#because buck can't believe eddie did this and eddie didn't tell him and eddie is telling him now

[tenisperfection]

7x04 being from Buck's perspective broke my brain because of the way we saw Eddie through Buck's eyes. Then I realized that Suspicion, where Eddie was shot, was from Eddie's perspective, and all of Surviviors was from Buck's perspective and I want to jump into the ocean.

#the implications...... #we saw eddie's turmoil when carla brought up the follow your heart line #his agony over charlie's abuse #then the shooting and watching his best friend splattered with his blood #that split second where he realized who buck was to him and has been all along #the way he wanted to reach out and touch buck one last time #(do not think about eddie thinking about chris under any circumstances but if you do imagine eddie feeling relieved that buck will be there #and sorrow that he won't be there with chris and won't get to see him grow up and won't get to see buck #and then we have survivors right #we immediately jump to buck's perspective with him getting eddie into the ambulance and eddie asking if buck was hurt *sobs* #and the whole episode is mostly buck's side #but so is the will scene!!!! #because we obviously went nuts over the implications of it #but consider the tone of the scene--there's devotion yes #but most of the tone is that of disbelief #because buck can't believe eddie did this and eddie didn't tell him and eddie is telling him now #and eddie wants buck to carry on for christopher if eddie is gone #and buck absolutely would #but in his mind he can't fathom a world where he has to exist without eddie #and eddie is the one asking him to #hahahahah fuck you don't find it son you make it all over again #buck made this and buck chose this and buck has to live with it #i can't wait for these men to realize/bring to light all the love between them #911 abc #this unraveling on a saturday afternoon is brought to you by insanity

[sleepdeprivedandinsane]

Love You Like I'm Never Gonna Love You Again

Evan 'Buck' Buckley x Fem!Reader

angst with a happy ending

summary: Reader gets shot on a job. When she flatlines on the way to the hospital, Buck is worried she won't make it out alive.

POTENTIAL TW : : mentions of gsw, blood, grief, guns? I think? If there's any I missed or should add lmk! Enjoy 🫡

I only have one thing to say for this... sorry 🥲

It was times like this that Buck wondered why he did what he did. Everyone was silent as they sat at the dinner table. No one bothered to try and say anything, and no one looked up either. They all focused on their polished black shoes, not having the stomach to look up and see her empty chair.

He hears people say, "it all happened so fast," but when the shot rang out and he watched the blood spread on her shirt, everything was in slow motion. The shot echoed in his ears. He was too shocked to scream as her body fell slowly to the ground. Realization hit when he felt her blood on his face, and everyone rushed to her aid. It was like someone shocked him, like he jolted awake from a nightmare. Only, when he woke up, she wasn't better.

"No..." He said. "No, no, no!" He screamed, rushing to her.

Bobby and Eddie held him back as he fought to get to her, Hen and Chim working with shaky hands.

"This can't be happening..." He whimpered.

She looked at him, a weak smile on her bloody face, blood pouring from her wound."It's okay. It'll be okay." She muttered fraily.

She nodded, as if trying to convince herself as well.

"Please- let me go!" He yelled desperately, "please! I need to go to her!" His eyes watered as he begged Bobby and Eddie to let him go.

They, too, were on the verge of tears, trying to hold them back for his sake. It wouldn't have made much of a difference, though. All his focus was on her.

Once they got her loaded into the ambulance, they let him go. He ran to her side and sat down. He took her hand, brushing the stray hairs that fell from her braid away from her eyes. She looked up at him with watery eyes, swallowing thickly because she knew it wasn't good. A bullet wound is supposed to hurt. It isn't good when it doesn't.

"Try not to move, okay?" He said shakily.

She nodded, squeezing his hand to assure him. She felt somewhat guilty that she was even trying when she knew she probably wouldn't make it to the hospital. She couldn't bring herself to lie to him. She couldn't find the words to tell him how much she loved him either.

"You're gonna be okay. You have to be." He said firmly, denial dripping from his tongue.

She shook her head. "No." She whimpered. "I'm not."

He shook his head defiantly. "Don't say that. Say anything but that." He said, his voice cracking.

Hen and Chim had to choke back the words 'she's right' because they themselves didn't want to believe she wasn't going to be okay. They wanted to believe she'd be okay like Buck did.

"Okay." She said. "Then I need to tell you something. Before I don't get the chance. I-" She started.

But he cut her off with a shake of his head. "No, you can tell me when you're better." He said.

They all knew what she was going to say, but no one said anything. Everyone, including each other, knew about their feelings for each other. Y/n was afraid of it all going sour, however, and she didn't have the courage to take the plunge and risk losing her best friend. Evan, he wanted to save them both the heartache in case it didn't last. Mostly himself, if he was honest. He knew they'd come back from it, but it'd never be the same. They didn't want to take that chance, and everyone thought it was stupid. Anyone with eyes could see they were crazy for each other. Absolutely head over heels.

"You can't leave me. Please don't leave me." He said desperately, tears streaming down his blood stained cheeks.

She reached up and wiped away his tears, her hand lingering when he leaned into her. "You'll be okay." She said sadly.

"No." He croaked. "I won't." He shook his head, placing his hand on hers.

"You'll have Maddie, Bobby, Chimney, Hen, Eddie, and Christopher. You'll be okay." She tried to convince him.

"But I won't have you." He whispered. "You can't give up yet. You have to fight." He said defeated.

"I'm so tired." She said weakly. "I'm sorry." She said, struggling to get the words out.

"I know it hurts-" He said, but she cut him off.

"It doesn't. It doesn't hurt." She whispered.

"Please, it's not supposed to end this way, I still need you. We still need you." He said.

She smiled weakly, wiping his tears once more. She gasped, her chest heaving, before she stilled, her eyes going blank. For a moment, her hand remained against his cheek, but he knew she was gone. Her smile faded, her mouth agape as blood spilled from the corners. Her hand fell, and Buck never knew silence could be so loud. The constant beep, the solid line, seemed to taunt them. Hen angrily shut it off. Chimney slowly took his hands from her wound where he attempted to stop the bleeding.

"No." Buck said, getting up and starting cpr.

He wasn't ready to give up on her. Henrietta shut her eyes tightly, fighting back tears of her own. Chimney shook his head, determined to see her smile again. To see them finally happy together. To see her in a white gown as he watched his best friends say their vows. To see little baby Buckleys running around with Jee-yun. He reached into her wound, closing off the source of the bleed. Hen sniffled as she turned the machine back on, the consistent beep sounding again. What was a taunt became motivation to them, and Buck continued to try recesutate her.

"C'mon..." He said. "C'mon!" He yelled desperately.

Tears mixed with the dried blood on his face, but he hardly noticed either. Hen tried not to look because seeing one of her best friends lay lifeless on the gurney, while another desperately tried to bring her back, would be too much. She knew that would break her. Break her faith in the job. She needed to try to remember why she did it instead of seeing a reason not to.

As Chimney ran beside the gurney, Hen filled in the doctors and nurses, but Buck didn't hear. He just heard a ringing in his ears, the gun shot echoing in his head. Her lifeless eyes stared back at him, the blood still spilling from her mouth. It gave him a little hope, though, because if she was totally gone she wouldn't be bleeding... right?

"Sir, we can take it from here." A nurse said, easing Buck from his position above her as he tried to get her heart beating again.

Chim was eased into paper blue covers as they rolled them into surgery.

They hadn't been ushered away yet. They could see nurses starting chest compressions and giving her O2. They could see the doctors gently ease Chim's hand from her wound. They could see the blood pour from the wound as a result. As the minutes droned on and her heart didn't start, he felt his own shatter.

It wasn't quick. It was slow. Painful.

Hen could see her blood spilling onto the floor. Her hope quickly diminished seeing the amount.

Finally, Buck could see her heart re-start and her chest rise, and he released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

Then, Buck finally broke down. He fell to his knees, sobbing. Hen knelt down with him, pulling him into her embrace, but it offered neither of them comfort. Bobby, Eddie, and Athena rushed to them.

Athena's face fell. "She flat lined. Didn't she?" She said sadly, defeated.

Hen nodded weakly. Eddie dropped to his knees, hugging Buck as well.

"I'm gonna get this son of a bitch." Athena growled, storming out of the trauma bay. "Call me when she's out of surgery." She said as she determinedly walked away.

Bobby hung his head, unwillingly letting the tears fall. None of them could bring themselves to leave. None of them wanted to.

It wasn't until Chim finally returned, covered in blood, and said they wouldn't know anything for several more hours.

It took some convincing, but they finally got Buck to leave to finish his shift. But none of them truly left the ER.

Buck had an empty plate in front of him, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. Not when he saw her blank expression every time he closed his eyes.

Their families all came out to support them, the community coming together to put out candles and figures of good luck and healing, hoping and praying for the firefighter and her family and team. Praying for good news. The sight was bittersweet.

Buck couldn't stand the silence. He stood abruptly and left, heading to the locker rooms.

He had to choke back a sob. He didn't want to live without her. He didn't want to love anyone else but her. He didn't want to do this job if she wasn't beside him.

"Evan, you were made to save a life."

His mother's voice rang out in his head.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to sob. He wanted her back.

He missed her smile, he missed her laugh, he missed the stupid jokes she'd tell to cheer everyone up on a hard day. He missed her warm hugs and how she smelled like roses and lillies: her favorite perfume. Her hair always smelled fruity, and her skin was always so soft. He missed her giggles and the way she'd gently caress his face. He wanted her back.

He wanted to hear from the damn hospital. Wanted to hear them say she made it through. It was nearing six hours after the shooting, and it felt like the longest six hours of his life.

He stood in the locker room, leaning against the metal doors of the lockers, his head down. He squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to think of her in any way that wasn't the lifeless look in her eyes. Even if she made it, that sight would haunt his nightmares. He mentally kicked himself for not telling her he loved her sooner. He knew she knew. Hell, everyone else did too. But he needed to know she heard it. And right now, he was praying for any miracle. He was praying that he'd get the chance to tell her, kiss her, hold her, anything.

He screamed and stood, hitting the lockers to try to ease the pain in any way. He punched and punched, angry and distraught and so many other things. He wanted order. He needed something to ground him. Right now, that was the stinging pain in his knuckles. He punched the doors again and again until his fist was as numb as he was inside. He fell to his knees, crying weakly.

Maddie came in, silently sitting next to him on the floor. She didn't try reassuring him that she'd be okay because truth be told, she was terrified too. She also knew nothing she said would help ease his pain. So she simply laid a gentle hand on his cheek, turning his face to her. She smiled softly, pulling his head forward and placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. He leaned on her, laying his head on her shoulder as he sobbed tiredly.

"I just need to know that she's okay." He croaked weakly. "I just need her to be okay." He sobbed.

"Shh," she cooed softly, "I know." She whispered. She held his shoulders, letting her own tears fall.

"I'm not going to lie to you and say it'll be okay. I don't know if she's going to make it, and I won't try to pretend that I do. But I know one thing: she is incredibly strong." She said, pulling him away just enough to look him in the eye.

"She's got a lot of fire left in her, still got a lot of fight left. She doesn't give up easily, and I refuse to believe that this time is going to be any different. She's too stubborn and bull headed to let someone else decide when it's her time to leave. And I have that to hold onto." She said.

He smiled faintly. "Thank you." He whispered. "That helps." He said, nodding as he closed his eyes.

"You need to go home and rest." She said concerned.

He shook his head. "I can't sleep without knowing she's okay." He said defiantly.

Just then, Chimney ran in, Jee on his hip. "It's the hospital." He panted. "They've got news on Y/n." He said.

Maddie and Buck shot up from the floor, running out to the main floor where Bobby was on the phone with the doctor.

"Here they are, I'm putting you on speaker." He said when Maddie and Buck approached.

"I'm relieved to call with good news. Ms Y/l/n made it." He said relieved.

A collection of cheers sounded throughout the firehouse. And for the first time since she was shot, Buck felt all the tension leave his body. "Thank god." He muttered to himself.

"She suffered slight head trauma when she fell, and with the pain medication she's on, she'll probably be out for a while." He said.

"When can we see her?" Hen asked antsy.

"You can come down now if you'd like. Visiting hours are over, but I'll make an exception this time." He said.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Bobby said.

Before he even ended the call, Buck was running to his jeep. He sped to the hospital, probably breaking several traffic laws on the way, but at the moment, he could care less. All he could think was, 'She's alive. She's really alive. She's okay.' In that moment, nothing else mattered to him. She was alive. That's all that he cared about.

He ran up to the receptionist, and as soon as he had her room number, he was running up the stairs.

The elevator might've been quicker, but the burn in his legs and the sharp jab in his gut as he took the stairs two at a time reminded him that he was awake, that it was real. She was really okay.

He saw her through the large window in the wall, the door slightly ajar. All the air left his lungs. He couldn't describe the immense relief any other way.

He rushed to her side, dropping into the chair beside her bed. The back of her gown was open, the bandages peeking through. Before he even registered it, he was tucking the blanket over her exposed skin. He took her hand in his, feeling her warm skin against his. He sighed, leaning his forehead against their intertwined hands. Up until now, he hadn't realized just how tired he was. His face was probably all red and puffy from crying, but he didn't care all that much anymore. He'd hang the moon if it meant she would be okay. He'd hold the sky up for her if it meant he would see her smile again. He didn't care. All that mattered to him was that she was safe.

She groaned, squeezing his hand in hers. "Hey, Buckley." She croaked out with a dry throat.

He smiled, remembering when she would call him that when they first got to know each other. At first, it was because she was bad at remembering names and relied on the name tags. Then, it became a way for her to tease him because she knew he didn't like it. He would always respond with her last name, too, but it was only her and a few other people who were allowed to call him that. The few other people being Hen, Chim, Bobby, and Eddie. And of course, his sister, but she only really did when he was about to be reprimanded for something. Other than that, no one else was allowed to use his full name. She was even allowed to call him Evan, but she only used it when it was just them.

"Hey, Y/l/n." He responded softly. He gently handed her the cup of ice water from the table beside her bed, helping her sit up slightly so she could take a drink. She nodded when she was finished and he set it down.

She smiled at him fondly. "You were right." She said. "Maybe I was being a little dramatic." She joked lightheartedly.

Maybe he wasn't in the mood, but that struck a cord with him. "You weren't being dramatic, Y/n, you flatlined. You almost died." He said seriously.

Her eyes widened and she sat forward slightly. "I- what?" She asked shocked.

His eyes began to water, and his had shook slightly. "You were dead. I thought you were gone. I was so scared." He whispered meekly.

She frowned, pulling his face to hers. She rested her forehead against his, gently wiping his tears away. "Hey, I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." She whispered.

"You almost died. I didn't know what I was going to do if you didn't make it. I wasn't sure I could live with myself." He said softly. "I need you here. I've never loved anyone the way I love you." He admitted. He wasn't too particularly happy with the time and place, but he couldn't wait any longer. He needed to know he told her. He needed to know he said it.

She kissed him deeply, putting everything she was trying to tell him in it. That she was real, and she was alive. She wasn't going anywhere. That she loved him too.

"I love you. God, I've wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared." He said.

"What made you not be scared anymore?" She asked.

"Oh, I'm still scared. I'm scared if we go all in and it ends badly, that I'll lose my best friend and the best thing that's ever happened to me. But seeing you lay lifeless on the gurney scared me way more. I'm still scared, but not as scared as I was when I thought you died." He said.

Her face fell. "Oh, God, you saw me flatline?" She said, a mix of emotions crossing her face. He just nodded sadly.

"I saw through the window. There was so much blood. It's something that's going to haunt my nightmares for the foreseeable future." He said.

She stroked his cheek gently. "You said I could say it when I was better. Can I say it now?" She asked.

He closed his eyes and nodded. "Please."

"I love you, Evan Buckley." She said smiling.

He smiled relieved. She leaned her forehead against his again. "I love you so much." She whispered. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She said, peppering his face with kisses until he finally smiled. "There it is." She said softly.

"I'm never letting you go again." He said, gently pulling her into his chest to hug her, just wanted to hold her for a little while.

"Well, that's good, 'cus I'm never leaving your side." She said, sinking into his embrace.

Eventually, after a grueling 30 minutes of being stuck in traffic due to a pileup, the team finally made it to the hospital, only to find Y/n and Buck asleep.

Y/n lay back, the bed sitting up slightly, but not much. Buck lay right next to her chest, her arm over his shoulders, and their fingers entwined. It looked like they fell asleep talking and watching 'Gone With The Wind' on some channel. They all smiled at the sight, happy to see the two finally relaxed.

Each one took a seat somewhere and eventually fell asleep themselves. They weren't about to leave without giving Y/n a hug and reminding her how much they love her. Besides, they were all exhausted. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. The hospital wasn't the best place to sleep, but they weren't about to leave their youngest member alone in a hospital room, let alone let Buck be there by himself. And maybe it was to make themselves feel better because they were all worried sick about her. Or maybe it was for her and Buck. All they knew: they weren't leaving her alone again.

#angst prompt #writers on tumblr #911 on fox #911 one shot #evan 'buck' buckley #buck x reader #evan buckley x reader #this is some angst angst

[mnnuni]

Marked

Summary: (Y/N)'s relationship with Buck and Eddie is discovered.

Words:

Warnings: smut

Buck and Eddie's relationship was still kinda a secret for the public eye; well kinda because they weren't sure of sharing it yet but they weren't subtle at all with those shared looks and hidden touches. The 118 all knew about them, they were only waiting for them to have the courage to tell them.

The crew of firefighters was so proud of themselves for figuring it out: Hen brought it up one night when they were hanging out at Athena and Bobby's house and the two men conveniently left early together.

"I name it, they're totally involved" Chimney was a little confused, "what do you mean? Of course they are, they're best friends"

Athena smacked him around the head "What Hen means is...", she was thinking of a way of saying it nicely "they get each other steam off" finished Bobby. Hen and Athena nodded, the five different expressions that passed through Chimney's face were hilarious to Maddie "I can't believe you didn't notice".

What they all also didn't notice was that that night there was another person absent: their girlfriend, (Y/N).

She was way more private than them at the station, because she saw how Eddie and Buck acted around each other and let's just say even a blind could catch that they were in love; that's why she was never too close to them to be suspected. When Hen asked her about her romantic life she said "they" and "them", but everyone just assumed it was just a person who would go by these pronouns not that there were actually two people.

(Y/N) also knew that her boyfriends had their fair shares of problems with their closets and she surely wouldn't be the one to out them to their family.

The only 118 member who knew was Ravi. Poor kid caught them exiting the same room, still adjusting their uniform. From that moment (Y/N) avoided every contact with them at work and got closer to Ravi too. He was her true best friend.

"so... what are you doing for them tonight?" Ravi asked her while they were cooking for the team, "huh?" (Y/N) said looking at him from the oven; Ravi looked around, making sure no one was watching them and whispered "you know... today's your anniversary, didn't you do something?"

(Y/N) smiled. Today her, Buck and Eddie were celebrating six months officially together. "I can't believe you remembered" she hugged him tight "of course i did, how could i forget?"

It was funny how Buck was flaring his nostrils at the sign of (Y/N) talking with Ravi while he had his hands on her waist. Eddie had to put his hand on his knee, "you know they're only friends" "still..." he rolled his eyes. (Y/N) was actually describing him the details of the dinner she had planned that night; she was so ecxited to finally go out in public with them. Ravi was really happy for her, so happy that at the end of the shift he went to Buck and Eddie and told them to be careful "she really loves you, both of you, don't screw up tonight"

He knew he only made their nerves worse, but he had to because (Y/N) really deserved the world and he knew those two idiots would give her everything she needed. He was still her best friends tough, it was his job to scare her boyfriends.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Y/N) only texted them the address. "Dress fancy" the sole indication.

Evan stomach was a mess. Eddie was literally sweating. They decided to get ready together; that didn't help them one bit because after getting nearly late for a too long shower together, they were second-guessing everything.

Their anxiety seemed to stop only when they spotted (Y/N) at the bar in the restaurant. She was wearing a long strapless black dress, her hair were down and naturally curled and her lips were tinted red. Buck had to touch Eddie's hand to make sure he wasn't imagining that wonderful woman in front of them. It was the first time Eddie took his hand in his in a so crowded place and just by this (Y/N) knew this would have been a magical night.

They were seated in a corner in the garden, the table was so small that (Y/N)'s legs touched both Eddie and Buck's ones. It was just how she pictured it would be: the light lights illuminated Buck's freackles ever so gently, the roses'perfume made Eddie scrunch his nose in a way that made (Y/N) want to kiss him everytime and the night breeze was a perfect excuse for them to touch her arms or shoulders constantly because of the fact she was withouth a jacket. And it was even better to see Evan and Eddie actually be confortable to act like a couple all together.

Ravi's words really helped.

When Evan put his coat over (Y/N)'s shoulder as she whispered to them "maybe you should come to mine's for dessert", Eddie's eyes sparkled and Buck's hand on her tightned.

Evan didn't drive so fast even in the truck. The air was filled with anticipation but (Y/N) had decided that because this was a special night it would go slow and good. As a matter of fact, when they entered her flat she really had a dessert ready for them and she took it out of the oven swinging her hips ever so slightly.

"Uhm baby, we thought ehm..." Buck looked at Eddie for support while (Y/N) took three forkes "we hoped for another type of cake" the other man finished. (Y/N) chuckled "don't worry my loves, this cake just needs time" she winked and took a bite of the chocolate pastry; she really knew how to turn on her boys.

"Now, eat. I'll come back in five" with that she went to her bedroom and locked the door. Buck and Eddie could only listen to her and wait. They were under the impression she took more than five minutes because when she came back they finished half the cake and were now kissing on the couch, Eddie said he missed Buck's lips and he surely couldn't deny them to him. They already took off their jacket and were starting to unbutton their shirt when (Y/N) cleared her throat and they departed from each other; she was wearing a silky robe and a devious grin on her face. (Y/N) didn't say anything, only took their hands and guided them in the bedroom.

"Because you were so good tonight accepting to go out with me, I want to make it up to you" and with that she took a rope from the pocket of the robe. The guys were having the time of their lives while she tied them to the headboard, she put them in a way they could touch each other's hands, like a way to compensate the fact they couldn't touch her. When she was done (Y/N) finally took off her robe.

"Holy shit" Buck breathed out.

She was wearing a red lace bodysuit and garters and with only this sight Eddie and Evan tried to untie themselves. "I'm a firefighter baby, don't even try", Buck's cock twitched in his boxers. (Y/N) got them naked painfully slow and Eddie started to complain; that's why she started working on Evan first.

She kissed him softly on the lips and got down from the neck to the waist licking him, his breath became heavier when she stopped, eyes on his tip. She kissed it too and then put it in her mouth.

"Oh God". Evan really liked when she worked her magic on him this slowly; Eddie next to him could only focus on her ass and be satisfied but when her hand touched his leg and started going near his balls he grunted. (Y/N) smirked on Evan's cock and he pushed his hips up. She was bobbing her head up and down faster and stroking Eddie's dick too, so fast they were both moaning.

"I-I'm cuming" Evan was practically a mess.

"Come on big boy, you're doing so good"

Hearing Eddie praise him was the last straw; Evan came so hard it made (Y/N) even wetter. When she was done sucking all his cum (Y/N) got up "you're soo good baby" she caressed Buck's cheeck and turned to Eddie "want a taste?", he nodded excited. Buck was trying to catch his breath while (Y/N) straddled Eddie's lap to kiss him. She tasted of Buck. (Y/N) lowered herself on him and Eddie moaned in the kiss at the feeling of his girlfriend pussy on him.

"It's your turn to fell good now honey"

(Y/N) unzipped her bodysuit at a slow pace and while she cupped one of her breast for show, she finished getting undressed. Buck was quickly recovering already.

She lowered her body on Eddie and started grinding her hips to lube his cock with her wetness; when she picked his dick in her hand and came down on it Eddie almost cried out loud. Usually Buck was the loudest, maybe she teased him too much this time. (Y/N) didn't complain tough, hearing her boyfriends moan only added fuel to the fire. Now she was breathing heavily too and really needed their hands on her body, so she leaned over and untied them.

Eddie didn't waste a second and flipped them over to start thrusting into her, "You feel so good mi amor".

(Y/N) tightened her legs to his hips as Buck got in between them to touch her clit. Now (Y/N) was the loudest; she tried to be quite but the stimulation was just too much that she gripped both her boyfriends' shoulder and scratched them. This only made them move faster.

"Come on baby, be a good girl for us"

She whined their names.

"So fucking tight hermosa"

Buck was sucking on her tit while he pinched her clit and made her scream.

It was the best orgasm she ever had, because when she came down her high she felt Eddie's cum on her stomach and it was so fucking hot.

When they got her all cleaned up and ready for sleep -after other two rounds-, (Y/N) told them how grateful she was to have them loving her and kissed them goodnight and Buck and Eddie felt the luckiest guys in the whole world.

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The next day (Y/N) was the happiest she ever was in at least two weeks (Buck cooked breakfast for her and Eddie made her bag for her) and all the station noticed. Also because she wasn't complaining about anything after one of the most tiring calls of all day;

They were changing in the locker room and Ravi approached her "I'm guessing it went well", she smiled only thinking about it "marvellous" (Y/N) answer.

"What went so good?" asked Hen as she got near them too, "little (Y/N) here had a date"

One of these days she would kill Ravi

"Oh you didn't go out in a while..." intruded Chimney, 'cause of course he would be there too.

"Yeah, that's because it was a special night" she was lost in her locker when Hen spoke again.

"They had a special night too"

"damn"

The confusion on (Y/N)'s face soon washed over when she turned around and understood what they were talking about: at the other side of the room Buck and Eddie were changing their shirt and were unconsciously showing off some big scratches on their back. (Y/N)'s scratches from last night. They were so red and so much; how couldn't they notice?

Then it hit her: they were practically identical, everyone would have known they were from the same person.

At this point every bit of dignity already left (Y/N)'s body when she run off to them.

"put a shirt on, now." She hissed.

Buck was so confused...then he looked at Eddie

"hooly shit". He was fast to cover himself up and Eddie followed him even if he didn't understand yet.

"i May or May not have left some...marks" she tried to say it in the gentlest of ways but the damage was already done.

All of their team was watching them.

-------------------------------------------------------

Ravi thought dinner would have been awkward; he was absolutely fucking right.

Buck, Eddie and (Y/N) were avoiding eye contact with everyone. Hen was waiting for an explanation with a smirk on her lips. Bobby was searching words for a reassuring speech after the inevitable talk, and Chimney was so fucking confused that at some point he bursted "Can somebody talk about it, please?"

(Y/N) looked at Eddie and Buck for permission, if they weren't ready she would have had come up with a lie without questions. They deserved to be out when they felt like it.

But Eddie took Buck's hand in his and started talking "we're together."

Evan felt a rock being left off his stomach, so he then took (Y/N)'s hand and continued "all three of us".

She only smiled at them.

There was a minute of silence when they thought they had made a big mistake, and everything was starting to crumble. But again, Hen spoke "fucking finally"

"Y-you knew?" (Y/N) had to start draw circles on Buck's hand.

"Of you and Eddie? Of course! (Y/N) is... A pleasant surprise" she blushed at this.

"so...you're okay with this?" Eddie was the one to ask the question they feared the most. It was obvious to (Y/N) that the 118 wouldn't have said anything but for two newly queer men... She understood the uncertainty.

"Why wouldn't we?" Chimney answered

"Yeah, you're all happy, that's what matters to us" Bobby finished.

There was another moment of silence after, where everyone was accommodating to the news.

Ravi saw the perfect opportunity to say what he wanted to say for months now: "I knew it first!"

#evan buckley x eddie diaz x reader #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley #eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz #911 #911 imagine

[buddiebeginz]

I can't believe there are people who are still worried about Tommy/Buck or Buddie not happening. Buck was literally talking about Eddie seconds before Tommy kissed him

Also think about the exact dialogue that was exchanged right before the kiss went down:

Buck: "Cause trying to get your attention has been kind of exhausting"

Tommy: "My Attention?"

Buck: "Yeah I guess so. I mean I did maim my best friend."

This makes me feel like Tommy has already clocked into something going on between Eddie and Buck. Maybe when he's been with Eddie all Eddie did was talk about Buck. Remember when Tommy was talking to Buck near the helicopter and Buck mentioned Eddie was in the army and I think Tommy said, yeah you said that. Buck had probably been bringing up Eddie a lot. I feel like Eddie was probably doing the same thing. I also think Tommy was interested in Buck early on but then probably wasn't sure if he was into men or what the deal with him and Eddie was. He also probably didn't think Buck was interested because Buck always only had heart eyes for Eddie. I mean look at what happened when Eddie showed up.

So then you have Buck telling Tommy that he's been trying to get his attention and when Tommy questions that because I'm sure when he saw how Buck was acting at the basketball court he thought it was something between him and Eddie.

But Buck's response isn't yeah I like you or some other variation it's I guess so. He's unsure. Which is definitely okay when you're still figuring things out but the telling part to me is that he immediately brings up Eddie again. They literally talk about Eddie multiple times while Tommy is there.

I do think Buck is attracted to Tommy but I think a lot of the intense stuff he's actually feeling is about Eddie. I don't think Buck has realized yet just how deep his feelings for Eddie go but I think him realizing he's into guys will force him to examine his relationship with Eddie to some degree.

As for Tommy I think right now it's easier in some ways for Buck to explore this part of himself with someone who doesn't know him as well and where there are less emotional risks. Ultimately everything is pointing the direction of Buddie. Besides Tim is not going to let a character like Eddie just languish in a nothing ship like he's doing with Marisol. I can already feel that abc and Tim have big plans for Buddie that they've set into motion. I'm not crazy about seeing Buck with anyone besides Eddie either but if it means we get to see Buck exploring his bisexuality and bonus we get Buddie down the line too I'm all for it.

#911 spoilers #911 7x04 #buddie #buddie s7 #911! #b*ck t*mmy for bl

[supercap2319]

Eddie Diaz and you being enemies until you push his buttons to far one day and he pushes you up against the wall and kisses you

You disliked Eddie ever since he joined your team at station 118. Everyone else seemed to think he was this sexy guy, but you and Buck knew better than to fall for the charms of some pretty boy. Bobby warned you both to play with Eddie, and eventually Bucky and Eddie made a pact to have each other's backs. You couldn't believe it. You were alone in your hate war against Edmundo Diaz.

You weren't sure why you hated him. Maybe it's because everyone was treating him like this hotshot grad superstar, and you like you didn't exist. You may be young, but you worked hard to be a productive member of this team, and you'll be damned if you let Eddie upstage.

You competed in everything. In lifting weights. Selfies. Charity calendars. Even to get the best seat in the fire truck. Hen, Chimney, Buck, and Bobby all thought the reason you hated Eddie was because you had a crush on him. Much to your disgust as they'd often tease you both. Saying you should relieve all that sexual tension and just bang each other's brains out.

You couldn't imagine doing anything with your enemy, but one faithful day changed it all.

You were both late getting out of the station as you needed a much needed shower after rescuing a family from their burning apartment. And unfortunately, so did Eddie. You both got into the spacious shower stall and just washed all the grime and soot off your bodies. "You know, Y/N. You were a little slow with your rescuing tonight. I think it'd be better if you let me and Buck handle it next time. We work better together." Eddie said, scrubbing his hair.

You frowned. Who did this asshole think he was telling you what to do. "Thanks for the advice, but I don't think we need you and your boyfriend screwing up a stressful situation because you're both too busy eye fucking each other."

Eddie turned to you. "Excuse me? Buck is not my boyfriend. I don't know what gave you that impression, but kill it now."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't know you were offended. I can't believe I offended the perfect and smooth Edmundo Diaz." You spat.

"Hey, no one calls me 'Edmundo' except my family. So, knock it off now. What's your problem?"

"You. You're my fucking problem. You think you can come in here pretty boy and tell me what to do? I don't care who you think you are. You're not my boss."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "What are we five? Grow up, Y/N."

"Fuck you, Edmundo. You...you..." You had no idea what to call him.

"What? Spit it out, kid." Eddie smirked.

"You... Cocksucker!"

You watched as Eddie's face morphed into shock, surprise, and anger. All in one go. "What did you call me?" His voice was low and dangerous. Even though you were kind of scared of that tone, you held your ground. "You heard me you cock–"

Eddie slammed you against the shower wall and when you thought he was going to pound the shit out of you with his fists, you were surprised when he kissed you on the lips.

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #9 1 1 #911 x reader #eddie diaz #eddie diaz x reader #Eddie Diaz x male reader #edmundo diaz #edmundo eddie diaz #ryan guzman #Ryan Guzman x male reader

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie and Thomas & Mitchell: Wardrobe Parallels

Some of the clothes Buck and Eddie wore in 7x1 "Abandon 'Ships" parallel with some of the clothes Thomas and Mitchell wore in 2x8 "Buck Actually". Reminder, the ages Thomas and Mitchell were during Thomas' flashbacks parallel with the ages Buck and Eddie are now👀.

I've completed two other posts on the parallels between Buck & Eddie and Thomas & Mitchell (linked here and here) but the more parallels I find, I've come to realize the show has ALWAYS been paralleling them since 2x8 aired. And it's not just one thing, it's multiple things like their clothes, their ages, their height differences, the one who always drives (Mitchell and Buck) along with the way they look at and touch each other. Also, after Bobby taught Buck how to step into a relationship in season 1 (which didn't work on AC by the way) it appears Thomas was the one to tell Buck about true love more than a year before he learned about not solely dedicating himself to the LAFD (Red) and four years before he was told not to live his life like everyone else or it'll go by in a blur during the happiness convention (Lev) because he had ALREADY MET the person (EDDIE) weeks earlier that he is going to spend the rest of his life with.

Back to the regularly scheduled program...

Before 7x1 aired, TM (showrunner) released the above still and I posted about the ugly ass shirt Buck was wearing (linked here) but I also noticed the jean shirt Eddie was wearing and I wondered why he was wearing it because IIRC, Eddie hasn't worn a jean shirt since 3x3 after the Tsunami.

After I watched 7x1, I found so many parallels, callbacks, hindsight and foreshadowing and to this day, I'm still finding more that pertain specifically to Buck and Eddie that I plan to blog about but today, I remembered the other person I saw wearing a jean shirt similar to the one Eddie wore in 7x1 and it was Mitchell in 2x8 when he rolled up on Thomas at the club 🤪😜💕. It was the night they met and if you haven't seen 2x8, you should watch it because IMO, it gave the audience a glimpse into Buck and Eddie's future as a romantic couple.

I have to admit Eddie wearing a jean shirt was JARRING because he usually wears softer fabrics for his shirts like when he wears Henley's, button-downs and t-shirts so there's that. Also, the fabric looked rough and coarse, so I tried to figure out why he was wearing it in the first place but I digress (I'm going to do a separate post on why I believe he was wearing it the same way I posted about the plaid suit he wore in 6x13 and the plaid flannel shirt he wore in 6x18 (post linked here).

In addition to Eddie's jean shirt, Buck's multi-colored checkerboard whatever the "F" ugly ass button-down shirt/ jacket he wore has the same colors (white, blue, yellow/brown) as the shirt Thomas wore in 2x8 after he locked eyes with Mitchell from across the room while he was sitting at the bar.

Reminder, Eddie put his hand on Buck's shoulder in 3x3 (when he was wearing a jean shirt) the same way he did in 7x1 🤪😜🤪.

There are other similarities in the clothes they wore but they were more so for Buck.

Since he's worn different variations of the infamous striped shirt he wore during the shooting, when I saw Thomas wearing a similar one, I had to look them up.

During one of Thomas' flashbacks, he was wearing a shirt that's practically identical to the one Buck will be wearing in a future episode in season 7 (I can't remember when OS posted the picture below but IIRC, they were filming 7x5). Now since the photo of him and Brenna Malloy is in black and white, it's difficult to tell what color the stripes in his shirt are but the size of them are practically identical to the ones in Thomas' shirt. Reminder, Thomas wore his shirt when he took a selfie with Mitchell on their Polaroid camera right after they bought their home in the Hollywood Hills.

Additionally, later in 7x1 when Buck went to talk to Chris about being a player, he was wearing his "looking for answers" uniform but his shirt was the same color as a shirt Mitchell wore after him and Thomas got married and they were celebrating Mitchell's birthday.

IMO, it's safe to say 9-1-1 doesn't do anything on accident and it appears every word that's said and every piece of clothing the characters wear are done on purpose. Therefore, since they've been paralleling Buck and Eddie with Thomas and Mitchell for 6 years, the question is, what does it all mean? CANON Buddie... maybe??? Hopefully???

Reminder, Buck was the one who saw the pictures of Thomas and Mitchell that fell out of Thomas' "Love, Life & Adventures" photo album (post linked here) and he was also the one Thomas told, "You don't find it son, you make it!" and isn't that what Buck and Eddie have been doing for 6 years, making it?

That's love! (post linked here).

Will Buck and Eddie FINALLY become a CANON couple in season 7 or will the show keep delaying the inevitable by shoehorning one-dimensional love interests in and keep wasting screen time? Only the showrunners, writers, actors and producers know the answer to that question.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buckley diaz family #the buckley diaz family #911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #911 spoilers #911 speculation #911 meta

[bucksdaffy]

okay, so i've seen some people claim that tim minear is an avid buddie shipper and that he's slowly but surely laying the groundwork for buck and eddie to become canon in the future and...

i'm just thoroughly confused about this assertion.

i'll preface this by saying i'm very new to the fandom, so i'm prepared to be wrong about this. i'm aware i may lack crucial context because i've been here only so long. also, i don't know tim personally, so i obviously can't speak to his true intentions, but i'll make my case anyway.

i'll cite two RECENT comments by tim that i assume people might draw this conclusion from:

1. [?: There is a sect of the fandom that just wants 9-1-1 to be the Buck and Eddie show, and any cut that removes a second of them is going to get the same reaction. Nothing short of renaming the show "Christopher's Two Dads" is going to make them happy.] T: I totally get that. I even appreciate it. Which explains the entire first act of last night's episode. I kind of did for the Buck/Eddie fans (I mean I really do it for myself in the end). I just thought... they'd like it? Shrug. I liked it, so whatever.

2. Minear tells Rolling Stone that he hasn’t just been aware of fan reactions, he’s actually changed storylines in the past to avoid being accused of queerbaiting. But rather than help, he says it made the show worse. “Nobody wants to be accused of queerbaiting so I kind of stopped writing those characters together. And I think it hurt the show because I was so afraid to be accused of something that I wasn’t going where I would naturally go with the stories,” Minear says. “I just decided that I just have to write the thing that I think is right. I just have to be honest with the story I’m telling and let the chips fall where they may.”

now, i may be biased, but this doesn't read to me like he plans on buddie endgame at all.

while it's clear he loves the bond between buck and eddie and enjoys highlighting it in the show, saying he totally wants them to end up together feels like a reach.

he discusses being accused of queerbaiting in the past, which led him to backtrack a little and stop writing buck and eddie together. how does this suggest he did it because he wants buddie to become canon? if that were his intention he could have continued to drop more (apparent!) hints that buck and eddie may love each other in a non-platonic way. he wouldn't care about the accusations of queerbaiting so much, because he would be planning to make them canon all along. sure, there are external constraints that could prevent this from ever materializing, but that doesn't mean he couldn't write the dialogue in a clearly ambiguous way so that once he gets a pass and everyone else involved is on board with it, he could confirm that "yeah, you were right; it was a good ol' friends-to-lovers slow burn trope all along. congrats!!" no. instead he backtracked because he didn't want anyone to think he was writing buddie as anything other than a platonic relationship. that's it. but he eventually realized it doesn't really matter because people are going to think what they want to think regardless. and he obviously loves buck and eddie's friendship so he might as well just make the most out of it at this point. and if he ever feels like maybe it is a good time to turn their friendship into something more because it feels right for story, he'll go for it. but if not, he won't.

i see a lot of people claim buddie is a six-season-long slow burn, being carefully crafted right now for future canonization. and they say tim basically confirmed this. but i really can't see his comments being a confirmation of the sort.

if there are any quotes i'm missing that suggest otherwise, i would love to go through them. so if anyone's aware of any, please don't hesitate to hit me up.

but at the moment i believe y'all are just setting yourselves up for disappointment.

#i'm half asleep writing this #i don't even know if this makes sense #anyway #i'm open to discussion #if anyone has any thoughts on this i'll happily read through them #bucktommy #not tagging the other ship for reasons #evan buckley #tim minear

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, but I kinda wanna talk about the panic attack conversation with new context, because here's the thing, the wording of that conversation is very on purpose. And Buck is calling Eddie out in a very specific way because what Buck is saying is actually "if you love me you're not going to do that to her" but like, everything about that conversation is crazy. Buck is checking in in a way I feel he's very entitled to considering that he gets Chris if something happens to Eddie, so if Eddie is seeing cardiologists, something might be wrong and I think Eddie gave up the right to privacy about his health when he signed his will, but like, does Buck assume the problem is the shooting because he is still anxious about it? And like, Buck is assuming things are fine with Ana, we have no reason to believe things aren't fine with Taylor, but you don't talk about a relationship you want to be in as just fine, and Buck is talking about loving someone who doesn't love him enough to be all the way in and he's talking about Abby, but is he? The will reveal was a love confession. But halfway done. It was a shield. Eddie hiding behind Chris. "My kid loves her" "Is that enough?". Is Buck saying your kid loves me. You offered him to me. What does it mean? Is that all it takes? If that's all it takes then why aren't you all the way in with me? Why does all I get is a maybe under a condition I can't live with? "Somehow we became a ready made family and I don't know if I'm ready for that" Buck has been taking care of Chris since he found out Chris existed. Someone assumed Eddie, Chris and Buck were a family months into them knowing each other. Is Buck seeing that as Eddie being scared of any type of family? Is Buck seeing that as Eddie being scared of his place in Chris' life? Does he think Eddie would freak out if it was him? That's pretty much the only situation where we see Buck seem genuinely mad at Eddie. Eddie confessed his love hiding behind his child, now he's having all these feelings about someone assuming Ana's place in their life. Is Buck feeling as rejected there because he has no way of knowing if Eddie wouldn't react like that if someone assumed that about them? Because the will is a love confession but is one that Buck can't accept. In his head that is conditional. And the price is something he will never be willing to pay. "If you don't want to hurt Ana, you owe it to her to be honest" "come on, Eddie, if you're not gonna be honest with Frank, at least be honest with me", "look, man, you don't need to pretend with me" was Buck begging for clarification? Was Buck asking if he's allowed to want this? Has Buck been daring Eddie to say it again because he doesn't know if he read what happened right since Eddie didn't mention it again and he can't risk being wrong? Is the miscommunication of this situation even deeper than we imagined? Did Eddie assume Buck rejected what he offered while Buck assumed Eddie didn't love him enough to offer everything? Does Eddie understand that while he offered everything, he put a condition to it that Buck will never take because Buck needs him too much to even consider? Does Eddie understand that he offered Buck everything he ever wanted and put it just out of his reach in a place Buck would never dare to reach for anyway, because he thinks the only way he gets there is if Eddie dies and Eddie dying means he's not actually getting everything he wanted? I wrote in a fic once "I can't ask for more of you, Eddie" "everything is already yours", but do they even realize that that's what's going on? That they are imagining obstacles that could be solved if they were just honest with each other the way they keep begging the other to be? Do they even understand that the only thing between them is the way they keep assuming things and acting on that assumption instead of just asking for clarification? "You don't need to decide right now" does Buck think that Eddie not telling him again means he made a decision already? Are they just looking at each other thinking they can't reach for it????????

Are they just trapped in the moment that gun went off watching the other fall away and helpless to do anything about it??????

#im gonna go crazy #911 #thoughts thoughts thoughts #buddie #buddie thoughts

[bellabrady]

congrats on being correct about tommy. i was willing to give the buck/tommy storyline a chance and wait and see on further character development, and 7x05 killed that dead. i can't believe most of the fandom are still fawning over the guy who reacted to buck's panic at the date-crashing by making a snarky joke about closets in front of buck's bff and work partner who tommy knows for a fact buck is not out to....after just having admitted that he was closeted at work - the same workplace in fact! - for ages because it was 'regressive' aka 'not safe to be out.' if he actually cared about whether buck was 'ready' he wouldn't have done that. it was AT BEST a dig designed to make buck even more uncomfortable/feel even worse for panicking, which is already a shitty way to treat someone you supposedly like enough to ask on a date.

yup, exactly.

like, did buck overcorrect with what he said to eddie? obviously. but it was also very clear beforehand that buck was still extremely awkward about his sexuality and tommy was fine with that and then suddenly he wasn't anymore just because buck made an idiot of himself for a few seconds? like, excuse him for not knowing how to handle his best friend walking in on his first date with a guy while he's still closeted. it's not like buck was expecting that to happen.

and the whole 'i just didn't wanna pressure you' thing is such bullshit because that is not what tommy's face or tone was saying. he literally called an uber for himself before even talking to buck and then just...left buck there on the sidewalk? you couldn't have called an uber for him too, at the very least? maybe been a bit more gentle with him and given him a chance to tell you what he wants?

he acted like a complete dick and i'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks so.

i'm also not a fan of the fact that once again they're repeating the whole 'buck's love interest runs away and then comes back' thing. they did it with taylor and then with natalia and now tommy. can you just let the guy be with someone who doesn't run away at the first sign of trouble?

#evan buckley #911 fox #abc #eddie diaz #buddie #anti tommy kinard #anti bucktommy #9-1-1

[junkiefox]

An episode where we are shown Eddie's childhood and it's shown that he had a boy crush and didn't understand it.

Then he met Shannon and everything was perfect: she was pretty, smart, and cute, and why wouldn't he fall in love with her? He should love her, so he does, and that's enough to him to believe that this "boy crush" was something he made up.

But then he's at war, and there's this teammate who's brave and strong, and Eddie feels light when they talk. He can almost forget where they are. And yeah, that might be admiration, right? Because there's no way that was any type of love. No, it couldn't. They are both men and they are in a military camp and it doesn't make sense because Eddie doesn't like men okay?

So when this guy is relocated and Eddie doesn't have any more information about him (is he alive? Is he hurt? Does he miss me?), he doesn't understand why it hurts.

So he's back home, and Shannon is screaming and he's screaming. His home feels like a minefield, and he hates it. Because they should be fine now, they should be the perfect couple with a loving child and everything should be perfect. But his mind is screaming at him, home doesn't feel like home, and he needs a love he can't get or feel. Why did he feel so safe at war with that teammate but could feel the same with his fucking wife?

When Shannon leaves, Eddie understands. He's just mad because she left Chris. But he knows she could tell he doesn't love her anymore, not the romantic love she wants.

Eventually, there's Evan "Buck" Buckley. They don't get along at first, but that lasts a shift, and the next one they are already bumping shoulders and making jokes. When the earthquake comes, Buck is the one who tries to reassure him his kid is fine and safe. And the one who notices how he's trembling after the shift so "Can I drive you to take your kid?" and he talks with Chris the whole drive.

He doesn't know when it hits him: Buck means safety to him. Where Buck is, Eddie is safe, and loved, and his mind shuts up.

Even when Shannon comes back and his mind is racing with anxiety, Buck is kind and listens to him, and it calms him.

There's that feeling again, the one he doesn't understand, but does he need to? Buck's there, he isn't going anywhere. And they love each other so much (and Eddie doesn't want to think much about it. About the kind of love, because this is enough, this safety is enough)

Buck loves his child, Buck is always there to listen and take care of him and Eddie aches. But it's nothing because Buck's there. They are happy and why should he ruin everything for a feeling he doesn't understand?

And even when they date other people, the feeling and they continue the same. "You're attached to the hip," says he's Abuela. And yeah, maybe? But that's okay because friendship comes first. Right?

If he gets annoyed by Buck's girlfriends or he gets stressed by his, that's not linked (why would it be? Buck's girlfriends are hurting him and he is just... he's not ready to date, he doesn't want to date)

And then Buck is dating Tommy... and they continue the same. They are friends, they come first, Tommy is kind to Buck, Buck adores him, and Eddie gets so fucking annoyed by Tommy. Tommy, the one he was going out and playing basketball with, and he doesn't understand again. He's tired of not understanding.

He's tired of not knowing why his heart aches when he sees Buck smile, talking with Chris, being kind to their patients, rumbling random facts, aching whenever Buck's next to him, actually.

He's tired of not understanding himself.

#eddie diaz #i want to get into his brain #evan buck buckely #buck buckley #buddie #tommy kinard #911onfox #911 on abc #buddie fic #buddie hc #Eddie Diaz hc #yes I love repetition as a writing method sorry #911 fic #buddie 911 #shannon diaz

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

So, my darling @spaceprincessem and I were losing our minds about the shooting conversation and future possibilities and then this happened. I am sorry. I blame Em 😉😘

"For fuck’s sake, I know what your blood tastes like, Eddie!"

Eddie stumbles back as if struck. The words split through him harder than any bullet ever could.

Buck’s chest heaves as he pants, his eyes glazed over as if completely lost in the memory. "I had your blood all over me. Searing into my skin. Settling along my tongue. And all I could think was 'No, this can't be the only taste of him I'll ever have' and 'I'll bear this taste for the rest of my life if you just let him live.'" He shakes his head as tears spill down his face. A laugh breaks free from him, broken and brittle and bitter. "Praying to a God I don't even believe in. All for you."

Eddie doesn't bother to fight against his own tears. They blaze hot trails down his face, burning like the fiery splash of blood that painted Buck’s face that day.

Eddie remembers. Of course he remembers.

How could he forget the moment everything changed? How could he forget the moment a piece of metal tore through his skin and forced all of his love to explode out of him in a flood of red?

"I prayed too," Eddie whispers. "I prayed that I'd live long enough to look in your eyes again. I prayed that somehow, you'd feel my love as it stained your face."

Buck’s expression shutters and a visible tremor runs through his body. "W-what?" Blue blue blue eyes bore into him, vast and bright, a shining beacon of light that sears into Eddie’s soul.

Eddie furiously wipes away his tears and even though this isn't how he wanted to do this, he is helpless to stop the confession from finally falling off his lips. "That was the moment I knew, Buck. That moment, as searing pain ricocheted throughout my body, I realized how in love with you I was. I am."

Buck gapes at him, his mouth opening and closing. Fear and awe and pain and hope all blaze across his face. A face Eddie knows better than his own. A face beautifully carved and wonderfully soft and bright. A face he has seen ravaged by devastation and grief, glowing with happiness and love, twisted in confusion and anger, peaceful in sleep and quiet moments spent at Eddie’s side.

It all makes it so incredibly easy for Eddie to keep going. He might as well tell Buck everything now. "I held it back for so long, because-" he grapples with the words, unsure of how to properly express it but more than willing to try for Buck. He deserves it. He deserves to hear how loved he is. "Because it's so overwhelming and powerful and fucking effervescent and I didn't know what to do with it. And things kept going wrong and I lost my fucking mind, but you were there. Always there, making me feel important and loved even when I was at my lowest. And then I thought maybe, maybe we could be ready. Then fucking lightning struck."

A sob threatens to tear out of his throat. He can feel it building and breaking, cutting at the flesh of his throat like glass, but he can't let it out. Not yet.

"You died, Buck." The first time he had said the words, they were hushed and gentle, meant for Buck and not himself, but now-now they tear through the air and splatter at their feet, harsh and rough and soaked in the still lingering despair that clutches tightly at his chest some nights.

"Eddie-" Buck steps forward, reaching out for Eddie but Eddie holds up a hand to stop him.

Not yet. Not yet.

"You died and so did I. Those minutes you were gone I was a ghost, hollow and incorporeal and drowning in grief. I vowed to myself that if we got you back then I'd tell you how I felt because every day that you go without knowing how deeply and irrevocably in love with you I am is torture."

"But you didn't," Buck says, voice cracking. "You didn't tell me."

Eddie huffs and looks away. "No. I-I got scared and then you admitted to me that you were struggling and I couldn't put all of that on you. It wouldn't have been fair."

Buck steps toward him, the bulk of him closing around Eddie and caging him against the counter, wrapping Eddie in softness and warmth and strength. "And now?"

A ragged sigh escapes Eddie's lips as he reached up a shaking hand and cups Buck’s cheek. "There’s so much we need to talk about, Buck. I couldn't bear to rush into anything with you and fuck this up. I need you in my life, okay? You're my best friend, my partner, my fucking co-parent, and I. Cannot. Lose. You."

Something between a whine and sob crawls out of Buck's chest and it vibrates in the air between them. Buck nuzzles into his hand and the wet, sticky residue of his tears smears across Eddie's palm.

"You're right," Buck says. "I-I need to get better. For the both of us."

Eddie brings up his other hand so he is cradling Buck’s face and waits until those blue eyes meet his. "I love you," Eddie declares. "I love all of you, every wonderful and horrible piece, and I can wait until you're ready."

Buck exhales shakily and nudges forward until he can rest his forehead against Eddie’s. "I love you, too."

They stay like that, pressed against each other, sharing sweet, sacred, life-giving breaths until the tears and tremors subside.

#buddie #buddie ficlet #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #911 fox #spec fic #sort of #i am so unwell about everything from monday's episode and i cant be held responsible #ryan writes

[groupielove21]

If I could pick a storyline from any other show for Eddie and Buck, I always thought they would be exactly like April and Jackson from Grey's Anatomy in Season 9, episode 24 and season 10, episodes 1 - 2: The storm (and even more so now that Tommy's here).

Imagine what it would be like to have Buck helping people, thinking that Edddie is now safe from the burning bus, that everything is okay, only to realize that Eddie is nowhere to be found, that he didn't follow him.

And then everything explodes.

And Buck goes crazy, he wants to get closer to the bus, he wants to run towards the flames but Tommy's hands stop him while he tells him to calm down and that he's sorry, but Buck doesn't want to hear any of that because...no, he just doesn't.

Eddie Diaz can't have abandoned him.

And suddenly, Eddie appears in the flames, with a little girl in his arms who is crying and flailing, but Eddie doesn't seem to feel it.

And he walks past Tommy and Buck without even giving them a glance when Buck can't take his eyes off him, because just a few seconds were enough for him to know that he couldn't stand living in a world without Eddie.

And then, while they're treating Eddie at the hospital, Buck comes into the room, completely angry, yelling that Eddie is an asshole, how can he do that to the team, to Christopher, to Buck.

How dare he almost die and leave them?

And Eddie doesn't say anything, because for months Buck no longer feeled like his best friend, because he left him aside thanks to his new relationship with Tommy and they don't even see each other outside of work anymore. So it's only when Buck can't seem to stop screaming and pacing around the room that Eddie gets tired and says "Buck, you have a boyfriend, I'm not your partner anymore, you shouldn't worry about me and Christopher."

Buck brakes, almost as if he had been hit, and, still angry, tells him "I'm not going to have a boyfriend if you give me a reason not to have him anymore."

And Eddie just...he doesn’t believe Buck.

(Then they fix everything or not, and Eddie has to crash Buck and Tommy's wedding exactly like Jackson did with April lol)

#911 abc #911 thoughts #911 theories #911 fanfic #911 show #buddie 911 #911 buddie #911 buck #911 eddie #911 evan buckley #911 tommy #911 #evan buckley x eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #edmundo eddie diaz #tommy kinard #greys anatomy #japril

[leandra-winchester]

So. There's been a lot of speculation, and a lot of hot and lukewarm and some honest and valid takes about the new trailer and the potential of what might go down next ep.

I've been thinking thoughts, and I have my own personal stance on the matter. And no, I will not be 'taking criticism', because this is the way I view things in general, and it won't change. So this isn't me opening up a debate about this, this is just me sharing my personal views, which you absolutely can agree or disagree with. (So if your views on cheating are vastly different from mine, don't come at me telling me how wrong I am, I'm not doing that at you either)

That being said, here are my thoughts and beliefs.

Kissing isn't (automatically) cheating. For me, it highly, highly depends on the accompanying circumstances. There are kisses for shits and giggles that are not cheating. There are kisses happening under heavy influence of whatever substance - something that can render you legally not responsible for a lot of things, so how does it make you responsible for a moment's poor choice? There are kisses that are done deliberately with intention and feelings/high physical attraction involved, and THAT is cheating. When we look at the Buck/Lucy kiss, I didn't see it as huge a deal as many of the fandom did. The kiss itself somewhat fell into the second category. But what made it at the very least borderline cheating was the fact that Buck made a secret of it afterwards. Had he said "Look, something happened last night. I was drunk, then Lucy kissed me, and I didn't instantly pull back, but I didn't want to kiss her again or anything. I have no feelings for her whatsoever and I will watch myself in future a whole lot more to notice any signs of flirting, which, in hindsight, there were. I'm sorry." - then I think that's still grounds for a partner to be mad, sad, disappointed, but it's not really full-on cheating. Not in my book, by my definition.

Emotional cheating is much worse than physical cheating Being in love with someone and knowing it, imagining yourself to be with that other person, THAT is much more cheating by my definition than a fleeting kiss. And sometimes, depending on the circumstances, maybe even more than a drunken fumble or one night stand, but that is a very complex question. However, emotional cheating means you're not really in it with your current partner, pining for someone else but settling for what you can have out of convenience, fear of being left behind or some other highly egoistical motivation. That really sucks. (I've seen that take expressed on my dashboard as well, though with slightly different nuance to what I feel and believe, but pretty close)

So, taking these two of my underlying beliefs as the basis, what can I see happen in the next episode that would leave me feel okay with it, or happy about it, and what would make me feel iffy about it?

Let's start with the iffy.

Buck:

If, at any point in their drunken Hangover-movie escapades Buck and Eddie kiss, full on kiss (with maybe a little bit of tongue), and that kicks something lose in Buck, I would utterly hate that. Not that I wouldn't find it plausible that a kiss like that would trigger him realizing romantic feelings for Eddie, but that it happens now.

Someone else made a long post about negative stereotypes about bisexuals, and I agree. This is the promiscuity/bisexuals can't be trusted to be faithful stereotype, and I don't want Buck to ever be seen in that light.

Also, Buck JUST (and that post mentioned that too) convinced Tommy to come with him to the wedding, that he's ready for something... only to emotionally cheat (because it's that aspect for me rather than the kiss itself) on him the very next opportunity?

"But Tommy and Buck aren't in a relationship yet," I heard someone say, and well, yes. But this isn't REAL LIFE. It's writing. Things are crafted in a certain way to form a story, and stories have a purpose. The narrative gave us an arc where Buck seemingly wasn't ready for a relationship with a man yet, where he fucked up and had to fix that, had to take a leap and take some courage to make it work.

Just purely from a narrative standpoint, it would be so inconsistent to reverse that healthy step forward just one episode later.

From what we know about the episode, it also doesn't look like he's breaking up with Tommy in that episode. A lovely, potentially dramatic moment where Buck kisses Tommy in front of everyone as a means of 'coming out' is highly implied/likely. So that would mean him being aware of some feelings towards Eddie and still going through with that. And yeah. No. I'd really, really fucking hate that.

Eddie:

If they kiss at some point and it kicks something loose in Eddie, and he then goes back to Marisol... I'd have much less of a problem with that because it could still be explained and justified with him just being in utter panic about coming out. It would match the catholic guilt arc, and all his previous attempts at conforming to heteronormativity... BUT, if the relationship just continued as is and he'd actively use her as beard that would be shitty, even for poor confused, repressed, closeted Eddie.

The Not Iffy

On with Eddie:

If that kiss brings something to the surface in Eddie and he then breaks up with Marisol one episode later I would not consider that cheating or poor morals or anything of the sort. He wasn't aware of it until that moment, and as soon as he is aware of it and has had a little bit of time to process it, he draws the right consequences from it and breaks off a relationship he's not fully in.

So this would actually be fine to me. This could be the kick starter for a potentially long and complex arc for Eddie to a) come to terms with his sexuality and b) pine for Buck from a distance, because Buck is with Tommy and c) eventually, when the time is right, for Buddie to go canon.

Buck:

The kiss itself wasn't a serious or real kiss. I'd be okay with it, if it was some silly, exaggerated "MWAH" smack of the lips kiss, prompted by someone or something around them - I dunno, maybe one of the women there saying "Aww you're such a cute couple" and they going in for it just for shits and giggles; or Buck gushing about Tommy and what a great kisser he is and Eddie drunkenly, outwardly jokingly saying "Hey, I'm a great kisser too!" and them jokingly leaning in for a smooch, again, for shits and giggles.

Buck afterwards doesn't even remember it because it meant nothing in that moment, and so he's neither seriously physically nor emotionally cheating on Tommy in the slightest.

"But Buck has deep feelings for Eddie. How can he kiss him and not realize them?"

Well, see, Buck has been around Eddie for almost 6 years now and not realized them. They are so, so far past that getting to know and falling in love phase that it makes it a bazillion times more complicated to distinguish those deep platonic feelings from deep romantic feelings (because, what it comes down to in both instances is a deep bond; the bond of love you feel after years of dating isn't that different from a deep platonic bond. Again, Eros vs. Pragma and all that).

But Buck is *in love* with Tommy, he's just entered that exciting, chemically turbulent process of falling in love with someone which, with all the newly formed neural connections and all those hormones overrides anything else that has long since been present and is only now presented with the opportunity to take on a new nuance. Of course he doesn't get it, and he likely won't get it until much, much later, when he's falling out of love with Tommy again for whatever reason, or they break up amicably for whatever reason.

And THIS again is something that could easily go into the iffy, because I would really fucking HATE the implication that Buck needs to break up with Tommy to be with his One True Love. I don't want this to be a difficult and painful choice.

IF (when) Buddie goes canon, I want them both to be ready and free for it and not accidentally pushed towards it, or struggle with a guilty conscience for it, or hurt someone else about it. (Marisol wouldn't count in that context as Eddie would have broken up with her months ago and gone on his own long self-discovery trip).

So yes, even if for slightly different reasons, and even if my views on what constitutes 'cheating' may differ from a lot of yours, I agree that any actual MUTUAL feelings realization right now, under these external circumstances, would totally tarnish the beginning of the Buddie relationship.

Which also makes me hopeful it won't happen in such a way. Up until now, the writing has been extremely solid, and Buck's coming out arc has been done with so much care. I doubt they'd do something that ruins it. (But I'm not 100% sure of it either).

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #this is not an invitation for debate #respectfual nuanced exchange and dialog #yes #but don't lecture me on my morals #I'm very solid and confident in them

[kinardscoffee]

Can't sleep, and my mind is swirling with thoughts.

Major one is that the relationships that Buck and Eddie were in at the end of last season are clearly doomed to fail.

Every relationship for both of them, connected to an emergency call, has done so thus far.

Under the cut because she's long.

For Buck:

We have Abby.

They first "met" via a 911 call over the phone. The home invasion incident where Buck used the fire truck to pinpoint the location of the home. He had the siren on which perhaps was a foreshadowing that their relationship would ultimately have alarm bells going off in everyone's head (just maybe not Buck's until it was too late).

They meet face to face for the first time when Abby's mom goes missing. They also save a little girl from electrocution. Possibly indicating that something will always be missing in their relationship and also that they do have a spark between them, although it is most likely more one-sided.

And then, of course, we have the train derailment. Buck and Abby are reunited but not in the way Buck would have hoped. He is derailed from the knowledge that Abby has a fiance and it is evident that their relationship was ultimately a train wreck.

There's Ali.

Met during the earthquake. Their relationship seemed more casual and easy-going. Though, while they were dating, Buck moved into his own apartment. Earthquake... moving... moved into a new building... it's a reach, but still.

Then there was the bomb on the firetruck, and Buck was pinned beneath the truck, crushing his ankle/lower leg. Ultimately, their relationship crumbled due to the dangers and uncertainties of Buck's job.

And Taylor.

They met when Taylor's helicopter lost control. Which is perfect for them because everything about their relationship was a bit out of control. That relationship was nothing but lies and broken promises, two things that can only lead to crashing and burning.

I'm adding Lucy...

Just because they met on the bomb in the truck rescue. And them kissing helped blow up Buck and Taylor's relationship.

Natalia....

They met when a car crashed into a funeral. Like, need I say more?? Okay, I will.

This relationship will end quickly, and most likely, they won't even see it coming. So, I'm guessing that Natalia gets a job opportunity far away or she just can't deal with decisions that Buck makes...

Things could also end really bad for Natalia. Maybe a health scare or even death itself. Either way, I don't see her being around.

For Eddie:

Shannon.

We don't know how they met. So it's harder to include her, but she's important.

Shannon is still connected with a call, a car crash, and unfortunately, she doesn't make it. Which is oddly similar to Buck and Natalia. The only difference is that Buck and Natalia meet through the car crash and bond over death, and Eddie and Shannon end with a car crash after bonding over their past and the life they've lived.

Ana.

Now, I know what you're thinking... "But Eddie met Ana at Christopher's school" and you're right.

BUT...

They didn't get together until AFTER the emergency calls with the imposter fireman, which Ana did need assistance for a burn.

In this relationship, Ana got "burned" pretty bad in the break-up. And, just like that guy impersonating a firefighter, Ana, Eddie, and Chris were all impersonating a family unit.

But, I also believe this metaphor leans more so towards Eddie himself. He's constantly impersonating who others want him to be. This stems from his childhood and the way his father placed so much on his shoulders.

This is why I believe that Eddie struggles with his sexuality and why we'll know about him before anyone else.

Marisol.

Granted, not really a girlfriend, I suppose, but with the way the S6 ended with them, she has to be included.

Eddie met Marisol during a call at her home, where she has been busy with DIY projects.

Her brother gets trapped/buried alive/almost suffocated in her attic.

Isn't it telling that Eddie decided to ask Marisol out? He DIY'd it. He did it himself. But, ultimately, he will feel trapped in this relationship. Like Marisol is suffocating him with the relationship.

Obviously, I could be completely off-base here. Perhaps I'm inhaling fumes from all this clown paint... but, idk, what do you think?

#it's fun to be crazy #911 spoilers #911 fandom #evan buckley #911 speculation #buddie #eddie diaz #911 abc

[buddiebeginz]

Since I'm still seeing posts where people are saying Buck wanted Tommy's attention in 7x04 I thought I would do a break down of the episode. Cause the entire thing was about how Buck wanted Eddie's attention full stop and I'm baffled that some of you missed that it wasn't exactly subtle:

This is going to be a long post with gifs so I'll put it under the cut

First there was the mansion call. (I know some might say this scene is different because it was meant to be a part of episode 7x05. Doesn't matter they changed the order so it's canon for this ep and so Buck's behavior in it is relevant).

Buck trying to get Eddie's attention with the random facts he knows and also because he knows no one listens and appreciates that stuff about him like Eddie:

Buck glued to Eddie's side the whole call.

Buck also not showing any interest in the ladies from the Bachelor while he's standing with Eddie.

---

Then you have the scene at the hanger:

Here's the thing I do believe Buck has an attraction to Tommy and is interested in him but the main draw Buck has to Tommy is because of the multiple similarities Tommy has to Eddie. The show was practically putting a neon sign above Eddie and Tommy multiple times saying that Tommy is a mirror of Eddie.

I'd also like to point out that maybe it was just me but Tommy didn't seem all that interested in Buck throughout this scene or really any scene until the last one. Now yeah he could have been being cautious because he didn't know if Buck was into guys but I honestly got the vibe he was into Eddie. I can't help but wonder if he was trying to get with Eddie and then maybe in Vegas Eddie told him he was straight (not that he is) or maybe Eddie just told him he has a beard girlfriend. No one can convince me otherwise that Tommy doesn't think there's something between Eddie and Buck. I 100% believe all Eddie did was talk about Buck when they hung out and Buck did the same thing right up until Tommy kissed him. That whole "my attention" line was very telling. Tommy you're gonna get your heart broken but I get it dude Buck is hot.

So anyway Buck goes for a tour and unsurprisingly he brings up Eddie before Eddie ever shows up. And while yeah it's him responding to Tommy saying he was in the army it just feels like a partner moment. Like yeah no way my boyfriend was in the army. Buck talking about Eddie is as second nature as someone talking about their spouse. They're such an integrated part of their life that they don't even realize how much they talk about each other. It'll be interesting to see if Buck does the same thing when he's on his date with Tommy too.

Then Eddie shows up and if you watch Buck the whole scene once Eddie arrives he's almost exclusively watching Eddie.

(watching Eddie walk away)

Here's the difference btw in one of the few times he looks at tommy (when Tommy speaks) after Eddie show up 👇

Then at the end you have Buck make this face:

Which I think isn't so much about feeling left out as it is seeing how happy Eddie is and knowing he's not the one making him happy. Although I don't think Buck is consciously processing all of that right now but I definitely think that was a big part of it.

I think in this whole scene what's going on in Buck's head is this: 1. surprise that Eddie is there because he didn't expect him 2. Why didn't Eddie tell me he was hanging out with Tommy (I usually know everything going on with Eddie). 3. Trying to understand what he's feeling when he sees Eddie and Tommy together. 4. Feeling confused about everything. 5. Jealous that Eddie is going off with someone who isn't him but not really understanding that's what it is.

I get some people might watch that scene and say well Buck was essentially asking Tommy out on a date and then Eddie showed up an took off with him so he must be jealous that Eddie is getting to spend time with Tommy. Buck obviously has an attraction to Tommy but the person he really wants and wants to spend time with is Eddie this is further highlighted by the next scene we see them in when Buck keeps getting more and more upset over hearing about how Eddie is doing things he enjoys with someone who isn't Buck. But also in how Buck acted while at the at the hanger. He wasn't focused on Tommy. I mean have you ever been crushing on someone when they're in the room it's like no one else is. The person who Buck couldn't take his eyes off of was Eddie.

-------

Next we have the sewer rescue scene with Ravi. (We really need more Ravi and Buddie scenes btw I love them together) We have Buddie working together as per usual. Highlighting like in the Bachelor scene how well they work together which they always do.

You have Buck telling the story from the pilot about when he saved that baby in the wall and Eddie smiling fondly like a typical spouse who has heard that story a million times.

While they're working Buck is spending the whole call trying to find out what Eddie was up to when he went to Vegas.

Buck is asking a million questions which implies that Eddie hasn't told him yet about the trip. This goes back to the helicopter scene where Buck didn't know Eddie was spending time with Tommy and is really starting to feel left out. Again this isn't really about Tommy or Buck feeling like he's missing out on spending time with Tommy it's Buck feeling like he's missing out on Eddie's life.

Buck calls out the similarities between Eddie and Tommy

Although he's still clueless that this is what is primarily causing him to be drawn to Tommy. More than anything this was for the audience to again say in case you didn't catch it by now Tommy is like Eddie. They want to keep reminding us of this before the kiss so we know Buck is going to date someone who is like his best friend.

Also want to point out that while Buck is talking about Tommy to Eddie the camera shakes at points so we feel Buck's nerves. He's nervous to hear what Eddie has to say about Tommy.

Also the whole conversation about "naked men pummeling each other" and Eddie saying that he was wrestling with Tommy. Like I'm sorry but not one ounce of that convo felt heterosexual.

I've seen someone say that Buck's jealousy must have been about Tommy because Buck isn't even interested in the things Eddie and Tommy were doing together like Muay Thai and basketball etc but you can hear/see Buck getting more and more hurt as he and Eddie talk because Eddie is sharing parts of himself with someone else.

I feel like there's multiple reasons why Eddie and Buck haven't been spending as much time together. I mean yeah Eddie made a new friend but for the longest time it's been BuckandEddie like peas in a pod in work and outside. But I think the end of season six played a role in some of that changing

At the end of last season they were both dating someone else and they had both gone through some major trauma with Buck literally dying for 3+ minutes. We know that seriously affected Buck but the show didn't touch on how I know it must have affected Eddie. If you watch the scene (from 7x01) where Buck talks to Chris and we see Eddie's reaction in the hall when Chris talks about how everyone leaves. I can't help but think Buck's brush with death made Eddie think of Shannon and how scared he is to lose another person he loves or worse put Chris through that.

Not to mention what Buck said in the cemetery how he felt like Natalia this woman he had known for less than a minute saw him better than anyone. I feel like all of that combined made Eddie distance himself a little even if he wasn't doing it totally consciously.

There's also the fact that I think Buck has kind of taken Eddie for granted a little. We find out later in the ep that Eddie had asked Buck to play basketball with him many times but he'd always turned him down. I also got the impression in this ep that Eddie has all these hobbies that he was sharing with Tommy when he would have rather been doing them with Buck (he was so excited when Buck showed up on the basketball court).

And I'm not saying Buck doesn't love Eddie or hasn't tried hard to be there for Eddie and Chris over the years but it's something that happens in relationships sometimes. You think the person is always going to be there and you get distracted with life stuff.

This combined with things Oliver has been saying in interviews about how Buck is going to have to put in work for his next relationship. How Buck has always gotten whatever person he wanted mostly and I can't help but wonder if that's going to play a role in how Buddie is developed. Is Buck going to have to prove to Eddie how much he means to him?

This part of the scene if no other really lets you know it's about Eddie and not Tommy. We can see how Buck is looking at Eddie when he says I do I really do and we feel all these intense emotions from him more than would make sense for the brief amount of time he's known Tommy. He's clearly thinking of when he met Eddie.

These are really just the baby steps of Buck recognizing how deeply he feels for Eddie. Because right here he's thinking that he thought their connection and place in each other's lives was special and unique to every one else they knew but then he hears Eddie talk like that and thinks maybe he was the only one who felt that way. Maybe he's easily replaced in Eddie's life.

----

So Buck goes to talk about his feelings on everything with Maddie. Tbh I wasn't thrilled with how they did the Buck and Maddie scenes in this ep. Though I do think we're going to get more of a heart to heart with the two of them in future eps when Buck officially comes out. I just feel like Buck needed someone to really listen to him and Maddie was a little dismissive both times he talked to her. I also really want someone to try to ask Buck about his feelings for Eddie.

It's kind of crazy to me how no one in the 118 has ever really brought up the fact of how close Buck and Eddie are. Maddie has said the whole "boy crush" thing and that elf mistook them for being married but what I mean is you know the 118 sees how they are. Look at when Eddie was shot. It was assumed automatically that Buck was going to be the one to talk to Chris because they knew how close Buck and Eddie are and how they're essentially raising Chris together. This is how people talk about someone's spouse not just their friend.

Back to the convo with Maddie

Buck is complaining to Maddie about Eddie and Tommy. His feelings in that scene don't come across like he's unaware of some attraction he has to Tommy or like he's trying to hide feelings for him. He comes across as hurt, and frustrated, and confused that this new person has moved in on his place in Eddie and Chris' life.

Again I'm not saying Buck doesn't have an attraction to Tommy but I do think Tommy is a distraction more than anything. I think Buck is focusing on him rather than looking at the entire situation. Instead of asking himself why does it matter if your friend has a new friend? Why does it matter if Eddie spends time with new people? Why does it matter if Eddie shares parts of himself with someone else parts he might not be sharing with you?

----

Then of course there's the gym scene at the firehouse. I've seen people say Buck thought Eddie was on the phone with Tommy. And maybe he did. But you expect me to believe he was upset and jealous over Tommy and because Eddie was getting to talk to him and his way of dealing with that was to try and get Eddie's attention through lifting weights and pointing his dick at him. o_o

Literally sitting up in the middle of lifting weights so he can see if Eddie is looking over at him.

Nothing about this scene is telling the audience that Buck is thinking about Tommy. It's saying he wants Eddie's attention.

This scene is actually very similar to what happened at the hanger

Buck saw Eddie looking incredibly happy and he wasn't the one making him happy. Eddie also wasn't sharing what's been going on in his life with Buck. Buck felt shut out and ignored from the one person who he's been the closet with for years. Even when they've had girlfriends it's clear Buck and Eddie have been close and connected in ways they never were with anyone else. Buck is scared he's losing that.

If the show wanted us to believe that the scene was about Buck and Tommy and Buck's growing attraction to Tommy there are so many different things they could have done to highlight that. Have Tommy ask Eddie about Buck (if that even was who Eddie was talking to) and have Eddie tell Buck he was talking to Tommy maybe direct a question from Tommy to Buck. They also at the least could have said that's who Eddie was talking to and they didn't even do that. They could have had Buck ask Eddie hey is that Tommy? But they didn't because the scene wasn't really about Tommy it's about Buck's feelings for Eddie that he still hasn't fully come to terms with yet.

Buck buys a basketball literally has it sent to the firehouse so Eddie can see him with it and hopefully ask him to go play basketball with him. Because remember he's feeling left out of Eddie's life. It's not like he asked Tommy to play basketball or asks Eddie if he can go with him to the court in hopes of seeing Tommy. No he wants Eddie to invite him. He wants to know Eddie wants him there.

Watch how Buck acts even when he's opening the basketball. He's trying to do it quickly and even while he's doing that he's looking over to Eddie to try and get his attention.

Also someone on twitter pointed out that in season 3 it was shown in Buck's loft that he already had a ball. My head canon is that he still has that ball and the lunatic that he is he just bought a whole new one and had it sent to the firehouse so eddie would see him with it. 🤦‍♀️

---

Next is the infamous basketball court scene where I knew the minute I heard "basketball beard" and playing with the boys and other Top Gun references that canon bi Buck was a go.

Similar to the hanger scene Buck's attention is almost exclusively on Eddie through the whole scene.

Oh I'd also like to point out that both times that Eddie was with Tommy in this ep he was wearing sunglasses particularly when the two of them were side by side. I feel like it's the shows way of saying that Buck is not seeing Eddie right now and he's not connecting with his true feelings for Eddie.

I know Oliver is good at basketball but I couldn't help but laugh when they included that shot of him spinning the ball. Like we're meant to believe Buck doesn't play how did he learn to do that 🤦‍♀️

If the basketball scene had really been about Buck wanting Tommy's attention or being jealous that Eddie was getting Tommy's attention Buck wouldn't have been spending the entire time trying to get Eddie's attention. He also would have been competing with Eddie for Tommy's attention and he wasn't he was trying to get Eddie to notice him because he felt like all Eddie was doing was focusing on Tommy.

You can watch Buck get progressively more upset through the game as he feels like Eddie is competing against him and partnering with someone else when for so long that's been his role on and off the court. It's been Buddie against the world.

Also there's a moment when Buck runs into Tommy but the show never plays it as some kind of moment between the two. I mean they had more of a moment on the boat after the cruise ship when Buck patted Tommy's shoulder. But like according to some this is supposed to be the episode Buck is all into Tommy but that's just not present most of the episode.

Buck immediately knows he's fucked up after Eddie is hurt. I've seen people say why wasn't he running to help him but I've been in a similar situation like that where you're so stunned that you did something to cause someone you cared about to be hurt you can't even move.

Then as soon as Buck wants to try and help Tommy swoops in and says he'll take Eddie to the hospital. Taking care of Eddie has been Buck's job for a long long time. Think about how he saved Eddie during the shooting and took care of him and Chris. Also he took care of them during Eddie's mental health crisis. Buck is feeling like Eddie doesn't need him anymore.

Here's another thing I want to bring up about the basketball scene. Like I keep saying people have said that a lot of Buck's motivations in this ep were about Tommy. I'm sorry but you don't have those kind of strong emotions over someone you just met. Even if his emotions were that he had a crush on Tommy and felt like Eddie was taking all Tommy's time away. If Buck behaved that way from a simple crush on a guy he barely knew I would think he'd lost his mind. No he reacted the way he did because all of these feelings (that he's just now scratching the surface of dealing with) are connected to Eddie someone who means everything to him.

Remember too that Oliver said in his interviews that Buck doesn't even know why he's jealous or who or what it's about. Which is why I think even by the end of the episode when Buck thinks he's figured some things out there's still a lot he's missing.

----

The second Maddie scene

I definitely agree with what others have said that unfortunately Maddie's words here only served to further confuse Buck. What he was feeling was not just being left out and excluded from this friend but mostly jealous over a man he loves being all excited to spend so much time with someone else. Buck was jealous and scared of someone taking his place in Eddie's life and doesn't really know how to process that.

Oh and for people who say he wasn't jealous over Eddie he literally says he was to Maddie.

Buck admits he was trying to get Eddie's attention which like I said in the basketball scene you can see because Eddie is all Buck is focused on.

----------

Then of course we have the end scene with Buck and Tommy.

First we get the opening shot where Buck answers the door. And before he even answers we the audience are made to think it's going to be Eddie and made to think Buck also thinks it's going to be Eddie. Because all of the tension that's been between them in the ep hasn't been resolved and Buck hasn't talked about how he's been feeling to Eddie at all. So we're left waiting for that resolution.

Instead however when Buck opens the door it's Tommy

One thing I didn't mention earlier was that the show has made it a point to have Tommy only call Buck Evan. I've seen a number of theories people have for why this is, personally I think it's a reminder to the audience that Tommy for all his similarities isn't Eddie. Like they give us all these signs that say look Eddie and Tommy are so much the same but everytime you hear Tommy say Evan so casually like that you remember they're different.

Eddie who knows the real Buck only ever calls him that and it's only on the rare serious occasion does he use Buck's real name. Maddie is similar. It's like when Ana called Eddie Edmundo. These people have an idea of who Buck and Eddie are but they they don't know all the little intricate pieces that's something Buck and Eddie only have with one another.

So Buck is smiling and laughing (somewhat out of embarrassment for how he behaved on the basketball court) but watch his body language at even the mention of someone replacing him in Eddie's life:

I find it extremely foreshadowing of what's to come with Buddie that the show chose to have Tommy and Buck spend most of the time before their first kiss even right down to the seconds before it talking about Eddie and even talked about him afterwards. I mean if you didn't want your audience shipping a ship or giving them hope it was going to happen would you do that?

Buck not only talks about Eddie before the kiss he talks about how great he is and brings up memories of their past. Almost like someone talking about an ex they're still in love with. Like you're trying to move on but you can't help what your heart wants.

Like I said above I fully believe that when Tommy said "my attention" he knew that Buck is all about Eddie. Buck's response being "I guess" is even more telling because it shows his confusion. I definitely think that when Buck and Tommy break up (or however far they get in their dating) that we'll get some kind of confirmation that Tommy always knew Buck and Eddie were in love.

I think a lot of the stuff Buck talks about in this scene is him trying in the moment to make sense of the confusing way he's been feeling. I do think he's attracted to and likes Tommy but there is also a whole host of other feelings he has that really were the main motivating factors into why he acted the way he did in this episode.

The last time Buck was with someone and there was an I love you it was with Taylor and it was like Buck just went along in that relationship because he felt like he was supposed to. Buck and Eddie are similar in that way. They have this amazing love and bond with one another but there's a reason besides the fact that they're both guys that they keep avoiding really confronting their feelings. They're scared. They're scared to loose what they have. They're scared to change it. They're scared of fucking it up like they believe they have their past relationships. Scared of so many things. So they just kind of side step it at every turn.

The show mentioning Eddie right before the scene ends is one of the biggest indicators that this is all leading to Buddie.

If the episode was really just a misdirect where Buck was really into Tommy all along they wouldn't have made the last scene so Eddie heavy and especially not the last bit of dialogue about Eddie. The last few lines are what you're leaving the audience with until the next episode and the words they left us with are about Eddie (and Buck) so we're meant to focus on them.

If you read all this thank you ❤️. This post took me forever (which would be why it's getting posted a full week after the ep >_< ) please reblog if you like it. Can't wait for the ep tonight.

#buddie #911 meta #911 7x04 #911! #long post #911 s7 #buddie s7 #b*ck t*mmy for bl

[rainbow-nerdss]

Fic Writing review 2023!

I was tagged by: @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @aidaronan @exhuastedpigeon @jamespearce9-1-1 @theotherbuckley @aspecbuddie @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 (And possibly others, i may have missed one or two, sorry if i did!)

I can't believe 2023 is over, honestly. This year has had some ups and downs for sure but overall I'm so proud of what I've achieved. I started the year mainly writing Stranger Things fics, and while I still love that fandom and all of the wonderful people I met there, my inspiration for writing it was beginning to fade.

And along came 9-1-1. I am so happy with where I've ended up, and for all the new friends I've made since I found this show back in April!

Here's an overview of my year in fic:

Words posted to ao3: 235,060

Words written: 250,465

Works posted: 38

Fandoms posted for: 3 (Stranger Things, 9-1-1, MCU/Captain America)

Specifics and tags are under the cut!

Longest fic:

Crawling on Back to You 109k words, 30 chapters Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie, Rated E

Shortest fic:

Keep on Walkin' and don't look back 521 words Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie, Rated T

Top 5 by kudos:

1. Right in front of your eyes

9-1-1, Buddie, 15k

He and Chris, and Buck. They work, they’re a unit. Why should it matter that he’s single? Buck is watching him, like he’s reading every thought on his face. “You’re already planning to lie about the date. Why don’t you just tell her you met someone yourself?” Eddie shrugs and tilts his head to the side, squinting in thought. “She won’t set me up on dates if she thinks I’ve got someone,” he muses. “But she’ll want to meet whoever it is.” “So... Introduce them?” Or: Buck offers to fake-date Eddie so Pepa will stop setting him up on dates.

2. Pinky Promise

9-1-1, Buddie, 1k

Christopher Diaz doesn't mind that his dad's dating someone new. He's not dumb, he knows there's someone. The way his dad has been smiling lately, the way Chris catches him staring at his coffee, daydreaming like he isn't a grown man. The sleepovers Chris is suddenly allowed to go to on almost a weekly basis. Chris is happy for him, really he is. He’s just not planning to let himself get attached to whoever it turns out to be, just in case. He doesn't need a step-parent, because he has Dad, and he has Buck, and that’s enough. Whoever his dad dates, well. They'll probably leave, eventually. Chris doesn’t need to worry about them. Or: Eddie and Buck come to Chris with some news, and he doesn't take it very well at all.

3. Peek-A-Boo

Stranger Things, Steddie, 1k

Eddie tried not to stare. He really tried. He didn't notice at first, too preoccupied with the tub of pringles he'd been making his way through while talking about Corroded Coffin's last gig. Sure, he'd noticed the shorts. The ridiculous amount of leg Steve was showing, the way they hugged his ass, but it wasn't until Steve moved, lifted one foot to rest on the cushion, knees spread, that Eddie noticed another feature of the shorts. Or: Steve puts on a bit of an accidental show.

4. Definition

9-1-1, Buddie, 2k

It keeps happening, time and time again. People get it wrong. Whatever people say, it feels wrong and they don't know how to set the record straight, until Chris takes it into his own hands. or: 5 times people get Buck's role in Chris's life wrong, and 1 time they set the record straight

5. take my hand (knot your fingers through mine)

9-1-1, Buddie, 4k, written with @pock-o-pea

At least Buck’s okay. He’s outside, safe, doing his job. Buck’s okay, which means no matter what happens inside this van, If the crushing weight of the fridge takes him before Buck can get to him, if the van pancakes or flips or any number of likely disasters occur, if Eddie dies in here, alone, and in pain, then… He thinks of Mallory, of Jo. How they’d called out for each other. His eyes shut briefly as Mallory’s words echo in his head. “She’s not my daughter. Jo’s mother was my best friend… she saved me so many times.” Or: what 6x18 could've been

2023 Events I've participated in: AUgust, Fandom Trumps Hate

Current works in progress:

The bodyguard fic (somebody to someone) -One chapter posted, 3 more written and (almost) ready to post!

Steve time travelling in the upside down (of moments and unmoments (of time lost)) -One posted, two more in the drafts 😁

The break-up fic (you were my town) - Two posted, the third almost ready to post

Season 7 fic: 10 chapters, currently being edited to post

and then a bunch of isolated oneshots I've yet to figure out an ending for: 5+1 times Eddie sees buck with kids that aren't his, friends with benefits, secret relationship, Teacher!Buck, Buckley siblings kiss of death, Buck in the stairs (just started this one last night!)

Goals for 2024:

I want to finish posting all of the WIPs which are already on ao3, post my s7 fic before March 14, keep working on all the WIPs I have in my docs and of course write more and keep sharing!

Most of all I want to keep participating in this wonderful fandom I've found on here, I have had *such* a good time over the past year in fandom 🥰🥰

No pressure tags (sorry if you've already done this and I missed it!)

@hellwrites @the-emdash @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @911-on-abc @bittersweet-in-boston @kwills91 @trenchcoatsandtimetravel @spotsandsocks @devirnis @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @mojowitchcraft @wikiangela @steadfastsaturnsrings @sunflowerdiaiz @cardamomsage @velvetjinx

Also tagging anyone else who might want to look back at the year and I've accidentally missed!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

#fanfic writing #2023 writing