#brains liveblogs bg3

[fluorescentbrains]

gamer dudes DON’T understand shadowheart and it’s ANNOYING…. I’ve seen so many comments acting surprised that shadowheart is down with polyamory and excited to have a four-way, calling it out of character. My man that simply is her character. sorry you projected some vanilla fantasy of innocence onto her but she’s a freak and always has been. do you think they’re doing missionary in the shar cloister?

#maybe if you submitted to abdirak in act 1 with her in the party you would get it #brains liveblogs bg3 #gawd it annoys me. they really did the most to ensure you understand shadowheart is bisexual and kinky but people still see waifu

[fukiana]

this is why you have all the problems you do.

#rylas's brain is a public community lot #oc: rylas #bg3 liveblog #bg3 spoilers #i have so many durge brainworms i can't articulate i need to commune with my mutuals tadpole style

[perilegs]

boooo i can't hug wyll. 0/5 game

#gale shadowheart and halsin were the only ones who i could hug #i also did kiss halsin and karlach #i need to play through the ending again bc i dont have a save for a non-squid karlach #but i did enjoy kissing her on not only her squid mouth but also forehead 😭 #also being the dark urge i was able to say something like ''ok my urges arent back but ur hot feeding on brains'' #tho idk the epilogue isn't my fave but it was nice #leevi liveblogs #bg3 spoilers

[fithragaer]

Fate of all companions at the end of zxar’s game:

-Astarion: ascended vamp, living happily ever after with his beautiful wife who is definitely not mind controlling him. she lets him think she’s under his thrall as his vampire spawn/consort because she thinks it’s cute 

-Laezel: she freed orpheus! yay! the two of them can go fight vlaakith if they want to I guess, not that it’ll matter

-Shadowheart: broke free of shar’s influence! She can have a little shrine to selune somewhere if she hides it well enough :)

-Wyll: zxar stimulates the economy by offering new job opportunities (becoming a great evil for the blade of frontiers to topple. or try to at least)

🪦-Gale: died of blood loss or wizard starvation within days of the nautiloid crash

🪦-Karlach: became a mind flayer with a new lease on life which zxar instantly snatched away to further her own goals

🪦-Halsin: died badly while orin and zxar battled around his unconscious body. they dragged his corpse to sarevok but he wasn’t impressed

🪦🪦-Jaheira+Minsc: both heroically fell in battle alongside the remaining harpers trying to stop zxar, bhaals rechosen, from her awful deeds. i never had minsc in my party even once so he had 11 hit points and died immediately 

#9 possible companions not counting minthara. only 4 survived #karlach made it right to the very end. almost there #laezel actually mechanically died in the last fight and she was the last one outside the portal to the brain #but she got better I guess? #text #alma’s liveblog tag #bg3 spoilers #perso

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

Not me being genuinely sad that I thought I did everything right but there is no Us in the mind flayer colony...

#BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #Shye plays BG3 #semi-liveblogging #I was attached to that little brain critter #hopefully it's that I missed a step #and I will find them on the next run

[blackjackkent]

Bleh. I wasn't gonna do this cos as y'all know I'm pretty revved up on my BG3 liveblogging adventures lately but I'm also in the home stretch on the upcoming move and my brain just does not want to settle to anything right now (and also I have a bunch of last-minute move prep shit to do). And I'd rather work on Rakha's story when I can give it proper focus and attention. So I'm gonna take a break on liveblogging until I'm settled in the new house - assuming no unforeseen circumstances, Rakha's adventures will resume on the 21st. (Thanks for patience from those of you who were following along. <3 )

#bjk plays BG3 Durge #Rakha the dark urge #bjk talks

[coa4]

bg3 liveblog insofar:

wilhelm scream in the first 5 sec of the opening cutscene. GOTY

as soon as i called it goty to my friend i started the actual game and my character was basically tposing instead of... being in the scene. A+

ripped out this guys brain and now its my friend/dog(?)

#z

[butchboromir]

well. this will be consuming my brain for the next FOREVER i hope u guys are ready for so much bg3 liveblogging

#you WILL hear about my video game characters so help me god

[pheonyxian]

Baldur's Gate 3 Sexless Any% Part 3

I think some of my mutuals are using this as an actual way of knowing what BG3 is actually about so I figured I'd use this edition to talk about the plot and npcs a bit. Might slow down or stop these at some point? I thought the original premise was funny but I don't know if it's liveblog an entire 100 hour game funny. Regardless feel free to block the tag I'm adding if you don't want to hear any future rambles. Do love/hate it when a game I didn't intend to like so much gets its grubby mind flayer tentacles wrapped around my brain so hard.

The OC PC: RPing through the game as my OC Ank. I wasn't sure if picking an oc with strong psychic powers would rub against the mind flayer plot but so far it's been a perfect choice. Ank is traditionally a villain but I'm not playing a villain for my first play through, so it's been fun to rp him in a scenario where he's g o o d and his life didn't take a turn for the worse. He's also traditionally blind, but obviously the game isn't set up for that. I was originally just imagining cutscenes playing out differently if sight was involved, but maybe it'll be more interesting to consider him in a pre-blinded state. I'm sure certain repeated actions in the ocular region won't have any u n f o r t u n a t e effects.

Mind Flayers: The setup for the plot is that mind flayers have infected you (and your companions, and a large number of npcs) with mind flayer parasites and you have to remove them before you turn into fully grown mind flayers. Except for some reason you haven't turned yet and you get cool psychic powers with them.

The Guardian: In addition to making your own character at start, you also can character create your "guardian." Everyone I know just hits the randomize button because they've already spent an hour fussing over every detail of their character, but I knew this was coming and already planned my guardian out. And uh, like I said, Ank's traditionally a villain and the only guardian-like character he's ever had is uh... I'm going to be honest with you, if the guardian turns out to be the big bad of the game that's going to be funny as all fuck. I'm sure there's very little chance of that though, it's not like there's anything evil about telling you to s h o v e w o r m s i n t o y o u r s k u l l.

Withers: Withers is more of a mechanic than a character. I do want to know his story though. He's an undead or lich or something who will revive dead characters (for a cost) hire generic undead companions (for a cost, I guess if you want to resign your poor companion's unfortunate fate) and change your cast (for the same cost as undead friends.) I guess money still has use in the afterlife. I haven't had to use his services yet but I've had a lot of close calls and dwindling Revivify scrolls so it's only a matter of time.

Volo: Just Gale but a bard. Not a playable character Bard mind you. At least not yet. I don't know what his deal is. He offered to extract the mind flayer parasites with a pair of needles which I almost agreed to to see if he'd actually poke Ank's eye out.

And updates on companion stories:

Shadowheart: Decided that after a week of traveling and nearly dying together it was appropriate to breach topics again. Pretty sure the game expected me to ask these immediately once the option was available but like I said, we respect boundaries in this house. Anyway, Shadowheart's a cleric of Shar, who by context I'm assuming is bad. The way she put her worship didn't sound that bad, about embracing the darkness as a way of stripping falsehoods, right up until she started talking about toppling governments and killing innocents, so I'm keeping her at a 2/10 for being batshit insane.

Also her magical artifact is required for keeping me alive and she stole it and do we really want the e v i l cleric to have that kind of p o w e r over M E?

Lae'zel: Lae'zel sits at the very strange crossroad of honorable and completely ruthless. She's totally fine with killing your enemies but you have to do it the right way, and b r a i n w o r m s isn't the right way. I'd say the right way is whatever works. 7/10

Gale: All of my attempts to pry into Gale's backstory (boundaries? what boundaries?) were foiled by poor dice rolls so no updates on his dark and traumatic past. I did give him two magical artifacts to slurp up because he looked like he was going to die of heat stroke at camp. I've been avoiding spoilers but I had heard that it's hilariously difficult to not accidentally romance Gale due to a bug, and the fact that you can start his romance path without realizing it. Thankfully Ank is smart enough to realize that when you cast spells together that makes the air smell like rosewater it's time to high tail it out of there. 2/10 as smooth as a slip n' slide.

That said, I don't know if it's been patched yet, but according to the internet there's like a 50/50 chance the game thinks we've already banged. Tbd on that one. Sexless any% is slowly turning into Oops! Fucked Everyone thanks purely on technicalities.

Astarion: Based on the way people talk about him I genuinely thought the pompous personality was just a facade and that he'll eventually tip his hand and reveal he's been evil this entire time. But honestly based the bits of backstory he's (refreshingly, compared to the rest of these idiots) given out I think he's just the guy who, once given the keys to power, will drive right off sanity road. Regardless, he used to serve an abusive vampire lord so I guess we're going vampire hunting in the future. 10/10 bad influence gay best friend who tells you to chug and shove parasites up your eyes.

Wyll: Wyll is a warlock who serves a fiend that forces him to hunt down and kill demons, which sounds like a fine deal until some tricky wordplay came in. After refusing to kill Karlach (Tiefling, not demon) his patron changed him into a Tiefling too. Honestly? Upgrade. 6/10 nice guy but surrounded by more colorful characters.

Karlach: Ok here’s why Karlach is a 10/10 character even without taking sex appeal into consideration. She’s a Tiefling who served in some demonic war against her will and had her heart replaced with an infernal engine that constantly burns her and anyone she touches with searing hot pain. Despite this she has constant big sister energy and her biggest complaint is how touch starved she is. I don’t even care if it comes bundled with a sex scene, Karlach is getting a goddamn hug before the credits roll.

#BG3 sexless any percent liveblog #if you know my character Ank though please do read this one #He’s having a time

[fluorescentbrains]

changed my mind about the emperor im on his team now. may he catfish many more Matthews

#brains liveblogs bg3 #also hey matthew are you sure you’re into women. are you sure.

[fluorescentbrains]

i watched some of the illithid endings on youtube and the romanced gale ending is HILARIOUS he seems completely unbothered by the change and talks about inviting his parents to the wedding. meanwhile almost everybody else is either a hard no or they need some time to adjust to All That

#halsin was the other one who was completely chill #but even he had like. some reflections on the situation #gale was just like anyways the catering will be challenging but whatever #brains liveblogs bg3 #meanwhile shadowheart is like look the sex still bangs but i need to process all the trauma in my life and this is a little much #lae’zel is like we can’t be together now but i’ll never forget you. peace. #wildest of all wyll goes full wife in the attic about it

[fluorescentbrains]

not going to lie i am a little peeved that there was so much hype about poly romance options and i got kind of excited to explore that and then it turns out there’s really just like, one

#this is my one criticism of the game so far #unless there’s some super secret way to finesse it everything locks after a certain stage of progression #with the exception of halsin #idk why shadowheart for instance would agree to be poly with halsin and not karlach whomst she flagrantly flirts with but. WELL #brains liveblogs bg3

[fluorescentbrains]

in sorcerous sundries you can find a book implying mystra has also been in bed with elminster… goddess of the weave more like goddess of being a wizard chaser lmfao…

#brains liveblogs bg3 #gale get out of there fr….

[fluorescentbrains]

DELIGHTED to report that you can give your player character a bush in baldur’s gate 3

#but also why are there like 5 different penis customization options and only 3 pussy. Come on #brains liveblogs bg3

[fluorescentbrains]

he’s literally like not me i’m different !

#brains liveblogs bg3

[fluorescentbrains]

honestly have yet to play a video game where i didn’t feel like the climax kinda fumbled the ball. it’s really really really hard to transmute the sense of potential and possibility inherent to a video game into a narratively satisfactory close that meshes with ALL the player’s choices. bg3 did pretty well for me but still. i have a sense i will be running many a playthrough where i simply don’t make it past that orpheus vs emperor bullshit

#the orpheus thing annoys me bc lore wise he’s as shady as the emperor but all the in game lore is like. propaganda for him ajdjsjdjs #brains liveblogs bg3 #i still freed him to make lae’zel happy and bc house of hope fucking rules but like. didn’t really feel great about it