#baebaexlaalaa

[thecoughingcat]

Baebae is crying again

#bae bae #baebae #baebaexlaalaa #baebaexlaalaa logo #crybaby #cry baby #cry #sad #Bebe #chibi #self portrait #self portrature #indigiqueer artist #non binary artist #digital art #ottawaart #cute

[thecoughingcat]

I changed my name.

The old one was pretty, but it was lacking authenticity.

I am not really a mysterious individual. I like a good mystery, but I am not a living one. Mystiquexinks allowed me to hide behind a shroud in words. It held everyone at an arms length, keeping my little heart safe from the world and its opinions.

It felt like a shield weighing me down. The word ‘mystique’ will always be a favourite, but it affected how I created. It felt like there was no room for colour in the land of mystery, no room for cutesy little nothings, no room for fun.

I felt trapped by the mystery I created, so in an effort to embrace myself fully - a username change was first.

I cry a lot. A lot, a lot.

Every day or two I cry.

Why? Sometimes for no reason other than I felt low. I cry for everything.

Frustrated- I cry

Angry, I cry

Happy, I cry

Loved, hated, excited, anxious, sad, scared, worried, joyous, euphoric, elated.

I cry for them all.

Cry baby was what I was called often as a young person and child. ‘Bébée lala pleur encore" (translation; cry baby is crying again/more).

I am and always have been emotionally charged, for better or for worse and it’s past time to embrace the truth. I am an emotional machine (thanks marina), a human being, a foolish mortal adjusting to my new normal (qveen Herby).

I am proud to announce myself as baebaexlaalaa ; I am learning to love how emotionally fluid I am. I am learning to love & be proud of myself for exactly who I am. A big ol’ cry baby just tying to do their damnedest & best.