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yume-x-hanabi · 4 years

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Family - Chapter 4

Translation of chapter 4 of the short story from the ToX2 scenario book. (See here for other chapters.)

As if possessed, Julius lost himself to the theater of massacre and destruction he called a job.

He jumped into fractured dimensions, using both the brass and silver watches to achieve three-quarter chromatus. He dropped the fake glasses, and looked upon fractured dimensions with his own two eyes.

He provoked the police to cause panic through the city, and infiltrated military bases to slaughter soldiers. Even when he found the catalyst, he didn’t stop the violence until he was satisfied.

Every time he grasped his twin blades, Julius wondered. How much blood had these blades absorbed? How many lives had they taken? How many dreams had they stolen? How many dimensions had they destroyed?

Eyes full of despair and hatred were directed at him without respite.

Those people were the ones whose body was torn apart, but at the same time, the sharp blades hacked at Julius’ heart.

…I lost weight.

That’s what Julius thought one day while looking at himself in the mirror after destroying a catalyst.

Since the day he burnt his hand, the stove was never lit once. Ludger got his three meals a day thanks to catering services and his school’s cafeteria, but Julius often skipped meals. He wasn’t hungry. Roasted meat and juicy tomatoes reminded him of the bloodbaths in fractured dimensions.

“Gods of death only eat souls, don’t they?” He chuckled to himself.

When he was truly hungry, he washed down nutrients with water.

“Right… That’s why he…”

Every time they crossed paths, Ludger looked at him as if he wanted to say something. Now Julius understood: he must have wanted to comment on his weight loss.

Recalling his brother’s innocent eyes, Julius bit his lip.

Julius had taken Ludger in out of guilt for killing his mother, and despite being in his early teens himself, used the money he earned at his job to make sure he wanted for nothing. And even if they were born from different mothers, they were still related by blood, so Julius did have some affection for his little brother.

But deep down, that wasn’t the reason. What Julius wanted was not a brother, but the brass pocketwatch he had.

At eleven, Julius achieved half chromatus and destroyed seven fractured dimensions. That talent came with high expectations. However, no matter how hard he trained or gained experience, his abilities were not able to go beyond the wall of “half”.

Despite that, when he came back from destroying a dimension, other employees sang his praises, because he was the president’s son. But when he thought about it, his father Bisley was never among those who congratulated him.

Then, he realized the reason why his father had a child with Claudia.

His father had long understood the limits of Julius’ abilities. That was why he decided to have another, more talented child. For his ambition. Julius’ mother Cornelia was already gone from this world, but her blood sister was just there within reach.

Julius had no proof, but he was sure that was how that man operated. And Claudia must have felt that as well.

As Bisley planned, Claudia got pregnant with Ludger, but she disappeared without telling anyone. It was not hard to imagine that she wanted to spare her child the heavy burden of those born with the chromatus ability.

Julius did not know why Bisley never pursued her, but it was obvious that she feared being found by Spirius and the Kresnik clan, which both held tremendous power. That was why she mistook Julius as a pursuer when he met her by chance. She believed that he had come to steal her child and his brass pocketwatch.

As a result, the mother died, but ironically, the son did not fall into Bisley’s hands thanks to that very pocketwatch—because Julius decided to take it for himself in order to increase his power. For that to be possible, he had to hide his brother’s existence from Bisley.

Julius knew that the watch would remain even if he killed Ludger. The reason he did not was atonement to the woman who once waited for him with a warm meal, as well as the trust he felt coming from his terrified brother who had just lost both his mother and his memory, and who was now as alone as himself.

Two years passed. Ludger still looked up to him with the same admiration in his eyes.

When Ludger greeted his brother when he came home, he always wore the same worried expression.

…Just how soft-hearted are you?

Julius felt eyes in his back as he retreated to his bedroom without a word as usual.

“Julius…” Ludger tried.

Julius stopped. “What?”

“I… I need money.”

Ludger had never asked for an allowance. Julius had no idea what he wanted, nor what he was planning to buy. Despite this, he took out the envelope containing his salary that he had just received earlier and threw it at Ludger. It was full of bills.

That was was more than enough for a seven years old.

“Don’t waste it on junk.”

“…Thanks.”

Julius took off his coat and his suspenders and threw them on the floor, before flinging himself on the bed.

His eyes fixed on the ceiling, he recalled the previous conversation.

“Don’t waste it, huh?”

Now that he thought about it, didn’t Bisley say the exact same thing once when Julius begged him for money?

Julius wondered what he had wanted back then.

He wanted to become like his father, wanted his father to praise him, loved his father more than anything… Oh, right, that day, he’d wanted money to buy him a birthday present. He remembered how he’d done his best to hide his excitement so as not to ruin the surprise. But Bisley didn’t feel anything about his son. He’d simply given him the money, like Julius had just done with Ludger. Even then…

“Buying a present for someone with the money you’ve just begged from them makes no sense.”

Julius realized he was smiling when a chuckle left his lips. What was that present again? What was Bisley’s expression when he opened it? Julius raked his brain, but he couldn’t remember. Why now…

Julius closed his eyes, and the image of his father disappeared into the darkness.

A few days later, Julius noticed that Ludger was wearing a glove on his left hand. It was brand new, and black. Very similar to the one Julius was wearing.

“What’s that?”

Ludger replied hesitantly, “I though yours was cool, so… I wanted to imitate you. What do you think? Does it suit me?”

His brother’s earnest eyes pierced through Julius’ heart painfully. “…You… You want to imitate me!?” he yelled, grabbing his collar. Blood drained from Ludger’s face from his brother’s sudden outburst. “I… I…”

…I’m only using you.

“I’m sorry, Julius… But I…”

Seeing his brother cowering in fear like the day he had overturned the pot, Julius clucked his tongue and hurriedly released his grip.

In the glacial room, the telephone rang. Julius picked up the receiver slowly.

“Good morning, Julius. A new fractured dimension has been identified.” The support agent’s voice was so cheerful it was irritating.

#tales of xillia 2 #julius will kresnik #ludger will kresnik #yume translations #kresnik family

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kikaromi · 4 years

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AU Rambling -- The Struggles with Trust

One of my favorite things about my FE:Fates AU is exploring Ludger’s central conflict: trusting in others, particularly the Nohr Royal Family.

So the framing is as follows: as part of conditioning the other Kresnik Clan members into martyrs against the Kingdom of Nohr, no members outside those hand-picked by Bisley are allowed to leave the village. This avoids giving those who aren’t completely loyal chances to sympathize with those outside the clan, which could later plant a seed of doubt in their actions come their future invasion. Ludger, the naturally kind-hearted boy, is of course not one of those people. Thus, as Ludger escapes the village by himself, he’s left in a world he barely knows, tasked to find people who’ll help him rescue his brother.

Who may those people be? There’s two options: Hoshido or Nohr.

The first thought would be the peace-loving Hoshidans, but there’s an immediate problem: his situation’s circumstances. It’s hard not to suspect a stranger who hails from seemingly nowhere asking you to come help him with a problem within enemy territory. And it gets worse-- helping Ludger would mean following him up into his secluded mountain village into what’s almost guaranteed to be a trap, as Bisley knows Ludger’s going to come back eventually to rescue Julius. Anyone with sense would conclude Ludger was intentionally trying to lead his country’s enemies into a trap for the Kingdom of Nohr’s sake.

Plus the opposite could be true too-- maybe the Hoshidans would only go with him to kill a future cog in the ongoing war. Ludger would finally be with his brother again, only to get them both killed because of his naivete. Asking for their help isn’t an option. The next option would be the Nohrians, but that’s a no-go as well.

Though Ludger now knows Bisley’s stories of the Nohr Royal Family being vile, untrustworthy monsters were just to mold the other members of the Kresnik Clan to feel no reservations killing his conquest’s enemies, that doesn’t change that all his life, he’s been taught the Nohr Royal Family are his enemies. And he can’t entirely shake off that stigma through the power of will alone; it doesn’t help either that the current king at the time, King Garon, falls pretty in-line with what he’s been taught.

But to his good fortune, a third option does exist. Ludger hears of Corrin’s forces, who purportedly has Hoshidans and Nohrians fighting together as comrades. It sounds perfect... until he finds out the entire Nohrian Royal Family (excluding Garon) is among the forces. And they call Corrin their sibling, meaning the leader is also part of the Nohrian Royal Family. It creates an ultimatum: does he put his faith in these supposed “monsters” to save his brother, or does he let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity go? Ludger chooses the former, yet his reluctance keeps him from telling the group why he’s interested in joining their fight. He lies and says, “I want to see an age where all Nohrians and Hoshidans can call each other comrades.”

The cycle of distrust sadly doesn’t show signs of stopping after he joins. Ludger has a hard time sleeping in the camp for the first few weeks in fear someone’ll think him a traitor and kill him, and he refuses to so much at look any of the royal siblings (bar Corrin as they’re his commander) because being near them reignites his worries of what Bisley might be doing to his sibling. This behavior makes Ludger come off as incredibly sketchy, rightfully so, thus Ludger isn’t afforded much trust in return.

Corrin’s faith in Ludger does allow him to eventually invite them out to a late night picnic where he admits the real reason he wanted to join the army: he was looking for someone to help him rescue his older brother, Julius. He’d kept his intentions secret until now because he couldn’t expect people to risk their lives for what might be a pointless suicide mission when he can’t even trust them first. In that vein, he asks Corrin not to tell anyone about his brother-- he promises he’ll tell them when he feels ready. Corrin goes along with it.

Finally spilling his heart out does encourage Ludger to start putting his faith in the other members of the camp. He starts talking more about himself (where before, he restricted that information to near nothing), mentions his brother, and generally tries to include himself in the conversation. But he’s still got a sour point in the Nohr siblings, finding it near impossible to get a word in without wanting to abort the conversation. Not because they seem like bad people--he think them to be kind souls--he just can’t shake that small voice in his head telling him not to associate with his “enemies”.

Once he feels comfortable enough, Ludger blurts out during a strategy meeting that he needs everyone’s help to rescue his brother from Bisley back in their hometown deep within the mountains. Corrin naturally agrees to aid Ludger’s plea and Ludger storms the Kresnik clan in full confidence. Ludger goes on ahead to search the houses, finds his brother, and escorts him to safety. Julius needs time to recover (he’s not eaten a proper meal since Ludger left and his wounds need medical treatment), but he’s quick to congratulate Ludger for finding comrades who've loved and trusted him in his absence. Ludger agrees.

His burdens lifted, Ludger recognizes he’s got a real apology to give Xander, Camilla, Leo, and Elise. He apologizes for avoiding them and refusing to trust them up until they’ve done him a great favor, and he’s going to try extremely hard to treat them properly from now on.

#rpm;; Ludger #b;; ofstarsandskies #rpau;; FE:Fates #[Probs gonna tighten this up and put it on the main.]#[Cause relevant to the AU.]#[Buuut this was a bit too rambly for that. lol]

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emblemevents-newyear · 5 years

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Set 2: Fate’s Blade vs. REBELations

“How are you faring, everyone? It was certainly an interesting last battle, wasn’t it? Really put the ‘Panic’ in ‘Pirate Panic’...Now let’s hope this upcoming face-off doesn’t have as much friendly fire. Without further ado, let’s get on with...”

FATE’S BLADE VS. REBELATIONS

“All to arms...On your marks, get set...go!”

“Everyone starts to ready their cannons -- but Cordelia just can’t seem to get it right! She manages to wheel the cannon in a direction away from Captain Ron as she fires, but -- First Mate Azura happens to be figuring out how to work the cannons with Ophelia, and she doesn’t even notice as Cordelia lets fly! Poor Azura just took a hit to the head...I hope she’s alright. Seems like we’re off to a rough start, Fate’s Blade...”

“REBELations, on the other hand, isn’t so hasty. Rinea is encouraging her teammates while Kathryn scrambles up to the Crow’s Nest to provide lookout. Kamui is the first one to fire off a shot, and it smacks Captain Ron in the torso! (+3 to REBEL) Peri waves energetically in First Mate Yuki’s direction, but he responds by sniping her in the head! (Peri [FB] eliminated, +5 to REBEL) There’s no such thing as 'friendly competition’ on this battlefield, it seems. REBELations, I applaud your accuracy, but -- ”

“Er, hold on! Noire has a very strange expression on her face as she slowly points her cannon towards Tharja -- come on, you’re on the same team! Oh, thank the gods, Noire flashes her dirty look back towards REBELations instead, and hits Dimitri in the head with some deadly accuracy. (Dimitri [REBEL] eliminated, +5 to FB) It shouldn’t need to be said, but -- if you have some in-team problems, everyone, please settle your scores outside our...battlefield.”

“Anyway...First Mate Azura lands a shot on Claire’s leg! (+1 to FB) And Robin manages to just duck out of the way of Cordelia’s misfire. Captain Ron, on the other hand, isn’t so lucky, as Aidan accidentally fires a cannonball at his captain’s torso. Admist the chaos, First Mate Yuki rattles off shots like he’s a natural! There’s one to the back of Ophelia’s torso! And another to Noire’s! Gods, he’s really on a roll! (Ophelia [FB] and Noire [FB] eliminated! +6 to REBEL) Fate’s Blade, you’ve got to step up your game...”

“Now, Tharja’s got a rather devious look. She seems to be aiming at Felicia while she fumbles with readying the cannon...Felicia can barely see it coming! Tharja lets fly, and -- “

“Rin dives in at the last moment to take the hit instead! (Rin [REBEL] eliminated! +3 to FB) What a noble and chivalrous sacrifice...Felicia is saved, but let’s hope it works out for them!”

“Unfortunately, I’m seeing quite a bit of misfires...Kamui narrowly misses his own teammate and hits the enemy hull instead. Cynthia ducks out of the way of Ludger’s shot, and Kathryn manages to rush to turn A -- Zuzu’s cannon before it hits either of them. I see Robin and First Mate Yuki are preparing to fire, but their reloads are rather clumsy, I hope they can time that right! They’re just about to turn their weapon towards the other, but their cannons fire off all too early! (Robin [FB] and First Mate Yuki [REBEL] eliminated) That’s a self-knockout for both of them! Seems Yuki got a bit too confident there and met his own end, huh?”

“Felicia is trying to aim her cannon properly after some awkward loads, but she’s not fast enough! Cynthia triumphantly nails Felicia in the torso! Sorry, Rin and Felicia -- that’s an out, and points for Fate’s Blade! (Felicia [REBEL] eliminated, +3 to FB) Rather than retaliate immediately, Camilla and Captain Megan are heading up to the Crow’s Nest for a better look at everything, shortly followed by Ludger and Zuzu, while the rest of REBELations focuses on reloading -- at least, until Kamui accidentally fires off a shot towards Rinea’s torso! (Rinea [REBEL] eliminated) I think REBELations is getting a bit antsy...Fate’s Blade, this may be a chance for you to gain a lead!”

“A set of arm hits fired between Aidan and Camilla send Ludger and Captain Megan scrambling back down from the Crow’s Nest! (+1 to FB, +1 to REBEL) Seems they’re still on edge -- Ludger’s shot blows right through the enemy mast, and Captain Megan’s loaded a bunch of ammo into the cannon, but she’s having trouble with her aim! Oh no -- watch out, REBELations! That’s the wrong direction!”

“Er...that was an awkward ricochet. Claire and Zuzu don’t look so good after being on the wrong end of Megan’s cannon fire... Sorry, you guys are out too! (Claire [REBEL] and Zuzu [REBEL] eliminated) I suppose it’s marginally better than being taken down by the enemy team... Well, take a rest for now, alright?”

“Back to the barrage! Tharja gets a hit on Kamui’s leg! (+1 to FB) Cordelia seems to try to follow Tharja’s lead this time, after her rough start, but she just can’t seem to get the timing right! The cannon spins right back all too soon, catching Cordelia in the torso -- That’s another out! (Cordelia [FB] eliminated) We’ve got quite a bit of self-destruction today, don’t we...?”

“Now everyone is getting ready for another round of blows! While Tharja runs up to scout and Cynthia seems to be having fun with some theatrics, Aidan fires his cannon and lands a nice clean shot on Ludger -- good one! (Ludger [REBEL] eliminated, +3 to FB) Captain Megan seems eager to retaliate, but she shouldn’t be so hasty -- the cannon fires before she can turn it back towards the enemy ship, and poor Kathryn’s torso becomes the victim! (Kathryn [REBEL] eliminated) REBELations’ captain is certainly trigger-happy...but so far all these eliminations have been for her own teammates!”

“After that round, I think most people are ready for a break -- Captain Megan lays low this time, as well as Tharja. But Aidan’s not letting up; he’s loading a cannon and waiting for the right moment... As soon as Kamui stands up to go reload a cannon, Aidan goes right for it!”

“Like a warning shot -- “

“ -- into his head.”

“Ouch. It was a good shot, though...” (Kamui [REBEL] eliminated, +5 to FB)

“Camilla doesn’t look too happy about it, though; I think there’s some murderous intent in her as she hurries to reload and aim, but she’s just off! There the cannonball goes...right off her torso. Sorry, Camilla!” (Camilla [REBEL] eliminated)

“And with that, we’re down to just Captain Megan for REBELations, against quite a bit more on Fate’s Blade! How long can she last, I wonder? After one of her shots hits the ships’ mast, it seems that she’s fleeing in the direction of the Crow’s Nest for safety...She’s got a lucky break, as First Mate Azura and Cynthia bump into each other trying to rush towards the cannons, but Aidan’s trying to aim for the captain as she runs! But be careful, since if you turn the cannon too much, you might just -- "

“ -- hit yourself in the torso like that. Aidan puts an end to his own pirate career, but at least he still has other teammates to fire Captain Megan down!” (Aidan [FB] eliminated)

“Unfortunately, First Mate Azura and Cynthia collide again as Captain Megan scurries back down from the Crow’s Nest. However, Tharja manages to hit Megan’s foot with a cannonball! (+2 to FB) Afterwards, she seems just to watch as Megan loads her own cannon...But they exchange blows on the arm! (+1 to FB, +1 to REBEL) They might be cutting it close, but Megan’s hanging in there!”

“Azura and Cynthia really need to fix their rhythm, though...I think they could’ve ended this chase quite a bit earlier otherwise. Captain Megan runs towards the Crow’s Nest again, stalling for time, while Tharja and Cynthia follow her movements...I sense a plot brewing...”

“Tharja, however, is busy leaping out of the way of Azura’s misfire, which dives straight towards the enemy ship’s hull. Megan takes the moment to try and get back down to the cannons, maybe to take advantage of the moment, but there’s one team member she doesn’t account for! That’s right, and she’s been waiting...”

“And she fires! Cynthia's got her groove and hits her target perfectly -- Megan’s head! The Captain is down -- I repeat, the Captain is down!” (Captain Megan [REBEL] eliminated, +5 to FB)

“Now, that was one final standoff, but Megan could only run for so long! Congratulations to Fate’s Blade members Tharja, Cynthia, and Azura for being the last ones standing -- take a good break while we tally up these points, alright?”

Fate’s Blade: 30 + 5 = 35 points! MVP: Sailor Aidan

REBELations: 16 points! MVP: First Mate Yuki

“Well, although Fate’s Blade had a rough beginning, they really caught up in the end, didn’t they? Don’t worry -- there’s still a chance to make these points up in the other matches! Why don’t you all rest a moment, and come back even more ready for the next ones?”

(( Simulation screencaps are under the cut: ))

#Mod Lyn #season segue ;; summer solstice #pirate panic ;; summer solstice

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incorrecttalesquotes · 6 years

Conversation

Gaius: Final question: You have a dinner date for 7. What time do you arrive?

Ludger: 7. AM. Case the restaurant. Run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill ‘im. Dispose of the body, replace with my own guy, no later than 4:30.

Gaius: …You’re ready!

Ludger: R-really?

Gaius: No. Everything you just said was insane, and we are out of time. Congratulations, you are a failure.

#tales of xillia 2 #Ludger Will Kresnik #gaius #gaius (ToX)#ToX2 #submission #original: team fortress 2 #queued

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dimensionslip · 6 years

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Super Quick Tales of Sale

Doujin can badges (Lloyd x2, Cress, Yuri) - $2/ea (Cress = $1)

Ion-sama, doushimashita? (Ion x Anise / A5 / 100p) with Ion can badge + novelty postcard - $15

Can badges (Asbel and Sophie) - $8/set

Tales of Orchestra Cafe A6 Clear File (Edna/Zaveid) - $5 (slightly bent, though currently being flattened between two books to restore its shape)

Tales of Series Dress Up Clear Charm (Yuri, Velvet) - $10/ea

Tales of Asteria x The Idolmaster SideM Acrylic Keychain (Cress) - $6

Tales of Link x Idolish7 Can Badge (Eizen) - $5

Tales of Zestiria the X Rubber Straps (Sorey, Eizen) - $10/ea

Tales of Zestiria Rubber Strap (Lailah) - $4

Tales of Friends Rubber Strap (Milla) - $6

“Tales of” Series Ranking Congratulations! Can Badges ~ Popularity Poll 2017 ~ (Ludger, Luke, Asbel, Lloyd) - $10/ea

Tales of Asteria Acrylic Keyholder (Judas) - $5

This is very quick because I’m targeting to ship out things on February 28, so payment on or before the 27th of February would be highly appreciated.

I’m still selling the stuff that aren’t crossed out! But at the moment, my next shipping date is still undecided.

I accept payments through Paypal only. All prices are in USD and do not include shipping (EMS/SAL small packet) and other fees (i.e. PayPal’s fixed withdrawal fee). For reference, all items will be shipping out from Japan.

Also due to time constraints, I will only be providing untracked and uninsured shipping for this round of sales (unless the purchase amount goes over $50). Sorry about that!

If you are interested in buying any of the above and/or have further inquiries, please send an email to kaylee.ishtar (at) gmail (dot) com. Thank you!

#tales of the abyss #tales of symphonia #tales of vesperia #tales of xillia 2 #tales of berseria #tales of zestiria #tales of destiny 2 #tales of xillia #tales of #archived sales post

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haitianbusinesses · 6 years

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🇭🇹 HAITIAN EXCELLENCE🇭🇹 . Congratulations to Ludger Menard on being featured on @lvmagazine Repost from @mr_mednard : Thank you to @___lavern___ and her team @lvmagazine for this feature, I am extremely humbled..! You and your team are amazing and super talented; continue to strive! .................................................................... Special thanks to: @be_pr @paragonimagestudio The amazing team @haitiabc All the HaitiABC’s supporters 🙏🏾 . . To read the full interview and more inspiring interviews, please go to lvmagazine.net #HaitianBusinesses #HaitianExcellence #Haitian #Professional #Entrepreneur

#haitianexcellence #haitian #haitianbusinesses #professional #entrepreneur

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3one3 · 7 years

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The Sequel - 817

Omaha

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

“This show really blows. They need to stop letting the Americans bid for things. Did Schü call? I wish I had taken my phone with me. It was so boring over there. I could have done with some tunes,” Christina remarked resentfully as she kicked off her stirrups and slid down to the ground from her tall and rotund Hanoverian stallion. Nick seemed to be enjoying the reclamation of his place in her competition rotation after the intermediate-length absence from the circuit. He was a happy boy when he landed in Omaha, as if he hadn’t just spent 11 hours in a box on a plane. Rio, his traveling companion, was always thrilled to be getting off a plane, but his happiness was usually heavily made up of relief and not much excitement. Christina and Tom could tell the difference. Nick was perky and affectionate right away. Rio acted as if stress was melting away. He never flew particularly well, and a trip that long was hard on him. Nevertheless, the Brazilian bred warmblood was sitting in second place in the World Cup Final after the first round on Thursday night, and was calm and relaxed in his stall with plenty of hay and his favorite stuffed animal on Friday afternoon when his rider returned Nick to Tom after a brief hack. Nick only had one competitive event the entire week, and it was Saturday, so Christina took him over to the schooling ring to stretch his legs that afternoon before the dressage final started.

The only two redeeming qualities about the horse show venue in Nebraska were the ambient temperature inside, and the food. It was warm enough to ride in a long-sleeve top without additional layers, which was why she didn’t have her phone with her, and there was a vendor right in the convention center part of the facility with standard Midwest-ernized German food. Many Americans in the Midwest fancy themselves the children of generations of German immigrants, whether they really are or not. As a consequence, lots of flyover territory is full of vaguely German restaurants with food that sort of nods at authentic cuisine but definitely Americanizes it. An American bratwurst is nothing like one at Signal Iduna Park, for example, but Christina loved both kinds. She loved the potato pancakes that were closer to a McDonald’s hashbrown than her dad’s kartoffelpuffer. Tom looked like he’d had too many of them when she handed over Nick’s double set of reins. She furrowed her brows at him, silently inviting an explanation for the positively perturbed look on his face. He exchanged her iPhone for the reins.

“I think there is some bad news,” he replied, apologetic. Oh no, his rider thought. Is he not going to play? She was eagerly waiting to hear from André about whether or not he was fit enough to be in the team for the match against Schalke on Saturday. Obviously everyone wanted to play in the Revierderby. He really, really wanted to play because he scored two goals for Germany the weekend before and thought he could carry some momentum over. His wife was rooting for him. Unfortunately he was also carrying over a painful knock sustained early in that match, and hadn’t been able to train with his club again yet. She thumbed the Home button and quickly scanned the variety of notifications on the screen, expecting Tom to provide an explanation for his response. He was supposed to answer if André called.

“Oh no.” Her own response was more grave than the disappointed version of the one she said in her head a few seconds earlier. “Juan Mata could be out for the rest of the season? What? What the hell?” She swiped urgently at the Bleacher Report notification to find out what was going on, and tried to deduce it while the news article loaded. What could have possibly happened to him in training today that he’s already diagnosed and going to be out forever? Did someone break his leg or something? What the hell.

“Did he call you or anything?” her new stable manager questioned. He was already trying to get the big warmblood into his grooming stall so he could untack him and put him away. He knew her more than well enough to know that she would be very upset for the Spaniard if he were really going to miss the rest of the season, and he knew her more than well enough to know that a serious injury to the player likely would have come up as a talking point between them if she knew about it. Christina told him nearly everything on her mind when they were alone on the road, especially when they were together so much. Almost none of her friends were in Omaha. She spent nearly all of her time hanging around the stalls, except for meals, which she sometimes shared with Marcus and Ludger instead since Tom was often working while she was free to eat.

“Bleacher Report says that he had groin surgery today. How? I just talked to him last night! It must be a mistake. I’m calling him.” She furiously but absently stroked Nick’s nose while she waited for her friend to pick up, and then growled aloud when she got his voicemail. “Is it tomorrow in the UK already or something?” she asked, forlorn. “Is it April Fool’s Day already? This can’t be right. Is it all over Twi-“ A text interrupted her rant and the loading of the Twitter app on her phone.

“I’ll call you soon,” Juan told her.

“He would have said it’s wrong and he’s fine if it were wrong and he’s fine. He just said he’d call me back. Maaaan. If he got hurt today he couldn’t possibly have the surgery today too, right? Nobody does that.”

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t think so. He didn’t say anything about an injury?”

“Not a word. We talked last night before I rode, and he texted me this morning to congratulate me.”

“Maybe he didn’t want to worry you. You are talking about someone who lied to you about Seven being put down the last time we were at one of these,” Tom pointed out. He too was guilty of keeping things from her so as to keep her plate clear, so to speak, but that hypocrisy didn’t seem to matter to him, or was outweighed by his longtime dislike of Christina’s relationship with the Chelsea man.

“Nothing from Schü though?” They can’t both be injured. Jeez.”

“Nope.”

“I’ll wait for Juan to call me back and then I’ll call him, so I don’t end up with both of them at the same time.” Shudder.

“Whatever. Take your helmet and your boots off and relax. There is nothing you can do for injured football players on another continent by worrying about them and staring at a phone.”

That is a reasonable point. I’ll go change, she thought before dropping a kiss on her pretty stallion’s nose and leaving him and his handler to their business. I have to put the watch that I won for this last year on anyway before I go to the autograph table. Bleh. I appreciate fans and all but this isn’t a sport for or funded by spectators, and I’m forever afraid I’m going to get sick because they all want to hug me and shit. Or I’ll get Lukas sick. These Midwestern American folk are all really huggy. I bet nobody tries to hug me in Mexico City. Oh! Phone!

“Dude, what’s going on?” she sputtered into Juan’s ear while simultaneously tripping over a lunge whip and her own foot.

“I had a bad pain in training some days ago, we decided the surgical option to fix it is best, and now I have a while to recover,” he explained like a father trying to reassure his very young daughter that yes, the dinosaurs did go extinct, but her stuffed one survived and is fine, and no, he doesn’t miss his extinct family. He sounded very calm. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to distract from what you’re doing there, and because I’m fine. I’m disappointed that I won’t play for a while, but I’m feeling okay and there is no need for you to worry, or try to come home, or be overwhelmed with sadness on my behalf.”

“But how long is a while?” Christina despaired.

“Three, four weeks.”

“Oh. Well, gosh. The Internet made it sound like an eternity! I’m so relieved, Juanin, you have no idea.” She released a long, pent up breath and plopped on her tack trunk. Heiner’s familiar whistle was audible somewhere up the aisle and she was glad to be on the phone because it meant he might not try to talk to her. The Germany boss had been annoying her all week with mini-interrogations about her life, her training, and why she was systematically severing ties with various advertisers. He’d been so hands-off with her throughout the winter that there was a gulf between her willingness to open up to him and his willingness to advise her. Even she knew he was asking the questions so that he could help her or guide her through if she was having some kind of problem that made her want to scale back her associations with brands. It was just difficult for her to do a heart to heart about it. The rider thought of all their broad-spectrum conversations as a process- as her warming up to being able to unload the full state of the union address on him, so to speak.

Tom overheard a lot of those talks, and he was encouraging her to let the chef know exactly what was going on with her, from her homesickness to her questions about Dirk’s form and fitness, and even her relationship struggles. The groom was even more intimately acquainted with her problems than in the past since he was with her every day instead of just at competitions. He was an observant creature, like Christina, and didn’t need to have things spelled out for him. She argued that it couldn’t possibly be wise to clue the team coach in on all of her problems a few months before he would sit down with Holger to make a final decision on the Olympic team, and Tom argued back that she needed to let go of the idea that Heiner was like a supervisor she needed to avoid while sneaking out early at the end of the day, or coming back from lunch 15 minutes late. He said she needed to stop treating him like an enemy that she had to negotiate with explicitly and with subtle diplomatic maneuvers in public. Tom said Heiner was there to help, and that he sought information so he could be most useful to his riders, not so that he could use it against them. Christina didn’t 100% believe that, but she accepted that it was mostly true. She’d been burned by the man before and didn’t think she needed to share everything with him when everything included information that would make it harder for him to pick her.

“It’s just a little thing, cariña,” Juan reiterated reassuringly. “Just a small hernia. Two weeks to rest, and then I can start a little training.”

“Okay,” Christina replied, her voice quiet and private. I want Heiner to realize I’m on the phone, but I don’t want him hearing what I’m saying, she thought. Private. Her eyes were on the curtain concealing her in the stall. “Who is taking care of you? Did your mom come? Is Paula there? Is someone bringing you juice and making you food?”

“Yes, my mom was here anyway, and she’s looking after me,” the player chuckled. “It was a routine thing- the surgeon does a few every day. I’m just resting and watching TV. Do you want to speak to her to verify that everything is fine?”

“No. I trust you. I was just scared. You didn’t tell me,” his friend complained. “I was more concerned for your heart than your health. I was worried you’d be so upset not getting to play forever,” she mumbled. Her own heart felt a little funny, as it always did when she recovered slowly from a shock or a scare, real or imagined.

“My heart is fine, my head is fine, and my abdominal wall is reinforced and extra fine! Don’t worry about anything. Focus on what you’re doing there.”

“I miss you,” she said even more quietly. He had to have surgery and the time out is terrible news even if it’s only three weeks, and he’s thinking of me and my needs and my head. He’s such a good person. And a better one than me. I’d be wanting him to come take care of me and talk me out of wallowing in woe. I would want him and Schü both to wait on- Hey, wait-

“I miss you too, but I’m free to watch all of your riding now. What time tonight?”

“Is Taylor there? She probably doesn’t want to watch show jumping...”

“She’s with friends in Manchester.”

“She didn’t come back? Did you tell her?”

“We don’t see so much of each other right now. I told her, yes, but I don’t need her here to watch me rest either.”

“Oh.”

“I can’t talk more about that right now, cariña,” the recovering Spaniard added, his voice quiet too. “Another time.”

“Okay...” Are they done? He never talks about her anymore, regardless of who is sitting next to him on the couch.

“What time tonight?”

“2 am.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Christina laughed, forgetting the question on her mind. Juan sounded so thrown off. “You’re excused. You don’t have to watch. If it’s a great round, I’ll send it to you in the morning.”

“I’ll call you back again before you ride, okay? I have a few other people to get back to now.”

“Okay. Call or text any time if you’re bored resting. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby girl. Talk to you later.”

I bet his mom or dad or Toni or somebody was coming and going from nearby during that conversation, she reckoned. He was all quiet and hiding some things but then not others. Whatever. At least he’s okay and he isn’t going to be out of commission for the rest of the season. Phew. Now, boots and helmet off, and-

“Chris!”

Here we go. Heiner joined her in the tack room stall to chat while she changed her footwear and brushed out her hair. He just wanted to discuss a person he’d just met- an American trainer who he thought she might know, or know of. Christina knew the man well enough to say hello and how are you, and she knew enough of him to be able to give a decent account of his reputation up until she lost touch with the East Coast show scene not long after she moved to London. By the time André called to catch up and tell her that he wasn’t going to be in the team for Saturday, his girl had to head to that solo autograph session for the FEI. The line to meet her was ridiculous, and it didn’t flatter her at all. It simply made her groan into the phone about how long it would take to sign that many programs and posters. He told her to call him back after if she could. He was having dinner with his friend Dominic, who he’d known for at least twice as many years as he knew her.

“It’s going to be between 3 and 4 in the morning that she rides,” he told this friend, whom he met at his hometown youth club. Dominic lived in nearby Düsseldorf, and provided a companion with which to do things when Christina wasn’t around. Usually there was a third member at their boys’ dinner, but the other friend was unavailable on Friday since he did still play lower league football and had a match coming up. “I don’t know if I should try to stay up or if I should go to sleep early and then try to wake up.”

“You’re not going to stay up,” Dominic replied, assured. He was an inch or so taller than André, and spent more time lifting weights and less time running like his life depended on it. He easily reached across the table to point down into the other German’s wine glass, as if to say that the wine was going to put him to sleep.

“I could call Mel and make her talk to me so I don’t fall asleep,” André countered.

“When is the baby expected?”

“Next week. She’s having trouble sleeping now. That’s why I know she’ll be up. Her husband is with her but he’s supposed to go to the same shows as Chris after this weekend. He’s even more senseless than she is. Why would you go overseas when your wife is about to give birth?”

“You have no idea what it’s like to be around a woman about to give birth,” Dominic chuckled. His long time girlfriend’s sister had three kids, and André talked to him about where to take children in the area for fun or interesting outings when he was alone with Lukas. Dominic and the girlfriend did a decent amount of kid-sitting, so he figured he’d know.

“I don’t think Chris was bad enough that I would want to go away if I didn’t have to. I talked to her every day on the phone. She was frustrated and whiny but not that much more than usual, and she definitely didn’t have sleep problems. All she did was sleep and watch TV when she was this close. And tell my mom to leave her alone. I still regret that I wasn’t with her during the last weeks, and when Lukas was born.”

“Don’t schedule the next one to come during a tournament, then.”

“I don’t know if there is a next one.” André lowered his eyes from the conversation and grasped his chopsticks with more intent than before. “I know Chris wants Lukas to have a sibling, and she’s said many times that she wants the brother or sister to be around the same age. I don’t see her putting her riding on hold again any time soon.” Or wanting to have another baby with me while she’s walking around not even sure that we’re going to be together in the future, the BVB player added more bleakly to himself. He thought things were really feeling better between them when he left for international duty. That was nearly two weeks in the past, however, and as usual, being apart left room for doubts and disappointment. Hearing about how much fun was had trying to fit as much of Berlin as possible into two days with Juan, for example, was a small blow to the confidence with which André left Christina. Her constant reiteration that she wished Daniel were in Omaha was another annoying detractor from the sense of progress. He kept reminding himself that those things didn’t have to matter, or mean anything. He knew his relationship with her could be just fine even when she was having lots of fun with Juan, so he knew he shouldn’t worry that her having a good time with the Spaniard and her being happy with her partner might be mutually exclusive. He knew there was nothing going on between his girl and her teammate, so he knew he shouldn’t be upset that she just wished her friend were at the World Cup too. It was just irritating to be away from her, and unable to observe her and glean whatever he could from her behavior and demeanor the way he’d been doing at home. Paying attention to her and moderating his own behavior and demeanor instinctively in response was really helping to stamp out the accidental fights and flashpoints.

“I thought you want at least two?”

“I do, but who knows,” André shrugged, hoping to change the subject. “Which country to do you think has the most restaurants in the top 10? The big list, that everyone respects.”

“The US?” Dominic guessed. His right eyebrow dipped to indicate his surprise at the turn in conversation. André was waving a tuna roll around between his chopsticks, but it wasn’t like they were eating at the world’s best Japanese restaurant and had been discussing food. After deciding what to order, nobody even mentioned food.

“Spain. Chris told me that today. She’s lining up a pitch to spend our summer holiday taking the boat around Spain and Portugal. I don’t think she has any idea how big Spain is,” the player smiled, more to himself than his friend. “She wants to go to San Sebastian, which is practically in France but on the top, and Estoril way over there. They have a competition there.”

“The restaurants?”

“No, the horses, in July right after the Confederations Cup. Does Lena ever just start randomly bringing up things about places you think she might want to go to, while pointing out reasons to be there? Like every couple of days?”

“No. She picks a holiday and tells me where we’re going.”

“Oh. Actually...Chris does that too, but she also does the hints, for...lots of things.”

“You talk about her a lot more lately.” Dominic’s observation was plain and lacking any indication about how he felt about the fact he was relaying. André knew the reason he was amidst his third Christina conversation of dinner was that thinking about her, and her very name, was no longer igniting rage and hurt in the pit of his stomach. His partner wasn’t stressing him out so much anymore. He was able to think of her randomly throughout the day and focus on a positive or at least neutral issue or context rather than just negative ones. That actually marked a huge change from the last time she went away. It meant his state of mind stayed generally more neutral or positive, in spite of his boo-boo keeping him out of team training and the matchday squad. André found that encouraging as he thought it over and finished his sushi.

“I love loving you,” he tapped out to send to Christina when the plate was empty. Loving her can be so hard. Right now it’s just nice, I think.

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