#real people have almost always hurt me while fictional characters never did. I do not care. I prefer the former over the latter ANY day

[girlyliondragon]

Sapphire isn't used to love letters much less affection in any way considering a lot of people want nothing to do with her nowadays or scared her away further into self-isolation. But the deeply suppressed hopeless romantic part of her sprang up -albeit reluctantly- as a result of the letter that somehow popped up. Who could it be???

----------------------------------------------------------------------

This does not involve any former fictional love I had in the past.

A personal doodle with vague self-ship implications as is intended. I don't date irl people anymore as I think it's best for others to not have to deal with me. But regarding the not-irl world I've had this damn bastard of a character in my head for... a month now? Even tho they've been my childhood during the late 90s - very VERY early 2000s when I was little probs because I didn't know f/os were a thing, and they've only just stated making me crush on them this year. Which is all well and good because I miss the feeling so much. But I don't really talk about them much at all and even less want to even hint at who they are outside of extremely vague shit that could apply to anyone else because frankly the only way I feel safe loving 2D in such away again without having people make me feel like I'm a freak who shouldn't feel negative emotions is to keep it all to myself.

Also this doodle takes an anti-social extremely misanthropic cryptid with relationship problems & believes she doesn't deserve any sort of happiness and pairs her with a sudden strange love letter and was an interesting combo because she's not trusting at all and is dealing with an array of emotions like I've been.

Art/OC: Mine

Do not steal/crop/edit/etc. Do not tag as kin/me

#Sapphire (Fursona) #Em Doodles #I take self-shipping very seriously because it's such a huge part of my life that shaped me to who I am #not to mention my brain sees and materializes the characters into a whole thing with them to where they literally feel real #to where I have entire lives with them. Like living with them. Socializing with them. Talking about them as if they were real and happy #plus I cannot love myself without it as it feels fake and performative otherwise #I don't like that I'm at the point of being afraid of a means to love myself in a coping-mechanism sort of way. #especially not if it was originally a thing to make me feel wanted that I'm now struggling to hold on to (I want this to be long term ffs) #and yet the fact that it's a problem for others shows me that people literally will not get me even when I explain everything #it's like hiding your s/o. I've already had to do that irl with my longest bf. it's why I don't like doing it with my fictional others #it's not JUST a coping mechanism it's literally my best means for a healthy relationship and I wish outside forces didn't make it difficult #real people have almost always hurt me while fictional characters never did. I do not care. I prefer the former over the latter ANY day #the only exception are those that haven't but they're very veeeeeery few. Like three fingers or something few #But oh well. Guess the only way to do that now is to keep it to myself #note btw that Sapphire is still a character built off my stil current extremely depressive state and thus won't be seen happy all that ofte #this is already pushing the line and even then I'm not comfortable still talking about stuff like this now #but between this and an extreme piece of bloody vent art I rather post this

[jayden-killer]

DREAMS ARE MY REALITY. (pt.2)

part 1

What would happen if your favourite fictional character appeared in your bed...?

A/N: hellooo! Part 2 is finally here! 🙌 exams finished!! So now, full focus on my tumblr blog, heheh. This time chapter is longer. As always, just the reminder that I'm not a native English speaker, so you might find some errors. If you do, point them out to me! Enjoy the reading.~

Warnings: mention of the traumatic life of Miguel (both comics and movie), kinda derealisation if you hint it?, angst haha :)

Taglist (write me down in the comments if you want to be added!): @strxngegirl @d1lf-loverrr @laysmt @musicalhistorical @souichi-sbitch

☆

«You!»

I pressed the pillow against him, ready for any movement from the muscular man in front of me. His unkempt hair and a remnant of drool at the corner of his mouth confirmed my previous suspicions: he had fallen asleep in my bed. But how could he be divine even in that way? My eyes fell on his clothing: the holographic Spider-man suit was still on the young man. And he noticed my gaze fell there, then brought his attention back to me.

«Why are you pointing a pillow at me? It's not even a weapon».

«Ha, ha» faked a laughter, «That's is...amusing. How did you end up in my house, Miguel O'Hara? Did you fly with your webs through the window? Do you come from the roof of the building?»

And how do you know that my name is Miguel?" The man slowly approached me, losing his self-doubt demeanor that he had until recently, and I threatened him again with the pillow, lifting it up more as a reminder. «Stop there» My finger pointed to a precise point in the room, «First: what are you doing here. Second: how can you be real?»

«Are you answering my question with another question? Seriously?» Miguel's hands found place on his hips, and his eyebrow rose. I felt I was being watched too much by his eyes, which menacingly scanned me from head to toe.

«I'm in charge here, whether you like it or not, I make the rules here. Now, answer»

A snort left Miguel's lips. He rolled over more than once, shaking his head as if he was trying to find the right words. Well, a clear and comprehensive explanation didn't seem bad.

«Alright. I don't know how it happened, apparently my Gizmo started showing signs of instability as I traveled through the multiverse. The destination was marked for Earth-42. At the last minute, this maldito reloje decided to take me up to Earth-199999» Silence fell between us. I pushed the pillow aside, sitting on the edge of my bed to better focus on Miguel's bizarre story. The man seemed to mutter something in Spanish, but it was hard to decipher what he had said. He continued to look at me without looking away. «I was catapulted into this universe. The portal threw me onto the hood of a truck and the driver, seeing me, almost threw the truck into the wall. Luckily I managed to fly out of there with my webs».

«May I know then why did you come to my house?»

«I'm not done yet.»His eyes narrowed. I gulped fearfully. The man took a deep breath and continued to tell his story. «As I was saying, I flew away immediately. I wandered the streets for a while, and I saw how different your universe is from mine. The means of transport, the buildings, the people. I was tired, my strength was out of me. Your building was the closest. And your window was open. Besides, I would never hurt you. I'm a Spider-Man after all.»

«Yes, but you still attacked a fifteen-year-old boy because he didn't listen to you.»

«What?»

«What?» I laughed embarrassed. «Okay, I get it big boy. So you had a good sleep in my house, good, but now you should reall-Hey! What are you doing?»

«How can I be a giant poster hanging on your bedroom wall?» His was more than a legitimate question. I would have felt uncomfortable (and also quite lost) if I suddenly saw a poster with my face on it. I wouldn't have liked it at all. Even though Miguel was handling it well. I noticed how his head didn't move an inch, but he instead showed a surprised look at finding himself in poster form.

«Well, it's a long story...» I began.

«I have all the time in the world».

At that moment I looked at Miguel, then at the poster again and heaved a long sigh.

«What I'm trying to say is...you shouldn't be real». I put much more emphasis on the last word. Oh, God. Things were taking a turn for the worse. How could he believe what I was about to tell him? He had always felt real, but to me, he has always been part of the fictional world. It was just a drawing, yet he was here. How was all this possible? He was way beyond the multiverse.

«Miguel, I know it may seem strange to you, but you're part of a movie, you're a comic book character. You're...».

I couldn't.

I didn't want to make him feel like someone out of this world. I already understood what he had been through before. The loss of his mother, his brother Gabriel, the abuse from his father, and even the loss of his daughter, Gabriella. To tell him that it was just pure fiction, an invention of some brilliant mind would have been... not right. But Miguel wasn't stupid and he immediately grasped what I wanted to tell him. His gloved hand curiously and delicately traced his figure on the piece of paper. He shook his head, almost as if I were telling an unfunny joke. I couldn't blame him. I would have reacted way worse than the man. It was at that moment that I noticed the man in question ran a hand through his brown hair and swallowed hard, his back to me the entire time. In the meantime, worried, I was playing with the edges of my nightgown, with the fear that he might tear me to pieces.

«I feel real». His voice boomed off the walls. And I looked up to notice strange movements. «I am true. Even if all this creates a lot of...confusion for me».

«Miguel, you deserved to know...» I broke into the conversation, trying to find valid explanations. «I had to...»

«No». He held up a hand to stop me. A moment of silence followed. «You did the right thing. Being Spider-man also leads to these consequences... doesn't it?». It didn't seem that the sentence was addressed to me, but more to him.

«Maybe you need to take a shower, yes?». I tried to change the subject, my tone going from concerned to persuasive. «I have some clothes left here by my brother in case of an emergency. Maybe they'll fit a little short on the shoulders, but they'll have to go».

Without saying anything, Miguel nodded, then asked me where the bathroom was, so he could freshen up.

«Take your time, so don't rush-»

Slam!

Shit. What did I do?

#miguel ohara #miguel o hara headcanons #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderman #spiderman across the spider verse spoilers #spiderman across the verse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o hara x reader #miguel o hara x you #marvel imagine #mcu #sfw #fan fiction #fanfic

[hekateinhell]

I just need to get something off my chest real quick, there's really no need to read this unless you want to because you're bored lmao.

So I used to be really good at answering the asks I got. I wouldn't say I answered all of them, but I think overall I had a good ratio for a long time! And I loved it! I think the asks feature is the best thing that tumblr has to offer as a social media platform (god knows just about everything else sucks).

I loved getting asks and answering them and it's a great way to talk to others in our little fandom bubbles and trade thoughts and insights with one another. My mental health did take quite a few hits in the past several months, and part of that was real life (school, sickness, death in the family) and part of that was bullshit fandom drama.

But it just occurred to me yesterday that the reason I'm nowhere near as prolific in answering the asks I get is because I have always put so much effort into putting disclaimers behind all my meta, walking on eggshells so people won't throw tantrums every time I share an opinion they don't like.

And you know what? That just made me an nervous, erratic person afraid of her own tumblr shadow. The thought of having to do all the work to put ten thousand disclaimers behind everything I say so some asshole won't vague me because I accidentally hurt their feelings just made me not want to reply to anything at all. It's fucking exhausting having to think of every scenario in which people might interpret whatever you're saying (about fictional characters may I remind you) in the worst light possible.

In the end all that time and effort I put into censoring myself—because I try to be a nice person, I don't want anyone to feel bad because of me, regardless of the fact that that's been never my intention—in the end none of that mattered! There's people that have been vaguing me for almost two years now and it's not like I go seeking out this information but it's a small fandom and I stumble over it on another blog or some shit every once in a while.

Agonizing over whether or not some random is going to interpret everything I say in the worst possible faith and have a fit on main about my shit takes and make a block list of people who interact with my posts is just so stupid honestly, and trying to censor myself didn't do me a shred of good. People still regularly call me names and insult my intelligence because of the characters I ship, the meta I write, and the kinks I enjoy talking about. It doesn't even matter if I've been active recently or not, they're still mad about stuff I said ages ago! I can't win!

So from now on I'm just to do my best to break this depressing old habit and be online without being apologetic and diminishing my own opinions, answer asks however the hell I want without feeling obligated to coddle a bunch of grown ass adults, and if people want to cry about it, there's a box of tissues in the corner. Go nuts. ♥️

#apologies for exposing myself on main as being a person and not three raccoons in a trenchcoat #i miss being on my blog the way i used to be that was a great time 🤧 #i'm sure this post will end up vagued too rip but literally i do not care anymore #if you're going to let little old me get under your skin that much then i might as well make myself at home #hekate.txt #fandom wank

[defensivelee]

ok... i just blocked anon at this point but heres what they said bc apparently i didn't read what i wrote myself(?!)

i would just leave it at that, but honestly? i do wanna address some things here not bc i feel the need to defend myself to anon, but bc i wanna make it clear to you ppl WHY all this stuff was written.... like im not gonna sugarcoat it, i DO enjoy writing this bc hi. huge whump lover here. making pretty people suffer is my favorite thing. but it's also so important to say that this is FICTION (this is historical rpf which is kinda funny but still, none of this actually happened). there is no real abuse going on so there is no need for any of this performative bullshit. anon is just wasting time bc it goes without saying but i would never ever condone or do this shit irl. idk how it works for other ppl but for me fiction does not affect reality, the only way it does is that it makes me happy precisely because i can do whatever i want and nobody gets hurt. and these mfs dont care, they're dead im sure they have better things to do. anyway i just wanna say:

all the details anon is giving me abt my story makes it sound like they read the whole story, both Dona Dona and the main chapters. that's almost 100k words. when they could have clicked off at any time. when the tags are so clearly right there. like... you did this for what 😭

i assume the gang rape anon is talking about is in the Tenth Hot Spring when Bentinck serviced a bunch of dudes to seal a deal for William. i would find it kind of difficult to describe it as that... but tbh, yeah, it would have been incredibly hard for him to say no. in any case, so sorry to tell you this anon but there are no perfect victims in this AU! he never sees it as rape because he thinks he deserves it, and because he does enjoy it at times. his whole image as an Ally under an Overlifer kind of relies on that. and while i'll tag it properly, i'm not going to sanitize or sugarcoat it as it's a huge part of his character arc. he doesn't think he's allowed to say no or have boundaries, so he won't! in this society i think it would be hard to find a "perfect victim." Bentinck doesn't cry about this because he thinks he's fulfilling his purpose.

Bentinck being described as a shotacon..... im so sorry that was so fucking funny to me LMFAO

i wouldn't say he enjoyed kissing William's father as a boy, he just thinks he did. obv we don't get to see much of it in Dona Dona bc it's from William's POV. but even then, as an adult, he stills sees it as an honor. AGAIN, part of his whole arc of how he views himself, the religion, and his role in it. that event is kind of the starting point of that, it was put there for a reason and not bc i actually think kids can consent/enjoy assault! in my experience, they can think they did. here again, the perfect victim narrative does not always reflect reality.

you're right, kids can't initiate that! like i said in my disclaimer, it's a result of grooming and how they've been raised. they think they are, but it's just making them easier to abuse. i never once believed they could consent.

im not a rapist period full stop. just not

yeah i romanticize abusive relationships. in FICTION. they're fun to write. jamesborough is a delightful ship and the succubus au has been so fun to work on. real life abusers can choke and i would encourage anyone in a relationship like the ones i write about to seek help immediately.

Anne called Marly a slut bc SHE is victim blaming. EVERYONE victim blames Marly in this story. it's part of HIS arc. i would not blame any victim of this sort of shit irl. and even then, in this universe "slut" doesn't have such a negative connotation as in our world. yes, it is still victim blaming, but how can you read the story and still have it completely fly by your head like that

im aromantic, which i dont know how you wouldnt have just picked up from idk... SCROLLING THRU MY BLOG LIKE ANON SO CLEARLY DID?? LOOKING AT MY ICON?? so no need to pray for those hypothetical partners, it's never happening.

#thanks for the read anon ig KFKDJKJKFDK #in case it was not obvious: little rant under cut #hopefully anon fucks off for good i just wanted to clear up some things #tw csa mention #tw sa mention #tw abuse mention

[fayactually]

Dan Levy

I had a dream last night that I was dating Dan Levy. I'm a bisexual woman, and while I think Dan Levy is gay (not sure tbh) his Schitt's Creek character David Rose is bisexual.

This dream felt weeks long. Weeks-long to the point where I developed a budding romance with Levy, shared a sweet first kiss, did his makeup after going through his toiletry bag on our first weekend away, and met each other's families.

I actually woke up a little sad this morning. It felt like I lost a friend. Dreams are weird like that.

It did also make me think about the people (in real life this time) that I've been attracted to. Being bisexual myself means, like David Rose said in his famous wine metaphor, that I'm less attracted gender and more to the person. While bisexuality can be as varied as the people who identify that way, I have always found, that I tend to lean towards more "masculine" women, and more "femme" men.

I have used this pic as the stand in to where my attraction lies, whenever I've been asked.

Tall geeky boy, badass girl. ( This is River Song & the Doctor if you didn't know, and also omg please do watch them. I go weak-kneed for their relationship)

And I've wondered about this. In a world where I am told over and over again that muscular men, big and aggressive are the ideal, and what I should want....I just never really have? Sure, I get the appeal of Henry Cavill in The Witcher, in like, a for science kind of way, but the men that have always made me swoon have been a little bit, well, bent.

Either legitimately homosexual, or flamboyant, or weird in a way I found compelling. Usually also in a way that makes het men feel uncomfortable.

With women, it's simple. Strong women are hot. I like a person who is confident, and smart, and knows what they want out of life. And I guess that transfers to men too. You have to be pretty confident in who you are to rock guyliner, and brush off the usual trappings of masculinity.

I've had some suggest that I must be afraid of men. And by forming romantic attachments to gay men, that means they can't hurt me.

Personally, I think that's horeshit. Gay men are just men. And while, yes, generally they don't want to fuck me, that doesn't me I wont get "fucked" in other, usually worse ways.

The thing is though, I'm not attracted to the "gay". I'm attracted to men who don't see me as an object. Objectification is so talked about now, that it's its almost cliche to mention it, but that's because it happens ALL THE TIME. I literally have to remind men that I am a person. They already know it, ofcourse, in like, an abstract way, but in the daily course of things, I am often reduced to "cute face. tits". If they really like my face, I get upgraded to "maybe wife material". I want to be "milk-shakes and long drives, and maybe adopt too many dogs material". I get this more from gays and lesbians.

Attraction is weird and awesome, and I miss my fictional effete boyfriend.

#feminism #femme lesbian #bisexual #femme #dan levy #daniel levy #schitt's creek #dreams #masculinity #femininity #gay #lesbian

[haaawaiianshirt]

A lot of my favorite characters in fiction are bad people. In fact, I'd say absolute shitheels are much more likely to be interesting and developed than the good guys most of the time. I've seen a lot of people, both online and IRL, who act like liking certain characters is a "red flag" or that characters are bad for doing bad things. I see this a lot in anime fanbases as well, where people just have absolutely rabid takes like thinking it's "toxic" to like certain characters, especially ones that display traits that (understandably) really personally hurt and upset people IRL. I feel like some people have a genuine problem with separating fiction from reality. While it's true that fiction almost always has themes that comment on reality in some way, a person's enjoyment of certain aspects of fiction usually doesn't mean an endorsement of said things.

Another thing, you don't have to constantly justify it by saying how much of a bad person they are. You don't have to preface everything you say with some sort of statement of acknowledgement.

hi, I didn’t really know.. how to reply to this? I couldn’t figure out how on earth this related to my original post. I never claimed that anyone was bad or toxic

I’d like to point out again that my argument was just if someone is gonna excuse Billy’s actions in their media analysis they need to be considering why they can’t do the same for Nancy even though a lot of the principles they use to excuse Billy’s much more heinous actions can also be applied to Nancy’s mistakes

is liking or finding a bad character complex’s or interesting a “red flag”? no. is fighting tooth and fucking nail to excuse, ignore, or find noble ulterior motives for canonically horrible actions a ��red flag”? personally, yes. (and by red flag I mean like I probably just won’t want to be friends with them lmfao I’m not gonna like claim they’re a horrible person WHICH I have seen Billy stans do)

i don’t really think you are trying to accuse me of not being able to separate fiction from reality in this ask, and I do appreciate your insight. morally gray characters are interesting and good to talk about, but i personally don’t think Billy is one of these characters

and I understand your last point, I know people don’t have to put disclaimers on every post, but I have yet to see someone gracefully accept that their special little guy is, as you said an absolute shitheel, soo..

but anyways, seriously, literally all I’m saying is that if you can excuse the things Billy did because he was 18, or he was dealing with an abusive father, or he didn’t have a support system or whatever, then you can excuse Nancy did (that were, again in my opinion, much more reasonable), for being 16, for literally mourning her best friend, for struggling with misogyny, you know? I’m not calling any real life person bad, I’m just asking for some equal nuance

[septembersghost]

Your collective spn experiences reminded me of something I experienced a few years ago with stargate. I love Vala from stargate, always have and probably always will, but they did bad BAD things to her with that narrative (basically the bad guys, through means that are never made clear and honestly seem kinda magical rather than scifi impregnate her against her will).

Basically, continueing to love her/stargate was having a really horrible impact on my mental health and I had to just decide one day that I didn't care anymore, even though I still loved it/her because if I kept caring my mental health was going to keep spiralling.

(I still love stargate and I feel like I can watch it again now without mentally spiralling, but it was really rough and I wish they just hadn't done that to her in the narrative [they could've just like...cloned her or something without doing something that horrible to her, the plot would have still worked])

Anyway, just wanted to share.

this sounds awful, and i am so sorry you went through that with a character and show you loved. i reblogged a post a while back that mentioned ethical creativity:

"I’m not one to “cancel” or censor really much of anything, even socially, but as our understanding of mental health and well-being grows, I’ve begun to question the ethics of last-minute tragedies in larger works. It strikes me as privileged and perhaps able-bodied/minded to assume you can knife your audience and their wound will heal without your care to aid them...Does that mean coddling or treacly happiness is what the doctor ordered? No, treacly happiness, unearned, is nearly as frustrating as unearned tragedy, though less likely to cause psychological damage. But I do think it means writers have a duty to tread carefully. Stories matter, and the audience who hears, watches, or reads them matters."

and it makes me think of this piece from years back (about the walking dead, but i feel it's applicable to many things):

"One of the primary defenses of this kind of thing – I see it every time – is that this kind of story is about the brutality of life and death, about how no one is safe, about how much survival means and costs because anyone can die at any time. That it’s about realism, and to that end people we love are going to die in ugly ways. I’m sympathetic to that point of view...The problem is that this isn’t real. It’s fiction. It’s a story, and it’s being written. By writers. Who are making decisions, not taking dictation. They make choices about who to hurt and who to kill (and let’s face it: not just anyone dies; certain people are almost always safe), and those choices have logic behind them, or they should. When that logic fails, there are narrative consequences. And when that logic is coming from a problematic context – because every piece of writing ever done exists in the context of culture, which means it exists in the context of politics – there are consequences for that as well.

It’s a general convention that everything in a story should be there to do a job, and it’s a convention for a reason. Randomness doesn’t make for a particularly satisfying narrative. It doesn’t make for a particularly interesting narrative. Even things that appear random should be there to do something, and the logic according to which these things exist should be robust enough to support them. It’s a common problem in novels for characters to act without clear motivation, or for those motivations to be inconsistent. It’s a common problem for events to occur that should carry tremendous narrative weight but fail to do so because their foundations are not strong enough. At best you have something that’s just sort of weird and inexplicable. At worst you have something infuriating, and that’s when you lose your audience."

a story doesn't have to coddle its audience, or always be happy, a story shouldn't blunt its edges and should serve its characters first and foremost, but i do think a certain level of consideration needs to be had regarding effect. to make something so brutal or cruel or upsetting that it breaks the story and has a markedly detrimental effect on the mental and emotional well-being of the audience is a problem, especially in a television show, which more naturally establishes a strong connection with viewers due to investment and length of time spent with a narrative and its characters. these things do have resonance and impact, and we do get attached in a very real way. we find connection and parts of ourselves in the stories we love, so when that's violated, it does real damage.

i'm glad that taking some space away from it, you were eventually able to heal a bit and rewatch again, but it's still terrible that you felt that hurt in the first place. *HUGS* <333

#the medical thing reminds me of what chr*s cart*r did to scully which was also. terrible :| #fiona-glenanne-westen #letterbox #fandom discourse #i've been through it in varying ways multiple times and i think we all probably have #but sometimes there can be one that's particularly soul crushing and hard to shake

[erikahammerschmidt]

I worry sometimes about how far opinions about a work of fiction can travel beyond the sphere of people who actually know anything about that work of fiction. This can happen in many ways For example, it applies to the people who think 60's Star Trek was some "non-political" white male power fantasy but it ALSO applies to those who act like it was 100% respectful to every marginalized group by today's standards Of course it wasn't. There were episodes that would today be called straight-up racist and sexist on multiple levels, even when at the time they were TRYING to be progressive Same with Terry Pratchett. His books are amazing, I love them, they're brilliantly clever and entertaining and generally very forward-thinking for when they were written. But not ALL of it aged well! Lots of good artists from bygone days get held up as examples of "see, nobody HAD to be a product of their times!"  But you can almost always find things in their work and life that... clearly were, and wouldn't be accepted by progressives today Now, some people really want their old-timey fave to be unproblematic and will do gymnastics to reinterpret the problematic parts as not just "okay for their time" but "objectively, timelessly good" (even if they'd never accept the same work from a present-day artist) and will seem sincerely oblivious to the contradiction in their thoughts But I think it's even worse when people decide something is their old-timey fave just based on other people talking about it and then they actually read or watch it and they're like OMG THIS IS AWFUL, YOU ALL LIED TO ME Of course there's a lot of talk about this binary that we try to force on all media throughout all of history (where either it adheres to every current progressive standard of how everything should be portrayed or it is so evil that anyone who even thinks it's worth reading/watching is automatically evil too) When that whole debacle happened on twitter a few months ago, with the person who tweeted a list of Problematic Authors, I was struck by two things-- in very different but related ways. 1. The list included warnings about many pieces of content that only in recent years would be considered problematic. For example, the use of derogatory terms for groups of people, by characters in fiction. When I was in school, reading the classics that the school assigned us to read, my entire class would seem to be in total agreement on a point like "the word used in this scene is an unacceptable slur that no one should ever use against anyone in real life" And at the same time, everyone, as far as I could tell, would ALSO be in agreement that the author wasn't wrong to show a character using the slur against another character (because it's a thing that does happen, and was clearly portrayed as a bad thing to do) Now I said "as far as I could tell" because I'm not sure everyone WAS in agreement. It's totally possible that the author's use of the word offended and hurt people who didn't feel safe speaking up about it, and their feelings are absolutely valid. My point is that, in the 80's and 90s,  it wasn't commonly known that this was a problem (except among groups who were hurt by it). Awareness had not spread. Many people had no idea. If they had never been in a group targeted by a slur-- or if their own experience of being targeted did not extend to feeling trauma from fictional representations of it-- many would never have considered, on their own, that a fictional use of a slur could be harmful. In recent times it is much more openly discussed as a problem. And this has extended to mainstream novel-writing and movie-making, where the use of slurs has in fact become much less common as a result of the discussion. (If they ever do remake Blazing Saddles, for instance, it would be very advisable in the current climate to do it WITHOUT such an abundance of racial epithets.) So, while this sort of content in older works is considered problematic by lots of people today, it can also be important to realize that it doesn't make an author inherently bad and bigoted. Often it happens in the context of a work that was very clearly trying to condemn bigotry and promote acceptance. Of course not every attempt to do this is successful, or good, or helpful in any time, let alone the modern time. But nor is it automatically evil. The second thing I noticed about the "problematic books" post was that... the OP made it quite clear they were NOT saying the books were bad, that the authors were bad people, or that anyone should be condemned for reading them. They'd been harassed into deleting the post by the time I saw the discussion, but the screenshots I saw looked much more like a list of content warnings than a callout post. I saw no evidence that OP's intention was anything more than "pointing out things in these books that may be problematic by today's standards, so that you can be prepared before you decide to read them, in case you're uncomfortable with such content." Yeah, the initial posts could have been worded better, to convey that more clearly. But they also did not (despite many people's jumping to conclusions) clearly convey the opposite, at all. And yet even though the actual author of the post had given no sign of promoting the "good/evil" binary, virtually all the critics were acting as if that was the post's purpose. In other words: the critics were those who USUALLY make a big deal about how a book having "upsetting content" doesn't make it an evil book that promotes those things happening in real life -- and yet, here they were interpreting a simple list of content warnings as an outright attack against the books? Just as if they actually believed that "a book portraying bigotry" was the same as "a book promoting bigotry" And just as if they were experiencing the same "poor reading comprehension" that they're so quick to accuse others of. This has convinced me that none of us are immune to these failures. And I think it's extremely important that when recommending a work of fiction as being progressive, respectful, and good representation... we should still refrain from saying it's perfect. Because there are still many people out there who have trouble seeing anything except a good/evil binary. Perhaps, if it becomes common enough to hear things like "I love this story, the representation is mostly great, it has some parts that didn't age well but overall it's one of the best portrayals of this issue that I've seen" then MAYBE it'll become common to have thoughts with that kind of nuance, as well.

[digitalbug999]

okay so i just read a book for the first time in like. a year? i havent even been reading books for classes, so its been a while (having several mental illnesses that reduce focus will do that to you) and it just so happened to be four books and also i read all 4 of them in less than a week. and i dont know how i did that or what im supposed to do now?

i know i havent posted much about how it feels when i fixate on characters, or any of my poetry that uses my favorite metaphors, but hey, i have 4 new people breaking my ribs to make more space in my chest so

anyway read the all for the game series by nora sakavic, its got some heavy topics, and unfortunately theres casual ableism, but honestly it was written in 2013 so thats kind of expected, and its significantly lessened in the fourth book which came out recently (and is the one im specifically losing it about)

trigger warning for excessive metaphor and ig trauma dumping? under the cut

how do you get used to it? reading books. how do you just read something and put all your effort into it, and how do some people not become permanently altered by the media they consume?

im gonna regret this later when im thinking clearer and i remember that im embarrassed to talk about myself online, and i know that not everyone has my specific eccentricities, but. well to be honest how do you live in the real world knowing everything happening in fiction? how do you tolerate it? how do you be okay with the fact that you dont get to know everything about them, that you cant see them, that you dont know what their voice sounds like? how. how do you stay a person after consuming media?

i have always to close friends and in my head likened fixating on a character to finding them a place in my chest, behind my ribs, nestled between my heart and my lungs. it works bc they hurt me like it. sometimes when they hurt i can breathe, or i need to curl up and die bc it feels like my world is ending. ive been running out of room recently, and some characters have moved out, but ive never had a character take up their place so quickly as these ones have. i made it through the first book and realized that 2 of them had been pushing at my ribs from the inside to feel more comfortable, and i didnt know when they got there. i finished the fourth and the other two were stepping over the mess carefully to reach the walls and try to fix something. i dont know how to feel about it

my brain chemistry has been permanently altered by these characters and im not ever going to be okay again, and im almost more afraid of if i will be. im glad to be a different person when i think about them, i dont want to lose this. i dont want to wake up one day and not love them like this, i think it would be scary to go back. i know im probably fine, digimon became a long term special interest and i still check in with some of them every once in a while, but. well digimon changed. ive left behind the homes for taichi and yamato, and ken and daisuke, and in their place have moved in all the characters from digimon survive in one house, and all 10 legendary heroes from digimon frontier in the other. and theyre loud but i love them all. i dont want to lose anything

this is really stupid, but. well how do you talk to someone whos not autistic? how do you relate to them when you dont have a life outside the beating against your heart and the rise and fall of a fictional chest against your lungs? what am i supposed to say?

how do i listen to people when they want to talk to me and im not good at listening right now? how do i play nice when i hate that a conversation is two sided and i have to hold up my side of the friendship? how do i remember not to hate this part of me when im not feeling it?

what does it feel like to not have imposter syndrome?

#stickbug speaks #venting #seriously go read all for the game #im breaking down about it isnt that enough? #i might make a long post about all the things im crazy about in it #i might delete this later idk #whatever #autism is a disability

[crashtestdummy1003]

This is a shit ton of venting, pls scroll past (literally just need to yell this into the void)

I'm not afraid of meeting people. That was never an issue.

I'm afraid of them meeting me. I'm afraid they'll start to know things about me, my interests, my hobbies. And I'm afraid it won't be good enough. What if they just pretend to be okay with me?

I know I'm kind of annoying. And a little cringey. But thats fine, I've embraced the cringe and annoying parts of myself. But when I have to tell someone about something I really, genuinely care about, I always play it down. They can't know that I'm super invested in it because then they'll be able to ruin it for me.

I'm thinking about making a fursuit? No, I'm just a fan of the creativity.

I want to make animation my career someday? No, its just a hobby.

I have comfort characters that literally mean everything to me? No, I just like their designs.

Its worse with feelings. None of my friends know how much I don't tell them. Because if I do ill be that one person in the chat that brings the mood down, ill be the person that makes everything about them. The one that takes everything to heart.

I am so afraid of being myself that I genuinely don't know where the persona my friends see ends, and where the real me begins. I'm kind of terrified that maybe, I'm doing all of this for nothing. These things might not even matter to me on the future.

Even something stupid, (like my posts that are kind of down bad about fictional men, heh) whenever I share it with my friends I immedeitly regret it. I know when they say "Crash, nooo..." they're just joking, but hearing any kind of negative feedback makes my heart feel like somebody is squeezing it until it bursts.

I haven't had anything postive said towards me in a while. I don't want to fish for compliments from my friends, but id like them to notice things about me. My outfit, or my makeup, or even my fucking work. I try so hard with my schoolwork, with my hobbies, things that nobody even notices because I feel like if I go harder, if I do the best I can and outdo everyone else, then somebody will finally notice me. Somebody will say, "Hey, Crash, good job! You did well with that specific thing!"

Figure skating, swim team, drawing, academics, cleaning, work, I just want to be good at SOMETHING. But I feel the harder I try the more I get looked over. Now people only notice when I slip up, but when will they notice me working myself to death to try and stay at the top?

I want to cry, but if I cry then its not going to help anything, is it? I just want to go home, but I really don't know where that is. I am home right now, but I can't even feel safe with my feelings here. I live with people that make it impossible to feel anything without guilt seeping in.

I don't think im okay

And I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm not even an adult yet, but I'm almost there. I'm so scared.

I want something, but I don't know what it is.

I want to cosplay, go to furry conventions and wear a fursuit!! I want to post my art and have it be seen!! I want to be HAPPY with myself for fucking once. I want to be able to take criticism without CRYING. I want to not feel guilty when I take space from my friends. I want my friends to treat me the way I can never ask them to.

I want more friends. I only have like 3 that would consider me friends back. Everyone else is too cool, too nice, too functional. Trying to talk to them is overwhelming. I WANT to, but if I say anything its never good enough. They don't say it, but I can feel it. And it hurts. I'm not good enough for them.

I want to be normal, I want to be nuerotypical and not be hylerfixated on FNAF and Mario and my own ocs.

I want to be able to clean my room and keep it that way, to be motivated.

I want to practice my craft and learn about myself as a pagan.

I want my parents to show me they love me

They say it, but i don't ever see them show it.

I want a hug.

I want to go home. I want somewhere to call home. My house is my home, but sometimes I don't feel safe. Its not abusive, my parents and siblings never hit me, its not abusive. But I don't feel like I can have my own emotions. I feel guilty. Everyone else is going through something, I'm just getting through highschool.

I'm so scared. I don't think im okay. And I don't know how to fix it. Can I fix it? Am i stuck? Im terrified that im going to feel lile this forever.

Im not suicidal and ive never hurt myself, but id do anything to make this stop. I want to stop existing for a bit. Not die, im scared of dying, but i just.. want to observe. Not feel anything. But i feel SO MUCH and i want it OUT of me. I just want it out and gone. I feel like im full of some kind of liquid, like im going to overflow. Heavy. My mouth is full of sand and my eyes and holding back gallons of emotions. My body is restless but i csnt get evough sleep for it.

I dont wsnt to say i hate myself. But i dont know how else to phrase it.

I dont know how to end this. I doubt anyone's read this far besides myself. Im not posting this for pity, or fame or whatever the fuck. I just CANNOT hold this in anymore. I really cant. Only one person whos ever known me irl follows me here, and he probably wont read this far. He probably wont read this at all, which is fine. Thats why the dni tag is here. I just want this post to drift through time, forever. I'll come back to it eventually, maybe

Or maybe ill delete it.

I feel a little better. Not much in the grande scheme of things, but i feel good enough to sleep, or at least rest without crying.

Goodnight, I guess. Im tired.

#vent #i dont think im okay #dni please #yelling into the void

[thememerman]

Can we just,.,.accept that both Crosshair and Hunter had their reasons for doing what they did?? And honestly neither of them really did anything wrong??

Hunter left Crosshair because he tried to kill them. He didn’t understand anything about the chip, he really thought Crosshair had just lost his mind. And as soon as he learned about it and how to fix it, we immediately jumped to episode 8 where Crosshair tried to incinerate them with a jet engine. He tried to communicate that the chip was affecting him, and Crosshair didn’t care. Hunter couldn’t even get himself or Omega out of that situation unharmed. He had no way to snag Crosshair from his squadron of stormtroopers out for murder. After Bracca, Hunter was focused on getting Omega back because she’s just a kid; she isn’t with the empire, she hasn’t been chasing them down and almost killing them. From Hunter’s POV, the possibility of getting Crosshair to come with them willingly or even at all is looking bleak and even though he knows it’s not Crosshair’s fault, he’s been so overwhelmed with trying to keep the people relying on him safe and right now he doesn’t think Crosshair is relying on him. And honestly, how were they even supposed to know where Crosshair was half the time? He wasn’t on Kamino 24/7 and the Batch isn’t exactly swimming in imperial informants. But that aside, of course he was thinking about Crosshair; Hunter is loyal to a fault and you can just see the emotional pain that flashes across his face whenever Crosshair is mentioned because that’s his little brother and he couldn’t save him and he feels like he failed. Hunter never was and I don’t think ever can be indifferent when it comes to the people he loves. Whether you like it or not, Hunter was trying his best to keep everyone safe and stop running suicide missions because the galaxy was changing and he was trying to change too. He did nothing wrong.

Now Crosshair.

To all of you calling him a Nazi and saying that the animators and writers intentionally lightened his skin just to make a racist show of dominance, stop it. He was referring to their genetic enhancements being superior. That’s it. He’s always hated regs because let’s be fair the regs were never exactly good to him either (AFTERMATH). Now let’s just take a look at how the chip works shall we!! We know from Rex and Wrecker that clones know what they’re doing while under control of the chip and they’re powerless to stop themselves. So we know in Aftermath that the chip was strengthened to an insane degree, and Crosshair could still see himself taking head shots on his brothers and trying to murder them and he couldn’t stop no matter how badly he wanted to. He was powerless. And then the Batch left; at this point he probably understands that his brothers had to go. They’d regroup. They’d know this wasn’t his fault and they’d come back.

Months pass. Crosshair doesn’t know about the solemn looks the Batch exchange when he’s mentioned. Crosshair doesn’t know that they can barely get food for themselves. Crosshair doesn’t know that Wrecker has flat out said he misses him. Crosshair doesn’t know how Tech said “it doesn’t appear he’ll be needing it” with a twinge of sadness in his voice while giving Omega his comm. Crosshair doesn’t know how much Hunter hates himself for leaving and that Hunter was always planning on going back to him someday because someday he’d have the perfect plan and he could save everyone this time. How could Crosshair know?

More time passes. Crosshair probably still has his chip on but he’s still in there, watching himself become more and more important to the Empire. No rescue attempts. Not one. How awful does he have to feel?? They went to get Echo out of Skako with no backup and they didn’t even know Echo and they can’t go back for him? And here’s the Empire, giving him power and some semblance of control. Things are changing fast and now he has nobody but himself to adjust with, and besides, he’s always had an egotistical side so maybe being a commander and putting the regs in their place isn’t so bad to him after all. He’s alone. He adapts or he dies, that’s the job and that’s all he has now.

Onto Bracca!! If Crosshair is telling the truth about getting his chip out, I firmly believe it had to have been after the events of Reunion. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise; “if I wanted you dead, you would be” sweetheart giving the order to have them incinerated and starting to walk away really seems like you wanted them dead and then going from ordering Omega to be executed to telling Hunter that if he cares about her he should let her go and be safe away from them??? You can’t tell me that Bracca!Crosshair wouldn’t have dragged Omega back into the training room and killed her right there just to keep them from choosing her over him. So let’s just assume for now that Crosshair wasn’t lied to and his chip is out (I’m still holding onto a scrap of hope to the contrary because A. there’s no scar B. HE’S STILL HOLDING HIS HEAD and C. my boy isn’t making any SENSE he just killed off a bunch of Imperial stormtroopers to convince the Batch to join his Empire that he cares so much about??) it had to have happened after Bracca I said what I said idc. If the chip is out, I’m sure his head is still an absolute foggy mess because lord only knows what cranking those chips up to full strength several times will do to you, but suddenly he’s realizing that he’s still angry with them. He’s still hurt. He’s still very much alone. Maybe they never cared about him at all.

And don’t get me started on any “if he did any of this willingly he is irredeemable” garbage. How many times did Kallus almost kill the Ghost crew?? I’m sorry, was it not Kallus who ordered the Lasat genocide?? Don’t take this the wrong way, I adore Kallus and his redemption arc was one of the most beautiful things about Rebels but the point is if he can do all of those horrible things for the Empire for years and is still allowed a redemption stemming from realizing everything he thought he was fighting for was a fiction, THEN SO IS CROSSHAIR. With that side note out of the way let’s think about how alone and betrayed Crosshair feels by the Batch and let’s realize that after they left Ryloth, after they left him again, what does he want?? He wants them. He doesn’t want to kill them, he doesn’t want them imprisoned and he doesn’t want to make them pay. He wants to fight side by side with them again, he wants his brothers back. And even though he’s so beyond hope that they still care about him, heck he literally said “don’t make the same mistake twice; don’t make me your enemy” he thinks they were enemies and he still cares about them so freaking much that he went through an entire elaborate scheme to get the whole Batch on Kamino and set up the stormtroopers’ deaths to prove his loyalty that they could have if they just gave him some of their loyalty too. “Loyalty means everything to the clones” is starting to get a really bitter taste innit??

The point of this longwinded rant my friends is to beg y’all to stop being so black and white about these two. They’re both human, they both have made mistakes and have regrets, they’re both trying their best to survive in a galaxy flipped upside down. Things played out how they had to and they’re both victims of the real villain of Star Wars, who has always been Palpatine. The fact that there is so much to unpack with these two characters shows how flipping amazing the writers are!! They’re so layered and complex it’s literally like they’re real!! So please. Stop hating on them so freaking loudly. They’re my boys and they both deserve a warm hug and a nap after the season they’ve had

#star wars #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #the dad batch #tbb #the clone wars #animated Star Wars #Dave Filoni #agent Kallus #star wars tbb #star wars rebels #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #clone troopers #clone force 99 #good soldiers follow orders

[darling-i-read-it]

Burn

Dennis x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.8k 

Warnings: hand burn, descriptions of pain, i obviously dont condone murder or anything dennis gets into this is fiction and should be treated as such. Also, DID is a completely real illness and should be handled with care. I have a mild form and now how complex it can be. I try to be as accurate as I can to what the movie showcases 

Author’s Note: ‘people get exhausted trying to figure me out. And i just let them’ - a tik tok sound and also me never being consistent and writing whatever my little heart desires 

Summary: You’re a friend of practically everyone in the system and come over often. You haven’t seen Dennis in a while though which concerns you.  

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Dennis hadn't been around a lot lately. You had been seeing a lot of Barry, which was fine. You liked that he kept the system mostly level headed, even when one or two slipped through without notice. You had gotten used to the ever changing life of Kevin Wendell Crumb and the completely different personalities that lived inside of him. You had met almost all of them, save for The Beast. He was purposefully kept from you. You didn’t mind much though. If Dennis was slightly intimidated by him, you didn’t need to meet him.

You came around almost everyday to see how everyone was doing. Today you were bringing some groceries to make dinner together. You were hoping to squeeze Hedwig out to help you cook; he always liked to stir the pot. 

You knocked on the door lightly, the brown paper bag in your arms. Your face was mostly covered with vegetables. The door opened and you peaked around the corner, noting Barry’s signature hat with a smile. 

“You’ve brought plenty of gifts!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “And another horrendous outfit. What are we going to do with you?” He moved aside to the roll of your eyes. 

“If you want to change my style you could go shopping with me.”

“I am about to take you up on that offer. What are those? Distressed jeans from the 90s?” You put the bag down on the table, ignoring him. There were spots surrounding the sink from lack of cleaning. You tried not to let the disappointment manifest in your face. It meant Dennis still hadn’t been fronting since you had been here last. 

“We could always get you some new clothes as well.”

“When I get a job I will be sure to let you know dear. What goodies did you bring?” He peaked in the bag but you swatted his hand away gently. He feigned hurt. 

“I was thinking about making some sort of tacos.”

“You always try to please Hedwig,” Barry noted, rolling his eyes. 

“Mm Hedwig’s nice to me.”

“I am nice to you,” he protested. You nodded, putting your hand gently on his back in solidarity. 

“I’m sure you try,” you said sarcastically. Barry pursed his lips, shaking his head. You grabbed a rag and cleaned up the spots near the sink before they could bug you anymore. The dirtiness had never really been a problem for you until you started to see Dennis clean everything. You liked to keep his area clean now. Like someone was doing it for him in his absence. 

“You couldn’t have favored Ian?” Barry asked quietly, his tone of voice completely changed. You looked up at him, sensing the playfulness had left the atmosphere of the room. You gently put down the rag and cleared your throat. 

“It’s a habit,” you muttered quietly. 

“He hasn’t been around on purpose you know.” 

“I know.” 

You started to grab things out of the bag. Barry had his eyes on you. You had always been a close friend of mostly everyone. You hadn’t had a problem with anyone so to speak, just people you didn’t see as often. But you and Dennis had always been the closest. He wasn’t the first to warm up to you but he surely was the first you spoke to consistently.

“I would like to cook if that’s okay,” you said, trying to break up the moment. Barry nodded, shaking his head tastefully at you. You had your back turned when he walked around the back of you and onto your otherside. By the time he got there you could feel the demeanor change. You were no longer talking to Barry. 

“This is far too much green,” Hedwig said, picking up some cabbage. You smiled pleasantly. 

“I wanted to make tacos.” 

“Why did you bring tomatoes and lettuce et cetera?” 

“Cause you can put that in tacos. I wasn’t sure who I would be dining with,” you said evenly. “You can stir it.”

“Awesome.” 

-

He settled into an easy movement with you that ensued a lot of general laughs. Hedwig always kept you on your toes. You always enjoyed being around him. He showed you his CD player and you showed him some new CDs you bought, which he loved. He was busy stirring when you noticed a small fire forming at a previously unlit burner. 

“Hedwig watch your sleeve,” you said gently. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Hedwig.” You swatted his hand away and he tried to grab it back which caused you to move forward onto the burner. You screeched, burning your palm. You stumbled back, holding it, the neurons firing in worry. Hedwig was talking but you didn’t hear him because the pain was blinding. Water? Milk? Ice? Something cold. You needed something cold right now. 

Hedwig grabbed your hand and opened the ice box, shoving it inside. You felt immediate release, though the pain doesn't subside completely. You breathed evenly after a moment of panic and was able to look back up at your friend. 

Hedwig’s eyebrows were knitted and his lips had formed a thin line. You knew the look immediately. 

“Dennis?” you asked, voice slightly loopy. He didn’t look at you. 

“That was stupid,” he said evenly. “You know better than to hang around an open flame like that. Both of you do.” You could hear the tinge of anger in his voice. Your mind was still clearing, the tears that were pricking your eyes were subsiding. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. He shook his head harshly. 

“I’ll get it fixed immediately. It’s faulty.” You could practically hear the shiver down his spine. “It’s a mess.” He stood up, letting your hand go. You nodded, clearing your throat. You grabbed a couple ice cubes and held them in your hands. 

“We were making tacos. I was gonna clean up as we went but Hedwig was very quick moving.”

“Always is.” Dennis grabbed a towel and tossed it to you. “Put the ice around that. I’m going to clean this and then find the first aid.” You nodded sheepishly. You felt stupid. You did know better than to do something like this and you had paid the price. Though a part of you felt better now that Dennis was here. He was plating the tacos that were practically made. 

He buttoned up the shirt and grabbed his glasses, putting them on smoothly. You quietly opened cabinets in search of some help but he had already found it. He placed the first aid on the counter and continued to clean. 

You waited patiently for a couple minutes, ignoring the pain as best you could. Finally he turned to you and took your hand. His touch was chaste and never as gentle as you thought it was going to be but you didn’t mind. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeated. He shook his head. 

“It’s alright,” he finally settled on. He wrapped your hand and put the first aid away silently. You held your hand to your chest, proof that he was actually here. 

“Are you okay? I know you haven’t been out lately.”

“I’m fine.” 

“I missed seeing you. I see everyone else fairly regularly, even Patricia. I tried to clean for you but she said it was a lost cause. No one does it as spotless as you,” you said in a vain attempt to get him to just look at you. He placed the last napkin filled with loose shredded cheese in the trash and cleaned his hands under water. 

Finally he turned around, arms crossed. 

“Are you still in pain?” 

“A bit, yeah.” You looked down at your hand. He cleared his throat harshly and adjusted his glasses. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He looked at the finished tacos listlessly. “Hedwig can come back. You can eat your food.” “One dish of tacos without Hedwig won’t hurt him. He’ll understand.” Dennis was having a hard time keeping eye contact with you. 

“I don’t know if I can stay long,” he admitted. “I jumped in at a crisis, to help Kevin.” You nodded. 

“Of course. Just one taco?” He pursed his lips. 

“Just one.” 

You nodded pleasantly and grabbed your plate, trying to be as neat as possible but still not managing to be as neat as him. You sat down across from each other and you used a fork, something you wouldn't have bothered to do with Hedwig. 

“I’ve missed you,” you admitted quietly again. He was quiet for a moment, contemplating words over chewing. He swallowed. 

“I suppose I’ve missed you as well.” 

You felt a rush in your heart but you tried to contain it. 

“You know, you could come out every once in a while. Just so we could see each other,” you suggested. “I’m sure I could make that work with Barry. You have an excellent reading voice.” His lips twitched into an almost smile. 

“If you would like to talk to him, I won’t argue.” You nodded once. That wasn’t a no. 

“Okay. Wonderful.” You looked down at your still throbbing hand. “Thank you by the way. For this. I don’t think Hedwig would have known what to do.” 

“He didn’t.” He reached across the table for it. He examined the wrap job with his thumb, holding his hand in yours. You breathed out evenly and glanced at his face. His eyes were intently staring at your hands. You gently wrapped your fingers around his and he tried not to let it startle him. 

“Is that okay?” you whispered. 

“Quite.” 

#dennis x reader #dennis split x reader #dennis x fem!reader #split dennis x reader #dennis imagines #split dennis imagines

[naynay5155]

C!Tommy’s Storyline With C!Dream Is A Very Concerning Depiction Of Abuse

Wild Title 

Okay, I’m sure that this probably isn’t too new information for anyone paying attention to the overall story of the DreamSMP, especially C!Tommy’s storyline, but I figured I’d give my two cents for this anyways. 

C!Tommy is an Abuse Victim who has gone through horrific stuff at the hands of C!Dream. This is not an arguable fact. regardless of if C!Dream had reasons for doing what he did, if C!Dream also later gets abused, or if ultimately the abuse portrayal could be considered in some ways flawed or unrealistic, that stuff doesn’t ultimately matter. Because we’ve seen what happened to C!Tommy during Exile, have seen the physical, emotional, and mental abuse he was put through. Just because they won’t call it Abuse doesn’t mean it isn’t Abuse.

Now, C!Tommy being an abuse victim is an interesting idea from a storytelling perspective. It has a lot of potential to lead to genuine character development, or to affect relationships and story beats in interesting ways. And it could be an interesting way to really say something about abuse and coping with it. 

And to an extent, an argument could be made that it has, though I’d argue the exact way those are handled in canon, but not the point. The point is, abuse is not just something that you get to gloss over. If you want to include themes of abuse in the story, a story you are making available to the public for millions to see, then there needs to be a clear and obvious message being portrayed with including abuse in the story. Preferably, that abuse is bad, and can have majorly negative effects on anyone, especially children. We don’t always get that lucky, but whatever. 

But, from my months of watching the story of the DreamSMP, and trust me I’ve been here a long while, I haven’t seen C!Tommy’s abuse being handled very... well. I could, of course, be wrong in some aspects, and maybe be misremembering stuff since this dumpster fire has been happening for a year now, and feel free to correct me or bring up more points if you know something I don’t. But, I still think that overall, I have a point of view that should be considered. 

So basically, C!Tommy is an abuse victim, right? this is easy to see, very obvious in the way he acts and behaves. Or... is it? 

Abuse is a complex topic and one that, in real life, presents itself in all sorts of forms. Many abuse victims were raised in unloving homes and ended up becoming more vulnerable to abuse later on in life as a result of that. Others never properly learned how to express emotions or turn people down and got taken advantage of. Others were abused from the start, and develop various ways of coping and dealing with that, even ways that they might not be fully conscious of themselves. Abuse is not a one-way street, it could hardly be considered a street at all given how diverse and differing the people who experience it end up developing into are. 

So I’m not saying that, if C!Tommy were a real person, that he isn’t “Being traumatized enough” or that “Why isn’t he more like what I expect him to be like?”. That is not what I’m saying at all.

What I am saying, is that C!Tommy is a fictional character who exists within a narrative, a story. And in a good story, consistency is half the battle. I, as the audience consuming the story, need to be able to look at C!Tommy and pick up on and understand the effects abuse has had on him. And these effects need to be consistent, otherwise, as an audience member, I’m going to get confused and start having questions about why he acts one way here but doesn’t somewhere else.

I also need to be able to clearly see and understand, by being given narrative stepping stones, if something is changing for his character.

As the saying goes, “Show don’t tell”. C!Tommy can’t just say he “Goes to Puffy for Therapy” offhandedly one time, as a means of handwaving away why he doesn’t really consistently act as traumatized as he used to even though it’s literally only been a few weeks, or months at most. To explain how he can jump back between being really sad and depressed about something, to joking about Women and Twitter. It seems weird if he’s able to just so seamlessly, so effortlessly, go back and forth. Almost as if he’s bouncing between OOC and IC, but that’s a whole other discussion. 

Sure, C!Tommy is representing real mental health issues, but he is, ultimately a Fictional Character existing in a story. I need to be given signs, proof, foreshadowing, to explain when he has certain reactions and behaviours in order to understand his character. And these need to be consistent, otherwise we get plotholes and general confusion.

I criticize the inconsistency and the offscreen handwaving because it’s generally not very good writing. It’s the same reason I disliked Eret’s basically off-screen-sort-of-redemption-arc. It’s the same reason people dislike it when Villains of previous seasons suddenly come back as fully reformed good guys for seemingly no reason. There is no arc, no development, no progress is shown to us. 

Because when you’re telling a story about a character having some major change or developing in some way, or having an important character trait, if I don’t see it on screen, then it didn’t happen. How am I supposed to root for C!Tommy’s progress, or understand what he’s doing to progress, if a never see his coping mechanisms? His therapy appointments? 

You can’t just say something, or inconsistently portray something, and expect me to jump through hoops to connect these nearly transparent dots that keep getting thrown around. 

Show don’t tell. Show me Tommy getting better, because otherwise you’re just telling me he made character development, and showing me this completely different character as proof. No, last I remembered C!Tommy was having panic attacks and yelling when C!Dream was even mentioned. You can’t tell me that a day later he can interact normally after days of being in the prison and a month of being dead.

Or, if you are gonna have him flip flop back and forth, don’t have it be so sudden and jarring, give an explanation. Is he faking being fine? Does he have memory issues? C!Tommy doesn’t read to me as the type who’s good at suppressing his emotions, he wears his heart on his sleeve. So you’re going to have to explain, clearly, in a way that isn’t ambiguous, what’s happening with C!Tommy here.

You’re not really saying anything about the abuse C!Tommy goes through, if all of that trauma is automatically wiped from the story when the writers get too lazy or too scared to keep it in. At best, you are showing abuse and trauma for the sole purpose of showing it, with no intention of properly dealing with and addressing it in the story. At worst, you are basically just doing torture porn. 

Pain, Hurt, Trauma for the sake of it. Not with any goal in mind. Just for the drama of it, or to hurt the audience. 

And then your audience is just supposed to take that content in uncritically, and they gain no true understanding of how abuse victims survive and cope after their traumatic treatment.

Exile Arc sure did a good job at making C!Tommy suffer. But as soon as that arc ended, a lot of the stuff that happened in it went completely glossed over and unaddressed for a long while. That might have been fine in the lead-up to Doomsday, since a lot of plot stuff had been going on and stopping to handle C!Tommy’s issues might (Might is heavily doubted cause it certainly isn’t impossible) mess with the pacing a bit. But then after Doomsday, there isn’t really any excuse to put it off. Because nothing was really happening for a good while, and nobody had anything to do plotwise. 

And this became even more true with C!Dream being locked in Prison. Nothing was really happening, so what was stopping the story from taking the time to properly discuss and deal with this stuff?

Well, nothing really. So, the Hotel Arc happened. And oh boy, was it a mess. 

So, C!Tommy being angry at C!Dream for the abuse and trauma he has suffered at Dream’s hand isn’t an issue. It’s an incredibly common thing for victims to feel angry at their abusers, and to even go so far as to wish for vengeance against them in some way. And that’s a totally valid and fine feeling. 

You’re hurting, you’re scared, you’re in pain. I get that. When we’re hurting, we don’t always act rationally or healthily.

But, ultimately, that rage, and hurt, and want for vengeance is not a healthy thing to hold onto. In many circumstances with an abuse victim wanting to inflict pain back on their abuser, we run into various problems. 

For one, getting vengeance on your abuser is quite frequently going to give you more emotional pain than it will fulfilment. Especially if you are young, or are letting this want for vengeance take over your entire livelihood. It does you no good ultimately, to attempt to bring pain to the person who hurt you, because not only will you often be unsuccessful, you frequently won’t find emotional healing and stability in that. 

(The only exception to this rule being if ignoring them or moving on from them isn’t an option for you right now.)

Actions have consequences, and if you invest more time in that person who hurt you, then you have no time to work on yourself or the relationships around you. You have no time to heal, and this can become self-destructive.

Spending time around an abuser, as a victim, is in all likelihood just going to upset you more. You’re retraumatizing yourself by spending time around them, and as you make attempts to give them their comeuppance, you could possibly end up internalizing the methods they used on you, and just end up perpetuating the cycle of abuse again. 

And even if you have no problem with doing that to this particular person, consider how fully internalizing these abusive behaviours could affect your friends or family. Frequently, even when they don’t mean to, abuse victims can internalize the things that they went through and then use those same behaviours against people in their life later on. Being shitty to your support system because of what you went through isn’t a good move, for you or them.

Basically just, an Abuse Victim has more to gain from working on themselves while finding ways to heal and overcome their trauma and abuse, than they do spending their time and energy on the abuser. Its frequently unhealthy, distressing, and self-destructive to indulge in that too much.

(Of course, I don’t speak for everyone, but from what iIve looked into and seen, this is the healthiest method of actually healing from your abuse. That doesn’t mean you just... leave your abuser alone and never address or talk about what they did, you don’t let them get away with it, of course not. It just means you don’t waste your mental well being and time obsessing over someone, especially someone who has hurt you so much.

You deserve better than that. You deserve to heal.)

Now, let’s get back to C!Tommy. 

C!Tommy, instead of finding a proper means of coping with his issues (proper therapy, diagnosis for his issues, forming and maintaining healthy support systems, focusing on things he loves, etc) is shown to repeatedly focus back on C!Dream. When he was making Big Innit Hotel, it did seem like he was to an extent finding ways to cope with his shit. He was still kinda shitty and his hotel was not exactly made and run by the most morally great standards, though I suppose I can’t expect too much when he is a very traumatized teen and doesn’t really know what he’s doing. 

But, ultimately, this all fell apart when he got locked in Pandora’s Vault with C!Dream. Arguably, it was already falling apart the moment he decided to keep pursuing C!Dream even when he was locked up.

See, the thing is, C!Tommy can never just… have trauma. Having trauma that he can healthily and methodically work through is something that for him as a Character, is basically impossible. His character is an angry one, one built on spite and childishness, and who holds the mantle, unfortunately, of “Spunky Male Protagonist In A YA Novel”. So, his mental health issues can never just be a struggle he has to cope with, especially not when the DreamSMP can never seem to have anything between “A lot is happening right now omg” or “Literally nothing is happening and nobody is playing on the server at all omg”.

Instead, his issues have to be seen as a battle, and they fuel the narrative of the story. Him having been abused by C!Dream cannot just exist as a thing that he as a person has to work through slowly with the help of others around him. It has to be seen as this Epic Triumph Against Evil, another battle of Tommyinnit VS Dream on the DreamSMP, a classic Villain versus Hero fight.

This, of course, isn’t too great. By C!Tommy’s abuse plotline being framed in this manner, it makes it so that C!Tommy is constantly obsessing over his abuser and recklessly throwing himself into dangerous and triggering situations is some attempt at an “Epic Battle With Evil”, rather than this being treated like the self-harm it actually is. And yes, it is self-harm, a form of it. 

C!Tommy uses his trauma and issues as fuel for the story, making it so that its impossible for him to truly progress and a character, and the moment he does start growing, he has to get retraumatized again so he goes right back to where he was.

C!Tommy does not become a better person when he’s around C!Dream, nor does he find any form of fulfilment in being around him. He gets shaky and panicky at just the sight of him. He regularly has violent and explosive outbursts at just the mention of him. When C!Dream talks to him, he gets nervous and basically can’t help but listen due to conditioning he still listens to. 

When C!Tommy went to go visit C!Dream the first time in Pandora’s Vault, he brought with him stacks of TnT. He did it because he wanted to mimic what C!Dream had done to him in Exile, where he would take all of C!Tommy’s newly gained items and blow them up underground for dramatic effect. 

C!Dream did this for control over C!Tommy, to manipulate him, for his suffering.

And C!Tommy wanted to do this to C!Dream, because he was feeling vindictive. 

When C!Tommy got into the prison, he mocked C!Dream, hit him repeatedly, and tried to boss him around. He made him write ridiculous books and verbally berated the man. He did this in a feeble attempt to gain some feeling of control over C!Dream. This, evidently, did not work. At best his success was momentary. And this sense of achievement he gained was gained through projecting his abuse trauma onto someone else.

He repeated the cycle. 

After he got brought back from the dead and let out of the prison, he was much much worse. C!Tommy was now paranoid, anxious, constantly thinking about C!Dream, and had his mindset solely on getting revenge on him, by killing him. 

It got so bad, he ended up doing lacklustre “Exposure Therapy” to help himself not panic when he went into Pandora’s Vault to kill C!Dream. It got so bad he dragged C!Tubbo and C!Ranboo into this, putting them in danger and putting more pressure on another two teenagers’ shoulders. 

It got so bad, that Ghostbur died, C!Sam closed off even more, and C!Wilbur came back. 

Objectively, C!Tommy leaving C!Dream alone would be the better thing for everyone. And yet he keeps repeating the cycle. Because C!Tommy is not meant to grow, learn and heal. He is made to suffer. 

The problem is not so much showing an unhealthy depiction of a mentally ill or traumatized person. Because trauma and mental illness and the effects of abuse are not always pretty, and they shouldn’t always have to be portrayed and pretty or sympathetic to be accurate. 

It becomes a problem when you get this depiction of C!Tommy’s coping being presented uncritically to an audience of a lot of underaged and young people. 

Nobody in canon, whether they be adults or fellow teens, has ever tried to question C!Tommy’s methods for coping. C!Ranboo and C!Tubbo just limply went along with his plans for Exposure Therapy with no consideration of if this was a good idea. No adults really offer to genuinely step in and help C!Tommy deal with his shit, and the ones that do leave him or get corrupted in some way, often leaving him with more trauma as they do. 

C!Puffy’s therapy methods are dubious at best, and the most we ever see of her actually helping C!Tommy is her humouring his toxic behaviours, and C!Tommy making offhanded mentions to vague therapists appointments we never see. 

C!Technoblade stopped giving a shit as soon as C!Tommy walked off the screen. C!Wilbur was dead, and now that he isn’t he certainly isn’t helping C!Tommy. C!Phil isn’t C!Tommy’s dad and has no obligation to do anything for him as a result. C!Ranboo has the backbone of a chocolate eclair. C!Tubbo is too busy repressing his own trauma to help C!Tommy with his. C!Sam is being ruled by the prison and C!Quackity. C!Quackity has become an Ancap. 

Nobody in this story is a reliable or trusted person to C!Tommy, who could properly tell him his methods are unhealthy and give him better alternatives. And as a result, nobody is able to tell the audience that C!Tommy is wrong 

Unreliable Narrators are only effective when the narrative in some way has their unreliableness pointed out or proven to the audience. If you go into a story with the assumption that everybody watching will be able to see past C!Tommy’s POV and not take him at face value, then you are naive. Especially when this fandom is made up of many teens and children. 

I only know C!Tommy’s methods are unhealthy because I care way too much and do my research. A vast majority of the world doesn’t have the same understanding and education on these topics, especially not children and teenagers. A good chunk of people, especially neurodivergent and mentally ill people, could very well take the story at face value and automatically assume that what Tommy’s doing is actually a good coping mechanism because they don’t know any better.

There is no clarification or safety net for preventing misinterpretation. And being of the opinion that “Well, they should know better than to trust a bunch of Minecraft Youtubers for this stuff” or “We can’t expect them to be psychologists! You expect too much” is just… not helping. 

Because I shouldn’t have to explain why children and teenagers, especially those that are using these people to cope, are not always going to make level-headed and common-sense decisions. They will be influenced by these Content Creators, whether we think it’s “Stupid” or not. 

And I can say with certainty that, while yes, this might be a bit much to expect from a bunch of British/American white guys who play Minecraft to handle, may I also point out that nobody fucking made them put this stuff in the story. There are ways to write a story without stepping outside of your realm of true understanding. Nobody begged these MCYTs to go and make torture porn for a 16 year old, nobody asked them to touch on topics they have no fucking clue about. 

They put that in themselves. And we have the right to point out the problems and flaws in it, and criticize them for not handling this stuff better. 

You don’t start applying for a job you don’t meet the requirements for. You don’t start an expensive project you can’t finish. 

You don’t include elements in a story you aren’t willing to fully go through with and address in a proper and sensitive way. 

#hope this makes sense #dreamsmp roleplay #dream smp critical #dreamsmp #dream smp #character analysis #c!tommy #c!dream #tw abuse discussion #tw abuse #negativity #dsmp critical #critical dsmp

[thevindicativevordan]

Why isn't Nightwing a bigger deal? He has all of Batman's skills and Superman's faith in humanity and is arguably the most beloved hero in the DCU, but most people seem to know him either as the leader of the N̶o̶t̶ ̶J̶L̶ Teen Ttians or just Robin.

Thank you for asking me about Nightwing, I've been wanting to write a piece about him for a while now. The short version is that everyone who claims Dick becoming Nightwing was him "moving out of Batman's shadow and becoming his own man" is completely wrong.

Dick Grayson is a fantastic character, someone who saved Bruce Wayne in-universe both by forcing Batman to grow up a bit, and the countless times he saved Batman's life as his partner whether as Robin or Nightwing. Dick saved Batman in the real world as well, hard to believe but Batman was actually in danger of being cancelled due to poor sales early on. Enter Robin, a young daredevil audience stand in the creators hoped would get kids interested in reading Batman. And it worked! Sales on Batman doubled once Robin showed up which is crazy to think about, but Dick Grayson has always been a popular character. Cartoons like Teen Titans, Batman: The Animated Series, and The Batman only helped grow his audience.

Character-wise, Dick Grayson really does fill a number of crucial roles in the DCU. For Batman, Dick is proof that Batman is a positive force. Meeting Batman helped change Dick for the better, helped him heal after his parents died. With Dick, Batman can take comfort in knowing that yes, he has made a difference in the world for at least one orphan boy, which is all he wanted when he lost his parents himself. To the wider DCU, Dick is a friendly face who convinces others that Batman is competent and not a complete asshole. He took this kid in, trained him to be one of the best heroes the DCU has seen, and did it all out of the kindness of his heart. That someone like Dick can confront the evils of Gotham and not break means there's still hope for that city. As Robin, Dick has led the Titans and is an icon in his own right as The Sidekick, the original, the one every other Robin is built around copying or contrasting. The one all other superhero sidekicks are drawing on as a basis. As Robin Dick Grayson is very much on Batman's level.

Just not as Nightwing. As Nightwing, Dick has been a second rate Daredevil which means he's a third rate Batman (fully prepared to get hate for this but I've read and enjoyed the Miller and Bendis DD runs so I feel entitled to my opinion). A typical Nightwing run tends to go like this: Moving to Bludhaven (which is Gotham... but WORSE!), Dick Grayson usually enrolls in a pointless job we don't care about in order to provide some meaningless soap opera drama that doesn't go anywhere. Patrolling the city as Nightwing, he fights a variety of bad guys who are usually rather lame and unthreatening, with his big bad being a Kingpin knockoff called Blockbuster. Villains are fought, long running plotlines are set up, then everything is abandoned because it's Batfamily event time, and Dick has to run back to Gotham in order to play sidekick again. Usually his involvement is completely superfluous and it would've been better if the writer had gotten to opt out. By the time we finally get back to Nightwing's solo plotlines, the audience has usually ceased to care and the run gets cut short.

That's how Nightwing has been since the New 52 at least. Anyone who thinks that's "becoming their own man" is out of their mind. Dick is so thoroughly in Batman's shadow that he got shot in the head and spent a longer time as "Ric" which everyone fucking hated and sold like shit, than he did as Agent Grayson which was extremely well-received. Reiterating: Ric went on longer than Grayson because of a fucking Batman plotpoint Tom King wanted where Bruce was sad and cut off from the Batfamily because of Dick getting shot. Not just calling out King either, how many times was Kyle Higgins Nightwing run derailed because of Scott Snyder's crossovers? Or how about that entire run getting dumped to the side because Johns wanted to out Dick during Forever Evil, a Justice League/Lex Luthor story? DC has repeatedly made their contempt for Nightwing clear, he's Batman's sidekick still in their eyes, and he serves whatever story role the Batman writer wants.

Hell his best stories tend to have been the ones where he's not Nightwing. He was Robin in a good chunk of the Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans run. Morrison really showcased his depth as a character when they wrote him as Batman, their time with Dick under the cowl was actually one of the first Batman runs I ever read, and no Nightwing run has ever matched it in terms of quality in my humble opinion. Scott Snyder's work with DickBats also was a high point for the character, showing Dick as competent and examining his relationship with Gotham and the Gordons. King and Seeley gave him one of the best comic runs with Grayson, a series where he wasn't even a "superhero" technically! When it comes to actual pre-New 52 Nightwing runs that are highly recommended where he *is* Nightwing, there's Chuck Dixon and uhhhhhhh... Tomasi's brief run before Dick became Batman? It's not exactly an overwhelming list.

Look there has been good work done with Nightwing, I'm not claiming there hasn't been. Tim Seeley wrote a great run with Nightwing Rebirth. Seeley fleshed out Dick's Rogues Gallery with cool new ones like Raptor, he brought back old foes like Dr. Hurt (why oh why couldn't you have brought back Flamingo too?), he gave Dick's world some character it solely needed. Bludhaven under Seeley is pretty much the only time I've really felt like it lived up to being Dick's city.

The problem with fictional cities is you have to put in the work to give them the character of real cities. You have to make the cities feel like characters in their own right. Gotham is the best example of this, it's a character all it's own, one that tells you a lot about Batman and his cast. In contrast Bludhaven is usually one of the worst. Any place that wants to claim to be worse than the city that is built over the gate to hell and gets wrecked every other month by the Arkham freaks has to really put in the work to compete. Simply put, Bludhaven typically fails utterly. There's nothing about it that makes you really buy it's worse than Gotham, I mean does anyone really think Nightwing's Rogues wouldn't get their lunches eaten by Batman's? No, no one genuinely buys that. When Bludhaven claims to be worse, it just comes across as tryhard, an attribute that does end up telling you about Nightwing in unintentional ways.

So Seeley didn't do that. Instead he created a city built for a hero like Dick Grayson. Someone who is bright and flashy, but does have an element of darkness to him. Someone who loves the spotlight, but often uses it to obscure. Seeley turned Bludhaven into Las Vegas, and that was the fucking best concept for Bludhaven I have ever seen, it makes so much sense. Las Vegas is the "Entertainment Capital of the World" and isn't that the perfect city for a hero who got their start working in the circus? Isn't the aesthetics of the gleaming casinos, the glamorous sex appeal of the performers, and the spectacle of the shows, all being used to cover up the seediness of mob bosses meeting backstage perfect for Nightwing? It's so utterly unlike New York City, yet Las Vegas is still dangerous, it's got a crime culture all it's own. Seeley used it to great effect, as did Humphries during his brief run, and I will always be pissed that DC didn't continue to use it. That should have stuck around and been the definitive look for Bludhaven.

How Seeley's take on Bludhaven was treated feels like a small scale version of how Nightwing in general gets treated. Whenever creators pitched ideas for him, if editorial thought there was potential to break big, they asked for those ideas to be repurposed for Batman instead. Anything big or good gets repurposed for Batman or tossed to the side so Nightwing can go back to his default: having irrelevant adventures in a city that is supposedly worse than Gotham but can't live up to it. Just like how Nightwing is supposedly better than Batman but never gets to show it. Goddamn it's so frustrating seeing his potential get wasted like that.

The Nightwing book should be one of DC's most ambitious books in terms of storytelling. You can go from traditional superhero stories, to romantic soap opera, to spy stories, to crime noir, to horror, to cosmic adventures, and ALL of them would fit because Nightwing is someone who has a foot in both Gotham and Metropolis. He's got friends everywhere on every team, and has been a hero longer than most Leaguers have at this point. No reason DC should still be afraid to let him loose and insisting on hewing close to what Dixon established almost over 30 years ago is only holding him back. At the very least get him some better Rogues, why the hell didn't he get to keep Professor Pyg? That's Dick's villain not Bruce's! Bullshit that they didn't let Dick keep him. Hopefully Flamingo comes back, with a slight revamp I think he'd make a great reoccurring Nightwing Rogue.

Luckily it does look somewhat like Nightwing fans have reason to be optimistic. While Taylor isn't to my taste, DC clearly views him as a "big" writer, and that they put him on Nightwing says a lot. Taylor has been selling well so far, so hopefully he gets to tell his story, hilarious that even he lampshaded having to write Dick running over to Gotham for another tie-in after Taylor's big opening arc was all about Dick committing himself and his money to Bludhaven. Scott Snyder is apparently working on a Black Label Nightwing book which will explore how he's a different detective than Bruce. The Gotham Knights video game has him as one of the main stars, and while Titans is... controversial, it's one of the most popular streaming shows and Dick is the main character. There's a lot of content coming that features him in the starring role, and that will only help his star rise further.

For the first time in, well, ever it feels like DC may be serious about elevating him. Time will tell if it pays off, but I for one choose to be optimistic that the 2020s will be a turning point for Dick Grayson where Nightwing becomes hugely popular in his own right. Not just as Batman's sidekick.

#nightwing #dick grayson #batman #gotham knights #titans #dc comics

[lovelycleon]

So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness

But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”

I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).

Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.

So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.

So let's get to the fun part.

spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅

The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.

I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.

But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.

Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.

So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:

Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.

When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:

Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.

Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.

But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...

And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.

So no, I don't think that's it...

For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"

Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.

And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.

Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.

So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?

Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.

I just don't think it fits this specific situation.

The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.

So moving on.

Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.

This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀

But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?

The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.

Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂

Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.

And that's the point, right.

The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.

Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...

He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.

Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.

Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.

At the very least, it won't look good.

In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂

So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.

It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.

And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.

It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.

But he didn't lie. Why?

Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.

And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.

It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.

There is a lot of room for development here.

Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.

But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.

He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.

They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.

There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.

When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”

Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.

Now that's angst

Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.

Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.

What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.

Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.

And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)

And that's good angst.

Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".

Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.

Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?

It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.

Whatever happens after that is a mystery.

I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.

I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.

But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.

Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.

In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...

I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.

That's the trope.

So that's all I can hope for.

#cleon #this just got too long and l didn't write half of my thought 😅 #I only watch the show once but I've seen this scene a thousand times #I'll probably have more to say after rewatching everything again #leon kennedy #claire redfield #resident evil infinite darkness #leon x claire #claire x leon

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: as someone who’s been tormented for being a nerd, you’ve never viewed your friendly teasing towards your best friend seonghwa as bullying. but that is until he completely changes his style and image in school, confronting you about your past behaviour, so you have no choice but to admit the real reason why you’ve been making fun of him...

pairing: popular boy!seonghwa x nerd!reader

genre: high school!AU (the characters are 18 for the spicy parts huehehe), best friends to fake dating to lovers, angst, romance, smut, fluff

warnings: friendly teasing, clichéd/unrealistic portrayal of high school dynamics, hwa does kabedon on yn like once, seonghwa’s a bit of a tsundere, fake dating, hints of possessiveness, slightly problematic remarks, yn is briefly hwa’s slave?! (no, i will not elaborate), bullying, mean girls, insults, hair-pulling, kicking, death threats, some swearing, self-blame, power play, overuse of pet names (princess, baby, little girl, etc.), sir kink (i won’t apologize lol), begging, yunho being nosy (yes, that’s a warning), mention of hypothetical collars, insecurities, making out, loss of virginities, lots of kissing, soft dom!hwa, eating out, fingering, blowjob, consensual protected sex, dirty talk, praising, aftercare, crying, hurt&comfort, a lot of dorky references (cuz that’s me, after all), jumping off a balcony (don’t try this at home!), happy ending

author’s note: will i ever stop bullying poor hwa’s kermit hoodie? no. jk, i lov him so much, he’s so talented & gorgeous no matter what he wears ;-;

disclaimer: all jokes aside, i do not in any way condone bullying and this work is entirely fictional for entertainment purposes! i’ve been physically and emotionally tormented in school and though i have not talked much about it, i do not wish such an experience to anyone! treating people with kindness is cool and i hope everyone spreads more love! ❤️

word count: 9.4k

Having been best friends with Seonghwa for four years now (ever since your first year in high school), you couldn’t help but making fun of every little adorable thing he did. And honestly, you admired his patience when it came to putting up with your incessant teasing. Diligently cleaning up everything after him? You’d call him a neat freak. Not being able to drink coffee? You’d call him a teacup loser. 

So, when he started wearing that green hoodie of his to school, you couldn’t resist the temptation to call him Kermit the frog. And at first, it all started as a joke. But then the nickname kinda stuck and you just kept addressing him as Kermit, even if he wasn’t wearing the delectable green hoodie. And at one point, you could tell that poor Seonghwa was not a huge fan of the whole thing. But he never called you out on it or told you to stop. He never teased you back for being a hopeless nerd who studied 24/7 and read books for fun. So, you kept going.

Until the summer before your last year in high school arrived. Sadly, Seonghwa was going to be out of the country for the whole vacation. You were going to miss him terribly, you realized. You had become so used to seeing him everyday that you couldn’t imagine how you’d last three months without being able to see his pretty face all the time. You’d occasionally text him memes and ask him what he was up to. But as the summer was coming to an end, his replies became less and less frequent, more and more concise. You kept wondering if you’d done something wrong. It couldn’t be the Kermit thing, you began telling yourself. After all, it was normal to tease your best friend every once in a while. Right?

When the first day of your last year in high school came, you were nervously anticipating the moment when you’d see Seonghwa again. Summer without him had been so boring and you couldn’t wait to hug him again and find a new thing to joke about.

The second you saw him, you instinctively knew there would be no more joking around. Seonghwa practically walked into the school hallway like he owned the place. He’d completely changed his style and overall image. Gone were the dorky hoodies you secretly loved so much. Instead, they were replaced by a black leather jacket. Gone were the casual sweatpants he looked so good in. In their place were dark jeans that made him look kinda dangerous. And the whole confidence with which he carried himself was just totally different. 

If you had known that a summer abroad could change a person so much, you would have tried harder at convincing him to stay in the country. On top of it all, he was now hanging out with a bunch of popular a-holes that you had never talked to before. Honestly, you couldn’t even gather the courage to approach your best friend. He looked so distant and unfamiliar that you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Especially when you heard him laughing at the cool kids’ jokes. That should have been you...

You remembered when you were the one making him giggle, as if it was a century ago, when in reality it was just a couple of months. You kept sighing during the whole day, not daring to even talk to him. If he wanted to still hang out with you after his sudden “change in status”, he would, you kept convincing yourself. But he didn’t. In fact, he ignored you the whole day, making you feel like shit.

Just as you were leaving the school building in a hurry, mentally prepared for an evening of crying your eyes out and eating ice cream, you felt a hand grabbing you tightly. Turning around, you were surprised to find Seonghwa’s eyes staring back at you.

“Hi, princess,” he greeted you calmly.

“H-hi, S-seonghwa,” you responded dumbly.

“What? No witty comeback?” Seonghwa scoffed, smirking.

“What are you talking about?”

“Aren’t you gonna bully me and call me names again? Kermit? Teacup loser? Neat freak? What’s it gonna be this time?” he spat out, pushing you against the school wall and extending his arms to touch the cold bricks so that you would feel trapped.

“Bully you?” you whispered in disbelief. “H-hwa, I wasn’t...I didn’t m-mean...”

“Oh, yeah?” he mocked your stuttering self. “Then, why did you say all these things, huh?”

“You know why,” you replied.

“No, I don’t. So, tell me right now or I swear, I can make your existence a living hell,” Seonghwa threatened.

“Because I like you, you idiot!” you cried out. “I like you so that’s why I’ve been teasing you. Because if I didn’t, I would have to admit how attractive I find all your habits. How adorable it is when you used to tidy your desk and how sexy you looked in that damned green hoodie. There, I said it. Are you happy now?”

You were so frustrated with the way he ignored you all day only to accuse you of bullying him that you ducked your head swiftly beneath his arm, simultaneously bending your knees, and, thus, successfully escaping from Seonghwa’s ambush.

“Y/N, wait!” he called after you, but you were running too fast and luck was on your side, as the bus arrived at that exact same moment, allowing you to get on it, before he could.

You couldn’t sleep much that night, tormented by the fact Seonghwa had confused your friendly jokes with bullying and how foolishly you’d confessed your feelings for him. You were certain that your affections were unrequited and now that he had this whole new position in the school hierarchy, he would undoubtedly make fun of you for them. You were even considering transferring to another school to avoid the potential embarrassment.

In the morning, no sooner had you finished breakfast in the comfort of your room than you heard loud honks. They were unlike the ones in your dad’s car so you couldn’t help but wonder what jerk had decided to park in front of your house and make your day even worse.

“Sweetie,” your mom informed you a bit after. “Your friend Seonghwa is here. He said he’ll drive you to school today. As promised.”

“He did?” you mumbled in confusion. But maybe because you weren’t ready to talk to your mom yet about what happened yesterday, you lied. “Ah, that’s right, I almost forgot.”

Hurriedly, you grabbed your bag and practically sprinted downstairs. You were curious to see what he wanted. And that’s exactly what you asked the minute you entered his car.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Aw, no good morning for me, princess?” Seonghwa pouted and God, you hated how cute you found him after the way he’d treated you the previous day. “What does it look like I’m doing?” he rolled his eyes, starting the engine. “I’m driving you to school.”

“I can see that. But why?” you hissed.

“Well, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed,” he groaned. “If you’re so insistent on finding out, I’ll tell you. Ever since you told me how you felt yesterday, I’ve been thinking...And I’ve come to the conclusion that you have two options. Option number one is to enjoy your hellish last year of high school. You’ve had your fair share of teasing me so I’m definitely going to enjoy telling everyone about your little crush on me. It’s going to be so much fun to embarrass you in front of the whole school.”

What the fuck was wrong with him? Seonghwa was supposed to be your best friend! Why was he suddenly acting like you were worth less than a dirty rug? Was it possible that he had changed so much in the span of three months? Or was he always like that? Had you been blinded by his good looks? No, that definitely wasn’t the case. Seonghwa was the sweetest guy you’d ever known. How did he get so...cold? Cold enough to chill your bones.

“And what’s option number two?” you grunted, already anticipating the worst.

“So, there’s this annoying girl in our class I want to avoid at all costs. Just because her parents are doing business with mine does not mean I’m into her. Option number two is for us to pretend we’re dating in school. Considering how much you like me, I’m assuming it won’t be very difficult for you to pretend. If you agree, that is.”

What a jerk...You shared your sincere feelings with your best friend and that’s the first thing that crossed his mind? To use you in order to avoid some random girl? If it was any other guy, you would have said no. If you weren’t desperate for even a fraction of Seonghwa’s time and attention, you would have said no. If you weren’t so pathetically whipped for him, you would have said no.

“I’ll do it,” you said. “For how long do you need me to be your fake girlfriend?”

“Just until graduation. Then, we’ll fake break up and each go our separate ways. How does that sound?”

It sounded terrible! You wanted Seonghwa to be a part of your life forever. But with the way he was treating you, you weren’t confident he felt the same way anymore.

“Sounds great,” you lied, because you couldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing your thoughts. You’d never be perceived as weak again.

The second you walked into school, Seonghwa’s arm wrapped possessively around your shoulder, everyone’s eyes were on you. It was like high-schoolers had no better thing to occupy their time with but to gossip around the latest dating news. If you weren’t enjoying his company so much, you would have found their reactions pathetic. And somewhat unnerving.

“When did you two lovebirds start seeing each other?” one of Seonghwa’s popular friends Yunho asked.

“Oh, you know what they say. A girl and a guy can’t stay just friends for long,” Seonghwa responded.

You internally rolled your eyes. Your best friend before the summer would have never said such a thing. Whatever the reason for his current behaviour was, you would get to the bottom of it. And right now, you felt like going along with this whole fake dating thing was your best chance at unraveling the mystery.

For the first day of your little arrangement, everything seemed to be going fine. Everyone was staring at you two but you didn’t mind. All you cared about was him. However, soon enough Seonghwa started asking you for weird things.

“Carry my bag for me.” / “Get me a drink from the vending machine, will you?” / “Bring me a snack from the supermarket across the street.” / “Oh, and for my friends, too, doll.”

Seriously, it was getting infuriating. You no longer felt like you were his bestie. You didn’t even feel like you were his fake girlfriend. At this point, you had practically become his slave! Running any errand and carrying his stuff for him. But what was the alternative? If you refused to play your part in this pretend dating scheme, he could easily turn against you and make fun of you in front of the whole school. So, you kept your mouth shut and swallowed your pride.

One evening, around a month after the fake dating agreement had started, you had stayed in the library a bit longer to prepare for an upcoming assignment. By the time you were out of the school building, you supposed that Seonghwa had already gone home. Frankly, the only nice thing he was intent on doing for you was driving you to school and back to your place most of the days.

As you were making your way towards the bus stop, you had the strangest suspicion you were being followed. Not daring to turn around, you started walking faster. But unfortunately, your attackers also sped up and soon enough, you were surrounded by a group of angry faces. Their leader was obviously Eunhee, the most popular girl in the whole school. And coincidentally, this was also the girl whose parents were doing business with Seonghwa’s parents. The very reason you were fake dating your best friend in the first place.

“Well, if it isn’t the little bookshrimp,” she mocked you, sticking a sharp nail into your chest. You didn’t bother correcting her that the right term was bookworm. You were already in enough trouble as it was. For some reason, teasing Seonghwa had been easy because you meant well and you were sure he wouldn’t hurt you. Not really. Because he knew how badly you’d been bullied in middle school. But now that you were met with so many threatening figures, you froze rightaway, unable to defend yourself.

“Just l-leave me alone,” you stammered.

“Aw, aren’t you a little pathetic shrimpie?” Eunhee cooed and started pulling your hair harshly and kicking you onto the ground. The other girls were holding you down so that you wouldn’t fight back. “Did you seriously believe you can steal Seonghwa from me? We’re meant to be together and if you stand in our way, I will fucking kill you!”

“S-stop, you’re hurting me!” you exclaimed sorrowfully. You tried your best to shield yourself and push her away but her loyal minions were preventing you from doing so. Just as Eunhee was about to slap you across the face, you witnessed as her threatening hand was stopped mid-air by the interloper whose features you couldn’t quite discern in the dark. But whose voice you would recognize anywhere.

“You think you’re so brave?” Seonghwa yelled at Eunhee and her friends. “Ganging up on her like that? Six against one? You’re the pathetic ones.”

“Hwa, we were just trying to teach her a lesson. She should learn her place, after all,” Eunhee tried to explain.

“A lesson?” he scoffed. “You dumbasses can’t even pass Calculus and you want to teach the smartest girl in our school a lesson?” your heart melted with warmth at how highly he thought of you. “Oh, that’s rich.”

“You won’t tell my dad, right?” Eunhee was suddenly on the defensive. She’d probably be in big trouble if he found out how his precious daughter was behaving in school.

“Get out of my sight right now or I’ll tell the whole country,” Seonghwa threatened through gritted teeth. (Later on, he actually did tell her dad about the incident and Eunhee, along with her followers, were suspended from school for two weeks. Oh, and their rich parents cut off their money, which was pretty impressive an accomplishment). And so, the vicious girls scattered like roaches in daylight. Pulling you onto your feet, Seonghwa grabbed your hand and started walking towards his car which you somehow hadn’t noticed parked nearby. Getting inside, he started the engine immediately but his hands were clutching the steering wheel so hard you were feeling a bit scared. You had never seen your best friend so angry. Well, maybe the only other time that came close was when you were telling him about your past experiences with bullying...

“Are you mad at me?” you asked sheepishly.

“At you?” he chuckled harshly. “Why would I be mad at you? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I don’t know...”

“Why didn’t you fight them back?” Seonghwa inquired.

“I tried, but I was reminded of middle school and just...froze. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, I’m not blaming you,” he replied calmly. “I was just wondering. Cause I know you’ve been going to self-defense classes. And I thought you were making progress. I mean, the last time I came to watch, you were pretty good.”

That was before the summer. Of course it was. Still, you were touched by the fact that he remembered. Despite acting like he didn’t care, you instinctively knew he did.

“I mean, I was,” you said. “But I panicked.”

Seonghwa let go of the wheel with one hand and placed it on your bare knee, rubbing calming circles around it. You two were alone so you were certain this was no longer the fake dating thing. This was just your best friend being there for you when you needed him the most.

“If anyone tries that shit again, just tell them you’re my girlfriend, alright? They have to be idiots to mess with you,” he spoke angrily.

“Fake girlfriend,” you reminded him sadly.

“That’s none of their business,” he replied, but didn’t correct you. Oh, how badly you wished to be his real girlfriend. To show him how much you cared for him.

“Why did you change so much over the summer?” you suddenly asked, while Seonghwa was driving you home.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Seonghwa responded harshly. “You don’t like my green hoodie and you also don’t like my leather jacket? There’s really no satisfying you, is there?”

“I didn’t mean your clothes,” you mumbled. “Just...your overall attitude towards me. Before the summer you used to let me squeeze your cheeks and sit in your lap and now you seem so...unapproachable. I’m just saying, we were closer when I was your best friend than we are now that I’m your fake girlfriend.”

Seonghwa stopped the car abruptly, making you blink in shock.

“I changed because I was sick of you treating me like a little boy and I wanted you to start seeing me as a man,” he admitted but without looking into your eyes.

“W-what are you saying?” you swallowed nervously.

“Nevermind.”

“No, you have to talk to me, Hwa!” you insisted desperately. “If you still consider me your best friend, be honest with me. Please.”

“This,” he gestured vaguely at you as he finally met your gaze. “This is exactly why I changed so much, Y/N. I don’t want to be your best friend anymore.”

His cruel words hurt you more than anything you’d ever experienced in your life. More than all the bullying, the slapping and getting pushed against a wall. Losing your best friend was your worst fear. But you had promised yourself to never be weak again. So the second he said that, you pulled the handle of the side door, attempting to get out of his car. Before you could do that, Seonghwa grabbed your hand, effectively keeping you in place.

“I want to be your boyfriend. For real this time,” he elaborated.

You stared at him in utter confusion.

“But...when I confessed, you acted like you didn’t care. Like I meant nothing to you.”

“Forget how I acted. I only offered the fake dating shit because I wanted to get closer to you again. Make up for the lost time during the summer. Do you honestly think I give a fuck about what Eunhee thinks or says about me? I just used that as an excuse. I’ve told her I’m not into her hundreds of times. And yes, maybe I have changed. Not because I don’t care about you. But because I do. You used to gush about Count Dracula and Darth Vader so much that I thought if I became the bad guy, you’d finally notice me. I wanted so terribly to impress you and make you stop seeing me as your adorable best friend that I got too lost in the feeling of holding power over you...Too lost to notice you liked me all along, didn’t you?”

“I did,” you whispered teary-eyed. “I do,” correcting yourself. “H-hwa, I’m so sorry to break it to you but-”

“If you reject me, I won’t be responsible for attempted murder,” Seonghwa interrupted you jokingly.

“I’m so sorry to break it to you,” you repeated with a sly smirk. “But no matter how hard you try to change, I will always see you as my adorable best friend. And though I have to admit I did stop teasing you temporarily, that was only because you suddenly started behaving like the dangerously sexy king of the high school. Can you blame me for feeling a little intimidated? I know I’ve said this before but I didn’t think me teasingly calling you Kermit would go this far. I never meant to hurt you, Hwa.”

“I know you didn’t, princess,” Seonghwa whispered, gently stroking your cheeks.

“And yes,” you smiled shyly, leaning into his touch.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want to be your real girlfriend. It would be a dream come true.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled, as if the very idea seemed amusing to him. “How badly do you want it?”

“So badly, I would do anything for you, sir,” you uttered the last word without thinking much, your brain somehow recalling a time when you two had discussed how you’d enjoy being called by a potential significant other. In retrospect, that wasn’t really a thing best friends generally talked about.

“Sir?” Seonghwa grinned, leaning his head against your forehead. “Keep that up and your real girlfriend status will be confirmed.”

“I want to kiss you so much,” you were on the verge of begging. Oh, screw it. “Please, please, let me kiss you.”

He didn’t respond, just connected your lips with his own softly, taking his time with you. It was pure magic. You had thought about kissing your best friend thousands of times. But nothing compared to the reality. Parting your lips further to let his tongue in, you physically couldn’t prevent yourself from moaning into his mouth, overwhelmed by how good it felt. How insanely intoxicating he tasted. How you were burning alive and it would be the sweetest death imaginable.

“Not if I kiss you first,” Seonghwa said once he broke the kiss apart. “Oh, wait, I just did.”

What the hell...had just happened? Sneaking a peak at the time, you were suddenly panicking by how late it was.

“Holy shit, my parents are going to kill me!” you exclaimed. “Can you please drive me home?”

“Sure thing, princess,” he laughed, increasingly amused by your flustered self. “That’s exactly what I was intending to do anyways. I’m not in the habit of keeping little girls past their bed time.”

“Shut up, I’m not a little girl!” you complained. “I’m just a few months younger than you. Asshole.”

“Hey! Is that any way to speak to your devoted boyfriend?” Seonghwa scolded you teasingly.

Oh, God. You loved the sound of that. Your best friend was now your boyfriend. It still felt unreal.

“I’m sorry, sir,” you mewled apologetically, already knowing how to make him weak for you with just one tiny word. “And thank you for taking me home.”

“Anytime,” Seonghwa smiled. “See you tomorrow, baby.”

You could get used to it. Reaching forward to open the door for you, he whispered in your ear:

“I’m taking you out on our first date. Doll yourself up for me, will you?”

You nodded, your heart beating too fast to actually manage a verbal response. After you got inside and suffered a brief interrogation from your parents (using the library+extra assignments excuse), you hurried up the stairs, took a quick shower and then went to bed. No sooner had you closed your eyes than your phone buzzed with notifications.

Kermit the Frog: You still up?

Kermit the Frog: For fear of sounding lame, I moss you already

Kermit the Frog: *Miss...damn autocorrect

You chuckled upon seeing his messages. Whatever demon possessed you to still keep that nickname in your chat, you knew you had to change it immediately. If he saw it on your first date tomorrow, you would never hear the end of it.

You: I’m awake, yes

You: And I moss you too 😉

You purposefully misspelled the word to tease him. After all, it was only in order.

Boyfie 🐸: That obnoxious Kermit nickname better be gone by tomorrow

He texted as if he’d read your mind and you gasped in surprise.

Boyfie 🐸: Or we’re having our first couple fight!!

You: How did you know?!?

Boyfie 🐸: Not my fault you keep your phone unlocked sometimes

Boyfie 🐸: I’m not kidding, change it right now 😡

You: Changed it already

You texted him back quickly, sending him a screenshot.

You: Can I at least keep the frog emoji? 🥺

Boyfie 🐸: NO!!! REMOVE IT OR WE BREAK UP 😡😡😡

You: Damnit, Hwa, your angery Aries is showing...okay, fineee

You sent another screenshot of the now changed emoji.

You: Happy now?

Boyfie ❤️🖤💙: Much better, princess 🤗🤗🤗

Boyfie ❤️🖤💙: Now go to sleep, we have early classes tomorrow

You: Wow, so bossy. Okay, sir, I’m going

Boyfie ❤️🖤💙: Good night, my baby 😘

You: Staaahp, ohmygosh. And good night, Hwa 🥺

The next morning you ran outside faster than The Flash as soon as you heard the oh-so-familiar honks. When you saw Seonghwa waiting there to pick you up, your heart did a backflip as you excitedly took the passenger seat.

“Good morning, boyfriend,” you greeted him and kissed his cheek. “This still feels so strange.”

“Well, you better get used to it, doll. Wow, you really cleaned up nicely today,” he complimented your pastel pink dress. “Not that you usually don’t! You’re always gorgeous, I just meant that you’re especially gorgeous and...nope, that also sounds wrong. Okay, I shut up now.”

“Relax,” you giggled. “It’s fine. I appreciate the effort. You don’t look so bad yourself. Oh, who am I kidding? You’re practically sex on legs 24/7. I think it’s time for me to shut up now.”

“You’re so cute when you get flustered. Anyone ever tell you that?”

“Just you,” you admitted.

Once you walked into the school, it was like everyone noticed the subtle change in your dynamic. Because Seonghwa did something he never did before. He carried your bag and gave you his leather jacket! And Hwa’s friends were immediately onto you like bees to honey.

“I mean, I knew you guys were dating,” Seonghwa’s friend Yunho observed. “But I never saw the chemistry before, to be honest. Until now. I mean, come on, Y/N was like a loyal puppy, always following Hwa around.”

“Hey, don’t give him any ideas!” you joked.

“Too late. Already ordered the collar,” Seonghwa winked.

“Kinky. Can’t tell if I’m into it or want to cut off my ears,” Yunho grinned. “Probably both.”

“Nice chat, but we gotta head to class, Yu,” Seonghwa said because his friend was in a different class.

“See you for lunch?” Yunho suggested.

“Can’t. Already made plans with this little girl,” Hwa tilted his head towards you.

“Whoo, enjoy, then!”

“It’s not what it sounds like!” you groaned, feeling uncharacteristically embarassed.

“Isn’t it?” Seonghwa smirked mysteriously and pulled you towards the room you had class in.

“Nothing involving collars and puppies, I assure you!” you yelled (perhaps a little too loudly), twisting your head, not wanting to give Yunho and the rest of Seonghwa’s friends the wrong idea.

When your classes for the day were over, Seonghwa led you towards his car once again. You were a bit nervous to make a good impression on your first date. Even though it was silly. Your best friend of four years had surely made a first impression a long time ago.

“Where are we going?” you asked to break the awkward silence.

“It’s a surprise, princess. Can you be patient for me?”

“I can,” you promised dutifully and placed your tiny hand on top of his. “Anything for you, sir.”

Seonghwa lost focus on the road for the briefest of moments in order to give you a warning look. One look and that was all you needed to keep you quiet and obedient. Eventually, you realized where he was taking you. Though you hadn’t been to his place for a couple of months now, you couldn’t forget how the drive to Seonghwa’s home looked.

“I dressed myself up and we’re just going to your place?” you hmphed in playful annoyance. “So much for our glamorous first date.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of my cooking skills. Shit, I sorta ruined the surprise, didn’t I?”

“Aww, you were planning to cook for me on our first date? Hwaaa, I’ve only had you as a boyfriend for less than 24 hours and you’re already pulling out the big guns! I don’t mean to push my luck but if you’re cooking now, I’m trembling to witness our one month anniversary.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

“You’re very ambitious to think you can put up with me for an entire month.”

”Hwa, sweetie, I’ve put up with you for four years.”

“Not as your boyfriend, you haven’t.”

“We’ll talk again in 30 days,” you vowed enigmatically.

“Here we are,” Seonghwa announced once he parked in front of his home. “My parents are currently at work so you don’t need to worry about...well, anything, really.”

“What’s the supposed to mean?” for some reason his words made you even more worried.

“Nothing, I just meant you can...like, be yourself. There’s no one to impress.”

“There’s you,” you pointed out. “Don’t forget your parents already know me. And besides, you’re the only person I care about impressing.” 

“Not to stroke your ego, but you’ve already impressed me. After all, you’re the only one who’s had the audacity to compare me to a freaking muppet and survived.”

“Point taken,” you chuckled.

“Come on, let’s get inside,” Seonghwa suggested and the two of you entered his house. No matter how much you begged him to let you help with the cooking, he was insistent that he would do all the work. Said something about making up to you for the times you had to carry his bag or buy snacks to him and his friends. When you argued that you also had some making up to do for all the times you teased him a little too insensitively, he said that you agreeing to be his real girlfriend was enough to satisfy his wounded heart. Seeing that there was no point in arguing, you gave up and occupied yourself by mindlessly scrolling through social media. About an hour later, Seonghwa finally deemed his culinary masterpieces ready to be eaten. He allowed you to at least help set the table which you considered a small victory. The second you tried the first meal, you were so overwhelmed by the exquisite tastes that you spoke without thinking much.

“God, I wanna marry you.”

Seonghwa simply chuckled, amused by your unexpected reaction.

“Did I say that out loud?” you whispered, completely mortified, covering your mouth in embarassment.

“I’m afraid so.”

“Shit, I’m such a mess,” you mumbled.

“No, it’s fine. I take it as a compliment. Now, eat up before it gets cold. If my wicked plan works, you’ll have bought me a wedding ring by the time dessert arrives.”

“Truly wicked. I’m in danger,” you laughed and kept enjoying the various meals Seonghwa had prepared. 

Once the plates were empty, you felt so full and warm you couldn’t possibly move. And no, that wasn’t an exaggeration. Seonghwa had to physically carry you to the couch so that you two would re-watch Star Wars: Return of the Jedi together, warmly cuddled up under a blanket.

Suddenly, you were possessed by the urge to speak your mind and be as honest with him as possible. After hiding your true feelings for four years, now that you were finally given the chance to be yourself, you were feeling uncharacteristically brave.

“You know, even though I was messing around earlier, I had indeed daydreamed about marrying you back in our first year of high school. You were the first boy who ever treated me like I wasn’t the walking joke of the universe. The first who ever hung out with me not as a prank but because you actually saw me as a friend. When I started teasing you about your cute habits, I hope you know I never wished to hurt you. I just wanted to show you that I notice and appreciate every single detail about you. So, yeah, I really like you, Hwa. Have liked you for a long time.”

Seonghwa had paused the movie the second you started talking. And now that you were done sharing your thoughts, he seemed unable to say anything. The silence was a bit awkward so you interrupted it once again.

“I’m sorry, that was silly. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable so early in our re-”

This time, he interrupted you with a kiss, pulling you into his lap, just like the good old days. You smiled into his mouth, wrapping your arms around him.

“It wasn’t silly. I appreciate you saying all that,” Seonghwa reassured you. “And for the record, I know you meant well with all the teasing. In a sense, a part of me even suspected that you liked me back. But I was also feeling a bit insecure. I kept thinking that you could do so much better than go out with dorky Kermit guy who has an obsession with tidying up, you know? That you deserved someone else. But I couldn’t allow anyone else to be that someone. So, I changed myself.”

“Maybe you did change a little. But in my heart, you’re always going to be my Frog Prince Hwa.”

“I hate you so much,” he rolled his eyes.

“Naw, you don’t.”

“Fine. I hate that you’re right.”

Things between you and Seonghwa were going great. It had been three months since you two started dating for real. He was super attentive and caring towards you. However, you were a bit bummed out since not much changed compared to his behaviour as your best friend and as your boyfriend. Sure, you did start kissing each other and occasionally making out (which wasn’t exactly a best friend activity). But there was one thing that still had not happened. And the more time passed, the more anxious you felt to bring it up.

One evening, you had miraculously convinced your parents to let you have a sleepover at Seonghwa’s place. After insisting that nothing out of the ordinary was going on between you two and even if something unusual did happen (which you highly doubted but secretly hoped for), you were going to use protection (and no, you were certainly not referring to Seonghwa’s collection of action figures who carried weapons).

As you and your boyfriend were enjoying your snacks while watching TV from the comfort of his bed, you couldn’t help but finally raise the question that had been tormenting your mind for a while now.

“S-seonghwa...do you not find me attractive?”

“What the hell are you asking me that for? Would you be my girlfriend if I didn’t find you attractive?”

“Well, I don’t know. I’ve never dated anyone before so...I was just wondering if there’s a particular reason why we still haven’t...taken things to the next level?”

“The next level?” he chuckled. “Relationships aren’t video games. And to answer your question, the reason’s actually the exact opposite of your concerns. We haven’t done anything more than making out because I find you ridiculously attractive. And it’s taking every last inch of my self-restraint to not pressure you into something you’re not comfortable with. I just wanted to wait until you’re ready.”

“Ready? So you knew that I haven’t...with anyone...yet?” you purposefully left out some words because you were feeling incredibly shy discussing this with Seonghwa.

“Of course I knew, princess. You’re my best friend. And my girlfriend.”

“Well, that’s a relief, at least. That you’re not repulsed by my...inexperience.”

“Why would I be when we’re in the same boat?”

“We are?” you whispered in shock.

“Why do you look so surprised?” Seonghwa laughed. “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since forever. Did you honestly think I would just screw anyone else?”

“Well, it’s not like you didn’t have options,” you pointed out, referring to all the potential love interests swarming around him like bees. “Unlike me.”

“Are you regretful, little girl?” he inquired, running a lazy finger across your cheek. “Jealous?”

“No, I just...want to be the best for you, sir,” you confessed nervously.

“You’re already the best I could hope for,” Seonghwa responded and kissed you hungrily, burying his hands into your hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” you curiously needed to know. “That you haven’t either...”

“It’s not something that comes up in everyday conversation?” he pointed out. “What was I supposed to say? Hi, bestie, let’s have lunch together. Oh and by the way, I’m a hopeless virgin pining over you?”

“You’re right,” you laughed. “It would have made things awkward.”

“Now, unless you have any other pressing issues, I suggest we go back to kissing.”

And without giving you the time to argue, Seonghwa devoured your lips rightaway, gently pushing you down so that your back hit the sheets. Then, he started slowly taking off your jeans. Anxiously trembling under his vigorous touch, you placed a hand against his chest. He immediately noticed and put a temporary halt to his ministrations.

“We don’t have to do this right now,” he comforted you with all the seriousness in his voice.

“No, I want to, I swear,” you nodded eagerly.

“Princess, you’re literally shaking,” Seonghwa remarked.

“What’s wrong with me?” you sighed.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect. Tell me to stop if you feel even the slightest hint of hesitation or discomfort and I will, I promise.”

“I know you would, Hwa. I trust you. But even if I’m a bit nervous, I want to do this with you. Please?”

“Well, I can’t deny you since you’re asking so nicely,” he grinned and continued where he left off. “Can I get rid of these?” Seonghwa inquired, carefully pushing your panties to the side.

“Yes, you can do anything to me.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you really shouldn’t have said that,” he chuckled darkly and tore your underwear savagely. You couldn’t even gather the energy to complain about the ruination of your new pair, you were far too turned on by Seonghwa’s aggressive nature to care. He didn’t waste any more time, grabbing your thighs to hold them in place, he began licking your pussy with his tongue and stimulating it with his long fingers. It didn’t take long for you to start squirming beneath his touch, helplessly moaning his name. He didn’t cease his merciless movements until you reached your orgasm. When your breathing finally eased, you gathered the energy to speak again:

“I thought you said you’ve never done this before? How were you so...so...”

“So good?” Seonghwa smirked confidently and bit his lower lip. “I mean...I’ve seen videos. Read some things here and there.”

“Honestly? I think you’re a god.”

“You’ll have to stop complimenting me so much or I’ll develop a god complex,” he joked. “What do you want to do next, baby?”

“I want to suck you off,” you mumbled.

“Who taught you such dirty language?”

“Hey! I read, too,” you pouted and assuredly made your way towards the carpet next to his bed.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Seonghwa asked.

“Aren’t I supposed to kneel in order to pleasure you, sir?”

“Princesses never kneel,” he instructed and got up from the bed, urging you to lie down with your head hanging from the very edge of the bed and make yourself comfortable. “Open up that pretty little mouth for me, will you?”

You did as he asked obediently and even went the extra mile to stick your tongue out. Unbuckling his belt and throwing it to the side, Seonghwa was quick to follow your wishes and let his cock spring free from his jeans. Your mouth went dry at the sight of his monstrous size. Seeing your worries if it will fit reflected in your eyes, he expressed his concern for you:

“Are you sure about this?”

“Please, please, I need you,” you whimpered without thinking, eager to have a taste. Without making you wait any longer, Seonghwa pushed the tip of his cock inside, gently letting your cheeks get used to the unfamiliar feeling. Slowly, he went deeper, allowing you to acquaint yourself with the stretch. When you kept blinking at him in anticipation, he realized you were ready for more and began moving faster, fucking into your mouth at a steady pace. As he neared his high, his motions became less controlled you were sucking more intently, impatient to swallow every last drop of him.

“Shit, I’m going to-” he attempted to break away, but you managed to wrap your hands at the back of his legs in order to keep his cock inside your mouth. 

Seconds later, he released his cum and you began drinking it thirstily. When you had made certain that no drop was wasted, you finally let go of his legs, allowing your boyfriend’s dick to dangle freely outside of your mouth.

“You’re fucking incredible,” Seonghwa praised you and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. “My incredible girl.”

“I’m only yours, sir,” you mumbled, way too affected by him.

“You like this, don’t you?” he mocked you teasingly.

“Yes, sir, I want to belong to you,” you whimpered and turned around to pull him back into bed.

“Your wish is my command, princess,” Seonghwa smiled fondly and took a mysterious package out of the back pocket of his jeans. Soon enough, you realized what it was, as he started lining up the condom on his cock.

“Oooh, I brought one of those, as well!” you exclaimed in surprise.

“You came here on a mission, didn’t you? Wicked little thing,” he tsked in fake disapproval.

“It’s not my fault you’re walking around like an Adonis,” you defended yourself boldly.

“You’re one to speak. Freaking goddess,” Seonghwa complimented you and slowly began unbuttoning your shirt you had somehow forgotten you were still wearing. “Is this okay?” he asked softly, always making sure you were feeling safe.

“More than okay,” you consented. Left in nothing but your baby pink bra, you unintentionally shivered at the sudden cold air surrounding you. Soon after that, Seonghwa undid the clasps and you were now only wearing your birthday suit. Feeling a bit timid, you self-consciously covered your breasts and broke eye contact with your boyfriend.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” he pressed the palm of his hand against your cheek. “Do you want to stop?”

You weakly shook your head and somehow managed to gather the strength to look into his beautifully dark eyes once again.

“Then, let me see you, yeah?” Seonghwa nudged your hands away gently. “You’re so beautiful, baby.”

You blushed at his sudden praise and allowed him to have a look. But seconds later, you were getting a bit impatient.

“Please, Hwa, I want you so much.”

“Anything for my princess,” he chuckled and coaxed his tip at your entrance slowly. When you gave him a sign he could go deeper, his movements became bolder. “Fuck, you’re taking me so well.”

“M-more, sir, I swear I can do this,” you begged as you were beginning to unravel beneath him. As he fucked you faster into oblivion, you were no longer thinking straight and his name was the only word you were capable of uttering. Over and over again. Until you both came, blissfully lost in each other’s arms.

“Here, let me clean you up,” Seonghwa offered sweetly, picking you up with little effort and carrying you to the bathtub. 

When he started shampooing your hair, rubbing body lotion into your sensitive skin and covering your neck with soft kisses, you couldn’t stop your tears from falling, touched by his infinite tenderness and by the sheer intimacy of the gesture.

“Darling, are you crying?” he questioned you upon hearing your hiccups.

“N-no,” you lied but it was useless, because it was quite obvious you were, in fact, bawling your eyes out.

“Did I hurt you, my sweet princess?” Seonghwa asked in concern.

“How...how could you think that?” you whimpered. “You’ve been nothing but kind and caring towards me. It’s just that...this is the first time I’ve felt so...special, so worthy, so...”

“Loved?” he offered the word you had been seeking for but had been too scared to utter out loud.

“Y-yeah,” you confirmed shyly. “Is it too early to say this? I’m sorry if it is but...I love you, Seonghwa.”

He simply stared at you in disbelief for a couple of seconds. This time, you were once again the one to break the deafening silence.

“You don’t have to say it back. I just...I wanted you to know. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way but-”

“I love you too, baby. Of course I do,” Seonghwa reassured you. “And I’m not just saying it, I don’t feel obliged to say it. As my best friend, you know me better than anyone else. And you know I don’t do things unless I want to. So, believe me when I say this.”

“Fuck,” you uttered and only started crying harder in his arms.

“Shhh, you’re safe with me, sweetheart. I would never harm you,” he comforted you and stroked your hair lovingly, putting all your worries and self-doubts at the very back of your head.

After you were all dried up from the bath and had put on your boyfriend’s shirt while he was still in the shower, you were feeling uncharacteristically confident. Confident enough to look for something you hadn’t seen for a while. You had been wondering if he had it hanging around somewhere in his wardrobe. And after a short period of rummaging you found your treasure. The green hoodie. The Kermit hoodie. You smiled mischievously as you changed into it. It still smelled like him, you beamed. Back when he was simply your best friend, the amount of times you had fantasized about him lending it to you should have been illegal. So now that you had been promoted to his girlfriend, you simply couldn’t let such an opportunity pass you by.

Once Seonghwa got out of the shower, water droplets running down the divine skin on his bare chest, you were too busy staring at him in all his beauty and glory to notice the angry look on his face.

“How did you even find this? It was hidden so well in my wardrobe,” he scowled.

“Don’t be mad,” you pouted adorably. “I look so cute in it, right?”

“Cuter than me, that’s for sure,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes and tickled your belly.

“That’s impossible, you make the cutest Kermit,” you giggled, enjoying how easy it was to get on his nerves.

“You’ll never let me live this down, will you?” he groaned.

“Never ever, my stunning Frog Prince,” you vowed and kissed him quickly, taking him by surprise. His eyes widened in shock and he seemed too flustered to continue scolding you.

“You’re in luck today. Nothing can ruin my good mood,” Seonghwa was determined.

“Great,” you grinned gleefully. “Cause from now on, I intend on making all your days filled with joy.”

“From now on?” he chuckled sarcastically. “Oh, princess, my days have been filled with nothing but joy ever since I met you.”

And indeed, both Seonghwa’s days and yours were nothing but pure happiness ever since you decided to make your relationship real. And despite his foolish statement that he no longer wanted to be your best friend, you had somehow managed to convince him that he was both your boyfriend and bestie and that was perfectly okay. As if in the blink of an eye, spring came which meant that the whole school was in nervous excitement about the upcoming prom. Generally, you weren’t the type to get overwhelmed about such a trivial topic. But now that you were dating Seonghwa, the most popular guy in the school, you couldn’t help but worry a little. What if he wanted to go with someone else? Someone equal in “status”? Your worries and insecurities further intensified when he started asking questions in a weird way.

“I need your help,” Seonghwa blurted out over lunch.

“Shoot.”

“Okay, so, I have this friend. And he really likes this girl and wants to ask her to prom. What do you think would make her happy?”

You blinked in surprise. You knew that when people pulled the “I’m just asking for a friend” card, they were most likely talking about themselves. Was he seriously thinking of inviting another girl to prom? You tensed a little but tried really hard to remain neutral in your answer and actually make an attempt to help your bestie.

“I mean, all girls are different,” you reasoned. “If you describe her to me, maybe I’ll be able to give a more appropriate suggestion.”

“She’s a bit like you. You know, kinda bookish and-”

“It’s alright, Seonghwa, you can say it. I’m a nerd.”

“Well, yes, but...”

“It’s not exactly a slur,” you chuckled coldly.

“I know, but that’s what your bullies in middle school called you. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive,” Hwa put his hand on top of yours in a gentle, comforting manner.

“It’s fine when if you say it,” you smiled. “I won’t get offended.”

“I was going to say my friend’s crush is intelligent like you but, oh well.”

“That does sound better, I admit,” you giggled.

“She’s also a bit shy and introverted so maybe she wouldn’t enjoy a public promposal. Crowds tend to make her nervous,” Seonghwa observed.

“Seems like you didn’t need my help after all,” you scoffed playfully.

“No, I do! I still haven’t come up with an actual way to propose. I mean, for my friend.”

“Right. Your friend. Well, he can’t go wrong with some poetry under her balcony. If she has one, that is.”

“I’m pretty sure she does.” Seonghwa smirked. “Alright, thanks.”

He jumped from his seat, not even having finished his lunch.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“I gotta prepare my friend’s promposal,” he shrugged and disappeared from your sight, leaving you a bit crest-fallen. If he was intending on asking you, he wouldn’t have turned to you for help, right? That would sorta ruin the element of surprise, wouldn’t it? And yet, you knew that Seonghwa wasn’t the type to care about people’s opinions and randomly ask a more popular girl out because of public demand. And he definitely wasn’t the kind of person to just date you for kicks and then ditch you at prom. Despite those very logical reasons, you couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.

A week later, you realized all your worries had been for nothing. It was a Sunday morning and you had just finished having breakfast with your family. You were leisurely reading on your bed when you heard some suspicious noises coming from your window. You looked up from your book and you could swear you saw tiny rocks hitting the glass! You jumped up angrily, half-expecting to find a bunch of neighbour kids pulling a prank. But you were surprised when you spotted your boyfriend standing under your balcony. Wearing his iconic green hoodie.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered, though a hopeful part of you already knew the answer.

“But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,” he recited diligently in a song-like manner.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his overdramatic acting but it was the effort that touched you immensely.

“And none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were!” he continued sweetly.

You were so in love with this man it was insane.

“Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, Having some business, do entreat her eyes To twinkle in their spheres till they return,” Seonghwa kept going.

You couldn’t resist the urge to leap off the balcony. It was just the second floor so what could possibly go wrong? Other than a scraped knee and a bit of a limp. God, you were such an idiot.

“Shit, are you okay?” Seonghwa asked in terror and wrapped his arms around you.

“The excruciating pain is worth it if I get to hug you like this,” you grinned, leaning against him for support.

“Why couldn’t you just walk down the stairs like a normal person?”

“And what’s romantic about that?” you joked. “Jumping off a balcony makes for a much better story.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Only for you, my sweet Frogmeo!” you teased and kissed his cheek.

“Wait, I wasn’t finished!” Seonghwa exclaimed excitedly, not bothering to act offended about your obsession with him and that Kermit hoodie. “There was something about cheeks, I swear.”

“See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!” you helped him out dutifully.

“O, that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!” he finished proudly and placed his palm against your cheek.

“Only you could possibly mix Romeo and Juliet with The Frog Prince and somehow make it work,” you praised him.

“Does that mean you’ll go to prom with me?” Seonghwa tilted his head to the side adorably.

“Of course I will, baby,” you responded happily.

“Thank God, ‘cause learning that monologue drained my soul and brain,” he whistled playfully.

“You know, you had me worried there for a second,” you confessed reluctantly, because you didn’t want to keep any secrets from your doting boyfriend.

“When?” Seonghwa asked in confusion.

“Lunchtime. A week ago. When you asked me for advice. I thought that...”

“That I would ask someone else?” he correctly guessed your suspicions. And you nodded. “Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me?”

“No, you’re perfect. In fact, too perfect. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve you.”

Seonghwa smiled sadly and kissed the top of your head. But he wasn’t angry with you. Just wanted to erase those silly thoughts from your mind.

“You deserve so much more, princess. But I’ll try my best to give you all I can.”

“As will I,” you promised and mischievously pulled the drawstrings on his hoodie, making his face squished adorably.

“If this is the best you’re capable of, I dread to see your worst,” he shook his head in amusement.

“Prince Frogmeo and the Nerdy Princess,” you sighed wistfully. “That would make a hell of a fairy tale, wouldn’t it?”

“How about Kermit the Frog whoops the Princess’s ass for being a brat?” Seonghwa threatened jokingly.

“You know what? I wouldn’t say no to that,” you giggled and started running away from him. “If you catch me first!”

Prom night arrived and despite all the preparations and excitements around it, it was nothing special in itself. What made it special, however, were the moments you spent with Seonghwa. Just dancing and talking seemed to be enough to make your heart leap with joy. And the smile never left your face the entire night.

“School’s really ending, huh?” you spoke aloud without thinking, while you were swaying slightly to the music in your boyfriend’s arms.

“This isn’t the end of us. We’ll go to college, we’ll grow up. The best is yet to come, darling.”

“You know what I meant,” you replied, a hint of sadness tinging your tone. “In college, I’ll study Literature, you’ll study Music. We’ll no longer be able to sit next to each other in class or exchange notes or hold hands under the desk.”

“We’ll do all sorts of other things,” Seonghwa responded cheerfully, trying to think positive. “We’ll have study dates in college, we’ll visit new restaurants and make more memories together. Just because high school is over, doesn’t mean we are. I’m not giving up on my best friend ever.”

“Your girlfriend,” you corrected him playfully.

“My best friend,” he repeated. “You were right. Being in love with each other doesn’t nullify our friendship. Both are equally important to me. You are the most important to me.”

“God, Hwa, how can you say such things so easily?”

“Is your heart fluttering?” your boyfriend and best friend teased you, swirling you around while dancing. You were met with his beautiful dark gaze again as he murmured: “Hi, princess.”

“H-hi, S-seonghwa,” you chuckled in response.

And you were finally home.

The End

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