#does this make sense? i honestly don't know lmao but it was in my drafts for 2 months so i might as well post it

[hecatesbroom]

One of the things that really gets me about Hardy and Miller's relationship in Broadchurch is how much the respect they have for each other shows in how they physically interact. Even when they're not particularly pleased with each other/the situation.

I mean, I think the fact that they don't sleep together even though there was plenty of incentive for the showwriters to add that in (the drama!!) says something already, but that's not what I'm talking about.

It's the little things. It's the fact that they barely touch at all even though Ellie seems to be pretty comfortable with physical contact -- whether it's meant to be affectionate or comforting or both. But Hardy isn't, and because Ellie's a pretty intuitive person she never attempts to touch him the way she would others.

And we see Hardy, in his turn, go out of his way to attempt to physically comfort her when he sees she needs support. The careful hand he puts on her shoulder when she finds out about Joe and the way he lingers a bit after that to see if she needs a shoulder to lean on.

Or the time he asks her if she wants a hug after the trial, because he knows she's the type of person to want a hug while going through something like that, but she declines because she knows he's not the type of person to go around offering hugs. That's the scene that really shows how much they've come to understand each other, I think: Hardy is willing to step outside his own comfort zone if he thinks it'll make her feel better -- he's willing to adapt for her because at this point they respect each other enough that things like this don't feel like an obstacle he can't overcome -- and she's unwilling to accept his offer, because it's not an olive branch or him warming up, but rather than that he's offering up a piece of his own comfort to make her feel better. And Ellie, who is generally too nice to allow people to do that, respects him too much to let him do so. Besides, I'm sure she'd just feel weird about it at this point.

Then at the end of season 2, when Hardy leaves and Ellie is there to say goodbye, it seems almost inevitable that they loop back to episode 1 and do hug this time. But instead Ellie extends a hand, and Hardy is almost surprised she doesn't hug him, maybe he's even a little disappointed (because that's what people do in these situations, right? Hug to say goodbye?). And in a sense we get an exact replay of the first episode, only now Ellie is offering Alec what she thinks he needs, whereas first he offered her what he thought she needed.

And maybe they were both a bit wrong, but only because they've come to respect each other's boundaries enough to make that careful miscalculation. And maybe they wouldn't have been wrong, maybe Ellie did want that hug and Alec did prefer the handshake, but only because the other was kind enough to offer exactly that to them, did they want the alternative -- to show their gratitude by shaping the situation to another's comfort, instead.

#look at me writing unnecessarily long meta posts for a show that ended 6 years ago #broadchurch #alec hardy #ellie miller #broadchurch meta #does this make sense? i honestly don't know lmao but it was in my drafts for 2 months so i might as well post it

[stranger-nightmare]

Ugh yes! I don't wanna spam you with these thoughts but I can't stop!

The way he is talking to you encouraging to talk more. "i didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat that babe?" While you can feel his fingers curling against your spot. And the coolness of his rings too and with his other hand he is holding you down. Let's be real he is VERY talented with his fingers I just know it. AND THE PRAISE TOO "Ah yes you are doing so well babe" "Yes that does make sense, good girl" "Aren't you a smart little thing?"🫠🥴

Sitting in his lap and just turning around to him "Who needs a degree anyway?" Then going in for a makeout session, which he tolerates for some minutes, letting you think you've finally won, just for him to turn you back around and whispering in your ear "You do. Now be my smart girl and write" while slapping your thigh. 🫠

-🦊

honestly babe spam away, I literally always open to more Eddie thots!!

no bc it’s canon to me that he’s good with his fingers I mean it’s just not up for debate honestly lmao

ashdkdppgl please his mocking praise of “mmm such a clever girl” as he curls his fingers inside you ahskslsl I’m shaking rn

sigh, I’ve now made a draft so I can write this when I have time lmaooo l

- hope

#the answer to your nightmare #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #🦊 anon

[lifesliced]

maybe this is or isn't on topic BUT, would you write about how ren feels about kinji, and.. trying to shove him in ur canon... what is his place considered to ren? like, does he know he can scream at kinji and he will just stand there 🧍‍♂️and be like "ok.. so.."

i think this was for the meta meme which i should find and link but in the meantime ill just answer this for you :')) also this has been in my drafts way too long, im here to answer it // also tagging my other blog @hehosts for context !! but it honestly fits here because ren is connected to akira, so ig in a way kinji is also connected to akira lmao - @hiisfire

how does ren feel about kinji?

so far, so good, right?? ren is pretty flirty overall, and if he is flirting, it means that he sees him more positively, i think. ren only flirts with people that he views negatively to get something from them, and i don't think he necessarily "wants anything" from kinji, so it's a positive. i think kinji just sort of showed up and gave companionship?? to my understanding, thus to ren's understanding. ren's life is a series of circumstances, many out of his control, although a lot due to his action (or even his inaction).

also some stuff has progressed since i started this lol so they definitely have more like chemistry and an underlying relationship that is building up.

what is his place in (my) canon / the MDIAH canon?

i akin my "world" that i've built to be a lot like death note, just sans all the death note stuff lol - what i mean is that the death note world is basically like an inverse of reality (to-oh university instead of tokyo university, etc) - the things that are changed are enough to keep a continued sense of disbelief. goro is the biggest "suspension of disbelief" i think my story has canonically speaking.

so i think kinji falls into one of ren's suspendable moments of disbelief if that makes sense?? whereas ren is a direct product of the world he is in, figures like kinji fall into a spectrum of world ren is sort of able "to see" from birth, and interacts with often, but is never truly "in."

i think right now he and kinji are in the testing the limits phase of a new friendship/relationship/etc. they know one another well enough on the surface, but i think are still figuring each other out while having a mutual spark that brings them together - or keeps them together, i should say. something initially drew kinji to ren, so something about kinji had to allow ren to let him stay, but not because ren "has the power" or anything, it's just like ... paper and glue kind of? one has to touch the other to stick, but they both have to be of their substance of origin to work with one another - so ren is probably the paper, kinji is likely the glue.

ren is a terribly lonely, nostalgic person. something about kinji must be nostalgic for him, i think. maybe it's from a life he doesn't remember, an ancestral thing, or maybe he's just that lonely.

i think kinji is seen as a companion for sure, someone that ren has come to expect to show up daily, and someone that he is getting used to, which will then later factor into nostalgia lbr.

#hiisfire #hehosts #me answering this 1000000 years into the future

[headless-horsepossum]

this may be a silly question but. what does an editor Do. I ask b/c I might need that service but don't even know I need that service.... hope this doesn't come across rude I'm just genuinely curious

Not silly or rude!! it's a fair question cause there are a bunch of different kinds of editors.

Basically, if you're working on something, (written work in my case but there are like video editors and audio editors and all that too,) you can send it to an editor and they'll help you get it ready for Whatever You Want To Use It For.

.....this got long lmao so i'm putting the rest under a cut ig

I'm very freelance (bc i'm disabled and don't have a degree 🥴) so i take whatever projects come my way, which atm means a lot of Masters and PhD level dissertations/theses, because my mom works for a university that has a lot of international and first-higher-education-degree students but DOESN'T HAVE A WRITING CENTER for some reason, so I'm usually like half editor half writing coach. Which is to say, an editor for a publishing house probably does much different work than I do and tbh I don't know Anything about what they do lol.

but how *my* job works is:

you send me a draft of your project.

I learn as much as i can about the end destination and audience of your project.

(this is a lot easier if you're writing, like, a Memoir or a Pamphlet For An Art Show, and a lot harder if I have to Read The Chicago Style Manual) (Chicago Style is probably fine but their style manual is fucking wack and i stand by that)

I read your project and i mark anything that is either a.) unclear or b.) Against The Rules Of Your Intended Destination

So like, if you're writing a masters thesis, I'm strict with grammar and with formatting. The style your institution is using probably has rules about whether you can use first person, and when you use italics, and whether your citations go in a bibliography or in footnotes or w/e.

If you're writing a Novel, I can be a lot looser with the rules and just look for: is this effective? what is this line Doing? is it doing it well? Does What It's Doing Actually Need To Be Done Right Now?

(editing fiction/creative nonfiction is WAY more fun but i don't get to do it very often. sigh)

I put my suggestions in the document you've sent me, with Track Changes on so you can see everything I've changed. I add comments to the doc wherever I think they're necessary/helpful.

I send the doc with my edits back to you

You (hopefully) read through and decide whether each edit makes sense to you. (this is the most important step, honestly)

If they make sense and you're happy with the resulting draft, my job is done and we shake hands and depart as friends.

If you have questions, or the edits require extensive rewrites, we ideally meet over zoom or w/e and I explain my suggestions to you, and we figure out how to Make The Words Do What You Want Them To Do. You send the doc to me again and I do as much of a second pass as you want/Will Pay Me For.

It's worth noting that there are different *levels* of editing, too. I've done jobs where I'm just checking grammar, or where I'm just checking formatting; I've also done jobs where I meet with the author and we basically write the piece together (which is really fun, actually, I like sitting down and asking, like, "okay, what are you trying to say," and figuring out how to help YOU figure out how YOU want to say it. it's like detective work :3 or therapy possibly). Those all take different levels of time and energy, so for student papers I end up with a lot of, like, "this could really use a thorough content edit/rewrite but it's Due In A Week so we're gonna make sure everything's spelled write and the footnotes are formatted correctly." (which i HATE doing btw, it's a perfectly reasonable thing to do but it Hurts My Brain bc it feels like I'm not Doing My Best which is Hell.)

anyway, the tl;dr is: editors take writing and suggest changes that will make it Perform Its Intended Function Better. the actual act of editing takes a lot of work, and often a degree of background research, too. tip your editors, is what i'm saying.

#editing #writing community #I Guess idk #again: my disabled non-degree-holding ass is just doing my best and learning on the job for a lot of this lmao #this was fun writing though :3 and a good break from my current editing job lmao #so thanks for the ask!!!! mwah #also disclaimer i have Not Edited This Post lmao. thats my job i aint gonna do it for free

[unethicalexperiments]

SOOOOO this post has been in my drafts since i watched it, so i think dec 18-19-ish? and has been (mostly) unedited since so these are still my immediate reactions.

okkkkk actual archer post now. spoilers for the entire show and into the cold under the cut

i think the ending was like. i don’t wanna say “cop out” but, kind of out of left field? it felt very disconnected from the seasons leading up to it but i honestly can’t say i’m mad about it because i don’t think the post coma seasons were very good comparatively speaking to seasons 1-5. yes i know adam reed stopped writing for the show during/after season 10. i know he got tired of the setup after season 4 and that’s why we got that mess that was seasons 5-10 which was VERY up and down in terms of writing. i do, overall, like the ending and i don't think they really could have gone in another direction.

the agency was always going to have to be shut down. we’ve known since season 2 there were issues with keeping ISIS afloat, so i don’t think people really should have been surprised by that. i do appreciate that lana got the top job in the end, i don’t think archer himself would have enjoyed that job. her whole post-coma storyline with the other man i never really cared for, like yeah it does make sense for her to move on, especially with her young daughter, but robert was absolutely not the type of man lana would have been with and i thought that was bad writing. creating conflict and a solution (him being a billionaire) for the sake of creating conflict and a solution. i’m glad that ended when it did but it shouldn’t have been there in the first place imo lmao. i also want to say that while i’m not against the idea of lana and archer having a baby, i think they were destined to have some permanent tie in some way, but the way the show went about it was god awful. lana taking archer’s sperm from a bank gave fans another reason to hate the one black woman in the show, and then to give aj little to no screen time or story line after made it all feel like it was all just there to make people hate lana more. but also, what the fuck are you gonna do with a baby in a show about spies? it should have been saved for the end of the show and again i feel like this was adam reed just trying to get out of writing spy stuff (which he said regularly in interviews he grew tired of it, which, fair, but come on).

throughout the entire show pam’s character has changed so fucking much but she remained relatively consistent with regards to who she is as a person throughout. from very early on (at least season 2 if not 1) we’re shown how physically strong she is and how she actually makes a good agent. there were weird things thrown in about her personal life that i found very inconsistent with regards to her romantic/sexual relationships though. our first look into pam’s sex life is… very uncomfortable to say the least. she’s written as a sexual predator and commits assault on screen at least once in the early seasons for a “haha sexual assault is funny” moment that is never brought up again. on top of that, we’re also introduced to her being “undesirable” sexually which very quickly changes to “she fucks and she fucks WELL”. we’ve also known from the start she’s bisexual as she comes onto lana like episode 3, but then there’s a random moment in season 11 or 12 or whatever of her asking a random one off character to “be her polyamorous primary” and then this is never seen or talked about again and it feels like diversity for the sake of “oh look at us we have diversity” which i fucking hate. she’s a woman who fucks well and often and forced moments like that feel forced. sorry.

i do not actively participate in archer “fandom” bc let’s be real there isn’t really one lol HOWEVER the way other fans talk about cyril is fucking bizarre to me. ppl on here act like hes "uwu innocent cinnamon roll baby" when he's just as complicit as everyone else. we know he’s not a very good person from the start and that has been consistent throughout the show. i really don’t have much to say about him here he’s always been a pathetic character (and that voice actor whose name i can never remember is very good at those types, i really like him in what i've seen) and the kinda guy who is always going “but what about meeeee?!” and i think his personality brought a nice balance to the gigantic egos he shared the room with, as he still has a giant ego but he can’t really voice it, and he turns kind of incel-y because of it. i really enjoyed that about him, he was shitty in a different way, y'know? i will say the finale was kind of weird with him, i keep going back and forth on whether or not i like him not really getting a clear ending.

now to talk about cheryl. this has to be one of the most bizarre character story arcs of all time. she goes from a timid secretary who wants to fuck archer to a billionaire with (and i hate this word but i cannot think of a better one atm) psychopathic behavior causing destruction for the sake of causing destruction. she has this really interesting and crazy backstory that we first hear about in season 2 that develops over time, but starting like, season 5/6ish, it’s a slow flanderization of her character from a kind of hidden evil who is smarter than she lets on to a total idiot who likes to set things on fire. and oh! look at that she hears voices sometimes too! haha isn't psychosis funny! aren't people with psychosis terrible and evil? isn't that funny? anyway. this gets SIGNIFICANTLY worse post coma (same with krieger, i’ll get to that later) to basically someone who shouldn’t be outside of a hospital. it was really disappointing and even in the finale a few characters outright say “has she gotten worse?” pointing out in universe the flanderization (or possibly intentional writing?) which just feels shitty. also, her being a country music star for one season and then outright forgetting about it the next (explicitly said in the show she has no memory of it!) is just bad writing.

as for krieger, i feel very much the same way as i do about cheryl. he started off as a weird, kinda background character who turns out to be this mad scientist with ties to malory since childhood. some of his inventions are successful, some aren’t, but he did actually do stuff. as the show went on (post season 4) you also start to notice the degradation of his character like with cheryl, turning him into a bumbling idiot. he got a moment of his old self in the finale which was nice, and the little nod to him and cheryl possibly working together after was fun, but it’s no where near enough to make up for the way they both were treated for the past like 10 years in the show.

as for the man himself, i think he remained the most consistent throughout the show. we see character development, but not a lot, and i think that felt realistic. he’s still an asshole, he’s still a bad person, but he’s not as bad of a person anymore. i think he truly did remain the same character from the pilot to the finale. there were some moments in seasons 12-14 where i felt like he was getting more.. childish? almost? but the finale was him through and through. he always loved lana, he always loved katya, he always loved his daughter. i don’t think lana/archer could ever really be a viable endgame. we’ve seen them try, but they really shine as people, as parents, and as professionals when they have that cat-mouse dynamic and i think it was a good mirror to malory and nikolai from seasons 1/2. another thing, i know he said he didn’t care who his father was, but FUCK i wanted to know! i’m choosing to believe it was nikolai because adam reed had said that at one point that was the plan.

i also just realized i forgot to talk about zara completely. zara felt like, in ds9 when jadzia was killed because her actress had enough of rick berman, but they had one more season to do so they tossed ezri in there for the sake of having someone fill the spot. since malory was gone, lana took her spot, and zara was created to fit lana’s spot. i feel the same way about her as i do ezri dax, which is i really don’t care. sorry LMFAO. i understand why she was there but she didn’t add anything to the show to me.

now the finale itself. the whole “one last mission” thing was nice, it wasn’t mind blowing or anything but it was fine. i will say, i never felt like slater was archer’s real rival, i always felt like (pre coma seasons at least) it was barry. i think the ending of archer vs. barry would have been better but that’s just me. i think they fucked up a little going the route of making them friends in the end. and the whole both katya and barry being in the same cyborg body for some reason felt very weird and last minute, katya and barry didn’t end their relationship on good terms lol. AND THEN. archer having sex with the barry-katya hybrid caught me SO off guard. don’t get me wrong! i’m glad they put that in there but it was very 👁️👄👁️. unexpected to say the least lmfao was nice to confirm his bisexuality though? i guess?

while the finale covered a lot of recurring and repeat characters and storylines, i feel like there were some BIG ones that were left out. like, what the fuck ever happened with veronica dean?? the woman who shot archer, the reason he was in a coma for 3 years?? they mentioned her ONCE in season 11 in an off handed comment that “they were still looking for her”. ok so did they find her?? maybe it’s because i didn’t think the recent seasons were that great, but i thought the finale being centered around a fabian (was that his name? i genuinely don’t remember i’m not watching or reading wikipedia or anything while writing) storyline felt kinda lame too. whenever malory had something going on with a rival agency it felt fun but the whole IIA thing was incredibly boring to me. unfortunately no one could ever compare to malory's character in her terrible diva ways that i could never get enough of. and of course no one could do it besides jessica walter.

another thing is a nod to other early season stuff would have been nice. save for barry and katya, it was all post season 5. like woodhouse. or even a one off line about popeye. what about len trexler. rona thorne? was she ever mentioned again? they were relevant in the early seasons! idk. though i do wonder if we're better off without it, maybe the new writers would have fucked it up too much. the new writers probably don't even know who those characters were fghjfkdsgf. in short i feel like the ending forgot a lot about the beginning, and i think most fans would have enjoyed being reminded of the beginning.

anywayyyyyy this was long and ramble-y and probably incoherent but there we have it. after 14 years there goes my favorite stupid little show of all time. seasons 1-4 i can rewatch infinite times (and i'm not kidding when i say i've watched each episode no less than 30 times either actually fully paying attention or as background noise and somewhat paying attention) and will never get tired of. i enjoy season 5 and some of season 6. from there its a very mixed bag and i find it a little disappointing that a show that started off that strong went out kinda weak. i think i personally would have preferred the show ended after season 5 but i know that is not my choice to make. i don't even think they're (the later seasons) that bad, but they could have been so much better. in terms of adult animation this is still the one. and i don't even think i ever said anything about how much i always loved the art style. in the end, it will continue to hold a special place in my heart and be a shitty comfort show and i'm ok with that <3

#talking to myself #archer #archer fx #there. finally!

[koishua]

time to play who's that mutual! which of your moots is mostly likely to:

Start a fight

win the fight

lose the fight

try to break up the fight

become famous

become prom king/queen

win a nobel peace prize

end up in jail

become rich

biggest heartthrob

biggest sweetheart

biggest player

you don't have to do all the questions! :)

im an actual clown it's been months i think and i just saw this stuck in my drafts </3 so sorry for the delay, nonnie, but here are the results based on my very accurate, very reliable, very true observations 😔😔 also these aren't all of my moots i just thought of them first </3

start a fight? @radiorenjun without a single ounce of doubt in my body. also @channoticedmeuwu now that i think about it. both of them unprompted </3

win the fight? @floraljae mostly bc of the height factor and also she scares me sometimes but i love her regardless ig </3 i heart you, roomie!! @spookybias genuinely believe that IF she gets involved in a fight, she'll win one way or the other. it's just the vibes man

try to break up the fight? @rutowonz peacekeeper bless you lol i think it would take her a while before she tries to break up a fight but she does it eventually after she gets her dose of entertainment </33 @seungstarss okay so get this.... a sweetheart lmao but also i just can't see her NOT breaking up an ongoing fight if you know what i mean @goldenhypen bc i think she's very righteous and and would rather use words than fists rofl

become famous? @bluejaem i mean she was born to be a star what else do i even say?? also she already is very famous in nctblr so like huzzah for that y'all i can't believe i have witnessed her grow from 400 to 40000000 </3 @lebrookestore dudes and dudettes and everyone in between, this was a given dnnxnx if not brooke then who else? @starlightjoong but i can't give a proper explanation. i just feel it in my gut her energy is so bright and compelling ugh

become prom king/queen? @niningz you just radiate "worthy of a tiara" energy and im definitely totally correct about that btw @doiefy i mean you're a fairy, fei, so ofc. @interstellix no but i envision a very dramatic reveal and idk why @joshuas again, based off of my very limited but very correct and reliable observation, you're up there as the prom queen candidate </3

win nobel peace prize? @illyzo first Person that instantly came to my mind oml y'all HAVE to agree with me on this one i don't even need to elaborate it's just so obvious @kdyism now listen. it's happening. i don't know how and idk why, but some day she's gonna be awarded a nobel peace prize. i just get the vibes and my vibe detectors are seldom wrong

end up in jail? @eternallyhyucks no hesitation this can and might happen i am so sorry mate </3 you're the only one in this category </3

become rich? @orpheyeux she'll probably create a start-up business and make something so new and unique and will probably gain a lot of money off of that rofl @0429a business woman vibes 300% i just know that she can make big bucks

biggest heartthrob? @enluv idk man i just think coco is the cutest, but not in a totally cutesy sense. just... idk y'all i just see her presence here as the heartthrob like have you seen her blog and posts?? @shoyotime id be doing inez a disservice if i didn't add her to this list </3 hi queen pls accept your position as the tumblr heartthrob @linoragi the interactions lead me to this conclusion :> just radiating the biggest popular highschool heartthrob energy istg

biggest player? honestly i could be more of a player than any one of y'all ngl i don't see much candidates for this one 😔😔 maybe @atrirose but that's a very big and bold MAYBE 😭 y'all's flirting game is weak af im not even joking pls step up the game my friends </3

#ii. ( pt ) —! anon asks. #no one is allowed to disagree with me on these 🤧🤧 /j #also rose my friend idk why tumblr keeps making me unfollow you rofl i think your follow button is broken

[elriell]

The thing I hate about this ship war is that I’ll be reading other sides’ opinions and theories and sometimes I’ll think “oh, I see what they mean. I don’t really agree or interpret it that way, but I can respect this take on it.” And then I keep reading until the end of the post and they finish it with a jab or an insult to the opposing side…and I’m immediately turned off and honestly become kinda salty. Like, is it necessary to insult others while conveying your point?

Sadly it’s not even just one side that does this, and I feel like a lot of the more popular users specifically get followers because of this “no filter” attitude. But I feel like there’s a difference between tearing down theories with evidence or counter arguments (maybe even with a little bit of attitude granted) and straight up mocking and degrading people’s intelligence. If that makes sense…

Anyway, you’ve been in this fandom for a long time so you’ve had to deal with this stuff a lot longer than me so I wanted to hear your take on it 😕

Oh for sureeeee, I mean I think this is what makes communication between both sides a little harder and multi-shipping incredibly difficult for many, because you might attempt to reach out but it is met with hostility. I can count the amount of fandoms I have been able to participate in as a multi-shipper on one hand because of this atmosphere.

It is one of those really hard topics to discuss because I kind of walk the fence in some regards, I think a lot of it comes down to personalities at its base. I mean some people are simply more used to be brash and upfront, others not, cultural impact is another thing to be considered. As someone who has lived all over, in many countries across several continents, there are so many differences with how people present themselves and perceive others.

Some people are really sarcastic, and that is almost their love language, their comfort zone. Others might find it off putting. We have such a wide array of shippers from ALL over and it is hard too narrow it down, if that makes sense? Because what I find rude/abrasive might not be the same for you, and vice-versa.

However, there is most definitely a communication issue in this (and most) fandoms.

The problem only gets worse as time goes on because hurt and resentment towards a majority group builds and impact the overall viewing of said ship/individual. And to be clear no party is innocent in this.

I know for sure there are a lot of things I have seen have altered my perception, my enjoyment of individuals/ships. I know I have certainly lost my patience and felt at wits end due to the ship war and been a little snarky at times. It is hard not to when what filters through is so toxic. We as groups will always see and focus on the bad parts because realistically those are the popular things that get brought up and discussed.

Unfortunately I don't know where the solution lies, if I am honest. Other than finding you niche group of friends that agree and sticking with them, because after a year of back and forth is there any return? Would people even want it? We need a council lmao

I always try and step back and see the bigger picture, and the person behind the screen but all these things are easily said but harder to follow through over time... Another clarification though, insulting someone as a human or their intelligence is of course, never okay. Always be respectful of human beings as people not just a URL/account. I just mean that over time, feelings will build and fester, and there lies the difficult part.

Thank you for bringing this up, it is a wonderfully complicated topic and i would absolutely love anyone's add-on's on their perspective/experience since being in the fandom. I have been here a looooong time, and pre-ACOTAR many years in other fandoms and unfortunately it seems an all to common pattern people fall in to.

Someone needs to draft a peace treaty and settle the war hahahaahah

I hope at least 5% of that made sense.

#acotar fandom #m for ts #replies

[tsukidrama]

j anon ♡

the coolest mf on the planet sent me a review of my most favorite fic i've ever written. i ended up breaking it up for ease of reading as we both ramble more than usual (this is not an issue, you know how i love to talk)

links:

cold hands, cold heart part 2 [nsfw]

(and also part 1 too just in case)

i didn't want the ask to leave my inbox because i've been rereading this every day recently 🥺 you're amazing, can i just say that?

IM LITERALLY SOO GAYY FOR WRITING THAT QLDHEKSJ AND SO ARE YOU FOR THOSE BEIN UR FAVORITE PARTS IWLEUKJDS. seriously though, thank you!! i don't even know how to properly respond to this i just start kicking my little legs happily. the imagery rly is what pulls you into the story 😩 ngl i wrote this so that i would know what it felt like to be there with her in that moment but it's sooo endearing and sweet to hear other people's reactions to reading it, especially for the emotional aspects and not just the steamy bits. omg j, the experience of being understood 💕

oh damn yeah i see why you say that! it's the heavy visual imagery and the association with the moon, too. it makes me feel so 🥰 to know that somebody is out there and making connections between my different works 🥺 that's so personal and i love you so much for it holy shit.

and thank you for the validation too, i feel so seen!! exactly! all the details are essential to the plot and to the experience i'm describing, it literally could not have been shorter. hell, if anything, i could have made it longer.

NONO ITS NOT DUMB AT ALL OMFG THIS IS HONESTLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMMENTS YOUVE EVER MADE! LMAO I HAD TO GIVE IT IT'S OWN SPOTLIGHT WLKEJHWKDJF I AGREE SO HARD! in canon there is no way in hell that they'd have the time or care to make sure their pubes are shaved. i dont like when people give them hairless pussies, i know it's not that deep but i feel strongly about it qjsnemmddn

in my humble personal opinion, Annie would TOTALLY have a bush anyway. always, even in modern AUs. lmao she doesn't give a fuck, and anybody that would take issue with that just wouldn't get anywhere near her pussy to begin with! also pubes are sexy, i said what i said. it's like a welcome mat yknow? soft and inviting.... honey,, i'm home!

YEP THATS IT THATS THE FIC. that's the best way anyone has ever summed up the central point as well as "Annie opened up and gave herself to reader while still holding back deep down". yowch! my heart hurts.

hnmng... yeah. hehe. wouldn't you just die? every single time i reread that scene it still has the same effect of like, needing to hide and bury my face away lololol. why thank you! i do my best to try to do realistic smut in general, it makes me feel closer to them.

GIRL.... you're over here like "does this make sense???" and i'm over here shrieking and dancing because this is like,,, what i've always thought about the fic. nobody but one other friend and my literal wife has ever pointed out to me that they don't think the story is just about sex. like yeah obv they fuck so in that regard it is, but it's not about getting laid. it's about a genuine moment of connection between Annie and somebody who has a very pure love for her, even if it is to the point of naievity. especially if it's to the point of naievity.

they care about each other so much :') it takes a lot to make her cold heart melt (pun intended)... i guess i got you too! aHA caught you slippin ;))

thank you 🥺💕💕 like yeah it's just fanfic but it was also a character study, and my only way of giving a fictional character the love and gentleness that i feel she deserves 💕 I LOVE HER SOOO MUCCHHH 🥺😵

girl stoppp that's such a mood. you should see my drafts. recently i wrote the phrase "in the barn" three times all in the same sentence, it made me cackle. while writing I jus let the spirit flow thru me...... and then i edit like a madwoman to make sure that it's not chickenscratch gobbledygook because it often is at first. lmao i'm not always as well-spoken as people seem to think.

i think that the awkwardness is actually essential! especially since it's their first time. but like i was saying earlier about liking things to be realistic: when having sex, soemtimes you accidentally get trapped in an awkward angle, or slip and smack your partner in the face. it's messy and wet and sweet and funny, and my goal is for my writing to reflect that.

drljlakjdfh like a wwe match 😂 positions are important and worth describing in my opinion! i'm glad you don't think it's too much though, sometimes i worry that it is.

yesssssss kldjfhkaj thank you!!! for the millionth time thank you! hheheh i love the gentle and sweet talking during smut, it means everything to my soft heart. shockingly i haven't written more smut for Annie (it's because i loooooove her it's so EMBARRASSING actually! I used to be smut queen) but i swear to god just u wait until i post more and you see how consistent i am with reader doing things that she likes.... reader remembers.... and do i seem like the kind of person who is going leave my beloved princess and the queen of my LIFE unsatisfied??? i'd die first

I LOVED IT!! sorry i took a while to post my response though! i went back and forth between not wanting to publish it at all (literally i want it in my ask box forever i can never let go) and then being too overwhelmed by my feels to respond coherently akljfdhlasjd I just have a lot to say and so many feelings, I MISS YOU BTW

#j anon #spicy #annie-isms #cottagecanon #my writing #snk #annie leonhardt #annie leonhart #ar/uan/is dont interact oof i shoulda put that higher up in the tags #but fr if any of u shippers try and give your opinion you will be blocked and your comments deleted #this is a wlw blog and i am simply not interested. also i will k!ll you dead #tsuki answers

[staysuki]

Dang, I’m sad that I still don’t get it 😭. Maybe I’m being biased now but Han gave me the vibe that he came to many social conclusions by being emotionally observant. Maybe I’m just frustrated that it was Han, I dunno I just feel like Han was the wrong decision because there wasn’t enough to link him into conflict. This is going to come off the complete wrong way but I felt Han was underdeveloped as a character 🤧 I give you permission to slap the crap out of me. Take everything I say with a grain of salt because I don’t want you to think I’m critiquing you written work in a bad light. Why am I so bad with words in this sense :’)

Omg I sound harsh again, I don’t mean to be but I felt as though Seungmin would have been a more suitable role even if he was sensible. Han I found was more sensible and more self aware than Seungmin which would have made him a far less appropriate choice as the goat. I observed him as the mediator, if anything I thought Han was playing guard. Keeping an eye out to make sure Hyunjin wasn’t going to be a problem or even trying to understand on a deeper level on the situation and maybe even thought that eventually he was going to help fix what was broken but I guess I was wrong. I’m still not sure why the decision was made for it to be Han but I suppose it will be revealed later. Lol I’m being argumentative now 🤦🏼‍♀️. Ugh I hate being the way I am, too analytical and honest.

~ Lovegame anon sounds mean I wanna ugly cry

don't ugly cry, your thoughts are very valid 😭

how do i explain this—

i kinda like how you say that han is underdeveloped as a character, i like the observation and the honesty because you're right, he is.

and he was meant to be underdeveloped in the plain eye.

maybe this is where i went wrong, but i wanted to try a different approach— establishing something before revealing the backstory (kinda like how we established that hyunjin hates y/n before we even got to know why). like i've said before, i use tumblr as a space to experiment writing and a part of that is experimenting with narrative flow

HOWEVER THAT IS NOT AN EXCUSE BECAUSE HALFWAY THROUGH WRITING THE ARC—

ugh i'm kinda exposing myself here but whatever. anyways, so you know how there's this whole mysterious thievery going on, right? well, i found it hard how to write such a suspense especially with how SMAUs and tumblr fics works. in the midst of everything i forgot that "readers knowing" does not equal "characters knowing"—i felt like i HAD to keep you guys in the dark because you embody y/n. honestly that's what led me to write han in such a way. hidden in plain sight, seems like an angel because at the end of the day, this is y/n's story—and the reader is y/n. i honestly hate that i got stuck in that mentality so much, and hence i realize my own shortcomings with the way i tackled the mystery in here 🙇‍♀️ so i apologize for that.

halfway through the arc, i realized that pinning it on seungmin did make sense but at the same time, i feel like i've already established a lot of information that made seungmin innocent

plus i already wrote a ton backstory to be revealed that will explain han's motives—the only problem is that, there really weren't any precursors to it (bc i kinda forgot to do that lmao oopsie, my bad ig—i meant to put it in the nayeon's party chapter but like, after so many revisions, i ended up deleting the part of the draft that had the tidbit about it, i actually even ended up privating chapter 17(?) bc i wanted to add it in but i saw that someone already read it so i was like wHELP).

so now, han's backstory will come out of left field entirely, which i hope is okay, i swear it is something ridiculous (kinda) but i think it makes sense (i think)

also about jisung keeping an eye out, idk if it was you or pizza anon or some other anon, but they were able to pinpoint jisung's "nosyness" correctly. he was keeping an eye out for hyunjin, not just because he cares, but also because he has ulterior motives. he isn't as skilled as felix when it comes to sleuthing so he uses other measures to make sure he's in the know (notice how he's always clueless most of the time and gets upset when he gets left out)

i think one of the vaguest foreshadowing i've ever done was from way back ch.6, when jisung was the only one who wasn't with the gang in the storage room—when they got busted, felix immediately yeeted out of there, showing his disloyalty, and then we were left with seungmin and hyunjin side by side.

either way, jisung being the rat is also me playing more into the "manipulator" role. i love the idea of a sweetheart who knows that he's playing his cards right. i love the idea of a sweetheart that fools everyone because of who he is. the boy who radiates so much love yet it's all for his own benefit—the kind of person that is the most dangerous and scariest of them all, hence why felix is loyal to him, the ever-so-skilled felix acknowledges the skill and strength that han jisung posseses in his own way, a skill that felix might never be able to copy. i just wish i could've foreshadowed it better but then again, i really wanted this to be a secret so oh well 🤰—i feel like i worked on it reversely, instead of dropping clues that pointed towards jisung, i dropped clues that pointed AWAY from seungmin, which probably backfired because that meant more screentime for him lmao—

han will be developed even better in ACT II, it's a bit late but it's here now at least 💔

#slc talks #anon: lovegame #spoilt

[iacon-stargazer]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stolen from @oneshallfall like.... months ago. im a slow gremlin hjksd. it's been in my drafts and i finally decided to finish the last few sections while working on clearing them out

tagging: steal it

MY MUSE IS.   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  Well.../ NO / IDK. (i know optimus is but i don’t really... know about orion? i have seen a handful of fanartists who turn him into a very sexualized moe baby but i’m not sure about the fandom at large)

is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

are they underrated?  YES / NO. (lmao there’s like no fan content with him unless it’s with megatronus) 

were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO.

were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. (not yet.... lol)

how’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

This... this is a trick question in this goddamn mess of a continuity. That said, I try my absolute best to make my portrayal coherent with the TFP show... even if said show contradicts itself at times. I take inspiration from the earlier parts (the thirteen primes section) of the Covenant of Primus for his origin backstory, but ignore the rest of the Covenant since it makes absolutely no sense with his characterization in... literally anything else. I’ve peeked at Exodus and it utterly sucks, but I’ve picked up bits and pieces of concepts that originated there just from spending time in the fandom. Aside from that... I spend a ton of time thinking about how to weave everything together in a way that both makes sense and makes for a character development arc.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.)

Orion is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and introspective, very loving of the world around him.

He’s also a more complex character than is initially obvious - despite mostly being good sweet pure baby nerd he’s still flawed, with many of those flaws being his strengths put into the wrong situation. His strong morals can lead to dogmatism, and he’s only slightly less likely to deliver lectures than Optimus. His determination to be kind and help everyone can come off as unintentionally patronizing at times; he has a very “well-intentioned semi-privileged middle class” perspective that he’s not always self-aware of. However, he’s also willing to look at himself critically and learn/adapt. 

Essentially, he has many of the same traits as Optimus... just more or less apparent and/or developed. He's less confident than he eventually becomes through his future experience with leadership, wanting to change the world for the better but sometimes struggling to ground his plans in reality—something that continues to apply, but with reduced intensity and frequency over time. Idealistic cinnamon roll will eventually develop some realism, though never really quite enough. His selflessness remains a strength for now, but we know that eventually it will dip into martyristic tendencies.

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

He could be potentially ‘boring’ in some senses. he’s the polite, considerate ‘next door’ type, who has for most of his life has just lived as a very average middle caste nobody. He’s more laid-back than he eventually becomes as optimus, but where others might get into trouble and shenanigans he’s most likely to just express concern. And since I try to keep him at least mostly ic, even with non-serious posts, this can derail ‘fun’ stuff and I fear dissuade some interaction.

While I try my best to give him realistic flaws that work with his character, he could still be seen as a little too good. very kind, understanding, forgiving, patient, considerate... almost endlessly so. A lot of my “he’s so good and pure” interpretation comes from using his having been the thirteenth prime as backstory, where he was pretty much the epitome of that, but some might not like the “he was a literal deity in a past life” idea for its “super special chosen one protagonist” elements.

His responsiveness to his environment can also be a downside. He’s not the type to start things; he just reacts and responds, standing his ground and finding himself when things get crazy around him. without megatronus, he may have eventually attempted political campaigning, but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. He needs to have more intense characters or events around him for major plots to really go places. Without those nothing would ever happen besides slice of life fluff, because he’s content with that kind of life.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  

Honestly I just wanted to write op/ratch fhsjkdjsdh. But I also wanted to be able to interact with a variety of muses and so I chose Orion over Optimus because he’s not so emotionally closed off, which I figured would give more flexibility beyond the handful of characters op would reasonably have close personal and/or plot-important relationships with. Also, I can relate to him on a thought-process level which lets me get into his head easily, which additionally made him an appealing choice for my first real rp muse.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  

I just love him so much, especially with the layers of his character I've built up around him. I don't always have inspiration to write or rp, but I think about him a lot. When I do find motivation to write, it's generally out of wanting to continue to work on developing him and just having a chance to express his characterization.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.  (i should do it more...)

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.

are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. (at least most days fhsdhfskj)

are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. (it waxes and wanes. I know I'm a good writer but I could still be better...)

are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

I’ll be honest; I’ve never gotten criticism. I haven’t been here very long in comparison to some and I’ve never been that popular, so I figure I’m pretty easy to just ignore. I guess how I would feel about it would depend on what it was and how it was delivered, though I like to think I would be reasonable regardless

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  

yes? yes absolutely?

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  

I would be curious to hear their reasoning, but I think enough about how everything fits together that chances are I would agree to disagree

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

Depends on if their disagreement makes sense. Maybe I’ll give back my own reasoning for why I characterize the way I do. Maybe I’ll just agree to disagree, if their view is just totally different from mine. If they have valid points I’ll probably overthink it and spiral into self doubt. In all cases I’ll spill my thoughts to friends on discord.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

......Orion in general or? ... fhsjkdhf...... Well if it was mine specifically that might hurt lol. But at the same time.... I doubt i’d agree with their takes either so... fair enough.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  

Sure. I’m good at grammar so if something glaring is there it’s probably a typo I missed and I’ll be grateful for the chance to edit it out before more people see it lol

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  

Yeah. I’m pretty quiet most of the time because I just don’t have energy to talk to a lot of people, and I never want to get caught in drama. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in a situation like that. I tend to avoid conflict, I’m quick to apologize, and polite with anyone I don’t know very well.

#;the art student behind the muse {ooc} #;as for myself... {tag game}

[lamphous]

*star thingy* literally any part of your richie stand up transcript fic

I picked a couple of sections bc rereading this actually made me realize some stuff I was doing but not thinking about. the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma !

(also: I hate reading blocks of bold type so you get this formatting I actually stole from jonathan bennett's edition of "vindication on the rights of women" because I thought it was really neat & easy to read lol.)

[original on AO3]

so, I wrote this in a daze in two weeks after a bad day on a stressful weekend, half sick with a perpetual cold and getting my ass kicked by the uk higher ed system. I wrote 13k of jokes in two weeks without thinking (plus half a sequel, which is still in my drafts) and realized it was... kinda good? so I did some fun formatting, posted it, and it exploded lmao. apparently some blue check fandom person tweeted it, but I didn’t find that out until almost a year later 

•••

[Applause, minor microphone feedback, and the sound of a camera's digital focus.] • I looove a formal experiment. Every time I write something weird of center structure-wise it immediately becomes one of my all-time favs. The unfinished sequel does even more with this (I made a title card...) with intercut doc interviews with the other Losers (which I wrote BEFORE I watched Jenny Slate's special, THANK you very much) and like cinematography and shit lmao. Also I just love the sound of old video cameras focusing. •

Hello hello. Hi. Yeah. • As a general rule, I actually don't really picture, like, bodies while writing or reading, but I'm incredibly anal about characters sounding right, which is why I can only ever write one fandom at a time, otherwise my internalized character voices get all mixed up. So, while I'm not picture Mssr Bader while writing, I am 100% hearing him, and for some reason this line just locks that in for me. • [Applause continues.] Getting the feeling you guys are waiting for something—either that or you have no idea what's coming, which, honestly, makes more sense based on the excitement level. If you don't know who I am, sorry in advance. • While on the top of advance apologies, I really did write this to be... not totally funny? There are some very purposeful parts where the rhythm falters or things aren't as funny as they should be/Richie seems to think they are (some parts are even purposefully unfunny to him too, it's got layers) because I really wanted this to be a transitional state. It's not quite all there, and it's practiced, certainly, but not with an audience. He's trying something new! We're very proud. • [Laughter.] My name is Richie Tozier. I was a comedian, and then I was a hermit, • I love describing myself as a hermit. I'll admit, that hits different in 2021, but I stand by it: ideal occupation. • and now I'm trying to be a comedian again. So bear with me and get ready for more dick jokes and shitty impressions than you'd hope to hear from a grown man. [Applause and whoops.]

No, actually, things are actually gonna be a little different. Um, I don't have a ghost writer anymore? Which I'm not sure if I'm allowed to talk about, but who the fuck is gonna know but you, my hundred closest friends? [Laughter.] I feel like I trust you guys to keep a secret, but maybe that's the false intimacy of a darkened room talking. • I am a terrible actor, I always have been, friends would try to get me to do skits as a kid and I would giggle nervously through the whole thing because I just hated it so much, but I love the feeling of being on a stage with the lights up so all you can see are the other people there with you. My band geekery comes up later too, but this made me miss that so much. • Maybe we should just do therapy instead. Do you guys wanna do therapy? [Applause.] Okay, so my therapist says I use gross out sex jokes to project the kind of person I wish I was: a person who is funny and has sex. • This is one of my favorites of the not!jokes lmao. • [Like a tiny amount of laughter.] I don't know why she said it like some big revelation, but yeah. Duh. I am a human person, of course I want people to think I'm hilarious and that I fuck. And it turns out now that I am having sex, all the time—and I'm sorry, I know that sucks to hear when you've never felt the sweet embrace of a lover, I get it, but it's just so great to say that and not immediately get a laugh at the idea of you having sex. This is a level of self-esteem I didn't even know existed. • I'm imagining Richie's new comedy as halfway between Mike Birbiglia and Ali Wong (an insane combo, I know), but this is all Chris Fleming. He would love, "My self-esteem is never anywhere good. I'm either like a pre-teen at her Bat Mitzvah, dissociating doing 'Greased Lightning' choreography, or I'm on my way to the DMV to change the occupation on my driver's license to 'queer icon.'" •

But it turns out now that I'm not pretending to have sex I don't have to pretend to be funny either, I can just actually do both, and all my problems are solved! Thank you therapy for getting me laid and paid. • So glad to have this opportunity to remember this line before going back to therapy where I will be thinking it all the time. • And it's not like I'm gonna turn into a saint. I don't think they let saints be comedians. Mother Theresa never did a tight thirty. • This has unfortunately become one of those things I quote to myself, which is probably narcissistic but I don't care. After all, Mother Theresa never did a tight thirty. • [Little laughs.] And just because I didn't take that obvious cheap shot—except, I guess I just did. [Laughter.]

So yes, there will still definitely be dick jokes, just fewer— I feel like my comedy—"my" comedy, but whatever, I told the jokes, I'll own it—but my comedy appeals to a very... nerd-adjacent dudebro type. • Richie was on @/midnight. Look me in the eyes and tell me he wasn't. Look at me. You know that bitch was on the Nerdist podcast. • You know, the sort of guy who always wished he could crush a can of beer on his forehead but never could, and used to spam you with those shitty eCards where they'd, like, put your face over some cartoon elves chopping up a dead body or something for Christmas. Remember those? • REMEMBER THOSE?? The height of comedy. • Or like guys who make fun of gross Rick and Morty fans but are one breakup away from being gross Rick and Morty fans. The human equivalent of vaped PBR fumes. I'm just gonna keep throwing proper nouns titles etc until it sounds like I'm actually saying something. • This is how I talk in real life. Apparently people find it funny; I think it's just because my references vary so wildly that the juxtaposition catches people off-guard. • Can you tell that the reason I brought this up is in case these jokes uniformly bomb? [Laughter.] Guess applause for my possible failure still stings.

Basically, any minute now I'm expecting a thank you Edible Arrangement from Chris D'Elia for the sudden surge in fans defecting from Team Trashmouth. • Look, I'll admit, I used to watch @/midnight and always thought he was the funniest when he was on. I watched a few episodes of Whitney! Then three years ago I actually watched one of his specials with a friend (right after I made her watch Showpig) and realized I haaated him lol. And since then he's turned out to be a total creep! I love being right. • [Laughter.] I really am. Y'know, and he'll probably bribe someone to make all the pineapple dick shaped or something, [Laughter.] combining my two favorite things: gay jokes at my expense and novelty shaped fruit. • Fruit (novelty shaped). • Also it's just useful. My husband is always warning me about getting scurvy, and— [Laughter.] Yeah, it would be nice to avoid that speech for the night.

That's not a joke, actually. I know this is a comedy show, but that's one hundred percent serious, my husband has a lecture on scurvy, complete with statistics that yes, are "periodically updated to reflect new research," I shit you not. Which is obviously insane, because we live in a major metropolitan area and not on a pirate ship in the seventeenth century or a frat house in the any time ever, but it does mean we always have orange juice in the house. That's why I will never, ever seriously complain about the scurvy lectures, because the tradeoff is him keeping me in the finest orange juice money can buy, • This is partially based off that bit in Ronan Farrow's Catch and Kill where Jon Lovett says, "I'll keep you in finery and smoothies." When he's indignant that the surveillance guys gave up tailing him because he's too boring and he's like, "I'm interesting! I'm an interesting person! I went to an escape room!" Yeah, Eddie. • and that is absolutely fucking worth it.

•••

So then I called the Best Friend in my phone with the other set of heart emojis [Laughter.] and I said, "Hey, do you think it's cool if I refer to our middle school band director as a dyke? Because she definitely was." • I never had a Ring of Keys Moment the way apparently everyone else did, but I did have an INCREDIBLY cool band teacher in middle school who was the only woman I'd ever seen play the trumpet (for some reason it was a de facto Boy Instrument) and who had cool short hair and cool glasses and cool taste in music and ran the very cool jazz band. And then about four years ago, I went to a choir festival my dad was in, and one of the other groups was a gay choir, and lo and behold... So I'm retconning that as my Moment. Thanks, Kelly! • And Bev said, [Turns to one side] "You know I'm bisexual, and also l took choir." [Turns back.] "I know." [Turns again.] "Well, as long as it's not overly derogatory you're probably fine." • This is me and my best friend (except I'm also a dyke, so I don't need to ask for permission, but the rest is true). Whenever I write Bev and Richie/Eddie (which I am the unfortunate conflation of), it's based off our dynamic. •

I'm pretty sure half of why she said that was because she knew how hard joke writing was going already and didn't want to wreck my burgeoning confidence— [Laughter.] Hey, fuck you, I'm fragile! [More laughter.]

It's hard. Comedy is hard. I don't know if I'm allowed to only start complaining about it this deep into my career, but in my defense I didn't really know until now. Writing jokes? Sure, it can be tough. Telling jokes? Easiest thing in the world, just slap some wacky inflection on someone else's words. But writing your own jokes and then saying them out loud to people? So much harder!

Cuz suddenly it's all on you. • This is the realization I was talking about at the start. So, I was only sort of thinking about it while writing, but reading back it seems so obvious that the connection between the ars comedia theme of the first half and the parenting theme of the second half is this concept of doing something you know you're going to suck at and that's a huge, vulnerable responsibility. If I were to write this again now, I'd definitely make that more overt, but it's interesting to me that that's how it came out. Responsibility and vulnerability are two things I think about a lot wrt adult Richie, both in terms of where his career could go post-canon and in his personal relationships—having people you care about that care about you makes things changes a lot—but in this fic they're kind of split up: vulnerability goes with comedy, responsibility goes with personal life. But the impetus of both are present in each! The anecdote about his grandmother's stuff shows the vulnerability (or lack thereof) in parenting, the faux-glibness about the ghost writing implies responsibility (read: guilt). Very cool, good job, my own subconscious! • You can't blame it on the writer sucking, or the delivery sucking, because all the sucking is on you—and I'll have you know, I'm a pro at sucking, yes in all the ways you're thinking, • (Purposeful lack of "[Laughter.]") • but sucking in the bad way, in public, never feels good. [Quiet and contemplative.] Really prefer the other sucking... [Laughter.] Thank you. Thank you for confirming what I've known my entire life: dick jokes are the pinnacle of all comedy.

•••

• The following story is 100% true, except we were in Pennsylvania, there was no payphone (had to go outside for cell service, though), and my aunt lived even further upstate in New York. • Sometimes even the shit you thought you dealt with turns out to be bullshit. I actually was halfway through a bit about the time my mother and I emptied out her mother's storage unit before it got weird. I was, like, twenty-one, at college in New York, but they moved as soon as I left that first year to Toronto, of all places. • This was all a long con for the fic I never finished about Richie and Eddie's hurry-up-and-wait Niagara Falls shotgun wedding. Parts of it ended up in Brenda Lee duology, here and here, but there's more in my drafts somewhere that I'm sure I'll get around to finishing when I'm working on my thesis and thus thinking about these two lol. • She called a few weeks before the end of the year and said she wanted to come down and help me move out, which was weird until she mentioned that on the way back she wanted to stop and visit my aunt, and then, when she picked me up, that we were going to finally empty my grandma's storage stuff cuz my aunt didn't want to pay for it anymore. She's from New York, and her mom died when I was in middle school, and apparently all this stuff was just sitting there for years.

This doesn't— Every single face here is projecting, "Jesus, alright dude, is there a joke? Please tell me there's a joke," so violently I can feel how much psychic damage I'm taking, brain cells dribbling away. • This whole section is the Mike Birbiglia coming out, but like hell is Richie letting me get away with this much seriousness without making fun of himself. • It sounds super heavy, I know, but it really wasn't. There wasn't time for any of that. We spent all day either driving up and down New York or actually packing shit. My mom thought the key to the storage was with her uncle in Levittown, where the unit was, but it turned out it was up with my aunt up in Rochester, so we had to pack up all my shit, move out, drive up to Rochester, wait for my aunt to get off work, get the fucking key, spend the night at a motel cuz it's fucking torrential outside, leave around noon because it's still pouring, drive back to Levittown, through rush hour traffic, and only then can the shitshow begin.

By the time we got the thing open it was like three hours before they closed and raining again. Apparently since my aunt last checked like a month before some mold had gotten inside, and we had to work through every box with this clinical speed, running things out to the car or to the payphone just outside the storage place to call my aunt like, [A voice that, despite not knowing what Richie's mom sounds like, everyone can tell is exactly like the real life Maggie Tozier:] "Hey, did you want the carousel horse trivet or can I have that? Richie wants the ceramic frog—" It was a super cool frog, it had a huge mouth, I always felt a kinship with it. "Rich wants the frog, did you— Ohhh, she called dibs, sweetie, I'm sorry." • Actually she wanted the frog and I wanted the carousel horse trivet, but we are frogs and Richie eats bugs. • Standing out in the rain debating who gets what of the fucking cheap shit from the Jersey shore and filling garbage bags full of dried up Post-Its and expired makeup.

•••

[Richie sets the mic on the stand and leans on it contemplatively as the crowd laughs.] Who the fuck would even let me be a dad? I never even learned how to spell refrigerator, • One of the actually good things I remember of my dad growing up was when I was in first grade I knew how to spell "Wednesday" and he said that already put me ahead of most college students. • how am I supposed to teach a kid, like, how to lead a good life? I don't know shit. I'm pretty sure eighty percent of being a dad is knowing all the answers to "why" questions and, hopefully, not irreparably fucking up your kid, cuz the bar is underground. Me as a dad would be like the dad from Calvin & Hobbes but worse, just making up the most insane shit whenever the kid asks, "Why is the sky blue?" and "How do they get the ink in pens?" or whatever. • There's a part in the The Newsroom (which is not a great show, sure, but I am inexplicably convinced Neal and Jim should have dated so I rewatch it once every couple of years) where one of the characters suggests another teaches their kid a weird lie, like that birds are born from trees or something, to see how long they can keep it up before the kid finds out it's wrong. It's like two lines of dialogue in the last episode and a complete non sequitur that no one addresses and it haunts me. What. Like... what. • Which is great for a comic strip, and a stand-up comic, but probably not for actually raising a kid.

I think maybe I could be a mom. From what I remember, being a mom is about: step aerobics, knowing how to make mac and cheese not from a box, and watching old movies. That's... pretty much it. [Laughter.] • In order: something my mom remembers of my grandma, something they did together, and something me and my mom do together. •

My mom is definitely a mom for, like, after you're a kid. No shame, she just wasn't super great at parenting. Like— [Laughter.] No, I mean, guiding a kid through the process of growing up was not her forte. Which is fine! She's a great mom now that I'm a fully realized human being with opinions that she can talk to, but as a kid, like, I was weird, and she didn't really "get" kids in general, so we would watch fucking TCM and she would politely smile at my terrible imitations of whatever the fuck Katharine Hepburn had going on and that was pretty much the extent of our relationship. • I loooove Maggie Tozier in the books, I love that she's, like, not super great but also just completely fine. She's not a monster, she's not abusive, she just doesn't quite understand her kid. There's a tendency in fandom (or at least there was, idk if it's still a trend) to make her either the best, coolest mom in existence or, y'know, a monster. And I think that sucks! She's just a normal person in a weird town with a kid who's not quite what she signed up for. •

And then once I had, like, autonomy and opinions and shit, and could call her up like, "Hey, kinda fucked up how much food costs, have you heard about this guy called Bob Dylan, • My mom fucking loves to tell the story of how, when I was in the fourth grade and starting to Listen to Music after becoming obsessed with the Beatles, I asked her, "Hey Mom, have you ever heard a band called the Rolling Stones?" Like all the music I knew didn't come from her! She had only herself to blame. • what do you think about the new Scorsese?" • I had just seen The Irishman in a tiny theater in London with like three pensioners and a drunk grad student and my mom was so mad at me for seeing it without her. Once my mom and I had to rewind the opening of Goodfellas three times because we kept cheering too loudly when the title card and music kicked in. • Then we got a little closer.

•••

There are really way too many ways to fuck up a kid, • They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. • and I don't mean like colic or accidentally letting them eating batteries or whatever. • Haha, this is from the MBMBaM bit about kid firefighters, when Justin says, "Think of all the stupid shit you have to do as an adult. And I don't just mean lying to your mechanic that you know how to do things." • I remember being a kid and doing an impression of the grumpy neighbor for the first time and my dad laughing so hard he shot milk out his nose, and now I'm a comedian. • There are very few things more satisfying than making someone do a spit take or anything of the like. The ego boost alone... • [Laughter.] That one laugh set my entire path in life. When you're a kid you start out knowing nothing, so every time something happens it's like a huge proportion of all the things you know. • This line/concept HAUNTS me. I have no idea why, but it's stuck in my brain. I was writing a SPN fic last month and realized 5k deep in it, "Oh, duh, 'when you start out knowing nothing, everything is such a bigger deal'." • I had a cousin whose mom used to dress him in a lot of orange cuz he was always running off and she wanted to spot him in a crowd, and to this day, the motherfucker is still always wearing something orange. • This is my brother lmao. When he first started walking, he was always running off, so my mom would dress him like a traffic cone, and then his favorite color was orange for the first, like, eighteen years of his life. •

So much hinges on the tiniest things. What if we got a kid, like, space sheets and they grew up wanting to be an astronaut and then died in a shuttle explosion? I can't be held responsible for that! They were just on sale! [Laughter.] I didn't think they'd lead to an early death. Maybe if we'd gotten the dinosaur ones they would've become a paleontologist. That's a nice, safe career—well, Jurassic Park, but that would be cool. But still fatal! And now buying sheets is a matter of life or death. I don't think I can handle that kind of responsibility.

I guess that's the question, really. It's not "should we have kids, are we ready," but "how exactly would we fuck up a child and is it worth it to risk that." Maybe they'd end up way too much like me and get sent to the iPrincipal3000's office every week, or too much like my husband and become so convinced that they have asthma that they start genuinely having asthma. Maybe no matter what we do they'll get their own fun list of ways their parents fucked them up to never repeat. One thing's for certain, though: that kid would never get scurvy. • I was SO proud of this line. In my excitement, I spelled half of it wrong the first time I wrote it. It's my favorite part of every comedy show, when an earlier bit suddenly pops up at the end and cinches the whole thing together. •

[Wild applause.] Thank you everybody, my name is Richie Tozier and I hope you weren't disappointed. • In some ways, I guess you could hear this like the end of Bo Burnham's Make Happy, but to me it's always more... sweet? Not so sad, just suddenly very genuine, almost childishly so. He really does hope they weren't disappointed. •

[Richie smiles and sort of bows, in the way you do when you feel like this is a bowing occasion, but going all out would look weird and you're honestly not sure how to bow without being sarcastic. • Completely forgot til but but this was 1000% me making fun of myself for doing exactly that in front of this girl I fell head over heels for, not thirty minutes after we met. I deserve that. • The recording ends here. • And BOOM, last minute House of Leaves reference. Got it in right under the wire! • ]

#blargh my shitty keyboard keeps trying to post this too soon hang on #ok all fixed now ! #thank you for the solidarity my friend (also i saw your dw community i might crosspost if i can remember my password lol) #avocadomooon #achievement unlocked: message answered #fic writer tag #it 2017

[done-mer-moved]

i Also don't know ur OCs but: 1, 4, 5, 8, 15, 22, 23, 24, 25, 33, 42, 50, 54, 56, 61, 73, and 78 please? -drunkmiraak

[[LKdghlkj sorry this took so long!! I got super sick so it sat half-done in my drafts for 84 years. @drunkmiraak]]

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

So, while I’ve got half a billion OCs by technicality, my main idiot is Azaryne Redoran who takes the role of the Vestige in the ESO story I write with @sinnaroll by the name of Soulbound. (Ima also just casually pass on these questions for her to answer in reply for D'tannen, who is the other main character in this thingy so you can get to know him too!)

Thank you so much for asking!! Here we gooooo~!

1. What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

Az’s main nickname is the self-explanatory name shortening from “Azaryne” to “Az”. But D'tannen has kinda stuck on jabbing him with “pretty boy” to the point where it’s basically a nickname lol 

Also, in-game plot reasons dictate that the Five Companions also know him by “Vestige”, much to his dismay. It’s what the Scrolls named him by, so the Prophet tends to slip and refer to him that way, and the others kinda do too by proxy for a while. However, after Az makes it clear that he’s really uncomfortable with it, Lyris and Sai specifically make a point not to call him that.

4. What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

So I memed twice earlier before I got to these questions lasdgkh gomen, but my goofier answers are Dorito Shape and Resting Trouble Face

But more seriously, one of his major notable physical features is that he’s pretty much covered in tattoos from his neck down past his waist and starting down his legs. They’re being redesigned from scratch right now because I can’t ever allow myself to have characters that can be adequately represented in game i guess lmfao but here’s the in-game tattoos with some photo-editing for an earlier visual draft on where they might cut off—

It’s a total personal headcanon but I decided that since the in-game body marking style was pretty clearly influenced by Maori-style kiriituhi, that Az’s tattoos are also highly significant in a similar way. Each piece symbolizes or connects to either his ancestry, or his own life and skills and milestones. His designs weren’t finished, but have the indication of where they were meant to continue as he hit new points in his life. Unfortunately, since his life was cut so short, that’s as far as they ever get.

On a lighter note, he also has pretty big ears?? Lmao

5. What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

He likes clothes that are comfortable but flattering. He knows what his assets are and enjoys looking well-dressed – a bit of a remnant from his previous life as a noble. 

He tends to favor sleeveless tops and cool-colored fabrics with neutral accents. He particularly likes blues of all shades, and some purples. He’ll also occasionally wear red. On his travels he wears leather armor that fits within these features, and notably has a Khajiiti-style jack because he liked the aesthetic of it when he saw the style in a tailor’s display. 

When he’s dressing up, he’ll wear more flowing robe-like attire. He had more reason to do so while he was alive, and at the time it was usually specifically Dunmeri cultural clothing. Over the course of Soulbound, he only dresses up the once so far for a date with Sinna. That takes place in Orsinium, so it’s Orcish formal wear. 

Even if the situation’s not a fancy one, though, he’ll usually still wear kohl eyeshadow, which D’tannen gives him shit for, of course lol.

8. How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like?

Az’s voice is light, crisp, warm and friendly. It’s between tenor and baritone in range, and the expected Dunmeri accent. He’s well spoken, and you can tell he’s well educated, but his phrasing isn’t snobbish or condescending, and there’s a firm sort of sincerity to his speech, even when he’s being playful.

15. What was your OC’s childhood like?

Az’s childhood was a little complicated in that it came with a great deal of privilege, but also a great deal of expectation. He was noble-born— the eldest son of House Redoran’s Archmaster— so before he was even old enough to have an awareness of the world, his parents had already decided many things about his future. 

In spite of both this and the constant pressure of the Redoran philosophy that “a light, careless life is not worth living”, Az had an untamable spirit that continuously tried his parents’ patience. As a child, his impulsivity, tendency to bend the rules, and headstrong defiance on points he fundamentally disagreed with led to frequent discipline, and a particularly strained relationship with his father.

Over time, he begrudgingly learned to play by the rules, but would still disappear from time to time for brief moments of freedom. 

He had two younger siblings— Eralane and Meril, and they had very close and loving relationships with each other. Az always did his bes to see right by them, so they felt safe in knowing that he would always have their backs. They didn’t ever keep much from him, as a result, and Meril specifically often looked up to him as a role model.

By the time he was fourteen, he’d been arranged into a political betrothal to solidify clan relations within the House, and it was decided that the two would be married in 16 years when they were both fully grown adults. Neither he nor his intended fiancée were really comfortable with this, but even as young as they were, they knew it was a sticky situation far bigger than just the two of them. So, they quickly established that, future aside, they didn’t feel entitled to each other’s feelings. They would both rather have a straightforward, honest friendship than try to force things between them. 

Because of this, there was no tension when other chemistries developed in later years. Instead, they continued to ignore their inevitable marriage, and turned their performative date nights into formally-dressed vent and gossip sessions. Using the expectations put upon them to their advantage as they got older, they also happily became each other’s alibi when either of them needed time away with other people.

22. Who is/are your OC’s closest friend(s)?

Since arriving back on Tamriel, he’s been shuffling company a lot on his journeys. He’s also pretty introverted, despite being fairly socially adept. He doesn’t have any real connections from his previous life anymore, but has met many people and made casual friends and positive acquaintances with a solid chunk of new ones.

In terms of more serious friendships, D’tannen is honestly the closest, which is kind of incredible honestly laksdhg. But, they travel with each other day in and day out, so there’s a tight bond there that’s developing fast.

He’s also particularly attached to Irvane, who was his first friend since coming back to Nirn.

23. Who are the people your OC surrounds him/herself with?

Along the same lines as I just said above, he’s never in one place for very long right now, so he is constantly around new people. His kind heart and need for hands-on activity means he tends to gravitate toward people he can help in some way or another. His empathy and sense of honor do most of the weeding. He’d rather be around someone who has shown good intentions, even if they are rough around the edges, than someone who rests on the laurels of past deeds and judges others against themselves.

24. Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

It’s pretty damn hard to make this list, at least if you have any sort of good bone in your body. He’s really very empathetic and patient, and will forgive so quickly once he feels amends have been made that it’s honestly gotten him into trouble.

But, even with that said, he’s got some strong resentments for some strong reasons… Notably: Mannimarco and his Worm Cult, ol’ Molag Bal himself, and pretty much anyone who allies with them… Malacus is another name that quickly finds its way on the list under “kill unflinchingly” as he becomes closer with D’tannen.  

25. If your OC has a soulmate, who is it?

oh my god im so sorry this joke is just right here its too easy to grab i can’t help myself – 

Doesn’t a soulmate require… a soul…? 

33. What subjects interested your OC?

He’s always done whittling as a hobby, so he’s currently kinda advancing on that in woodcarving. Since he was also trained in maintaining and repairing his own weapons and armor in life, that’s carried over into an interest in actually crafting weapons on his own. He does wind up making his own bow way later on, and even spends a bit of time with the Morkul Orcs in the Orsinium arc learning to do some metalwork.

42. What makes your OC happy?

He’s very attached to his dog Blackjack, and the mutt can always seem to pick him up when he’s otherwise faltering. He loves whittling and tends to carve little objects to occupy his mind. Complicatedly, D’tannen makes him happy as well, lol. 

He also tends to have moments where he finds happiness in specific things, but the emotion related feels strange or misplaced. When this happens, it’s usually because whatever he’s experiencing— a particular sight or smell or flavor— is something that ties directly to a positive memory he’s lost from his life before. A sort of unwitting-nostalgia that’s hard to pinpoint or replicate.

As a general rule, he’s pretty easily contented. He lives very much in the moment, which combined with his adaptability and natural optimism, means that he’s usually able to find some small spark of cheer for himself anywhere he goes. He’s always wanted the freedom of life as an adventurer, so if circumstances were different, this would honestly be an ideal life for him. However, it’s pretty dampened by the stress of current events, along with the nagging restless and hollow feeling of having lost his soul.

50. What secrets does your OC have?

This is a bit of a tricky one. He’s not a super open person, but he also doesn’t like to lie to cover things up. However, there are many things about his life at present that he finds he has to dance around giving knowledge of. In some ways, the very nature of his current existence is something he keeps tucked away. It’s not very easy to explain to anyone, so he’s grateful that for the majority of the people he interacts with, direct questions never really come up.

In the second act of Soulbound, however, after he becomes very close with Sinna, Sinna asks him directly for his story. He dodges it for quite some time before finally giving him the details, but he’s kind of nervous at that point to state it. He doesn’t know how Sinna might react. But, he lays it out on the table anyway: He’s not truly alive. He’s what remained of himself after he was sacrificed by cultists to Molag Bal. His soul was stolen, and he has only vague pieces of memories from when he lived. And now, he’s been prophesied to assist in stopping a daedric invasion. 

Sinna’s response was heartfelt. But, nobody could blame him for the fact that all he could manage for a brief moment after listening was “Wild….”

54. Does your OC think with his/her head or heart?

Heart… His upbringing tried its best to instill an ability to detach for the sake of duty, but honestly, he’s never been able to. Even when he knows there’s no way he can avoid a difficult situation, and is able to approach it tactically, emotion will be gnawing at him all the while, and he’ll be completely staunch on the things he believes the most if those interfere with the “logical” course of action.

56. What are some of your OC’s strengths?

He’s honestly got a wide range of skills in a lot of ways. He’s a highly skilled archer, and has a very well-rounded set of combat and survival skills that have been hardwired into him since a very young age. He’s also got a great sense of aesthetics, which he likes to express in woodworking and whittling when he can. He’s intelligent, but a lot of his skill specifically in emotional/social intelligence comes from his powerful empathy, and how dramatic swings of circumstances in his life have given him many perspectives to draw from, even subconsciously through the massive amnesia he struggles with. He’s incredibly adaptable. He’s intensely loyal, courageous, and firmly optimistic even through the worst circumstances. He’s got an incredibly strong character to him, and it tends to be both charming and inspiring, even when he doesn’t recognize that he’s producing these effects himself.

61. What is the general impression your OC gives other people?

Honest. Empathetic and selfless. Good-natured, down to earth, and a bit wild-spirited. Patient, incredibly forgiving. Helpful. Playfully charming. A protector. A defender of good.

73. What is your OC’s favorite form of entertainment?

He likes art, stories, nature, animals, and adventure. Crafting from time to time as well.

78. What is your OC’s favorite time of day?

Late morning. The point in the day when you’re up and awake and setting off. The whole day lies in wait before you, and you’re ready to meet it

#eso #the vestige #dunmer #redoran #the elder scrolls online #drunkmiraak #thank you again!! <3 #az #azaryne #soulbound

[serenagaywaterford]

was I the only one who thought tuello was going to mention the 2x10 rape and not the nick thing when he arrested serena??? like, obviously I understand the thing with nick was rape regardless, but she did ask them both and june would've ended up in the colonies had she not gotten pregnant while the 2x10 rape doesn't really have any sustainable justification behind it. I don't see "I was in a mood and wanted the baby to come faster" working in court (1/2)

and I guess you can argue there's no way to prove that that rape happened, but serena got arrested before any paternal test was done so it seems as if fred's word is enough?? I guess they can get the test done later and confirm it, but I don't know, I feel like there's a way out of this for serena whilst I don't think there would've been a way out if they had proof of what happened in 2x10. I just find this flimsy. (2/2)

---

No, you weren’t! I honestly... I thought it was going to be about her actual war crimes, like her blatant terrorism against the US, conspiracy to blow up state capitols, and overthrowing a democratic government via war. But hey, that’s too easy lol. Like, why on earth Fred wouldn’t turn her in for THAT, which are HUGE crimes that the ICC/Americans/etc would actually be interested in is beyond me. Oh wait, no it’s not, cos this is The Handmaid’s Tale and they don’t know shit about law or politics, or at this point common fucking sense. It’s a soap opera now.

I’m just so irritated by that whole “Let’s arrest Serena for rape!” concept because it’s entirely based on a) an individual and singular crime against a single person on foreign (sovereign) soil; not a war crime (so why the ICC would have ANYTHING to do with it is beyond me) and b) FRED WATERFORD’S WORD. Because suddenly they believe everything an admitted war criminal is saying against the woman who literally turned him in???? No, nothing suspect about that at all.

(The American government may have an interest because they do get involved in individual crimes against Americans on foreign soil. But then it gets into whether June is still an American, legally. And whether Serena is. Which is super confusing and murky. I’d say June is, and Serena likely isn’t since she probably renounced her US citizenship, but I’m also not a legal scholar or lawyer. And whether the international community even considers Gilead its own country, or just some type of military occupation on American soil. SO COMPLICATED. This is why the show should have just stayed away from all of this trash.)

I mean, we know Fred’s not lying about what happened to June then but the fact Tuello & Co. just take his word at face value with NO corroboration is absolutely fucking mental. 

Not to mention, how the FUCK does Fred even know about that? All he knows is that June got pregnant with Nick’s baby. Was he secretly listening the entire time to everything Serena has said? Cos, let’s take a step back for a second and think rationally about how the hell Fred would have access to that information lol. Serena, from what we saw, was incredibly discreet about setting it up. Was Fred actually lurking in her bushes when she talked to June about it? Was he around when Serena supposedly spoke to Nick about it? (We don’t know where that was but probably either in Nick’s apartment or in the car.) So, does Fred actually have the whole house bugged? LOLOLOLOL. Even if he saw Serena bringing June out to Nick’s apartment, he has no idea what anybody’s thoughts or feelings were about that. Serena and June could have easily been in on it together, and there was no rape involved at all! He doesn’t know that. Did he sneak up to Nick’s second floor window and watch how fucking WEIRD that whole thing was? LMAO.

To me, the fact Fred knows all that is a fucking big plot hole. He didn’t before. But suddenly he knows Serena set up Offred’s rape by Nick? Did she tell him that? Cos that would be insane of Serena to do and completely OOC. All Serena’s said is that “HA HA! The baby isn’t yours, you manky chode!”

Anyway...

To be frank, I have a post--quite a long one--sitting in my drafts about how incredibly asinine and unrealistic that charge against Serena is as a “war crime”, not to mention how weak it is just from a legal standpoint, even if we would take it as a regular rape charge. (She would literally never be found guilty, lbr. There is no solid legal basis for it (there is a flimsy one) and when you consider her defense--which is way more solid than the charge--the chances of anybody ever prosecuting her for that, let alone convicting her, are so incredibly thin, even if it was just as a regular rape crime, not a war crime.) She’d be more likely charged with something like sex trafficking or procuring (prostitution) or coercion or accessory to rape and/or conspiracy to rape. (And she’s clearly guilty of those things). Not the rape itself. It’s so! fucking! stupid! Sex trafficking would be SO much more solid of a charge cos essentially that is what she did...

She didn’t rape June in that instance much more than she murdered those kids Fred shot in the woods. She’s a shitty fucking person for putting that idea in his head, and basically saying, “Go do this for me, you pathetic little man” but she didn’t actually say the words, nor did she commit the actual crime herself. (Heyyyyaaa Lady Macbeth!) Both Fred and Nick were acting of their own free will. 

(Honestly, I will go on forever about how Nick is NOT some innocent, helpless creature. He’s a MAN (aka automatic superiority over any woman), and an EYE (AN EYE, YOU GUYS!!!! The most elite of the Gilead intelligence forces!!!), and to refuse Serena’s request would be EXPLICITLY FOLLOWING THE LAWS OF GILEAD and there is NO WAY he would ever, ever be punished by Gilead for that lmao--for following the law. If he reported Serena to Fred or even Pryce, Serena would be fucking punished--probably with death or Colonies (which is just prolonged death). And he’d have June’s supporting testimony too! What part of this misogynistic fascist state are you people missing? A lowly woman trying to make a man break the law and defile another man’s property?! HAHAHAHA. As if they’d take Serena’s side. Nick is a fucking Eye. There are instances where they do take a woman’s side, like with Janine’s random accusation--but significantly: Warren was BREAKING the law, not upholding it as Nick refusing to rape Offred and turning Serena in would have been following the law. To me, it never ever made sense that the men would just turn on their own like that over a literally mentally-ill Handmaid’s suicidal admission. I think, when it comes down to it, Naomi’s contribution made it “two witnesses” to the crime. Like, if you look at most religious texts or cult texts, they generally require more than just the victim. Some require at least 2, some 3 individuals. So for Gilead to require nothing but victim outcry is bonkers and not consistent with the type of society they claim they’ve built in the series. BUT ANYWAY, that’s a big digression...

Like miss me with that complete utter rape-apologist bullshit. He literally took advantage of the situation to put his dick inside a woman who did not essentially consent to it in that particular situation. Or, if you’re going to argue she did cos she wuvs Nick and wanted to anyway, then your case against Serena falls apart too.)

The only thing I don’t see as being up for debate is that June was raped. That’s it. That is clear and certain. It’s fact. June was raped in that apartment. (She’s raped a lot, obviously, but this was also rape. Nothing else.)

And the creepy part is by doing that she actually did save June’s life. Which is all shades of massively fucked up, and probably not her intention, but here we are. And it seems to be a big part of why June went along with the plan. If Serena hadn’t set up a rapey fuck session for Nick (which he LITERALLY COULD HAVE SAID NO TO AT ANY TIME WITH ZERO CONSEQUENCES and they could have fucked completely consentually another time), June never would have started sleeping with Nick (they had almost 2 years and never made a move on each other lbr), never would have become pregnant, and in a few months would have been sent off to the Colonies to rot. Serena is just going around saving June’s life and not even trying to lmao. Stupid gross idiot. Yes, June agreed under threat of death otherwise. So, that is NOT consent in any universe. If you must do it for survival, it’s rape. If you’re gonna die or agree to sex, that’s rape. Would she have agreed to get raped by Nick if the threat of the Colonies was not hanging over her head? No. Probably not. And Serena used that for her own ends. There is no way Serena is not a shitty criminal person for what she set up. But it’s also not a fucking crime against humanity, by definition.

So, anyway, without going into all the complexities and bullshit about Nick’s role any further, Serena’s role, etc in all this, it’s just absolutely motherfucking insane that any international law enforcement agency would charge Serena with THAT based on the word of a scorned husband who is also a massive rapist, liar, abuser, and war criminal himself. Like, give me a fucking break already.

And... I’m not gonna lie... if this was even remotely based on history/reality, they would turn a blind eye to anything Serena has done, especially if it was on such a small scale as one instance of sex trafficking. Sounds terrible to put it that way, but that is how these things roll. She’s a small little fish, comparatively. In the grand scheme of things, she’s FAR more valuable as a witness/asset against the Big Fish (Fred) and as a tool for their anti-Gileadean use. Unless they had significant evidence about ALL her crimes. She’s so much more useful as someone who has direct experience and witness to the entire rise of Gilead, including all the massive fucking terrorist crimes against an entire government and mass murders, that Fred et al. committed. To go after Serena so soon is just kneecapping their own damn case against Fred/Gilead lmao.

[This is where the rumours about Rita come in, but here’s the thing, Serena was already granted immunity for what she did under the guise of being a “Wife”. And seriously, what does Rita really know anyway? Serena’s smacked some people around. She’s locked June in her room. She makes June cry and drink gross smoothies. She helps with the Ceremony. She--with the entire system--forced surrogacy and basically kidnapped a baby. Those things, from what I can tell, are perfectly legal in Gilead for a Wife to do, just like it’s perfectly legal for Fred to whip the shit out of Serena--and Serena has been granted immunity for that shit (which is sorta funny in a way cos she basically used the Nuremberg defense, but it’s layered because she was actually a victim of Gilead too. Tricky shit). 

Now, that 2x10 rape is pretty fucking awful (and likely NOT Gilead-legal) and I’m almost certain Rita would have known about that in some way--but she also wasn’t a direct witness. But maybe she doesn’t? It would be fucking stupid of the Waterfords to be like, “Hurr durr let’s illegally pregnancy rape the Handmaid with a Martha an/or Guardian around even tho it comes with a punishment of DEATH!” But I suppose they are not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed either... 

Maybe she knows about the Rapey Sex Date Serena set up for Nick, maybe not, also not a witness to it. We can make assumptions about what Rita knows and doesn’t know, but also... like, none of that matters? (Yet.) Those are just regular fucking crimes on foreign soil and the American and Canadian governments have no jurisdiction to prosecuting them. War crimes require different criteria and Serena smacking Rita in the face isn’t a war crime. It’s shitty assault, but not something any international body would EVER go after.]

Anyway, the show is stupid af for suggesting they’d go after Serena for that singular instance of rape as a war crime. Crimes against humanity--of which YES sexual slavery (sex trafficking in this way) is--require widespread and/or systematic implementation. Serena was NOT going around making all Guardians rape Handmaids for her to get a baby. (Gilead however, and FRED WATERFORD specifically, were directly responsible for the SYSTEM of massive sexual slavery that they created AND maintained. Serena didn’t even come up with the Handmaid idea--THAT WAS THE MEN IN THAT DAMN CAR (Hi Nick, you were there too!).) 

Like... ugh. Stick with what you know, THT. Cos clearly it isn’t anything remotely in the legal realm.

But hey, they had to make up some way to either put Serena on trial for an entire season (YAWNNNNN), or send her back to Gilead. If it’s for the latter reason, and it means we’ll revisit the June/Serena dynamic as the core component of the show, then I’ll let it slide but if it’s to set up the Miller Wet Dream Trial Season and keep Fred/Serena forced together, then I’m livid.

Not that I should care at all considering how many times I’ve said I’m not even watching it anymore, heh.

#long post #this one sort of got away from me.... oop #Anonymous

[hornyorca]

Oooooooooooo I'm about to start writing a Vikings story but a.) don't even have a fully developed character (witch? Chill lady whose super cool? Who knows!) b.) I'm on season one of Vikings and c.) I want that romance in there but with who lmao I'm a mess. I guess the question here is does a witch sound pretty lit for a character and who do you think would be cool to have as a romance character? I already know a majority of the characters to come in the coming seasons lol

I really like the idea of a volva(witch) character! It’s okay if she’s not fully developed yet. Don’t follow in my steps in this, but there have been tons of times I’ve started writing a story with a half developed character, or a 3/4 developed story. Like, back when I use to write on AO3 and FanFiction.net, I had a story for Harry Potter and one for like a Skyrim/The Hobbit cross-over. But for the Harry Potter one, my story was getting way ahead of my unfinished OC, and for the Skyrim/Hobbit one I had everything planned out but no idea how to get the ball rolling. It was really sad. I cried a little, especially with the Skyrim/Hobbit one because I put a lot into that like anywhere from 10k to 12k words a chapter, but not enough into the plot-line of how I wanted things to start, so. If that makes sense.

Just take your time, don’t rush, and it’ll all come to you eventually. Maybe make some drafts of her with different characters and decide who you like the most, because I can see it being interesting with several of them, and I can’t decide who would be best, honestly. Like I said, maybe make some drafts of her with different characters, or take some of the traits you do have developed and see who they would work good with. It really depends on her personality, because as just a witch now, it would be interesting with a lot of them.

I really would like you to tag me in it when it’s done! Or if you’d like someone to read over anything you have to start with, I’d be more than happy to help you, dear!