#back again with my wednesday Tyler and enid being besties agenda

[a-smol-cosplayer]

more incorrect wednesday quotes bc im a heathen and clinically obsessed 

these are both wyler and wenclair friendly :) im sorry wavier you will get ur turn I promise. 

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Enid: you should treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Wednesday: killed without hesitation

Enid: nO-

/

Tyler: If I died, how much would you miss me?

Wednesday: It’s cute that you think death can get you out of this relationship .

/

Wednesday: My middle name is danger.

Enid: Wrong, your middle name is cutie-pie.

/

Bianca: You're really campaigning for bitch of the year, huh?

Wednesday: As defending champion, are you nervous?

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Tyler: i would die for you

Wednesday: i would die for you too

Tyler, suddenly very emotional: please don’t do that

/

Enid: I won.

Wednesday: [raising an eyebrow] I have you pinned to the ground.

Enid: I know.

/ 

Tyler: Wednesday you listen to me 

Tyler: I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed

Tyler: But that’s why blunt force trauma exists /

Ajax: I love how unproblematic firefighters are. They just want to put out the fires.

Bianca, gazing darkly into the distance: I used to think that.

Ajax: That was so ominous? What the fuck did firefighters do to you?

\ 

Tyler: Wednessay, please, we need to take you to the hospital

Wednesday: Oh, I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound?

Tyler: ......

Wednesday: No? I didn't think so, stay out of it. 

/ 

Xavier: What should I be for Halloween?

Bianca: A better person.

Xavier: Fuck you

/

*The squad is playing a team sport*

Bianca: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Enid?

Wednesday: Have you ever played a team sport with Enid?

Bianca: No…

Wednesday: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?

*Meanwhile, on the other side of the field*

Enid, chasing Tyler around the field: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

/ 

Wednesday: I have no respect for Santa. Don't sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents.

Wednesday: Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

/

Bianca: You're all losers

Ajax, Xavier, Yoko and Kent: Well then why do you hang out with us?

Bianca: Because I don't have any other friends

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Ajax: I'm a firm believer in, "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly" 

Enid: ...that doesn't answer my question. Why are you covered in custard and glitter? 

Ajax: Because I failed spectacularly Enid 

Enid: ...okay then

/

Wednesday: I've never had a best friend before

Enid: I'll be your best friend!

Wednesday: .........

Wednesday: I've also never had a girlf-

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Enid: Try thinking postive for a change!

Wednesday: We're all gonna die one day

Enid: N-

Wednesday: Hopefully soon

Enid:

/

Yoko: Who accidentally drops their cellphone into soup?

Kent: It wasn't an accident, I wanted to see if it would float.

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Yoko: If somebody wants coal for Christmas, but they’ve been bad, does Santa give them a gift, or do they win either way?

Bianca: Oh, for fuck's sake.

Xavier: Hold on, hold on, she has a point.

/ 

Tyler: Are you mad?

Wednesday: No.

Tyler: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Wednesday: Yes.

\

Xavier: if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

*silenece*

Xavier: Man, y’all depressed as f*ck.

Bianca: You didn’t clap either.

Xavier: Shut up.

/

Ajax: what did you guys do? 

The group: .....

Ajax: you're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again

\

Tyler: I've been expecting you, Wednesday

Wednesday *surprised*: How did you know that it was me?

Tyler: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people that came in weren't you

/ 

Xavier: If being hot was a crime I’d be serving a life sentence.

Bianca: For a crime you didn’t even commit?

\

Bianca: You look happy. Let me guess, your egg salad sandwich fell on the floor and they gave it to you for free

Kent: No, can you do that? Why doesn’t everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?

Bianca: I was trying to insult you

Kent: Instead you gave me an amazing life hack

/

Wednesday: What do you mean a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress me out?

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Tyler: I wanna get run over. 

Enid: Oh come on, it’s Christmas! Get in the spirit! 

Tyler: I wanna get run over by a reindeer. 

Enid: …

Enid: Not what I meant, but I’ll take it!

\

Enid: Do you really have to blackmail me?

Wednesday: How do you expect me to get your attention?

Enid: Uh, ask?

Wednesday: And risk judgment and rejection? God no

/

Tyler: I seriously get so embarrassed doing anything. i wear sunglasses when it's sunny and i'm like "this is so humiliating"

Tyler: Walking downhill? embarrassing too. like ooooh look at me doing a little trot like a stupid horse

Enid: are you okay?

Tyler: I wish i was dead

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Tyler: Did Wednesday just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Enid: Yeah, she did.

Tyler: And did I just do finger guns back?

Enid: Yeah, you did.

/

Enid: *calls Tyler*

Tyler, answering the phone: hello?

Enid: i'll call you back later okay?

Enid: *hangs up*

Tyler: ?????

\ 

Enid: [About Wednesday] Look at her with her stupid  straight leg pants and dumb tight fitting button up shirts. 

Enid: I have to have her.

/

Tyler, sweating: Wednesday, there’s something I need to ask you-

Wednesday: Finally! You’re proposing!

Tyler: How’d you know?

Wednesday: Tyler, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Wednesday: I even picked it up once.

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Wednesday: I’m still trying to figure out why you guys are so desperate to hang out with me.

Enid: Because you’re so sweet and funny, duh.

Wednesday: Well, Bianca told me that I’m spiteful and incredibly annoying, so one of you is lying to me.

/

Wednesday, holding a piece of paper: hey, what’s this? 

Tyler: my to-do list. 

Wednesday: it just has my name on it? 

Tyler: …yes. 

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Ajax: I never had a brother, but I know four guys who did. And they would have fights and squabbles, but in the end? They would always have each other’s shells.

Yoko:

Yoko: Are you talking about the Ninja Turtles?

Ajax: Of course I’m talking about the Ninja Turtles!

/

Enid: It looks like you've got a plan. 

Wednesday: Yep. 

Tyler: ...Have you got a plan? 

Wednesday: Nope.

\

Wednesday: I told Enid that her ears turn red when she lies.

Ajax: Do they?

Wednesday: No.

Ajax: Then why did you tell her that?

Wednesday: Because I can do this.

Wednesday: Hey Enid! Do you love us?

Enid, with her hands over her ears: No.

/

Doctor: *holds up a spine model* This is your spine--

Ajax, looking absolutel terrified: Put it back in, what the fuck?

\

Eugene: What would Enid think?

Wednesday: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told her?

\

Wednesday: We're alive!

Enid: Good! 

Enid: Because now… I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! 

/

Enid: Did you know that when you suddenly jerk awake while falling asleep, another version of you from a different timeline just died.

Tyler: No...

Wednesday: It’s actually because your heart rate decreased so quickly that your brain jerks awake to make sure you’re still alive.

Tyler: I don’t know which one is worse!

\

Kent: *Hits Wednesday on the head with a ball*

All of nevermore hours later, trying to coax him down from a tree: It’s ok she’s gone you can come down now -

Kent, still shaking: She’s not gone, she’s waiting.

/

Xavier: Money absolutely does not buy happiness

Bianca: You’re probably just spending it wrong. Give it to me and I’ll show you how it’s done

\

Enid: I’m gonna stop being so nice all the time!

Wednesday: How are you gonna do that?

Enid: Well to start, I ate all your candy last night.

Wednesday: Wow, Enid, that’s so cold I’ll need a sweater.

Enid: I’ll knit you a scarf to apologise. 

/

Kent: Can I have some?

Yoko, blank faced with a mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

\

Kent: You guys, this can't be happening. Maybe we're all in a coma?

Bianca: Together? We're all in a coma together?

/

Enid: Hey, do you wanna get lunch?

Wednesday: Oh, I already ate with Tyler, but what do you want?

Enid: 

Enid: Loyalty. 

\

Wednesday: I am so small and bitter, I’m like a human espresso.

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Okay thats it :0 this one is even longer than the last one so well done if u made it to the end 

#back again with my wednesday Tyler and enid being besties agenda #y'all will never get rid of me #mwhahahahaha #I just think they are neat #anyways #wednesday addams #tyler galpin #enid sinclair #bianca barclay #xavier thorpe #yoko tanaka #everyone else #wednesday netflix #wyler #wenclair #it feels illegal to put those tags next to each other #oh well