#but between this and an extreme piece of bloody vent art I rather post this

[girlyliondragon]

Sapphire isn't used to love letters much less affection in any way considering a lot of people want nothing to do with her nowadays or scared her away further into self-isolation. But the deeply suppressed hopeless romantic part of her sprang up -albeit reluctantly- as a result of the letter that somehow popped up. Who could it be???

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This does not involve any former fictional love I had in the past.

A personal doodle with vague self-ship implications as is intended. I don't date irl people anymore as I think it's best for others to not have to deal with me. But regarding the not-irl world I've had this damn bastard of a character in my head for... a month now? Even tho they've been my childhood during the late 90s - very VERY early 2000s when I was little probs because I didn't know f/os were a thing, and they've only just stated making me crush on them this year. Which is all well and good because I miss the feeling so much. But I don't really talk about them much at all and even less want to even hint at who they are outside of extremely vague shit that could apply to anyone else because frankly the only way I feel safe loving 2D in such away again without having people make me feel like I'm a freak who shouldn't feel negative emotions is to keep it all to myself.

Also this doodle takes an anti-social extremely misanthropic cryptid with relationship problems & believes she doesn't deserve any sort of happiness and pairs her with a sudden strange love letter and was an interesting combo because she's not trusting at all and is dealing with an array of emotions like I've been.

Art/OC: Mine

Do not steal/crop/edit/etc. Do not tag as kin/me

#Sapphire (Fursona) #Em Doodles #I take self-shipping very seriously because it's such a huge part of my life that shaped me to who I am #not to mention my brain sees and materializes the characters into a whole thing with them to where they literally feel real #to where I have entire lives with them. Like living with them. Socializing with them. Talking about them as if they were real and happy #plus I cannot love myself without it as it feels fake and performative otherwise #I don't like that I'm at the point of being afraid of a means to love myself in a coping-mechanism sort of way. #especially not if it was originally a thing to make me feel wanted that I'm now struggling to hold on to (I want this to be long term ffs) #and yet the fact that it's a problem for others shows me that people literally will not get me even when I explain everything #it's like hiding your s/o. I've already had to do that irl with my longest bf. it's why I don't like doing it with my fictional others #it's not JUST a coping mechanism it's literally my best means for a healthy relationship and I wish outside forces didn't make it difficult #real people have almost always hurt me while fictional characters never did. I do not care. I prefer the former over the latter ANY day #the only exception are those that haven't but they're very veeeeeery few. Like three fingers or something few #But oh well. Guess the only way to do that now is to keep it to myself #note btw that Sapphire is still a character built off my stil current extremely depressive state and thus won't be seen happy all that ofte #this is already pushing the line and even then I'm not comfortable still talking about stuff like this now #but between this and an extreme piece of bloody vent art I rather post this