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legends-of-direbear · 7 years

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Dead Man’s Switch || JD/Veronica: Heathers: The Musical AU

Genre: Heathers: The Musical (AU from Shine A Light)

Summary: When Veronica McNamara is driven to commit suicide, Veronica’s determination to save her drives JD to make a promise to keep Veronica safe. Even from himself. Apparently Sherman is making a change.

Part 6

Note: this is not intended to glamorize toxic relationships. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are the only thing keeping someone from harming themselves or others, please get help, because that’s not healthy or right.

Triggers: attempted suicide, murder, bullying

“Just another example of the losers trying to copy the cool kids, and failing miserably…” Heather Duke’s sneering tone rang in Veronica’s ears, her stomach twisting with nausea.

“Oh my god, Martha.” Veronica sat in the hospital room, completely dejected. She couldn’t breathe. She’d done this to her best friend—driven her to jump off a bridge. Veronica was becoming single-handedly responsible for the death of every one of her friends and their associates, whether by words or actions. “God, I’m so sorry.”

She’d destroyed her friend. Her best friend. Who’d only wanted justice for Ram Sweeney, who’d only ever been nice to her during kindergarten. As opposed to Veronica, her best friend for years, who’d pushed her over the edge by confessing that she’d been the butt of a joke to dodge suspicion of being responsible for the death of said linebacker and his best friend. And Heather Chandler.

“I’m going to Hell,” she whispered. And she deserved it.

“No you’re not.” Veronica didn’t even turn around. “This wasn’t your fault.”

She laughed humorlessly. “Not my fault? I practically shoved her over the bridge myself. I did this to Ram, Kurt, Heather…”

“Whoa—did you glamorize their deaths?” JD squatted down next to her, pushing his duster away from his boots. “You wrote something to give them substance, but you weren’t the one that published it around school. You weren’t the one that wanted to televise some love-in in the cafeteria. You helped save Heather McNamara—not Heather Duke, not Mrs. Flemming. You, Veronica. You couldn’t have known that Martha was considering—“

“I should have known,” she countered angrily, hot tears streaming down her face as she held her friend’s splinted-hand. “She was my best friend, and she loved Ram. I should have known.”

For once JD didn’t argue. He looked pensively over to Martha. “She’s alive,” he reminded her softly.

“I have to tell her the truth,” Veronica said.

“What? No—you’ll go to jail.”

“I have to tell her something!” she argued. “Look at her, JD! I did that—I’m not going to let her think no one cares about what she’s going through. I’m not going to let her be alone.”

JD gripped her arm firmly. “Okay, let’s just calm down for now. You’re always telling me to think things through: how about before we go telling anybody anything we just take a little time to consider all of this? Martha will be okay for now.” His eyes fixed on her intently. “I won’t lose you Veronica.”

Fear compounded with shame and guilt and pain; but Veronica merely nodded. She supposed JD was right: if she was going to confess, she wanted to be the one to tell Martha; so she’d have to at least wait for her to wake up first.

Returning to school was the worst: Heather Duke was exactly the same, if not worse. She’d apparently managed to get the signatures she needed for the extra pages in the yearbook, although based off of homeroom gossip Veronica was suspecting that some peers were either coerced or straight-up lied to about the purpose of their names.

Martha’s attempted suicide didn’t draw any support or attention from the adults; and only became slam-chatter amongst her fellow students. Veronica found herself withdrawing as far from the crowd she’d so desperately wanted to be part of as she could, only accepting company from Heather McNamara, who, once the focus of her own depression had shifted, was welcomed back into the In Crowd with about as much love as she’d had originally. For all of her blonde clichés however, Heather didn’t forget Veronica, and continually checked up on her to talk and offer a kind word and offers of hanging out and/or going shopping.

If she wasn’t so lost in her own problems, Veronica would be worried by the fact that this meant JD was her most common shoulder to lean on. She was well aware of his toxic influence, and without her tenacity to keep him in check, she wondered how long it would be before he convinced her that Heather Duke was to blame for all of her problems, and if she’d be able to stop herself from going along with whatever he had planned. Oddly though, JD didn’t push her toward his usual homicidal tendencies. He continually encouraged her to keep their assistance in Heather, Kurt, and Ram’s “suicides” to themselves, but otherwise just sat with her quietly, keeping the conversation light in between bouts of reflection.

When she heard that Martha was awake, Veronica almost ditched school to see her. The only thing that stopped her was Heather approaching her and asking for her to sit with her during English. They talked about Heather Duke’s expanding agenda—the head cheerleader had fallen back into the girl’s ranks—and their plans for Winter Formal.

“Is JD taking you?” Heather asked curiously after admitting she was hoping Matt Bauer from the basketball team would approach her.

“I don’t know.” Veronica didn’t want to tell her Probably not because we’ll both be in jail, so she simply shrugged and let the vague answer sit alone.

“I bet he’ll ask if you mention it,” the blonde encouraged. “You’ve been so gun-shy about everything since—before. I mean, we’re having party this weekend at Matt’s—“

“No,” Veronica refused a little too insistently, causing the blue eyes watching her to balk. “I mean, with everything that’s going on…partying is just starting to feel weird.”

“Oh, yeah, I guess.” Heather wasn’t friends with Martha, but she tended to like what her friends liked, so Veronica could tell she felt bad about her accident. “But I’m sure they’ll get better soon. I mean, I heard they’re letting Martha out next week, right?”

“That’s what I heard: I’m going over there after school to talk to her.”

“Yeah, that’s what JD—“

Veronica’s eyebrows quirked. “What JD what?” she asked.

“Nothing.” Heather was a terrible liar.

“What did JD do Heather?” Oh god, the ideas that flickered through her head…

“He just asked me to make sure you went to our last classes—he didn’t want you ditching to see Martha; said he wanted to see her first. He didn’t want to upset you.”

Veronica felt the blood draining out of her face. What if JD was stalling her from getting to Martha so he could make sure she never found out? Pulling out her IV drip; smothering her with a pillow….Veronica jerked into action, shoving all of her books into her bag. “I’ve got to go.”

“What? Why?”

“I just do.” Honestly, Veronica liked Heather, but she would let herself get manipulated by a pillbug. And now that she’d properly distracted the brunette, what would she find at the hospital?

Oh God, Martha, she found herself internalizing. I’m so sorry that I let it slip, that I trusted JD…how am I going to live with this?

She raced into the hospital, up the elevator, through the corridors, into her room…to where Martha was laying quietly, staring out the window.

“Oh my god—Martha!” Veronica was crying as she threw herself next to her friend’s bed, practically in hysterics as the wide-eyed worry of the girl next to her confirmed that Martha was, indeed, still alive. “I was so worried—I thought—I’m so sorry!“ She was blubbering like an idiot, unable to keep herself from gripping Martha’s good arm tightly in the closest thing to a hug she could manage in her friend’s state. And that was how they stayed for a few minutes, with Martha’s wide eyes watching and trying to comfort Veronica’s hysterics as she kept rambling how sorry she was.

“Veronica, really, it’s okay—I’m sorry,” she responded, causing the brunette to look up at her with bewilderment. What did she need to be sorry for? “I let myself get caught up in all of this, and then when you said that thing about Ram and the note—“ Veronica winced in shame at the mention of her horrible moment. “But I’m going to be okay—the doctors are letting me out.”

“I know.” Right as the cops are going to arrest me. “Look, Martha; I have to tell you something about that note; about Ram…”

“It’s okay, Veronica—JD already told me everything.” Veronica looked up in surprise, and her friend’s eyes were full of compassion and sympathy.

“He did?”

“Yeah—he came by like an hour before you did, said that you told him what I’d said and he wanted to clear up everything.”

“He did?”

Martha’s good hand squeezed her friends. “It’s okay, Veronica—I’m not going to tell anyone: I already promised him too.”

Okay, so Martha knew that she’d killed Ram and Kurt, and Heather, and JD convinced her not only to keep it a secret, but apparently in a way that made Martha feel sorry for them? Veronica could only gape as words refused to come out.

“I mean, I guess I always knew Ram wasn’t the same guy he was in grade school,” the kind-hearted girl continued obliviously. “But with what happened to JD—I guess I get why you didn’t think you could tell me about it.”

JD fidgeted with his hands as Martha watched him timidly. He knew that she was slightly afraid of him; and apparently she’d had good reason. He didn’t think he’d ever hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it, but Veronica was breaking apart over Martha’s attempt at taking her own life, and it gutted him like a fish. He might as well have been jumping off that bridge too. And at night now, he saw Martha standing next to his mom in that library in Texas, just waving at him with sad smiles. He couldn’t stand it.

“Look, Martha. I know that you think I hate Kurt and Ram, and I kind of do—“ well, kind of was an understatement – “but it’s more complicated than just the fights you saw. Ram…” Deep breath, glance over at her, at the window. “Ram…kissed me.” He watched as Martha’s eyes popped open in surprise. “I don’t know; maybe I said something, or did something; but one minute we’re fighting, and he’s pushed me up against the lockers in the locker room, threatening me, and the next…” He shook his head, not making eye contact. It wasn’t really hard for him to paint the dead guy as a potential rapist—it’s not like he hadn’t done it before; he and Veronica had discussed it extensively before they’d pulled their double-suicide prank. Just not with guys, as far as either of them knew.

“I got away, but he said he’d kill me if I said anything,” he told her. “And what would I say that wouldn’t get me pegged as gay at this school? And then he and Kurt killed themselves…I told Veronica, but I made her swear to take it to the grave. I mean, maybe there’s a little more tolerance in Sherwood, Ohio, but not enough to make people keep from turning around and calling me a fag, you know? I don’t know…maybe I’m just a coward.” He glanced at her, sitting sadly in that bed, casted up in place. “If I’d known you were going to—and how badly Veronica’s messed up over it…I would have spoken up, I swear.” He fixed his eyes earnestly on her, willing her to believe his story. Veronica wanted Martha to find a good guy, to get over Ram Sweeney, and JD couldn’t survive without Veronica. And he’d promised he wouldn’t hurt anybody else. This was the only way.

After a long minute, Martha’s good hand slowly crawled over to JD’s as it fisted the sheets on the edge of her bed, clasping over his in solace.

“I guess I misjudged him,” Martha added in the silence that followed. Veronica’s brain was still having trouble processing what had just happened. “I mean, all of that—confidence, I guess—I assumed that nothing got to him. But he’s just like the rest of us, really.” She smiled sadly at her friend. “I’m really sorry about this.”

“Just get better, okay? When you get out, we’ll have a movie night—something with a happy ending.” Both of the girls looked far from believing that there really were happy endings in real life, but a huge weight was lifting off of Veronica’s chest as she saw her friend truly forgave her, and she was determined to set things right. “And don’t ever do anything like that again.”

Martha actually did laugh a little at the threat, and nodded her promise. With a gentle farewell and promise to come back soon, Veronica stood up, sweeping a hand down the pleats of her skirt and then leaving the hospital.

She wasn’t really surprised to see JD leaning up against the wall of the hospital exterior waiting for her. “So, are you waiting for the cops?” he asked.

Her eyes were unamused, but she gave a curt shake of her head before sighing. “I can’t believe you told her that,” she finally commented.

“He wasn’t a good guy: she needed to let go. I just gave her a good reason to.” Veronica’s eyebrow quirked as he shrugged and sidled next to her.

“You realize if anyone finds out about that, your reputation is going to be ruined?” she remarked incredulously. Not that his reputation was so stellar to begin with, but adding a “homo” to the “psycho” aspect didn’t really help.

“If I have you, I don’t care,” he insisted, sweeping her into his arms and pressing a kiss against her temple. “I’d let them think I screwed every guy on the football team if it protected you.”

A very weird promise, but Veronica knew his heart was in the right place; and at least he wasn’t threatening to kill anybody. “Thank you,” she told him earnestly, snuggling tighter into his chest. “And thank you for helping Martha. For keeping her safe.”

“I promised.”

Veronica sighed and let go of her fear for the moment, just letting herself feel safe and loved by her boyfriend that protected her in the best way he knew how.

#Heathers: The Musical #au #ficlet #mine #jd #Veronica #heather duke #heather mcnamara #martha dunnstock #Multichapter #dms #dms006

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