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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Buster & Rio

Buster: Sleep well? Rio: Not a wink Buster: Told you to come in here but won't say I told you so as well, like Rio: Still not convinced that's the great idea you're painting it as Rio: Anyway, had to keep an eye on 'em regardless of comfort Rio: Not so your stuff was safe, don't get it twisted Buster: Suit yourself Buster: They're asleep now, yeah? So coffee or tea? Rio: Like friggin' babes Rio: butter wouldn't melt, okay bitches Rio: You offering or you got staff for that? Rio: 😉 Buster: Capable of pressing a button Buster: Sorry to shatter your illusions Rio: Jokes, babe Rio: Coffee, though, tah Buster: Yeah, well, you weren't the only one kept up by the youngers Buster: Sense of humor is heavily tied to mood Rio: Aww, so grumpy Rio: thank your lucky stars you don't live with 'em Buster: Do you want butler service or do you want me to spit in this cup? Think on Rio: After being treated with an insight into your sexual health? Not taking my chances Rio: 😬🤐 Buster: Behave Rio: What can I say? Bed company I'm keeping Buster: I have no idea if you meant that or if it was a typo for bad Buster: Too tired to decode you right now Rio: No typos with these tired eyes Rio: Didn't fancy your 'rents finding any of us lounging on their sofas Buster: Well, as you can see, babe, not an issue Buster: Catch them doing the opposite at the office Rio: Foresight's a bitch Rio: and Indie kicks in her sleep Buster: Not too late to take me up on my offer Buster: Get your head down, they don't need watching now Rio: You started the coffee yet? Buster: All these fancy settings, takes me a while to figure them out, like Buster: Go Rio: Settles that then Buster: Catch you later Rio: You should Buster: Yeah Rio: Might cheer you up Buster: You wish, babe Buster: You ain't that good at handling people Rio: Yeah I am Rio: but shh, sleep now Buster: Pleasant dreams Rio: Backatcha Rio: [A nap later] Rio: You 'rents are back, sleepyhead Buster: Typical Buster: Get one of them to put the coffee back on then Rio: Debating waking them up and making it a party Rio: nothing having 'em running back to the office faster 😏 Buster: But we'd have to deal when they've gone Buster: Do you really fancy that? Rio: A fair point Rio: Get up then Rio: Me here making awkward small talk like they weren't shocked to see me omw to the loo Rio: Fair Buster: You're not selling it Buster: Reckon I'll stay here Rio: Don't be a prick! Rio: I'm dying Rio: they're your parents Buster: They know where my room is if they wanna act like it Rio: I'll let 'em know Rio: know you're alone and decent so Rio: as decent as you can be Buster: Cheers Rio: are they still asleep forreal? not heard nothing? Buster: 'Course Buster: No waking them Rio: Christ Rio: Good thing I didn't book us on an early back Buster: Not just a pretty face Rio: So charming Buster: I know Buster: You coming back or what? Rio: That wouldn't be weird to explain at all Buster: Bet mum and dad are already rushing around Buster: They'll be gone again soon Rio: Alright, know-all Buster: Like you said, I do live with them Rio: True Rio: Still Buster: Suit yourself, babe Buster: Did they make you coffee or just talk at you the whole time? Rio: They had time for coffee Rio: s'good Rio: you want? Buster: Yeah Rio: You coming down here or Buster: Bring it me Rio: Lazy Buster: Is that a yeah or a nah? Buster: Don't want it over my head, like Rio: Your bed was comfy so Rio: just this once Buster: Cheers Buster: Not the kind of compliment I'm used to waking up to but I'll take it Rio: Well, you kicked her out before she had the chance so Buster: She's got my number, she'll call back Rio: 1-800-GIMMESELFESTEEM Rio: Shaming Buster: You got all that from a perfume spritz and a glance as she passed, yeah? Buster: Very astute Rio: No, I'm saying, if she calls back, then its obvious what she needs Rio: and it ain't you Rio: and a spritz is generous for the bottle she showered in Buster: No if Buster: She'll be calling Buster: 'Cause yeah, it is obvious what she needs, you had that much right Rio: Disgusting Rio: You're obvious, that's for sure Buster: What's wrong with that? Rio: Nothing Rio: if you're fine with being basic then that's cool Buster: Fuck off Buster: Who do you think you are Rio: Touchy Buster: Nobody could blame me Buster: I've been proper nice to you Rio: Well, I was only joking Rio: You do need this coffee Buster: Not denying it Rio: I appreciate it, alright Rio: I'll wake 'em up and we'll be out of your hair Buster: I know Buster: I'm not saying you have to go Rio: s'alright Rio: can't commandeer Nance's room all weekend, lazy hoes Buster: Not like she needs it Buster: And we all need more sleep, wouldn't be such a moody cunt else, would I? Rio: True.. safe to say she wasn't vibing Brixton Jamm's hip-hop night, like Rio: Idk your life, boy 😏 Buster: Finally admitting you don't know everything, is it? Buster: You must be tired Rio: Not the same thing as admitting defeat Rio: just so you know Buster: 'Course Buster: When are you proper thinking of going back? Rio: as long as they're in school monday morning, we're sweet Rio: not that it'd be the first time either of 'em were a no-show but you know, promised Ma Buster: 😇 Buster: Where they dragging you tonight, so I can be prepped in case one of them does a runner again Rio: idk, we got as far in the plan as they wanted to go shopping today but Rio: doesn't seem likely now Buster: Did you wanna or you just the babysitter? Rio: never gonna turn down shopping Rio: but they wanna hit carnaby, camden, which ain't really my scene, nah Buster: Even you've got more taste than that, like Buster: If you wanna throw the word basic around throw it their way first Rio: Umm piss off 🖕 Rio: They're allowed to be tourists if they wanna, they are Buster: And I'm allowed to take the piss if I wanna, 'cause I ain't Rio: If you're looking to impress with your LDN knowledge, take the actual and become a cabbie Rio: Useful, if one of 'em does a bunk again Buster: Piss off yourself Buster: I've done my good turn Rio: Yeah, ride that one to Christmas, like Buster: As the only ride I got last night was to a shitty postcode, I will Buster: You heading to Italy for that coffee or what, like? Can't get the staff Rio: Poor baby rich boy Rio: I had to say bye to your parents Rio: One of us had to be polite Buster: Why? Rio: 'cos word travels fast in this fam Rio: can't be a bad guest Buster: Says you Buster: They didn't know you were a guest, so they won't be shouting any of this about Rio: Had thought you'd drop 'em a text at least when you said it was fine Buster: No fun in that though Rio: 🙄 Rio: Can't with you Buster: Can't what? Buster: Other than keep up, like Rio: Pah Rio: Who's still in bed? Buster: Don't play that you don't wanna be Buster: Proper cosy you were Rio: I already said Rio: comfy bed Buster: Yeah right Rio: What else? Buster: Not being kicked, of course, always an advantage Buster: And then there's how fucking good I look, and smell, despite the blonde's best efforts Rio: And with your rep, too Rio: 😂 reckon there's no room for me now you've moved your ego in Buster: You're tiny enough to make it work Rio: I'm not small Rio: you're freakishly large Buster: It's both, babe Buster: No saving your ego on that one Rio: 😾 Buster: You make it work too Rio: Cheers Rio: Your proportions aren't that circus freak, really Buster: I know Buster: No complaints here Rio: as if you're listening regardless Buster: Have a job not to hear, like Buster: Me and the neighbours Rio: 😷 Rio: Please Rio: too early for that Buster: Speaking of, I think one of 'em moving about up here Buster: You might get to shop after all Rio: Hooray Rio: Least they're definitely alive Buster: How long for is debatable, sounds like they're moving for Nance's en-suite with some speed Rio: 😑 Rio: can't take 'em anywhere Rio: really wanna spend tomorrow cleaning up the pig stye your making Rio: thanks lads Buster: The cleaner will deal Buster: All bants aside we've got one Rio: I will do it Rio: don't be stupid Buster: Don't be so stubborn Buster: I'll slip her some extra cash and she'll be buzzing Buster: Standard Rio: I'm not gonna just leave it but she can get it up to standard when I no doubt fail, yeah Buster: Now you're being stupid Rio: I am not Rio: this ain't a hotel Buster: You're a non-paying guest even more reason to leave it Buster: This is literally her job Rio: doesn't mean I've got to make it harder for her Rio: it's not a big deal Buster: You ain't Buster: Nance is literally the messiest person alive Buster: She won't bat an eyelid at those two Rio: Is it? Rio: You'd never know, Miss professional Rio: anyway Buster: She reckons it's a dyslexia thing Buster: Excuse if I ever heard one Rio: 😂 Rio: So mean Buster: Still true Rio: I'll give her chance to defend herself and expose you when I next see her Rio: s'all good Buster: 'Course Buster: I won't care I'll have died of thirst 'cause my coffee never came Rio: Drama 👑 Rio: surprised you ain't accused me of putting the silverware in my bag Buster: As much as I can bet your fam runs out all the fucking time, you can afford to replace it yourselves Buster: Hardly the poor relatives Rio: never stopped you playing the snobby one before though Buster: Ain't my fault I'm better than you, babe Rio: 🤢 Buster: And I'm the dramatic one, yeah? Rio: I'm not even, that is genuinely how offensive your little act is Buster: Says you Rio: Yeah Rio: You forgot who I am again? Buster: Nah, but you've forgotten me if you think all this is an act, like Rio: Whatever you say Buster: I know you hear me Rio: I dunno why you wanna be unlikeable Buster: I ain't Buster: Just not trying to attract you, babe Rio: Obviously Rio: but who are you Rio: girls as thoroughbred and long in the face as their ponies? Buster: Why do you care enough to ask the question? Rio: Nothing wrong with curiosity Buster: Nah, but you don't need to be curious about who I'm with or why Rio: I'm not Rio: I just wanna know what you're trying to achieve Buster: Nah, you wanna judge Buster: Already done without chatting about this Rio: And what, can't handle what you dish out? Buster: Fuck off Buster: I can handle you easily Rio: Sounds it Buster: I've proved myself enough to you for one weekend Buster: But go off Rio: Proven the opposite of what you're preaching Rio: hence the curiosity Rio: but forget it Buster: I get it, you're into me Buster: Get in line Rio: Now you're just being ridiculous Buster: Joining you in it, babe Rio: Whatever Rio: I'm going to get ready Buster: Cheers for the update Rio: 🖕 Buster: Sooner you're ready the sooner you can sort them and go Rio: Believe it or not, they're capable of doing that themselves Buster: Sounds like it from here Rio: If you wanna help and get 'em out quicker, point them in the direction of another bathroom, yeah? Buster: And have you call me out again, nah, you're alright Buster: Handle it yourself Rio: Oh my God Rio: fine Buster: Try and keep it down though, I'm going back to sleep

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