#cause i don't think that they'd understand

[effwon]

'cause i don't think that they'd understand || ln4 x reader (Part 2/2)

Summary: Lando just wants to walk down to the garage before the Miami race with you by his side. George and Carmen walked in together, Alex and Lily walked in together, so why can't you, as well? Despite your self-consciousness, you agree to walk hand-in-hand with him down to the garage right before the big race, but it's a much harder ask for you than anyone could ever realize.

PART ONE HERE

Plus-size (she/her) Reader x Lando Norris

Warnings: Brief mentions of nausea/being sick, panic, reader is plus-sized and very down on herself about it, weight mentions, ect.

Characters: Lando Norris (your boyfriend) and feat Oscar Piastri as a last minute saving grace for you.

Rating: G.

Tags: @cthgee @hellof-1 @notpeachybby

Notes: Thank you for the feedback on part 1! Feedback is what keeps a writer writing, after all! I started this as an experiment and genuinely did not expect the love that would come with it. I put together a part 2 on the fly (I hadn't planned to write it, actually, I didn't think the response would be this high) and am happy to put this to rest now, to work on some other reader fics. I'm happy to entertain requests, just know that smut is not something I will write in detail (I know, that's what most of you want, I'm sorry). Thank you for the support!

Your eyes flutter open and all you can see above you is a blur of light orange and a bright light. A soft groan escapes the back of your throat, and you turn your head to the side to try and keep the light out of your eyes. Your head is swimming, like there’s a pressure pushing against your brain that you can feel as far as the back of your eyes as well. You are laying on something warm and soft, but most definitely alive - if the gentle shuffling beneath you is anything to go by, anyway.

You furrow your brows as you hum out another soft, confused sound. Very slowly, you try to sit up, but someone’s hand presses against your shoulder and applies a little force, enough to keep you from moving in your hazy state.

“Lando?” you ask, your voice soft and unnaturally raspy. Something isn’t quite right. You don’t remember falling asleep - you don’t even really know where you are, but it only makes sense that Lando would be the one with you…right? As you continue to blink your vision back to clarity, a face comes into view above you - one that is very much not Lando. It’s Oscar Piastri, that much your brain can at least piece together. Around him, the walls start to come into view. The ceiling, the toilet, the vanity to your left…

“Not quite, but I promise he’s coming.” Oscar says above you, and you are grateful that he’s barely speaking louder than a whisper. Your head is pounding and your stomach is churning as everything starts to put itself together. You’re only missing a handful of key puzzle pieces, now.

“Oscar?” You mumble, instinctively curling into his warmth for any ounce of comfort you can glean. One of his hands comes up and carefully, thoughtfully brushes stray hair out of your face. You realize he’s attempting to be soothing, as your brain keeps working to figure this out.

“Yep, that one.” he replies, flashing you a smile that seems, in your opinion, quite tense. Right, it’s slowly coming back.

The bathroom - Lando led you to the bathroom at your request, and then left to get himself into his race kit. You were sick, and immediately after vomiting into the sink, a panic attack had taken hold of you. And then –

Your eyes widen slightly in horror. Oscar, right. You had forgotten to lock the door and he - oh, god, he –

“How long was I out?” you ask suddenly, shooting yourself upright in his arms. He blinks back shock, obviously not expecting you to move so quickly, and looks down at his watch for a brief moment.

“Uh, three minutes? It’s not been long.” 

“Jesus,” you gasp, scrambling out of his comforting grip and backing yourself up against the wall. Oscar looks a bit lost, eyes full of concern as he holds his hands out in front of him, fingers splayed. “I’m sorry - oh my god, that’s - I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine. It’s okay.” he assures you, eerily still as he watches you with a careful gaze. “I’m sorry for touching you without permission. I didn’t want you to hit your head when you fell.”

“That’s not -” you shake your head, feeling your throat tightening with emotion. “No, thank you. That’s not the problem, I promise. I appreciate you.” Anxiety is beginning to swirl in your chest again, but you can feel just how fatigued your body is now. The anxiety, at least, is easier to manage versus pure panic, but it’s making your head spin. 

“It’s okay.” Oscar says again, a bit firmer this time. “I phoned Lando a moment ago, and he’s making his way back right now. I told him I’d stay with you until he got here.”

You nod, relieved to know that Lando would be back for you any moment. You are also grateful for Oscar’s company, regardless of the fact that you hardly know him. Clearly, he’s kind and caring - which doesn’t surprise you, really. Lando hasn’t ever had an off-color thing to say about him.

“Thanks, Oscar. I’m so sorry you had to witness all of-” you swirl your finger around in a circle, searching for the right word, “that. But it means a lot that you didn’t just leave me there.”

“Of course. I don’t know what’s got you so upset, but I hope that you feel better soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. I think it’s a little better already.”

Oscar smiles at you, friendly and kind, and before either of you can utter another word, there’s a frantic knocking at the bathroom door. Oscar’s head snaps back to the door, letting out a small “Oh” as he hops up to his feet and hurries over to unlock the door. Lando’s face comes into view as soon as the door opens, and he looks absolutely distraught. Your chest clenches, knowing that you’re the reason he’s out of sorts, and you lay your head back against the wall.

“When did she wake up? Is she okay? What happened?” you hear Lando ask frantically, firing questions at Oscar before they can be answered. 

Oscar takes it in stride, “She just woke up a moment ago, and she was a bit dazed. She seems okay now, but I don’t know what caused all of this.”

“Thanks, Osc.” Lando breathes, and you can hear the genuine warmth in his tone. “I’ll take it from here, mate.”

There’s a soft ‘click’ as the bathroom door closes, and a slightly louder one as Lando locks the door behind him. His footfalls are quick as he rushes over to you, immediately sliding down the wall to sit next to you on the floor. You look over at him, and your gazes meet for merely a second before he’s wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest.

His scent and the warmth of his body is familiar and comforting in ways you couldn’t possibly verbalize. It’s akin to taking a deep, calming breath of air into your lungs and feeling everything inside of you just slow down for a moment. It’s the relief of the familiarity, the delicacy in which he cradles your head against his heart like you’re his most precious thing.

It makes a lump form in your throat. But you are far too tired for tears, now. Too tired for much of anything but this: sitting here on a dirty bathroom floor, cradled in Lando’s arms.

“I thought you were alright when I left,” he says, so very miserably, “why didn’t you tell me you weren’t? I would’ve stayed.”

“I’m sorry.” you murmur, your voice muffled by the fireproof suit over his chest. You can hear his heart beating rapidly, a gentle barrage of distressed thumps against your ear, and it twists something so deeply in your own chest. You properly worried him, which was the exact opposite of what you wanted to do. “I thought I could work through it while you were changing and that things would be okay by the time you got back.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he urges ever so softly, his hand running up and down your back in the most soothing patterns. You can’t help feeling the warmth of relief encompassing you being back in his presence.

It helps the words flow much easier, without stopping to doubt or scrutinize everything that comes out of your mouth. “It was a panic attack, it didn’t really pop up until after I had initially calmed down. It happens like that sometimes.” You explain, focusing on the ever-present beating of his heart beneath your ear. “Or - it happens like that a lot for me, I guess. Once the initial fight or flight wears off, the real panic comes out. It made me sick and, I dunno, I guess Oscar startled me when he came in and before I even really knew it, I went down.”

Lando’s grip tightens on you almost protectively as he registers your explanation. “Just went down? You say it like it’s the most casual thing.” He scoffs, but there’s no mirth or amusement behind it. You can tell he’s still nervous, still trying to process everything. “Oscar said pretty much the same. Blessing and a curse you forgot to lock the door then, huh?”

You laugh breathily at that, nodding your head in agreement. Had Oscar not been there, you surely would’ve hit your head on the tile and that could’ve been a much scarier sight to behold when someone came by to use the restroom later. As embarrassing as it was to break down in front of someone you hardly knew, you were grateful for his willingness to assist. You would have to find him and give him a proper thank you later.

“Yeah, he’s a nice guy.” You agree, nuzzling into his chest even further. If it were up to you, you would simply lay here in his arms all day long and not think a single thing of it - but you are distinctly aware of the time and of his looming race. Something he should be putting his entire focus into, and not on you. “Now shouldn’t you be out there getting ready for the race?” “Probably,” he admits with a chuckle, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “But I don’t want to leave here until I know for sure you’re alright.”

His thoughtfulness never ceases to amaze you. Perhaps you’d found him to be a bit taught and agitated earlier (and, perhaps, you had deserved that sort of response from him, given your nearly blatant refusal to simply walk across the paddock into the garage with him), but he’s back to his normal warmth and gentleness once more. A relief, you think, in and of itself.

“I’m alright now, really.” you say, lifting your head up from his chest to flash him a soft, sweet little smile. It isn’t a lie, either. Since he’s come back, you’ve felt exponentially better - a result of the panic attack waning and being in the comforting presence of the person you love most in the world. “I’d really like to go see everything else you wanted to show me.”

Lando’s eyes light up in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. He’s always been a bit reactive, with his heart on his sleeve, and you wouldn’t have him any other way if you’re honest. The genuine excitement that sparks on his face is everything you could ever want or need in life. Just to see him happy, it’s enough. It makes every horrible name you call yourself, every fear, every insecurity and every worry melt away into nothing, like it had never even been there to begin with.

“Let’s get some lunch at hospitality first, and then I’ll take you out to see the car afterwards.” He suggests, lifting himself up from the floor and offering you a helpful hand. “I know a little spot we can eat, away from the cameras and all that.”

Even after the hell you’ve put him through today, a soft feeling blossoms in your chest to know he’s still holding you to the forefront of his mind. He’s still looking for ways to make you more comfortable. He’s still loving you, despite your glaring insecurities. You take his hand, skin warm against yours, and lift yourself up onto your feet with his help.

“I think that sounds lovely.” you reply, reaching up and cupping his cheeks in your hands. You stand on the tips of your toes and lean in, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to Lando’s lips. His breath falters for a mere moment, and then he’s kissing you back just as softly, just as gently. As you pull apart, there’s a shy smile on his face that makes your cheeks burn and your chest ignite with adoration. Even if you tried, you do not think you could possibly love him more.

“I think you’re lovely.” He shoots back, a glint of mischief in his eyes. Your cheeks burn even hotter at his remark, and you bury your face into his shoulder to keep the blush from being too obvious. 

“I think you’re going to make me too sick to eat if you keep this up.”

Lando tosses his head back and laughs, genuine and sweet, the sound washes over you with its subtle burst of serotonin - a much needed side effect.

“Fine, fine, I’ll save the ooey-gooey stuff for after the race, then. Just one more quick thing though-” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist as he leans in to press a kiss to your temple. This time, you choose not to shy away from his touch, no matter how big and gaudy your body feels wrapped up in his arms. “I love you.”

Your heart flutters like the wings of a caged bird, yearning to break out of your chest and nestle up tight within his own. You smile, tossing all of the bad thoughts from earlier in the day out of your mind completely. Once again you’ve learned: as long as you have Lando with you, everything really is okay. “I love you, too.”

The news articles do drop early the next morning, from multiple sources, with their rude and hateful headlines about you, your body type, and your worth in regards to Lando’s love. And, just as you expected, each and every one of them hits like a knife to your gut as you see them pop up one after another on your feed.

But, at the end of every single one of these articles is the same quote from Lando - the only quote he offered the reporters on the matter of your relationship during the entire day.

“Quite frankly, I don’t care what anyone thinks of our relationship. It isn’t their business, it’s mine and her’s, and I genuinely think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. Nothing is going to change that.”

And you just smile.

#lando norris #oscar piastri #f1 rpf #x reader #f1 x reader #f1 rpf reader #reader fic #x reader fic #lando x reader #lando norris x reader #plus size reader #plus sized reader #female reader #x female reader #rpf x reader #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic

[savelockwoodandco]

It's been a year of campaigning and I can't help but feel despondent about the chances of the show even though I know these things take time. I know I'm not the only one as well. I think it's the fact we don't have any sort of sign from anyone official that any of what we're doing is helping. Any real sign of major progress. Just hints and after a while you begin to wonder if it's just our own confirmation bias. There's no clue if any progress is being made at all. A part of me wonders that they're too afraid to tell us any bad news. Another part of me is still hopeful that no news is good news. Idk. I just wish we had anything concrete, some sort of acknowledgement, that we're not screaming into the void and it's not hopeless still and that we're somewhat closer to getting the show saved now than we were last year. Right now its a struggle to hope and I fear its all the more frustrating that situations like last year's strikes probably ended up causing a lot of internal industry changes we may not even be able to account for or that may be affecting how long this process takes. It feels like we know less now than we did last year. Do you have anything to shed some light on this from a different perspective? And if you're feeling sad yourself, all the hugs from me to you and Twitter Mod 🫂. If you don't have any optimism you don't need to give hope to us too since that's an unfair responsibility to drop on you.

Hi Anon! Thanks for the message and for the hugs for both of us!

It's amazing to think it's been a year of campaigning -- us mods have had so many things happen to us since we started this blog, and we're sure it's the same for many of you.

We were pretty sure we'd start to see a sort of 'settling' effect on the enthusiasm for this campaign as the year mark came, and sure enough here it is! That's not a problem or unexpected -- it's hard to keep up efforts and enthusiasm over a longer stretch of time! Having been in many, many campaigns before (successful and otherwise), we're prepared for the long haul, but we totally understand the sort of despondent feelings that come from time to time, especially as the campaign goes on.

A year, in the scheme of things, is really not that long for a campaign all things considered. It feels incredibly long sometimes, sure, but with all the legalities, scheduling issues, rights issues, and everything else that comes with modern TV, it's a pretty short time frame. The hints, good things, and continued momentum from the fanbase and from those directly involved from the show are always heartening, and happen with regularity -- but can feel like very little sometimes. We always recommend taking breaks when burnout starts, and that holds even more true the longer the campaign stretches.

Ultimately, us mods are still as optimistic as we were when we started this blog almost exactly a year ago. There's no 'set' timeframe for renewal/saving efforts -- it can be two months, it can be two years, it can be even longer. Just look at Julie and the Phantoms, whose rights were just barely released by Netflix -- a long time coming (out of Netflix's own pettiness, to be sure), but that's 3 years after its cancellation. The wheels of TV grind slowly, but they do grind on.

As we stand, with having had multiple events with the cast/crew of Lockwood and Co, with Jonathan Stroud, and with more to come -- as well as the outward support of both Agents Stroud and the love CF has for the show, we see no reason to give up the fight. No news is definitely good news -- if there was no chance, they'd tell us flat-out -- and for the time being we're continuing on with the same fighting spirit and enthusiasm that we've had for a year.

Take breaks, take heart, and keep noticing the little things. We're here for encouragement and support whenever y'all need us!

#save lockwood and co #lockwood & co #lockwood and co #l&co #answer post

[broiamjustalilguy]

#and i don't want the world to see me #cause i don't think that they'd understand #when everything's made to be broken #i just want you to know who i am #(one of my longest lasting fave songs) #Spotify

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

Iris... is a bop...

#AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME #CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAND #WHEN EVERYTHING'S MEANT TO BE BROKEN I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM

[thepavementsings]

listening to iris by the googoo dolls thinking about the horrors of suzuka last year...

#aka pierre charles and trauma sorry #just together terrified in a hotel room cant shake the feeling cant face the door #And all I can taste is this moment #And all I can breathe is your life #And sooner or later #it's over #I just don't wanna miss you tonight #And I don't want the world to see me #'Cause I don't think that they'd understand #When everything's made to be broken #I just want you to know who I am #ok goodnight

[findyouthere]

Where is my Wilmon fanvid set to Goo Goo Doll’s “Iris” hmm? Hmm????

#Young Royals #Wilmon #Hmm??? #very Wille centric? but also v Simon #And I don't want the world to see me #‘Cause I don't think that they'd understand #bring back late ‘90s early ‘00 fanvid music choices

[conspiracyofequals]

category five iris by the goo goo dolls listening incident

#yelling #and i DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME! CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAND!

[adenctm]

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls is so Will Byers coded

#byler #will Byers #will byers deserves the world #AND I DONT WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAND #WHEN EVERYTHING MADE TO BE BROKEN I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM

[welcometogrouchland]

Decided to spontaneously watch three seasons of Craig of the Creek in like. A couple days and the first thing I'll say is it's a very good show. The second thing I'll say is that Craig Williams could defeat the Collector in 2 minutes of screentime if he were there

#ramblings of a lunatic #toh #uh. do i tag cotc??? idk if it has an active fandom or anything #it's target demographic skews decently young after all #eh the series name is in the post itself. if it wants to show up in search it will #anyway maybe less Craig specifically and more the stump/creek kids in general. they'd simply understand it #cotc was meant to be a ''put on in the bg while I'm working'' show. then i got too tired to work for multiple weeks (I'm in hell!) #and it ended up with my undivided attention somehow #anyway it's really good. I'm bitter cause the pirating sites i was using didn't have the capture the flag arc #and i had to go to an Extra buggy site to find em #but hey now season 4 time! wee #I think omar becomes a main member of the stump kids in s4?? if so I'm excited for that. i love you green poncho #anyway i have an art exam tomorrow and I'm just not preparing for it at all (besides buying hot coco and milk for us all hdbdjfj) #partly bc I don't need to. but also i do not think i would even if i had to yknow? #that's where i am rn. hedonistically drifting through life. while still somehow being anxious. like a frog on a lilypad

[disorderly]

Everything is triggering again

#I wish it was more obvious to my grandpa when I'm in a bad mood and don't wanna be talked at #like he's super sweet but all he talks about are his own interests really and things I don't quite understand #because I'm not from their generation #but I feel like showing my grandparents that I'm in a very negative attitudy mood blatantly would end ....not badly #but at least at home I was allowed to be snippy and pissy because it just suited the general demeanor of my parents #and I guess one thing about that dynamic that while sucked ass is if we got into an argument #I could start saying the meanest shit in return to my dad cause he was saying it back to me and we just. #pretended we didn't just tell one another to rot in hell and that they'd be better off dead on the side of the street #don't want a dynamic like that AGAIN...but at least it gave me a valid reason to be straight up pissy #if I had any sort of attitude here I DO think I'd be stared at and feel like an overall outcast // villian suddenly #but here...idk my grandma would probably understand but I'd be stared at...it'd be awkward....she'd probably IDEK #being moody and having a huge attitude doesn't fit in with people who are pretty... neutral #my grandma only seems to have attitude when she's joking about things and she never airs on the getting pissy EVER #vent

[sybilhallward]

just got told my grandparents' cat has cancer (maybe two separate tumors! what luck!) and all we can do is make his last days pleasant so now I'm blasting iris by the goo goo dolls in my earphones and trying not to cry on a train

#i've done it already #vane blogging #he might live months at most #and i don't want the world to see me 'cause i don't think that they'd understand

[queernobi]

Saw a post from a trans man about transmasculinity which I agreed with at first glance, but then it said something like, "maybe the reason why so many trans men are transmeds is because YOU (referring to non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems) keep kicking us out of other spaces!" and this tweet had a LOT of positive notes and reblogs from other transmascs who agreed with OP.

As a transmasc myself, I really, REALLY need other transmascs to understand a few things:

1) There's literally no verifiable evidence that other transmascs are disproportionately more likely to be bigoted, not even specifically bigoted in the sense that they are transmedicalist. If you are a transmasc and you accept this assertion at face value, then you have either only ever spent time with the shittiest transmasc groups ever (which, to be fair, I used to be in that position, so relatable), or you yourself have troubling attitudes that need to be examined.

2) While I cannot presume to speak for all transmascs, the transmasc folk that I know have only ever been kicked out of communities with other transmascs, usually because those transmascs had shitty attitudes, and *even then* it's happened very, VERY rarely. If you genuinely have a problem connecting with any trans person who isn't transmasc to such an extent that you cannot stay in a group with them for that long, then I'm sorry to say, I have a hard time believing the problem is with those other trans folk.

3) No, and I can't believe I have to say this, being ousted from a group--even for unjustified reasons--is not an excuse to espouse bigotry (and transmedicalism is bigotry). It does not make you sympathetic, or sad, or relatable, or justified, *it just makes you a fucking asshole.*

I don't want to presume too much, but the most generous reading I can take from these sorts of takes (which I want to insist can very well just be me reading way too much into it!) is that many of these transmasculine folk have never really had a lot of spaces or community with other transmascs, which isn't inherently bad (or even their fault, really), but does make it difficult to talk about actual issues transmascs face. I'd like to be able to discuss specific issues transmascs face, and even discuss how difficult it can sometimes be to get other non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems to understand and recognize those issues, without having to cosign dangerous, harmful, and FALSE assertions that no transmasc person ever feels comfortable around non-transmasc trans folk (especially transfems). You are absolutely projecting your own issues and biases there, and as a transmasc myself, I want absolutely no part of that shit.

#transphobia #trans #transgender #transmasc #ftm #i'm sure this will be used to suggest i don't truly understand transmasc issues #but when i was first coming out and trying to find community with other transmascs #i encountered the worst kinds of transmascs who were transmed and incredibly transmisogynist #not to mention extremely judgmental of any deviation from what they assumed was typical masculine behavior #while i'm fortunate to be in an area with a lot of other queer folk #the experience prevented me from wanting to associate with other transmascs irl for a while #i mostly associated with transfems #i don't think i even talked to other transmascs irl until a couple years later #because i was so worried they'd be like the groups i knew online #lo and behold they were nothing like that #most of the transmascs i've met both irl and online since continue to be nothing like those people #i really need other transmascs to understand that this sort of shit hurts not only transfems and non-transmasc nbs #but also other transmascs as well #it makes these communities extremely toxic to be a part of and can cause transmascs to intentionally distance themselves #not just from the specific community but from other transmascs all together #we are already so isolated i am begging y'all to not do this shit

[holyviolence]

my dad watching a youtube video analyzing the music technicality of Iris by the goo goo dolls and i am in the next room staring at the ceiling.

#and i don't want the world to see me....... cause i don't think that they'd understand............

[ishouldsleepbut]

me: nah, it's about coming out

source of images: https://americansongwriter.com/the-meaning-behind-goo-goo-dolls-iris-song-lyrics/

#veero rambles #nonbinary #the goo goo dolls #iris by the goo goo dolls #coming out #queer #i'm sure this is a lukewarm take at best #but come on #“and i don't want the world to see me” #“cause i don't think that they'd understand” #<- you can't tell me that's not a somewhat closeted thought #i'll write an essay on it later

[medicinemane]

.

#I don't think I really have the energy to flesh out this post and I've got even less to deal with people twisting my words #so we get a tag post instead of a post; but I really wish american leftists would study what's going on in Ukraine #not just cause more support would be good; but because I see a lot of parallels in behavior between SJ movements and Ukrainian activism #I think there's some real lessons that could be learned if they engaged and paid attention #what lessons? come back with a warrant #I honestly fucking refuse to elaborate cause I don't trust people enough to listen and understand what I'm saying #I can't say anything without saying too much; and I don't feel like tipping my hand even slightly #I just think that the american left might learn some lessons about how they do stuff if they looked at Ukraine #and maybe they'd want to change up how they did stuff to be more effective #but then again I doubt they'd get the point I'm hoping to hammer home #all that aside... every day I keep any ear to the ground about Ukraine #everyday I hope for miracles but prepare to keep ridding along doing the little I can; in it till every inch of land is returned #I know this post gives like zero info; and like I said; there's reasons for that #you really really want to know; you can probably ask me and I'll consider telling you #though I may not; who knows #don't think I have any Ukrainians following me; so probably not relevant #do have american leftists following me; and really rather than explaining I'll just say follow some Ukrainians for a couple months #come talk with me then and we'll see if we can figure out any lessons that might make US movements better

[stinkbeck]

keep trying 2 write this fucking novel but i just stare at it being like "i'm wasting my time on this earth sitting here trying to put my heart and soul on a document people will rip to shreds instead of hanging out with my brother and my parents and my aunt and my friends."

#like yeah it's cool. it's a great set of ideas. if i gave any shit at all about anything but the people that i love i'd feel a compulsion to #write it all down immediately. but i'm tired. not to be fucking goo goo dolls but i don't want the world to see me! cause i don't think #that they'd understand!