She wants to give up today; she hadn’t slept almost at all tonight, trying to study, but it all went to hell since she was just half awake. In Luna’s head there’s already her warm bed existing, no pants, fuzzy socks and fluffy blanket. That’s all she needs in this very moment, it’s almost end of physics for today and it would be beautiful finish if not those assholes sending her to Matteo to ask about their last quiz.

She was always talking to the professor for all of her group before Matteo, and when the latter heard who was handling all group’s business, he got incredibly happy that he has another chance to piss her off. He will probably do the same today, yet she is already prepared and her brain is already ignoring most of things he’s saying today.

They all leave quickly, bless them, giving her chance to ask faster. She approaches the desk he is currently sitting by and smiles awkwardly, hoping that he will notice that she’s here. It’s not even second or third time she comes to him, but he lowkey intimidates her, no matter how annoying and mean to her he is with this smirk and hot body.

Luna is completely aware of the fact that he is the teacher there and despite all times she cursed at him inside her head, she has to be nice. It’s not really that difficult, because he spreads around this feeling of being a little above the rest, he is too confident, too sure, to deny him that, and Luna isn’t one to even try; he would make her tiny with two words before even she’d manage to finish her sentence.

Everyone leaves and someone even closes the door behind and Matteo ultimately notices that she’s standing there, waiting.

“Luna,” he grins, as always when he is saying her name. It seems like the L of Luna is really pleasant thing for him to say with the way he always slides it off his tongue. He straightens himself by the desk, lacing his fingers. “How can I help you?”

She pouts softly, looking for the words. “I wanted to ask about last week’s quiz.” Only leave her mouth and maybe it’s her, but he looks almost disappointed.

“Ah, the quiz.” Matteo quickly moves himself, getting up from his chair, crouching by the desk and taking out off the shelf few piles of papers.

Luna feels like whining, but it wouldn’t be right thing to do next to Balsano who can fuck her up at the end of semester, so she keeps her mouth shut.

“I actually have it graded and all, but I don’t really know where are the papers here. I planned to sort this mess before our class, yet one student asked me how was her final grade.” He shakes his head, a little amused. “It’s barely half of the semester and poor girl is already worried.” Or wants to jump you, Luna thinks without changing her face.

“It sounds a little dramatic,” she dares to say and he laughs, getting up and looking at the papers with heavy breath. “Dramatic indeed, I just told her that I had no idea about her final grade and she looked at me completely offended.”

Luna giggles softly, her eyes never leaving him. His moves seem natural, yet a little nervous and it makes her wonder why he’s like this. Brunette has learned his movements while staring at him class after class and now the easiness is a little gone; he is thinking what he is doing, how he is moving, how his voice sounds and Luna likes neither of them. She can just pout a little wondering what happened and throw small joke.

“Well, I can only hope I am not dramatic.” Her tone is light and sounds just like she wanted to, receiving some sparkles of amusement in his eyes. “You’re not. You seem more judgy right now.” Matteo throws randomly while flipping through papers and searching for her group.

“I’m not judgy.” Brunette crosses her arms.

“You are watching me so carefully, I’m not sure how to act.” Chuckle leaves his lips and Luna shakes her head.

“I’m not-” she starts, but he interrupts.

“Good, then help me with the other pile and you will be able go home and nap. I doubt you got anything from today’s class. You should sleep more next time.”

Luna looks at him surprised, not sure if she’s offended by his demanding tone or if she’s surprised that he noticed her falling asleep. Probably both.

At the end of the day, though, this demanding tone is pretty hot

(In the evening she finds all info from today’s class in one email from him)

Her thoughts are going wild.

Luna isn’t sure what causes this, probably hormones, but suddenly everything Matteo Balsano does is thrice as hot as before.

The way he walks around the class, passing her always with small glance. The way he crosses his arms, makes her want to slide her hands up and down his shoulders and check how his skin feels. The way he smiles when someone asks silly question; he always looks down, grinning widely and after few seconds answers, keeping it all cool. The way he leans against the desk, half sitting on it makes her wonder how it would be to be pressed to it by him.

This all is driving her crazy, causing her losing her mind and making her close her legs together tight as soon as he enters the class. Her breathing automatically speeds up while this damn warmth spreads around her entire body. She’s seen him not shaved, or wearing glasses, rolling up sleeves of his white shirt or ditching the tie. All of them are hot as fuck and if it weren’t for the rest of cool she has, she would’ve already been screwed in her group, because girls decided to make ranking of hot, hotter, the hottest versions of Matteo and when they keep asking her she just shakes her head.

But the truth is that it’s impossible for Luna to go to physics class and remain focused on the subject. This is completely unfair, that they let guy looking like this teach students; teach girls like her, and expect that she will pass with good grades.

Today his shirt isn’t white, it’s light blue and Luna wonders how it’s possible for a color to fit someone so well. She doesn’t even try to cover her staring with care about her grade; but at this point no one cares, they left her alone with her sinful ideas and thoughts, busy with their business while all she needs to do is to blush as little as possible when he winks at her.

She fails.

“Luna, could you please stay few minutes? I have this thing to tell you guys about the grades and there’s the test.” Matteo asks softly, before dismissing the rest when he’s done with the topic for today.

She nods, not sure if she heard correctly, but at this point she would agree for everything.

Pedro nudges her with small smirk and she sticks her tongue out at him, pretending that she’s all great, her mind is clear, and that she doesn’t imagine her hot ta naked in her head.

Brunette takes her time gathering her things from the desk, not hurrying at all. Then she stands up, walking towards him while he is super focused on his laptop.

She wants to be the laptop suddenly.

He makes her sit next to him on another chair and begins to talk about the grades. He says something about how he would like them to start studying for next week already, because despite the fact he has everyone passing, some are really close to lose it if they screw up next test. Luna only keeps nodding and smiling a little, she knows who to tell to get their shit together, and who can lowkey chill (no one).

Matteo sighs opening another excel and brunette moves closer to him, not sure what now, but those are still grades and she’s already lost, not knowing how the fuck he has it all organized. She focuses on his scent, on the way his hair softly curl and how one of his arm is on back of her chair. Luna tries, completely casually, to lean back towards his arm and when she does so, his fingers go to her hair. He starts slowly messing with few curls using his fingers and it’s distracting enough for her not to be able to focus on the grades he is pointing at.

She actually misses the moment he shuts up, looking at her amused and waiting for her to say anything, but Luna wakes up too late for it to be normal.

Matteo sighs softly. “I’m going to mail you this, okay? Just make sure they study.”

Brunette nods, receiving nod back from him and it hints her that she should get up and leave. Not that she wants it, though she has to and she is eighty percent sure she makes it casually.

Yet as soon as she reaches for the handle of the door, Matteo clears his throat. Luna turns to him and he looks almost sheepishly.

“Not that it’s my last one, but you took my pen, Luna.” She looks what she’s holding with her fingers and snorts at herself, before turning to him and walking slowly towards his desk.

He smiles at her when she places the pen next to his laptop awkwardly, because he is watching all of her movements, she smiles back and is about to turn away when he catches her hand and pulls to his chest.

Luna almost chokes, her bag falls to the ground with loud thump while his eyes, too dark to be his usual small brown, are set on hers full of something she can’t quite catch. Her heart is beating definitely too fast to manage this for a long time when one of his arms is keeping her tight to him.

“I hope you won’t sue me for that,” he murmurs in low voice, as if to himself, not to her and before Luna can blink his lips are on hers, hungry and desperate.

She can only kiss him back, letting him take it all when he reaches for it.

She sits down in her desk, trying to cover this hickey on her thigh with her skirt and sighs wondering what this asshole prepared for today. She never knows; he never tells her and she never asks and it works for both of them. Now he is set on making sure everyone has a chance to fix their grades and Luna is mostly done, because there’s so much of this shit, she can’t feel any grateful.

He walks in with his usual easiness, almost like he’s aware of the fact that he’s hotter than all of them combined and without any hesitation takes the papers out of his bag. Brunette growls slightly, hating the exercises and looks at Pedro who nods, and she knows he will let her copy today. Bless Pedro.

Matteo starts with first row, giving the papers around and his smirk is almost suspicious. When he passes Luna his fingers brush skin of her arm slowly, making her shiver and she needs to breathe before she notices what happened. There’s apparently no way she can copy from Pedro, because this ass made different questions and honestly she is gonna hit him with one of his heavy astronomy books this evening.

As soon as Matteo is back to his desk, he takes his phone and Luna isn’t even interested in what he’s doing there now. He screwed her copying plans and he can burn in hell, no matter how hot he looks without his shirt on. Or any clothes in general.

Her phone buzzes and Valente can only hope it’s not Jazmín. She growls again, moving her eyes to him by the desk, and he looks incredibly smug.

Solve your exercises, little lady

Luna snorts at him and shakes her head.

asshole

She just types and locks her phone. Matteo seems to have all fun of the world; he chuckles under his breath.

That’s not what you were saying last night

When she’s not answering for few minutes, almost boiling inside he types next message and she just wants him to leave her alone for this class.

Come on, those are easy, and you can always copy from the guy next to you

Brunette shakes her head at him.

you put different exercises so how am i supposed to do it 🙃🙃🙃

Matteo bites on his lower lip, but it doesn’t hide the big grin he has on his face. Smug little shit. Luna snorts and writes her name in the corner of the page, hoping that she can get some points for correct last name and date.

There’s another notification from her phone, and amused face of Matteo makes her even more curious.

Are you sure they are different?

She frowns scrunching her nose, completely confused before she takes Pedro’s paper from his hands without asking. He lets out surprised sound and rolls his eyes at her as Luna discovers that exercises are the same, they are just messed in different order and she glares at Matteo annoyed. She wants to text him, but there’s already message waiting for her.

Stop pouting I’m gonna make you dinner tonight Ps you look pretty today

Brunette almost giggles at this. Matteo is hopeless and that’s all she can think about before startled Pedro pokes her on the ribs.

“Who are you texting?” he asks with frown, probably wanting her to chill her ass for him to focus on exercise two.

Luna bites her lower lip before throwing a glance at Matteo. “No one.”

#soy luna #lutteo #luna valente #matteo balsano #my writing #barbara #ta au #i am super excited help

39 notes · View notes

love-2-write · 7 years

Text

Take me back to when you were here, when you hurt my heart but I knew where you were. (Emily and Alison)(Alison and everyone)

"Alison!" Emily screamed as she watched her blonde haired friend turn the corner and disappear into the night. Her breathing was heavy and her heart was breaking as she chased after the girl she once called her friend, tears began to fill her dim eyes as she turned the corner and saw...nothing. Alison was gone, not a trace of her insight. All that was left of her was the lasting scent of her perfume, it smelled of strawberries and lemonade and summer time with Alison giggling and running through the park. Emily couldn't breath as she let her legs got weak and crumbled beneath her, falling to the pavement she could feel her legs scratch against it and the blood draining down her skin, but this thought wasn't one Emily cared about, all she could feel was her heart ripping from her chest at the thought of Alison being gone...forever.

Days past and nobody heard from the beautiful blonde, nobody saw her prize winning smile or golden locks, nobody heard her laugh that was so stunning that it would stay in your head hours after she let it slip from her soft pink lips. Nobody, not one soul saw Alison after that night...and nobody would ever see her again.

It had been a week since Alison had gone missing, and Emily couldn't seem to forget that night, when she told Alison she hated her, when she pushed her away and said she didn't want to be her friend. Emily felt awful, like maybe if she hadn't said that, maybe if she had let Alison kiss her and maybe if she held that girl with all her might...she would still be here. However nothing could bring her back, and nothing could change what Emily said or did that night after the end of summer party.

______________________The party.

"Hanna, pick your jaw up off the floor and stop staring at Sean" Alison rolled her big ocean eyes as she pushed Hanna's arm.

"Oh sorry Alison" Hanna tucked her tail between her legs "He's just so dreamy"

"So talk to him, but first go to the bathroom and do that thing I taught you, cause boys like him don't like parade floats as girlfriends."

"What does that mean?" Spencer questioned Alison

"Nothing Spencey, don't worry. I'm only looking out for Hanna's best interests" Alison smiled that smile everyone knew, it meant she was being sneaky and lying and causing trouble, but nobody was going to ruin the night by stopping her. Hanna made her way to find the bathroom, as the rest of the girls made their way to the dance floor.

_________________________Present day.

"Em" Hanna slowly walked into the room, "Can I crash here?"

"Umm, sure" Emily shook her head as she realized were she was and what was happening.

"I'm so bummed out, Sean's dating that bitch Jenna" Hanna face planted into Emily's bed and then turned over to speak again "I guess Ali was right..why would a guy like him ever want hefty Hanna."

"Hey!" Emily yelled at Hanna "You are beautiful, and smart, and the sweetest girl I know...every guy in this stupid place would be lucky to get you Han. Ali wasn't right, she was just trying to hurt you, you can't let her win."

Hanna smiled, "Thanks Em, I love you"

"I love you too Hanna banana" Emily giggled as she pulled her friend close.

______________The party.

"Oh my god!!" Aria squealed, "Don't do that!"

"Oh come on" Noel laughed "It's fun Aria, what's the harm in a little joke?"

"He bugging you?" Alison asked as she made her way to Aria

"Only a little" Aria laughed slightly

"Have a little fun with me Ari....take my hand and I'll show you the world on my magic carpet."

"Oh and what's that stand for?" Alison huffed "Your bed were you take all of Rosewoods finest ladies for a trip around the world? or should a say a trip in-between your legs?"

"Got me again Alison" Noel smiled "but hey the offer still stands, find me when you need a little wind in your hair"

"Gross" Aria giggled as she watched Noel walk away

" Oh don't be a prude" Alison smirked "Haven't you ever wanted to see what's it's like to ride his.."

"Oh my god Alison!!!" Aria screamed "Stop please"

"Oh come on sweetie, I'm only trying to help you" Alison took Aria's hand "Loosen up a little"

__________________________Present day.

Aria smiled as her new friend began to push her dress up, she could feel his soft hands against her inner thighs, and her mind went blank. She hated this life, sleeping with any guy who offered, in any place they wanted. This time a bar bathroom with some guy she didn't even knows name. God why was she like this? Ever since Alison left Aria had made it her mission to be as fun as Noel told her to be. All because she wanted love, she wanted to be happy and Alison was always happy and loved by all and so Aria took Alison's advice and ran with it. She was loose, she was fun, but somehow it wasn't working. it only made her want to cry, with every new guy she met she wanted to die a little more. She wasn't finding love and she wasn't happy yet stopping wasn't something she knew how to do. Her eyes glazed over as the encounter went on, she could hear him panting and she could feel him sweating and this all was making her just want to push him away and leave...maybe that's why Alison left, maybe being the fun girl she always was wasn't actually fun for her anymore. Maybe she couldn't stop it, but maybe the thought of one more guy was painful for her to think of.

_________________________The party.

"Spencey" Alison muttered as she arrived onto the dance floor "Dance with me"

"Of course my princess" Spencer laughed as she extended her arm, Alison taking her hand with a smile.

"Alison's no princess" Noel smirked as he walked over to the girls "You gotta be innocent to be a princess"

"Your right" Alison put her head up high "I'm the queen"

"Ahh and who's the king then?" Noel asked

"Hmm let me think" Alison giggled "I think Spencer will do"

"I think only boys can be king" Noel said as he began to walk away.

"Ali I really should be going, this is my last weekend to work on my homework before school starts." Spencer pleaded, as if she was asking to leave instead of telling.

"Spence. You can't leave, it's the last summer party" Alison rolled her ocean eyes. "Besides who takes classes during the summer anyways?"

"I do Ali, so I can get into a good college. It's really important to me"

"Well it shouldn't be, I mean who says you will be alive by then anyways. Wasting your time thinking of the future is silly cause you don't know if it's even going to happen." Alison told Spencer, "Now stop ruining the party and have fun."

"Wow Alison, isn't that kind of dark?" Spencer asked "Dying before I'm 18?"

"You'd leave a beautiful corpse" Alison smiled

"That's gruesome" Spencer shook her head and looked down

"No!" Alison got Spencer's attention "It's immortality my darling."

____________________________Present day.

Spencer stared at the homework that sat in front of her, her eyes looking at the words but her brain not letting them in, she couldn't seem to concentrate on anything lately and she knew why. It was Alison, what she said at the party about dying young, Spencer knew she was right. Why waste what short time you have here doing this? I mean look at Ali, she's gone at 16 and what did she do? nothing.

"It's immortality my darlings" Spencer smiled as she looked outside. She could feel Alison around her, as if she was still there but she wasn't. She could hear her voice in her head telling her to live life while she still has one, don't end up dying without a single fun story to tell. Spencer jumped up, but slowly she sat back down, her fingers lacing around the pencil that sat on her desk. Maybe Alison was right, maybe Spencer needed to be fun and live her life instead of stay on the safe path but Spencer didn't know how...

______________________________The (After) party.

"Emmy" Alison giggled as she ran through the street, Emily walking behind her.

"Yes Ali?" Emily smiled as she watched her friend spin in circles until she fell.

"I fells" Alison laughed, her hands raised up as Emily took them and helped her to her feet. Alison's feet shook as she tumbled onto Emily.

"Em & Em" Alison whispered "I love you...the mostest"

"Really?" Emily giggled as she wrapped her arm around her clearly drunk friend. "Let's go home Ali"

"No!!" Alison screamed, pulling away

"Why?" Emily asked

"Because I need to" Alison muttered, slowly stumbling over to Emily and then...BAM their lips were smashed together as Alison kissed Emily until Emily pushed her away.

"Stop!" Emily cried as she pushed Alison, "Don't do that, you can't"

"Why?" Alison pouted

"Because Ali, I love you!" Emily cried, tears streaming down her cheeks "I can't keep letting you lead me on and then hurt me, my heart can't take this...I can't do it anymore."

"Emmy" Alison smiled "We are just friends, can't we be just friends?"

"Friends don't do this!!" Emily yelled, her heart racing and her vision blurred from tears

"Yes they can Emily" Alison smiled

"Well then I don't want to be your friend, I can't deal with any of it. The way you talk to me and the others, the way you treat us. You don't deserve our friendship Ali...I hate this, I hate you!" Emily cried out, tears filling her eyes as she spoke.

"Fine..." Alison whispered "So I'll go then, and you can be happy without me"

"Ali" Emily muttered as she wiped her eyes, only to see her friend was running off into the distance "Alison!"

#Emison #Ali #Em #pll

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