#ask:cassidy

[ruvviks]

// ocs as types of suffering. [x]

tagged by; @adelaidedrubman, @shellibisshe, @thedeadthree, @katsigian, @devilbrakers, @dameayliins, @envergothash and @hibernationsuit, thank you so much!! tagging; @reaperkiller, @dickytwister, @velocitic, @secondsundering, @ncytiri and YOU!

SELF INADEQUACY.

you crack under the weight of your own percieved inability. how can you be enough for anyone else when you're just barely enough for yourself? insecurity causes you to have little back-bone, and so you fail to reach your full potential when it comes to what you're best at. you sabotage opportunities with fear you'll fail before you've begun. it hurts to never feel like your best is enough, but setting your standards too high or too low ensures it

director's commentary: aubrey very much lacks self confidence even if it might not be apparent from the way he acts. he puts on a performance so people won't truly know the real him in hopes they won't be disappointed by what they find; but because of that he struggles making the connections he so desperately wants to have with other people

YEARNING.

the pain in your chest bubbles knowing that what you want may never be yours. you're lost in a fantasy world, or consumed by what you wish you were or had as opposed to what you do. it's hard to appreciate what's around you when you're appreciating the hope of what could be instead

director's commentary: cassidy has always been yearning for everything. to get his family back, to have friends, to have a partner, to just be able to live in the way everyone else is able to live, to not have to be scared of dying at a young age. he can get envious easily because of it and gets stuck inside his own head a lot that way, but this settles down when he finds people who finally stick around

LONELINESS.

your heart feels full of the connection you feel you lack. no matter how many people are around you, strangers or not… someone is missing. you don't know who, what, or if you'll ever find them. you're unsure if there's a person out there who'll really satisfy your life, so really what's the point of continuing to look?

director's commentary: in a very literal sense, hanan is living parallel to the life she always hoped she would have. the two people that matter to her the most are right there with her but both of them are in love with someone else; and with her too to an extent but it's not the same as she had hoped for

THE GIVER.

your energy depletes as you hand it out to anyone passing by your basket. people walk by and take, but no one ever leaves. you're constantly running on low when people keep asking you to give. you'd give your soul away for free, and then what left do you have of yourself if you can't say no?

director's commentary: luna has a tendency to put other people's needs before their own and it causes them to be running on fumes way too easily these days. she loves helping out; but letting other people in is still difficult for her and it doesn't really occur to her she's only got so much left to give until it's already too late

DESPAIR.

the tunnel never had a light. you wish for nothing because you know you'll receive nothing, and your hopes died out long ago. the only thing that keeps you going is the thrill of emptiness you feel when things don't turn out your way. it's bitter. it's proof. proof that you don't feel this way for nothing

director's commentary: for a pretty long time, reid is stuck in a pit of despair of his own making, consequences of his actions as well as a self-destructive thought loop he's stuck in because of his grief, regret and shame. and in a way it's addicting; proven to be right, even in the darkest of times, feels good, no matter what that means for the rest of his well-being

#tag games #ask:aubrey #ask:cassidy #ask:hanan #ask:luna #ask:reid #reid's result is so edgy. of course you're addicted to your own misery you dumb cunt. he gets better though dw about it #aubrey's result is so. ouughh. like i KNEW but also i wasn't expecting THAT to be his result. but yeah it tracks

[ruvviks]

– OCS (+SHIPS) AS TAROT PAIRS.

TAGGED BY: @adelaidedrubman, @shellibisshe & @devilbrakers, thank you so much!! TAGGING: @reaperkiller, @envergothash, @twinwitchbolt, @bialanwake, @katsigian, @dickytwister, @dameayliins, @swordcoasts, @moonmothers, @baldursgate2 and YOU! – quiz / leon, luci and seb belong to @reaperkiller!

– AUBREY (+ LEON): THE TWO OF CUPS + THE STAR.

your romance is a wish granted. finally, finally, they're here. finally, it's here! the time where you don't have to feel lonely anymore - you'll never feel that way ever again. laughter, joy, sweetness, kisses - be at ease. all of these are things you have found someone to share with. your love is a dreamy fantasy of love and devotion and miracles. at first, your chest gets too tight when they're around - until they become as natural as the air in your lungs. deck: ethereal visions tarot.

director's commentary: aubrey has been searching for a place to belong for most of his life and meeting leon IS very much like a dream come true. the two are inseparable from the moment they meet and would follow each other to the ends of the world if necessary

– CASSIDY (+ SEB): THE TOWER + THE LOVERS.

meeting this person shook your whole world. crumbling down is everything you thought you knew about life and love. their warmth, their generosity, their naivete, their knowing…! you don't know how anything made sense before them. all you know is that nothing will make sense afterwards. deck: the tarot of the divine by yoshi yoshitani.

director's commentary: cassidy was supposed to kill seb for a contract but instead ended up working together with him and growing so much closer with him over the years until they end up together and this result reflects that perfectly. the way cassidy used to be entirely on autopilot and meeting seb caused it all to stop and now he can finally feel alive again

– KAIDA (+ HANAN + SEB): THE DEVIL + THE EMPEROR.

there's only one religion for the two of you, and that religion is the other. you two are very nearly unhealthily obsessed with one another, and that's just how you like it. when they touch you, they can feel the blood pumping under the surface of your skin. your hearts beat for one another. when the day comes that one stops, the other will soon after. until then, you both will live out your lives in perfect, gothy paradise. deck: the tarot of vampyres.

director's commentary: this is specifically for kaida, hanan and seb when they were still at arasaka and it perfectly describes specifically kaida's hunger for power and how xe saw a perfect future for xemself with hanan and seb by xyr side, and also how it influenced the other two- seb badly at that. near the end of it they wanted to run away together, but after seb's disappearance they never managed to make it that far

– REID (+ LUCI): ACE OF CUPS + TEN OF CUPS.

your romance is the love story that seems only possible in movies. it starts from a youthful first meeting, innocent. and from what may seem like a lifetime later, you both end up happily in union, perhaps even married! your coupling is the epitome of emotional fulfillment and devotion. neither of you thought you'd end up here, but damn if you aren't glad you did. deck: thelema tarot.

director's commentary: after reid gets his redemption arc he's not thinking about romance anymore since he thinks it's just not something for him, especially with how badly he fucked up his relationship with cassidy. and then he meets luci and it all basically turns his whole life upside down to the point he can't imagine a life without him anymore. the "lifetime later" part is not entirely accurate but given that they have a little friends with benefits era, then go back to just friends and after the horrors of the militech arc FINALLY get together at some point, it still fits LMAO

– VITALI (+ VINCENT): KNIGHT OF PENTACLES + THE MAGICIAN.

if there's something you want, you will GET IT. nothing escapes your fingertips. after all, you're the power couple. your pairing sparks pure cosmic energy. you're fiercely driven to your goals - whether that be status, fortune, or power. you're also fiercely protective of one another. with the knight's earthy energy, you both prefer to purposefully make your way towards your ambitions, rather than playing cards too early or acting too loosely. meanwhile, the magician's half makes gives you a little fire. if they get too close, onlookers and threats to your relationship may get burned. deck: modern witch tarot.

director's commentary: vitali and vincent ARE a power couple thank you very much. one of the most influential fixers in night city and the living legend of the afterlife, of course they're gonna be a little feared by some- and rightfully so. they're both very dedicated to one another and would basically burn the whole city to a crisp in order to keep the other safe, especially vitali

#tag games #ask:aubrey #ask:cassidy #ask:kaida #ask:reid #ask:vitali #insane how fitting these results are honestly

[ruvviks]

– OC HORROR TROPES.

TAGGED BY: @katsigian, @florbelles & @devilbrakers, thank you so much!! TAGGING: @aartyom, @reaperkiller, @faarkas, @cultistbase, @calenhads, @twinwitchbolt, @morvaris, @swordcoasts, @shellibisshe, @strafethesesinners, @adelaidedrubman, @henbased and YOU! – meiker / quiz

#tag games #ask:becca #ask:cassidy #ask:hanan #ask:kaida #ask:luna #ask:reid #put too much effort in this sorry for being obsessed with my ocs #anyway hii :) they were all very accurate but i changed becca's up because she got 'the whore' but romance fits her better. so #and added 'forced' to hanan's result because technically she IS the killer but also she's not in control of herself. so !!! #no director's commentary this time round because my brain is soup but. i love them very very much #very rusty with tagging people as always feel free to do this and say i tagged you!

[ruvviks]

– WHAT DOES YOUR HEART LOOK LIKE?

TAGGED BY: @katsigian & @devilbrakers, thank you so much!! TAGGING: @aartyom, @reaperkiller, @faarkas, @swordcoasts, @twinwitchbolt, @adelaidedrubman, @strafethesesinners, @henbased, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @ncytiri, @cultistbase, @reapersynth and YOU! – quiz

– A GUIDING, GOLDEN LIGHT.

just because you cannot see your own heart doesn’t mean that others can’t. your heart is blinding, captivating, a fire so bright that others can’t bring themselves to look away. it illuminates the path they follow and cements you as a guiding star for their own wayward hearts. every experience you’ve lived through has built your lighthouse heart up just a little higher. you are inspirational, a light that doesn’t go out.

director's commentary: the thing with ambrose is that he is so tired. desperately wants to stop working for arasaka but he knows they won't let him go and he believes they've turned him into a monster and there's nothing more to him now because of that. but at the same time he adopted a little girl who would have otherwise simply ended up alone again, and he is the whole world to her; and he is SUCH an important figure in the community they live in, helping with repairs to the building they live in wherever and whenever, always offering protection, and just a friendly familiar face to have a good conversation with at the end of a long day at work. he's so stuck in the belief that how arasaka sees him is how everyone he knows sees him that he doesn't even realize his own kindness and i'm very normal about that [lying]

– A TANGLED BALL OF RED STRINGS.

who are you without the company of others? you aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. you are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. it can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. you deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. you don’t have to be everything to everyone.

director's commentary: for the longest time, aubrey believed he knew exactly what he wanted and what was good for him. spent a decent amount of years living a much wilder life than he could actually handle and while he could always get along generally well with people, he could never really find his place even in the biggest of crowds. he's an entertainer, he knows he's funny and knows that's how he makes friends, but at the same time his somewhat obnoxious behavior is a defense mechanism- a way to control how people perceive him in hopes those who actually care about him will stick around despite all his flaws. it's hard to tell where the act stops and the real aubrey starts, but now that he's finally found his place and his people he can finally figure out who he really is

– ICED OVER, OUT OF THE SUN.

your heart is very lonely, isn’t it? is your fortress of ice self-made? are others afraid of you, or are you afraid of them? are you afraid of hurting them, or of being hurt? vulnerability and connection can be frightening, but that’s no reason to shy away from their light, to tuck yourself small into corners, to build up frigid walls to keep yourself from feeling. you will heal when you allow yourself to draw closer to the flames and thaw.

director's commentary: cassidy has been alone for a very long time and especially after his relationship with reid ended, he believed it would be for the best. didn't allow anyone close anymore because they showed no interest in him anyway, so why should he show interest in them? but deep down he longs to have some sort of connection to someone again, and he wants very badly to be loved- in literally any way. he's very scared of being hurt since physical touch does in fact hurt for him, and he's very scared of hurting others because in the past, any sort of confrontation has led to his loved ones dying. but in the end he manages to let people in again and it took him very long but he is finally healing from all of that now, and he no longer has to spend his nights alone

– AN OPEN DOOR, A BURNING HEARTH.

your chest is wide open, and your heart is a home. others are welcomed in readily and asked to stay. you are comfort and love, everything you were never given but so desperately want to provide for others. you have built this welcoming hearth with your own two hands and won’t see anyone else left out in the cold. be careful to not burn yourself out trying to keep everyone else warm.

director's commentary: harlowe is relatively new in comparison to the other guys listed here but this result fits him very well. he used to work as a doll and all of caused him to become very wary of other human beings and feel alienated from them. especially following the incident in which he lost his leg and his doll chip got broken, which led to him getting permanent brain damage after he was forced to keep using the broken chip, he felt very alone and unloved and it wasn't until aubrey got him out of that situation and basically adopted him into his family that things started changing for harlowe. and nowadays he is so full of love; makes it his job to make those around him feel welcome and safe, and he knows how to bring good vibes to any situation. but at the same time he still hasn't had a chance to properly work through all that's happened to him and he's starting to run on fumes

– A CAGE WITH IRON LOCKS.

you are an enigma. you take care to remain that way. you aim to keep people guessing; your motives are uncertain even to yourself. what is it you truly want? you’ll never know if you keep your heart locked away like that. you deserve to be known, truly and fully. stop being afraid of what you might find if you open your heart up to self-reflection. stop thinking that no one will love you the moment they understand you. you are more than the facade you put on.

director's commentary: reid doesn't have the greatest past- career at maxtac, cassidy's ex-boyfriend and reid was NOT a good boyfriend at all, and at some point he basically ended up trying to get cassidy to break up with his current partner and also hand him over to kang tao in a desperate attempt to get his own life back together. none of it worked out for him and he ended up having to work for aubrey; become his secretary and assistant in his fixer business, even though reid had already entirely accepted he was probably going to end up getting killed. now being forced to live with the consequences, reid has bettered himself and even ends up saving the lives of those he once wished dead- but he still carries his past with him everywhere he goes and has a hard time letting go of it all, scared to put himself out there again because he doesn't want the past to repeat itself. but as much as he tries to close himself off, people still find their way to him; and it takes him a while to fully open up, but he gets there in the end, and he's much better off nowadays

– MOLTEN LAVA AND CHARRED FLESH.

your heart burned so fiercely that it burnt itself out, leaving horrible scars in its wake; scars inside your chest and on the hands of those who touched you, the hearts of anyone who got close enough to connect to yours. the person you are now is no longer recognizable, burnt up by your own anger and passion and love. the injuries can never be fully erased, but they can be soothed with time and trust and forgiveness.

director's commentary: reuben's result is interesting because it's accurate but not entirely in the way you would expect. when he was with maelstrom, for the longest time he believed that he truly belonged there; it was his home, the only home he could remember, and despite the fact he was mostly treated like shit he found comfort there and was driven by a passion that came to exist entirely out of his loyalty to them. all of it fell apart when he learned everything he had done for them meant nothing, and he suddenly started to realize all the horrible things they made him do had not ever been good to begin with. he then spent a lot of time alone, hiding in his own little hideout and refusing to let anyone get near him. luckily enough this all changes for him and he ends up moving in with someone he now loves more than anything in the world, and he has countless of friends he would be willing to die for. his passion is still there, and his loyalty too- but this time it's created from within his own heart, rather than fabricated out of lies and empty promises

#tag games #ask:ambrose #ask:aubrey #ask:cassidy #ask:harlowe #ask:reid #ask:reuben #sorry i am very rusty with tagging people. feel free to kill me for whatever reason it's ok i support you #anyway hiii did you miss my endless director's commentary. i am a man who does not know how to shut the fuck up sorry #this quiz was really fun but also difficult because i kept getting the same results despite giving vastly different answers grrrr #but i'm satisfied with these now :] #anyway if you read all of that. let me kiss you on the lips

[ruvviks]

so. that song and cassidy. what's the story 👀

HEHEHE THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME >:^) so the thing with cassidy is that he got in a very bad accident when he was younger which has left him with a lot of cybernetic bones and a fucked up nervous system. every single touch that he doesn't expect is processed as pain by his body which is why he HATES being touched and generally keeps his distance from other people

after his relationship with reid ended (badly) he did not get in another relationship for many many MANY years (and it takes him a contract and a year of unsuccessfully hunting down a target to even meet his new love interest) and despite telling himself he was fine all by himself he did very much yearn to have a deeper connection with someone again and actually let someone close to him

when will i feel this // as vivid as it truly is? // fall in love in a single touch // and fall apart when it hurts too much

cassidy in his assassin years (think 2076-era and the start of 2077) is very lonely and numbed by everything and he's running mostly on autopilot. his world looks bleak and desaturated and he often feels like nothing around him is even real

can we skip past near-death clichés // where my heart restarts, as my life replays?

this one is interesting because to me it describes the moment where he finally snaps out of autopilot which is described at the end of chapter 3 of the fic i once started writing for him. he basically gets in a motorcycle crash and suddenly everything is different but also not

all i want is to flip a switch // before something breaks that cannot be fixed

describes cassidy's silent desire to be able to actually live his life again before his autopilot state pushes him too far down a path he doesn't want to follow

rain or shine, i don't feel a thing // just some information upon my skin // i miss the subtle aches when the weather changed // the barometic pressure we always blamed

once again describing cassidy's longing for being able to connect with his surroundings again, but also from a later perspective when he's looking back on all the time he's lost to running on autopilot

invisible machinery // these moving parts inside of me // well they've been shutting down for quite some time // leaving only rust behind

cassidy has so many cybernetic bones and maintenance is a tedious and tiring process and he knows that he could essentially crumble apart so easily still. he could die at any given moment and probably won't live a very long life because of his condition and chronic pain and he's very aware of it but can't do much about it

well i know, i know the sirens sound // just before the walls come down // pain is a well-intentioned weatherman // predicting god as best he can // but god i wanna feel again

he has so many inner struggles about his boundaries and his needs and how to get what he wants and needs without causing himself more pain in the progress. eventually he gets it by the way he gets his happy ending!! but it takes a while to get there and definitely not in the way he was expecting it to happen

down my arms, a thousand satellites // suddenly discover signs of life

to me this part describes the single touch mentioned at the start of the song which he shares with someone and suddenly everything clicks together and he is no longer in pain. gentleness received from someone he never thought he would get that from given the circumstances but at the end of the day it makes sense because if you spend so long trying to kill each other you know exactly how to touch the other to hurt them but you also know exactly how to touch them to not inflict any pain at all

#asks #hibernationsuit #ask:cassidy #oc asks #hi. hello. sorry i am so insane about my boy

[ruvviks]

❣️🗣️🌱👪🎢💬 for cassidy and/or vitali mayhaps? :-)

oc asks!

❣️ - What are their love languages?

cassidy's love languages are physical touch and quality time :^) he likes being close with people and spending time with them, doesn't even necessarily mean they have to talk the whole time because he will gladly sit in silence for hours and still have the time of his life

vitali's love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation and acts of service. it's interesting that as a fixer especially the last two are things he does (and receives in return from his mercs) basically on a daily basis; it's what makes him a good fixer and why his business runs smoothly and why his mercs actually like working for him :^) physical touch as reassurance is also a thing he's good at

🗣️ - How do they handle public speaking?

cassidy isn't too fond of social interactions in general and he has trouble with a lot of day-to-day interactions with for example a cashier in a store or a waiter taking his order. when he has a script to work with it goes a lot better, but the second the other person doesn't stick to it he will shut down a little bit. he's getting better at it but still has his bad days sometimes but that's ok :^) he's got plenty of people who can help him out with it nowadays

vitali is a lot better at it because of his history at arasaka and also having worked a lot of retail jobs himself. he regularly does mission debriefs with mercs and he has calls every single day with clients and potential sponsors and he's given entire speeches before in meetings, council gatherings as well as for his own mercs. he's very confident in his speaking abilities and since he's lived in night city all his life, there's not really a language barrier to struggle with either

🌱 - Do they have a green thumb or are they a plant killer?

cassidy loves plants and he's very good with them! always knows exactly how much sunlight and water they need and which spot in his apartment is best for a specific plant and such. he also talks to them a lot,, hasn't named all of them though. that would be too difficult to memorize since he's already named all his plushies

vitali is. decent. with plants. he's not great at keeping them alive but usually they do live for a while so he's not a plant killer either he just tends to forget about them easily, or he's too busy with work

👪 - What’s their relationship with their parents like?

cassidy's parents died when he was very young and by now he can barely even remember what they were like :( his adoptive father also died when he was 16 so he doesn't have any parental figures anymore and while he often wonders what it would be like if they were all still alive, he also can't think about it too much or he will get envious towards others who DO still have their parents in their lives

vitali's relationship with his parents is. complicated. if we're talking post broker fic however: he doesn't talk to his mother anymore. the damage nadya did to him his entire life is irreparable since she still refuses to see him as her son and she is still stubbornly holding on to the belief that vitali ruined her life. vitali IS however trying to restore his relationship with his father a little bit. even after everything that happened, he can see that nadya influenced a lot of matvey's decisions and he wants to give his father a chance now that nadya is no longer in the picture. we support divorce in this household

🎢 - Do they like amusement parks? What’s their favorite ride?

cassidy LOVES amusement parks but also gets easily overwhelmed by them so he doesn't go on many rides usually, but he likes anything with water a lot!! ferris wheel too. i don't know if that counts as an amusement park ride but it does to me. nothing beats a good ferris wheel

vitali enjoys amusement parks a regular amount but also gets motion sickness easily in the wilder rides :( he loves haunted houses though. prefers the ones where you can just sit in a cart that moves around but is willing to walk through something himself too. less likely to go in there with vincent and mikhail then though because they Will both try to jump on his back when startled

💬 - What are some filler/buffer words they use? (Like, um, etc.)

cassidy mostly just uses "um" and stretches it out longer if he needs more time to think or he simply stays quiet. on rare occasions he will try to keep talking instead but he stops making sense at some point because his inner dialogue and what's coming out of his mouth are mixing together and it's not going well

vitali tends to go for what sounds more like "eehh" and weaves it into his speech flawlessly so it sounds like he's tying it to the end of a word until he's found the next one. it flows so well that you usually don't even notice it :^) if his brain is lagging behind a lot then his speech will be a lot choppier and he will add "well" in there a lot

#asks #hibernationsuit #ask:cassidy #ask:vitali #oc asks #THAMK YOUUU these are so fun. my brain is going so fast #forever insane about the fact that the broker fic is very clearly about the things matvey is doing #yet somehow to vitali all of that is still overshadowed entirely by how his mother hurt him in his childhood #with still seeing him as her daughter for some fucking reason. and grieving and needing time or whatever. when vitali was right there #normalcore about it [lying]

[ruvviks]

>> oc pairing template

was tagged by @druidgroves, @aartyom, @devilbrakers, @shellibisshe and @necro-hamster to do this template for my ocs, thank you so much!! tagging @arklay, @steelport, @morvaris, @liurnia, @girlbosselrond, @faarkas, @brujah, @katsigian, @cultistbase and anyone else who wants to do this :D <3 seb belongs to @reaperkiller >:^) <3

#tag games #ask:cassidy #click for better quality tumblr loves to mess it up <3 #anyway. TWO OF THEM!! #slow burn trope gets an honorary mention because it takes them. let's check actually #ah yes! a year to stop the killing and then another two years before there's a confession :D #what i've written for them so far is just the tip of the iceberg i'm very sorry but also not. this is fun. they're insufferable #ALSO head over to red's blog for the other boys >:^) i'm holding you at gunpoint

[ruvviks]

💚☁️👖 and 😭 for cassidy!!!! <33

oc asks!

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

cassidy likes it a lot when people he cares about know what to do when he's feeling upset- bringing him to a quieter spot, sitting down with him, holding his hand, stuff like that. it makes him feel safe with them and makes him feel like he's being taken seriously which is something that hasn't always been the case

he also loves getting hugs and holding hands with people! when he is really comfortable with someone he will simply crawl into their arms unprompted whenever he wants to be comfy

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

cassidy keeps all handwritten notes that people leave for him! his favorite ones either go into his journal or in his wallet or the notebook in the dashboard locker of his car and all the others are safely stored in a little box he keeps under his bed :) even if it's something as simple as a reminder or a little grocery list he's still keeping it because it all means a lot to him either way; it's a reminder that he exists in other people's lives too

👖 JEANS - what is their go-to outfit?

cassidy's work outfit is a suit without the tie and a long black coat over it! he wears this most of the time still even though he's no longer a full-time assassin because it feels familiar. if he wants to be more comfortable he'll wear jeans of stretchy fabric (softer to the touch than actual denim) with his favorite hoodie on top

😭 CRYING - what makes them cry? do they cry easily?

cassidy cries pretty easily when he's overwhelmed or frustrated. it's the easiest and fastest way for him to release all the tension in his body and when he feels comfortable enough in his environment he'll let the tears flow freely until he feels better

#asks #ncytiri #ask:cassidy #oc asks #THANK UUU cassidy is so fucking important to me did you know that. i love him so much #basically what comforts him is when people make him feel understood. and man. i'm normal about that

[ruvviks]

>> oc love language quiz

was tagged by @devilbrakers and @reaperkiller to take this test for my ocs, thank you so much!! tagging @steelport, @arklay, @aartyom, @swordcoasts, @faarkas, @morvaris, @liurnia, @girlbosselrond, @cultistbase, @ladybeniko, @katsigian, @aelyosos, @florbelles, @turbo-virgins, @necro-hamster, @strafethesesinners, @henbased, @adelaidedrubman, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @awful-roffle and anyone else who wants to do this :D <3

– CONSUMPTION OF A HEART UNLOVED.

here’s a dining table, here’s a set of plates. here’s your heart, red and bursting with love. you have tried to love people all your life, but no one seems to understand you. your own mother perhaps forgot to teach you how to protect yourself, maybe people whom you trusted chose to look the other way when all you wanted was a hand full of love. all you want is someone to take from you, all you want is someone to dig in your heart and eat it and kiss you afterwards - bloody and red. you want them to tell you that you are what they have been looking for, you want to be the one who ends their hunger

director's commentary: cassidy poured his heart out when he was in a relationship with reid and reid essentially told him he was too much to handle </3 and cassidy continued trying to be good enough for the people around him and tried to be part of it, tried to belong, and yet everyone continued to just. turn away from him. all he wanted was to be loved and he never got this in his past and it always makes me insane because so much of the shit he goes through could've been prevented if someone had just. given him a little bit of attention. he wasn't asking for much </3

– A KNIFE CALLED GRIEF.

you have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? you can run but not without them. you want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. you want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. you want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. because you know you’d do that for them

director's commentary: at this point everyone knows that mikhail and vitali lost contact with each other for six years because vitali lost his phone (it got taken and wrecked by his insane ex but he didn't know this; and mikhail didn't know vitali lost his phone and thought he was ignoring him instead) so like. this result is like. literally describing that. no other comment i'm fine [dies]

– AN UNDOING INFLUENCE.

can someone tell you what to do? you have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. if someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. you want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever

director's commentary: vincent keeps ending up alone somehow through most of his past and when he returns to night city he is NOT expecting to make any new friends. this result essentially just. describes him when he moves back to night city from atlanta and the hypothetical second half Actually happens with him when he meets vitali and they end up together which is GOOD but also once again makes me insane because this quiz is like what. seven questions long?? how did it know that

– A STORY THAT ENDS IN BLOOD.

the world has always been unkind, and when you have turned to yourself for comfort you have come face to face with an empty pit which seems to be laughing. you don’t care if it kills you but once you find someone whom you love and who loves you back, you will make sure nothing happens to them. they are yours. you will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that. because it has always been about love, and it is how it always ends

director's commentary: WELL WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY AT THIS POINT once again. literally vitali. would do anything for vincent but also just the rest of his loved ones and especially in the broker chapter it's becoming very apparent that it HAS always been about love. and it is how it always ends. possibly. who knows how this will end. i do >:^)

#tag games #ask:cassidy #ask:mikhail #ask:vincent #ask:vitali #not bones with the annoying director's commentary again. sorry i have a lot to say </3 #love this quiz though it's almost as good as that tarot quiz. maybe even as good. i love it

[ruvviks]

>> oc tragic horror trope quiz

was tagged by @strafethesesinners, @shellibisshe, @jillvalcntines, @aceghosts and @swordcoasts to take this test for my ocs, thank you so much!! tagging @reaperkiller, @steelport, @arklay, @aartyom, @cultistbase, @morvaris, @brujah, @aelyosos, @faarkas, @druidgroves, @devilbrakers, @dickytwister, @adelaidedrubman, @henbased, @florbelles and anyone else who wants to do this :D <3

– THE ONE WHO OPENED THE DOOR.

you turn the door handle. you call out, "who's there?" and the crowd has the audacity to groan, to get frustrated with you. as if the gift of hindsight was something you had. how the hell were you supposed to know you were born into a horror movie? no one bothered to tell you. say, if instead this was an action film, or a fantasy, would they still be telling you how silly of a mistake it was to press further on your quest? they would've commended you for your bravery. you thought you were going to be saving a princess in a tower, not getting stabbed in the back by a killer in the shadows. how is that fair? it isn't, and none of that was ever your fault. it is not wrong to believe things are good. your trust, your optimism, it shouldn't ever be mistaken for ignorance or stupidity. we need more people who open doors. how else are any of us gonna move forward?

director's commentary: i know i haven't talked all that much about aubrey yet but this result is killing me because in the story he's part of he is LITERALLY the one who opens the door :D aha :D it luckily doesn't kill him but there's something insane about how an accident turns into literally his worst nightmare and every time he asks himself "how could this have happened?" the answer is very simple. you opened the door babygirl

– THE GHOST.

it's an odd thing, to feel so far from grounded and yet trapped, tethered, unable to escape. there's more you have to do! so why can't you move? i'm sure you have an answer to that, at the very least in the back of your mind. people love to say that ghosts hold grudges or haunt for revenge but they always get it wrong; you're stuck because something or someone chained you down and left you there. you try and reach out to all those bright people who pass through your life, but it rarely feels like it does much more than knock a cup off the table, blow some papers into the air. i need you to trust me- they see it. they're listening. they'll keep looking for you and, eventually, they'll be able to see you too

director's commentary: cassidy was basically on autopilot for some years and his desperate attempts at connecting with people never worked out for him which is. exactly what this result describes and i'm not normal about it <3 for years he literally was just a ghost moving through life. i'm in hell

– FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER.

this plight is the simplest of them all: you did not ask for this. you were never given a choice. no part of yourself feels human, just a collection of traits you've picked up from mirroring anyone you could, even the people you meet through a television screen. it's alienating to live that way- yet someone has called you the alienating one. maybe too many people to count. maybe they treated you so uncomfortably inhuman that it's all you can understand now, or you've dug yourself into such a deep hole in an attempt to keep safe that you can't remember a person living in the home of your body at all. being alive is confusing and painful and lonely and loud but living is all there is to being human- you're already there. just take air into your lungs and breathe. close your eyes and picture a beautiful sky. you made that. you painted that yourself

director's commentary: yet another result that's already painful on its own but hits different when you keep the whole relic thing with johnny in mind aha xoxo the way the whole incident just alienated vincent from his own body is insane to me especially considering he's also trans. there's a lot going on there. much to think about

#tag games #ask:aubrey #ask:cassidy #ask:vincent #no longer annoying in the tags i'm annoying in the text post now sorry #i want to make out with this quiz sloppy style i'm not kidding this is so facking good #the way the results fit so perfectly with their stories and their already established personalities. i'm fine #also i'm so distracted today i have done a lousy job at tagging people if i forgot you or you already did this feel free to kill me <3

[ruvviks]

– OC RAMBLING.

TAGGED BY: @katsigian & @reaperkiller, thank you so much!! TAGGING: @aartyom, @strafethesesinners, @faarkas, @necro-hamster, @dirtyimbecile and YOU! RULES: posts 5 facts about your oc, open the latest section of the #cyberpunk 2077 tag and reblog 5 posts of people you don't follow, giving them nice tags & then tag 5 people to spread the game!

– CASSIDY SHAFFER.

Following the tragic deaths of his parents and siblings, Cassidy was sent to an orphanage at the age of eight where he lived for a couple of years. An incident caused the building to collapse and he was buried under the rubble, which caused him to be in a coma for six months. His injuries were very serious and he needed to have several of his bones replaced with cybernetic bones which he has to this day; on top of that, his nervous system got such a shock he now has to deal with very low pain tolerance. He's very sensitive to touch and more than often refuses to let people get near, even the lightest brush of someone's fingers past his skin can feel like a solid punch if he's not been expecting it.

Cassidy was a very intelligent kid and he let himself get recruited into Militech at the age of 16, seeing no other future for himself. He had strategic insight and administrative skills, as well as a knack for computers and digital technology the other candidates lacked- this caused his two year training period to be cut short and he began working for Michele Diaz, one of his superiors. He worked for Militech for several years, but continuously got himself into trouble; he was sent away from bodyguard duty after they found out he was killing his clients himself (they were rude to him and wouldn't stop doing so when he asked them nicely), was sent away from his desk job because he continuously got into heated arguments with his coworkers (started by them after he tried to offer them help), was sent away from his netrunning job because he kept hacking into Militech's own systems (he had nothing else to do so he did this to pass the time and write detailed reports on how their security could be improved), and he even didn't last long in the cleanup crew he was placed in because he kept gathering evidence and data on crime scenes which he would then sell to other corporations, to hold this against them, involve NetWatch and essentially blackmail everyone until he would walk away from the situation victorious and with large sums of money for Militech. This eventually prompted his superiors to "recommend" him to MaxTac and Cassidy was placed over to the other corporation.

At MaxTac, Cassidy got his somewhat obnoxious and pretentious attitude rather quickly beaten out of him; not literally, but his duties as "intern" were heavy enough for him to switch to an almost autopilot state of living. He spent some years barely present while doing field work, until he got injured and was moved to a desk job to make a full recovery. Here, he had to oversee the cyberpsycho reprogramming program at MaxTac HQ and worked directly under Officer Reid Bennett, a senior MaxTac exec who from day one showed interest in him. They grew close quickly and started a romantic relationship only two months after meeting each other, and to Cassidy it felt like he had known Reid for years already. This of course could not last; much later it turned out Reid's initial curiosity had been a temporary feeling only and he had only kept Cassidy around as entertainment, and he ended their relationship rather suddenly during a time Cassidy was already spiraling because of work-related business. After yet another incident which involved Cassidy killing his entire squad after they had made fun of him, he was forced to run away from the corporation and sought shelter at Kang Tao.

Kang Tao also did not last long for Cassidy. Following yet another fight with a colleague (they blamed Cassidy for something he hadn't even had anything to do with and humiliated him in front of the entire division), Cassidy released a bunch of Kang Tao-related scandals to the public and bounced before they could capture him to deal with him. Naturally so, he has very big trust issues nowadays and prefers to be all by himself most of the time, despite secretly longing for more human contact; it physically hurts him and there's a big chance they'll dislike him anyway, so he prefers to just save himself the trouble and stay away from others as best as he can.

Nowadays, Cassidy is an assassin, taking jobs from anyone as long as they have nothing to do with a corporation; if he were to find out his client has been lying to him, he simply kills them too for that reason alone. He's once again running completely on autopilot, actively pushing away all his feelings and emotions at all times to be able to keep his calm and collected composure; however, all of that is going to be changing soon. I'm writing a fic about it if you're interested :].

Bonus fact: Despite him being the equivalent of the standing man emoji most of the time, Cassidy is actually very sweet and kind- he just needs to snap out of his autopilot mode first and allow people to get close to him again. He actually loves holding hands with people he trusts and can talk for hours on end about things that interest him, and he's always very considerate and puts in a lot of effort to learn about the people around him to make sure he doesn't accidentally hurt them, and to be able to surprise them with a gift or their favorite food one day :]. It takes him a while to get there but he gets there in the end.

#tag games #ask:cassidy #sorry i can't be brief i even wanted to link his entire backstory doc but i shall refrain from doing so. for now #hmu if you wanna read it though i have it right here. i'm looking at it right now. tee hee and lol #anyway. my baby boy who i love so so so much he means the world to me

[ruvviks]

CASSIDY ASK INCOMING ok so instead of going like the deeply thoughtful route, i love learning about people's ocs and their likes? if that makes sense?? like does cassidy have a favorite animal? what's his favorite movie? does he have a favorite genre of music?? that's the kind of stuff i love to find out, so pls feel free to share some little fun facts about him!!! 🫶

OHH THANK YOU I LOVE THIS ONE ok here we go >:^)

so cassidy's favorite animal of all time is. bunny. 1000%. at this point he would not even admit that under torture but if we skip ahead a couple of years he ends up with two little rabbits called mochi and powder :) mochi is white and beige and light brown in color and she loves to sleep on people and powder is white in color and loves to choose violence. she keeps biting people's cybernetic hands

can't pick a least favorite animal for him BUT i do want to mention that for the longest time he's scared of cats and dogs. which are both present in my night city because i love animals sorry. cats because they just seem scary to him and dogs because reid ended up being attacked by a dog once at maxtac and that scared cassidy a LOT. nowadays he still gets nervous around dogs but cats are fine he's learned to appreciate them :) seb's cat (mr stromboli) gets carried around like a baby by cassidy a lot

cassidy's favorite color is blue!! blue like the sky on a sunny day. or like the ocean. or like seb's eyes. kinda gay. he likes ending his messages with a blue heart <3 he doesn't really have a least favorite color either tbh he likes to put in effort to make things work so he could find something to like about all colors :)

as for movies, he LOVES to watch horror movies. he's not someone to just sit down and watch a movie normally unfortunately he loves to pick the whole thing apart while watching and then some. horror movies occasionally get him to shut up and sit in anticipation and then he gets startled by a jumpscare

cassidy's favorite food is pancakes!! LOVES to eat them with whipped cream and berries. strawberries... but also blueberries or raspberries. sometimes with just some syrup. sometimes with chocolate spread and vanilla ice cream. he likes sweet food a lot :)

his favorite weather is secretly just overcast weather or when it's raining and thundering, but he likes to be inside for that. he also loves it when it's warm and sunny but there's something very comforting to him about a regular, overcast day or a thunderstorm in like mid-august

as for music,,, that's again one that's just. whatever honestly. he can appreciate anything as long as the noises in the songs aren't annoying him :)

#asks #mutuals #ncytiri #ask:cassidy #oc asks #HE IS SOOO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE #THANK U i love answering questions like these. they're so simple but also tell so much about a person

[ruvviks]

👁️💢💤🍓🌺🌏🏊⏳📦 for an oc u really want to talk abt but doesn't get enough attention <3

oc asks!

THANK YOU i'm gonna answer these for cassidy my sweet angel cassidy :^)

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical…)?

cassidy's original eye color is brown but he has white eyes nowadays with glowing rings around his pupils! they glow in the dark a little bit on occasion which makes him look intimidating, even more so than usual considering he's also 2.01m tall

people tend to notice his eyes pretty fast because of their color and they might make people feel a bit uncomfortable but also they're mesmerizing in my honest opinion. very pretty eyes and that's also why he chose that color for his kiroshis, no other reason than just that he liked the color :) it's very easy to read his eyes too, he's good at masking his emotions in his facial expressions but his eyes don't lie

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

cassidy does everything in a very specific order and he is very careful and meticulous about it. if anything unexpected happens he will be a bit upset about it; doesn't necessarily let it show but it can cause him to shut down very easily so he always sticks to his routines because they feel safe and familiar

he also needs his privacy from time to time and this can happen pretty unexpectedly when he's feeling overwhelmed suddenly; especially when you're close with him and want to be around him in that moment this might take a sec to get used to. 5 hours of alone time could be enough, but usually it takes him a day or two to be normal again

cassidy is also very blunt about things. when something is bothering him, he will be more open about it than others because he wants to find a solution as fast as possible. this might be a little startling at first, but ultimately it's a good thing because it just means that things can get talked out quick and easy so nobody has to overthink anything :)

💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep?

cassidy takes pretty long to fall asleep generally, but he's used to it to the point it doesn't bother him at all. he likes it when it's quiet around him and he needs to be holding on to something or someone to be able to settle down enough to fall asleep eventually. on top of that, having had a busy day also tends to help because then he will fall asleep a LOT faster. boy is OUT

🍓 STRAWBERRY - do they eat their fruit & veg? what is their favourite fruit or vegetable?

cassidy LOVES fruit and veggies :) his favorite fruit is peaches definitely and his favorite veggie is cauliflower! but bell pepper is a close second. another fun fact is that he eats with fork and knife all the time. he will not eat a banana with his hands you will have to watch him cut that thing in pieces and eat it with a fork. he is very serious about it

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

it's not necessarily an allergy but because of his cybernetic bones and joints, cassidy isn't allowed to have certain medication because of the meds and cybernetics not going well together :( if it's just the single pill then it's fine but specifically when he takes a lot of it over a longer period of time it'll cause malfunctions and his bones will pop out of the joints more easily and stuff like that. which is NOT!! what you want!!!

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

cassidy would give up the world for his husband but it would be a very difficult decision for him still. if seb would want to move elsewhere and leave night city behind, cassidy will do it 10000% but he would be super sad about it because he has made so many friends and he feels so safe and at home with all of them. but he loves seb so fucking much. of course he would go with him

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

cassidy can swim, but he doesn't do it very often. it's usually only ever something he does when he's on a job and he has no other choice, it would take some effort to convince him to go swimming for fun. he would rather not swim in the ocean, but if he HAS to for whatever reason he will do it. but he will complain about it the entire time

⏳ HOURGLASS - are they usually late or on-time?

cassidy has EXCELLENT time management skills and he is always a little early, usually 15-10 minutes depending on traffic. it gives him enough time to settle down and sort out his things before getting to work which is very important for him considering he runs out of social battery very quickly if he's not prepared well enough for something

📦 PACKAGE - what are some "most likely to…" that can apply to them?

most likely to fail at being an assassin </3

#asks #hibernationsuit #ask:cassidy #oc asks #i am always carrying him around in my pocket he is SO fucking special to me. btw. did you know that #world's most autistic assassin of course he was never gonna succeed at killing seb

[ruvviks]

>> oc quizzes

needed to catch up with tag games so i did a bunch of them in one post >:) was tagged by @arklay, @shellibisshe, @aceghosts, @florbelles and @strafethesesinners to take this test for my ocs, was tagged by @strafethesesinners to take this test and this test for my ocs, and was tagged by @aceghosts to take this test for my ocs, thank you all so much and sorry for the delay i've just been sitting here LMFAO <33 tagging @radioactiveshitstorm, @sweet-mephistopheles, @awful-roffle, @dickytwister, @roses-of-heaven, @reaperkiller, @steelport, @aartyom, @morvaris, @swordcoasts, @girlbosselrond, @cultistbase, @liurnia, @faarkas and anyone else who wants to do this :D <3 feel free to just pick one!!

– WHAT'S AT YOUR CORE?

– SPUN GOSSAMER.

the easiest thing to do is stay quiet when something’s up. you’re not bothered, and you know what? you shouldn’t be! it’s none of your business, even when it’s entirely your business. it’s difficult (read: impossible) to tell if your cheery demeanor is a cover-up for something sadder, or if it’s simply your natural state of mind. you see a lot of things: people coming through town, people leaving the house and never coming back, lies and deceit of the highest degree. what happened to you? will you ever be that kid again? your presence smells like cotton candy, and your fingertips sparkle like stars. whatever white rabbit you’re chasing isn’t going to lead you to wonderland if you don’t start reaching out when you’re not feeling okay

– FLIGHTLESS BIRD.

the thought of your found family is what motivates you in your own little world. you touch the clouds, and the soil gives way under your footprints… this is utopia. if you were to erase one thing, it would be your memory. experience is important, but ignorance is bliss. identity, in heaven, should give way to happiness. you'd give anything just to sit by the swings and eat ice cream, but this isn't that kind of world. you have to get up and wash the dirt off of your scraped knees

– WHAT JEWEL ARE YOUR BONES MADE OF?

– PEARL.

you are a bit of an open wound. ⍜ the pain won’t kill you like you think it will, let yourself bear it and you’ll find you can ⍜ you might even find that the world is a lot more than your oyster. ⍜ reticent (unwillingly so), passive, introverted ⍜ resilient, generative, adaptable ⍜ you hold the ability to create and recreate the world around yourself

– STAR SAPPHIRE.

well hello, beautiful. ✦ how does it feel to have their eyes on you all the time? ✦ do you like to perform? do you like the way their hands reach for you as you turn in the spotlight? ✦ do you wish they would stop? ✦ they won’t. they can’t help it. ✦ is that the reaction you wanted? you want them to laugh, to cry, to moan, to yell at you maybe. ✦ you only exist in the lines spreading across the faces of others, right? ✦ if nobody thinks of you, you aren’t. so you make yourself headline news and they won’t look away ✦ attention won’t solidify you when the sun comes up and love won’t fill that hole inside. ✦ you might want to install an alarm system. just because they want you, doesn’t mean you have to give yourself

– WHICH GREEK GOD ARE YOU?

– ARES.

ok i had to really search the myths for some positive ares rep… i did not find any. regardless. you are not some meathead or the embodiment of rage or whatever. you've just got your thing, which ok is a little bit to do with war/anger/wrath etc. but so do the rest of these guys. you're just as good as the rest of them and you have an incredibly hot aura so congrats on that. there's more to you than some people bother to see, fuck them if they don't

– APRHODITE.

you honestly have the hardest energy to pin down. 'oh aphrodite is just some love/sex god' wrong the spartans worshipped her as a war goddess. you can be found anywhere and nowhere, you are mysterious, you are ethereal, many probably love you

– WHAT KIND OF SPOOKY CREATURE ARE YOU?

– GULPER EEL.

king of the deep sea. your whole deal is swimming around with your mouth wiiiiiide open. fearless. hungry

– FRESNO NIGHTCRAWLER.

hahaha oh my god. oh my god your legs are so long. your joie de vivre is unlimited. i’m terrified

#tag games #ask:cassidy #ask:cato #ask:luna #ask:reid #ask:teo #ask:twitch #ask:vincent #ask:vitali #much to think about! there's a lot going on here!!! #cato's result. chef's kiss truly #luna's result was mean so i got rid of the last sentence >:( but there's Something there so i kept the rest #cassidy and vincent out to kill me once again #reid as ares. yeah #vitali as aphrodite. yeah #and teo and twitch my besties!!!!! they're here now!!!!!!!! #kinda speedran these a bit but also. spinning everything in my brain

[ruvviks]

how is cassidy going to celebrate his bday? 🥺🤍

THANK YOU FOR THIS <33

cassidy used to HATE celebrating his birthday because of his family dying on his birthday which is. probably one of the most unfortunate things to ever happen to him (there's a lot of unfortunate things that have happened to him but this one is definitely high up there) :( he managed to reach the point where he kinda just ended up forgetting about his birthday altogether... but in more recent years he's been painfully aware of it and it's not always easy

however, now that he's surrounded by people who love him and care so so much about him it's starting to become easier again :^) he doesn't celebrate big at all because of being easily overwhelmed but loves going to a familiar place with seb for the day (aquarium date, or going for a long ride in the badlands) and hanging out with the rest of the cobras or with luna, teo and twitch :^) he still gets nervous and shy when receiving a gift but he appreciates the gesture a lot and he will basically be glued to his partner and his friends for most of the day. that's not much different from any other day to be honest but you can tell that it's Different on his birthday. the vibes are different

cassidy still often thinks about his family on his birthday and about all the time he's missed out on with them, but in a way it also feels like they're there with him on that day. he Will cry about it every single year but it's ok he's allowed

#asks #hibernationsuit #ask:cassidy #oc asks #world's specialest little boy. also the bear i got from red is called cassie and his birthday is only a few days before cassidy's birthday #and i love that :^)

[ruvviks]

first headcanon. cassidy has thrown a little party for his plushies when it was one of their birthdays at Least once. complete with a little party hat for the plushie in question

verdict: 10/10

cassidy's plushies are SO important to him. if you even care. when he was younger he had no friends and ended up pretending his plushies were his friends to the point it stuck with him his entire life and he still does that nowadays and he is Very serious about it. hates his own birthday for many many reasons but he would rather die than miss the birthdays of his plushies. he HAS taken days off from work for this btw and he will do it again

send me headcanons!

#asks #mutuals #reaperkiller #ask:cassidy #oc asks #important to mention that he doesn't start getting plushies for himself again until after the end of killing era #so he's like. more of a normal man at that point. as far as you could call him that ESJGFDHGJH #he is my most important little boy if you say anything mean about him i'll kill you