#but like. idk. it's still weird to realize that I'm recognizable. going from being known everywhere as a kid of well known parents to now

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #also. when I want compliments I always wear my lantern earring. kids love it. adults love it. and people are surprised to hear I made it #like. idk. sometimes I want to be noticed so it's a very easy way to achieve that goal. #I was on break and someone with a question was like “do you work here?” and like. bestie? I do not look like I work at a hardware store #so you just know he recognized me out of apron and still asked. I was literally munching a sandwich while walking through the store on brea #but like. idk. it's still weird to realize that I'm recognizable. going from being known everywhere as a kid of well known parents to now #it's kind of weird to have people I don't recognize still recognize me. but it's nice to be known on my own terms #like. the tall girl with the cheekbones over there. that dude with nice hair and quirky earrings. idk. it's nice to be known for me #also. once again. I get that I stand out for being eternally cheery and smiling but it's still wild to me that others do not #I genuinely cannot frown. best I can do is glare daggers with a dangerously neutral face. my mouth doesn't curve down ever #how do people do that? I get asked to help and I will immediately drop what I'm doing to help. I'll stay half an hour over shift to help #hell. I've stayed two hours over when I was a nursing assistant. #idk. why does being kind make me special? why does being nice make me stand out? isn't the world supposed to work that way? #ngl I still feel like I'm twelve sometimes. like. I get that I'm an adult now but why #why is “adult” synonymous with angry and rude and impatient and inconsiderate and unhappy? #idk idk idk idk idk I get that people care about life more than I do. I would die tomorrow and not even feel that bad about it. #but while I'm stuck here I'll be damned if I don't do my best to make this a life worth being trapped in. #we can't all get hit by a truck and die on impact. some of us have to live. so make it easy on us okay? #anyway. idk. zest for life. joi de vivre or whatever. I know I'm capricious. I want to be capriciously happy. I want those ups. #forgot to mention the lantern earring was an idea I had whole in the hospital so making it was kind of a commitment to getting better #it was my first goal after getting out