#but all in all i just feel better. like a weight is off my shoulders and i can actually be a little productive and kind to myself.

[planetaryupscaled]

Our Little Secret

Male Reader x Eunbi

Tags: 4k, creampie, stepmom

The story is not ours; we simply alter the original story to our preferred settings.

“Oh you like that? you naughty boy.”

—

I became a new half-brother three months ago, at the age of twenty-three. Though I know this is completely normal, it still feels strange to be so much older than my sister. Even stranger that my step-mom is not much older than me. A year ago, my dad married a twenty seven year old woman. She had her child three months ago at the age of 28. It still feels strange to see them with a baby. But I'm getting used to it.

As I walked up to the door of their house, I took out my key and unlocked the door letting myself in. Walking in, I set my bag next to the staircase.

“Hello.”

“Hey Tae,” my step-mother, Eunbi, called. “In the living room.”

Walking into the living room I was a little startled as she was breastfeeding Sooyun on the couch.

“I hope you’re not offended by this,” Eunbi said looking up at me with smile. “I was just finishing giving her a snack before putting her down for bed.”

“Oh no, not at all,”

“Good,” she replied with a soft smile. “Going to put her down and let your dad watch her for a while. Though he’s taking a quick nap, had a hard day at work I guess.”

“Figures,” I said with a bit of a knowing look.

“Yep, that’s him. Always the party crasher,” Eunbi said as she walked out of the room.

As Eunbi walked by me, I caught a glimpse of one of her breasts, as she hadn't put that side of her spaghetti strap top back on. She obviously wasn’t wearing a bra and while I had noticed it before, her breasts really had grown quite a bit since her pregnancy. Probably has a lot to do with the milk stored in them now. She used to probably be something like a B cup, I never looked that hard really, she is my step-mother after all.

I was sitting on the couch with a bottle of water by the time she came back into the living room. Walking back in I looked a little more closely. At her breasts and entire body, they really had grown a considerable amount.

Eunbi was very attractive. She had pretty tanned skin and black long hair that flowed down her shoulders. Her eyes were dark brown. She was pretty much back in good shape, loosing most of all that extra pregnancy weight, which just in three months is pretty amazing. Eunbi was about 5’3” I would guess and what she was wearing only helped make her look better. Not that she really needs it.

Since it was the middle of summer, it made sense that she had on the black spaghetti strap top which she had put back into place but still no bra. She was wearing light colored jean shorts that probably went to about mid-thigh, showing off her legs nicely with a pair easy slip-on sandal.

“Would you like anything else to drink?” Eunbi asked as she noticed my bottle of water.

“No, water is just fine,” I replied with a soft smile.

“Oh being healthy tonight huh?” she teased lightly.

“Hey! I am, most of the time,” I shot back playfully.

“Well,” she replied looking at me. “With a physique like that, you must.”

“Water does help,” I replied mid laugh and with a smile. “Thanks.”

Eunbi then walked over and sat next to me on the couch as she turned on the TV, with only about four inches separating our legs. She turned down the volume enough so that we could still hear each other talking.

“So did you have a decent day?” Eunbi asked turning her head to look at me.

“Eh it wasn’t so bad,” I replied with a smile. There was a moment after I replied that we both looked into each other's eyes for a second longer than usual before we both turned our heads to look back at the TV.

“Ahh shoot,” Eunbi sighed as she stretched her legs out in front of her, stretching her muscles. “I forgot Sooyun’s bottle in the kitchen, and I am so full of milk right now. Sooyun didn’t want much earlier.”

She gently held her breasts underneath them on the bottom as she referred to how full they were. It was then that I noticed her nipples were really hard and pushing outward underneath her top. It feels kind of wrong marveling at her breasts like that, but I can’t say I don’t like them either.

“I’ll go get it for you.” As I was about to go get it, she held my hand.

“Oh no, don’t worry about it, I can do it later.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah…” she replied with a smile. As she said that she moved herself right next to me, the sides of our bodies touching and she laid her head down on my shoulder, “I’m sure.”

I wrapped my arm around her, letting my hand rest on her shoulder as I held her gently. Her hair smelled good too, she must have taken a shower a little bit before I got here. A fruity smell, maybe mango or something like that.

“I hope she turns out to be as nice and caring as you,” Eunbi said softly with her head still on my shoulder and looking forward.

“I’m sure she will and thank you for the compliment.”

With that she moved her head and looked up at me with her pretty brown eyes and said, “Of course. You fully deserve it. You’re a wonderful step son.”

I smiled back as she said that, meeting her smile. We held the gaze for a few moments looking into each other's eyes, perhaps a couple seconds too long this time. Breaking the gaze, she laid her head back on my shoulder. Looking down I noticed her nipples were still hard, maybe even harder now.

“This may sound kind of strange but I was wondering,” I started to ask looking down at her. “Do you ever...taste yourself? I’m just curious. I would think mothers would.”

Propping her head up a bit she looked back at me and asked, “You mean my milk?”

“Umm...” I started to reply as I let it sink it what she said. Realizing that what I asked could have meant something else that I didn’t mean to ask at all I quickly said, “Yes, your milk.”

“I have actually, yes... it’s kind of sweet tasting with a bit of a saltiness to it,” she said giggling a little bit as she smiled back at me obviously getting what I was realizing. “Why? Did you wonder what it tasted like?”

“Just curious, really,” I replied somewhat innocently. “Though I guess now that I think about it, yeah I did.”

“Would you like to try some? It is safe for grown people too!” she said playfully.

“Umm, I guess…” I said somewhat hesitantly. Not quite what I had in mind but this seemed o.k. “Do I need a glass or something?” dumb question to ask on my part.

“No need,” she said with a smile looking me in the eyes. “It is best if you try it from the source.”

“Eunbi...” I called out her name. “I’m not sure that’s a great idea... I know we’re not related and all but you are my step mom.”

“Its fine…” she said reassuringly. “One little suck isn’t mean anything and no one will ever know but us.”

With that, she pushed both straps of her top down her arms, over and off of her breasts. Exposing them. Her large tanned skin, luscious looking breasts were gorgeous. Her aureoles were dark pink, large, and swollen, and her nipples were hard and pushed straight out. Her breasts hung down slightly, which she pushed out by pushing her chest forward as she looked at me.

“Wow they’re gorgeous,” I whispered softly under my breath, realizing a moment later she probably heard me.

“Thanks,” she replied with a smile looking at me and gently cupping her breasts at the bottom of them. “Take your pick as to which one you want your sample from. Just be careful, they’re extra sensitive right now.”

I smiled back, looking her in her eyes before slowly lowering my head. I moved my mouth toward the one closest to me—her left one. As my mouth neared her nipple, I slowly stuck out my tongue and gently flicked the tip of her nipple. She drew in a short quick gasp as I did and I knew, even if it was wrong, that she probably wouldn’t mind if I had more than one quick suck.

As my mouth reached her nipple, I grasped it with my lips. Gently flicking it with my tongue inside my mouth, I began to softly suck on her hard nipple. Feeling milk seep out of her nipple and into my mouth I sucked a little bit harder as then her milk squirted into my mouth. It did taste somewhat sweet with a hint of saltiness. It wasn’t too bad as I swallowed it and sucked harder, getting more of her milk into my mouth.

After that larger suck I removed my mouth and ran my tongue from her nipple all the way across her other breast to her other nipple. Grasping that one in my lips just as I had the other, I began sucking on it taking her milk into my mouth. Moving my hand up I very gently pinched her other nipple as I sucked.

“Ohhh,” Eunbi sucked in a sharp gasp. “Oh Tae, I haven’t been touched like this in months. This isn’t right but… don’t stop.”

Hearing her say that only made me suck harder, taking more of her sweet warm milk into my mouth. After I had a little more of her milk, I removed my lips from her nipple and looked up at her smiling. She returned the smile and looked at me with her brown eyes which said that she clearly wanted more.

Moving my head up to be level with hers, I took a chance and leaned in and kissed her gently on her soft lips. She didn’t back away, instead she kissed me back, gently at first but soon we were kissing passionately. She had wrapped her arms around me, pressing her breasts into my chest. I had one arm around her while my other hand was pinching one of her hard nipples.

In the middle of our embrace, she abruptly stopped and pulled away. Looking back at me, “We can’t… This is wrong, what are we thinking? especially not right here and now, your dad, he’s only taking a nap. He could wake at any time.”

“Yeah...” I sighed softly as I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. “I guess you’re right.”

“No more of that either, except this last one…” she said with a sly smile as she gave me a hard deep kiss before pulling away.

Eunbi then cupped her breasts in her hands, gently kneading them outward squirting her milk out of her nipples at me, particularly my face. I smiled at her as she did it a few times before putting her top correctly back on.

“I’m so glad you liked that,” she said gently wiping the milk off my face. “I don’t know if we can ever continue this, it is wrong, but deep inside, I definitely want to.”

“Am too,” I smiled back at her.

“Good, I am glad we understand each other,” she replied. “I'll go get dinner ready.”

With that she got up off the couch and left the living room. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Was this some kind of dream? I pinch myself, nope I guess it wasn’t. I really had just sucked milk out of my step-mothers nipples and we had both enjoyed it immensely.

The rest of the evening went by and we had our dinner, and talked about random things before saying our goodnights and heading to bed.

Getting to my room was all the way up the third floor of the house. It was somewhat of a loft because it was the only thing up here. The staircase came directly into the room after opening the door. But you didn't have to go up a ladder, so it wasn't really a loft. Getting into bed I decided to sleep naked like I normally do. It was warm enough and after a little while of dozing, I fell right asleep.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to hear the baby during the night as they were all the way down on the first floor. But sure enough I was able to as at about 2 am when she started crying. After about 30 minutes it seemed to be perfectly quiet again with no outbursts at all.

About 15 minutes later, I heard the door to my room creak open, then close again. Looking up from my bed still in a groggy sleep, I saw Eunbi standing near the door, watching me. She was wearing what looks to be a silk nightgown in a light peach shade color that goes down to her mid-thigh. Her nipples were hard again and pushing against the fabric. I smiled at her as she looked at me.

“I know I said we probably couldn’t do any of this again,” she said quietly. “But my body and mind are just begging to be touched again. I haven’t been touched like you did earlier in a long time.

“Your dad once I got close to term with Sooyun stopped wanting to be with me in this sort of way for the most part. And now after she’s born, it’s been even worse. I need, and want the attention.”

“I don’t know how anyone could pass up someone as gorgeous and sexy as you,” I replied with a smile.

As I said that, she walked over to the edge of my bed, pulled back the covers, and got in next to me, smiling. She placed herself close to mine before she leaned in and kissed me, we kissed passionately as she ran her hand down the side of my body from my shoulder down to my thigh.

“Sleeping naked huh?” she whispered with a mischievous smile. “I like that. I’m only wearing this nightgown, and I’m sure we could change that.”

“Oh?” I commented giving her soft kiss. “Well, why don't we right now?”

Eunbi smiled at me as she sat up in bed and pulled her nightgown over her head, revealing her wonderful breasts as well as her pussy. Looking down, I noticed she had some hair down there before wriggling back under the covers and pushing closer to me.

“Sorry about the hair down there,” she said looking down her body. “I have let it grow lately without doing much to it.”

“Sorry?” I replied with a bit of shock that she was apologizing. “You’re gorgeous how you are. I love it.”

“Really?” She commented excitedly with a smile and a warm kiss. “I’ll keep it then. Just for you. Our little secret.”

Gently running my hand down her soft skin on the outside of her thigh I slowly moved inside and then upward. She instinctively moved her legs apart as I reached her pussy, which was hairy, wet and warm.

“Mmmmm,” Eunbi moaned quietly as my hands ran across the slit of her pussy lips. “I need this so bad.”

“And I want this too bad.” I said.

Eunbi trying to push her pussy down more onto my hand. “You can have all of me that you want, the way you want.”

I gently slipped two fingers into her wet throbbing pussy and began pushing them in and out of her, curling them inside as she moaned quietly in pleasure. Taking my fingers out, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body against mine, pressing my hard thick cock into her mound of pussy hair as I kissed her deeply and passionately.

She broke away a little bit and grasped my hard cock in her hand, starting to stroke it up and down with her slender fingers from its base to its head.

“Ohhh Eunbi…” I moaned as she increased her speed while stroking my hard cock. “That feels so good… don’t stop.”

As she continued to stroke my cock, I took one of her breasts in my mouth. Wrapping my lips around one of her hard nipples I began to suck on it letting her milk squirt into my mouth. I continued to suck on it, letting more and more of her sweet milk into my mouth. She stopped stroking me as intensely as she was groaning in pleasure from my sucking and pinching of her other nipple.

“Oh god Tae, yes...take all the milk you want from me,” she moaned in pleasure.

Smiling up at her after she said that, I moved to her other breast licking her big sensitive dark pink swollen aureole before grasping her nipple with my lips. Sucking in I took more large squirts of her milk into my mouth, savoring its sweet taste.

Eunbi had moved her hand back to my hard cock and was slowly stroking it up and down, playing with the head of it and any pre-cum with her thumb.

“Mmmm, oh yes,” I groaned lightly as I took my mouth off of her nipple.

“Oh do you like that Tae?” Eunbi asked playfully. “Glad you do because I can’t go any longer without your big hard thick cock inside me. I’m throbbing for it more than I knew I ever could.”

With that she threw back the covers on the bed and straddled me. Kneeling over me she pressed my cock down on my stomach with her hairy pussy and grinded gently on it. Smiling down at me she began to knead her breasts outward, squirting milk out of them toward my chest and face.

“Do you like that? Oh you naughty boy,” she said with a mischievous smile as her milk squirted out of her hard nipples over me. “I’m a mommy now. Do you want to fuck your step mommy’s pussy? You better, because I want your hard cock so bad.”

I nodded as she moved her hips up, placing the tip of my cock on the slit of her hairy pussy. She gently moved my tip of my cock along her lips, feeling her pussy hair before pushing her hips down, sliding the head of my cock inside her.

“Ohh god…” Eunbi gasped as it entered her and she continued pushing down, taking me all inside. “Oh yes...yes. Fill me up, mommy wants all your cock!”

I pushed up as she slid down my hard thick cock, pushing my entirety into my step-mom’s love hole. Her wet pussy was swishing around my cock as she began to go up and down on me.

Eunbi was bouncing up and down, lifting her hips all the way up so just the head of my cock was inside her before pushing herself right back down to the base of my cock. Her big swollen breasts were jiggling frantically up and down as she rode me. I reached up and began massaging her breasts as she bounced, making her spray her milk.

She bent down so I could take her nipple in my mouth as she continued to push herself up and down on my hard cock. I began sucking on her nipple, enjoying the flow of her milk into my mouth.

“Oh god, yes,” Eunbi moaned as I sucked on her nipple taking her milk. “Suck out mommy’s milk while you fuck me...ohhhh, god yes.”

My cock was pumping in and out of her wet pussy and I continued to suck out her milk from her nipples.

I then slid my hands down the sides of her body to her waist as Eunbi sat upright on top of me again, bouncing up and down on my hard cock. I could feel her pussy walls loosely grasping at my cock as I pushed into her. She was moaning with her head back and hair flowing down her back. Her juices were leaking out of her pussy and down my cock to my balls, making a spot on the bed.

I could feel my cock beginning to thicken inside of her as well as my balls beginning to contract as she continued to ride me. Eunbi could feel it too as she went up and down even fast and harder.

“Oh you’re going to cum soon aren’t you?” Eunbi said breathing heavily looking down at me with a smile. “You better cum deep inside of me. Mommy needs to be full of cum, maybe you get yourself another sibling.” She said with a seductive smile.

We were both moaning as my cock continued to thicken inside her as I went hard and fast in and out her wet cunt. I began to feel her pussy contract in pleasure and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Thrusting myself up deep inside of her, Eunbi slammed down on my cock and sat there grinding into me as I began to spasm inside of her. My cock was erupting inside of her, spraying my warm sticky cum deep into my step-mom’s pussy. Eunbi continued to grind on me causing her hanging breasts to sway back and forth as my cock still pushed my cum out and deep inside her.

“Oh god...fuck…yes...” Eunbi breathed out sharply as she felt my cum shoot deep inside her wanting pussy. “God that feels good, oh I needed this so bad. Oh Tae, you’ve made mommy feel so… so good!”

Looking up at her smiling, I reached up cupping her breasts and gently pinched her swollen nipples before massaging her breasts. Softly kneading them her nipples began to spray out more milk onto my chest. Eunbi then replaced her hands with mine as she lifted her hips up, removing my wet cock from her wet pussy. Laying down beside me, Eunbi massaged her breasts aiming her spraying milk at my chest and face. Licking my lips I took as much of her sweet milk as I could smiling.

“So love that you like this,” Eunbi said giggling at me with her milk on my face. “I need this from you more than just this once.”

“So I take it, mommy...is doing alright?” I said with a smile, emphasizing the word mommy.

She gave me a huge smile as I said that, leaning in and giving me a big warm kiss. She then pushed her hips toward me as we were lying on our sides, pressing her mound of pubic hair against my semi-limp wet cock. I pushed my hips forward rubbing against her hair as I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her passionately.

“Yes, oh yes,” Eunbi whispered breaking our embrace. “Only thing mommy would want now, is more of your cum in mommy’s already cum filled pussy,” she added with a warm smile.

Giving her a mischievous smile, I rolled her onto her back and got on top of her. Her legs spread apart instinctively as I climbed on top of her. My cock was now hard again; I teased her with it, gently rubbing the tip of it on her hairy pussy lips.

“Oh god… no teasing, just fuck me already, fill me up with that hard cock,” Eunbi breathed as she heaved her hips upwards.

Pushing my hips down, I slid my hard cock into her sopping wet pussy easily. Starting to move my hips up and down, I was pushing my hard thick cock as deep into her as I could go.

Her walls of her pussy were grasping at my cock, hugging it as tight as they could. Our juices had mixed together and were seeping out of her now, trickling out of her pussy down over her ass and to the bed, making a bit of a little puddle.

Thrusting my hard thick cock into here sopping wet hairy pussy, she was matching my motions by thrusting her hips up. God, she felt so good wrapping around my cock. I wish I could do this all day long but I knew that wasn’t going to happen plus I wasn’t going to be able to last that long this time.

Continuing to push my hard cock into her, I cupped one of her breasts in my hand and brought my head down toward it. Running my tongue around the dark swollen aureole I then grasped her hard nipple and sucked. Her milk squirted out, filling my mouth with her sweetness.

“Mmmmm!... Oh god yes,” Eunbi moaned bucking her hips up hard. “Take mommy’s milk in your mouth.... oh yes, like that...and her pussy, oh yes...push your hard cock deep into mommy’s pussy.”

I couldn’t take it much longer, my hard cock was thickening inside her as my balls were beginning to contract while I took one more suck from her nipple, tasting her sweet milk in my mouth over my tongue. She could tell I wasn’t going to last much longer as she pushed her hips up hard and wrapped her legs around my ass pulling me in.

Pressing my cock into her wet hairy loose pussy as deep as it could go, I began to let go. My cock started to convulse inside her tightening pussy walls, spraying my second warm sticky cum deep into her pussy. Bucking her hips into me, Eunbi moaned as my cock pushed out more of my cum into her warm pussy.

As we subsided, we collapsed in each other’s arms laying on our sides. Eunbi was pressing her big soft luscious breasts against my chest as she smiled at me.

“Oh Tae,” she said softly. “You’ve no idea how happy you’ve made me.”

“No?” I replied with a smile.

“You filled my pussy with so much cum, I hadn’t had any for so long and now all this...oh god it feels so good,” she whispered with a big smile as she wiggled her hips against me.

Eunbi then reached her hand between her legs, plunging two of her fingers deep into her pussy coating them in the mixture of our juices. Pulling them out she brought them up to her mouth and slowly sucked the juices off of them, savoring the taste.

Smiling back at me with her gorgeous brown eyes after she sucked off the last of our juices on her two fingers, I pushed my naked body against hers as we slowly drifted off to sleep.

#eunbi smut #izone smut #kpop smut #girl group smut #female idol smut #male reader

[eratosmusings]

Stolen Destiny (IV)

summary: a proposal

warnings: adults only, all characters are over 18, past suicide, misogyny, allusions to murder, dark themes, canon typical violence, smut in future chapters

word count: 2k

previous chapter / dividers / masterlist

“The spitting image of your mother,” you hear more than once. Anger radiates from your father every time, yet he says nothing. He cannot in front of so many. How could he explain that the ghost of your mother fills him with such rage?

It’s a day spent in a stadium watching physical feats. It’s not all that entertaining in itself, but the guests are plied with drinks and food enough to not care. They place bets amongst themselves and you’re sure a few of them will end their visit here without a solari to their name. You want nothing more than to steal Irulan for the day, but duty kept her bound to the subjects who desired her attention. 

You weave through the crowd and let yourself be distracted by conversation with the lower houses. He watches. You can feel the weight of his gaze every time you smile or laugh or speak or breathe. 

“Looks like you’ve got someone’s attention,” one of the daughters giggles loudly. Others turn their heads. You brush it off and continue the conversation you’d been having about the next day's entertainment—an ancient play written before the Jihad.

The whispers of his attention follow you like his eyes. When it becomes overbearing you avoid it all and focus on the events in the arena. Men striking the ground with long poles to launch themselves over raised bars to see how far they land. The tightness in your shoulders eases when Feyd-Rautha finally breaks from the shadows. His looming figure shields you from the rays of the setting sun and the sight of intruding eyes as he stands beside you. “What uses would such a skill have?” he ponders. 

“Perhaps none,” you say. “But the strength they must build is noteworthy. These men train with swords and spears just as much as their poles.”

He hums in response as one of the men clears the bar. He lands the furthest you’ve seen, but his footing is poor. He doesn’t shout, though from his limp as walks away it’s evident the attempt injured him. “Perhaps they should train more on how they land.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Yes, perhaps.”

Together you watch in silence as the event rolls into the next.

“I must admit my surprise at your appearance today, my lady. I had thought you preferred a more subdued look.”

A man runs with a spear in hand. Inches from a line they’d drawn in the grass he throws it. “That is my father’s preference.” The tip embeds itself in the ground yards away. “Is it yours as well?”

He does not answer. He cannot. Paul invades the space between you. “Giedi Prime is a desolate place, my lady. Color and beauty do not survive under their black sun.” He is wrong. Beauty raised under that sun stands beside him. “You would be at place in Caladan. The sunset would envy your beauty.” That has nothing to do with what you had asked.

“I had not realized you were a poet,” Feyd-Rautha taunts and a smile nearly bends your lips.

“How could one not be in the presence of such a divine creature?”

“You are too kind.” You step away from him, wishing he’d have kept his distance. Had his stares not been enough? Would he not get the opportunity to humiliate you once again in a few hours? “If you’ll excuse me.” That’s all you leave them with. You can bear him no longer.

Fandral keeps a better eye on you. You’re barely down a flight of stairs before he is at your side. It’s a silent return to the castle. He has something to say, you see it in the way his mouth twitches every so often as he sits across from you in the vehicle, but he lets you enjoy the peace for a bit longer.

You have no choice in your evening attire. A dress that’s a sister to the ones the other women will wear. Makeup that will be seen from afar. It’s the only thing you don’t mind for the performance.

Despite your early departure, you’re late to the small room off the Great Hall. Fandral doesn’t question the delay. You suspect he knows the reason well enough now. Disapproval colors his cheeks. 

Your tardiness is unnecessary. Paul has not arrived yet. Still, the swordmaster reprimands you for it. You tune it out until you’re free. It’s a small comfort to see the woman with your swords again. She offers encouragement with them before retreating with the others. Enviously you watch. How you wish Irulan were here with you.

Paul arrives only minutes before your set to perform. He doesn’t receive the same scolding you had. He only has time to don his own swords while you and the others begin to file out. A small blessing.

You let your eyes unfocus as you step into the crowded hall. It’s better to not see the faces. Or his. Each pluck of a string and swirl of a skirt brings you closer to the end. As the clang echos when your swords meet for the first time, you think of how easy it would be to stab at his skin. The blade is dull, but with enough speed and force it wouldn’t be of much consequence. He didn’t have his shield.  

The thought ends as the sword once more slips out of your hand. His hand locks around yours and pulls. His chest presses against your back in a mockery of an embrace. Your eyes burn as they come back in focus. Or perhaps it’s the green fire in his as they bore into you from above.

The music wans and the applause rises. You try to escape his arms, but he holds firm. It’s a quick dip of his gaze that signals his intent. Your face moves an inch in time for his lips to brush against your cheek. Whistles echo in the deafening noise.

Feyd-Rautha watches from his seat at the head table. He’s too far to make out his face, but he’s impossible to not recognize. The degradation weighs heavy in your throat. A day ago he’d seen you as a worthy opponent. How must he see you now?

You’re freed from the cage of his arms. You bow with the others but do not stay. You cannot soak in the humiliation a moment longer.

Paul calls for you. You do not stop. Your name bounces off the walls of the corridor as you hope he’ll end his pursuit. But he does not allow such a reprieve. A hand grips your upper arm.

“Let me go,” you hiss, trying to pull free. He does not.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He rounds on you, confusion written in the lines of his face. “I was caught up in the moment. I’m sorry.” He means it. You do not care. “Return with me, please. It’s your celebration.”

“I cannot. I must return to my room.”

“Please. Irulan wishes to see you.”

Disgust sours your tongue. How poorly his father had raised him. “I am sure the princess would prefer you to return to her alone. She has had enough humiliation tonight, I think.”

His hand falls away. “Humiliation?” 

You scoff. “I understand it may be hard for you to understand, but no woman wants to see her future husband kiss another. Especially not in front of so many people.”

The bastard laughs. When he sees the unimpressed look on your face, he asks, “Have I not made my intentions obvious?” He smiles. “The dance is an old engagement tradition on Caladan.” He chuckles, shakes his head, and adds, “Well a condensed version. The old one was much longer.”

Time. That is what you tell him you need. And it is. To reverse it. To retract the knowledge of his impending proposal. To revoke the invitation extended to the Atreides. To undo his very conception. Time is all you need.

He misunderstands your shock for one of pleasure and allows you to return to your room unaccompanied. Fandral waits by the closed door. "Did you know?"

"The young lord mentioned his desire for a marriage yesterday. He asked I not tell you."

"And since when did you serve House Atreides?"

"It is a good match, my lady. You would be safe under his protection."

You push the door open. "You may return to your normal post, Fandral. I require a personal guard no longer."

Sleep comes only briefly. The wake in the dark, the image of an achromatic silhouette contrasted against the warm hues of sunrise embedded in your vision. You dress quickly and slip through the corridors. The sounds of the party still linger. It's too easy to go unnoticed and begin the hour-long hike. Every step springs forward a new emotion. Frustration. Despair. Disgust. Terror. Fury.

Solace as you hear a rock skitter across the path behind you. You continue on without looking back or calling to him. He knows you know. Nothing more needs to be said yet. You reach the same spot you'd picniced days before in that blissful silence. Only when the sky begins to color does he finally speak. "The sunrise on Geidi Prime is not so colorful."

"Like its people."

He grins that wide, black grin. "Yes, like its people."

The sun begins to crest over the horizon when you guide him to the canoe still tied to the end of the dock. He does not question as the oars break through the still surface. Even as the overgrown and greying marble pavilion comes into view. He eases the canoe onto the shore and gives his hand to help you disembark. How wonderful it is to touch him again. How dreadful to let it go again.

“My father had this built for my mother when they married.” You take the steps up the once grand gift. “He was so infatuated with her in the beginning. At least that’s what she told me.” You rest your hands against the railings and stare over the water. The marble is cool and coated with a layer of damp. “And then she gave birth to me.”

His warmth soaks into your back, hands resting on the rails beside yours. “He’d been promised a son.”

“One who would marry the emperor’s first born daughter and one day ascend the throne.”

His breath fans across your ear. “Your father was displeased.”

“He drove my mother to try again and again. But nothing. It drove her into madness. Tied rocks to her feet and walked into the water.” She hadn’t tied them well. They found her floating only a day after she went missing. “All for nothing. My father is the one incapable. All he has and will ever have is me.”

“More than he deserves.”

You turn in the small space he’s left between him and the railing. There is no more than an inch that separates your chests. The warmth of the sun makes you sweat. Or perhaps that is from his closeness. It would be a simple thing. A small tilt of your head, a gentle push forward. Lips pressing together. Your heart skips at the thought. The wind rustles through the leaves of the trees and breaks the trance.

"Paul Atriedes is going to ask for my hand."

"And it displeases you."

"Has he not taken enough? And now he wants to tie me to him for the remainder of my days? To submit to him and birth his own heir? How could that not displease me?"

"Deny him."

"My father will not allow that."

"Perhaps we needn’t worry what your father thinks. He enjoys his drink, yes? It is rather miraculous he has not had an accident yet."

Your smile, bright and wide, reflects on his face. How easy he is to manipulate. You hadn’t needed to suggest anything, the violence embedded in his blood coming to the conclusion on its own. “He does indeed. I fear his luck may not last much longer.”

your thoughts & reblogs are appreciated! 💕

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#feyd rautha x reader #feyd x reader #feyd rautha #feyd x you #dune part two

[honeytama]

coming out as bisexual + pride fest headcanons 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

noah sebastian/bad omens x gender neutral! reader

a/n: *ty to @hedonists for the pic and @exitwoundsx & @somewhere-diamond for the ideas. also, if someone wants to write more on this please do. i'm gonna be feral all month long.

content: fluff and a lil bit of bi anxiety

coming out as bisexual

noah and yourself have been together for a few months

the beginning of your relationship felt like a honeymoon, but lately you’ve felt somewhat closed off and anxious

there was tension between you two up until having your first argument

the argument was about something silly, really, it could be fixed with just a bit more communication

but once you've made up, you take the chance of demonstrating your trust in him and your need to share your feelings by coming out to him, finally

“oh, you’re bi?,” his eyebrows raise. “is that why you’ve been acting weird? you wanted to tell me?” he smiles.

you confirm that’s why and tell him you didn’t want to hide that side of your life from him anymore. you felt better having opened up to him, but you didn't want him to think any differently of you.

“i understand. you're still, Y/N, to me..." he pauses. "um, what does being bi mean for you?” he asks, curious.

you explain what it means to you and explain that you still love him no matter your attraction to another gender.

“you love me, Y/N?” he smiles, wide. he looks like he’s won the lottery.

you say yes, begrudgingly. knowing he’ll tease you about it for the next week.

“i love you, too,” he takes his hand in yours. “thank you for telling me. i love everything about you, just so you know. your sexuality doesn't change who you are or how I feel about you. i'm proud of you for being honest with me, and for being true to yourself.”

a weight falls right off your shoulders and you finally feel like you can breathe.

"i'm here for you always."

going to pride fest with bad omens

with pride month coming around the corner, you get brave and ask your friends to come with you to pride fest in that city this weekend

of course, you say “if you don’t want to go, it’s totally okay” or “sorry, I’m just really excited.”

but noah assures you not to apologize. “yeah, that would be fun. we’d love to go with you. you’ll just have to show us the ropes,” you hear noah laugh over the phone.

june rolls around and you're at your place with your friends from bad omens getting ready to head out to the festival in the afternoon

folio brought his own kaleidoscope glasses and will choose to wear iridescent glitter on his shoulders and cheeks. he opts to apply it himself.

jolly decides he wants his hair in braids after hearing how hot it will be, so noah and you help him braid his hair into pigtails. he chooses from one of the pride tees you have in your closet. maybe "be gay, do crime"

nicky is super jealous of folio's glasses, but he distracts himself by letting you paint on his arms different pride flags. he makes a joke about him being the one being tattooed this time. his shirt says, "lesbians eat what?!"

noah really wants to go shirtless.

you don't allow him to, knowing he'll burn and regret it in the morning.

so he opts to wear a classic white tank. nicholas and you team up to give noah a glitter middle part in his hair.

the fest ends up being a blast and you feel so supported by your friends

they all follow around like ducks and ask you questions when they're curious

their favorite parts are the parade and the drag queen performances

you even had them stop at an atm before the fest to get some cash to tip the queens

AHHHH my heart

#noah sebastian x reader #bad omens #bad omens x reader #jolly karlsson x reader #nick folio x reader #nicholas ruffilo x reader

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Hail storms

Requested: No

Warnings: Spicy 🌶, Religious themes (Kyle’s), Oral Sex (Kyle’s) Toxic relationships (Simon’s), Angry Sex (Simon’s), Bondage (Alejandro’s), Spit Kink (Alejandro’s)

Characters: Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, Simon “Ghost” Riley, Alejandro Vargas

Word Count: 1,448

A/N: New layout, woooooo!!!

Gaz - I’m Not An Angel

I wasn't always this way

I used to be the one with the halo

The weight of the gold cross on his clavicle burned as he watched you from across the pub, the sound of Soap’s laughter, of Price’s scolding words, of Ghost’s heavy breathing, it all faded into the background. Like the static of an old radio that you could never tune quite right. But you, you were clarity. The perfect pitch of some singer rising above the other soft noises.

He’d never had a one night stand before. Thought about it, prayed about it, but he could never bring himself to do it. Could never bring himself to let himself taste the sweet fruit of sin that he so often craved. The same one his pastor warned him of when he was but a boy, years before the man that sat in his place now. But he finds himself crossing that threshold now, the devil tugging him closer, a marionette on cursed strings.

“Hi.” He says, as he sits beside you, fingers trembling as he holds onto his mug of cheap beer. “I’m Kyle.”

But that disappeared when I had my first taste

And fell from grace

The taste of you in his mouth was sweeter than anything he had ever had, more than the grapes his mother used to pack in his lunch tin when he was younger, but yet you were also more bitter than the wine that followed communion bread. Innocence turned to pain and fear and blood. But none of it could ever be more holy than. No holy relic would ever be able to bring him to his knees the way flesh between your thighs did.

And when you ran your nails through the stubble of his hair, your eyes piercing and heavy as you stared down at him, he knew the cross he wore meant nothing anymore. A false idol, trying to take your rightful place in his heart. He squirmed impossible closer, tongue out as he panted for air, so desperate to keep tasting you that he was barely a centimeter away.

The chain of his cross broke easy under the grip of his fist, and he heard the soft ting of it hitting the floor, before it was lost to him.

It left me in this place

I'm starting to think, maybe you like it

Kyle woke last the next day, an unusual occurrence considering his line of work. The smell of freshly brewed earl grey curling pleasantly in his nostrils, rousing him from the pleasant warmth of your bed, flaccid cock hanging at his thigh when he slips out from beneath the sheets.

“Love?” He mumbles, feet dragging on the ground, feeling all too much like a newborn lamb, limping after its shepherd after just being born. Like the world was made anew, with you as his guiding light.

And that light led him to the kitchen, where you leaned against the counter, dangling his cross between your pretty fingers.

Meeting his eyes as you let it slip into the trash.

Ghost - I Miss The Misery

When you tell me you'll make it worse

(I'd rather fight all night than watch the TV)

The front door slammed open, your shoulder blades digging painfully into the hardwood as Simon rammed you into it, his hands ripping away at your clothes (clothes he bought you, clothes he loved on you, clothes he always loved to take off), your own tearing away at his skin, nails shredding away at skin like cheap paper, leaving raw bloody lines on his back that were sure to sting .

Some bitter and angry part of you hopes that the next time he tries to have a sleazy fuck with someone else, that they’ll see this. See what you do to him. And know that they’ll always be insufficient by comparison.

Cause no matter how hard you fought, no matter how loud you got. There was a simple truth you needed everyone to know about him.

He was yours. Now. Always. Forever.

I hate that feeling inside

You tell me how hard you'll try

“Promise I’ll get better.” He’s whispered in your ear countless times, curled around you after the latest round of angry sex, clinging to you like a lifeline, like he hadn’t had his hands curled around your throat not even half an hour ago as he told he how much you pissed him off, how much he hated you. “Never do it again. Promise, Love.”

And it was always a lie.

But he promised everytime, even knowing it was futile, fragile, already broken. Floating in the air like the moans you let out in the bedroom, under him with his teeth buried in your shoulder. Fucking you like he wanted to kill you with his dick. Headboard slamming into the wall so hard it cracked, brittle paint chips falling to the floor. And you couldn’t deny how god damn good it felt, everytime you fought your way back towards each other. Like opposing magnets, like heaven and hell.

But when we're at our worst

I miss the misery

The morning after, he was in the front room of the house, grouching and grumbling loudly about how he had to fix the hole the doorknob made again. His side of the bed was still warm from his gargantuan body, making you curl into it, seeking him and his heat out without specifically calling for him, though you knew he would come running with only a word from your sore lips. Eager to flee back to your side and crawl above you once more.

You smiled into the pillows, one full of teeth and mischief.

You couldn’t wait to do it all over again.

Alejandro - Do Not Disturb

Let's take our clothes off

I wanna show you my hidden tattoo

“This is cute.” You chuckled against his lips, back pressed firmly against the cool wall of his apartment, running your fingers over the crow tattoo that arched over his broad hip. The beady eye of the mischievous avian staring right back at you.

“Yes, what every man wants to hear during sex. Cute.” Alejandro laughed in return, darkened hazelnut eyes gaining a hint of amusement as he took your hand and placed it right on the patch of black ink. “Go ahead, touch it. You’re the only one that’ll ever get to see it.”

“Only me, huh?” You cooed in an almost mocking tone of voice, raking your nails along the razor sharp feathers of the ink bird. His skin jiggling pleasantly for you when you reared your hand back to give his ass a playful little slap, the sound of it reverberating in the room along with his grunt. “Well, aren’t I just honored?”

That nobody ever gets to see but you do

Oh baby let me taste ya, shake ya, tie you up and break ya

Hands tied above your head with a silk tie, his silk tie. A brilliant deep blue that stood out against the barebones gray sheets and pillowcases. Blue digging into your wrists in a delicious combination of pain mingling with pleasure. The same as his hips slapping against you with every inward thrust.

“Such a good pretty thing you are.” He huffs, leaning forward and pressing your knees to your chest, constricting your airflow just the smallest bit, white starbursts flashing behind your eyelids. “Letting me tie you up and have my way like this. Gonna let me spit in your mouth next?”

In response, you simply opened your mouth and let your tongue roll out.

'Cause I've been alone, left on my own for too long

Oh damn, too long, too long, too long, I say come on

“Come on.” He huffed, tweaking your nipple, grazing his teeth over the thin skin that stretched over your collarbone, a bruise or two sure to form with how rough he was being. “Come on, come on, come on.”

And come you did, with seizing muscles and flailing legs, a high pitched cry crawling out from your lungs and bursting out your swollen mouth, tears streaming down your cheeks in rivers as you throw your head back in ecstasy. Barely even noticing the way his hips started to stutter before he spilled inside of you, thick white seed covering your insides. Rolling his hips a few more times to really push it all in before he pulls out and collapses beside you, narrowly missing crashing on top of you.

“So….” You start after a few minutes of you both catching a breath, turning to him with sparkling eyes and a mischievous grin. “Round two?”

#cod #call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader

[ahqkas]

Ooh! A cute little fluff thing where f!reader’s eyes sometimes drift? Y’know how like people with lazy eye(s) look different ways, yeah kinda like that. And she’s so insecure about it because some of the students look at her weirdly but mattheo thinks it’s adorable since it’s apart of her and she can’t really change it. It ends up with him calling her his little “Dino” because of how one of those dinosaurs had a weird way of looking straight. (P.s sorry if the nickname is weird, I just think it’s a cute little thing hehe)

-💕

MEND YOUR INSECURITIES ; mattheo riddle

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST!

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

THE HOGWARTS CORRIDORS WERE BUSTLING WITH STUDENTS HURRYING TO THEIR NEXT CLASS, the air filled with the usual chatter and laughter. You walked with your head slightly lowered, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. It was something you had done for as long as you could remember, a way to shield yourself from the stares and whispers you received by kids who haven’t matured yet. A stupid, childish action on their parts. Your eyes had a tendency to drift, sometimes making it seem like you were looking in two different directions. You had grown painfully aware of how some of the students would give you strange looks, and it made you feel self-conscious.

You had never spoken about it to anyone, not even to Mattheo, your boyfriend. Despite his constant reassurance and his unwavering support, you feared he might see you differently if he truly understood how much it affected you. But Mattheo was perceptive, and he had noticed your discomfort long ago.

One afternoon, as you sat together in the library, you found yourself fidgeting with a loose thread on your robe. Mattheo was studying a Potions book for an upcoming exam, his brow furrowed in concentration. You glanced up at him, your eyes inadvertently drifting. When you caught sight of his gaze, you quickly looked away, heat rising to your cheeks as you did so.

"Hey," he said softly, closing his textbook and turning his attention to you. "What's on your mind?"

You shook your head, forcing a smile. "Nothing, just thinking."

"About?" he pressed, his eyes gentle and curious.

You hesitated, biting your bottom lip. "It's silly."

"Try me," he encouraged, reaching out to take your hand in his, his thumb caressing the skin of your knuckles.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to let the words spill out. "It's just . . . my eyes. They sometimes drift, and people look at me weirdly because of it. I know it's not a big deal, but it makes me feel so insecure."

Mattheo's expression softened, and he squeezed your hand gently. "It's not silly. I understand why it bothers you, princess.”

You looked up at him, surprised by his understanding. "You do?"

"Of course," he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. "But you know what? I think it's adorable."

Your eyes widened in surprise at his words. "Adorable? How?"

He chuckled, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand. "It's a part of you, something unique that makes you, well, you. And I love every part of you."

You felt your heart swell with warmth at his words. "But what about those people who look at me strangely?"

"Forget about them," Mattheo said firmly. "They're missing out on seeing how wonderful you are. And you know I can fight."

"Thank you, Mattheo. You always know how to make me feel better."

"Always," he said with a grin. "And you know what else? I think I’m going to start calling you my little Dino."

You blinked, a puzzled smile forming on your lips. "Dino?"

"Yeah," he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You know how some dinosaurs had a unique way of looking straight? It reminds me of you, in the best way possible."

You laughed, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. "That's the silliest thing I've ever heard."

"But it makes you smile," he pointed out, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. "And that's all that matters."

And while the stares and whispers from others might never completely disappear, you knew you had something far more important: someone who loved you exactly as you were, and that made all the difference.

#mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle masterlist #mattheo riddle blurb #mattheo riddle headcanon #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle #mattheo x reader #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin x reader #slytherin boys #slytherin #harry potter x you #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #hp x reader #x reader #reader insert

[welcomedepression]

Cw: 18+ Only! MDNI! Smut!

GhostxReader!

"The rain is coming down hard. It looks like we'll be spending the night in this cave." I sigh and sit down on the hard ground.

Ghost looks around. "We have no choice.." he sits down beside you, the sound of the rain is loud, the air is damp, and the rocks are slick

"Why are you so distant?" I look at him. it's a question that has been plaguing my mind.

He stays  silent for a moment, his mask covering any emotion that may be displayed. His face, he finally answers you in a monotone, cold voice. "I've seen a lot of things. Some people would break if they saw what I had."

"I understand that, I just wish you weren't so cold towards me, I hate when you make me feel like I'm not a part of the squad." I sigh, but my eyes never leave his.

he gets up and paces around. He's breathing heavily, he's fighting some kind of internal battle, then he finally sits down again. "i can't...... i can't get close to you, i cant do it. "

"What about Captain Soap? Don't you trust him?" I look at him curious.

He hesitates. "Yes, but.. something about you.. I can't figure it out.." He looks away, his cold eyes hidden by the shadow of his mask.

"What do you mean by that?" I was confused.

he looks at you, he's looking at you with eyes of pain, pain he hasnt let out. "I- i dont know,  i feel like i could trust you, but i've been hurt before."

"Don't let fear dictate your actions. I'm sorry if I came on too strong, but I know you can trust me." I smiled and pat his shoulder.

he looks at the ground. "I don't think you know the weight of what you're saying,  the pain i've gone through. It's made me like this." He gestures at himself.

"I know, but you're not alone." I squeeze his hand.

He sighed, "Do you mind if I remove my mask?"

"Go ahead, it's just us two." I smiled.

He reaches up and take off his mask, he turns to look at me, his brown eyes meet yours, there's a small scar above my left eyebrow, his hair is messy, voice is still monotone and cold. "There we go, better?"

"Your hair is messy. "I chuckled.

He rolled his eyes playfully "yeah, I know, I was attacked by a tiger, then I had to get out of a cave and then run all the way here, I didn't have time to brush it!" He chuckled along with you. His eyes still are cold and distant, but they're not as emotionless as before.

Asmile breaks across my face as I laugh, "You're bad at lying."

He laughs, "Yeah, yeah, I'm a liar, but at least I'm a funny liar, unlike Captain Soap, he's got no humor." He teases.

"We should start a fire and get out of these wet clothes." *I was shivering."

Later

We started a fire and a makeshift clothes line.

Slowly undressing, I stopped midway as I looked at ghost, my eyes widened with horror, half of his muscular body was molted, reddish, purple hue overshadows his light skin.

"Oh my god, ghost! Your scars!" He looked over at me, at my reaction. He wonders if I'm disgusted.

Ghost looks away, "I-its fine, please dont worry about it."

"I'm sorry to pry, it's just i've never seen so many scars on someone before.. it must've been hell." I look at him with a face of disdain.

Ghost sighs, "It's a long story, but yes, I've experienced a lot. It's made me who I am today."

my fingertips brushed over the molted flesh, the uneven flesh is taut and slightly bumpy. "They're beautiful, all of them, every inch of you."

He suddenly freezes. He's shocked that you'd call such horrible scars beautiful.

I replaced my fingertips with my lips, kissing the delicate skin, slightly gliding my tongue across the disfigured chest. "Beautiful"

Ghost is stunned by the sudden action. "w-why?.. I'm all.. broken, scarred, not good-looking, I'm a mess."

"You're the only man that I want to be with." I kiss his from his collarbone up to his neck, nipping at his flesh.

Ghost blushes, "You really think that?.. I've never been good enough for anyone."

I kiss his cheek, "You're perfect to me." I place a hand behind his head and pull him in, kissing him passionately.

he kisses back, his heart beating like crazy "I-I thought, you'd find me disgusting."

I pull away slightly, looking up into his eyes

"There's not a single part of you that isn't beautiful."

Ghost hesitates, then pulls you in for another kiss, wrapping his arms around you tightly. Suddenly, I feel my back make contact with the damp ground. I run my hands up and across his chest, sharing a passionate kiss.

Later

Our bodies are one, as our moans fill the cave like a choir as the rain plays like a symphony, The undeniable pleasure rocks both of us to our core. Ghost spread my legs wide open so that his thrusts would go deeper and deeper as I moaned and whimpered.

"Slow down, we have all night."

He didn't slow down. Ghost loved rough sex.

Making sure I'd feel ever inch of his throbbing hard cock stretching my tight velvet walls.

"You're so tight, fuck!" Ghost grunted, not long before I felt the jagged ground of the cave digging into my knees as he fucks me behind in doggy style, having a fistful of my hair as he slaps my ass periodically.

As time progress so did our urge to climax, holding onto him tightly as we reached our peak together, collapsing against his chest.

Aftermath

Ghost smiles as he pulls you back into a kiss, and he whispers, "Promise one thing, y/n."

"Yes, what is it?" I look into his eyes, wondering what he wanted me to promise.

Ghost looks you in the eyes. He seems serious, the smile gone from his face, his voice low and serious. "If anything ever happened, if I was gone or hurt, or something, you'd never leave me, right?

"I promise, whatever happens, you're stuck with me." I whisper.

"I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Simon."

-THE END

#simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x you #ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost smut #cod fanfic #cod smut #cod fic #cod fluff #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #18+ content #18+ only #18+ account #18+ blog

[goldiipond]

graduated 2 years late but who caares im FREEE i can do wjatever i want. i can do anything. i am going to draw my little characters

#skye's ramblings #such a massive weight off my shoulders oogh im gonna cry. its over the plague was simply a temporary setback. fuck the plague. i win #this on top of recent health bullshit has taken a lot out of me n im already feeling better than i have in a while. FUUCK iwant to CREATE!! #idk if im going to pursue college at all (was at college but it was like. a credit recovery program thing. because am special <3 #i just want to focus on my art maan its all ive ever wanted. if i step foot into another school i will simply spontaneously combust <3 #still processing my emotions but just imagine me yelling really big. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKK YEAHHH. YEAH

[loppiopio]

found these while fixing up the photos for the main post and thought they were cute so why not share some other process images for this one.

#shizaya #a cheap imitation #i made a thing #chapter 47 #processpit #just came up with that one idk #thought it was a little fun #didn't want to just leave it as just “process” #tbh i kinda feel like #the sketch tests had better balance in the jars than the final #mostly referring to shizuo leaning over the jar #and izaya all !! inside the jar #balancing shizuo was difficult i had to attach a little masking tape weight to his back #lol i don't have a photo of it on hand but the hanging shizuo has a spine #made of q-tip sticks (i cut off the cotton bits) #one for his back and one for his head #it's kinda funny to me #but also oh my gooood getting that guy to hold on to the cork #not easy #paper shizuo can't handle it too well it pulls at his shoulder joint and now it's kinda worn #i think izaya in the jar was kinda way better in the sketch #but i was struggling to draw him at all so #i asked a friend to help out which changed the shape of it quite a bit #HE'S TOO WIDE #he doesn't fit in the jar right 😭 #i snipped the edges of him as much as i could handle but #:c

[jirai-kei-freak]

why does it have to be this way

#Why #I was doing so good this past year #There were times I was literally crying tears of joy because I haven’t felt as happy as I was in years #Now shit’s coming back and I don’t like it #Every fucking time man #“Well life is supposed to have its ups and downs” HAVE YOUVE WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH #summer through all the way to the end of 2023 was one of two of the most miserable times I ever went through #I was almost never happy #Had cheap laughs for like 20 minutes then back to misery #There wasn’t a single day were I didn’t wish i was dead #Literally I would wake up and i immediately wanted to start crying #Thats how bad things were #You could see it in my face how lonely and miserable i was #I hadnt felt that empty for like a good few years since then #It was to the point where I thought there was never going to be light in my life ever again #I went through some fucked up shit and now im traumatized 10x more then i was before #The first day of school was a weak after some extremely traumatic stuff happened man #Then the new year started and everything was starting to get better #I started taking medication #I was much more happier #My self esteem boosted up #I started working on myself and became a better person #I dont think i ever had a period of my life where i felt THAT BETTER #Like I said i was crying because I had felt a massive weight lifted off my shoulders #It literally felt like i saw the light #I legitimately thought things were getting truly getting better #It’s just gonna be the same damn cycle over and over again huh? #For several months I feel depressed as shit #Then for a few months things start to clear up #Then suddenly and abruptly things go back to the shit

[blujayonthewing]

waoh boy I love to sleep in my bed in my bedroom with my husband and just simply not actually sleep even a little bit because my body is hurts

#cool and good! neat and fun #I started sleeping in the guest room to see if the old bed would be better #but it's been so long that at this point it was just habit and continually forgetting to clear a bunch of my laundry off my side of the bed #I thought!! maybe!! it would be fine!! maybe with a body pillow and with my pillow not overstuffed and with better sleep position...! #AND LIKE. I'd put up with Aches tbqh. but I can't FALL asleep so I'm just simply fucked #and justin snores which okay was always a problem for me but now also I am a couple of months used to not hearing it #so I CANNOT fall asleep because Sounds and then also that keeps me up long enough that MY BODY. IS HURTS. and then I REALLY can't sleep #and it's FRUSTRATING it's WEIRD it's not like the bed feels immediately uncomfortable to lay in #and like I end up with pain in my foot and I start to notice it when I'm not even laying ON that same hip #and other things like that where like. I can't even tell what exactly the problem even IS #the discomfort is all too weird and displaced around my body to draw any obvious conclusions about its source #and I swear I'm sleeping in the same positions as I do in the other bed! and trying to angle my weight off my hips! #I'm a side sleeper in theory but in practice I've become more of a belly sleeper because of the way I end up tilting my hips and shoulders #we have a king sized bed! it's not like I'm trying to squeeze into a smaller space even!! #AUUGHH. IT'S NOT FAIR. I DON'T WANNA BE A SEPARATE BEDROOMS COUPLE IT BUMS ME OUT SO BAD I WANNA CUDDLE MY BOY #I just don't know what else to do #HE sleeps better and more pain free in this bed than any other bed he's been in since we started dated (including at other houses etc) #so it's not as simple as 'get a new bed' either :') #about me

[vzajemnik]

i wonder why it is that im way more forgiving towards myself when it comes to gender and not at all when its about sexuality

#🗞️ #like when my gender and or gender expression changes im like ok cool. whatever man #and when its sexuality i go into panic mode and feel like a fraud yet again #like idk.....ive lived as a bisexual for my whole life basically. and now that i feel like im a lesbian i feel. idk like i maybe + #should stick with the bisexual label just for the hell of it and just not date men.....but thats just not right yknow like being bisexual + #just isnt me anymore. and when i made that coming out post last week or whenever it was i did it because i felt like id choke and die if i + #didn't tell somebody that im a lesbian #and also idk i feel like such a fraud too bc i know me being a lesbian is a result of trauma and sa and whatever. so it feels ingenuine tome #but it isnt all bad like i feel so liberated and free being able to call myself a lesbian. a weight has been lifted off my shoulders forsure #but still. idk. okay i feel a bit better now i needed to get this off my chest #it also started fucking raining again I HATE HOLDING AN UMBRELLA AUGHHHH

[mothusband]

it seems unbelievable but it's true: sometimes it's not all that bad and the world actually starts working in your favor for once

#found a local therapist who works with lgbtq+ patients and got in contact today and im the last person shes taking. holy shit. #combined with all the other mental health assistance im finally getting now after years of waiting i just feel a lot better and more secure #also i came out to someone for the first time yesterday which was. well very surreal and a lot but wow do i feel so much better for it. #just having someone else who knows and is 100% accepting and in my corner feels like having the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders #i have hope for myself for the first time since i was a kid. maybe its not forever yknow? maybe it does get better sometimes

[noxtivagus]

YK WHAT URGH

#instead of letting the loneliness i've been feeling for all these years tie me down #i'll use it as material to craft my own wings #and. there's no need to fly near the sun anyways #even if i fall and drown then that's better than getting close #hsjfjdjjs writinf inspo again #i wna listen to more artists like we are the fallen and hozier bcs i love the lyrics #n read books. read more mythology again #i need to write. before i enivitably leave #maybe another lonely soul a century for now would find and read it #sigh this feels so freeing #i don't care anymore i don't care #i was lying to myself about that last month but #now i really don't care. and finally i feel a bit more free. some weight taken off my shoulders #but at the same time idk if i'm exaggerating or just dramatic bcs i'm often like that #i like writing like this. #it's both rather destructive and healing. a mix of realness and fiction. #but it's me. that's what matters. these are my words. my thoughts #written from hands no other than my own. born from these memories and emotions across time #from my life. what exists n what's just a figment of my mind. of fragments of what could've become reality #i believe all that defines me #and i'm me so. i'll embrace and accept all that as well #this world's not made for people like me #too cruel for the wishers and the dreamers. #but stay true to myself n i'll leave my own pure and real legacy #and i'll make it through to the end. walking the path i've forged on my own #if i can't live properly in the rules of this world #then i'll live in my own. the one in my head. i'll rise #the dreamers are the ones that'll live beyond the shackles of our fragile existence #the ones that'll see beyond the edge of the sky. with sould deeper than the ocean. minds more complex than the world around them #maybe i don't belong in this world. maybe i'm meant to be in the stories i write in my head. but i'll live in what way i can

[romeoandromeo]

.

#I'm at my God damn breaking point #we just had an argument because all of a sudden he doesn't want to find a job because I make better money WORKING TWO JOBS #after he literally promised me he'd find a job so i wouldn't have to work two and he would take the weight off my shoulders #i literally found a position at school for him that's literally only 2 hours a day and makes $14/hr #only 2 hours!!!!! #that's literally all I'm asking is bare minimum effort i just feel like he doesn't give a fuck about me

[dhampir-dyke]

.

#so wild to me that my redneck psilocybin therapy is actually working lmfao #like despite it all my mental health is insanely better and im not taking literally any psych meds. just a gram of psilocybin every #3/4 weeks in a relaxing/positive setting and a bit of mindfulness #my general constant anxiety and depression has decreased in severity by leaps and bounds- and while my cptsd/trauma responses are still #really hard on me- theyve also improved a bit. i feel like i mentally recover from them faster. i might be debilitated by a really bad #flashback/trauma response for like a day instead of a week or more #i generally feel more idk. productive? like. okay abt an hour ago i took abt 1 g of shrooms and i managed to like. do basic hygiene and #clean my apartment a bit and do some dishes. obv my perception of things is a little wonky bc. yknow. shrooms #but all in all i just feel better. like a weight is off my shoulders and i can actually be a little productive and kind to myself. #obviously anyone who tries to medicate w psilocybin without guidance from a doctor should be so careful. before i started i was #playing hell bc of the insane amt of mental illness- particularly psychosis- that runs on both sides of my family. i could have easily been #predisposed to some kinda mental breakdown/psychotic episode thatd be induced by psilocybin. you have to be careful. #but this was kindof a last ditch effort anyways lmfao- i took the risk knowing i might fuck myself up. #but!!!! it has helped me so much. just 3 months and i dont wanna kill myself anymore- after 15+ years of being actively suicidal

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader

Simon needing to hold you after a bad day.

The tiny apartment was completely silent as Simon unlocked the door and stepped inside, head hung low and shoulders tense. Lights were turned down, tv was off; you were most likely already asleep by now. It was late, much later than he had told you he’d be back, but he had been struggling with the weight of his thoughts again today and had barely made it in. He would have let you know that he was going to be late… it was just…he couldn’t find the will to even shoot you a quick text.

It wasn’t like him to be concerned about who knew where he was or what he was doing, choosing to distance himself from everything and everyone that could potentially catch a glimpse of him cracking behind the mask, but right now all he wanted was to get back to the place he called home before he fell apart and the world would swallow him whole.

As quietly as he could he set his things down beside the door and continued on through the flat, catching little bits of you everywhere: your shoes lying scattered by the wall, the blanket you’d just been curled up in tossed haphazardly in a bundle on the sofa, a mug on the coffee table that had the remnants of your drink stuck to the inside. Scattered bits of you everywhere across his life as little reminders of what he had that waited for him here and for the first time all day it felt a little easier to breathe to know his angel was close by.

Passing near the kitchen, Simon spotted a piece of paper with his name scribbled on the front waiting for him on the countertop, your familiar handwriting obvious to his eye. He picked it up and unfolded it.

Hey baby,

I really tried to stay up, I promise, but you know how work has been kicking my ass lately. I thought maybe I could just take a nap until you got in, but I was worried that if I laid down I wouldn’t wake up, so I thought I’d leave this here for you to find. Didn’t want you to think I forgot about you. Just wake me when you get in, alright? I don’t care what time it is, I want to see you!

Love you.

P.S. I left some dinner in the fridge if you haven’t eaten yet. We can reheat it and eat it together. XOXO 

Christ, what did he do to deserve all this?

Always looking out for him, always making sure he had a place back in the real world whenever he came home. He held that piece of paper between his hardened fingers, the note more significant than it should have been after the type of day he had. You were the closest to heaven as he could get, more than he ever thought he would get to have and that’s why it was you he was trying to break down that wall to come to for comfort. 

His sight flicked to the fridge where you said you’d left him something; he was definitely starving, but just the thought of the effort it would take to eat right now was too much and the knot that rested in the pit of his stomach made him too nauseous anyway. There was something that would fill him far better than food could and he knew just where to find it now.

Moving on to the living room, he set himself down heavily on the couch and began to remove his boots and the outer layers of his clothing along with his mask, stripping away all the bits of his life as the stone cold sniper now that he was safe here in his little sanctuary. Stripped bare until he was down to his boxers, Simon gently crept towards the back of the apartment hoping he would make it to the bedroom before this feeling took him. 

Closer and closer he walked towards the other half of his heart.

The door stood slightly ajar to invite him inside and as he stepped up to it, he caught the hushed, rhythmic sounds of your breathing as you slumbered. It sounded so peaceful that he could have stood there in the dimly lit hallway and listen to it all night long. Just a few more steps, barely any distance left, and he would truly be home.

The room was completely dark save for the small crack in the curtains that let in just a bit of light from the streetlamp outside, helping him to find his way through the maze of darkness. As those brown eyes adjusted to the lack of light, Simon turned his attention to the bed and his heart skipped a beat. There you were: the outline of your body silhouetted under the covers, your head buried in your pillow, all cares left behind as you slept.

No sound did he make as he crept to the edge of the bed and lifted the sheets so that he could climb inside and up against your body laying in the center. One strong arm slipped up under your pillowed head while the other wrapped around your waist until you were encircled and he pulled you slowly so that your back rested up against his chest. His body molded into yours still warm from being wrapped up tight.

You stirred awake gently at the feeling of that familiar large body suddenly laying beside you. “Hey you,” you whispered sleepily, a smile on your lips as your eyes fluttered as they worked to open. “Tried to wait up, but I got so tired I had to go lay down. I’m sorry, but I’ll make it up to you.”

Only silence greeted you as a response. No chuckle at your predictability, no picking remarks about how you couldn’t even stay up to see him, just the sound of labored breaths in and out as he lay there in the darkness curled up against you.

Silence only meant one thing and you knew it well.

“You okay baby?” you asked, but again there was no answer. Only the squeeze of his arm around your waist pulling you in tighter to his chest gave you any sort of reply as Simon’s nose nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his eyelashes brushing over your skin.

It was clear just from the silence that he was far from okay, that he must have been bottling this up for God knows how many hours so that the world would not see that he was not always the tough, put together soldier he was supposed to be. But he could not hide it from you...he didn't want to hide it from you.

You heard him inhale deeply, trying to capture as much of your scent as he could until it filled his head: your natural musk mixed with the smell of the sheets and added hints of shampoo and body wash. That comforting scent that belonged to only you that he couldn't ever get enough of, the one that helped to relax his troubled mind. Instantly the tension he had been carrying like a boulder upon his shoulders all day finally released him from its stranglehold. 

Gentle, exploring hands tentatively went up under your baggy shirt, one of his old worn ones you loved to wear to bed to keep him close even when he wasn’t there, as he just wanted to make contact with all that delicately soft skin. He traced over curved paths he knew by touch alone: it was soft, it was familiar, it was safe and his heartbeat slowed as the ache in his chest dissipated enough that he could finally talk.

“Bad day,” he whispered finally, warm breath against your shoulder. "Really fuckin' bad day... again."

You rolled over in his arms until you came face to face with those sad auburn eyes, moved by the shame in his tone. It broke your heart that each time he had one of these days he felt such guilt about it, as if he simply should have been over it all by now, as if he wasn't human, but you were not about to let him overthink the struggle. There was nothing to be shameful about.

“I’m sorry baby. These things just happen, you know, but its alright; we'll get through it together, ” you said quietly, fingertips gently running over the line of his eyebrow, down his cheekbone and further to his jaw in soothing circles.

Together.

Simon closed his eyes and eased into your hand as you traced patterns across his temple and through the cropped sides of his hair, letting the vile, churning thoughts rummaging around in his brain to fall away. No one else could ever see him like this save for you, no one else's touch he craved more than anything to bring him back into himself after the day had brought him down so low. 

He brought his hand up and placed the tough palm over top of yours to hold it firmly against his cheek as if to make sure that all of this was real, that you were not simply a mirage cast by his broken mind. 

“You’re home now, baby,” you reassured him as he took deep breaths in and out with his eyes closed, only wanting to feel you. “It’s gonna be okay, I got you.”

Home, still such a strange word for him.

Wherever you were that was home. Not a place, but a person, one who made certain that no matter how far he drifted she would always pull him back in. Simon had never had such a tether before, but fuck did he need it. He could feel it like medicine running through his blood, when you held him he could feel the chemicals rush to soothe the gaping wound in his heart.

Pulling your hand off his cheek, he brought it to his mouth and pressed his lips to the surface before leaning in to give one to your gentle lips. You embraced him back with such tenderness as if to remind him of that promise you had made to each other that neither of you would have to traverse the hell of this world alone.

“Home,” he repeated the tender word in his gravely tone, letting the emotionless second mask fall away. "I hope ya know... that you are my home, sweetheart."

You smiled. "You're mine too, Simon."

He took a deep breath, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat. "Bein' near ya is the only fuckin' thing that seems to help quiet the shit in my 'ead these days."

Pulling him back in, you gave him another kiss. "Then get nice and close," you said softly as you squirmed up under him more, setting his arm back over you.

Securing his arms around you again he moved over top of you so that his head rested against the middle of your chest, ear pressed in against your sternum to listen to your heartbeat rhythmically thump inside. With his hand still inside your shirt he drew his fingertips along your bare hips, not wanting anything more than your company tonight. 

Your calming fingers ran through his short hair and over his scalp as he counted the beats of your heart until he melted into your body. Discussion could happen later if and when he was ready, for now this was all he needed. However long he wanted to cling to your torso, you’d let him.

You were his life raft, pulling him back in and no matter how far he drifted and it was because of you that for the first time in his life he didn’t feel like he was going to get lost.  

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