#but sometimes it's just so passive-aggressive and like. written like the character did a personal attack on YOU | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkomcranger · 3 months

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About the white asshole line: it's not as left field as people think tbh There's a similar line in the first AW game from Alice (in the DLC, Wake's version of her since it's all in his head). She uses the term 'while male melodrama'. This is literally Wake's own mind so he knows a lot of stuff he put her through was from a perspective of a person who has a lot of advantages. Back to Saga, that line aligns with the racism we are hinted she dealt with in her field and STILL deals with in present day. Mulligan and Thornton are racist af (haven't seen anyone discuss this yet) to her even if they seem pleasant at the start of the game. Not entirely either, when Saga and Casey meet Mulligan he automatically assumed Casey is the lead agent. He apologizes about it but there's an air that neither him or Thorton take Saga seriously. They barely speak directly to her and instead more to Casey unless she directly speaks to either. It's that seemingly benign, passive racism that is more toxic sometimes, especially in a work environment. In her face they show some surface level, thinly veiled respect but behind her back they called her a 'stuck up FBI bitch'. Part of the horror story adds she let her daughter drown so they doubt her work entirely. And concerning the Bookers, there's this passive aggressive comment where Thorton says the case of the murder of Nightingale would've been solved if the FBI wasn't involved. Thorton says something like "they stick with their own". Now, this could be seen as city folk stick with their own but the Bookers are black, this was purposeful imo. I honestly liked how Remedy incorporated this in such a realistic way. Some could dispute this and say "that's circumstantial/reaching" but lets not forget both Mulligan and Thorton are literally the bastard law enforcement type that kills are the drop of a pin. They killed that woman while enthralled with this feeling of power (referencing the page about it) and threw her body in the well to hide it, blaming the death on each other at first before they decide it's neither of their faults and hide the evidence. They become taken being so twisted in their dark ways. They are bad guys, I'd argue misogynistic too. And lets add a layer of actual parallels to rl racism to the mix here now. If she dealt with that in Bright Falls on her first day I can only imagine the assholes she had to deal with climbing her way up in the FBI, in life in general. This is why her mother is a strong foundation, they are not only close because they loved each other but she made sure she'd be strong. Parents who have mixed kids (black kids especially) know what they will deal with. Maybe even a meta thing like Spiderverse, adding the backlash into the story. Which she did and still does get from gamerz (tm). People STILL bring up that "race swap" from the Quantum Break trailer which is honestly just early concept stuff. Saga is written so well and carefully that even her problems outside the pace of the story seems to have been considered. So while it does seem random and may make people uncomfortable it's purposeful. Remedy really captured this aspect with Saga without making it her personality or the core part of her (like she just there for black trauma, so glad they did not do that and made her a character with experiences). Let's not forget Saga's field of work. We know it's predominantly white. Her saying 'another white asshole' says more about her experiences than anything else. And being at her lowest where her insecurities, doubts, fears thrive it says something about her agency and how sometimes it can feel taken from her based on her skin tone, gender, so forth. Sorry for the long ask! It's just, this line definitely does not feel like it's random to me. I was just shocked I heard it but the game lays down the ground work for it to be said. It's as subtle as the worst kind of racism though imo

I'm VERY interested by imagined!Alice's line because while we don't know if she actually feels that way, we see Alan can acknowledge that he KNOWS how lucky he is by virtue of being a white man, it might not be something he thinks about daily, but he's admitting he's aware of it.

You're right in regards to what Saga deals with in her work environment and most likely her daily life. It sucked for me that Mulligan and Thorton ended up being racist, misogynistic assholes because they truly just seemed like the goofy, slightly dimwitted small-town cops. I think maybe because I haven't actually played the game yet (shame on me, I know! I just managed to get it last month and haven't had the time to dedicate to it like I want) that I kind of brushed Mulligan and Thorton's behavior towards Saga off until we learned their true nature.

But we see how they're more comfortable deferring to Casey over Saga, and we can even see that Casey is NOT the least bit pleased with it. Saga clearly picks up on it, and it's one of the reasons she chooses to leave them with Casey. She can handle the Bookers easier, because yes, they ARE black, she KNOWS they're going to open up to her far easier than if it had been Casey. Do we get reflections of their shared experiences? Not really, but the Bookers weren't going to trust the FBI regardless, Saga being a black woman lowered their defenses a little.

You can argue that she was better suited for talking to the witnesses because it's just her personality, Casey was dry and sarcastic from jump while Saga was the opposite. But did the Bookers know that? Absolutely not. They were less cautious with Saga, Ed especially. They weren't hiding anything to be malicious, they just wanted their own things to be successful.

Hearing Mulligan and Thorton's true thoughts about Saga really tore me up. Not even so much at the fact they felt that way, but because they didn't have the guts to say it to her face. You don't hear that venom directed towards Casey at all, even though he's the EXACT same stuck-up government agent who's worse to them than Saga.

But it's what black people tend to see when dealing with the police force. Condescending, impatient, better-than, bitter, power-hungry and drunk on their self-importance and position of authority. There's a REASON they were made Taken when the Koskela brothers couldn't, but that's really neither here nor there.

Seeing what she had to deal with in Bright Falls from two guys that were SUPPOSED to be on her side and help her is very telling and it made me even more interested in her backstory. How many people actually believed in her when she joined the FBI? Who dismissed her out of pocket simply because of the color of her skin and her gender? You can even get a hint of her past simply by her questioning Casey on why he wants her to be the lead on the case instead of jumping in straight away.

And that's to her PARTNER, a man she’s known and trusted for years, who clearly never had a problem with her being a black woman, or there's no way in hell they'd have the kind of relationship that they do.

Freya being such a strong influence for Saga was evident in her card to her daughter. She knew the struggles Saga was going to face by going after what she wanted to do and never discouraged her. I'll always be bummed over Freya lying to Saga about her being a Seer though. I know it was to try and protect her from even more shit she didn't deserve to go through over something she had no control over. But it almost felt like a vote of no-confidence. And there's no feeling in the world like thinking your mother might not believe in you.

I'm still VERY annoyed at ANYBODY bringing up the "Return" concept from Quantum Break JUST to say Saga was race-swaped when almost NOTHING from that teaser made it to the main game proper. Sam and the team took all of that and flipped it on its head. That was clear the second FBI Alex Casey stepped into the background instead of being in the lead.

I love the fact we don't get the "another white asshole telling me what to do" until the end of the game, and it's when Saga is at her lowest point, when the Dark Presence is trying to do its best to break her down. But like I tend to bring up, Alan says it can't create something out of nothing. Meaning those doubts and resentment were there for a LONG time, and it VERY easily could have been her entire personality.

The fact that it wasn't showed how much thought Remedy put into creating Saga and I appreciate it so much. She wasn't her trauma, she wasn't her anger, she was the exact OPPOSITE of that. She faced her problems with determination and PUNS! Even when shitty things were going on, her mind wandered to humor "More like "Underwatery" I'll have to tell Casey that one later." Speaks volumes about her character.

I think that's one of the reasons she fought SO hard against the horror story. OBVIOUSLY her main motivation was saving Logan, and then Casey. But she wasn't about to let her agency be taken from her like she's been fighting against it for years. She was the one that was going to be in control, she was going to tell this story, and Alan himself (some of that as him being the face of the Dark Presence for her) "no, fuck you. Another white asshole is NOT going to tell me how to live MY life. You're not using my doubts and fears against me to take my family from me"

And she did it, she did what the white man couldn't do on his own in 13 years. How am I NOT supposed to root for her? How could I NOT want to know more about her history? There's no way I can look at Saga Anderson and go, well her story is done, there's nothing else to be written for her. As I said, I do love FBI Casey, but he's practically a blank slate compared to Saga, I could live without him because, for me, outside of his personality (I'm also grumpy and sarcastic), I cannot relate to him.

Despite not being a wife and mother in the FBI, I CAN relate to Saga. I can understand her struggles and pain. I feel her love for her family, I can relate to her love and disappointment towards her mother. The struggle of being a black woman in a world that still caters to white men and the pushback she gets just from existing. I understand her in a way I never could with Alan Wake. I understood and related to his issues as a writer struggling with inspiration. But the thing with that is Alan didn't HAVE to struggle like that, he could have chosen, at any time, to stop being a writer and do something else.

Saga couldn't choose to change the color of her skin. Her challenges would be with her simply because of how she's perceived at first glance. She'll never have the advantages of Alan and Casey in that regard.

I'm sorry for the long answer! But I LOVED your ask, and that's why it took me a hot minute to answer it. I had to get my thoughts in order and give this the response I felt like it deserved. So thank you for letting me see your thoughts towards Saga! ❤️

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bloobluebloo · 1 month

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Hello, saw the character ask, so here we go! For Ganondorf, 2 8 and 21

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

How resilient and defiant he is. He will pull every single iota of his strength and prowess to stay on his feet and remain alive to fight and oppose you, and even when he has finally met his match and can no longer move, you will never see the look of defeat on his face or have him concede his loss to you. He will die as defiant as he lived, and that is just a testament to how deeply committed he is to his philosophy, and how absurd his willpower is. King of resilience and resistance in my heart 🥰🥰🥰

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I really despise the habit I've seen that many seem to consciously or unconsciously adopt, and it is to depict Ganondorf as a sexual predator, as something that is inherently part of his character. Some people will depict it as something he would do as a depiction of how evil and cruel he is, that the second he has the opportunity he will do so. Others will depict it as his right to desecrate his enemies, that of course he would defile them in this way for all the wrongs they did to him. I am no stranger myself to writing Ganondorf as using sexual relationships in a manipulative and sometimes coercive manner to further his goals, but there is just something different when people insist that this is a core personality trait he just has, that this is part of his profile as someone who is antagonistic, violent, manipulative, deceptive etc. It is almost like people cannot imagine someone who is villainous or antagonistic that *doesn't* rape people as well. It is more egregious in Ganondorf's case for me because of all the Orientalist stereotypes that he already represents, and how the Gerudo as a whole are already seen as a culture of rapists and sexual opportunists because of how they're depicted. In my humble opinion, if you need to depict him as a sexual predator to emphasize his evil or his greivances, it is a massive ✨skill issue✨.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I love writing him as a passive-aggressive troll, doing things that are harmless in hindsight but that he knows will get under the skin of a person he fundamentally dislikes. Making offhand comments that leave his opponents fumbling for words, doing things that seem inexplicable and useless and then offering an equally baseless explanation, and just being a nuissance. He does what I like to call "regal pranking". He'll talk in circles with flowery words and say nothing at all just for the sake of wasting someone else's time. I think this is what he does as a king to amuse himself and I love to dabble in it. What I don't like? I often have a hard time finding a balance I am happy with, in my writing, between his canon depiction and when I am trying to insert personable traits in his character. I don't want to alienate a reader by writing a character that isn't Ganondorf at the end, but that becomes difficult when he is also my comfort character. Me writing him is like "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT HNNNNNNN YOU REALLY ARE AN ASS I HOPE SOMEONE SLAPS SOME SENSE INTO YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH-" It's an intense love-hate relationship when writing him, really.

Questions are here!

#thanks for the ask!#ganonthots

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yallemagne · 1 month

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This year, I'm not doing Dr*cula D*ily

Or any other substack but DD is the biggest. I have numerous reasons for this decision that none of y'all are gonna particularly care for, but ya know, just so we got our expectations in order: I'm not gonna participate in DD this year (maybe never again), I'm probably not gonna reblog many posts related to it (doing so would be counterintuitive), but I am holding myself to finishing Orice (at LEAST the base fic).

Now, why?

TL;DR: Mental health crisis brought on by internet harassment and overprioritizing social media. It's not fun anymore, folks.

DD just... it completely ruined the novel for me.

It was a nice phenomenon, but it took a wrecking ball to my mental health and self-worth. Now, I'm not saying DD's creator personally did something to spite me (or maybe I am, he knows what he did /j), but this whole thing? It wasn't good for me. It was never good. It was sometimes fun, but most of the time it made me want to end it because of thumblr notes.

That's fucking stupid. My life is not worth internet validation. My art is not worthless just because my numbers are not as big as the biggest big shots in the fandom. I'm not a horrible person when other people handle personal disagreements regarding headcanon with defaming rumours and impersonation. But hell! My view of reality was horribly skewed.

A while back, I unfollowed all the gothlit tags I previously followed because 1) Some people (active and popular members of the fandom, mind you, not bots or trolls) were posting honest-to-god name-dropping harassment in the tag because "it's a popular tag so more people will see my callout post" and 2) I reached a point where seeing anything related to the novel on my dash just set me off. It didn't even need to be drama-related anymore. Mentions of the characters, mentions of popular AUs, just the very content of this book became triggering to me, and I really didn't miss the content when it was gone, as sad as that is.

And the kicker? I've come to realize that I probably dislike more things about the novel than I actually like about it. Not only is it tied to some of my darkest moments in recent memory, but it's also just... a book with many flaws that I could go on and on and on about. Sometimes, it straight-up made me furious, like seething mad, and I think I'd rather just be happy. But even when I would try to channel that energy into being happy, I always felt I had to over-clarify or else I’d get bombarded with anonymous messages. If you’ve seen any of my posts from during that time… chances are there is a passive aggressive “btw people can have opposing opinions from you about an old book and it doesn’t give you leave to stone them” or several tags of “#this is a joke #a jooooooke #for the love of god #if y’all don’t stop”. I bet it was as annoying for y’all as it was for me.

P.S. Mutuals/friends, do not worry. Y'all keep doing y'all. I can and will block tags if seeing your posts triggers me. So, I suppose my only request is to properly tag, but I've been saying that from the very start.

I just want to move on to other things.

I took a break for Lent. I needed it terribly. And... not gonna lie? I almost didn't want to return. I never got an itching to just log on and "check in". I very successfully avoided tumb altogether. I came back because "I gotta come back eventually" and also like, this is my main hub where I update when I've written a fic, and ya know... I'm not gonna let toxic fandom bs rule my shit.

During my break, I got back into gaming. More specifically, I started playing Hades again. And listening to Epic the Musical. Aaaand boyyy did that bring me back to my Greek mythology phase. I have a Greek mythos/Hades sideblog btw: @areopagusimp. It's cringe, if you can't tell by the blog name.

Back when I was into Hades game and general Greek mythos, my expectations were so much smaller, but yet, my goals and will to create seemed so much bigger. I made art that no one gave a single solitary shit about (except for my friend), but I was happy. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted glasses, but... even if I wasn't as happy then as I remember being... haha at least I wasn't receiving threats and insults in my inbox back then :))). That was the most fun thing about the gothlit fandom. I hope every single chickenhearted angry anon is proud of their behaviour.

But yeah, whatever I end up doing, I’m striving to not let it run me into the ground.

But... What do I do now?

I have so many WIPs (art and writing) for the novel, and it's very disappointing that I didn't get to finish them before it all turned sour. Hopefully, I can still finish them, it just won't be with the same distress I worked with before. Hopefully, I can post that stuff and fully manage my expectations, not crash and burn when only a few people like it. Because hell! A few people liking my stuff? That's amazing, really. I shouldn't take that for granted. At the same time, I'm setting a boundary for myself. Placing my self-worth into the hands of people who I don't know, who don't know me, and who aren't even paying for the art? I need to stop that. Who the hell is that gonna serve? Absolutely no one.

My number one goal is to finish Orice. It is somehow untouched by my aversion to the novel; it is my safe space. I want to honour it and honour the longtime readers who have stuck with me. It's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be worth it for me.

This feels attention-seeking, and it kinda is. I'm not tagging the main subject and I'm not allowing reblogs because I want this to stay isolated (and hopefully prevent backlash/misunderstandings), but ya know, no matter how much I try to keep this small, I'm still posting it online. But I just feel like I needed to get this off my chest. I don't really owe everyone an explanation, but I want there to be one for my own sake... also it's much easier to generalize and make a post than contact each of my friends/mutuals on here and unload stuff onto them that I'm not sure is too personal or not.

For those of you who are reading: I love y'all. I love the good people I've met through all this mess. I want to keep the good apples, not throw out the whole harvest, alright? Dunno how much you'll care for my art when the subject is different, but... eh. If y'all are willing to try?

#i'm writing this in march #dunno when it will be posted #update

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unhappytimeleaper · 2 years

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how would crazy:b react to reader hanging out with a male friend? separate headcanons pls.

Requested by anonymous

Word count: 6,800+

So I’m the first to admit, I don’t really like crazy:b compared to other groups. I don’t hate them, but out of every group they are the one I pay the least attention to. Part of that means,, I don’t know the members very well— at least contrasted to other characters. Specifically for Rinne and HiMERU; Rinne is one of my least favorite characters and while I like HiMERU, he’s a hard character to write for due to hidden complexities he holds. Every time I thought I had a grasp on what to write I started second guessing myself, and you can tell Rinne’s is written differently to the others since I wasn’t sure what I was going for yet. Oh well. I tried looking through some old stories but it was a pain trying to dig some of them up, so I’m going off of what I remember. I hope this turns out okay. In the mean time I’m hoping to familiarize myself with some of the characters in crazy:b more.

Also, I started a new job which is why this [and many other requests] might be slower. Well, correctly, I did start a new job and after one day quit because it was such a mess. I’m looking somewhere else for another job but until I get used to the routine writing might be a little slow.

Crazy:B members; unedited. Gender Neutral reader.

Warnings; jealousy, stalking, threats, manipulation, guilt tripping, violence, implied murder, death. It’s the whole nine yards, go in with general warning.

This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.

Amagi Rinne

One of the biggest things is how much of a pain Rinne can be. As direct as he is, life is a game, and so is winning you. He’s exceptionally possessive; it’s clear to everyone but knows with romance, that’s not how you win. Just as that, he wants you to come to him; only this often backfires if you have no romantic interest in him, although he believes it is just luck and sometime his plan will work out. Much like gambling, if he throws his affection at you enough times, the message will get across at some point, and you’ll submit to his love.

However, that’s not it. Rinne knows you can’t put all your eggs in one basket when gambling. One of the ways he does this is by acting as if he is pursuing others— while he never does it, Rinne knows how jealous he can get. He thinks if he says he does it enough, you’ll get annoyed or jealous that you’ll come running to him and confess.

Rinne can barely manage the effort you put in with other units and forget about interacting with other staff if he catches your sight. What is just a general friendship for you, Rinne sees as you getting back for his lies. Yeah, a taste of his own medicine, he guesses. Luck seemed to backfire this time, but that doesn’t mean you can just get away with it either.

For a while, Rinne becomes more overbearing and pestering, which is a feat you likely don’t want to unlock. Chaos follows you and what once was at minimum aggressive flirting [aka marriage proposals and arm wrapped around your body] becomes those you need to be communicating with avoiding you due to the clinginess Rinne exudes. Every person outside of the other units you meet he threatens as being your new ‘friend.’ Half of it is anger that he let you out of his sight for a few minutes, and now you’re basically dating someone else, which mainly comes off as passive-aggressive teasing. Thankfully Rinne doesn’t really seem to understand the concept of being quiet; even more around you, if you can manage to sneak away from his overbearing presence, you have a personal alarm letting you know when he gets close.

Durning what you considered to be the peak of his clinginess, you found it’d probably be best to try to minimize a friendship through texts or if you really wanna risk it, a call. Rinne’s possessiveness when simply talking to others at work is nearly palpable. Things would become very bad for both of you when Rinne meets the actual person you called ‘a friend’. One of the benefits you’ve had so far is him thinking you’re just playing the same game he is. A delusional mindset that you caught onto his attempts to make you jealous, and this was you playing his own game. Eventually, you’d crack and come clean, then he’d be able to properly punish you for tossing your relationship to the side to bring out his emotions. How cruel could you be to have him keep losing his luck? He knew the gamble of romance was hard, marriage being the ultimate win, but his luck shouldn’t be running this low.

If you do it in person, either try to explain why you can’t hang out anymore, or they worry and contact you again, so you meet again; things are gonna get messy. See, the nice thing about idols is they often have their own stuff. As poorly as he treats part of his idol life, Rinne does have to attend to it and can’t always drag you along. Plus, Rinne, no matter what, loves to live his life on his whims, and that will always lead him back to one of his favorite activities. Gambling. Typically you have a few hours in which it’s best to use this to grind out your work with other units, but they’ll survive. You’d meet your friend at your favorite cafe, try to quickly explain around the issue. That work was wild right now, and groups were pulling you left and right. There were a few co-workers you had demanding your full attention, and you didn’t want to just leave your friend hanging if you couldn’t answer messages or meet up anymore. The less you explained about Rinne’s clinginess, the better. Think of it as a protective measure since Rinne tended to be a wild card.

Don’t be silly tho, of course, Rinne would know your favorite spots! Seeking you out after having spent a few hours gambling, he likely would be wandering the street, peeking into all of your favorite shops/cafes for you. Upon approaching the cafe you and your friend had been chatting at, you’d probably be alerted to Rinne’s presence from the start. Loud is nearly his only mode; the second he steps into the cafe, you can hear his boisterous laugh– tho it’s quickly cut short seeing the man sitting across from you. This wasn’t a joke? You really were seeing someone, guess that’s why his toss of luck in romance was so poor. At least this was an easy solution; Rinne was an intimidating person and quite strong. An easy target to remove, once he’s out of the picture, things should appear in his favor.

Stomping up to the table, Rinne grabs your arm, pulling you up from the table and into his arms. Leaning over, he plants a kiss on your cheek– glaring at your friend and, frustratingly for you, gathering the attention of the rest of the cafe. Even asking for him to step back likely does nothing; rolling your eyes, you can try everything to explain to Rinne. You’re just meeting your friend on your break, but it’s hard to convince him of anything else once his mind is set. In the hope of not messing with Crazy:B’s reputation and calming down the fire head, your best luck is to drag him from the shop, profusely apologizing to your friend.

Due to his upbringing, it’s easy for Rinne to overpower you and drag you into the alley. It only takes a second for him to move you into a headlock, demanding you tell him everything. How long where you gonna keep sneaking around, dating someone behind his back? Did you really think toying with him was fun? Did it make you feel special getting attention from someone else? If you really wanted to date someone, why not him? Bigger than his anger, his sadness was tangible in his voice. For as bright as Rinne is, it’s strange to him to lose the wild joy of often held. It’s a quick reminder that you truly seem to not know much about Rinne beyond what he wants people to perceive. Although it’s hard to speak with the grip he has around your body, you’re able to squeak out that he was just a friend. Swearing that you weren’t dating– you never even considered it. Not like you had time, and you did care for your friend but couldn’t consider him a partner. Rinne heard what he wanted regardless; you cared for this other guy. Even now, if you didn’t like this other man, the more variables added a bigger chance for his loss with romance. Letting go of your neck, Rinne would grasp your arm and pull you to the ES building. Similar to before, it’s easier to go in silence– hopefully giving time to Rinne to calm down and for you to think. Frustratingly, you will have to figure out how to sort out Rinne’s outburst as part of your job, the gambling habits were terrible enough to tack this on as a ‘scandal.’

Once back at the build, Rinne would shove you into a meeting room, the walk doing nothing to calm down his running emotions. One final chance to calm him down, to have your friendship spared until you could sort this out with Rinne later. This wasn’t the time to ride the high horse or even try to be logical; you knew Rinne could take down your friend in an instant and wouldn’t hesitate to do so. You knew the second he was done dealing with your friend, you’d be on the side of his punishment. Wrapping your arm around him and mustering words into your dry mouth, you begin to plead to him. You’re sorry, really, you didn’t mean it. Just please… leave him out of it. He didn’t do anything wrong; you were the one playing him. Yes… you were just trying to make him jealous. After all he spends so much of his life on a whim– if you made Rinne jealous, then he’d stop running around gambling and spend more time with you. [Which isn’t a whole lie, as much of a pain as Rinne could be, you hoped with his infatuation you could use it to curve his gambling and focus into his idol work as more Crazy:B work meant more time you had to invest in their group.] It didn’t matter. No matter how much you grovel and throw away any pride for the sake of saving your friend, it wouldn’t change. Rinne ruffed your hair but pushed you off him. He told you not to move from the office, slamming the door behind him.

You never really learned what Rinne did to your friend. To be honest, you didn’t know if he even survived or if Rinne beat him to death. You didn’t know much about Rinne’s history, nor Hiiro’s, but you were well aware of how tough they were. You knew Rinne knew how to fight, and no matter tough your friend was, Rinne wanted to win and there was no stopping him once he started. Your heart ached; no matter what, it was easier to convince yourself that Rinne just scared them off with his personality than having done something permanent. Not like you could bring it up to him; Rinne wouldn’t stand you mentioning anything related to him. He considered it too big of a dip in his luck, a jinx if you mentioned it. Plus, the past is past for a reason– you must focus on the future to survive with him. Specifically the future you’ll have with him. It was also a great message to remind you that friendships like that won’t be treated as easily as you got off last time.

HiMERU

There is one benefit HiMERU has over all his other unit mates, and it’s his mystery. Even with his more brutish and harsh speaking manner at times, HiMERU can be a great confidant for you. Especially with work, given how he presents himself as a veteran of the industry. Due to this, you really have become closer to the strange blue-haired idol. It does benefit both of you in a way, although HiMERU does seem to get the better end of the benefit. Mainly given, regardless of how close you’ve become, HiMERU remained an enigma at best. Really, you don’t know him at all as a person but rather a persona he shows off. It doesn’t matter what you gain from the conversation with him since merely speaking with you gives nearly all the answers he needs to gain information about you. And if it doesn’t, his personality and deduction skills allow him to easily manipulate others for information.

Even though some form of closeness has been created with HiMERU, you still try to try to keep some level of professionalism. Much like how HiMERU tries to keep his persona in front of you, you do your best to match the same energy. Of course, you have a bit more leniency, but for the most part, you don’t try to bring up your friends outside of the company to idols. It was similar with your friend, you had known him for a while now, but you tried to not talk about your work with idols. Mainly just so that you didn’t disclose anything personal or behind-the-scenes work going on. People knew what you were up to, yet not directly the idol groups you often associated with.

Really, HiMERU couldn’t be more content so far with his relationship with you. He likely couldn’t really consider something like a traditional relationship. Not when he is HiMERU. As much as it’s a battle between himself, his true self, he’s not going to ruin the life he had built just for a romance. Contentment is what he’s seeking. Content with knowing what you’re doing, with how much time he can squeeze in while you’re stuck at the company, and the details of your life he can pick up from conversations. You’d be surprised at how many little things he’s learned when you help out his unit and even more the things around the office. He didn’t love all of it; specifically, the attention Rinne would get from you at work, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Although you swore, HiMERU’s snarkiness came out far more than before when you had to do group work with Crazy:B.

Speaking to another staff member, HiMERU could see your joy on a particular topic. Not quite close enough to catch, but enjoy for the jealous go plant itself in his mind and heart. Was it this staff member you suddenly had an interest in? Or something else. He clicked his tongue and waited for you to run off after another project. With the opportunity, HiMERU could stride up to the other coworker and ask what was going on. It wasn’t fully clear, but from what he gathered, you had plans for the evening. Clearly not alone either by how your coworker phrased it. It was annoying, how you did talk to him reminded him you had a life outside of ES. Outside of idols… outside him. HiMERU played the idea of perfection anyway. What more could you want.

But it was true, your friend was meeting you after work. You hadn’t seen him in a while, both of your careers pulling in opposite directions. It wasn’t anything significant, just going out for the evening and wandering around, yet you couldn’t help but be excited enough to share it with someone. For the rest of the day, your excitement was nearly caught on by everyone in the building. For simplicity, your friend was just going to swing by the building where you would meet up with him.

HiMERU did his best to not let it bother him. He tried focusing on his work and off-handed tasks Crazy:B needed to get done while Rinne was off doing whatever he did. But every time he sat down, his mind couldn’t focus. What frustrated him the most was the worry of where his HiMERU started and where he started— one of his biggest fears of having others find out about his real-life identity beginning to collide with you being taken away. HiMERU wasn’t the type to get this way, but he was. Gladly his fears were kept internal, and his calmness could be maintained externally. Rumored had it that you were meeting this stranger in front of the building, a good starting point.

HiMERU managed to hang out in the lobby; for a building filled with idols, it was plenty of great hiding spots. Concerning, but useful. He found the perfect place to watch as some guy entered the building, and quickly you ran up to him. It was a tug on his heart; you running off with another man. Something he wouldn’t be able to experience, at least for years unless he wanted to disappear long enough for people to forget about HiMERU. At some point he knew you were bound to move on without him. Although he now had a face, one piece of the puzzle needed to stop this.

The rest of the night, HiMERU managed to get online and use what little he could find on you. Idols mainly weren’t permitted to have personal social media, but you were as long as you were able to keep the stuff with your career offline. It was luckily a small account, although easy to find despite HiMERU’s struggle with social networks. The stabbing in his chest started again, this time noticing all the fun you had without them— without him. How many times did this reminder need to keep coming back to haunt him today. It took a few tries, but soon enough, he was able to find that strange man you ran off with through mutal photos and tags.

There wasn’t much; he only bothered learning the basics. He was close to your age, met not long ago over a similar hobby, and had a job that kept him quite busy. The rest didn’t matter. He didn’t matter. You had everything you needed here at ES, right? The people here, him; weren’t they better? More interesting? HiMERU didn’t understand; he didn’t understand.

Honestly, it was a wonderful night for you. You couldn’t remember the last time you could take your mind off work (took your friend a few reminders) and simply relax with people outside of ES. As much as you loved the idols, it sometimes was nice to be around… normal people. Plus, you woudln’t give up the job for anything else, but it could be suffocating at times. You went home and could only think about the next time you could meet up. Crossing your fingers, you could only hope it was quicker than the last break.

Days passed, then weeks. At first, you hoped that things had just gotten busy for him, you have also become a lot busier in the last few weeks too. Yet you couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed that he didn’t reach out. At all. Everything seemed to go radio silent. Nothing had been off that night you hung out; even when you said goodnight, everything had been on good terms. It was pretty easy for the idols to pick up on how upset you were, even with trying to keep positive morale around work. It was nice to have the sympathies from the majority of the idols you worked with, but nothing could shake the aching you felt. You felt some comfort when HiMERU approached you. A calming presence surrounded you, something you felt whenever he was around. As his hand placed calmly on your shoulder, he sat beside you, extending a certain level of peace to your frantic mind.

You groaned, as much as you tried to keep things separate from work and personal life, you carefully leaned into HiMERU’s touch. You complained about this friend you were close with suddenly dropping contact. How even the few messages you sent were being completely ignored across every platform. He never seemed like the type to just downright drop you, sure, there had been periods where you didn’t talk, but generally it was only a week at most and always followed with an explanation. It just hurt to feel so disposable. You apologized for rambling— HiMERU said it was fine, just a cruel comment directed to your friend that you’ve only heard HiMERU refer to Rinne. But HiMERU did his best to use the calming persona he held to soothe your emotions. Couldn’t this be for your benefit as well? Things have gotten so busy here, and there are so many groups that need your help, especially Crazy:B. Not that you were only a tool for work, HiMERU didn’t want to imply that. It’s just you have so many great friends here… and there are always other people you can meet. Shoudn’t you focus on that instead?

It wasn’t like there was anyone to come help find out that HiMERU decided to interfere. That the next day HiMERU went to your friend’s workplace for a quick chat. No, he didn’t go so far as to threaten your friend; HiMERU did have an image to uphold. It was easy though, to convince your friend that clearly there was a reason you two rarely saw each other, right? Maybe you just weren’t as interested in a friendship with him anymore; being surrounded by unique idols every day makes it hard to connect with such average people. He was just weighing you down. Maybe it was best if he gave you some space, at least until after the next set of events were finished. HiMERU was glad, problem-solving could sometimes be so easy with his deduction skills to manipulate others, he was just pleased that with a few words, a simple rift would form. It was so remove the threats to his perfect image of how it should be.

Shiina Niki

Dealing with Niki had always been the easiest part of working with crazy:b. Still is. As long as you provided snacks, he’d sit still and get the work done that you needed. Although you knew that this wasn’t a career path he wanted, Niki did seem a lot more cooperative when you were involved. Part of you assumed it’s because you actively indulged in your own funds for Niki’s snacks, he seemed like the type you could easily by your way into his heart with enough food. You did care for Niki as a friend, but the snack funds mainly the fact that you need all the focus you could get from three-fourths of Crazy:B if you wanted to get anything completed.

Even if Niki didn’t fully understand the emotions lurking inside his heart, you did. He was an intense person, constantly seeking you out for new food or snacks to try. The constant dazing out in conversations, even halfway through eating— clearly something not related back to his food issues. You sure it wasn’t your imagination either, yet you could swear that he took every chance he could to become closer. Not that Niki minded; he was nervous to admit the new feelings that started to appear, but it was fairly apparent that the chef had a more than a small crush on you. Thankfully as silly as it was, it was something he didn’t quite get, which made it easier for you to pretend you didn’t know. Niki wasn’t necessarily an idiot with love, but it was even with his previous shuffle unit it was not something he was familiar enough with to act on it. Idol and staff weren’t supposed to mingle in that way to start, but you didn’t want to overcomplicate the work you had to with Crazy:B anymore than it already existed as.

Luckily, as much as you appreciated Niki’s company [and food he made], it was a stroke of luck that you rarely had to interact with him at work. You often ended up seeing him more when you would go to Café Cinnamon, but since he was on the clock, he rarely had time to stop by and chat. Until his… little crush… passed you assume this method was for the best. As if it could last forever, Niki, as sweet as he was, tended to have a one-track mind with food from experience, and eventually with enough space, you could redirect him to that. Or at least reign him into his idol career. Not the best thing you could do but some things have to be done.

Through all the stress and exhaustion, you were most thankful for one of the friend you had made in school, who had followed you as you transitioned into your career. It was something you were highly grateful for as the majority of your friendship had fizzled as you entered the workforce. Despite not having the same amount of time to meet, you did your best to meet for lunch as often as you could— a tradition started in school that you tried to keep up with every few weeks. The plan was to meet up at Café Cinnamon; not your first pick, but your friend pleaded and pleaded to try their food.

Somehow, the idea of taking your friend to where Niki worked made your stomachs do flips. It’s not like you had anything to hide or worry about; you weren’t dating him nor your friend. You weren’t leading either on too, so it shouldn’t be an isse. You had every right to go to Café Cinnamon as everyone else! Besides, Niki might not even be working, and even if he was a chef rarely came to the front of the house for long periods of time. Not like he was allowed to stop and overly socialize with you then.

Niki was busy, sitting at the table for an upcoming meeting for Crazy:B. Not only was Rinne running late as usual; you weren’t here, giving little reason for him to give a damn about whatever the needed to complete. All he could think of was his next meal and, if anyone knew where you were— two birds with one stone if he could grab you for a lunch ‘date.’ He had been thinking of a new recipe all day just for you. It wasn’t until a sharp tug of his hair pulled him from his thought. Whining, Niki glared up at the redhead for ruining his daydreams. Of course! Rinne should have picked up on it sooner; his dear friend had a crush on that staff person who always brought snacks.

Crush? A crush? No, no, that seemed complicated and… Niki wouldn’t know how to even go about handling it. Rinne let out his piercing laugh, pulling his dear friend into a tight hug, digging his hand into his locks. Ahh,, stressing the simple stuff. Niki could feel his cheeks burning up as Rinne went on, but as much as he hated taking advice from someone like him, there was some logic to what he was saying. As the meeting finally was able to start, Niki was able to one problem solved, but as his stomach grumbled, he just couldn’t wait for his shift at Café Cinnamon to begin so he could snack on some food. Meetings really sucked when you weren’t around. And once his shift was over, he could make something special to share his feelings with you! It was a perfect plan, though Niki would die if anyone outside of Crazy:B found out he was getting romance advice from Rinne. Having to rely on him so much was always something he hated showcasing.

Cooking today, Niki was more excited than usual. He was always his brightest when he was in the kitchen, but even today, the other co-workers noticed something was different. When asked about it, all Niki could say was he had an extra special dish to make. It wasn’t until he heard your voice very faintly from the seating area. Niki could feel his heart beat even more erratically; he wasn’t sure if he could do this yet. He peeked his head, catching your frame as you followed someone to a table… wait. Someone else? Was he already too late? Was all that kindness you extended just to mess with him? Lead him on? Rinne did say there was likely some competition he’d have to face [just like with gambling]. He wished Rinne would use a different metaphor… if he equated it to food maybe, he’d understand it all a little better. He could feel his heart pull and twist seeing you here with another man. Seeing you smile and laugh at someone else. It was almost like a trance. For the first time, he didn’t feel the aching hunger he usually did— rather, just an emptiness. All his daydreams for the morning had been of going out to eat with you… you bringing him snacks at practice… him cooking you special meals [ones he’d never share for anyone else]. Everything was collapsing.

Like a ghost, he moved through the kitchen. If the other staff thought he was acting strangely before, the sudden switch in moods was far more concerning. If being honest, Niki wasn’t even necessarily sure what happened. It was like when he didn’t have enough to eat, and things became hazy, only this time he was sure he was full from snacking on scraps from his earlier dishes. Before he knew it, the dishes for you and… that person… were wished and ready to be taken out. Niki grabbed the two plates and moved to the front of the house, gliding across the room to your seats.

You tried to play off seeing Niki as normal as you could, but even with a slight glance, it was easy to tell something was throwing him off his game. You tried to be friendly, something that instantly made him light up. You still paid attention to him. He was still in this game! Trying to play things off, you did your best to introduce Niki to your friend. How he was so excited to try Niki’s cooking. So you weren’t dating now, just friends. But how long before friends turned into going out to his favorite place to eat and you coming in every day with this man rubbing it in that you were with someone else eating the food he was pouring all your love into cooking! You did your best to ignore his sour glance, but it seemed to come as quickly as it went. Once more, you thanked him for the dish and apologized for taking up so much of his time while at work. You could see him linger for a second, quickly adding that you’d see him around soon— right? You agreed, of course you’d seem him around at work. That seemed to work as the grey-haired man slinked back into the kitchen. It was such a strange sight to see the once cheerful man so deep in his emotions, but you worried anything you got involved in would only make things worse given the circumstances.

The rest of the lunch seemed quite uneventful. Niki didn’t make another reappearance, but you thought it was for the best. Hopefully, today’s issues could pass, and tomorrow, the fun, bright, albeit hungry Niki would be back. You’d give it a few days anyway before you sent Rinne to talk to him. Although that plan may need some revisions, you still had time to think about it. But it never seemed to follow through, it appeared quickly you were pulled in plenty of directions. Work suddenly picked up, Niki, when not at the cafe, seemed to be following you around even more with random food-quest, and worst, you’re friend seemed to have gotten quite sick. You knew it had something to do with the lunch Niki served the other day. Not on purpose– never on purpose. Food was Niki’s life, literally, and no matter how he felt, he never would have done something to ruin a dish.

Another day, another invite. Niki came running up to you with a lunch he had made. You knew at some point you couldn’t keep running away from him. Beside, what was the chance him having another… episode… like that one day and giving you some sort of food posioning. Accepting, you were surprised as Niki took you out of the building to a secluded area of the rooftop garden. It felt as if it came out of no where, but somehow the plethora of food he had made lined the area you were taking up. All of this felt strange. That you shouldn’t have accepted. Niki was sitting closer than usual anyway, leaning in and offering you to try bites of the dishes he had made. Made just for you! As you nibbled on what he provided, Niki quickly devoured the food. A positive sign that he was going to accidentally poison you– though Niki seemed to have an iron stomach, so maybe it wasn’t a good sign. You had to ask; for confirmation for of your worries. Did Niki have something to do with your friend’s sickness?

He was so sad, nearly in tears. He promised it was an accident. Niki didn’t even know what happened! Like something possessed him. He promised, swore, practically throwing himself on your lap. Niki was back to that strange attitude from a few days ago, and all you could do was comfort him. You promised to not tell anyone, he didn’t need his cooking career damaged by one faulty mistake; Niki just needed to be more careful. A lot more careful. Niki knew it was only a temporary solution. Your friend couldn’t stay sick forever, but by then, he could make his move and a more permanent reminder that you were his. Soon enough, all his daydreams were coming true. This was just the start of his perfect life…

Oukawa Kohaku

Working in two groups had a lot of struggles. Double the work, double the hours, double the meetings, double the practices. Though there was one positive Kohaku could place. Double the time with you. After all, work did drag the two of you apart far more often than he would appreciate, but unlike others he had more reason to seek you out for help.

It was sorta cute, at least in the sense of how friends tend to complement each other. Or a sibling. You knew Kohaku didn’t need a lot of saving or protection, despite his lack of knowledge of the real world, but some part of you did worry about him more than you let on. Sure, Kohaku was mature. Likely one of the most mature idols you worked with, yet that maturity seemed to the only extent so far from the everyday world. Every time the old-fashioned pinknette did his best to locate you [something you swore he a knack for], you caved and did your best to help him with whatever task presented itself. Was it the best for you to play favorites… probably not, but it didn’t get in the way of your actual work, so you assumed it was fine.

Besides, just as much as you felt you needed to help Kohaku, you also felt the need to watch him. Not in a creepy way, but rather, the mysterious background you came from made it feel like you had to pay extra attention. He wasn’t the only one— Hiiro, Rinne, Mayoi… all of them you felt the need to make sure their complex pasts kept them out of trouble in the modern world.

Kohaku wasn’t necessarily dumb; he knew his upbringing affected his social skills. He knew he didn’t understand things the same way as others, but all of this had to mean something? The way you treated him was different than others. He cares about you too, in a way that is different from others. Kohaku knew it was wrong. The life of an idol and staff shouldn’t overlap romantically. Even if he was freer now from his childhood, he was expected to follow the rules. To obey. Though he didn’t want to stop. If anything, it could be like one of those classical plays of forbidden love. The ideas made his heart race.

Kohaku knew precisely how this would play out. Traditional stories and his family all had generational romances, sure, it would need to be adapted a little to the modern era, but most things could be kept the same. His first task as he was taught was learning about the target. It wasn’t hard for him to sneak into your company files, and social media was a great tactic to learn more about your casual life that the documents wouldn’t provide. When he could squeeze it in between jobs, he did his best to follow you around and gather in-person information, small things he could surprise you with. Gift-giving always won the hearts of many of the beloved in his stories, perhaps it would work on you too. It wasn’t until following you around one day the worst could have happened. You were out, sitting on a bench on the phone. Due to work, you often had to pick up calls from other companies or employees, but this one was different; Kohaku could tell based on your reactions. He knew you weren’t dating anyone, that was a benefit, but his heart burned with anger at the idea of competition. Two pursuers weren’t uncommon in stories, but it posed a threat he couldn’t bear to try to beat out in his current state.

Lingering, he was glad to be able to pick up on some more information. By how you spoke, you knew this person for a long time, you two rarely saw each other despite it only being a half-hour commute between each other, and you spoke to them so fondly. This went beyond the usual kindness seen at ES or those you worked with. You were often happy at work, or at least put on a facade you were but never like this. It stung; you were supposed to talk to him like this. Not like how you spoke to Mama… to Niki and HiMERU… to him…

Both of you returned to ES not long after your call had ended. As Kohaku approached you, it took everything he could manage to bite his tongue. Who were you on the phone with? You knew Kohaku had a snippy side, but it was rarely directed at you. How did he know you were on the phone as well? That was a good two blocks from the ES building, something you tried to do on purpose. It was easy to play it off, there was something that needed to be picked up from a shop a few blocks away for something Crazy:B was working on and Kohaku was the only one free. He had gotten lost on his way and instead just decided to come back to the building, having someone else pick up the order later. He saw you on the phone and was just wondering— there wasn’t any harm in his curiosity, right? It wasn’t the first time you indulged Kohaku in your personal life, you tried to not make it a habit, but every once in and a while couldn’t have lasting damages. Besides, Kokahu was mature; he knew not to blab about it to everyone. You explained one of your long-time best friend was going to be coming down to the area near here. He didn’t live far but working late into the night had caused some problems with . It was great to think of things to do, places to take him. Sure, things had to be kept a little strict, given you still had work but that didn’t mean you couldn’t make the most of your time with him.

Kohaku blanked out the second you said his name and that he was coming down for a week. A week of you distracted from work, even if you were here. Thirty minutes wasn’t long. It would be easy. Man, Kokahu was so thankful for the internet.

The following days seemed to go smoothly both for you and Kohaku. Well, it was until you got a call at work about your friend. His mother was calling, and for a second, you froze up. Everything went blank in your mind… all you could remember was sobbing on the floor with a few idols rushing to your side. Honestly, you couldn’t recall who was there; even now, all your thought were filled in a hazy fog. His mom had called to inform you of his passing, but they weren’t sure how or why. He was a standup guy, well-liked both in and out of school. Apparently, walking home from work, he was attacked, dragged into an alley late at night. Someone had found his body the following day which was swiftly identified. The company had offered a little bit of time taken off to gather yourself, but work was just too busy… no… this was for the best. Something to take your mind off it. And it was nice to be surrounded by friends, well, coworkers, but you were close to many of them and you could feel all of them doing their best to cheer you up.

You weren’t hungry. Really your appetite had been struggling the last few days, but you knew you had to keep taking care of yourself. You found an empty office room and prodded at your food. It even came as a shock when something touched your arm, pulling you from your daze. Kohaku had rested his hand gently over your poking at the dish. He didn’t feel bad. Even seeing your tear-stained face, he was just glad that that pest wasn’t coming. And this was his moment. What better than to be the hero that jumps in and saves the love interest. Heart pounding against his ribs, he knew things would all work themselves out with time and that he could remove anyone [within reason] who could come between them. Cupping your cheek in his hand, he leaned with a chaste kiss against the corner of your lips.

#enstars.leaps #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere enstars #yandere ensemble stars #yandere crazy:b #yandere writing #yandere character #yandere rinne #yandere himeru #yandere niki #yandere kohaku #tw: yandere #tw: stalking #tw: manipulation #tw: violence #tw: death

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lifesver · 5 months

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𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

NAME : kels

PRONOUNS : she/they/he

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : ims on here are fine, im kind of bad at discord until i know people better, but i prefer to talk to my pals on discord obvi

NAME OF MUSE(S) : leland mckinney, tommy jarvis, jake park are most recent. but we were also out here for a long while w richie tozier and five hargreeves.

EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG ( MONTHS / YEARS? ) : oh god uh........... it really goes back to something like 2013? like i started in oc rp groups on and off mostly, i think i didn't get into actual tumblr rpc until maybe 2018? and w leland well we have been out here since last may agjsdk

BEST EXPERIENCE : honestly like... as much as i sometimes still get embarrassed trying to explain [scare chord] Tumblr Roleplay to people outside of this particular circle, it's been such a large part of my enjoyment online for years and years. i've met some really close friends here, i've done some of my best writing here. and a lot of it is just the ability to bounce off my friends and their huge brain ideas. collaborative writing, to me, is just so much more fun than doing it alone. i really like taking one character and getting just way too deep into who they are, i like learning and picking things up from the variety of other writers on here. improving my writing from reading what my super talented friends do... and in particular this last year has been probably??? one of my most positive rpc experiences in a long while. having people jump into the tcsm rpc, making new friends, and putting together just completely off the shits wild aus and whatever. idk! my creative brain loves to go stupid mode in the paint. and besties we have written some good fucking horror narrative on this stupid website.

and also i'm cringe and i'm free (:

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : i'm kind of just chilling like i really am very much non-confrontational in this space because it's... for fun. it's just imaginary internet collaborative writing hobby. mainly i just don't need passive aggression of any kind. i believe that you kind of get back what you put in on this kind of space, so make it comfortable for yourself, be kind to others, and understanding as often as you can be. if people aren't hurting anyone, let them vibe in their own space. not everyone has endless time anymore for rp, so don't make it weird or take it personally when people take time to get back to you about plots, or if they never get time. soft and hardblock as you need to to make your space chill for You it's just never that deep

MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : we like a bit of everything in this house (except anything remotely usfw goes to usfw shadow realm blog). like be serious i am always in the horror rpc for the angst and suffering and exploration of trauma but that needs to be balanced out by fluff and gentle vibes. [loudly into the megaphone] its about LOVE and HORROR-

PLOTS OR MEMES : i like both! i think it's easiest to get things rolling with just whatever memes thrown my way and vice versa. i love plotting stuff out, but sometimes that takes a bit of existing in each others rpc space for a while. so i can be sort of slow w building dynamics, but i do like to!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i don't mind either, it's kind of refreshing to switch between the two, more rapid fire stuff is nice esp to start with, though i am known to be insane in the reply lengths for some prompts once stuff is plotted out.

BEST TIME TO WRITE : i'm a morning person it's very cringe

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : idk if much really? but i do bring a sort of idiot jock(joth) energy to the function at times. i def project on him on the emotions side i think. and truly whoever i write at a given time reflects a bit on me bc hyperfixation go brrr

TAGGED BY : did steal this from tsari thank u legend TAGGING : hands u it

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narbevoguel · 4 months

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Hello guys. It's been a while since I made a post like this, but today I wanted to talk about my art. I haven't posted something proper in forever, and to say I haven't spent this entire time at least doodling a thing or two would be a lie, but there's a reason why I haven't been posting much and just keeping my art semi private, or multiple, let me explain (I'll have a TLDR at the end if you don't wanna bother with this, but written awfully):

First, I believe you guys deserve more than some stupid sketches. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sketching, aesthetic aside, drawing multiple sketches a day is how I pushed myself to experiment new things and just get better overall, plus I draw them fast, so I could pull a bunch of sketches in the time it takes me to color just one, so I could spill one silly idea after the other. I don't know why or exactly when I started to feel like this is just not worth it for you guys, that you deserve more from me than what I put out, that maybe I disappoint you immensely. This isn't even about reach, I don't care about that, this is about me showing something worth to see.

Second, is how I chose to spend my time. Last year was a very busy year for me overall, my job became increasingly demanding at times, lotsa personal issues that stressed me out immensely, which resulted in me using my remaining free time doing other activities, including spending time with people I shouldn't have been so permissive with (except my gang, that's why I made it a New Year's Resolution to annoy you guys more, you know who you are), it became a thing where I was even afraid to say no to them in favor of my art or other me-activities in fear of them taking it the wrong way, which, in a weird way, ended up happening anyway and resulted in long term passive aggressive conflict, and well, all of this negativity and then some, especially combined, made me reluctant to pick my pen up most of the time, which leads me to my next point.

Third, not drawing as often made me lose my momentum considerably. I could draw stuff comfortably without much artblock, if at all, or something I thought looked ugly. It just came out naturally, sometimes without even using references, it was crazy, but I feel I lost that momentum; don't get me wrong, I don't think my art looks worse than before, far from it, I did a comparison a couple of days ago and I noticed that despite all these issues, I have indeed improved a lot, thing is, I still feel it doesn't look good, I can't seem to know where I want to go with it, or what I want it to look like, I have no idea how to describe this feeling of "I hate immensely what I've been doing", maybe I'm beating myself up too hard and this is a result of not sharing anything with you guys, but I want to be comfortable with the characters I always draw before I bring them out again (although for some reason Purah's perfection always makes my doodling easier, she has become my ultimate comfort character it seems, hah).

All that said, I want to change things this time. I'm not sure if I'll post more like I did before, or if I'll post less than I used to, but I want to post things again. Maybe won't start soon, but will definitely do it. I've even been stocking up on traditional materials to pick the pen back up in other ways as well (haven't done this since my college days, so I'm a bit excited), I don't want to make promises I can't keep (you guys know I'm terrible with keeping up with stuff lol), but I will try my hardest to post more finished pictures and less sketches. It might result in me posting less art and/or jokes as before, but we'll see where that leads me. I'm still not sure if I'll continue to keep the sketches to myself or not, but one step at a time, step one is to just stop beating myself up, turns out my negativity knows how to throw hands. If you read ALL to this point, my most sincere thanks, I know it isn't easy to put up with my crap, and if you didn't it's fine, I still love you, in fact, I'll sum it up for you below.

TLDR: I'm a stupid piece of crap that didn't know how to manage my free time which resulted in me developing a very serious case of imposter syndrome and I'm throwing hands back in hopes, no, in expectancy of walking out of it a victor, for my sake, and for you guys as well.

Anyway, thanks for reading, short or long version, and remember, a Purah a day, keeps uh, the heart happy and brain mushy, or something like that.

#long rant #random ramble #I don't know why I wanted to say all of this #I just did #I couldn't contain it #It's like word vomit #It just came out like bluaghgahgaghahg #I'm sorry guys #I love Purah

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felicitythekittycat · 1 year

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When I got these messages out of nowhere, I immediately panicked. I had an idea of who sent the messages but I had no idea what they would actually do, and my mind went to the worst possibilities. At the time, I was terrified and acted irrationally. I completely snapped and reacted by making a post to try to appease them. I tried to explain every bad thing I had experienced in the last few years in terms of it being my fault, even if I was just an observer, or had been taken advantage of in one case. I stayed vague because I didn't know what this person wanted from me, and tried to keep it brief instead of going into all the details, and my habit of self-blame implied far worse things than what actually happened. Not that I'm saying I'm completely innocent. Far from it. But my irrational and panicked response caused more harm than good and I need to set the record straight.

the roleplay group that ended August 2021 I mentioned, I may have technically been the oldest but the age range when the group started was only 15-18. We were in the pandemic and trying to escape from reality. I fell into the same destructive attention-seeking patterns as before and I beat myself up for not being a "responsible adult" even though we're only 1-3 years apart. I was a shit friend again. I'm so sorry, Asriel.

And to clarify the biggest issue: In October 2021, I joined another RP community. I fell into the same selfish patterns again, having written a character who was very pitiable and self-loathing. I met someone and we became friends! We had started writing character lore and group events. He wanted to include hypnosis which seemed innocent enough, but it started to make me uncomfortable. I kept thinking I was reading too much into his odd requests but when his character tried to force mine to "say something submissive" I put my foot down IMMEDIATELY and it went no further. That was as far as it went, it was never explicit at any point, and I found out later he was getting off the hypnosis itself as a fetish. I felt violated. I STILL feel violated, and ashamed. I let myself get manipulated by a kid 5 years younger than me into roleplay that he got off to, but who the fuck would believe the adult in that scenario? That's the truth of what I vague-posted before, and the main reason I felt the need to explain myself once I calmed down from the initial panic of those anonymous threats. I have also now cut contact completely.

With regards to the sender of the anonymous message:

In 2019, I tried to introduce a friend to friends in a large community, but things went poorly to an explosive degree. Instead of defending her, I joined in making fun of her reaction and continued to the point of slander. If she did something I didn't like I’d complain to someone else about every little thing she did to upset me instead of saying it to her face so we could fix it. This spiraled out of control.

I had this conflicting thought process of not wanting to bother people with my problems and wanting validation from everyone, which meant I’d act vague about what was wrong and then get upset over these problems not being magically resolved. I was a very passive-aggressive, sometimes outright aggressive person. I was also loud and attention-seeking, too focused on what I was feeling to acknowledge how I hurt other people with my actions.

Looking back on these conversations, I don’t know what my mindset was at the time. I would fight her heavily over her agreeing to set boundaries for me. I would panic and just start screaming at the smallest sign of conflict. I complained to people over conversations that were ultimately civil, or at the very least snarky remarks that she had already apologized for. I’d get frustrated over the most stupid stuff.

As we started to talk more, a joke ship between our characters emerged. I loved the idea at the time and drew fanart because it made me feel special and validated. I would use this to get closer with her and get her attention, throwing fits if I didn't get it. At some point I talked to a friend about it and realized how "problematic" the ship was because of not only the age difference between my character and her version of Dust Sans, but also how abusive the yandere trope as a whole was. I flipped and became resentful, but instead of being straightforward I started slandering it. I used the phrase ‘pedo-ship’ to describe it due to the age difference between Dust and my character. I was referring to the ship, not the creator, but I should have been more careful with my words, especially given her past. I was careless and cruel with how I talked about her.

In March of 2020 things came to a head. We cut contact for our mutual well-being, as we kept hurting each other. I lashed out, yelling more and more about everything and escalating things further. This all stopped in August of 2020, in response to a potential lawsuit. I didn’t know what the lawsuit was about at the time, other than knowing it was related to the awful things I said about her. I just stopped talking about the situation then and there. We hadn't had contact since, until now. In that post, I stated I hadn’t changed and used the above incidents as example. Again, I made that post and those claims in a state of panic, reverting to the state I was in when I last talked to the sender. Nothing can actually fix what I did, and the trauma I inflicted won’t magically be resolved with an ‘I’m sorry’. However, the approach I took to this situation ultimately only made things worse, and it’s best if I’m more honest with my past actions beyond saying ‘it’s all my fault’ with no explanation.

Despite bumps in the road, I’ve gotten better at addressing interpersonal issues as they come up instead of bottling it up. I still think low of myself, but I’ve become better at recognizing those behaviors and my own faults. I’ve resolved not to take out my self-hatred and aggression onto my friends anymore, and I have come to better terms with my past actions, as shitty as they were. I still have a lot I need to work on with a professional therapist. I went to therapy for a little over a year, until it seemed like I was no longer benefitting from it. Then I stopped going. I’m not sure if it was me needing to grow more or if the therapist wasn't a good fit, but I am seeking seeking help again so I can improve myself and stop making the same mistakes.

I'm sticking to my inactivity. I'll come back eventually, but for now, it’s best if I stay off of social media and focus on myself. My 'confession' post reflected my feelings at the time but not an accurate depiction of what actually happened, and did more harm than good. I just wanted to correct that before I move on. Personal growth isn’t something I want to flaunt and say “see? I’m better now!” It’s something that needs to be shown and consistently worked on. And I will continue to do that.

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thequimmqueen · 7 months

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hi Fran, totally get your frustration over Quimm—I think the people who want them together (or to stay together, or get back together, etc) are a bit out-numbered xP … it can be disheartening!! So I totally get you, and sorry to hear it’s making you feel bad )):

But remember, the ship means a lot to a lot of people, and I’d even say it’s one of the backbones of fanon in this fandom—so I don’t think Quimm is going anywhere, at least!! I respect whatever people wanna ship or interpret them as, but I agree it would be nice if more ppl were loud about them as we are 🙈

Hi- I'm really, really sorry that it took ages for me to answer your asks -again- but I felt like I needed the right mindset to answer this one properly, otherwise, I would have behaved very negatively.

(Which I did in the first poll's results... I'm also very sorry about that. You guys really don't need me being passive-aggressive over stuff like this.)

But, Yes, it IS disheartening. It is disheartening to see so few people genuinely like them as a pairing and it kills me that I get so sad about it because I don't have the right to worry so much over what others like- I should KNOW AT THIS POINT- BUT-

It's so.. painful, still. Especially when you're me and you have a history of getting harassed or arguing with people over opinions on this ship & the other one I hate so much. People I thought I got along with, no less.

But, I cannot deny, that's true. Quimm, for better or for worse, has been popular for being one of the few character duos that are directly connected through flipdecks, and seem to have unfinished business going on. (that's not something Timm and Cecilia have haha) There are also many who favored it before I even set foot in this community, and deep down I still hope they like it because a lot of what I've written and drawn is also inspired by them, the people who were obsessed with it before I took the torch myself.

And well, even if I have posted less and less with them, that doesn't mean that I have stopped thinking of them, or Flipline in general. There are days when I can go for hours talking and discussing headcanons, Quimm ideas, and other stuff without a care in the world. But I just, don't feel confident enough to share it here, but instead to friends only.

I would love to find a new place to do that in, to share my art, and headcanons, and place all the cheesy, dorky, made-with-love art and content for these two that I can make.

Because, haha, they still have my heart and they aren't giving it back anytime soon.

And yes, I also want there to be more people that like the ship... which is actually funny because just when I was having this crisis I met a new person who has also recently asked me my opinion on their own ideas for them two. It's funny how the universe works sometimes.

Maybe there aren't many people right now, and maybe it'll be long until we can settle a stable little group (though I know there's still a few people who like it) But I do know I want to share the art and stuff that I make of them, at least to those who care.

and I know that there are indeed, people who care. I'm so sorry I didn't remember before.

#oddest-wren #franny news

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absentmoon · 2 years

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ok so like IHAVE SO MANY . wheatley glados friendship thoughts. i don't know where to begin honestly??? i haven't played in awhile but i hope this is ok :)

well to start i want to talk about my grievances with how wheatley is treated, by the fandom and the game itself. its fairly popular from what ive seen to insult him for his intelligence; this isn't surprising given that the game is. honestly the number 1 "lets all make fun of wheatley" proponent.

this makes me vicariously uncomfortable!

as a disabled person (im dyslexic + dyscalculic with processing issues and ive been made fun of for my intelligence myself) i don't like it when characters— especially ones who are very vocal about their discomfort with it— being insulted for intelligence. i think its shitty. i don't like how much the game jokes about it. i wouldn't like it even if i did find wheatley to be unintelligent. not much more to say, honestly, other than that? wheatley is shown to have low self esteem and low confidence with himself, even if he tries to deny it. seeing him made fun of and jokes about makes me deeply upset on a real level.

regardless, though— wheatley is, honestly, really clever! i find it odd how the game seems to insist that he isn't; im honestly not sure if im actually meant to read him as intelligent, considering how much his actions in game show that he is. was he deliberately written to be smart? i cant tell because of the. constantly insulting him that happens.

wheatley is shown to be very good at planning. sometimes there are flubs in his plans, but overall he's clever enough to successfully help chell escape the facility. and then promptly took over it, but still! he's a smart little guy, even if he couldn't run the entire aperture labs.

this brings me to glados!

glados canonically doesn't care for wheatley— being designed specifically to weigh her down, as well as the whole taking over her facility thing. but frankly i don't think she fully believes what she says about him either?

"you're not just a regular moron. you were designed to be a moron."

similarly to how she insults chell, i think this is more about saying what will hurt him the most rather than being her true thoughts; while chell did help, wheatley also did the bulk of planning when it came to taking out her primary weapons and even herself. i don't think she'd fully see him as unintelligent— i know she often says he is in game, but it just doesn't fit to me. like. i don't see her fully considering someone a part of taking her down as unintelligent; not to mention how that would be in some ways an insult to her as well.

i have more to say but this is bumming me out and this is my post on my blog so. moving on!

i really do think they could VERY MUCH get along! apologies for not having as much to say here this very much a Vibes Thing B)

they both have bad experiences with the scientists that made them; both were designed to be things and deviate from their purpose; both have a distaste towards birds. that's important because i say it is. frankly, they both definitely need the friendship i think? its a dead facility. theyre functionally immortal. i see them as having a similar sense of humor; wheatley needs a good example of self esteem and confidence, and glados honestly needs something a little less serious around. let the lady have fun sometimes she is working constantly. ok my thumbs are getting stiff so im ending this post now but you guys GET IT RIGHT.. they're genuine friends and they don't insult eachother, its not passive aggressive. at most theres light ribbing but they don't go too far and if they did they'd apologize sincerely because they care about eachother.Thanks

#IDID MY BEST i hope. this is good :)#daisy.txt #🔭.wheatley

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darklordofthesimp · 1 year

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Unpopular opinion anon here I think i got too heated my bad sunny, i didn't mean to incite a civil war. I enjoy both fics and pairings obviously anything that dark mother writes is amazing. That drabble where Sunny called Birdy a cunt for yelling at Sunshine basically set me off cause why is Sunny allowed to have a domineering aggressive personality but if Birdy shows the same then Sunny is instantly shoving them against a wall threatening them, was like woah hold up Sunny can dish it but Birdy can't? Maybe i took it the wrong way and that's my bad. I don't think it's so much Birdy on a pedestal so much as a double standard of Birdy can't be aggressive becuase Sunny is and Sunny can't be passive cause Birdy is. They balance each other out and it works in the end and that's all that matters. Sunny is valid and so is there response to everything happening, Sunny can stand to be a tiny bit more compassionate and Birdy can stand to show some progress towards recovery after a year and try to make amends. This doesn't make any sense cause I'm just rambling but yeah anyways sorry lol

I DID NOT WRITE THAT 💀💀

That is not canon, it wasn't even written by the author or the creator of the characters. It's just what somebody imagined and put to paper, it's concept work and they said that they just couldn't get the scene out of their head.

I understand how sometimes other people write things that you or the author don't envision but PLEASE it's not real. Sunshine wouldn't do that unless it was SEVERELY called for and to be fair, Birdy being a cunt to Sunshine and them putting up with it over and over and over because they're traumatised and they don't want to push it is actually a fair reason to snap.

However, Birdy would never be a straight cunt to Sunshine and Sunny would never chokehold Birdy and have a Go.

They love each other too much they gotta kith

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thelugubriousheart3 · 11 months

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There's a whole chapter on perfectionism in Bird by Bird, because it is the great enemy of the writer, and of life, our sweet messy beautiful screwed up human lives. It is the voice of the oppressor. It will keep you very scared and restless your entire life if you do not awaken, and fight back, and if you're an artist, it will destroy you.

My pastor said last Sunday that if you don't change directions, you are going to end up where you are headed. Is that okay with you, to end up still desperately trying to achieve more, and to get the world to validate your parking ticket, and to get your possibly dead parents to see how amazing you always were?

This is not going to happen. They are either so dead, like mine are, or they are insatiable, or so relieved that you did not end up divorced--or if you did, then heavily into drugs, like the Woodson girl, or more out of shape than you are, like Esther's son. It's hopeless, and this is the good news.

Putting those tiny pesky parental voices aside, what about, oh, say, the entire rest of the world?

Do you mind even a little that you are still addicted to people-pleasing, and are still putting everyone else's needs and laundry and career ahead of your creative, spiritual life? Giving all your life force away, to "help" and impress. Well, your help is not helpful, and falls short.

Look, I struggle with this. I hate to be criticized. I am just the tiniest bit more sensitive than the average bear. And yet, I'm a writer, so I periodically put my work out there, and sometimes like all writers, I get terrible reviews, so personal in nature that they leave me panting. Even with a Facebook post, like the last one, do you have any idea what it's like to get 500-plus negative attacks, on my character, from truly bizarre strangers.

Really, it's not ideal.

Yet, I get to tell my truth. I get to seek meaning and realization. I get to live fully, wildly, imperfectly. That's why I'm alive. And all I actually have to offer as a writer, is my version of life. Every single thing that has happened to me is mine. As I've said a hundred times, if people wanted me to write more warmly about them, they should have behaved better

Is it okay with you that you blow off your writing, or whatever your creative/spiritual calling, because your priority is to go to the gym or do yoga five days a week? Would you give us one of those days back, to play or study poetry? To have an awakening? Have you asked yourself lately, "How alive am I willing to be?" It's all going very quickly. It's mid-May, for God's sake. Who knew. I thought it was late February.

It's time to get serious about joy and fulfillment, work on our books, songs, dances, gardens. But perfectionism is always lurking nearby, like the demonic prowling lion in the Old Testament, waiting to pounce. It will convince you that your work-in-progress is not great, and that you may never get published. (Wait, forget the prowling satanic lion--your parents, living or dead, almost just as loudly either way, and your aunt Beth, and your passive-aggressive friends, whom we all think you should ditch, are going to ask, "Oh, you're writing again? That's nice. Do you have an agent?")

Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you're 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn't go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen. Repent just means to change direction--and NOT to be said by someone who is waggling their forefinger at you. Repentance is a blessing. Pick a new direction, one you wouldn't mind ending up at, and aim for that. Shoot the moon.

Here's how to break through the perfectionism: make a LOT of mistakes. Fall on your butt more often. Waste more paper, printing out your shitty first drafts, and maybe send a check to the Sierra Club. Celebrate messes--these are where the goods are. Put something on the calendar that you know you'll be terrible at, like dance lessons, or a meditation retreat, or boot camp. Find a writing partner, who will help you with your work, by reading it for you, and telling you the truth about it, with respect, to help you make it better and better; for whom you will do the same thing. Find someone who wants to steal his or her life back, too. Now; today. One wild and crazy thing: wears shorts out in public if it is hot, even if your legs are milky white or heavy. Go to a poetry slam. Go to open mike,and read the story you wrote about the hilariously god-awful family reunion, with a trusted friend, even though it could be better, and would hurt Uncle Ed's feelings if he read it, which he isn't going to.

Change his name and hair color--he won't even recognize himself.

At work, you begin to fulfill your artistic destiny. Wow! A reviewer may hate your style, or newspapers may neglect you, or 500 people may tell you that you are bitter, delusional and boring.

Let me ask you this: in the big juicy Zorba scheme of things, who fucking cares?

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ultraericthered · 2 years

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Speaking of Lily Orchard bullshit, this is PEAK Lily Orchard bullshit.

Tragic backstories are a way to guilt you for wanting to kill a villain, because killing villain = bad. It’s part of the way so many storytellers are so ideologically stagnant and passively support abusers over victims. Many villains are abuse victims turned abusers because every male writer thinks they’re the first person to come up with that.

Uuuuh, what now? Plenty of villains with tragic backstories have, in fact, been killed in the end. That statement about “so many storytellers” makes no sense and comes with not a shred of evidence to back up the claim, and that generalizing about “male writers”???

What many people consider “morally complex villains” tend to just be heroic people filtered through the lens of lazy centrism.

OR, hear me out here, they could be morally complex leaning-towards-bad people whose actions cannot be judged as anything but “villainous”, filtered through the lens of basic centrism, ethical standards and principles, and common sense morality that most decent people, regardless of whatever their differences, live by.

Oftentimes they just take something objectively good and shovel some pure evil villainy onto it. Almost every “morally complex villain” is just “We want to fight against systems of oppression and lift up the second class citizens… we will achieve this by boiling kittens in lava.” It’s not compelling, it’s just how a writer supports authoritarian regime without just coming out and saying “I simp for facsism.”

Oh no, it’s that “Marvel Villain” argument again. If boiling kittens in lava was a legitimate, actually working means towards dismantling an oppressive system and toppling a regime, people like Lily here would absolutely be gung-ho for kitten boiling. The ethical dilemma and hideous, heinous nature of the thing would mean nothing against such “eye on the prize” mentality - it’s all about the results they personally want, not however many innocents might get seriously hurt or worse in the proccess. It’s all heart with no mind or soul.

These people aren’t morally complex villains. They’re heroic people having villainy shoved onto them BY real life villains.

So is she referring to the fictional characters as “heroic people” and the real people creating them and writing their stories as “real life villains?” Is that really what she’s trying to suggest here?

RWBY did this, Steven Universe did this, Legend of Korra did this, those shows could not simp for the status quo any harder if they fucking tried.

Except for all the times they changed or modified the status quo, making gradual progress in working towards a better future? Got it.

That’s the con at play here. You see a protest, the people in power said “It’s a riot” and you believed them.

Sometimes it’s a riot. Othertimes it’s aggressive activism and open rebellion. And othertimes still, it’s terrorism. That last one is evil, btw.

That throughline doesn’t work without the centrist/conservative viewpoint. It’s why “morally complex villains” don’t appeal to me in the slightest. Because I know why they were written this way.

Wow, Lily’s veered so far Left that she now lumps centrism and conservatism together even though they are quite different things. The idea behind a complex villain is that it’s meant to be acessible and understandable to anyone living the human experience while also showing where and how one might step wrong. Cautionary tales work best when the damned character is identifiably human, like us.

I can’t look at the Equalists and see anything but Bryke venting their anger about those entitled Occupy Wall Street kids. I can’t look at Villain Sylvanas and see anything but Alex Afrasaibi projecting his extreme and well documented hatred of women onto a character he’s been wanting to make into a villain for a long time and couldn’t until Chris Metzen retired.

Well I can, but if you can’t then that’s on you. :P

This wasn’t a somber tale of the victim becoming the abuser. This was a real abuser villainizing his real victims through a character he had hated for a very long time. That’s what this shit is. That’s what it has always been. It was never smart, it was just abusive rhetoric caked through layers of irony and navel gazing. Abusers said “Our victims will become evil people for seeking retribution” and a bunch of people just took them at their word.

Blah blah blah blah BLAH, this is what I’ve heard said about a lot of villains (who Lily would probably hate as well, ironically) - heard this about Rumpelstiltskin, heard it about Kylo Ren, heard it about Prince Lotor, heard it about Billy Hargrove, heard it about Simon Laurent, heard it about Grant Ward, I’m just so fucking sick of it at this point.

We’ve long since pulled back the curtain and revealed the lie of “complex villains.”

No. No we have not. This is your self-important delusions speaking.

Some irony-poisoned weirdo will go “Some villains think they’re saving the world” yeah, every fucking tyrant thinks they’re the real hero, that doesn’t mean it’s true.

And that’s often the whole purpose behind the complex villain. That you can appreciate their complexity as a fictional character while also seeing what condemns such a character “as a person” in terms of their unjustifiable behavioral problems and reprehensible actions. It doesn’t mean we have to sympathize with, like, or “enjoy” such evildoers in real life, or that we’re being taught to do so in any way. If you grow up right into a properly functioning, thinking, reasoning adult, you’re able to separate fiction from reality in order to do this. But sadly, Lily didn’t. so she doesn’t.

The Nazis thought they were saving the world, but you’re not supposed to believe them when they tell you that. They were a bunch of egotistical losers, blaming all their failures on the Jews.

Godwin’s Law! There it is! Lily definitively fails, and this is in addition to missing that we’re not supposed to believe in what most of the villains she whines about say - only believe that they believe it.

Evil isn’t complex. It’s banal.

This is true. What’s also true is that human beings are complex, and thus what draws human beings towards evil is complex.

Unless you are the kind of person who sides with that evil and need to convince others that evil looks different. Evil’s justifications are fake. Their goals are lies, their excuses weak, and their tragic backstories insignificant, and if you believed any of them… you’re a fool.

Y’know, it really fits that she is saying this directly to her followers.

#villains #criticism #morality #evil #entitled #insanity #stupidity #misaimed fandom #completely missing the point #anti lily orchard

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sleeping-on-cracking-ice · 3 years

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SFW Alphabet | Ryohei Arisu

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character: Ryohei Alice

Genre: fluff

Author’s Note: I’m trying to write a lot of AiB x reader content because there’s not a lot of it on tumblr and I’m sure you guys want more. The only thing is I want it to be well-written and not rushed so it’s actually enjoyable to read, so I’m so sorry if some take longer than expected! 😓 Please request something if you want to!

*This based in the real world, not in the Borderland

A - Affection

(How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Alice would be rather shy with physical affection I feel

If he’s new into a relationship, he would probably ask before making any sort of physical contact with you

He respects boundaries like a true gentleman

As the relationship progresses, he would become more confident in his actions, showing his love for you more often

He wouldn’t be overly affectionate or unaffectionate, just somewhere in the middle

I think he would enjoy just quality time with you more than constantly feeling the need to touch you

B - Best Friend

(What would they be like as a best friend?)

Alice as a best friend would be so much fun

He seems like such a laid back and chill person, being open-minded and nonjudgmental

You and him would probably play video-games together all the time, being incredibly competitive and bantering the whole time

You and him would go out late at night just to go get food together and play games at a local arcade

There wouldn’t be a day when you’re not together, sticking by each others sides through thick and thin

You would probably have friendly arguments every time you are together, teasing and mocking each other in a harmless matter

As a group of four, Alice, Chota, Karube and you would be like peas in a pod

C - Cuddles

(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Alice would adore cuddles, but would be so shy to ask for them

You would have to be the one to initiate a cuddling session, probably by sitting on his lap, taking him by surprise

He would probably rest his head on your shoulder while you were on a long train or bus ride together, eventually falling asleep next to you

If you and him were cuddling on the couch, Alice wouldn’t let you leave

“Alice. I need to pee, let me go.” “But I just got comfy!”

He’d act offended when you eventually escape the cage that is his limbs

His favourite cuddling position would be him lying on his back while you’re spread out on top of him, head resting on his chest

He likes this position because he can kiss the top of your hair and stay warm underneath your body

D - Domestic

(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

It would take a few years of dating for Alice and you to move in together

He loves the fantasy of a teen love situation where you two would sneak out together and go on late night dates

He would be afraid that when you move in together eventually, you would lose that thrill between you too

But after giving in and buying an apartment with you, he wouldn’t regret it at all

In a living situation, Alice would try to help you around the house as much as possible

You would have different chores assigned to each of you, making it fair

I feel like he wouldn’t be able to cook, like at all

Better he sticks to cleaning and laundry whilst you handle cooking meals for both of you

E - Ending

(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If you were to break it off with him, it would honestly break him

But of course, he would hate to show that it gets to him, his sadness would come out in anger

He would overthink for weeks, wondering where he went wrong

Would probably get drunk at some bars a few nights and drunk text you, saying how much he misses you

If he was to break it off with you, he would feel incredibly guilty

Even if he had wanted to do it for a while, he would feel so bad after seeing tears running down your face

He would probably cry too and would have to fight the urge to scoop you into his arms and hold you as you cry

F - Fiancé(e)

(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Wouldn’t want to rush into things, preferring to take things slow

He likes to live in the moment without worrying about the past or future

I think having someone who would want to get married quickly would scare him off

Don’t get me wrong, he would be completely committed to you, it would just take time for him to get to that point

Never has the biggest urge to get married, honestly doesn’t see it as incredibly important

He would want to get married later in his life, as long as it’s with the right person

G - Gentle

(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He is such a gentlemen, no one can convince me otherwise

He would be so gentle with you, treating you like a piece of art

Wouldn’t even grab your arm or try to cheekily jump-scare you, in fear that he would accidentally hurt you

If you guys were having a heated moment, he would hesitate before placing his hands on you

You would have to tell him that it’s okay and place his hands on you yourself

Emotionally, he would try his absolute best to understand you

Although he would be a bit awkward when it comes to deep emotions, he would be so cautious in his words and actions when you’re in a emotionally vulnerable situation

So considerate and gentle, never wanting to make you uncomfortable in any way

H - Hugs

(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He would honestly give the best hugs

I think he would prefer hugs over kisses, because he loves the close feeling of having you snuggled up against him

He would always do the running hug every time he met up with you, always having the same level of excitement from seeing your face

He would also love walking down the street with your arms around each other

The small simple gesture makes him so comforted and warm inside

I - I Love You

(How fast do they say the L-word?)

Would be so shy to say it

He would probably say it when he thinks your asleep, whispering it into your ear while brushing your hair out of your face

When you open your eyes and respond, he looks like he’s seen a ghost

“What did you say Alice?” “Uh... nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

He would roll his body to face the other way, trying to fall asleep

You would lean over his shoulder and say you love him too while he’s just about to fall unconscious

He would snap awake, looking up at you in surprise with his wide eyes

You’d spend the night tucked so close to each other then, giving each other sweet kisses and shy compliments

J - Jealousy

(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I actually can see him getting jealous very easily

Like even if you hung out with one of your male best friends, Alice would ask everything about the guy

It would come from a good place though, he would be scared of you finding someone better than him

When he gets jealous, he would become really quiet and passive aggressive

Would never admit that he’s jealous, no matter how hard you try to get him to confess

But it would be pretty easy to tell, even your friends would notice

If you were out together with Karube and Chota, Alice would feel a bit upset if you spent most of the time talking to one of them instead of him

When this happens, he’ll wrap an arm around your waist and press you to his side, just to remind you he’s there as well

K- Kisses

(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He would have random clingy moments where he would beg you for endless kisses

He would purse his lips and close his eyes playfully waiting for you kiss him

It would always make him blush, no matter how long you’ve been together

His favourite place to kiss you would be your nose

He loves the way your face scrunches up when he does it, always making him fall just a little bit more in love

His favourite place to be kissed would simply be his lips

He loves the intimacy of it and would love it when you surprise him with a sudden kiss to his lips

L - Little Ones

(How are they around children?)

Would actually really like kids

I feel like he would like babies more than toddlers though

He would find them so adorable, but the thought of babysitting or having a kid of his own makes him nervous

He would like them, but wouldn’t be able to look after them well

If you two had to babysit for a family member, I think he’d really enjoy watching you interacting with the kid

If in the future you two had children of your own, he would want to wait quite a while, probably until after marriage if you planned to get married

M - Morning

(How are mornings spent with them?)

You both would always wake up late, no matter the day

Would probably be from playing video-games together all night or just staying awake for hours and talking / cuddling

If he woke up before you, he would tuck you under the covers again if they fell during the night and leave the room, wanting to leave you sleeping peacefully

But some mornings if he wants you to wake up with him, he would lay his entire body across you and whine for you to wake up

“Y/N... babyyy-” “What?” “Wake up, I’m bored.” “No.” “pLeAsE!”

He would be impossible to wake up though

You could throw stuff at him, yell in his ears, jump on top of him, but he would not open his eyes

It’s like as if someone knocked him out

You would have to resort to dragging him off the bed by his legs

N - Night

(How are nights spent with them?)

You would always go to sleep late, there was never a night where you would go to sleep before 12:00am

Even if you fell asleep, Alice would wake you up again because he would want to spend more time with you

You would talk and play video-games together until you either passed out on the bed on top of each other

If you fell asleep on the couch, Alice and you would be complaining the whole day tomorrow about your back pains

Sometimes, but very rarely, you would have deep conversations, then afterwards fall asleep with your limbs wrapped around each other tightly

O - Open

(When would they start revealing things about themselves?)

It would take time for him to open up

I feel like with Alice you’d have to earn his trust, he doesn’t just give it out for free

He would rarely talk about his feelings on a deep level

Even after years of being together, he’d still be a bit reserved

It wouldn’t be personal, I just think Alice would prefer to keep his strong emotions inside

Although, if something really got to him, he would probably break his walls a bit

He would hold things inside until they got too hard to handle

He’d have a big cry with you comforting him, then be fine again

It would mean the world to him if you sat and listened to him for hours and valued his emotions

P - Patience

(How easily angered are they?)

Honestly, quite easily

Depends really what it’s about

Fights between you too wouldn’t happen often, but he would get in bad moods a few times a week

He gets quite frustrated with minor things though, like if his phone or computer wasn’t working properly

He’d get over it really quick though

If he was to become mad at you, he would tell you straight up why he’s upset

He would despise it if you walked away and didn’t face the issue

When he’s really upset, he may say things that he doesn’t really mean in the heat of the moment

But he would always apologize after he’s calmed down, giving hugs and kisses for the rest of the day endlessly

Q - Quizzes

(How much would they remember about their partner?)

I feel like he’d actually be kind of bad at this

He would keep a few common things memorized, like your favourite movie or place

But sometimes he would forget minor things

He would feel awful about it though

It’s not that he doesn’t care enough, he just has a bad memory

After a while, he would begin to keep notes in his phone about things you like so he has ideas for birthday presents and anniversary gifts

Always has the best intentions, he’s just a little slow

R - Remember

(What is their favourite moment in their relationship?)

His most favourite moment would be a date you guys went on together during the first few months of dating

He had come over to your house and invited you to go for a walk with him around town

After buying late night takeaway snacks at a restaurant, he brought you to a quiet building and climbed the stairs all the way to the top

You two sat there for hours, eating your food and laughing until you couldn’t breath while looking out over the city’s fluorescent lights

He loved this night with you especially, because he thinks you looked gorgeous with the city lights dancing across your skin

I think this was the night he realized that he was in love with you, watching you smile and laugh with hearts in his eyes

S - Security

(How protective are they of their partner? How would they protect their partner? How would they like to be protected?)

Would try to hide it, but he would secretly be so cautious about your safety

He’s knows that he’s not the strongest or fittest person, but he still tries his best to make you feel safe

When you’re out in public at night, he always has his arm around your shoulder or your waist, just to make sure you stay close to him

If someone you didn’t know approached you and was acting a little too friendly, Alice would glare at them over your shoulder and distract you

If someone was to say something rude or offensive towards you, oh no

Alice would go OFF

He would swear and yell at them before you even get the chance to defend yourself

There would be times where you would have to physically drag him away because you were afraid he would throw a punch

T - Try

(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Would try his best for special events

He’d be very bad at keeping secrets or surprises, you would most of the time find out what he has planned

But you wouldn’t tell him that you know so you don’t upset him when he gets really excited about surprising you

He would do the usual on your anniversary, flowers and chocolates with a cute date planned

He would love buying you cute little gadgets and books that he’s read that he think you would like

He would prefer simple, movie dates most of the time, but maybe once every two months you would go out for a cliché romantic dinner

U - Ugly

(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Definitely his gaming

Sometimes he would play it for hours on end, not giving you much attention

I mean most the time you would join him or watch him play, but after a while it would get a little old

The only way to distract him enough to get him off the game is to sit on his lap facing him and kiss his neck

He would freeze up and drop the game immediately

“Okay fine! I’ll give you attention!”

V - Vanity

(How concerned are they with their looks?)

Wouldn’t be his priority

Obviously because of his overgrown hair, he doesn’t care hugely for his looks

I mean if you guys were going out together, he would put in his best effort to look decent for you

But if it’s just a day at home, he wouldn’t give less of a toss what he looks like

He doesn’t get insecure about himself often, he knows you love him no matter what he looks like

W - Whole

(Would they feel incomplete without their partner?)

He would value his partner over most things in his life

I mean, I do see him as a independent personality, so if he dated someone who was super clingy, I think he would find them irritating

He loves you so much, but he does need his time alone

He doesn’t think you constantly need to be all over someone and always be beside them to love them with your whole heart

So, he would love you more than anything, but he wouldn’t feel the need to depend on you for everything

X - Xtra

(A random headcanon for them)

He would love if you were best friends with Karube and Chota

Seeing his most favourite people in the world all get along would make him so happy

I think it would bring him a sense of security if you’re close to them as well, because he can trust them to take care of you if you need it when he’s not there

They would tease you and Alice all the time just to mess with you

Chota would love to have intelligent conversations with you like the lil’ nerd he is

And Karube would love to drink and banter with you

They would honestly be such a fun group of friends to hang out with

You would never be bored with them

Y - Yuck

(What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

I mentioned before briefly, but he would hate a really clingy and possessive partner

He is independent and an introvert, so he would like his time alone with no one else every now and then

Having a partner that constantly has to be touching him or talking to him would be so annoying

He finds it really obnoxious, so he would prefer someone with a personality that is logical, reasonable and holds good morals

Z - Zzz

(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He definitely snores

Not incredibly loud, but little snorts would leave him every now and then during the night

Sometimes if he does it for a while, you would nudge him with your leg to wake him up

Of course, he denies it, not believing that he snores

It’s not until you record his snores on your phone would he realize it

“There’s no way. That’s so embarrassing oh my god.”

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