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#because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision
thebirdandhersong · 7 months
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I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.
#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats#that are separate from the general group chat (that no one ever talks on) that you aren't a part of is......... i don't know#i KNOW i'm liked by them and i KNOW they love me but do they WANT me around?#like. i know i'm not UNpleasant to have around. i am a good listener and a good conversationalist.#i work very hard at it because it doesn't come naturally to me.#but clearly that's not enough to be added to exclusive group chats! clearly that's not enough to be part of inner core circles#i don't know this just came out of nowhere and i feel as if i've been slapped in the face#sitting at a table where people are talking about the thing someone sent to the group chat#or the photo or quote or reel someone sent to someone else is....... bizarre.#i am trying not to be so hurt by it! i am trying not to take it so personally#it happens. i know it happens. i know it will keep happening. it is just that i thought this was a place where i wouldn't be lonely#and this is the dorm community i've invested so much of my time and energy and love into since last year.#so i think i'm justified in being a little upset!#i'm not crying about it but that's because i'm not about to cry with other people sitting here in the study lounge!#the math is probably really wrong here but i thought that if i poured love in for the sake of pouring love in#somehow somewhere along the line i would also receive love. that i would actually be a part of this community.#anyway that's not going to change how i live here! i committed myself to doing my best this last year#because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision#to do everything i can to love the people here.#i'm not trying to toot my horn this is just what i actually want to and have decided to do!#i have birthday cards planned! i have midterm snacks planned!#i've just worked out how i can print christmas and easter cards and stickers!#i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in#i think it hurts especially because there's the boy problem going on too#of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in#and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community#it is a Lot and it is very hard and i don't know what to do with it!#i have had this lie (that i'm inherently unloveable and undesirable) in my head since childhood#and i've worked SO HARD to shut that voice up. and it is so so hard to not believe it right now
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lyallblacklupin · 3 years
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Hey. I don't know if you are still taking prompts... but if so, I may have a challenge for you. 😉
Remus has to stay in the hospital wing for longer than usual. Sirius is secretly dating Remus and can't stand being away even though Madame Pomfrey says no visitors.
Thank you for such a cute prompt. I hope I have written just like you wanted. <333 Happy Reading! Stay Magical!
Rating: Teens and Up Audience.
The night was befalling as the walls of Hospital Wing started darkening, and the torches around the room ignited flames automatically with a thud. The room is filled with utter silence of the unoccupied beds with Remus Lupin being an exception, laying exasperatedly awake with bandages wrapped around his left leg. His stomach growled but it was the least he cared about because of the aching on the tips of his fingers and toes as his chest was in a constant state of agitation. He wanted something. No, he was craving for someone. He couldn’t stop his brain from the race of unwanted thoughts.
What if he doesn’t want me anymore?
What if he has realized that I’m not worth dating?
What if he is better off with my absence?
Suddenly, his thoughts came to a halt when his senses heightened with someone’s fastidious and highly familiar presence. Remus didn’t even have to look to recognize because it was none other than Madam Pomfrey. He loved her but not momentarily—infact not from the past five days who had strictly banned any visitors since his and Sirius’ fight. Speaking of, he shut his eyes as the memory enrolled in his mind all over for the hundredth time.
“I could have killed you!”
“But you almost killed yourself!” Yelled the boy who Remus was in love with.
“That is the last thing to be worrying—“ But he was not finished when the boy lunged at him and yanked him by his fists clutching his hospital dress, bringing him eye to eye and nose to nose as he growled, “Don’t you ever fucking say that. If you don’t care a shit about yourself then at least care about me! Us! But you don’t! You don’t care about us! Fuck you, Lupin!”
Remus’ heart was hammering in his chest, the pain of his broken leg was long forgotten. The tears glistened in the boy’s hard eyes. And before he could lift him his hand to hold his jaw, to soften the clenched face, to wipe his hurt away, Madam Pomfrey burst inside with her raging thunder.
“Mr. Black! Hands off this instant! How dare you bully a patient like that!? And within the Hospital Wing!” And he loosened his grasp which left Remus with an empty feeling in his chest. Even if he was being held brutally, he didn’t care because he was held by the foremost person in his life. The person he would never wish to leave.
“He’s my—“ He tried but his voice was a whimper in comparison to Madam Pomfrey’s.
“A week’s detention Mr. Black for scaring my patient like that! None of your friends will ever visit the Hospital Wing! Now off you go before I take away the house points!”
He gave Remus one last look of misery, tears still swimming in his heaven-made silver eyes, and scurried away from the hospital.
Remus numbly watched Pomfrey re-bandage his wounds. He suddenly felt so despondent and lonely after rethinking everything. He had hurt his favorite person in the world. And all that person had done was the care and love him with his deepest sincerity. He also knew that his lycanthropy had always been on his mind that even led him to convince the rest of his friends to become Animagis just to protect Remus from hurting himself. And now Remus had done the very same thing by not allowing his pack to accompany him to the last full moon. His broken leg and severe wounds were the aftermaths of his isolated transformation
He didn’t want to admit that he regretted his decision because deep down inside he had been unbound from the usual fretfulness of hurting his friends. He’d been better off hurting himself than hurt them, especially Sirius Black.
Now, it had been five days and Remus had not seen him. Neither James nor Peter.
“Ma’am?” He didn’t realize he had called her before she looked at him in question while applying the salve on the half-healed wound. He hissed in pain but asked anyway, “When am I getting discharged from this bed and these walls?” The bitterness cut through his voice sharply which made Pomfrey look up in surprise.
“Well, Remus. I expect to call me Poppy instead of Ma’am after five years I’ve been treating you.” Remus suddenly felt hot with embarrassment, “And it will take few more days until your walk starts, and then you’ll be well enough to join your classes and friends.”
The way she spoke, Remus felt like he had centuries to wait. He flopped down on his bed again with disappointment, the hollowness in his chest created a bigger void. A Sirius Black void. He needed it to be filled by that very person. The longing was more than Remus expected, intense enough to cause burning in his eyes as his throat began to constrict gradually, tightening his chest. He held himself until his throat had turned thorny. He let out a shaky breath and tears spilled down his temple, founding their place in his already messy hair. He cried silently. He ached and ached until sleep drifted him away.
Even in his dreams, he saw dark hair rippling like the black sea, shiny grey eyes like silver orbs, and fair skin like snow accompanied with pink flushes on the dips of the body. And then he saw a hand reaching out to him and just as he tried to grasp it, the hand flew away with a burning brush on his arm. The sensation was warm enough to jerk him from his unconsciousness. Remus’ eyes opened up to the same ceilings of the hospital wings. The room was still inky blue. He saw his dinner tray on the nightstand in which the food had gotten cold and dry. He immediately touched his left arm where the same sensation was tingling his skin. Or maybe he just felt it in reality? But no one was there. Remus was alone and cold.
He tried closing his eyes again, feeling no appetite at all, but he sensed a faint noise of rustle. He ignored it before it came back again with a feeling of fingers brushing his arm again. He sat up abruptly, clutching his sheets to his chest. His eyes were scanning the room desperately when—
“Moony?” Remus screamed when he saw Sirius’ head appear in the mid-air. Sirius rush ahead to put his hand on his mouth, “Shh! Please! I don’t want to get more detentions, Moony!”
It was all too much to process; Sirius appearing like a genie with no body—before he pulled off the Invisibility Cloak, and Sirius’ warm and sweaty hand on Remus’ mouth, and most importantly, Sirius was here in front of him after five fucking days. He removed his hand once Remus calmed down.
“Look, Moony, I’m sorry—“ He never got to the end of it because Remus shoved Sirius in his embrace. The embrace that was yearning for Sirius only. He thought he might have thrown away anyone if they had tried hugging him before his boyfriend. Remus squeezed him impossibly closer and tighter. He was clutching him like a lifeline. He had his face nuzzled in Sirius’ chest. His fragile arms were strongly wrapped around Sirius’ torso. He was relishing the scent, the touch, the love, and everything he had missed.
“Fuck, I missed you, Pads.” He grunted in his collarbone, “I was longing for you…”
“I’m here.” Sirius cooed in his ear, pressing a kiss beneath it, “And I’m not going.”
“You’ll have to,” He chuckled, traveling his hands to find Sirius’ and intertwined them both.
“Eventually, yes but don’t ruin the moment, Moony.” Remus was torn between tightening his embrace or pulling away to gaze at Sirius’ face but then he felt the other move away. They parted from their lingering hug, and Sirius delicately held Remus’ face and bent down to kiss him. Remus felt his body was set on fire. They kissed languidly at first until their desires amplified their passion. Sirius dug his knees on the bed while Remus complied by pulling him in his lap. Suddenly, his boyfriend gasped and jerked away.
“Remus! Your leg is broken and—I’m sorry!”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s just my calf area. I was not hurt okay?” Remus shushed him, peppering kisses on Sirius’ hands. The other boy nodded but frown still sitting on his face. He sat against him on the bed and Remus didn’t leave his hand. He just wanted them to be touching like an assurance of never parting again. They sat in silence. The flaming torches on the walls had already died out.
“Why did it took you so long?” Remus asked sheepishly, running circles on the outside of Sirius’ palm to make him sure that he was not mad.
“It’s not like I didn’t try,” Sirius spoke softly, “Had to sneak out from James’ hell hound eyes. And the last two days were spent in getting caught by Mrs. Norris. That fucking cat.”
“I love cats, okay? Don’t insult them.” Sirius cocked his eyebrow at him, “Yeah but she is such a pain in the arse.” They giggled. Remus couldn’t avert his eyes from Sirius who was avoiding his gaze, “Last two days, huh? It’s actually been five days. Are you mad at me?”
“Moony, how can I be mad at you?” The gentleness in his voice was powerful enough to cause Remus to feel hot behind his cheeks, “But yes, I admit that I was angry. I thought you didn’t want to see me. I thought that you’d want some space. But then I couldn’t stay away from you for so long. Life has been terrible without you.”
“Life has been terrible without you too, Sirius. I missed you so much. I felt bad the second you left this room. I felt so sorry to hurt you like that—“
“Your pain is my pain, Remus,” Sirius said sternly. His eyes are hard as steel. “You can’t isolate yourself like that. I know you fear hurting us but Moony, can’t you see? You are already hurting us like that. James has been quiet lately and Peter…well, he is just following his pursuit. What I mean is, none of us can see you wounded in hospital for like a week because of us. That we weren’t able to protect you.”
“It’s not your responsibility—“
“It is. You are mine.” Sirius squeezed their already entwined hands. The words were like a gush of affection in Remus’ heart. He was suddenly out of arguments. He smiled at the boy before him who smiled back weakly, “And yes, it’s been only two months since we started dating, but you already feel like my responsibility now.”
Remus arched an eyebrow at his flustered expression, “Wow, that’s quite patriarchal with few amendments since a man is claiming his supremacy on the other man.”
“Wha—you dominate over me all the fucking time!” They broke out in fits of laughter but then immediately clapped their hands on each other’s mouths to keep it down. Funnily, the more they forced themselves to be quiet the more laughter bubbled out of them. Remus suddenly grabbed Sirius by his collar and crashed their lips together. Their giggles were turned muffled until they were silently devouring each other’s mouths. Sirius was now moving from his jawline to his neck, and Remus turned into mush as the warmth began pooling into him. He just wanted to stay like this forever.
Suddenly, they both froze when the sounds of approaching footsteps came from the hall. Sirius lunged down to the floor to grab the invisibility cloak, and suddenly the door swung open.
“Mister Lupin?” McGonagall?
“Professor McGonagall.” Remus’ voice shook.
“I am sorry for barging into the Hospital Wing just like that, but I wanted to ask if Mr. Black might have stopped by here?” Even in the dark room, Remus was able to see the grave creases on her forehead. He gulped and eyed down the floor to found Sirius was nowhere to be seen.
“Umm…No, Professor.” He stammered.
“Well, that lad is one hurricane, isn’t he?” She sighed, “I hope you are recovering well, Remus.” Her voice softened and a hint of a smile passed her face. He nodded and then she was out of the hospital.
After he had made sure that there were no sounds of any footsteps he said, “What did you do now?”
“I came during my detention with McGonagall.” Sirius peeked through the cloak, with his entire body invisible.
“Okay, you look very creepy like that.” He stood, brushing off the dust from his trousers, “Come here, now. I want to relish you till my heart is contented. You are getting more detentions anyway.” He opened his arms for Sirius who fell into them with the goofiest smile on his face.
“You are such a masochist, Moony.”
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ahsxual · 4 years
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Perfect Day
Pairing: Arthur Fleck x Reader
Summary: You and Arthur are excited for your first date, since it's an essencial key for your relationship.
Genre: Fluff
Warning: sexual harassment (literally one sentence, nothing too serious)
Word count: 2,7k
A/N: I don't know how to feel about this one... I wanted it to be romantic and cute, yet I feel this isn't enough to express my feelings for him... anyways, I really hope your opinion is different! :)
Gif Credits: @arthurflecc <33
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Today is the day I will finally find true happiness, Arthur thought. Last day, you invited him to have dinner at your place, since none of you could afford an actual date, and that way you could spend some time alone. You work with him as female clown for a couple weeks now and that's where you met him: he, besides Gary, was the only one who's truly kind and respectful, not some jerk like Randall who would always make some unwanted comments on how pretty you are. With that, Arthur got the courage to defend you, a gesture you noticed and really appreciated. That's when you decided to invite him as a thank you gift for what he has done (and maybe because you thought he was really cute and a real gentleman).
To Arthur, that morning seemed brighter than any other he had lived: he could swear that the birds were singing to him, like it was a sign from nature and destiny telling everything was going to finally be ok... as long as he was by your side. This time, the sky wasn't covered by depressive and heavy gray clouds like every other day: instead, it was replaced by the sweet scalding yellow sun and the gorgeous shade of baby-blue. Even the stairs weren't painful to walk anymore and the runs to the bus weren't as stressed and tiring as they used to be. He came down the stairs bouncing with joy, like he was a kid who just got his favorite ice-cream flavor for free. People even looked at him awkwardly, but he couldn't care less. Nothing could ruin this day to him.
Once he entered Haha's, his heart started to beat way too fast once he realized he would see you in a matter of seconds. He couldn't wait any longer, so he quickly ran to the room of clowns, hoping for you to be the first thing he would lay his eyes on once he got there.
"Hi, Arthur!" you happily said as soon as you saw him, realizing that he had been standing there for a while, staring sweetly at you. However you didn't mind: you knew his intentions were utterly good.
"H-hi Y/n! You... you are very... b-beautiful today." he finally got the courage to praise you, to speak his mind out loud, even if he stuttered meanwhile. He was with his red waistcoat and pants, and a white social shirt, an outfit that suits him just perfectly.
"Oh, thank you, you look really good too! And I'm glad you liked it, I want to look good for our tonight's date." you teased him, just to see his cheeks turn redder than they already were. You were with your date's outfit on, because you were planning to go home right after you left Haha's. You wanted to surprise him, however he arrived sooner than you expected, so you didn't have the time to change into your clown's work outfit.
"A date??" he seemed surprised for you considering your meeting an actually date.
"Yeah, sure. Don't you want to call it that way?"
"Yes!! I mean, i-if you want to..." he correct himself, after realizing he sounded too excited than he should.
"Ok, great! Can't wait for tonight." you said gladly, earning a sweet tooth wide smile from him.
"Me too Y/n, me too..." after sharing an intense and intimate exchange of glances, you decided to break the reconforting silence between you. That silence told and shared way more emotions than any possible spoken word, but you couldn't risk any other coworker complain about you two to Hoyt.
"Well, I'm going to get ready now. Talk to you later, ok?"
"Uh... sure." he understood, giving you once again a thin, shy smile.
You both did your work for the rest of the day, not wanting your secret love to interfere and prejudice your professional life. Both of you knew how demanding your boss could be, so you better not test his limits.
The day was finally near to its end, so you went to your locker to collect your belongings and then change into your clothes, before joining Arthur who was already waiting for you outside.
"Are you ready?" you asked once you got near him.
"Absolutely." he calmly, yet enthusiastic answered. You wanted to overcome your shyness, so you slowly interlocked your arms with his. You could tell that he was a little hesitant by the sudden affectionate gesture and seemed to paralyzed, looking intensely at the spot where your arms found each other.
"Arthur? Are you ok?" you were scared that you crossed the line without meaning it.
"Y-yeah! I'm sorry, I'm just... not used to being touched..." he got upset, remembering how miserable and lonely his life was... but not anymore. That's the past, and now you are more then willing to change radically his and your future as well, putting all that suffering and intense pain far far away behind him.
"It's ok Art, you are safe with me, I promise you that. But if I do something that makes you uncomfortable, please let me know." before your lovely night started, you needed to make sure that he would be comfortable: you wouldn't forgive yourself if anything bad happened to the man who supported you and made you feel like the only beautiful woman alive, and you being the responsible for it.
"Thank you, Y/n. That's really nice of you... I really appreciate that." he made that sweet stare towards you, one that makes you melt right away every time.
"Come on Art, my stomach is already complaining." he happily laughed, and you acknowledged his smile.
When you arrived home, it was impossible for you not to notice: he was quiet, yet so observant with everything: sometimes he would even touch so softly your belongings, and you would just smile, feeling nothing but comfort and acceptance. How can anyone consider me as someone so essential and special in their lives?, you deeply thought. But that's just how Arthur was: he always manages to feel like it's only you and him against the world, the rest being irrelevant.
"What do you want to eat? I can make your favorite plate... or at least I can try." you softly laughed, feeling a little nervous by your kitchen skills. You really wanted to impress Arthur... especially on your first of many dates. He then looked at you with wide eyes, swallowing his dry throat from growing anxiety. "What's the matter? Did I do anything wrong?" you started to get even more nervous than you already were, now being you having your mouth and throat dry.
"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong! I-I just..." he paused for a moment, not being able to look at you since he felt very ashamed. "I'm not hungry... I'm sorry..." he said slowly with a low voice, derived from his embarrassment.
"Oh..." you felt a little sad if you were honest: you bought a bunch of food so he could choose freely what he wanted to eat and make this day special by making him a surprise... but you couldn't blame him: you knew about the secondary effects from the meds he takes, the lack of hunger being one of them. "It's fine, don't worry about it." you tried to relax him, which you did since he offered you a kind smile right after, just like his big, yet fragile heart. You tried to think of something else: you couldn't miss this opportunity to be with him, both of you being so busy with your lives that the time you spend together is absolutely rare and precious, being as valuable as gold, or diamonds, or even more. "I got an idea!" a cliche, yet romantic idea came to your mind. "What about... seeing a movie? Or a tv show that you really like? While eating popcorn, obviously." you winked at him.
"Sounds like fun." he smiled. "But... I-I never... ate popcorn. Never had the chance to try it..." he shyly said. You felt bad for him... in our childhood, it's the most delicious thing to eat, a sweet that brings us joy, happiness and even peace, for some. But now, him being in his middle 30's, how has he never eaten or at least tried it?
"Then seems like you're going to have this delicious experience with me instead!" you gently laughed, trying to make him more comfortable. This time he gave you a toothy grin, staring at you like he was in heaven and you were the only pure angel in it. You blushed at his staring, so you decided to look away and do the popcorns instead. "Make yourself at home! You can sit on the sofa if you want." you offered while pointing to the most comfortable furniture you had. He instantly obeyed you, sitting on it awkwardly since he was afraid of doing something wrong that could annoy you. Yup, that was definitely the last thing he wanted to do... mainly on this special day.
Once you finish the popcorn, you sat right next to him, being way closer than he expected. Not that he minded, no no, not at all, but he couldn't help but to shake unstoppably by the complex emotions he was feeling from the warm and soft human contact... from the most perfect human being in his eyes.
"Before we watch it, I want you to prove this delight first. But you have to close your eyes! It will taste better, I promise." you grabbed one popcorn kernel and signaled him to open his mouth. He instantly felt tenser and his frail heart started to beat furiously because of your gesture. If someone had told him when he first saw you, that he would come to your house and spend these moments with you, he would've laughed by the immense unlikelyhood. But here he is: in your house, with you. He shakingly opened his mouth, slowly closing his big ocean eyes right after. When he tasted it, it was like he was 7 again, living his lost happy childhood: it was sweet, crunchy and tasted like happiness, this feeling amplified with you by his side. "How is it?" you curiously asked while smiling by his reaction.
"This is so... wow." that's all he could say.
"You want more? This bowl can be just for you, I will do more for myself." the moment you got up, you felt your arm being gently, yet firmly grabbed.
"Wait!" he suddenly said, removing his hand from your arm right after, not wanting to scare you away. "I-I'd rather share them with you... i-if that's ok..." His shyness was something you could never be tired of: it's one of the words that describe him the best, making him look immensely cute to your eyes. You felt genuinely happy because he was making a move on you: as little or even insignificant that gesture was to everyone else, it meant the world to you.
"Sure, sharing is always better, right?" you shared a glare that spoke the untold love for each other, yet not unknown. "So... what do you want to see?" you finally asked.
"I don't know... maybe-" suddenly he noticed the tv, that was already on, presented the Murray Franklin show, catching immediately his attention. "Murray!!" once he saw it, it was like his shyness was never there: the carefree and excited Arthur who you never had the chance to meet, was now shown. You even felt jealous for a moment, seeing all his attention was now in the show.
"Oh, you like Murray? I watch him from time to time, the show is really funny." he turned his attention to you again, seeming surprised by your answer.
"You do...?" his grin shined even more once he discovered you had more things in common, one of them being something he admires and even considers as a dream, the main goal in his professional life.
"Of course! Who doesn't like to laugh and relax after a tiring day of work? Laughing is the best medicine for happiness." his smile broke, slowly decreasing into nothing. "I mean, when you really want to laugh, not when you have to." you remembered his condition, so you corrected yourself.
"I heard that my whole life, so I guess you're right..." he seemed mindful, looking and playing with his own worn hands. You gently grabbed his hand into yours.
"Don't worry Arthur, I'll make sure you really laugh, not just because you can't control it or because you forcely have to. I promise you... I will do my best to make you happy everyday." these moments and words were unforgettable to him. He couldn't see his life without you anymore: the only way he could be truly happy is by your side, the only way he could survive... is only by your side.
"Thank you, Y/n. I... I-I really enjoy these moments I spend with you. They're the only thing that make me feel happy and alive. You make me feel like... like I'm real and seen... and you have no idea how much that is important to me." you felt so proud of him for being able to speak from his mind and heart without hesitance, and utterly special for being the only one who entirely owned his trust.
"You don't need to thank me, Art. It's my pleasure to be with you, a man who's so kind and respectful like you. If others can't see it, it's not your fault. Like I use to say, it's their loss for not seeing someone so good in front of them. But I can see it... and we all only need the ones who really care about us in our lives, the rest is just the rest. They don't matter." now was your turn to speak the honest truth. He didn't have to say anything for you to understand how right and perfect he thought you were: it was like destiny was telling him to not let you escape... because you are his soulmate, his one and only person who came to this world with the purpose of filling him, to fill his heart with pure love, compassion and comprehension. "Oh, the show has already started!" both of you were so distracted or, should I say, so concentrated on each other, that you didn't even notice what was happening around you: the world always stops when you are together.
Once you decided to see the show, you shared the made popcorn and some laughs, Arthur always making sure you would laugh when he would. Every time Murray made a joke, Arthur looked at you, concentrated on your expressions while admiring your beauty. It was an incredible spent night: you laughed, ate popcorn together, supported each other... with time, you even hugged him softly, only for him to gladly return it, yet shyly, as predicted. If you two were honest, you would admit that you wanted so badly to share a sweet, passionate and meaningful first kiss... but that has to be preserved for your future dates, since the respect you have for one another it's incomparable to any other: you want things to happen naturally, without hurry, because what begins fast... ends quickly as well, and that's the last thing you want to happen, for sure.
This was the last piece of the puzzle that was needed to finally go forward your relationship: you belong to each other, like your hearts are attached and only function correctly when you are together, like the universe had and still has wonderful plans for you... and both of you are so glad to finally be able to be by your soulmate's side... forever.
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Part Two of my MerMay Fic! Part One is at the bottom!
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Kurogiri was making his way through the crowded meadhall to the door. Lightly pushing vikings out of the way but also having eagerness in his step. A child? In the slave trade ? A harpy no less . This is not good. He had to see for himself.
Once outside the meadhall Kurogiri’s eyes locked on the docks to see the slave ship just pulling in and crowds already surrounding the auction deck. With haste he rushed to the docks hoping he was not late. He spotted the red head that was at his bar just a minute ago , quietly he slipped next to him watching the ship unload its prisoners. All women mostly, heavy chains on their wrists and raggy clothing looking very scared and depressed. At the end of the line his heart sank.
A harpy child, just like the red head said. Messy short purple hair that hung over her eyes with brown wings tied behind her back. A dirty brown dress covered her little body . She could not have been 10 years old. The red head next to Kurogiri fussed with his pockets touching all over his pants and heavy coat as if he was looking for something. Kurogiri stepped closer to the deck waving over the viking in charge of all this. Loud yelling and shoving started up in the crowd while Kurogiri talked to the man.
“A harpy child?” He asked concerned.
“Yeah found it all ‘lone off the coast. Was gonna die if we left ’er”
“How much?”
The viking rubbing his chin looking all around. As if unsure.
“Every drink is on the house from now on .” Kurogiri said .
The man smirked and slapped Kurogiris arm laughing. “Okay okay. We both know you just don't want her to be taken by some dangerous man. 10,000 Hacksilver.”
Kurogiri was a little annoyed at the over price , Harpies usually went for 5,000 . Must be because shes a child. With a groan he dipped his hand into his fancy animal fur coat taking out a little bag and dropping it in the mans hand. The man tucked the little bag away in a pouch and waved his hand. “Give ole Giri the harpy boys.”
The red head rushed to the front with a little bag in his hand but the man shook his head. A second man picked up the girl and Kurogiri took her from him holding her tight. The red head was visibly upset and Kurogiri could feel the child shaking in his arms. Without saying anything he made his way back to his meadhall.
The redhead stomped to his captains house hoping to take his frustrations out on his hew mermaid but the captain was already asleep. He would have to wait till morning.
Kurogiri opened his door to see Toga dancing on the bar with knives and Shigaraki behind it making drinks while Dabi lit candles around the meadhall to keep the area well lit. He was pretty sure he asked Toga to keep an eye on the place, not dance. At Least no one was fighting.
The harpy was still shaking in his arms with her face in his chest . He looked down at her as he made his way to the bar. Her feathers were very spotty in places, she seemed to be missing some and her hair was a dark dirty purple with knots. She had short bird legs with chipped talons and her dress was raggy .
Kurogiri stopped at the bar to look at Toga for a minute till she noticed him. She giggled and crouched down looking the harpy over saying how cute she was. Dabi and Shigaraki came over and very slowly the harpy showed her face to them.
“Aww! Cutie!” Toga said giggling.
“Just a kid.” Dabi said, blowing the flame out on his thumb.
“Trades are getting worse.” Shigaraki saud going back to serving drinks. If anyone was going to take this hard it was him. Kurogiri saved him from the trade as well way back when.
“Himiko, can you clean her up? Her room is the spare one.”
She jumped off the bar taking the harpy from him eagerly and rushing upstairs.
“ so who else was there huh?” Dabi asked pouring himself a drink
“That red head that was here with that Captain and the usual others”
“I saw them come in..” Shigaraki said, looking at the cup before sliding it down the bar. “Bad news.”
“How much was she? The trader give you a half ass price?” Dabi asked pulling a nearby woman to him by her hips swaying slightly, enjoying her giggle.
“Yes. 10,000 . So I need some extra hands here for awhile.”
The woman pouted at the man's words and wiggled free of Dabi leaving him frustrated and needy. He looked at Kurogiri and he only shrugged.
Meanwhile Toga had gotten the Harpy in the bath and cleaned her up. She winced every time the cloth hit a cut and Toga would have to console her till she calmed down.
“Hey, whats your name huh? I bet its pretty!” Toga asked, washing her hair.
The harpy said nothing , instead she watched this girl take care of her. “Wanna know mine? Its Himiko Toga! But you can call me big sis!!!” She said putting a dry cloth on the girl's head drying her hair. She pulled the cloth away to see bright purple hair and some freckles on the girls nose .
“Cutie!!!”
The harpy smiled a bit .
“Here here!” She pulled the girl out sitting her on the ground drying her off. “I got something for you okay!” She ran off to another room leaving the child with the cloth on her head.
When Toga returned she had a special light purple dress in her hands . “For you! I made it out of one of my dresses. She dropped to her knees putting the dress on the harpy and buttoning the front up. “You can still use your wings! And don't worry about stepping on the dress since its the right length. “
She looked down touching the dress, a faint red appearing on her cheeks. Toga picked her up and took her to her room. It was huge , a nice open room with a very furry bed and a big window . Toga sat her in the bed patting her head before leaving so she could get settled in.
The harpy wiggled out of bed and climbed up to the window to sit in it. So many houses, people. This was very different from her home. Maybe.. not all people were bad.. The wind kicked up and she sang softly into the night. The men downstairs stopped yelling and looked up at the ceiling . Kurogiri looked up and so did Dabi and Shigaraki. Toga jumped onto the bar to dance to the song . For the first time in a long time Kurogiris meadhall was peaceful.
Meanwhile , not so ways away was the mermaid. She lifted her head to hear a gentle harpy song, slowly her tail swayed in the water.
•••••
@katsukis-sad-angel @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love
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phoneismybf · 4 years
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TharnType The Series Ep. 11.5 Lhong Review
#TharnType #TharnTypeS #TharnTypeEp11_5 #TharnTypeEpLhong #TharnTypetheSeries #TharnTypeReview
I'm ready to know the truth. Come on, show me everything Ai Lhong. All these scene, that I commented on the previous episodes. Those attitude make me questioning and curious about what you hide behind those expressions.
He did that expressions behind Type and Tharn. That satisfy little smile. When he heard Type want to break up at the hotel room. Wow...
Haven't watch the episode? Check this out. TharnType The Series Ep. Lhong Eng Sub
Man, that face, full of plan. The face that show everything is on his hand. No!!!
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I don't dare to see this scene, seeing Tharn crying is hurting this weak heart. I don't know how to say. Let's be general first without emotion. Tharn is drunk, he drink a lot. His belly already full of beer I guess, how he can eat some foods. He will throw up. I'm afraid about Tharn too Ai Lhong but it seems he wants to be alone now. I remember his words that he won't end his life because of broken heart. So, I guess he will be ok. Just leave him for now. The way he refused to eat, he is annoyed by you. I feel pity for both of you. Lhong, you care for your "friend", I know it is hurt to be refused. I understand both of your feeling.
Here, I can't ignore my emotions. "What did I do so wrong?" Tharn, you never did something wrong, you just too good, too kind and too great to be a human. "I love him the most" Tharn. Did you hear that clearly, Lhong? Don't you see his wounds on his tears? I don't even want to see him crying like that. But you, you caused him like that for many times.
He loved Tar but he disappointed because Tar was lying and betraying him (Don't know the cause yet, the reasen why Tar lied and betrayed Tharn, was he threaten by Lhong? How? I mean beside the video, what else were happens?). He loves Type the most so much so that he doesn't think he can love anyone else. Points. How many times he had a boyfriend, the fact is until now he doesn't see Lhong more then just a friend. Tharn is a typical of man who can approach first, I believe that he can notice someone whom have feeling for him except Lhong. Why? He already feel the care from Lhong is the care for friend not for lover, moreover Lhong keep hidding his feeling toward Tharn. That's why Tharn never see you that way.
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Arghhh Lhong! You playing with my emotions. Type wants you to take care of him? He wants or you offer it? Don't even dare to cry, what are you crying for? You cry because you lie to yourself, is that right? Is it not Type but you the one who wants to take care of him. Lhong, or anyone who might be had similar characteristic with him, "eat this for Type's sake" Lhong. Believe me that this statement gives Tharn a small hope for Type to comeback. Type broke up with Tharn but still left his care in Lhong. What do you think? Tharn will never think of your care if you said "for Type's sake", He definitely will think that Type still care at him through Lhong. Love is bound to care each other and they do. "I can do everything for him" Tharn, after the crying scenes, the fights, the cuddling, the promises, the honesty, the love words and the attitudes from both what else do we need to proof that their love is true, Tharn's love for Type are pure and sincere.
I don't know if Lhong ever felt love before he met Tharn. But, for me, If I were him, seeing Tharn suffering like this. I'll definitely help them to make up and build their relationship even stronger then before. Become a supportive friends because I know the feeling of broken heart is too hurtful to handle. But Lhong seems never felt love. I need more background story of him to proof my judgements are not mistaken.
Lhong, wake up. Please, wake up. You already trapped in your own made dream. Tharn still calling for Type even he is on your shoulder.
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No, don't tell me that Lhong is a broken home child. Please, it is not true. He never felt love even from his parents. No... I HATE a plot twist like this. poor him. "NOBODY WANTS ME, I DON'T BELONG HERE" Lhong. He never had love, don't tell me that he is also an unwanted child. Noooo... It's make sense if his characteristics are like that.
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He hides his loneliness and depressions from everyone. He tried so hard to make friends and to be accepted but still there is something missing, right? Lhong, I don't know that you were through an hard life. What happened to you back then just happened to me recently, I also think that I don't belong here and no one see me like the way I see them for good. I'm also a broken home child but slightly different, I know the feeling of loneliness but not as much as yours because I'm glad that I have friends whom care at me. Even though for now I feel more lonely because of something elses. Your mistake was you never told at least someone that you hurt inside, you never know what other think about your condition. You never know how care they are if they knew you need their help. Lhong, you never be honest to other and also to yourself. I've been this strong because many things thought me to be stronger even now I just at the bottom of myself but I keep my self awake, never lose my self in my own dream.
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THARN... Ha already became an angel for every one since he was born. He is too perfect. What is his weakness? Can you tell me? He really care so much of Lhong as a "friend", he even want to hear Lhong's problem if he have some. He is ready to help. I will fall to Tharn's kindness too. Their relationship were this good. But I can see that Tharn never see Lhong more than just a friend even Lhong tried to attract his attention that much. A secret admirer, he had be honest when he said that he is lonely even he hanged out with lots of friend. That's what I feel too recently.
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I'm wondering Tharn's point of view about Lhong. I'm not sure, I think he knew that Lhong has a feeling for him more than just a friend. But he also can't do anything because he afraid that he miss calculate his perception. Other thing is he doesn't love him to be a boyfriend. So, he didn't make a move and just ignore and wait till Ai Lhong say something about his feeling toward Tharn, that is the right time for him to talk about this.
My tears keep falling.... This series like unite all of us who has trauma or mental problems. We are at the same circle. Type, Tharn, Tar and Lhong. We are hurt inside.
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Why you just said that now? After everyone are suffering so much. You have to say it at the first place. I know you are afraid that Tharn will leave you if you be honest to him, but you already knew who is Tharn right? He is a good and kind person, he will never leave you just because you tell him your feeling for him.
Lhong and me are like the sun and moon. Lhong who like sun, burning, anger, obsessive, passionate, cheerful and looks full of power, once he got in anger he can blow it up. Me, the moon, cheerful only at a moment, calm, passionate, thoughtful and let everything goes like it should be, I can hold my self to keep calm or show little bit of my emotions when I'm angry. He is the one who very obsessive and will do anything to get what he wants is the opposite of me who always sacrifice my self for others. He got rid anyone who close to Tharn but me whom told my crush about my own feeling and was rejected but keep loving him as long as I can see him smile and happy.
This 18 minutes was so satisfying to be discussed. I wonder what will happen on the final episode. I hope it will fill our curiosity. But I also feel pity for Lhong if there will be something bad happen to him yet what he did was cross so much lines. I mean he has the right to have happiness for his own, he just a victim of his own feeling but he also worth to be judged because he made people suffer enough.
Why is khun Mame so talented to make such beautiful and worth watching or reading stories? I like the story of Love by chance, it succeed to make me love every characters, story line, everyone's problem and how they suffered in it so much, now is TharnType. Great on build up the characters, moments and also the conflicts. What I want now is I hope I could read the novel version to know and understand more about everyone's point of view.
So, how about you? What do you think about Lhong? Or the series itself? Leave me your thoughts below. See you... Next year 😊
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