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survivorsunsetrodeo · 3 years

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Ep 11 | No Regrets. No Mercy. It's Happening. - Ari

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Y'all.... the way I just.... asked Emma if she had an idol flaksjlakjfakls

She said no at first, but now she's saying yes lmao. OMG. I literally don't know what to do with this information other than like sit on it? Emma seems to be okay with me knowing this and as much as I want to tell Ari..... god idk this is so big.

This could really shake up the game for me and split up some of the big people in my alliance lkfjalkfja. GOD. Why did I even ask. Well knowledge is power and she wouldn't just like tell me if she didn't trust me???

I know I can't beat Ari and I think against Taylor it would be super close, but I also love them so much, so I would feel so bad if one of them went home bc of me lfkjalkfja. Like what is even happening rn!!! I just. Can't breathe.

YALL. I just. CANNOT.

Taylor calls me right. And says oh btw Jacob, Ari, and Ali pooled money at swap in order to get the REVOLVER. Which they neglected to tell me. Which is so cute. But THEN! She also tells me that Ali wants to go for Ari this round flshjsjshaa which is kinda hot and I’m BITTER AF because I literally fucking spilled my entire anxious heart to Ari and felt like they were my number 1 and NOW they’ve been hiding shit from me??? Goodbye. So then I tell Taylor about Emma having the beer and now we know where both idols are this round so woo!

So then Ali starts to call me to tell me goodnight and that he loves me (he’s such a sweetie) and I was like Ali what’s the tea? And he just SPILLS everything to me about all the alliances he’s in with Ari and how he knows we don’t stand a chance against Ari at final tribal council. WHICH IS ALL FACTUAL. And definitely things I’ve been thinking about, but also haven’t had the guts to say anything about. So basically a plan was hatched in order to get the 3-2-2 vote to still happen but have it land on ARI with the idol in their pocket this round. I am literally going to go ALL OUT for the next immunity comp bc Ari cannot win.

Sorry Ari, this town ain’t big enough for the both of us.

got my third idol probably gonna waste it thanks nic hehe <3 Its funny that i was on the very bottom of the tribe now that these people found out i have the idol they want to be my bestie and vote with me i am gonna try very hard to win this immunity so i could only maybe play the immunity idol on josh or he can play it on himself ASDFGH also f2 with 8 people jury just say that redemption island is happening i guess my game plan i hope is to get out ari (pain) then maybe flip and get out maybe dan/jacob i have a feeling after this vote that dan/jacob are probably gonna flip get one of me or josh out probs josh but i dont want that to happen so i am gonna try to make sure i keep on trying to build my relationship with taylor more like i did last tribal also noted wow my biggest weakness in orgs is not my emotions its honestly my self confidence damn also talk to ali more my goat brother <3 also i really miss brandi she was really nice also i feel bad but not super bad that jabari was out i wanted to work with them last vote but they were throwing me utb that wasnt good.. Idk maybe if i hella play these last few rounds then make a very convincing case maybe i do have a small chance of winning idk fuck touchy subjects AHHH it shouldnt effect me now but tribal made me remember again ASDFG even tho theres people who havent made moves like me.

https://prnt.sc/xo035n

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The way I was complaining weeks ago that I was gonna go 16th place...I have to laugh. Me and Emma seems to be in a power position this round since the majority alliance is probably starting to turn against each other according to Ari which is great because I'll have options. Last round I told Emma to distance ourselves and search for cracks within the majority alliance. That led to Ari creating The Clementines alliance with me, Ari and Taylor. Now I'm on board on this group but Tay's been doubting keeping me over Jabari as soon as they found out Emma bought another idol. I'm lying to everyone that I didnt give Emma money (which I did) and told them Nic gave Emma money before he left (which was true but it wasn't enough to buy a $500 idol). Emma got close with Dan and Jacob (separately?) but after all the disassociation with Emma people still think we're working together because they keep bringing our names in private conversations. Emma thinks it's Ari & Tay vs Dan & Jacob but Ari tells me that they are willing to vote with me and Emma this round (with Jacob? idk) but I'm not really sure what the dynamics is on their side but Ari wants to go after Tay and Dan which I'm totally on board with the idea. I would rather have Dan go first because I think the Ari and Tay thing can still be useful and Dan has more pre-existing relationships than Tay I think. The best case scenario is for me to win Immunity and with Emma having the tier 2 idol the majority alliance is forced to turn against each other prematurely. Signs have already been forming when Jacob and I called a few days ago about "Taking out the threats". If I can pull off pretending to have an idol too that'd be great because it appears that NO ONE knows where the t3 idol is which is weird. One more thing is that someone noticed about the finale being a F2 with 8 Jury Members. That really doesn't sound right and people seemingly getting money out of nowhere it's possible that some sort of Edge of Extinction or Redemption Island could be at play here. I wonder how far it goes....Premergers feel like they've been gone for far too long to have an impact in the game but hey I could be wrong.

lolz i need to win immunity or josh idk josh is probably good at math i hate math but im gonna keep on trying hehe also if i see something in the saloon brought i know alis ass brought the idol im just gonna keep on trying to remind ali like hey bro if u want a chance of winning dont vote me off aha

trust list you probably know 1: Josh > everyone else i need more ideas to make confessionals i am kinda tired at this point but dont give up until its over but honestly my tiredness is probably why i am in the retirement home also not me winning like 75 dollars when i almost wanted to abstain because this challenge is always a nightmare this challenge is more fun the emoji math maze... i think ali probs has the idol if he has 135 left when i told him if not if i see something in the saloon brought ill assume ali brought a tier 2 idol i know this tribal is gonna be crazy so i am gonna mentally prepare for it i also told dan i have the idol which is an L but everyone knows that i have it because why would they say they want to work with me when they hella lied to me during the nic vote also its the fact they seem me hey best person to take to f2 next to ali thank god for this idol honestly i guess another thing im worried about i need to distance myself from josh but thats impossible because i know jacob was straight up with me and told me he wanted to work with me and josh also dan also was kinda like that as long as i can get myself safe this vote ill be fine but like i said in my other confessional i know dan is probably gonna flip next round maybe i am thinking about targetting them if ari wins immunity o.o also i belong in a retirement hope random thing live finales make me wanna kms because what if i cry live thats so sad and my biggest fear im kinda okay at talking at finales.

so u can score like 100m in this challenge good bye brb gonna try to get the most points..

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ok here's the status report before i go off to bed:

dan is almost definitely tryin some funny business so he has got to go. i'm working with josh and emma on this one and i truly believe they are genuine, and jacob is obvs with that so it'd be four votes dan, three votes whatever the heck happens with the adoption centre split-vote plan. i don't think i even need to play my idol however im debating whether i should do so anyway because taylor is very much on the don't-break-ranks-just-trust bandwagon and i feel like she is going to be angery if i break that to go after dan without it looking like i felt very in danger? i dunno tbh. i could just pin it all on jacob and pretend to be shockedt but that feels a bit dirty and i'd like to own my moves thank u very much.... guess i'll play it out tomorrow and see how i feel

Not me waking up at 3am to a message from Taylor saying that Ari is feeling sketched out by me because I’m being calm.

Oh yeah Ari? Do you want me to act paranoid? I can do that, but maybe I’m not paranoid bc I know where both idols are this round. It just makes me think that Ari likes that I get paranoid and freaked out.

Part of me actually wants to tell them everything about the plan to get them out but at the same time I feel like that will get me voted out. I feel like the mind games are becoming a little too much for me and I don’t even really feel like playing anymore.

lol of course the person i wanted the least to win immunity wins immunity. Things are definitely starting to get spicy and i might've pushed it a little farther when i lied and said Dan is coming after Ari and I mean he might be but it's the push i needed to make for Ari TO STOP BEING VAGUE TO ME.

Bebop (named after Cowboy Bebop don't call me a weeb) has been formed yesterday and it's me, Emma and Ari. What a Galapagos reunion. Ari told that the majority alliance's plan is to split the votes 3-2-2. The 3 is possibly me because it's no secret Emma is going to play an idol. If no shenanigans happen it should be 3 for Dan, 2 for me and 2 for Emma with Dan going home but I do not feel good about this plan because if an idol is played then there's a high chance another one will. I plan on taking Emma's idol and playing it for myself with the reasoning is that there are people willing to keep Emma because of her goat status over me.

What's interesting to me is that Ari told me that Jacob doesn't like Dan and I'm not exactly sure why but if Jacob is open to voting Dan then I more than welcome it. Me, Emma, Ari and Jacob is the alliance that I've been wanting since merge started and how that hasn't been solidified yet is tragic. They're the three people I enjoy talking to the most. I mean, Taylor's great too but she's coming after me so she gotta go! The way that she messaged Ari saying "Are you sure it was the right choice to keep Josh?"....ARI OF ALL PEOPLE. Well, I'm glad the secret pair beware of #TeamLasagna is still going strong. Now that Ari has become less vague I know I can trust them a lot more.

i literally do not understand any of these people and it is driving me NUTS!!!

ok ok ok so like. josh tells me this morning that taylor said she wants to make a move on me because she heard i was talking to people one-on-one about her being most likely to flip. i immediately go oh f*#&$&#@ dan because i had SORT OF said that in our call yesterday so ofc he twisted it and used it against me. except!! then taylor herself calls me and says "josh came to me and asked if i trusted you and i wanted to get info from him so i made up this lie about how you'd said i was most likely to flip, i'm concerned he's coming for you" and i'm like oh f*#&$%#@ me. ofc my first instinct is to think she's lying as it seems like far too big of a coincidence for her to randomly come up with this story that is partially true..... BUT why on earth would she be telling me all this then? does she want to flush my idol? did she think the story would come back to me and wanted to get ahead of it? either way it doesn't make sense for her to say anything if she truly wants to vote me out, but the coincidence.... too much....... and should i be less certain of my relationship with josh? or are both their versions of the story true and they both don't want me out? my head is pounding i swear. plus jacob said that taylor told him she's "worried" about me because of what josh was saying, which lends more credibility to the idea she's being earnest in not wanting me out UNLESS she is aware of how close we are and assumes i'd tell him (i did)? I DON'T KNOW I JUST DO NOT KNOW

and then if that ISN'T enough, i have dan over here being completely erratic, first telling me how bad a day he's had that he almost wants to ask to be voted out, then saying that josh had thrown my name out which like ya i told josh he could do that. but dan's like "i'm not voting you ari i would never" and it's frustrating cuz he knows how to get to my emotions and i wanna believe him! i really do! especially since if he truly wanted me out he shouldn't tell me any of that shit. but i can't trust it i can't!!!!!! it's too risky!!!!!! ughhhhhhh

tl;dr this vote is a mindfuck and i'm 99% going to play my idol because i don't trust any of these fools anymore

also if i had a dollar for every time i tell jacob he needs to go be convincing to someone and he's like "ok bet" and fifteen minutes later that person is telling me "idk about jacob he's being so vague didn't really give me anything" i would have enough money to buy back my gun after i use it tonight

Y’all, sadly I think I’ve yeed my last haw

Well ignore my last confessional i dont want ari out idc how big of a threat they are or good at the game they are im gonna be loyal as i can to them idk before this i thought big moves and like flipping plus being kinda deceitful was to win i did get pots last year for playing that game tho but its like idk i feel like a new side to me like i rather be loyal to people who i been loyal to from the start and not make a move just to make a big move if i lose 7-0 so be it this game i had hopes of people working with me then being deceitful to me so i am just gonna do whatever tf i want this doesnt mean i dont like the people who i am against i think this merge was full of lovely people but theres people i am more loyal then others i honestly gave josh my idol to play because i rather not be alone without them in this game then be dragged to the end by somebody else also this is funny in orgs i thought years and years back ago me and ari are like oil and water, ketchup and ice cream but playing this game with them has been so much fun!! Also if i some how get betrayed or voted off in any round its okay NNN yeah i wish i had more of a game to prove but its very hard when everyone has different connections i really hope dan isnt super mad at me voting them off i really like dan as a person sometimes im dry in his pms but i did love like playing this game with them!! also i wish i can delete my first conf nnn

ugh i am just truly unsatisfied with this round no matter how it actually shakes out. i dont know what to say to taylor about dan going and i'm frankly too tired to think about it, i hate that im most likely wasting my idol but i would kick myself if i didn't play it & got stabbed, and i'm sad about the collapse of the adoption centre which is partly/mostly my fault anyway. i would like to get this over with as quickly as possible.

7th place isn’t something to be sad about I guess. Just wish I could have made it farther. I’m gonna be the most bitter juror out there tbh haha sorry Ari!

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This round is so scary I feel really bad about Dan

i'm so nervous about who is gonna go omg i haven't heard my name at all but i am still nervous and idk who to trust ahhhh

I came from the best player to the one going home

Power Rankings ONE - JACOB (+2) Threat: 6 (+2) Trust: 2 (NC) Looking back on this round, I didn’t realize how much power Jacob really had. Jacob could have single handedly sent dan home, but failed to communicate his intentions with the minority. Had Jacob of done this, I could have easily seen him sitting in the final 2. However, this misstep will have major consequences on his game. TWO - TAYLOR (+4) Threat: 7 (+2) Finally getting myself back into a position of power. Regardless of my downfall last round, I picked myself back up and went out of my way to message josh and Emma to see if they’d like to do something. Fortunately for me, they did. I could have sent dan home this round if Jacob had of talked to me (but he had no service). I would have been sitting pretty is a majority of 3 with Emma and josh. Threat level back up, back on track to win the game. THREE - JOSH (+1) Threat: 7 (+3) Trust: 7 (+5) Just like I predicted last round, Josh realized it was time to start making the right moves to get himself further. He just needed to break up the trio. I credit myself more than I credit josh though because I reached out to him, had I not of, he could have went home. But him joining with me was a good move for his game and he recognizes that. FOUR - EMMA (+1) Threat: 4 (+2) Trust: 7 (+5) Emma, similarity to josh had a good round because of me approaching them. Emma and josh didn’t even realize their games were at risk until I figured out that Ari, dan and Jacob weren’t voting me, rather voting one of them. Emma still left this round, but honestly if there was communication on Jacobs part about a flip on the revote, us 3 would have skated by. https://i.imgur.com/lFtZBsl.png FIVE - ARI (-4) Threat: 8 (-2) Trust: 1 (-1) Ari really lost control of their game at this point. Not only are they the biggest threat to win, but now they’re the biggest threat to win challenges. I also saw a different side of Ari that I can’t say I like. It’s funny because I used to always think to myself, “Ari seems nothing like an Aries, they’re so calm and wonderful and sweet” YEAH throw all of that out the window. Mad Ari is a different Ari lol. Anyways back on track, they for once I think were shocked by a vote, the double tie they had no control over. And finally, finally I think we are starting to see the decline of Ari’s game. Threat level is something I’m still trying to figure out how to control, and if you fail to control it like Ari did, you’ll see a similar result. SIX - DAN (-4) Threat: 4 (-3) Trust: 7 (+3) Dan lands here because of his failure to mend a relationship with me, now that I had Emma and josh wanting to work with me, Ari won immunity, and Jacob had an idol, it really only left me with the option of voting for dan. If Jacob had of said something, dan would have left this round. Because dan chose to link back up with Ari last round, and Ari lost control this round, subsequently that means dan also lost control. The one thing Dan has over is he isn’t seen as the biggest threat in the game.

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

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swearronchanel · 7 years

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As per request, 2.05

You guys have been so freaking sweet and kind to me with your feedback since I started making these ridiculous posts, it’s insane but I love it!❣️ I literally started these as a joke because my one friend who watches call the midwife didn’t pick up the phone (and bc I was under the influence whoops hahaha it happens) but now I have so much fun posting every week! I’m sure I won’t stop these any time soon (what will I do when this series is over until Christmas? Yikes lets not talk about it yet) Anyways @marialujan22 requested I rewatch and post for 2x5 & shit it’s been a while since I’ve watched series 2 but I couldn’t say no! Besides Im in a good mood because I have 10 days till spring break & only like 8 weeks left in the semester so here we go ..

idk if I’m mentally prepared for this

THE BIKE SONG I LOVE IT

“Somewhere far away, scientist we’re working on a magic pill, rumored to make pregnancy a case of choice..” Hell yea birth control, deff a magic pill in my opinion

Crazy that it took 3 series for the pill to become a thing & then there was still lame ass government guidelines

Jenny Lee! lol I often forget about her sorry not sorry, I liked her but she left. ya no importa

I love how “mature jenny” still narrates even though her character is never even mentioned anymore #letmenarrate lol jk I like Vanessa Redgrave’s voice

“Meanwhile other scientists were trying to send humans to the moon” fuck yea Hidden Figures

If CtM went up until 1969 that’d be lit, like the episode on mad men when they watched the moon landing! Just replace them with nuns and nurses and babies & replace the liquor for tea 😂

Shit I’ve said typed so much already

SISTER MJ💕 I wanna smack myself she’s brushing her teeth & I thought of that stupid toothbrush song from last week’s episode kill me

Nora’s pregnant again uh oh

Cynthia! SISTER E! Jane! It’s been so long

My bby Trixie 💕😍 I miss her pin curls! But now she’s serving those 60s looks so I’m here for it all

“Take that off this minute before you go to hell” LMAO TRIX YOU CANT TELL KIDS THAT

lol who am I kidding I would’ve said the same

I love sister Monica Joan, id quote everything she ever says but that’s too much work

Vicar’s wife? But who was the vicar?

LMAO WAIT DOESNT SISTER MJ FAKE A HEART ATTACK??

YES SHE DID IM DEAD I LOVE HER, WELL IT WAS LIKE ANGINA BUT IDC STILL FUNNY CAUSE SHE DIDNT WANNA GO

PRECIOUS SISTER BERNADETTE 😭💕

I STILL CANT BELIEVE MY BBY SHELAGH WAS A NUN, ITS SO STRANGE TO GO BACK AND SEE HER IN THE HABIT, LIKE YOURE PREGNANT NOW, WITH DR TURNERS BABYYY!!

anyone else really wanted to know how she was going to tell Sister Julienne “um i was already done with being a nun and now im love sick, I can’t stop thinking about Dr Turner so I gotta ditch this habit”

damn I feel so bad like she did not want another baby & had no choice but to deal with it

No Jenny, tea is not gonna help right now

And heres the lady that scammed her

How much is 2 guinnis ? Idk how to spell that u already know I’m an ignorant American

Did she really tell a married woman keep her legs closed? It Doesn’t even matter if she was married or not like who are u anyway?? I would’ve bitch slapped her too, good for u Nora

Sister MJ saying her horoscope was right, we are the same😭

Wtf is spotted dick? Also I laughed because I’m immature Lmaoo

Sister J eating the pudding, she knows how to get to sister MJ 😂 I love them

Trixie teasing Jane about the Reverend lol aw

“I can’t knit I had a heart attack this morning” ME TRYING TO GET OUT OF THINGS

8 kids in one bedroom though yikes

Cute and classic bedroom moments 😭💕

“Naughty version of eggnog” like coquito? Lol nah, coquito is the bomb

IM CRYING SISTER BERNADETTE LOOKING IN THE DOORWAY

THIS BREAKS MY HEART EVERYTIME

THEY FUCKING CLOSED THE DOOR ON HER, MY BBY. I WANT TO HUG HER 💔💔💔 she deserves the world

Who is this irrelevant ass vicars wife? “Cherrio”

I’m so sorry Nora

Ew wtf a rat just bit the baby?

“Just tell me what you want sister” SHE WANTS YOU DOCTOR

THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OMG IM SHOOK

WHAT THE HELL TIM WHY DID YOU RUIN THE MOMENT ?!

sister MJ wants to roll bandages, make it happen! lol I love that Cynthia and Jane unwrap them all for her 😭

Aww i love babies !! but that one with a funny nose uhh

SISTER BERNADETTE BLOWING THE WHISTLE AND CHEERING 💕 MY HEART SHE IS SO ADORABLE

Aw I wish Trixie could have another scene going through old pictures and maybe share old stories with the new nurses💔 unlikely but you know I can hope. SHE DID HAVE THAT PHOTO OF HER AND CYNTHIA ON HER MIRROR LAST SUNDAY💕

“I’m a woman on a mission” beatrix, light in my life

Curly locks lol, when I was younger I was called Shirley temple and when I dyed my hair I was called Goldie locks.. mind u that lasted into high school 😂 I’m staying blonde for good though, I don’t think I can pull off anything else

DONT GO OUT WITH HIM TRIXIE, HE’S TRASH

Laura Main’s angelic voice ✨👼🏼

who am I kidding she’s an angel

you know what would be fun and a dream? to go out with the ctm cast and get drunk and take trashy snapchat videos singing

Gin & a hot bath??

Trixie looked him up lol, good move

BUT HE’S STILL TRASH and an asshole

Pickle knife ?

again, this irrelevant vicar’s wife? vete ya

Everyone thinks Sister MJ is senile but she knows what’s up with Sister Bernadette..

“..but is all blank sadness and continued tears” MY HEART💔 sister Bernadette/Shelagh has spent the majority of this show crying/being sad/distressed ugh!! Laura Main plays is beautifully but I CRY!? Let her be uninterruptedly happy please 😭💕

she (and helen) ruined me tbh, I used to have dignity

Is Jenny really naive or is she just pretending not to understand??

SEE SISTER BERNADETTE IS ON SCREEN AGAIN & IS UPSET

“I almost wish I was physically ill..” okay bRb CRYIN. THIS IS WHY I CANT WATCH THESE OLDER EPISODES I CRY TOO MUCH, I DONT LIKE TO SEE HER UNHAPPY

Remember when I started the show and didn’t know it was gonna ruin my life? Or before I grew attached? Yea me neither lmaoo those were the days when I thought downton killed me. I Didn’t know what was coming 😂 still love downton though rip #downtonmoviepls

Knitting needles?? aye dios mio

HA GREMLIN TIM AND JACK

Again how much is a gunniea and how do I spell it? I could google it but I’m busy here

She was willing to sell her wedding ring and risk her life for an unprofessional abortion. DO YOU SEE THE ISSUE? This isn’t just the a period drama either. Shit is real

“Are babies more valued because they can survive or do they survive beside they are more valued?” good question sis

lol Jane was so sweet and just bounced with no word

AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE SHE WENT THOUGH, THANKS FOR THAT NZ CUT SCENE

Trixie being a babe and getting ready to do her nails 😍💕 I wish I could do mine well but I’m trash and so I pay to get them done

The cross cutting in this scene is crazy but so well done (& yes look at me using real terms lol, I took a Music in film class last semester and had to know editing techniques 😂, I did fairly well too)

I really don’t know how she survived this

My bby trixie looking gorgeous as per usual. I love her so much, Helen u kill me

NO COÑFIO TRIXIE, HE’S NO GOOD

Haha why did I not remember the Gone With The Wind reference? Cynthia was so cute, I miss her carefree and happy

FRECO MOVE YOUR DAMN HAND, YOU ARE TRASH.

HE’S FICTIONAL BUT ID STILL FIGHT HIM

my poor bby😭💔 it is not your fault , he’s trash!! But this moment between the nurses warmed my cold heart

“Matrons in charge, virgins of iron” 😭😭

Aw Earth Angel playing, ✨🎼 I highkey pop to 50s/60s pandora stations

Jenny yes it’s illegal but do you think that matters rn??

TIM AS MAID MARION LMAO

Sister Bernadette looking at Dr Turner ah omg 😭they’ve come so far.

It’s not your fault Jenny but you should’ve told someone

Sister B & Tim won 👏🏼

LMAO ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT POST “WOAH CALM DOWN IM JUST TRYNA DATE YOUR DAD”

and she’s down, and the glasses flew

“You’ve hurt your hand” “well I’m sure there’s no need to amputate” ah sister b/shelagh lowkey has some of the funniest lines she just slips them in and people miss them !!

Here it comes ..

THE MOMENT..

“Would you like me to have a look at that?” UHM YEA

No but seriously I can barely remember what I thought when I first watched this but I knew something was gonna happen because a nurse can handle her own damn cut & well you know, she was in love with him

HE KISSED HER HAND. A fucking doctor kissed a nuns hand people, how scandalous & this was THE MOMENT I KNEW I WAS CORRUPT AND WAS GOING TO HELL, I AM SATAN I WANTED THE DOCTOR TO KISS A FREAKING NUN ON THE MOUTH LIKE WTF WHO RAISED ME? MY MOTHER WANTED IT TOO SO IDK BUT THIS KILLED ME, LIKE R.I.P HERE LIES GABBY, I WAS IN THE GROUND DECEASED. I’m actual trash. Someone dispose of me in the proper bin #recyle

for real, this is when I really knew that I was never going to love any other show like this and I allowed it to ruin me

BUT HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? THATS A BOLD MOVE

BOLD IN GENERAL BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW IF SHE LIKES YOU BUT BOLD x1000 BC SHE IS A NUN, YOU KNOW MARRIED TO GOD, VOW OF CHASITY AND ALL THAt??

What if she would’ve freaked tf out or told sister Julienne? I don’t even know. I’ll just be grateful for how things turned out

“At this moment I only know I’m not turning my back on you because of you but I’m doing it because of him” AHHHH, DONT WORRY BBY GOD LOVES U AND UNDERSTANDS YOU LOVE HIM AND THE DOCTOR, LOSE THAT HABIT AND GO PROPERLY KISS PATRICK 😭

Sister MJ judging the baby contest is the purest thing & I need it to cleanse my disgusting soul that wants a dr to get with a nun #notsorrythough

“In Nonnatus we were good at tending other’s wounds and there were times I felt we were all each other’s children..” brb I’m crying I love that they’re like a family 😭💕💔

I’m so happy they didn’t kill Nora and she actually was happy in the end. I really wasn’t sure for a moment (obviously when I first watched lol)

“ Free reliable contraception came too late to help her, but in time the scientists triumphed. Her daughters and granddaughters lives remained transfigured, long after man left fleeting footprints on the moon.” Vanessa always knowing what to say in the end.

Lets see how the pill is going to be reintroduced this series, I’m interested in how it’s going to play out.

I’ve said that so many times though so I’ll be done

The End.

#call the midwife #im actual trash #I love this show too much #my thoughts #and rambles #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though #my commentaries™

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itzjhay · 4 years

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vent-

my bfff asked me to come thru to socal bc she said she needed me to be here. From the get go I told her that I was unemployed and had no typa funds so idk how I would pay for anything. She was hella like no no dude its okay and ill talk to your parents, so she swooped me from our hometown the last week of may with her quarantboo. i told her I would drive halfway and she was lowkey upset so by the time we were 40 miles away she was like can we buy alc. so im like okiiii so her boo and her bought alc, like within 15 mins home girl finished a whole bottle of Malibu to herself. Maybe like 30 mins later shes like jai I have to pee and her boo was like nah nah keep driving and im like nah if she has to pee its okiii so we pulled to the side of the road and homegirl blacked tf out while her boo was helping her boo and she started hella yackinnnn. And so we had to fix her throw up and so basically she was booty cheek ass naked and mind you its freaking broad daylight so im like telling her boo hurry we have to haul ass so this doesnt look sus. Long story short, I drove the entire way, paid for gas and paid for food while she was blacked out and her boo was in the back with her

We got to her brothers place in la and she was still hungover asf and didnt remember shit. She fell asleep while showering. And like the next day I was so dead from the drive and shes like cleaning and I asked her if she needed help. And shes like no im okay. So I go ahead and start packing bc she got a place in lb so we were leaving her brothers apt. and then we get to lb and her mans was going to come over and I told her hey if he is going to come over can he at least bring water bc we have no typa groceries. And shes like omg no thats embarrassing and im like oh okay and then he comes thru and she tells him how I haven’t done shit and she cleaned the whole place and how she paid for the place in lb and I was like damn thats a slap across the face bc i told you my situation from the get go lol so then like I just mind my business and then im like she makes it seem like Im not going to help out so like the next day I spend $500 in groceries, and her and her boo aint say shit or say thank you or anything

Then like im like okay thats fine, at least i am able to contribute in some way so I end up being cleaning lady, cooking lady, house lady bc I felt like damn im living here for free lemme at least try and help in someway. But homegirl has a problem where she blacks the fuck out and doesnt remember when shes drinking. So the same day I got groceries and she was in class and her boo was having people over and he was drinking and they got into a fight bc she felt fomo, so this girl drinks two trulys and she is alrdy fucked the fuck up and he gives her two shots of henny and she yacks, and I have to clean it and calm her down, and I tell her boo to bring her to the bathroom pls while I clean her yack and shes like going off on him in the bathroom and his friends are like okii I think we need to leave and her boo is like no no its coo and they’re like nah dude yall should handle that and so shes in the bathroom and shes like cussing him out but I didnt know bc I was clean up crew, and she goes off for like a half hour and half until she passes out booty cheek ass naked in the shower, her boo probably walked out like thirty minutes ago and so I checked up on him and hes like I cant handle that disrespect ya feel me and hes like I applaud you for being able to be so calm and so then I was his therapist/counselor and by that time it was like 2-3am so I told him ima call it a night and if he needs anything to wake me

Apparently I was passed the fuck out so he didnt wake me up but homegirl yacked on him and peed so he had to handle that alone and didnt sleep until like 5am and im like omg shiiii and then its like 6:30am and she comes to my room hella crying and im like omg what happened are you okay and shes like what did I do I dont remember what happened so I told her and shes like omg im so embarrassed and thats so bad and im like yeah dude you were cussing him out and went off on him and shes like I think hes mad at me I dont want him to leave me and im like nah dude I dont think hes going to leave you but I think you should let him sleep bc he hasn’t slept at all and shes hella persistent like no I want and need to talk to him and im like dude you have class soon you have to focus on that we’ll handle it later and I go talk to her boo and hes like over it but then eventually they make up bc I was like mediator and shit

Then it happens the next day where she gets fucked up over like three trulys and shes like in the tub again yacking and throwing a fit at him and hes like honestly I dont want to deal with this disrespect again and im like no I feel it its okay I understand ill handle it… then I am her therapist and counselor and tell her she needs to calm down but I guess she just be internalizing their fights and everything to the next level soooo yeah…. And then like a couple days go by and like its the weekend and I got invited to go to my other friends boyfriends friends graduation party where basically all hell happened….

So basically I got picked up by my other friend and main homegirl and her boo were spending the day together mind you I started drinking by like 2pm and it was probably like 7pm and home girls texts me that shes alone at the park by herself bc they got into something so im like okay come thru and she comes thru and like maybe like 10 mins in she is alrdy fucked up…. And im like laying on the floor chilling and I get up and im like oh fuck where is she and so I find her upstairs with my guy friend and she was alrdy fucked up yacking and he was helping her and im like omg I can handle this and hes like no its okay she needs help and so shes like jai jai call my boo and im like okay okay and so I call her boo and hes like out with his friends and he hangs up and tells me he doesnt want to deal with her disrespect so he’ll let me handle it and im like no worries enjoy your friend time and then she just goes berserk…. She cusses everyone out, she yacks, she goes face first down the stairs, she breaks my friends fan and she was just going off, and instantly kills everyones vibes… and shes like booty cheek ass naked and like thats just hella embarrassing not just to my other friend but to her housemates who own the house, but to like everyone….. and so my friend was like jai she has to go and im like okay but shes fucked up and everyone went to fucked up to sober so fast bc of homegirl… and so I said ill handle it on my own… so I was alone in the bathroom with home girl and she was going off on me and I like broke down and I was so embarrassed bc like I didnt come to socal for this….and eventually me, my friend, her housemate and my guy friend help me bring homegirl home back to our place and I packed all my shit that night while she was passed out… and im like I cant do it this is the last straw…

So Im telling her boo the update and how we are home and she lost her phone and hes like thank you for updating me and I say im packing bc I cant do this anymore and hes like dont leave her youre her rock and im like no im not leaving her but like damn that was just too much for me… and then I wake up at 6am and shes awake and asks what happened and I told her and im in tears and I said ima leave but I didnt and then we get ready to go to church bc her boo was expecting us to go to church and it was hella awkward bc my friend was texting me saying wtf happened and her house mates feel a way and I was trying to move in with them so they’re like questioning me as a person and if im drama bc of how last night turned out …. And pretty much I apologize via text to my friend and her housemates bc that was so embarrassing and they dont really react to what happened or say much. So we went to church and we met her boo and after we get food and it was like an awkward lunch bc her and I get confrontational and her boo was like well you have a wonderful down real ass friend right here and she was like thank you for the intermission but lets go and her boo was like so was this like in one ear and out the other and im like yup and she replies like no I just dont think we can dwell in the past so they decide to go to the mall and im on the phone with my friend and my mom bc im updating them on the shits that happened so then we leave the mall and we drop him off and then her and I drive in silence and go to our rooms and im on the phone with my friend and homegirl goes to sleep in her room and then I check on her and the door is locked so im like okay and then we have to go to pm church and we drive again in silence

And I start having an anxiety/panic attack and so im like dude im not right rn and so I have to collect myself and she doesnt really say much… and then I collect myself then we meet her boo and we go to church and she was like not in the mood but I wanted to do something and her boo and his friends wanted to go to the brewery but then she was like I dont want to be the reason yall dont do anything so lets go but first I need to get my phone, so we stop by my friends place to get homegirls phone and my friend tells homegirl to be mindful next time and everything…. And then thats that and we leave to go meet up at the brewery and I order 3 flights of beer which is like 12 in total LMAO bc it has been A MF DAY and its coo bc she isn’t really down with beer anyways and so we go and then head home and her boo and his friends come over with Seagrams which is like 3% alc and then we are all chilling and shit then his friend asks homegirl for her permission if her boo can go out Friday night for his birthday and shes like why do you need to ask for my permission and so for an hour the friend is trying to convince her to let him go and its in front of everyone and she walks out and were all like oh fucking fuck then her boo comes back and says that she cried it all out and they talked and everything so she comes back and apologizes to the friend and then like we all call it a night

Then like the next day its just like I stay in bed until like 2pm and go back to sleep bc im so tired and then its like 4pm and im like hey can you bring me to my titas in la and her and her boo seemed hella upset bc they were supposed to work out and everything…. But I was like hey I have to go tho bc my tita is waiting for me and she has work and so she drops him off and then drops me off at la and im like hey I wanna say I dont hate you and I am not mad and dont think I am abandoning you and shes like no dude im fine and im over it im never going to see those girls ever again and im sure im out of that housing living situation so dont worry and shes like I told my parents how you and I need space from one another and they were really confused and she was like yeah they’re like but youre so easy going why do yall need space and I laughed and was like yeah youre not easy going when youre drinking and then the rest of the car ride was silent and awkward and I asked her if she needed gas money or anything and shes like no im okay and im fine and then she hella just seemed like she was over it and wanted to rush back to her mans… and I could tell that.. I walked her back to her car and shes like call me if you need anything and im like yeah thank you, take care text me when you get home safe and the 15th is the last time her and I spoke…

I mean I dont expect her to pay me back for groceries or anything, if she wanted to pay me she could have and if she didnt thats okay too I dont expect shit in return yaknooo like thats just me and thats my heart if I am down for you ima just be hella down for you like we’ve been friends since high school yaknoo and like I needed space bc like I didnt come here to be your care giver but dont think I left bc Im over you like yeah I may have been petty and upset but I alrdy know how she is when she gets a mans she forgets me and focuses on the relationship, I appreciate the fact that her mans was okiii with me yaknoo and made that effort and he knows ive only shown goodness to her and to him, I know there is something deeper within her I could tell when she came back to cali and when I saw her in feb she wasn’t okay, I told her I dont think shes mentally stable and I broke down saying I really dont know who she is when shes drunk and shes looking to fill the void that she feels and how she cant push me and him away when we are trying to be there for her I mean if anything I helped her be able to communicate with him a whole lot better yet she didnt communicate anything with me except her relationship and feels she has for him, i guess it just sucks bc like I never knew that we’d end up like this lol she still views my ig stories and has my location I think its kinda funny bc like I honestly really came here because of her and for her yaknoo and I texted her around 7pm today and like I know she saw my text and she just didnt react to it and I know shes home so idk dude

A part of me feels stupid bc its like why am I so down for people I love, yet its like damn I didnt know I had to question whether or not youre as down for me *kanye shrugs* maybe my heart really be so damn big and forgiving, I feel the tears in my eyeballs wanting to flow out I guess I didnt realize how much it hurts me til right now lol

#jhalexpersonal #ventsesh

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chickenstuffedwithmozzarella · 6 years

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Haaau. Oooh. Thats sweet. Do i really say holiii that much? I havent noticed. Okay, let's blame tumblr. It's not as if it works perfectly so...😂 Oooh, yes!! I'm in. Tag me in whatever you want. The meme of H and the lamb was hilarious. I love that comparison. Jajajajajja Gosh, can you imagine when he sings Familiar all by himself? Without JBalvin to do that part? If he sings the whole song when he comes to Spain, fans will lose it😂 (1). ((Any update of Liam the cat?))

HI!!!!! I don’t know! You have say it just a couple of times, really, but this girl says all the time and you reminded me of her, and now she reminds me of you,jejje. Honestly, that lamb is Honey! Jajajja. He’s like that too! He looks at you like: what? Do you have something to say? No? okay, bye. Jajaja. And let’s be honest, harry is very meme material,jajajajajja. (I’m so behind in his tour updates, btw. Haven’t seen anything🤦🏻‍♀️) Liam is coming in a couple of weeks? The 4th. Imagine if he sings in Spanish!!! I would die! If he does, he will do it Perfect (Perfect is capitalized bc of the song, omg). I’m sure he’s learning new words in Spanish. Hola sacapuntas, ¿como están todos? 🤣🤣🤣

Oh nono. Dont apologise. I was just laughing at myself. But thanks for the effort💖 This asks was easy to figure out. Oh, dont worry. Im more concerned about the inbox eating my asks (are they safe or are they lost? I never know) than you not answering. Really. (2)

Right? Like, you take the effort to write something and then you put it out there, without knowing if it will reach their destination or not. And at least with me, you know for sure if the ask is missing or not. But when you write people who has a lot of ask you’re like: did the ask get lost or did I say something rude? Are they ignoring me or have the blocked me??? Hjdfojriofjnoeirvjerv @staff!! Work on it!!!!

I dont like the sentence that goes “seria mucho mejor si participa”. Its nothing, but…me chirría* bcs of the possible undertone. Im very sensitive. Thats it. Though i must say that they compensate it with tge next sentence “voy a hacerte todo *lo que me permitas*”. Bcs consent!! Thats important. Oh, same. I dont usually hear anything in Spanish, mainly bcs i havent found anything that i like. Oh, you have almost the whole week free? Thats good!! (3) *i cant think of how to translate it xd

Jo, I haven’t read the lyrics yet (sorry Liam, I’m a very busy person,😅), but yes, you might be right. That sentence… if she isn’t participating… what are you doing then? And yes, that other sentence is better. I have to take my work (as a fan,lol) more seriously. Sdicsjdlncinsldcnlcjvls LOUIS JUST TWEETED LIAM???? Jfdbhkdbffvdfkv WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!No, but my friends are idiots, jajajja, because I like a lot of Spanish music, actually. Like from the 80s and such,jajajajaj. And once, we were watching OT el reencuentro, and I knew all the songs and they wouldn’t stop teasing me, jajajaj. And o was like: see?? I like Spanish music. OLD Spanish music. Now, even Bisbal sings reguetón 🤦🏻‍♀️.I have to babysit my cousin on Wednesdays starting this week, so good. Bc I only work on Tuesdays and weekends. And someone else have offered me to babysit their children occasionally, so good good. More money for me to spend on the boys.

No idea what is Terra Chat. I guess i was too young? But i do remember messenger! You talked for 6h each day? Thats insane! I could not talk for so many hours. I would run out of topics or something. First time you failed anything, and you 6? Wow. Go big or go home, right? Jajajajaja. Luckily i dont think i’ve ever had any problem with the internet🤔. Its a lifesaver, really. (4)

Seriously, Terra’s chat was the boom back them, jajajja. But I was like 15, so maybe you were still starting to walk, jajajaa (I DON’T KNOW!!)? And yes we would talk for 6h every day. I would eat dinner at my computer, the days I would eat something at all. I lost 4kg the first week I started talking with him,jajajaja. IT WAS TRUE LOVE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 (gaaa, I used to be the most embarrassing teenager you can imagine,jajaja (haven’t change much, I admit)) [philosophy moment of the day] Kids from today’s day should know the struggle to not be able to text every moment of every day. Having to compact your words into 180(?) caracteres, bc you only could send a text, and it costed money! EVERY. TEXT! Uffff, that gives personality to someone,jajaja. They have so easy to communicate these days😌. [end of philosophy moment]

You also have a JHO shirt????😍😍😍😍 one shirt for each? Well then, 2 more to go. I’ll swear, someday i’ll get myself something like that. What?! You didnt like Niall??? Soraya!! How so? He was lovely! Yes!! He (& his team) is doing so good! He’s conquering the world and im here for it. And also, his new dressing style is a blessing. I love the trousers he wears for the shows. He looks really handsome😍 (5)

The better part of them putting out they’re careers at different times is that you don’t notice you’re spending so much money,jajaja. Because everything is so expensive!!!! Don’t remind me, I’m ashamed I didn’t like him. 🤦🏻‍♀️. It’s not that I didn’t like like him. I just didn’t see anything special about him?? How??? Was I blind??? Probably! But now I just jsdkhfiowjefijowef love everything about him. And yes, absolutely yes no his new style. I can’t wait to see him in person, omg!!! I’m so excited already, jajajaja.

Over again? Listen, can you belive that i discovered very recently that when they sang “hole in the middle of my heart like a polo” there werent talking about shirts?!! I used to hate that sentence bcs it made no sense to me! But they are talking about candys!! Of course. Solo songs. How did i forget?? Small stage? Mymy. You are a genius😂 Oh cool. I know nothing about cameras, but this one has an impressive name. JAJAJA. (6)

Jajajajajaja, I was shocked too when I knew about that too! Jajajaja, I remember thinking, oh that’s makes much more sense that a shirt with a hole??? Jajajajajja. But I love that song live, seriously. You’d have to hear me and see me the concerts I perform in my car!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I lose it with that song! My dream? To drive for 5-6-7 hours singing every 1d and solo songs, singing (screaming) every song, and with other four friends/fans. That’s my dream. Jajajaja. No dram job. No being rich. No nothing. Just singing 1d songs, jjajajaja.

Okaaay. I will call you if necessary. Same goes for you. JBieber and Zayn? What about them? Are they making a colabo or something? Are you asking about my toughts on them?? Sorry. Im a bit lost. (7)

No god, how could you Thing they would be collaborating, 😖, jajajajaa. No no. Your thoughts on them. Nah, I asked be I was going to tell you things my mom says about them, but I don’t want to offend you if you like them, jejeje.

Guess what. My friend (who is the most up-to-date on pop culture and music, and the one i always tell my theories to) called me yesterday “la reina del ocultismo”. (Just bcs i said that Shawn latest song sounded queer to me). JAJAJAJAJAJA. Anyway, I felt so proud. I might be crazy, but at least i have cool name. And i dont get bored🤷 (8)

LA REINA DEL OCULTISMO!!! Oh yes!!!! Jajajajajaa. Hey, I don’t follow very close Shawn, just what I see in my dash, or I’ve hear the songs they play on radio, but girl!!! He so gay!!! (And I don’t want to be offensive, okay? Offensive as in assuming he’s gay or something (wow, they just started playing It Isn’t in My Blood by Shawn,jajja) just because stereotypes). I saw and interview the other day, and he’s stance…mymy. But, well, again, I don’t know anything about him. “I might be crazy, […]And i dont get bored” #aboutme, jajjaja. And, please, share you’re crazy theories with me!!! Jajaja

YES YES YES. Of course i read fics. I read them everywhere, shamelessly. On the train, on the subway, at college, at family dinners (that one was risky, i must admit). JAJAJA. But sadly i have too many fics on the “to read” list. Bcs i dont feel like reading something with the length of a book on the phone, and also bcs once i start i cant stop until im done, so its quite inconvenient if i have to study. So, yes. I read them. What were you reading yesterday??? (9)

Same!! I read fics everywhere. I don’t worry to much about my family knowing I’m reading, bc no one understands English. But I freak out every time I let my iPad with a fic opened, bc they can see Harry’s or Louis’ name and I don’t want them to know I’m reading about them,😅😅. I run out of fics to read sometimes! That’s how much I read, jajajja. They’re always part of my bedtime routine, jajajjajaa. And, well, I was reading a fic, I liked it a lot, but I checked the author and she’s a bit “questionable”, so… I’ll reserve my opinion, if you don’t mind. I read someone’s opinion on the fact that people write stories about Harry and Louis, but then they don’t think they’re gay (as in part of LGBT+ community), and believe Louis is a dad, and all the rest. And they said why that is wrong, bc they’re fetishizing gay relationships. And it made sense. And if a queer person (I don’t know if I can use that word, sorry) says that, I have to believe it, y'know. So, when I read a fic from an author I don’t know, I check their blog, just to see. And I saw that, so I won’t be sharing the fic, sorry (which is a pity, but… 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Yeah. It was totally predictable. I know know. But…he looked cute. Well rested. Happy. And we had been deprived for too long so it was a gift to see him again. Thats it for tonight. Sleep well😙 (10)

He always looks well rested after a few days with his boy,jajajaj. I can’t wait to see what the future has planed for him. And also, I’m so curious about this new LiLo thing 🤔🤔. What’s all about? They now tweet each other. Liam talks about him all the time… we’ll see, we’ll see.

Well, that was a productive morning shift, jajaja. I’ve been almost 4h writing this,jajajajaa. The whole morning! Now, I have to check everything is correct before I close to go for lunch,jajajja. Thank youuuu. Bye bye!!

Pd: waaaa, I almost forget about my limo (liam,jajja). Well, I was going to bed, but before it I looked out the window, and called him. I was calling for a good half an hour. And then a black cat appeared, and I thought hey! they are coming! Then another black and wait cat came. And I didn’t stop calling Liam. And HE CAME!!! He came to my window, where Honey and I were. And I told him to jump, but his so fat… jajajjaa. So I called at my house phone so my mom would go to open the backdoor, and I went out from the front door. And when I reached my window he was up there, but he couldn’t go in, bc I had closed it, so Honey wouldn’t go out. And he jumped and went to the back door to wait for my mom no open the door, and then he run and run till my room, jajajaj, to see if there was food in his bowl. And, just that. They I “bath” him. And gave him a pill to desparasitarle(?), and put him a collar para las pulgas? Jajaja. And then I feed him. He was exhausted and hungry. My poor boy. I don’t know why he keeps going ou, if he doesn’t like it,jejeje. Honey kept smelling him bc he smelled different, just FOR A DAY OUT!! (Jo, hablo TANTO!!!) Thanks for asking, love.

#anon #kjdfnfviubdfvubiugrfd #I talk a lot #hey have you listened IDGAF by Dua Lipa??? I love it!!

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howimetmybaby-blog · 7 years

Text

How it feels to be emotionally disturbed during ur last few weeks of pregnancy...

Dear baby, its ur apparently 37w1d today (20 feb) corrected EDD. Alhamdulillah, you've been doing fine and you've been moving well. I'm getting more tired to be honest and havent started my stairs which i've been bugging ur abah but he is busy with his deliveroo i can't bear to make him more tired. Maybe i shall do more pilates and yoga.... Anyway, i know that the past few months have been good with u, but these few weeks i've been worried about a condition that suddenly became so worrying. I've been having black nails since young - i guess since i was even in my teens... But they didnt really get really dark but these few weeks, my nails have gotten darker and more of the nails have been getting the bands. I shouldn't have googled it, im regretting it soooo much because it is scaring the heck out of me. I don't want to think too much of it or even mention t because im afraid its true. I wanted to go to the polyclinic and ask for a referral to National Skin Centre to check it out but my mum, ur abah and Dr su asked me to wait it out until after i give birth to check. I guess that is the better iption, because i wouldn't want to be extra depressed during my postpartum if its really bad news. But im hoping not because i did read that pregnancy causes it too and there are ppl who got it during/after pregnancy - just that there're no follow ups since they posted those issues... Anyway, im trying to think positive as much as i can and really hoping its just a pregnancy side effect of skin pigmentation due to increase of melanin when pregnant (it usually darkens ur skin and freckles etc). Anyway, alhmdulillah, it seems like ur sister Nawwal is excited for ur arrival. I've been conditioning her and letting her know of ur arrival. Washed some clothes for u and she assured me that they were for u (even though some were her previously worn clothes) She admitted that thise were 'for adik', so alhamdulillah. Also, alhamdulillah, she is starting to like and accept school. No more cries to get ready for school for whole of last week. She even wanted to go to school at 10.30pm on of the nights last week. Ur abah and I had to bring her down to show her the school bus is not coming until morning. It was hilarious but really cute. :D I'm abit worried because i've been having negative feelings about ur abah's family. They didn't do anything wrong, but i just felt angry... I dunno why. But anyway, last week, ur aki & nenek bought a rank with fish for ur sister... I know it sounds bad but i told them that we will not be bringing the fish home because: 1. I can't be bothered to look after more living things - especially fish, and im having another baby for goodness sake... I don't need the additional stress. 2. I simply told them nobody is gg to look after the fish and I am lazy to do it. Yup, direct and simple to understand. 3. To be honest, i felt that Hafiz and I shouldnhave been consulted first if they could buy a pet for my child. Because come on, who will be the one responsible to look after the fish? Me or Hafiz, right? They are living things, they have lives that we have to look after, and if i cant even look after plants well, what about fish, who will clean the tank? Who will feed it? Me? Kirim salam ok... Yes, i know its for ur sister Nawwal, but i still felt because if it was to be put in our homes and its another (many more) living thing (s), then we should have been consulted on this too. Imagine if it was a cat? I would freak out even more and be deranged. Nasib bukan cat cos i kmow they're all afraid of cats. Lol! So, i told them they can keep the tank for nawwal at their place - they have bibik anyway she can clean the fish tank or whatever, im not gg to be responsible for it - and i hope they won't be so hurt about it. Im sure they're abit hurt but i was quite upset about it too... I kmow they wanted to be fair to all their grandchildren... But.... I seriously DO NOT like the idea of keeping animals in our homes except for in the freezer to be eaten. But this is not why i am having negative feelings about ur abah's family... I guess i have a love-hate r/s with them. But maybe i felt that we always had to sacrifice for them. Well, we didnt bisit them for more than a month... I felt that knowing how tight we are with our budgets and how busy ur bah is working, if they wanted to meet ur sister, they should come down and visit us instead of us having to spend alot of money travelling to their place all the time. But i guess they dont see that. I know sometimes ur abah hs an ego and act like he has so much money but i know how tight he is and how we need to strap ourselves, i even try to reduce buying pantry items because i just dont want to burden ur abah too much... I also feel they like to celebrate birthdays alot within themselves, lole, they had to celebrate ur aki's bday 2 times, on the actual day and the weekend... Cant they just choose one day? Anyway, i had other plans on the actual day (visit from Yi Xiu mummy's Poly friend) and the day after, supposed to celebrate ur aki@: bday again but i was so sick i couldn't get up, so we didnt go (although i kept asking ur abah to go with ur sister but he refused). Ur father's family are nice ppl, im talking about ur grandparents and great-grandparents, but sometimes, i guess we just have different frequencies. But sometimes im in awe by how ur father and i can be compatible for each other... Funny huh? Ur abah is a wonderful man, alhamdulillah. I feel so blessed to be married to him. He loves me, i know that but im quite a bitch i guess. Oh Allah plwase forgive me for my shortcomings... Today he finally put up the shelves in ur sister's room (Which u are gg to share with her by the way) and it looks better' im so happy because the walls have been looking so bare... He also hung up the hooks i boight since forever in ur sister's room and i love them too! Alhamdulillah!!! So anyway, yes, i've been a tad too emotional these past weeks since the googling thingy and i am tryungggg not to google about it again and will check after my confinement i guess. For now, im just gg to keep praying its just a pregnancy side effect and will go away post partum. I hope i will get to live a long life to look after ur sister and u and also be a better wife to ur abah and a better daughter and daughter in law to both sets of parents. And at the same time, u, in there, dont be a crybaby like mummy ok? Remember u are strong, no matter what challenges he gives u. I cant wait to continue adding more stuffs for u innour home, like ur cot and some cabinets. Hopefully ur abah can find time to make them work.... Ok dear, its late... Time to catch my forty winks. We'll meet soon ok? Very soon. Be good and make my labour easy please! Love you!!!

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