#dont stop da beat 😎

[jrueships]

🐻 because you’re so cool and funny and always have such correct opinions 🤔 i just read your blog in awe

THE MOTHER OF GOD DONT EAT ME EMOJI ONE HELP 😭 but also don't help 😈. because this is US!!!! we is are! I FEEL ALL THE AWE TOWARD YOU TOO !!!!!!

#sometimes when i post/reblog kyledemar things im like.. nothin to say! just reblog the love <3 love is love!! #n then im like... wait. no. #i MUST speak.... for THE KYLE/DEMAR TRUTHERS!! #genius sparks genius!!!!!! i wanna hear what u have to say on what /I/ have to say n whenever we COMMUNICATE #i UNDERSTAND!!! #we are powerful we are kyle demar #we are CORRECT!!! #OUR AWE IS SHARED!!!!!!!! i will leave a trail of corn into my cave so u can read my blog n air n never fear <3 #actually dont stop fearing it's funnier to me that you dont #IM KIDDING but im not.. WHAT I MEAN IS I VALUE !! U S ! #n our DYNAMIC! #dont stop da beat 😎 #ted tumbunity things

[mccall-me-maurice]

(DISCLAIMER FROM THE FUTURE: this in no way has any sexual intent behind it. I was younger when i posted it and it was to be seen as things teenagers would talk about. I no longer stand with this post, but owe the explanation. thank you!)

One of the many groupchats I’m in quotes but make it LOTF:

Jack: Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, STICKING MY DICK IN ROTISSERIE CHICKENS

Maurice: can’t you get a rotisserie chicken pregnant by doing that?

- — -

Maurice: wait lemme see how to get onto the dark web

Roger: NO

Jack: NO

Robert: STOP MUTHA FUCKER

Maurice: I am on the Safari

- — -

Maurice: yeah I will shake my ass to that song if I know how to shake my ass

Simon, confused: yeah I will shake my ass to that song if I know how to shake my ass?

Maurice: NO SIMON WHYYYYY

Jack: simon 😩 dont 💗 shake ☺️ your 🥺 ass 😎 in 🦶 our 😌 holy 😃 server 🙂

- — -

Robert, after Jack taught the choir math: Math lessons with Jack lets goooo

Maurice: My mothers looking at me because I’m sat here counting

- — -

Jack: Ayo is there like BDSM merch of Gru?

- — -

Ralph: don’t be a pussy make them lesbians

- — -

Ralph: penis warning

Jack: ✨surprise penis✨

- — -

Jack: what there is a faOoT EMOJI

Jack:

Jack: foot* - — -

Maurice: I just answer everything with 69

- – —

Maurice, writing his y/n x gru fic: it will do the senngs

- — -

Ralph: e x p a n d a b l e d i c k

Maurice: OMG LIKE THOSE WANDS

Maurice: IT GROWS LARGER AND YOU CAN SHRINK IT DOWN!

- — -

Maurice: I cant open my fucking biscuits I’m tryna write a gru x y/n fic here

- — -

Ralph’s french ass: 🙄 imagine 😎 not ❤️ fucking 🤡 baguettes 🙂

- — -

Robert: Who is wiggles

Maurice: U DONT KNOW THE WIGGLES?? THEY WENT ON TOUR RECENTLY U IGNORANT FUCK

Robert: BITCH EZXOXSE ME IDK WHO TF THEY ARE

- — -

Roger: my mother told me to get my chemical romance off the tv 🦶🙄

Roger: fuck that bitch ive put it back on the tv

- — -

Maurice: ralph 🛑 ur 😘 dog 😂 doesn’t ☹️ look 💓 like 😏 a 😌 shaved 🦶 penis

- — -

Jack: u think ur cock is big? mine is 2 kilometres long, get fucked!

- — -

Maurice, distressed: I am a grut

- — -

Ralph: LORD THE DICK IS GONNA FLY O U T

- — -

Maurice: gru fucks y/n | not clickbait | very sexual | minors not allowed |

Simon: gru fucks y/n | not clickbait | very sexual | minors not allowed |????

Maurice: SIMON PLS

Jack: SIMON YES

- — -

Simon: gently dips toes in wifi. hmmmm

- — -

Maurice: i’m well exited i’m going to asda later and i might get beat up in the bread aisle 😎

- — -

Robert: oooo gordon 😩😩

Robert: u know just where to put the lamb sauce 😖😖

- — -

Eric: I was eating a banana bread muffin and my dog walks up to me like ’feED tHe hUngRy chILdrEn’ no bitch, go away its my muffin

- — -

Ralph @ Jack: PLS GET YOUR ASS OUT THE SAND

- — -

Roger in chapter 9: oh fuck 🤧 they 😩 ate 🍴my 👉 boyfriend 👅

- — -

Jack: also is it wise to use wood as a pleasure tool for the penis?

Simon, exasperated: also is it wise to use wood as a pleasure tool for the penis?!?!?

Jack: OH NO

- — -

Maurice: get that ass going like how i made bread

- — -

Ralph: my dad was a police person and i would just hear him practicing at like 10pm like ‘damn shawty you have the right to reman scilent’

- — -

Jack: ayo who da fucks phil

- — -

Maurice: jack ur dad likes cock LMAOOOOOO

- — -

Ralph: THE ONLY DADDY I HAVE IS DADDY JESUS CAN I GET AN AMEN

- — -

Jack: I WILL NAE NAE THIS COCK ACORSS HIS FACE

- — -

Ralph: cummies wummies

Ralph, 3 seconds later: lol i did a fucky wucky uwu

- - -

Jack to himself: jack thays naughty who would even say that

- — -

Robert: he has cock innit?

Maurice: yeah ed sheerns throbbing cock

- — -

Roger: my hands are E rated for everyone

- — -

Maurice, looking at Jack and Ralph: they’re too gay i’m gonna go eat bruschetta

- — -

Percival: yeah!! I waddle around and kick mean people in the balls <3

- – -

Robert: s-s-s-s-shart 🥺

#I MADE THIS MONTSH AGO #FINALLY #lotf #lord of the flies #lotf roger #lotf simon #lotf ralph #lotf piggy #lotf jack #lotf maurice #lotf samneric #lotf robert #shitpost #lotf shitpost #lotf percival