#dont really have time to draw anything this year so have this again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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WHAT DO YOU MEAAANNN "MID" THAT COMIC GOES SO HARD AND NOT FOR ANYTHING... THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT VERBATIM... THIS GOES HARD. Incredibly effective composition and symbolism and use of values and shadow on the first page ESPECIALLY (I would love to hear what the third eye symbolizes as mentioned in your tags :) ) but. But. But like. Masato being Arakawa's comfort and not recognizing it and certainly not remembering it when he's older... despite how much it means to Arakawa in the moment... owwww owwie

I was gonna ramble about how much it hits home to depict Yoko as non-human because the nightmares that have stuck with the most about my mom were like that But Enough Of That We Get It... at any rate, as always, take care and I hope you get some good news soon!

thank you so much ♪(´▽｀) !! it generally felt like somethin i dont really post (but horror/blood is something i really love and love to draw), so its why i was especially excited to share it and see what people thought: im glad people like it from what i see (❁´◡`❁) ! and im glad the lack of color wasn't anything detrimental- it might have worked better in this instance. maybe.

i dont ever 'title' things per say since i feel weird doin it BUT i guess captions serve as the title sometimes. so the caption 'matrophobia' is really ironic with that whole aspect in relation to masato being arakawa's Everything: on the one hand, it can just be a general fear of your mother, but on the other hand it could also be the fear of becoming like your mother. if i ever intended to go through with a jo variant, 'patrophobia' would for sure be the title with that ambiguity in mind, but (and i suppose in both instances) with this its more ironic here since masato is the one who ends up the most like his parents' abusers- which ultimately just makes things more bittersweet in that moment dont it (´▽｀ ;;;) on top of masato being arakawa's comfort, it's not just masato himself being the only reason: tying back into the alt. meaning of matrophobia, it's also a relief for arakawa in that he didn't turn out like his mother- which, again, makes everything so bittersweet in the end. its like spiders in my brain when it comes to that whole aspect in regards to the arakawa family's history and dynamics...... it makes me insane to be blunt ☠️

ah but yeah ! i decided to make her an actual perceivable monster so people who. DON'T. have issues with either of their parents could get a better feeling of what it is like to have a troublesome parent/s (id rather see wolves in my dreams than my mom on that note- even if they were going to bite my face off ( ´◡` ;;; ) ). i ran out of tags before i could make any more notes i had while drawing （；´x｀） but i do have more and i'll be glad to explain the missing eye bit ! under the cut since it'll just be me rambling bout symbolism ig and its gonna get long (´▽｀;;; )

when it came to the third/center eye being missing specifically, i did it in relation to how the third eye can relate to enlightenment or higher knowledge. definitely just as a result of projection, but its cause all the time when i was growing up my mom would not only assert and act as if Her Way Was The Right Way and that she knew everything, but that i should only go to her if i needed help and no one else could help me- hence it being missing being a reflection of how that notion isn't true (or always true i should say). as en extension, it's also a dig at how enlightened persons are supposed to help others reach enlightenment- yk, guide them. yet, again, in this case, they're only doing harm.

that's all for the third eye bit, but also just some other things i didnt have room to ramble bout last post: i had her lips be torn away to constantly show her fangs since. well. i dont have to explain it i guess: its just meant to highlight the never ending feeling of danger when around her (and the promise of danger). her nose being gone is purposeful too: in animals, the smell of your family's significant and it helps you find out Which One Is Yours right. in her nose being gone- again, more projection and personal problems on my part- it's a way to emphasize the separation between mother and child: 'you're no longer my kid anymore, i can't even recognize your scent'. of course, that's only to the mother: she is the only one no longer able to say they're family because she can't smell that shared scent anymore. in reality, they could very much smell the same, it's just the mother's unwilling to accept that anymore.

i know i mentioned the flowers in my initial post, but her wearing a flower shirt really was convenient since it allowed me to add those thorns and vines. when you have a troublesome parent like that, the feeling of not just being trapped is there, but it's painful- it's not something you can deal with quietly. even if you're not interacting with the parent directly, the thought of their presence or the unfortunate thoughts that come about as a result of having been around them so long are a constant thorn in the side. if i may make a pun ( ´uゝ` )

alright NOW i think i've covered everything i wanted to. without all the symbolism aside, i hope she at least looks grotesque for people to enjoy without the added thought- and i hope i didn't overdue it. in any case im glad you enjoyed it !! i hope you'll enjoy the next comic i get out (❁´◡`❁) if i ever start it and i dont abandon it midway through ( ❁´◡`❁ ;;;)

#long post #snap chats #every day i think of the nice tags someone left about how they really love analyzing my comics so ive tried to put more effort into them #im glad its payin off ♪(´▽｀) i hope ♪(´▽｀;;; )#ALSO OOPS I RAMBLED VERY LONG #my sister told me to go to therapy but therapy's expensive and i already know what my problem is so this is close enough ig LMAO #in that sorry for turning you into my therapist（＞人＜；）it wont happen again. ill still complain bout my life tho LMAO just not so directly #did i have anything else i want to add..... ill think over it carefully this time unlike last time so i dont type an essay again #OH I REMEMBERED buddhism is. crucial to me #its always weird to refer to buddhism as a religion imo and i dont like to label myself anyhow so i wont confidently say im buddhist #plus id feel ashamed for calling myself one when im such a sporadic person ☠️☠️#but ive followed it for years and i turn to it whenever im in especial peril and i generally keep it in mind when. Existing #so thats an extra personal reason for the third eye bit #alright NOW im done speaking (*￣▽￣*) now lets see if i actually draw today ☠️☠️#i hope i get good news soon.. if not this ask was definitely lovely to get so i'll be fine i think- so thank you again for writing ! (❁´◡`❁

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ouchhq · 2 years

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#i just need to vent for a second i dont really want to bother anyone to talk about this so yea here i am #i have been so depressed for weeks. so depressed. more than i have been wanting to admit to myself #i cant stop crying #i am such a failure at life… i am not a good enough artist or a good enough person for what that matters #i really feel like no one cares about me or about being around me #i have been losing will to even draw because i feel like i am not even that good at that… i know being good isnt the point but still #i feel so bad…. i am literally 24 and i look at how my life is and im like ..? how #and i remember how i used to picture my life at this point when i was little.. i literally thought id have kids by now like ??? i thought #id be starting a family and id be working and starting to put money away or whatever #and id be full of people who love me around..#but im here laying in bed crying because its just another day of not being able to get out of bed of 9 years of clinical depression #i thought i was doing better since i started art school.. but here i am #barely ate at lunch and still feeling like i might throw up #started thinking again about sh and s*****e after a really long time. kinda heartbreaking when i realized it #i cant focus on anything and i cant work on anything.. all i want to do is sleep #oh well

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hecksupremechips · 2 months

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Ooooooghhhhhhhhh stressed 🥺

#dont wanna see family tomorrow and im sleeping saur bad lately i couldnt sleep last night and then had a typical fever dream #which gave me a really cute idea for a movie so im gonna keep it in my pocket #but it was one of those things where its like it says a whole lot about me and my trauma and its stressful #um um um and also im juggling all these different things like im sewing im trying to finally write im trying to draw again #while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money #this time of year is always really hard for me i hate when its warm again i hate easter and i hate knowing that summer is coming #aaghhhh rn im ticking and stimming really bad and im having trouble breathing hnnghhh #and im very sweaty lol i always get so sweaty when i dont sleep good i dont get it #also i think im just horrible like the one person i wanna talk to probably is getting tired of my constant life crisis and how needy i am #and theyre probably off being better without me there and im just a burden and then my therapist idk about him #i dont feel like hes really giving me anything like when i talk about how stressed and unsafe i am hes like you gotta find a way to cope #and he doesnt really tell me how exactly i should do that like mate thats why im here i need the help you cant just listen to me panic and #go ‘wow you need to fix that’ ughhhh and i think hes mad at me because i dont think he believes me anymore when i say im in an abusive #situation and that ive been controlled my whole life by everyone and i have never felt safe #and its just like ughhh like i feel like no one believes me anymore and theyre all fed up with my bullshit incompetence and constant #bellyaching and im a horrible friend and a liar and probably just being dramatic as fuck making myself believe im being abused when in #reality im the abuser the ungrateful brat who treats his family like shit and cant trust them even though they seem so perfect to everyone #and im so stupid and toxic for trying to run away and for being scared to death here #thats how its feeling anyway idk everyone is just. weird and im losing my grip on reality and cant tell whats real anymore

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qumiiiquinnquin · 4 months

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i know that i am not improving and always making mediocre drawings, so i want to give up

#vent #i really feel stupid for having this mindset because its always draw for fun dotn draw to be perfect #because striving to be perfect makes doing what you love unfun it instead feels stressful #because now you put such an enormous task to be perfect on yourself #its not just wanting to be perfect i cant think of anything to draw #and its not worth putting in the time and effort anymore #not because im tired. well you probably get it #jealousy again?#i cant make anything worthwhile #im burnt out but i really want to stop now #how many times will i say it until i finally do coward #i think about it all the time for several years now to be very honest #i really dont know why i keep trying #and now with a i running rampant why not finally give up #im so frustrated

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thecherrygod · 1 year

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#my posts #heya hi hello and for the love of god help #ok now that im done with dramatic and dumb #art is starting to feel weird again </3 #well. bad more than weird but you know. it IS weird like #i want to draw i want to use my hands i just want to create but i do like drawing more than anything i think #and im. back to the point that i think my stuff isnt that good i guess. like i cant really. reach my goals? like #im 24 and there are kids doing extremely better than me. but also. thats my fault honestly #i dont draw enough to improve i dont actually seek how to improve. i just. either go through periods i cant do anything that can last #like most of the year like last year which was killing me. or when i get back into it dont exactly feel like im progressing?#like i do get out of my comfort zone at times but that doesnt mean my art is better but i also dont do things that could make me better #but i also know thats okay and that i can just try to have fun with it and maybe i just need a change of pace?#spice some things up maybe? idk #i found my oil pastels i may mess around but also i. it feels like a bad idea but. idk #i want to make something but the idea of actually making a drawing on my tablet feels.... daunting. and i have wips i could try to go on #with those even but... ive been opening those files and closing them without doing anything to them... idk #i wish i could just. enjoy it properly. and not get into these moods so often #bc up to. this week sorta? ive been mostly enjoying it but now im just. idk #well i am also a depressive dumbass so of course but like. man #so.. i may do something with pastels yeah. idk what tho im out of ideas #i only use these like once a year tops so im also not good with that but thats sorta the fun of it sometimes

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devotedlystrangewizard · 1 year

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"i thought ur antidepressants were supposed to help you" really hits different when you know they are helping! but also autistic burnout looks almost the same (vent in tags oops)

#when im having a depression episode i cant enjoy ANYTHING #like at my worst all i could do was lay in bed and watch anime and i didnt even enjoy that #& autistic burnout gets close to that yk #the permanent exhaustion the constantly being on the verge of tears #but if autistic burnout is depression then my special interests are the cure.#i cant not enjoy EVERYTHING because i still enjoy my special interests. i can go sit at my desk to play ffxiv for several hours right now #and feel some semblance of happiness #i can go draw one of my ocs #play dishonored!#hell i could probably gain happiness from playing splatoon #the temporary highs in a horrible low #but when i tell people they just go 'well doing ur homework is also distraction' YEAH BUT ITS THE HOMEWORK IM DISTRACTING MYSELF FROM #i dont want to be miserable all the time do you really think studying would help #my mom yelled at me yesterday. bc im thinking of dropping out & just either retrying or doing the 21+ quiz to study when im 21 #i NEED a break #i can get some mindless job and be fine but not school yk #my life wont be ruined forever just because i dont finish my exams Right Now #i need time to recover from almost 7 years of continuous pressure to succeed???#autistic burnout is so funny ill be like 'nothing matters life sucks' & then i play ffxiv & im happy again #personal

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princessbrunette · 3 months

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i'm having actual brain rot ab pope tellin you to watch your language all the time ... like ok daddy - 🍓

｡˚.𖧧 🩵🌸🐬 𖧧.˚｡

he’s very casual about his scolding in public or around the pogues. he wants to keep you in check, and yes he gets moody sometimes but he doesn’t want to humiliate you. he’ll give you a little jostle where you’re stood pinned to his side, just a little shake as he looks down at you and tsks.

“language. ‘told you already.” he’ll sigh out and you’ll pout, because making pope disappointed was possibly the worst thing in the whole entire world.

it’s not a huge deal. he’s surrounded by a group of loud mouths who swear like sailors— so that’s not why he scolds you. he scolds you because he can tell his sweet little girlfriend is only incorporating the bad language into her vocabulary with the intention of fitting in. it didn’t even sound right.

he won’t bring it up again until you’re having what’s supposed to be your special wind-down time before bed— and he’s staring you down, all low-eyed and calm, your wet tongue pinched between his fingers, the pad of his thumb rubbing slow circles on the centre of it as you start to drool a little.

“i know you don’t actually wanna say all those curse words.” he accuses quietly, deep brown eyes on your mouth. you can’t exactly respond, just a small ‘ah’ sound of quiet defiance. “you dont have to do all that, you know. the pogues like you. you really want me to… wash your mouth out with soap or something.” he chuckles to himself, eyes meeting yours once more when he senses your brows furrowing. you’d believe anything he said when you got into this state. “not actually.” he clarifies, bringing his fingers from your mouth to wrap a bicep around the back of your neck, drawing you to his chest.

“you say bad words.” you reason, slightly muffled by the tepid skin over his collarbone.

“i’m allowed.” he deadpans quickly, hand rising to rub down your back, scooping under your ass to hoist you on his lap a little more. “if you’d been dealing with jj for ten plus years you’d cuss more frequently too.”

｡˚.𖧧 🩵🌸🐬 𖧧.˚｡

#🍓 anon #pope heyward prompt

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lovableapocalypse · 1 year

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feels like

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x fem!reader

wc- 2k

warnings- mentions of pregnancy/being pregnant, vomit/throwing up, like one f bomb, established relationship, i dont think anything else

a/n- reader is a pilot lol. hope you all like it and send me any requests you wanna see!!!!

You were tired of vomit. Tired of the smell, tired of the nausea, and tired of the harsh sting it was leaving in the back of your throat. The past three days you had been pulled to consciousness by your uneasy stomach and ended up over the toilet as your alarm blared from the bedroom.

Bradley has had to leave for training extremely early this week and luckily has missed your ugly morning wake-up call. You’d been subtly avoiding his concerns at work; when you looked queasy after conditioning, when Jake’s body wash scent made you gag, and when you barely touched the coffee he brought you one morning. You played it off as a stomach bug, but your intuition was telling you something completely different.

Thankfully this week had been a zero flight week. You were terrified of flying if your suspicions were accurate, but you were also too scared to take the damn pregnancy test.

As you walked down the hall Friday afternoon, doing your best to avoid everyone, you made a pact with yourself that you would stop by the convenience store tonight. Bradley was staying late to help with new flight curriculum so you’d have the opportunity to do it alone.

Part of you wanted to share this moment with him, but your fear quickly overrode that. You and Bradley had been together for years at this point, ever since your first run at Top Gun. He’s mentioned kids a couple times, but never seriously. Deep down you knew he would accept this and be 100% in it, but your anxiety was on blast and your logical thoughts were nowhere to be found.

You were supposed to be heading to a group meeting, all Dagger Squad members present. Your nausea has been steady all day, and hasn't eased up since you puked your guts up first thing. It’s been miserable and your sweaty, pale complexion are a testament to that. You’re trying your best to take deep breaths as you walk through the humid hallway, but your stomach lurches anyway. You grip the wall nearest to you and clench your eyes shut.

Deep breaths. In and out. You wait for the pain to subside before you start walking again. You slowly enter the conference room, looking around. Last one here, great. You shoot a small smile in apology and head to the empty seat next to Bradley.

He gives you a quizzical look as Maverick begins a spiel about next week's itinerary.

“You okay?” He whispers, brown eyebrows pinched.

You inhale sharply and nod, reaching for his hand to squeeze in reassurance. He squeezes in return and tries his best to keep his attention on Mav, but your squirming is distracting. It’s too hot in this cramped office space. You swear you can feel each person’s body heat radiate off them, making your head spin.

Breaths. Deep freaking breaths. You’re trying to concentrate once again on your breathing as Phoenix asks a question, but everything is muffled and distant. You feel Bradley’s eyes seer into you and your jaw clenches unbearably tight.

This is not happening. You refuse. You’ve made it the whole week without getting sick at work, and you really don’t want your closest colleagues and friends to see you hurl in a tiny trash can. Bradley squeezes your hand tighter trying to grasp your attention, but you just stare ahead and will your body to stop.

Fuck. There’s definitely no stopping it. You shoot to your feet, pulling your hand from Bradley’s, drawing everyone’s attention. You briefly hear Mav ask if you’re alright and your hand quickly shoots to cover your mouth as you stumble to the trash can. Your stomach empties and you cough harshly, bent over the small container. You hear chairs screech and boots on the ground and soon feel a familiar hand slide up your back.

Bradley pulls your hair away from your face with his other hand and continues to rub your back, glancing around the room in concern. Phoenix and Bob shoot him sympathetic looks and Jake’s grimace is clear as day.

Mav makes his way over to you, cautiously, and shouts at Javy to get a medic. You raise your hand and wave at him, trying to refuse. You cough again, “I’m fine. I’m okay.”

“You just puked y/n.” Bradley states.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry- just I’m okay now.”

You slowly stand up and Bradley keeps his grip on you, moving you towards a seat. You glance up, cheeks flushing in embarrassment, and see the sympathetic looks sent your way. “Sorry,” You sigh.

Javy returns out of breath with the medic and you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Really, I’m fine.”

“Y/n I think you should go get checked out,” Maverick says, “Rooster, why don’t you go with her.” He nods his head towards the door and motions for you, Bradley, and the medic to leave the conference room.

Bradley keeps his grip on your elbow as you walk slowly toward the med bay. The medic is asking you basic questions that you are trying your best to answer as vaguely as possible. When you enter the med area you begrudgingly let the medic take your temperature and check your vitals.

“Everything looks okay. I’d just get some rest and head to urgent care if your symptoms get any worse.”

You’re grateful the medic didn’t mention pregnancy and you nod in appreciation as they exit the small exam area.

Bradley sighs and places his hands on his hips. “Let me take you home, honey. Get some sleep.”

You shake your head, “No Roo it’s okay, I promise. You have to stay late anyway.”

You’re avoiding his gaze as a lump forms in your throat. You’re not sure why you feel so emotional all of a sudden, but with barely any sleep and vomiting up everything you eat, you’re exhausted. You feel tears prick your waterline as Bradley steps closer to you.

He reaches up and cups your face. It wasn’t always like this. You and Rooster are both stubborn to an unhealthy degree, and when you two got off on the wrong foot all those years ago you never imagined this. He rubs his thumbs over your cheeks, examining you with his eyes.

“What’s going on? You’ve been off all week.” His voice is soft and it only makes you more emotional.

You close your eyes and feel the first tears escape down your face. “I think I’m pregnant.” You whisper.

You keep your eyes shut as you hear him inhale. He grips your face tighter, willing you to open your eyes. When you finally open them, he’s smiling.

“You’re pregnant?”

You shake your head, “I’m not sure yet. I haven’t taken a test yet, but I’ve been sick all week and I can’t remember when my last period was.” You sigh.

His smile only grows. Of course he would be excited. You’re not sure why you were convinced he would be pissed or upset. His reaction only makes you cry more and he tugs you closer into the warmth of his chest.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head and steps back, helping you off the exam bench. “Let's go home, yeah?” He asks.

You nod solemnly and thread your fingers through his, heading to the exit. Bradley lets Mav know you’re sick and he’s taking you home, planning to finish the flight course next week. He helps you into his Bronco and secures your seatbelt for you. He kisses you lightly before closing the door and heading around the car.

On the way back to your shared place he detours to the nearest convenience store and parks out front. Turning to you he says, “I’m gonna run in and grab a few tests. Do you want to come in?”

You shake your head and lean back against the seat letting it absorb your exhaustion. He’s quick inside and jogs back out to the car with a full bag.

“I didn’t know which one to get so I just grabbed a bunch.” He pulls a few out to show you and you laugh at his eagerness.

He smiles at you and places the bag in the back seat, squeezing your knee as he starts the car again.

He turns the radio on low as you watch your surroundings pass by. You don’t know how to feel about all this. Are you even ready to be a mom? You glance at Bradley and take in his tanned skin and light blush covering his nose and ears. He’d be a great dad, you already know it.

You try to shake off some of your anxiety as you head inside. Bradley pulls you close and squeezes your arm, sending you a reassuring smile. You exhale and turn to him, “Will you take it with me?”

“Of course.” He nods and rubs your arm gently.

You head towards the bathroom with the bag full of tests and Bradley fills a cup of water for you. You’re examining all the different tests when he enters and comes up behind you. He rests his head on your shoulder and reads the boxes with you.

You grab the test with the electronic Pregnant or Not Pregnant answer and a generic 2 line test as well. Bradley sits with you the whole time anxiously squeezing any part of you he can touch. You place the tests near the sink and set a timer on your phone.

You both sit in a comfortable yet tense silence. You can tell Bradley is more excited than you are but he’s doing his best to keep himself calm. The phone rings cutting off your anxious thoughts and you both stand together to look at the results.

You grab the line test first seeing two very visible solid lines. You quickly grab the other which coincides with a bold Pregnant flashing at you. You close your eyes and pass the test to Bradley, feeling the waterworks begin.

He gasps slightly and puts the test back on the counter. He laughs as he turns you to face him, “Hey, hey it’s okay. Everythings gonna be fine,” You can hear the smile in his voice as your tears fall faster.

“We’ll figure it out, okay? Hey, look at me.” He cups your face again, your eyes opening to meet his.

“We’re gonna figure it out.” His smile spreads, “We’re gonna be parents holy shit.” You laugh at his excitement and pull him into an embrace.

“We’re gonna be parents.” You mumble into his shirt.

The next morning you head to a local clinic just to get a medical test and see if everythings okay with the baby. You’re given the all clear and relative timeline of birth and growth and everything seems so surreal. Bradley is beyond excited and it’s starting to rub off on you. He spent the whole night reassuring you and brainstorming possible names.

The doctor did let you know that flying is off limits. You feel a bit sad at the loss of flying, but know Mav will keep you busy in other ways. You keep reminding yourself this as you head to his office Monday morning. Bradley and you are hand in hand, him excited to break the news. You knock and hear a muffled “Come in” on the other side. You exhale and squeeze Bradley’s hand as you push the door open.

“Hey y/n, Bradley.” He nods. “Feeling better?” He places the paperwork he was looking at down and looks between you both.

You glance to Bradley who quickly nods his head, urging you on. “About that.” You turn back to Mav’s confused expression continuing, “Um, Bradley and I actually have something to tell you.”

Pete remains silent, questioning you both.

“I’m, uh, not gonna be able to fly for a while.”

His brows furrow, mouth opening to object, but you beat him to it.

“I’m pregnant.”

His mouth drops in shock and Bradley laughs at his expression.

“I- I mean wow. Holy shit!” He laughs. He stands and rounds the desk pulling you into a tight hug and then Bradley. He shakes Rooster’s shoulders as he pulls away and his face is ecstatic.

“I’ll be damned,” He looks between you both again and shakes his head. You glance at Bradley and smile.

Bradley’s grin is contagious and he shouts, “We’re gonna be parents!”

#bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster top gun #top gun maverick #tgm #top gun #tgm fanfic #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x y/n #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw fluff #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #bradley bradshaw x you #rooster fanfic #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick x you #top gun maverick x reader

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lovingmattysposts · 5 months

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Eastside 3

P1 P2 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17

pairing: y/n and matt sturniolo

summary: growing up in the outskirts of Boston wasn't really pretty. Life wasn't that great for most people, most people. You had Matt and no one fucked with you when Matt was standing by your side. The chief's daughter and the bad boy deliquent. A perfect love story?

Warnings: THIS IS ALL FICTIONAL. NONE OF THIS IS REAL IM JUST TELLING A STORY. a mention of doing hard drugs (not in detail) just the effects of it. It’s kind of like breaking bad if you’ve watched that. Please do not read if mentions of drugs is not your thing. This is the only part with mentions of being on hard drugs. suggestive, fighting, drug deals, angst, fluff

dont take this too seriously, i know matt would never do coke its just a part of the story, its just a character ❤️

xoxo autumn

matt pov

“Here” I said throwing the bag onto the table in front of him. Slim looked from the bag and then to me before standing up slightly. I just watched him. My gaze fixated on him.

If he tried anything I had a gun in my belt.

“You seem too pretty to be in a business like this” He said staring me down. I clenched my jaw. I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to be with my girlfriend. I wasn’t staying around to play games with a 30-year-old druggie.

“What? You got a crush on me or something?” I snapped staring at him. The two guys behind him stepped forward before Slim held his hands up to pause them.

I just stared at Slim.

“Watch it pretty boy” He snapped at me. He moved around the table to stand up to me. “If I’m not wrong, you’re about four days late on this delivery. Your brothers made it very clear that I would have this package before today.” He said staring down at me.

“So I wouldn’t be so chippy when you speak to me” He snapped. I wasn’t intimidated by him. Not much scared me. He did not scare me.

“Yeah well, you got your package so-“ I said starting to turn, but guns were draw quickly making me pause and sigh.

“I’m not done” Slim said looking at me. I turned back to him.

What possessed me to do this? Y/n was right. What the hell was I doing? The last thing I needed was another charge under my belt.

“Make it late on a delivery again, and you won’t get off this easy the next time” He said through gritted teeth. I closed my eyes trying not to snap on this dude. I didn’t take being threatened kindly, but there wasn’t a need for a fight. 3 against 1 I wouldn’t win.

I just stared at him.

He turned before picking up the packaging. “How do I know this is what you say it is?” He asked looking down at it. I rolled my eyes. “It’s pure. I didn’t make it. I’m just the delivery boy” I smiled at him sarcastically.

He reached down into his pocket before pulling out a knife and cutting the top. I just looked at him.

“Take a blow” He said holding it up to me. I glanced from the him to Landon and Ray in the back behind him. Fuck.

“Slim, I don’t do drugs like this” I stated looking at him. He licked his lips. His face didn’t alter. It wasn’t a question. I sighed looking down.

I should have just stayed with y/n. I shouldn’t have made this delivery. This was a mistake.

“It’s pure. Try it for yourself” I mumbled stepping back, but bumped into someone I didn’t recognize. A dude that was three times my size. I looked from him back to Slim.

“Consider it the late fee” Slim said looking down at me. I closed my eyes and sighed. I wasn’t getting out of this one.

Just think of y/n. You can do this.

“I won’t be late again” I said through gritted teeth. If I hated anything, it was being told what to do. But I couldn’t leave y/n. If she found out that I died doing a drug deal, it would crush her more than if I did a blow of Coke.

“I know you won’t. You aren’t leaving until you take this” he said holding bag up to my face. I licked my lips. I’ve only ever really smoked weed before. I’d never done anything like this nor imagined myself doing this.

I was going to kill Nick and Chris.

I looked down at the bag and swallowed.

I leaned down and it was quick, I stood back up looking at him. I started coughing. Fuck that hurt. Slim chuckled down at me before leaning down and taking a blow himself and rubbing his nose, passing the bag off to Landon.

I blinked at him trying to contain myself but I shook my head. My eyes were watering and god that hurt.

He pushed me back slightly before shaking his head.

“Best be on your way delivery boy” he chuckled turning around as I shook my head trying to catch my breath as I turned and walked out of the building.

(I simply don’t know the effects of Coke so I am just guessing 👍😀)

The cold air hit me fast feeling it all over my skin. I shielded the light of the street light against my face. Damn that was bright. I shook my head trying to focus as I walked down the street.

My vision seemed almost clearer as I walked and before I knew it my mind was racing and I walked all the way back to y/n’s house.

Now it was nearing 3 in the morning.

She was mad at me.

I knew she was mad at me.

Fuck, my girlfriend was mad at me.

She can’t be mad at me.

I have to apologize.

y/n pov

I couldn’t sleep after he walked me home. I was worried sick. What was he doing? Was he safe? I texted him a few times from the burner phone he got me, but he didn’t answer.

I avoided the urge to text Nick or Chris. If I asked them one more time about this package they were going to rip my head off. I sighed as I looked over at the clock on my bedside table

3:33am

I really hope he was okay. I felt my eyes start to water. I had been staring at the ceiling for almost three hours. I can’t keep doing this. I cant keep killing myself over worrying if Matt was okay.

God I felt like I was going to be doing this the rest of my life.

I felt my phone buzz. I grabbed it quickly before flipping it open and answering it.

“Matt?” I said quickly. “Baby, why aren’t you asleep?” He asked slowly and softly through the phone. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Where are you? Are you safe? Matt are you okay?” I asked sitting up and turning on the light. He let out a breath through the phone.

“Woah” he said and then silence. “Matt?” I asked. He chuckled a little bit. “You turned your light on, had it always been that bright? I feel like it’s the sun” he laughed through the phone.

I stood up.

“Are you outside?” I whispered as I walked over to my window and pushed the curtains to the side and saw him leaned up against one of the trees in my backyard.

“Hi” he whispered. I sighed of relief, he was okay.

“Matt, just get up here” I smiled shaking my head. He leaned his head against the tree and sighed. “I tried, it’s hard” he said shaking his head. My eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” I asked staring down at him. He sat down against the tree. I stared down at him. “Are you high?” I asked looking at him. He shook his head looking up at me.

“Matthew” I stated. He sighed. “I want to apologize” He said through the phone. I shook my head. “You already did” I stated.

“Can you just come get me?” He asked looking up at me. I turned to look at my door. “I don’t want to wake up my Dad” I said looking at him. He whined through the phone.

What did he take?

“Okay, okay. I’m coming” I said shutting off the phone and opening my door slowly, and walking down the steps before walking out my back door.

I walked quickly over to him, the cold air out here was brutal. He smiled up at me.

“My girlfriend is here” he stated smiling. I looked around him before looking back down. “Get up” I stated looking at him. He frowned.

“Not if you’re gonna be mad at me” He shook his head then closed his eyes. I sighed squatting down in front of him. “Matt, stand up. Just come inside” I sighed. He looked at me but he looked like he was looking through me.

I grabbed his arm as I attempted to pull him to his feet. He groaned as he stood up and fell onto me, wrapping his arms around me.

“What did you take?” I whispered as I tried to keep him standing. He just hummed against me. “It’s Chris’s fault” He mumbled. I shook my head as I pushed him up and started to walk back inside as he leaned against me.

We successfully made it up the stairs, him stumbling slightly before I pushed into my room. He sighed pushing off me and walking over to my bed before falling against it, looking up at the ceiling.

I walked over to him, sitting next to him. He glanced over at me. His pupils were huge. I looked down at his face.

“Are you trying to kiss me?” He whispered. I just looked down at him.

“You didn’t” I said my heart breaking. He swallowed looking away from me. I sat back up biting my lip and turning away from him, feeling tears come up to my eyes.

“Matt” I shook my head. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me and laid agaisnt my lap. “I’m sorry” He whispered. I shook my head and pushed him off of me.

“Y/n, no” He whined reaching for me again. I shook my head. “You came to the chief of police’s house high on Coke?” I spat looking down at him. He looked away from me and clenched his jaw.

“I didn’t know where else to go” he mumbled. I scoffed looking down. “Maybe to your house? I’m calling Chris” I said standing up. I held out my hand. “Give me your phone” I said. He shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to” he whispered. I shook my head as I looked at him. “You didn’t mean to?” I asked. He sighed looking up at me.

“Colors are so bright” he said looking around my room. I just watched him as his eyes scanned me. “Your aura is blue” He stated looking at me holding his hands up. I raised my eyebrows.

“My aura?” I asked staring down at him. He nodded closing his eyes and leaning back. “Pretty blue” he mumbled. “Just like you” he smiled. I closed my eyes and pinched my nose.

There was no way I was dealing with this right now.

“Phone, now” I stated holding out my hand. He whined and rolled over. “Matthew” I stated harshly. “You’re always mad at me. Stop being mad at me” He said his face pressed into a pillow.

I tried everything in me not to strangle him.

“Maybe if you didn’t do stupid shit and lie to me. I wouldn’t be mad” I stated down at him. He groaned.

“Can you not yell at me right now?” He mumbled. I sighed and placed my hand on his head. “Do you hate me?” He mumbled. I sighed.

“Sometimes” I whispered. He groaned into the pillow.

Okay, he's high on a drug he's never taken before. He's probably freaking out. I need to calm down a bit. I took in a deep breath and looked down at him.

"Baby" I whispered, he hummed. "Can I please see your phone?" I asked as he lifted his head to look at me. He blinked at me. "No" He said looking at me. I glared at him.

"You're so pretty, come sit on me" He said pulling me on top of him. I smiled and shook my head. "Matt" I sighed as he ran his hands up my leg. "You don't know how hard it was to deny that blowjob earlier" He sighed looking at me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"You're high off coke Matthew, If you thinking i'm giving you a blowjob you're fucking crazy" I said looking down at him. He sighed. "I know, I was just saying" He mumbled.

"You're lucky I don't slap the shit out of you" I whispered looking down at him. He rolled his eyes. I reached into his pocket before pulling out his phone.

"No" He whined attempting to grab it back, but he was out of it, not even getting close to my hand as I shook my head and unlocked his phone. I clicked on Chris's contact before holding it up to ear as it rang.

Matt whined beneath me and tried to get out from under me and I just shook my head. Chris picked up the phone.

"Matt? Where the hell are you?" Chris said quickly over the phone. I looked down at Matt as he whined putting his hands against his face.

"Christopher, Why is my boyfriend high off coke?" I said angrily over the phone. He paused from my voice. "What?" Chris breathed. He had no idea why he was high either. I sighed.

"Where is he? Where are you?" He asked quickly. I looked down at Matt who was now just staring at the ceiling, staring aimlessly.

"He showed up at my house high out of his mind and his pupils are as big as his fucking eyes. Why the fuck is he on coke Chris?" I asked again. Chris groaned through the phone. "I'm coming to get him" He mumbled quickly.

"Answer the question" I said through gritted teeth. "Fuck Y/n, I don't know. I didn't tell him to take coke" He yelled over the phone. "Give him the phone" Chris said quickly. I sighed before looking down at Matt.

"Matt" I stated making him glance at me. I moved off of him and he whined, trying to pull me back to him but he failed. "Chris wants to talk to you" I said handing him the phone. He sighed as I pressed the phone to his ear and he took it out of my hand.

He just listened for a minute. "Chris, I don't know" Matt sighed closing his eyes. "Yes, I did. He was an asshole" He said making me furrow my eyebrows. "He made me" He whispered. "Matt what is he saying?" I asked looking at him. He glanced at me as he listened to the phone.

"No, I wanna stay here" He frowned. I shook my head. "You can't stay here" I said looking at him. He whined and closed his eyes. "Okay" He breathed through the phone before turning it off and throwing it on the bed.

"Matt, who made you do what?" I asked pulling his arm. "Y/n, do you think I wanted to do this to myself?" He groaned rubbing his eyes. "I have a brain, I knew you would kill me" He shook his head. I sighed and shook my head before sitting up and pulling his head into my lap.

He sighed as he laid against my thighs breathing heavily as we waited for Chris.

matt pov

I groaned as I rolled over on the bed and reached for my phone, but it wasn't there. Wow I felt like shit. I sat up before seeing Nick and Chris staring down at me, making me jump slightly.

"What the fuck happened?" Nick said glaring down at me. I shook my head rubbing my eyes. "What are you-" I started to say. "Last night. you did Coke?" Chris said glaring at me. Memories flooded through my brain. My eyes went wide.

"Fuck" I said shaking my head. I stood up walking over to them before I felt Nick push me. "Are you stupid?" He yelled at me. I glared at him before pushing him back against the wall. "This is your fucking fault!" I yelled at him. He pushed me off of him.

"Slim wouldn't let me leave until I did, said he had to make sure we weren't playing him" I said through gritted teeth. Nick sighed and looked down. Chris just looked at me.

"Y/n was pretty worried last night" Chris said crossing his arms over his chest. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him. "What are you talking about? She was fine after I walked her home. I didn't see her after that" I said shaking my head. Chris and Nick glanced at each other and then back at me. My heart dropped.

"I didn't see her again after that right?" I asked loudly stepping towards them. Chris held up his hands. "Y/n called me from your phone last night. You went to her house after you dropped off the package. We started thinking something went wrong when you didn't come back" Chris explained.

My mouth fell open as stepped back, placing my hands on my forehead. "Oh my god" I breathed. I looked up at Chris. "This is your fault. I never wanted to deliver that damn package in the first place. If you don't remember my girlfriend's dad is the chief of fucking police" I yelled at him.

He glared at me.

"Yes you did. You fucking agreed to it, forgot to deliver it and you took the fucking coke. This is no one's fault but you're own. And yes I am well aware of who your girlfriend's dad is, you showed up there high as shit you absolute dumbass!" He screamed back at me. I sighed looking down. I shook my head.

I can't believe I did this. I am so fucked.

y/n pov

I sat on the curb as the sun started to set. It was a little past 7pm on Friday. I didn't tell Matt to meet me here, but I knew he would come. Because It was Friday at the train tracks. It's when we always met.

Don't get me wrong I was furious with him, only because he was leaving me in the dark. It wasn't fair. He's never kept secrets from me. I don't know why he's starting now.

I heard footsteps coming up from behind me, the crunching of the gravel beneath their feet. I didn't turn to look at them as I threw rocks in front of me. I heard Matt sigh as he sat down next to me. I didn't look at him as he turned to me. I just kept throwing rocks.

"Y/n" He stated. I didn't look at him, I just dropped the rocks in my hand as he looked at me. "You came" I breathed. He let out a breath. "Y/n, I'll never not come" He said making me look up at him. He looked sadly down at me.

I felt tears brim to my eyes.

"Matt, you scared the shit out of me" My voice broke. He sighed as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. He kissed the top of my head as silent tears and shaky breaths came out of me. He squeezed me tight.

"Matt, you're scaring me" I breathed slightly. He pulled back before wiping the tears under my eyes. "I love you" He whispered kissing the top of my head. "I love you too but what are you doing?" I asked shaking my head. He sighed looking down.

"Talk to me, I'm your girlfriend" I said shaking my head. He glanced up at me. "I can't" He breathed. I turned my head looking away. "Y/n, stop" He breathed pulling me back to look at him.

"I wanna-" He stopped and closed his eyes. "I'm just in it with some guys and--" He paused. "I can't tell you what I was doing but I promise what happened that night will never happen again" He shook his head. I closed my eyes. In the dark again.

"Is it because of my dad?" I asked softly. He sighed. "Because I know that Chris and Nick--They always look at me differently because of it--but--but you never did and I don't understand--" I breathed as I started to cry again. He shook his head as he pulled me into him.

"Shh, Shh" He whispered as I cried against him. He ran his hand through my hair, attempting calm me down. "It's not because of your dad, it's because of your safety. My one job is to keep you safe and that's what I'm doing. I am so sorry that you had to see that. I promise you will never have to deal with it ever again okay?" He said pulling me back.

I swallowed as I looked at him. "I just feel so in the dark" I whispered looking at him. He nodded. "It's better that way" He said looking at me, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. I looked down.

"It's punishment enough seeing you like this to know to never do that again" He whispered as he scanned my face. I smiled sadly looking down.

"I don't like this" I whispered. He nodded. "I know you don't" He sighed looking down at me. I looked up at him. "Do you promise to never do that to me again?" I asked looking at him. He nodded as he looked at me. "I won't ever scare you like that again" He whispered. I took a deep breath as I stared out towards the tracks.

"Winter formal is coming up" I breathed. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me. I glanced over at him. "What?" He smiled at me, making me smile and wipe my eyes. "Winter formal" I breathed again looking at him. He stared blankly at me just blinking. I shrugged.

"It would be fun to go" I said biting my lip. He chuckled slightly. "Since when do you care about stupid school dances?" He asked shaking his head. I shook my head and shrugged. "I don't know" I whispered. He just looked at me.

"It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to get dressed up and stuff" I whispered looking down at my feet. He closed his eyes hanging his head. "I've never seen you in a skirt let alone a dress" He stated. He was right. I never get dressed up.

"Yeah I know but--I don't know." I shrugged. I blinked over at him. "Don't you want to feel like a normal teenager for once?" I asked. He shook his head.

"In a room with our high school with a bunch of sweaty, horny teenagers who don't know how to dance and are drunk as shit? No I don't" He shook his head. I just looked back down at the ground moving a few rocks on the ground and nodded.

He let out a breath and groaned.

"Y/n, your dad wouldn't even let me take you" He said as I looked at the ground. I shook my head. "No yeah, I know it was stupid. Just forget I said anything" I mumbled. He just stared down at me.

"Y/n" He breathed grabbing my arm, I pulled back. "I said I know okay?" I said looking up at him. He just looked at me. I shook my head and turned away. He stood up. I didn't look up at him.

"Y/n" He stated. I blinked at the ground. "Baby" He whispered. I glanced up at him. "Come here please" He whispered from above me. I sighed before standing up. He wrapped him arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I sighed as I laid against his chest.

"I love you more than you could ever know" He whispered against the top of my head. I closed my eyes and swallowed. He pushed his hands up my back under my shirt as he rubbed his thumb against the bottom of my back.

"I know" I whispered. He chuckled and leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine. I smiled softly as he looked at me. "Tell me you love me too" He whispered. I rolled my eyes and pushed off of him. His face dropping.

"Make me" I smiled before turning and running into the other direction. I heard footsteps fast behind me as I ran laughing. I barely made it on the other side of the old abandoned building before I screamed from him grabbing me from behind and lifting me off my feet. I laughed as he set me down and we both tumbled on the ground.

He laughed as I struggled against his grip on me. I tried to catch my breath as a I turned to look at him. He sighed smiling before laying his head against the ground looking at me. I just smiled at him. He leaned forward before catching his lips in between mine, kissing me passionatly. I smiled against his lips as I pressed my hands against his face pulling him closer to me.

He gripped my hips as he rolled over on top of me. He leaned down as he kissed my jaw and down my neck. He smiled against my skin, as he pushed my shirt running his hands up my stomach. I sighed.

"Your hands are warm" I whispered as he bit down on my neck. He hummed as his hands came over my bra. "Matt" I sighed pushing his hands down. "What?" He smiled as he lifted his head back up to me, pecking my lips.

"We're in public" I smiled up at him. He lifted his head and looked around. "Hello?" He yelled making my eyes go wide. "Helllo??" He yelled again. I punched him in the chest making him groan and lean forward.

"Matthew" I whispered looking at him with wide eyes. He smiled and shook his head as he connected our lips again, chasing after my kiss. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I wrapped my legs around his back.

"I wanna marry you" He mumbled against my lips. I pulled back. "What?" I asked looking at him. "I wanna marry you" He whispered again looking down at me. I just blinked at him. "What?" He smiled pushing my hair behind my ear. I smiled and shook my head.

"I didn't know that" I whispered looking at him. He rolled his eyes. "How did you not know that?" He asked shaking his head. I shrugged. "You never said it" I stated. He shook his head down at me. "I didn't have to" He whispered. I smiled pushing his brown hair out of his face as he peered down at me.

"How long have you know that?" I asked looking at him. He looked off breathing out. "I think it was when you put a live snake into Sabrinia Scottland's backpack when she left a love note in my locker in the eighth grade" He chuckled above me. I closed my eyes and scrunched my nose.

"That wasn't me" I mumbled making him chuckle. "Yes it was" He laughed. I sighed opening my eyes. He smiled as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek. "I was never subtle was I?" I asked looking up at him. He shook his head smiling.

"No, you weren't" He smiled making me laugh. "Where did you get a live snake?" He asked looking down at me.

"Again, do you want to keep questioning me or can we make out?" I asked looking up at him with raised my eyebrows. "The second choice" He said quickly. I smiled. "Good choice pretty boy" I mumbled as he pressed his lips against mine again.

He ran his hands down my body as he kissed me. He lifted my shirt before kissing down my neck and then down my chest. I squirmed beneath him as he kissed slowly down my stomach.

"Matt" I breathed closing my eyes as I arched against him. He hummed as he started to unbutton my jeans. I breathed in.

That's when we heard voices down the tracks. Matt froze and lifted his head. I sat up at looked at him. His eyes were turned to the tracks. "Matt?" I stated, my heart starting to beat. He didn't look at me.

"Matt, is it cops?" I asked looking at him. He stayed frozen before standing up quickly looking down at me. "Get up" He said sternly looking at me. I jumped up and pulled down my shirt and buttoned my jeans back. He grabbed my hand before pulling me in the opposite direction down the path.

"Matt who was it?" I asked looking up at him as he dragged me with him. He didn't look at me as his jaw was clenched as he closed his eyes. "Matt" I said stopping and turning towards him, pulling my hand back.

"Y/n walk now" He said looking down at me with hard eyes. I shook my head. "No, stop keeping shit from me I'm tired of--"

"Sturniolo!"

Matt closed his eyes and let out a breath. My eyes went wide as I heard voices walking up to us. I turned and Matt grabbed my arm and pushed me behind him. It was a couple of guys. I swallowed as I looked up at Matt.

"Matt" I whispered barley audible. "Just don't say anything and stay behind me" He said barley moving his lips. I swallowed as they approched us.

"Not gonna say hello?" One of the boys asked smiling at Matt. Matt just looked at him, with a hard jaw. "That's not Eastside curtiosy" He smiled as he stopped in front of us.

"Didn't see you. We were just leaving" Matt breathed looking at him. I glanced to the other guy standing next to the one speaking to Matt. His eyes were fixated on me. I glanced at the ground.

The other's eyes glanced to mine and then back to Matt. Matt glared at him. "And who's this?" He smiled at Matt pointing to me. I felt my face drain.

"Like I said, we were just leaving" He said again. The dude stared down Matt. "It's rude to not introduce your friends Matt" He said staring at Matt.

"I'm Pallo" He stated holding out his hand for me to shake. Matt stepped in front of me, pushing me back slightly. Pallo raised his eyebrows to Matt's reaction and lowered his hand. I swallowed.

"Oh? Didn't realize she was taken. This your little girlfriend?" He asked smiling at Matt. I could feel Matt's anger radiating off of him. I looked up at him, wanting to reach out to calm him down but didn't.

"We're not here to cause any trouble. We're on good terms as of yesterday" Matt stated looking at him. He raised his eyebrows. "Oh are we? Did Slim tell you that?" He asked. My eyebrows furrowed at Matt.

The guy behind him eyes never left mine. I looked at the ground. "I know her" He spoke. Matt's eyes snapped to his as he looked at me. He looked at Pallo. "That's the chief's daughter" He said pointing to me. I felt my heart stop.

Pallo raised his eyebrows as he looked at Matt. "You're fucking the chief's daughter Sturniolo?" He asked looking at him. Matt clenched his fists. I closed my eyes. This was not good.

"She's not Eastside blood. She's fair game" Pallo said shaking his head at Matt as he reached into his pocket. Matt stepped forward crossing his arms over his chest as he approached Pallo. "She's not fair game" He stated coldly.

I let out a shaky breath. "She can't be here" Pallo said smiling at Matt.

"She's with me and we were just leaving" Matt said staring him down. I looked up at Matt. Pallo nodded slowly before glancing at me up and down. I crossed my arms and looked away.

"She's a fine little thing" Pallo smiled at Matt. Matt clenched his jaw so hard I thought he was going to break a tooth. "Be a shame if something happened to her" Pallo said stepping up to Matt. Matt peered down at him.

"You forget who me and my brothers are Pallo" He stated down at him. Pallo looked to the side and swallowed. "You forget what would happen if Slim found out about her" He mumbled.

"Slim and I are good. That's not a threat" He shook his head. The other dude stepped towards me, making Matt grab him by the shirt quickly pulling him towards him.

"I could kill you in 100 different ways and make it look like an accident" He mumbled to the dude. My mouth fell open. Matt roughly let him go. Pallo stepped back.

"Best be on your way Matt, the sun's about to set" He said staring at Matt. I looked between them as they walked away. Matt turned back to me and grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I didn't say anything as he dragged me away and out of the tracks.

sorry was this alot

tag list: @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking

#sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

too many teens whining for validation, this blog needs more weird and stupid so...

AITA for kidnapping my friend and trapping her in the cheesebarn?

Hear me out:

The story starts about a week before my (20 at the time ftm) 21st birthday. If you live in the US you know this isnt just some lame 7th birthday or 36th birthday, this is one of the big boy birthdays, the special ones. Its when you can legal buy alcohol and are therefore truly an adult in the eyes of the law.

Naturally my friends (20s) wanted to do something Big for our 21sts. So they asked me what i wanted to do and i said i didnt really care as long as I got a road trip somewhere with friends.

Everyone thought it was a fun idea but it was a little short notice for everyone to get time off from work, but my other friend we will call C also had her 21st exactly a month after mine to the day, and the two of us agreed to share our 21sts and not do much of anything on my actual birthday. This is important, bc it was a SHARED birthday road trip.

I agree to let C pick the destination and I provide the car. We didnt have much of a plan as we were going to meet up with C's old roommate who lives in the city we picked to show us a good time.

It was 5 of us total and about a 7 hour drive altogether there with not a whole lot on the way there. We get to the city she picked and meet the roommate and honestly the rest of this part is just standard 21st birthday shenanigans. Its when we start the drive home things really start.

Remember its a long drive with not much to see? Well that was a lie. On our way back we see it, the Real "Happiest Place on Earth" as far as places with a mouse for a mascot go:

Grandpa's.

Fuckin'.

Cheesebarn.

Obviously me and the other people on the trip want to stop and see the magic, but unfucking fortunately C happens to be the only Basic White Girl ™️ in the entire world who hates cheese and isnt even lactose intolerant. This girl is notorious for making "petty" and "I hate Cheese" her entire personality. She would constantly make faces and gagging noises and talk about how gross and nasty cheese is if you so much as eat a grilt cheese near her.

Clearly she made it known that she wasnt on board with it. "NO! FUCK YOU ALL IM NOT GOING TO A PLACE CALLED A CHEESEBARN ON MY BIRTHDAY!!" were her exact words.

But i remembered i was driving, it was my car, and it was supposed to be my birthday too. So I put it to a vote. "Raise your hand if you wanna go to Grandpa's Cheesebarn!"

All hands raise but one. With C out voted we head to the cheesebarn.

Guys. This place is amazing. Its obviously making cheese its main draw, but yhere's so much more, its every shitty midwest tourist trap rolled into one glorious place. There's even a chocolate shop. We even got C's roommate to ditch work and come meet us bc shr heard "Grandpa's Cheesebarn" and knew she had to drop everything.

All in all a good visit, C even seemed like she had fun once we got there (she sure spent $300 on candies and dip mixes anyway). We go home. Things seem fine.

Then C drops off the face of the earth.

She wont respond to our calls or texts and at first we thought maybe she was giing through a rough patch or something and try to just keep reaching out but give her space. But then we find out that not only is she still hanging our with our other friends who couldnt make the trip with us. So clearly she's just pissed at us about something.

Finally one day a few months later i catch her at her job and just tell her "I dont care if you hate us, we'll never speak to you again if you dont want us to, but what the hell did we do to you??"

And she just looked me over and says "Well. You kidnapped me."

lolwut

And she yells (bc this girl loves yelling at people) "YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND TRAPPED ME AT A CHEESEBARN ON. MY. BIRTHDAY!!!!!"

And i just said "Well it was my birthday too," and havent spoken to her since. Its been over a decade and "No ragrets" as we said back in the day, but uts baffled me for years that that was her reaction. "Im just over you guys" i can understand, and its not like she was shy about telling people she hates them and their out of her life ever before. And from what i ended up hearing from our other friends she kept talking with it really was about the cheesebarn and how we "ruined her birthday".

No but srsly AITA??? For making her go to a cheesebarn???

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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kaceythecrunch · 2 months

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RANT. (sturntok.)

Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.

Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)

Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.

Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.

Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.

Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.

"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."

"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"

Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.

Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.

Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.

"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."

POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.

If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?

Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.

Thanks goodbye.

Me to Sturntok :

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norizz-nation · 7 months

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heyy can you write one where max is y/n's best friend's brother who she used to be scared of when they were young. not knowing they are both in town at the same time, they meet again at his place when his sister is out. they feel a spark when they start talking and shit goes down after one to many glasses of wine. make it as smutty as you want;)

That’s an amazing idea girl 😩

Made for me 💛

Summary: even tho you always hated your best friend’s brother but things had to change

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, choking

You knew max since high school and since then you hated him so much but there wasn’t any specific reason to that. You just didn’t like him. But years later now where you’ve both grew apart, you met him coincidentally in town. “Hey y/n! Long time no see huh?” Max said with a big smile on his face as he went in for a hug and you hugged him back so then you’re not rude to him. “Yeah long time. Probably 7 years right?” You asked as he nodded. “How come you’re here y/n?” He asked pulling away from you. “Just wanted to take a break from work i guess” you said smiling awkwardly.

“Ohh come with me then. I can show you around since your best friend isn’t in town right now” he said. “Yeah i heard that from her” you said in a bit annoying tone, not wanting to hangout with him. You and max then went to every places there not missing a single thing, showing you every tiny bits of his town. Then when it was almost 10 he offered you to go home with him to have a drink. “No max, its really late right now, i cant” you dont know why but you actually wanted to go with him. Spending the whole day with him made you realize that he actually isn’t that bad. “Come on please” max pleaded and you smiled saying “alright sir lets go”

After a couple of drinks you looked at him and said nothing. “What is it y/n?” He asked confusingly. “Did you ever know that i hated you a lot back in high school?” He then scoffed putting his glass down. “Of course i did but did you know that i always think about you. Think about how you would feel under me. How you would look at me when i fuck you” he said those words so calmly as if he said something really random but his eyes meant every single word he said. You were so stunned you couldn’t speak. “M-max what?” You said.

He then caressed your face cupping it saying “but you know you’re made for me”. His hands went down your face then to your tits and then to your thighs drawing small circles. You couldn’t help but squirm for him. “Look at you. Already squirming for me” he said in a cocky way. He then flipped you over so you were on your hands and knees on the sofa as he pushed your panties aside and circled your wet pussy. “Seriously? This wet for nothing? I didnt even do anything” he then made you lick his finger and pushed his dick inside making you moan. He then kept on fucking you while he choked you with his fingers in your mouth. “Such a good pussy you have here” he said as he made his pace faster.

He could feel your pussy clenching around his dick. “Youre gonna cum baby?” Max asked. You just nodded and groaned. “Im gonna cum too baby” he said as he filled your pussy so good. Making you feel so warm inside. “Only made for me” he said as your drools were dripping down his arm.

A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️

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beatcroc · 3 months

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a year!!! as of today i have now been drawing these funny little pizza freaks, to the exclusion of almost everything else, for!!! an entire year!!! i wanted to do a nice group shot/lineup of everybody to compare to when i first started trying to draw them because oh boy were they bad. i never even posted most of them anywhere because they were so bad. but im posting them here, now, to see how everything's changed/evolved.

this is probably the hardest time i've ever had trying to figure out how to work with a style, but we got there eventually; i'm pretty happy with the handle i've got on everybody now...dont let ur memes be dreams. lots of unimportant journaling and idle thoughts abt it below.

older pics

the first one is the VERY first time i drew them, before i thought i was going to actually have any interest in drawing them [lmao]; it was just the one isolated image, for my friendserver, to illustrate the funney message, so there was no attempt to make it Good or actually understand anything going on w/ the designs or style.

second is the original run of practices sketches to start trying to figure them out for real; done after i started having ideas for the comics and such and realized oh god maybe i am actually gonna draw fanart for this. [again, lol, and lmao.]

third one is the first pt art thing i posted on here. there were a couple weeks of sprite studies between this one and the previous image. the one on the top right wasn't part of that post i just threw it on as space filler; i'd intended to shift to doing Sprite Redraws But Stylized to explore tings more, but that was the only one i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

individual characters

peppino: by far the hardest dear god. bro what ARE your shapes how DOES your face work. jesus christ. everything i have trouble with this style for, peppino has it in excess. i draw in polygons! i need consistency! and that is the last thing this kind of style is concerned with. they are made of squarshy clay and i do not understand how to mold them. i was really hoping trying to learn this game's style would GIVE me that kind of flexibility for fun exaggerated facial expression but i don't think much came of it in the end 😔. anyway on the bright side all this means once i got peppino figured out a little bit everybody else clicked way easier.

fake peppino: honestly i never did anything with him on purpose except for how his eyes work + the perma-smile thing. i figured ok hes supposed to look weird and off model so whatever happens with him happens. and it did. and it kept happening. it is still, in fact, happening.

noise/ette: somehow, for every bit that peppino was the least natural thing i've ever tried, these two worked pretty much right off the bat. i still don't understand it, seeing as pretty much all the things at play for peppino are also at work for them. i think the new sketches are actually a little worse than older ones but not enough that i care.

gustavo: really funny bc i drew him on model twice and just went 'okay, cool nice, easy, um. he doesn't have any fucking legs?' fortunately he was the only one i had a strong idea for how to stylize him [square] and it worked exactly as i was hoping so wahoo.

brick: is an animal and therefore 5000x easier and more natural for me to draw/stylize than anything else in the cast. that is Just a rat bro. i can draw a rat.

gerome: i think the funniest one here. the most drastic and least necessary change imo. i was gonna have him be really small at first, like smaller than the noises, but then i just... didn't. he's just peppino-sized now. also i gave him like. actual human facial structure, which is funny bc in most cases i'd do anything to avoid, but it works well for his being A Rock to give him some angles and definition like that+ to differentiate his vibe from the rest of the cast who are all very squishy. also since he is essentially Just A Head it's good to emphasize that too ig.

john: i only drew john a couple times but he gets to be here because i like him. and because most of the stuff i applied to gerome was readily applicable to john, though i did try to keep him a little more uncanny because he is a Huge And Lanky Freak. i hate that he is barefoot btw but idk how to make his color balance look right with shoes.

pizzahead: i did not want to put him on here honestly but i Have drawn him a handful of times and more importantly i didn't know what i was gonna do with john's pose if i didn't have him there to be glared at. the only thing that's different with him is giving him wider-bottomed pants, which i got from when i tried to draw these guys in clone high style [i never posted that one either][i will eventually]

snick: he gets to be here because 1. he's like 6 lines 2. i like him and 3. ive scribbled him a few times offhand and it went pretty well

misc

there are some guys missing because those are guys i didn't draw enough [or at all] to have gotten comfortable with them. sorry

i would have Liked to shade these but for the time being i have accepted that my grasp of light/shadow has decayed to the point im not going to be happy with anything i try there, so For Now i am working on my presentation with flats i guess. gerome has a shadow only because he's shaded like that ingame and looks naked without it

anyway if you are still reading [hi?] i get to shamelessly plug now. i'm over the hill of my pizza run now, and while i still have plenty of things i want to make here, most of the bigger more in-depth ones have passed. pizza tower was the first thing in THREE YEARS to get me out of my oc groove to doing fanart, and once i am done with my ideas here i will be going right back to it. if you like my art or how i write characters/interactions you should check out my oc/webcomic blog @jamverse . i can't promise people who like pizza stuff will be terribly into my designs, but i can guarantee i treat my guys with the exact same sort of tone i handle the pt guys with. and hell, i've mentioned it a few times before, but like 70% of my characterization for fake pep is just copied off one of my characters, so if u are going to miss him... he will still be there in spirit >;p

and if you dont care about any of that and are still reading thank you anyway. actually making these comics + seeing how shockingly well-received they've been has done a lot for my confidence, and for seeing that my kind of stuff IS something people enjoy :')

#pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #the noise #noisette #pizzahead #arting #pizzaposting

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