#dad put me on the moon

[snarfflarf]

Asking BG3 characters to pick you up pads: Round 2

#sorry these arent as good as the first set #ketherics is based off texts from my dad #for the record more than just women can get their period #orin believes abortion is murder (a pro choice icon!! :D) #i wanted to make orins all one word but it broke the website #i like to think that cazadors is an automated message #aylin spams moon emojis on literally everything she types #isobel refers to it as “moonposting” #the website wouldnt let me put read receipts for mystra #bgiii #bg3 #baldurs gate #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 ketheric #ketheric thorm #bg3 gortash #bg3 orin #orin the red #bg3 raphael #bg3 emperor #bg3 dream visitor #bg3 dream guardian #bg3 cazador #cazador szarr #bg3 lorroakan #bg3 isobel #bg3 dame aylin #bg3 aylin #bg3 nightsong

[moongothic]

...I... I do not know what on earth compelled me to make this nor why, but I will not be taking criticism at this time

#Moon posting #Break Week is rough y'all #Please I just needed to shitpost a little let me have this #OP Meta #I know this chart is incomprehensible you just have to accept it for what it is #No I was kind of thinking to myself it was kind of funny how of the OG Shichibukai half of them are either dads or borderline dads #And I was like. Can I make a chart of this. Can I make a Dad Chart of the Warlords. #I don't know why I made this nor what to do with this information but. Sure. Let me yeet this out. #Kuma is the Dadliest Dad to Ever Dad in One Piece. Moria canonically adopted Perona when she was little. We love the OG Goth Dad #Crocodad is real TO ME but if nothing else he does have the energy 100%. It's just short of Canon Confirmation at this point #Mihawk is a weird uncle to me. He has no dad energy. This man does not fuck. But he'll look after some kids (Zoro & Perona). Sure. #Blackbeard is like the opposite of Mihawk. He has never looked after a child but I'm sure he has spawned a bastard or two or three #(He may be a father but he is not a Dad) (But canonically as far as we know BB has no kids yet so I'm putting him in Not A Dad) #Jinbei is the new Token Father of the Strawhats according to Oda and so I'm putting him where he is based on that. Also vibes #Law's where he is kind of for similar reasons as Jinbei. This boy is too young to be a dad but dealing with Luffy gave him a few grey hairs #Doflamingo did arguably watch over Buffalo and Baby 5 as those two grew up so he's The Most Qualified in that square #Weevil is baby #Hancock could have Dad Energy in the right circumstances. Like she has THE POTENTIAL #Buggy does not fuck #...Thinking about it I probably should've switched Hancock and Buggy's placements on the chart but whatever it doesn't matter

[dramarants]

do ha going on a murderous rampage with no hesitation to the point of being prepared to off a child not even 24 hours into his marriage with his enemy and all to protect her is the most romantic heart fluttering swoon worthy deranged shit i've seen in a while ❤️

#i mean putting aside that offing the dad is honestly revenge enough - doha killed her family on his orders #and that it's literally not her fault doha's a fucking keeper who literally means ride or die lmao #but wow those scenes were incredible and gutwrenching ri ta recognizes the he's becoming what he despises #and kills him to not only prevent more bloodshed but to keep him from an empty existence of guilt shame and regret. ITS OUT OF HER LOVE 😭😭😭 #moon in the day #ranting #truly giving ttj a run for his money #off topic but this weekend i caught up with some old college friends and two of them were like 'between saving my family and 1000 ppl #ofc i'd save my family idc' and me and some others who overheard were like 👀 😳 💀 👁 👄 👁 #but anyway this just reminded me of that lmao

[hoperays-song]

Sing Parent Poll

We see a lot of parents in the Sing Universe, so it has to be asked, who’s your favourite?

#sing #sing 2 #i am biased towards Marcus here if that wasn’t obvious #but a lot of them are amazing parents and people #sing rosita #sing marcus #sing norman #sing nana noodleman #sing charley moon #sing eddie's parents #sing jimmy crystal #part of me wanted to put buster on here yes but i decided to go with only the confirmed parents #buster and clay are both obviously ash's dads #and mrs crawly is practically busters mom #but anyway #everyone vote! #*quietly gives them last names*

[reiningsoral]

experiencing totality was the Coolest Thing. they don't need to do anymore things

i can die happy

#it was so cool omg #not even exaggerating #probably was he coolest thing I've ever and will ever see #THERE WAS A SOLAR FLARE #IT WAS SO PRETTY #as soon as my dad gives me the pics I'll put them in here #moon #eclipse #solar eclipse

[apfelkvchen]

Deviser Podcast or as I like to call it: Moon (2009) but what if GERTY was evil?

#target audience: me #moon movie #moon 2009 #gerty 3000 #gerty3000 #deviser #deviser podcast #not 100% accurate but idc. the thought was funny. #i was listening to ep4: stars and it hit me #sam bell #duncan jokes #GERTY (affectionate) #Dad (derogatory) #something something men not being able to create life so they put themselves in god-like positions #frankenstein slaps #podcast meme #moon duncan hines #apple.txt #👁️ | podcast tag

[whoa-where-did-the-pancakes-go]

Omg I almost forgot. My awsome cousins are in town tomorrow.

#the two of them are some of my favorite family members #their mom. ehhh. last time she was here she tried to talk to me about her circle group thing #where she and a bunch of other ladies gather once a month to talk about the moon and womanly gifts and stuff #yeah hey im sure this teen girl would love that #no. no i would not. fuck the “womanly gifts” i do not want them #basically shes trying to get me to join her period celebration cis woman group. and shes talking about this- #- in front of my younger sisters and her amab kids. and my uncle. and dad. and also my mom. #respectfully shut the fuck up #okay maybe that wasnt the most recent time i saw her but it was a notable example of her character #anyway! my cousins are cool!! im exited to see them!! #this one time i helped the older one hide on a shelf and then i put the box back in front of them #we were playing hide and seek. it took my sisters and their younger brother like 15 minutes to find them #it was hilarious #the older one is almost exactly a year older than me and the younger is a day older than my youngest sister (8)

[minty-bubblegum]

nyaaaa uwu

#Me.when moon dad #Bro could make me his discord kitten in A FUCKING SECOND #I bouta put on the maid costume WITH the cat ears AND tail #And I'm gonna meow #And I'm gonna use uwu owo #And I'm gonna be a emotion freak (〃´𓎟`〃) #LIKE PLEASE ONE CHANCE BRO

[nevergoesout]

yesterday was pretty lovely actually . i do kinda wish i had enough friends in this city to have a little party or a picnic or something but i just don’t and that is ok ! slept in my boy brought me fresh warm croissants in bed with strawberry jam his mum made for me (♥️) and i opened cards and presents and then the man came to replace the washing machine !! which took a while bc lift is still out of order (6 or 7 months on lol) and then we went to subway for lunch (classy) and ate it on the harbourside and then got fancy ice cream and ate that in the park in the sun :•) then back home & jam baked me lemon drizzle cupcakes and we got stoned and made nachos for dinner :•)

#also read an entire 304pg book ! #alia #literally one friend in town atm and i feel bad doing things as a couple with a third wheel so didn’t wanna put her through that haha #but i think we’ll do something when our other friend is back soon :•) #probably just a pint but ! :•) #i got a stainless steel frying pan from my grandparents and a lid for it from mum ! #my boy got me a locket that looks like a little book and a half moon cutter thingy for herbs #my brother got me some fancy ass edibles that look very yum and he said like 1/4 of one will do you so they will last us for ages #and my other brother got me some french toast from tesco (??) #bc we make eggy bread together a lot when i’m home #i guess ? #haha #and a gift card from my other grandma:•) #and a weird guilt trippy text from my dad <3

[hobisexually]

x

#hi I am back with a long tag post about how I can’t keep up with life #very boring 30 year old stuff that I am struggling with very much and isn’t interesting to anyone #but I just put on my hobi playlist to feel better and instead sobbed so hard to just dance (which is a very happy song I don’t even enjoy) #that my pillow is soaked through so obviously sleep isn’t gonna happen until I get this out somewhere #so first. get this. one of my best and longest friends gets engaged and lets 1.5 months go by before she bothers to tell me #in front of four other friends who are decidedly less close to her but we all found out simultaneously. #Bad enough. you get confronted with the fleetingness of life and friendships and how everything changes even when you don’t want it to. #then. you talk it out. another friend’s dad just died. another one just bought a house and is moving away #engaged friend comes by again? And suddenly says she’s gonna get try to pregnant within the remainder of the year #and suddenly I’m hit with the fact that our friendship will never be TBE same and the life I thought we would live together is just not #gonna line up? We’re not gonna hit the clubs we’re not gonna go on adventures we’re not gonna paint the town red now that I’m a little bit #more chill re: covid. All of that? Gone. i thought I could make up for all of it but all my friends are in stages I’m not in #and with kids neber will be in? i won’t have a kid. i knew this but I didn’t /know/ this I won’t be able to follow #I’ll be aunt amber and I’ll love all their kids to the moon and back but I won’t follow. i know I don’t want kids #but I don’t think I thought about it before. what that would mean in relation to others #and I also just pictured myself with my own baby and though I don’t want it I never envisioned it and now I can’t stop crying #over the fact that I won’t have a baby. And it’s by choice yes but it doesn’t make it easy???????? #I’m suddenly saying goodbye to a life I’m closing the door on and that’s. terrifying #and I’m so. so scared I’ll end up all alone and never find love or fulfilment #30 is great in terms of feeling calmer and knowing what you want bht this whole ………. this whole thing? #i HATE it I HATE it I can’t stop crying and I’m panicking I HATE IT #FUCK. CHANGE TRULY FUCK IT ALL #and FUCK everything the last two years have taken away from me and how low I was because of it and how hard my friendships got because of it #can I STOP crying now that would be GREAT

[seilon]

by no means do i regret cutting off my dad but. sometimes i remember experiences with him that are so novel i wouldnt ever replace them. specifically i am thinking about how he’d play this country song sometimes that i have no idea how he found about gay interracial cowboys in love. i never asked him about it. i think about it often

#kibumblabs #chorus was like ‘interracial cowboyyy homo kinda love’ or something like that #my dad’s music taste was like. the most unpredictable thing on earth. in the most autistic way possible. it’s so hard to explain #and I still have no idea how he came across 90% of the music he’d listen to #I know when most people think of listening to music Autistically they think of an extremely predictable music taste where you listen to one #thing/band/genre/etc on repeat for however long and nothing else #but. the thing is. my dad didn’t NOT do that. his music taste was weird as hell and all over the place but it came in waves where he’d #listen to solely the same few songs or same artist or whatever for a few weeks and then eventually his focus would switch to something else #and he’d only listen to THAT for a few weeks and so on and so on. sometimes old stuff would come up again in a wave as well and #yeah you get it. occasionally he’d REALLY like a song and then he’d legit play it over and over again #specifically thinking of one time he got like. obsessed with moon river (the breakfast at tiffanys version I think?) and would play it #quite literally on a continuous loop on the house living room/kitchen speaker system and i think I was doing homework at the kitchen table #(wasn’t allowed to do it in my room cause my parents didn’t trust me) ​and was like. uh. dad. this is getting kind of annoying #and now that I think about it. I don’t think he stopped. at least not because of Me. i don’t remember when he stopped or if I just went #upstairs eventually if I finished my work. but yeah good god is my father autistic. he may not want to admit it but im pretty sure he knows #he is at least to SOME degree (my mother is a psychologist. i don’t think he could avoid it being pointed out at least a few times) #(he’s just prideful and stubborn and likes thinking that’s just the way he is and it’s not Pathological or blah blah blah idk. he knows.) #anywho. on the topic of things my dad would do that in hindsight ive realized are Very Autistic of him- he’d get annoyed sometimes if I sang #along to songs he’d play in the car because he wanted to ‘actually hear the song’ and yes first of all: dickish thing to say to a kid. but #the fact he didn’t realize that + now putting together that it probably had to do with having two sounds overtop one another in a #possibly irritating way… yeah. sounds like an autism thing. which I guess is kinda redeeming cause it means he wasn’t just being a TOTAL #asshole. still an asshole nonetheless but at least I sort of get it and get the feeling #cant blame him for having Autism Moments. can blame him for avoiding diagnosis or at least acknowledgement of it and never even remotely #attempting to keep his more maladaptive behaviors in check

[devotedlystrangewizard]

its a little funny how my dad kept being like "ooh ur gonna be so good at elden ring u were great at parrying the guardians in botw" and as it turns out.. im pretty decent at parrying in bloodborne!

#back in like 2017 i um. i learned how to parry botw guardian beams & perfect dodge lynels FOR FUN. #I SOUGHT THEM OUT #i would not rest until every guardian/lynel was dead and then following the next blood moon i did it AGAIN #like 12/13 year old me was INSANE. #my dad saw this. of course. pretty recently even because my stepbrother asked for help a few months ago (with master mode) #my dad. also. adores elden ring #and he kept saying it. yk. 'youd be so good at elden ring' #IM NOT. IM NOT GOOD AT ELDEN RING. #i only beat margit & godrick bc of the rotten stray ashes my stepmom got for me and got stuck at the WOLF. #parrying in bloodborne is so good #its so satisfying when u hear the noise & do the visceral #i havent put that much time into either of them but so far.. i like bloodborne more than elden ring #but maybe thats just margit's 3 year wind-ups giving er a bad rep right. ....right

[rackartyg]

i like vegetables. i want to eat vegetables. when my food is too beige i get sad. but anything colourful is so expensive this time of year and this year it's even worse, obviously

bwease i just want some fresh broccoli

#she speaks #recessionposting #satisfying my broccoli cravings by making soup from frozen broccoli because a head of fresh broccoli is 14 kronor #but it's just not the same #mum made ... okay so snålröra doesn't have a translation but #basically you take a bunch of veggies put some flavourings on it roast it in the oven and blend it up #mum makes that off of her and dad's kitchen garden harvest every year because when it's fresh there's too much to eat #and it's nice to have when it gets colder and there's no veggies and anyway i was given a bag of it #made pasta with it for lunch #mixed in some frozen spinach #but i want real veggies! that you chew! with colour! that are not carrots! or beetroot! #i miss back in august when the greenhouse grew like five monstrosity zucchinis all at once and my parents foisted one of those on me #and i had zucchini with everything for like a week because it was a desperate race against time before it went bad #now it's just. potato onion carrot. everything is potato onion carrot #something canned. something frozen. once in a blue moon i can have chicken because chicken prices terrify me #milk is the only animal product i refuse to give up on fuck you recession i need milk in my coffee #and eggs. you can pry eggs from my cold dead hands #putting a soft boiled egg in my instant noodles is one of my human rights actually

[theoogtree]

So yesterday I fell to the folly of hubris and went "I used to be on the speed team it's fine I can rollerskate down the sidewalk for a little bit" and I ate shit and fell on my ass and landed on my wrist wrong and boy does that thing still hurt today but I'm pretty sure it's fine and it'll get better and if it's still like bad bad tomorrow I'll go get an x-ray or whatever with the free healthcare I obtained by lying to the government

But the real problem is it's knitting club tomorrow and I do not think I can crank the thingy on my scooter for the whole way so the real question is do I skip knitting club (sad and disappointing) or do I walk there (2 miles not awful but more than I'm used to since I skipped being on the treadmill for like half a year lol)

#And also I guess the problem is will my wrist feel better enough to do craft stuff tomorrow lol #I was either going to work on sewing a little potted Cactus for father or taking apart another dress for the thread and fabric #It is a mystery. I will see how I feel tomorrow #I do also kind of got to go to the librarby because I put Sailor Moon on hold #And it won't be on hold anymore by Sunday when I go for game day #But if I skip knitting club I can just bother dad to drive me there for like 2 minutes anyway #Ideally father gets home from work early and just gives me a ride to knitting club lol

[ectogeranium]

I just had the prettiest fucking dream and I got woken up.

I am..... angry.

#it was a food coma nap so you KNOW those dreams hit so good #so it was basically like #i was in my room aaaaand at the foot of my bed I had a cornered wall of windows and I had put bat stickers on them #and the sky was grey like my blog scheme with the moon shining so nicely and it looked like bats were flying across the moon #and then my dad woke me up >:^( he asked me a question and then remembered the answer as he was asking me???? sigh #Im not actually angry but it was very annoying

[tender-rosiey]

i need more dad!gojo pls 😔🙏🏼

sulking — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: there was an anon that requested this scenario specifically but for some reason I genuinely can't find their ask so anon if you see this, i hope you will like it! <3

“s/n! get your tiny naked butt over here!”

your son squeals as he waddles away from his chasing dad and goes towards you, “mama!”

“yes, honey?” you reply, before turning towards your son and finding him all naked. at least, he didn’t escape from the tub, since he is still dry.

you giggle and pick him up, “what are you doing you little trouble maker?”

he kicks his feet and points upstairs, “pa!”

“oh, you’re escaping from papa?”

your son nods eagerly, looking around for any sign of said man.

“found you!”

your son squeals and hides his face in the crook of your neck. you pet his hair and look towards your husband who is…also butt-naked. you sigh, “satoru, at least wear your boxers before you chase the kid.”

“aw come on, wifey; it’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” he smirks, leaning towards you and lovingly kissing your cheek, “plus you deserve a show every once in a while.”

you pinch his nose, making him abruptly pull back with a pout, “if you want to give me a show, don’t do it in front of our son, you over-grown pack of hershey’s.”

“do you mean the cookies and cream one?” satoru says, eyes shining at the mention of one of his favorite snacks.

“yes, and I hate it.”

he gasps audibly, before taking s/n from your arms and into his own, “let’s go, s/n! we shall not tolerate mom’s slander for the hershey’s again!”

and so your husband marches back with his (still butt-naked) son to the bathroom.

satoru sets s/n on the sink, and looks down at the tub, “hey, at least the bathtub is full now,” he puts his hand in the water, “and it isn’t too cold for your small butt.”

s/n gives satoru his angriest look, before looking away with a huff.

satoru chuckles before tickling him, “you’re so cute,” s/n breaks character and starts giggling, and satoru starts cooing, “you act like your mama when I annoy her.”

satoru swiftly picks him up in one arm and points at the stash of bath bombs, “which one do you want to use?” he walks towards the box, and s/n instantly holds it with his strong hands.

satoru laughs, “oh you want all?”

s/n doesn’t respond. instead, he aggressively pulls the box towards him, luckily, satoru is able to hold it in his other hand before it fell.

he looks at his son with a pout, “you were going to create a mess, little guy.”

“mess!” your son claps and your husband can’t find it in him to scold him.

so your husband joins in on his chaos and raises him up high, “yes, big mess!”

your son squeals, reaching for his dad’s cheeks. then he starts rubbing his face on satoru’s the moment he is low enough to reach him.

he starts biting satoru’s cheeks and screams, “love you, baby!”

“love you too, my little buttered cookie,” satoru coos, unfazed by the baby eating him alive. he doesn’t let him linger though as he pulls him off his face, “time for a bath, stinky.”

s/n frowns and tries smacking satoru, but your husband quickly gets into the bath. the moment s/n touched the water, he started clapping and trying to dive deeper into the water.

satoru held him just above the water so he doesn’t fall into the bathbomb-filled water, “nuh-uh, you’re not going to fall face first into the water,” satoru spins s/n so he can settle him into the bath butt-first.

s/n wastes no time in playing with the soap foam and starts splashing everywhere.

your son is sat on the stair of the bathtub—a huge bathtub by the way, satoru specifically ordered this one for other activities though. s/n is beyond the moon and almost treats the little stair like his throne.

your husband can’t stop smiling, to the point his face starts aching, and he starts using the bubbles to form two little cat ears on s/n’s head.

your son’s curiously keeps trying to look up, but starts huffing when he can’t see the top of his head.

satoru then decides that the best solution is—“y/nnnnn! can you come over here with a camera?”

“okayyyy!” he hears you yell and shifts his attention to s/n to keep him entertained until you appear.

he leans down a little, exposing the top of his own head to his son and challenges him, “do your worst.”

your son’s—clearly inherited—competitive nature fuels him into gathering as much as bubbles as he can to place it on his dad’s head.

after that, he starts diligently molding the foam into the shape he had in mind. satoru just keeps on humming quietly, letting s/n do his magic.

once s/n finishes, he retracts his hand and clumsily mimics his dad’s proud pose, and satoru feels happier and happier as he spends time of his little ball of joy.

caught up in his emotions, he picks up s/n to hug him, but s/n slips from satoru’s grasp and into the water.

your husband is panicked right away, hands frantically searching and splashing around to get hold onto anything of his son.

he has half a mind to blast all the water away, but quickly decides against it, especially when he hears a “boo!” behind him.

your husband turns to s/n, who is giggling at finally getting to his father, and hugs him tightly, “papa’s sorry he dropped you, s/n.”

s/n, ever the empath, starts imitating what he see you and satoru do when the other is sad: he starts patting his dad’s back with a murmur of “’s ‘kay.”

satoru thinks he is going to sob right then and there, but you finally enter the bathroom, and satoru and s/n quickly perk up at your presence.

“mama!”

“wifey!” satoru grins and starts scrambling to make a new pair of cat ears on s/n.

and so you’re met with one of the cutest sights of your baby that you have ever seen. he is beaming with a smile so contagious that you don’t even notice one being instantly on your face.

he is also sporting a pair of bubble cat ears, so, of course, you get out your phone and start snapping away.

“s/n, look at mama!”

“yay!”

after a couple of photos, you hear someone clear his throat, and you look to your side to see a very pouty satoru. he huffs and looks away from you, “imagine ignoring the love of your life for a small mochi.”

“we made this small mochi, ‘toru.”

“exactly!” he declares then locks eyes with you, “that means I am the original and I should be appreciated more, anyway—what do you think of his cat ears?”

your husband’s tone switches almost instantly and starts fangirling about s/n, taking him into his arms and lightly bouncing him on knee, “he is so cute! almost as cute as me, right?!”

“you’re so right! he is the cutest cutie to ever exist!” you coo, arms reaching out to s/n, and your son throws himself into your arms with no hesitation.

you secure in your hold before chuckling, “you’re mama’s cute boy, right?”

you feel satoru stare daggers at your soul, but ignore him for the time being, “did you actually shower or do anything to clean, s/n? you smell stinky.”

your son frowns at that and buries his face in your shoulder to sulk. you stifle a giggle and question your husband about something that has been on your mind since you entered, “also, satoru—“

he perks up.

“—what is that blob of bubbles on your head supposed to be?”

and that, my friend, is how you got stuck in the bathtub with your two boys, each burying their face into your shoulders and—you guessed it—sulking.

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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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